Temptation
by Happy2BeDee
Summary: Nick has a baby brother and baby brother is a big problem for Olivia. What happens when she suddenly finds herself fantasizing about him and he shows up? Watch fantasies lead to trouble! Rated M! Bensaro
1. Wake Up

**I'm gonna try something here, don't hate me. I'm gonna give Nick a brother in this one, his name is Emmanuel; Manny for short and he's much younger, around 27. He's a club promoter from Miami and this takes place around season 14. Nick and Olivia are together and I hope this works, otherwise, I'll delete it and we'll act like this never happened, lol!**

 **Dick Wolf owns, I just borrow.**

* * *

 _._

 _He kissed her from her neck, slowly down to her breasts, taking one of her hardened nipples in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it slowly, giving it a playful bite then giving the other the same treatment before he sucked the caramel colored nub greedily in between his lips, driving her insane. She loved to feel his mouth on her nipples and as her back arched, his hands strayed along her backside, pulling her closer to him. His erection was threatening to burst his pants, he wanted her so bad and she wanted him so bad that she began grinding against his cock, soaking his pants with her pussy juices and causing both of them to moan._

" _Please!" She cried through hitched breath as he caressed her mouth with his fingers, parting her lips while he slipped his fingers in between, repeating the same action with her slit. Diligent fingers moving so beautifully, dancing at her clit before sinking and curling fingers into her wetness while his thumb massaged her clit and he smothered her mouth with his kiss._

 _Still manipulating her with his hand as she undulated her hips to him, he smiled as she looked up at him._

" _After I make you come; I'm gonna fuck you until you can't walk!" Manny said._

That's when she woke up; nipples hard, pussy wet and so fucking agitated! It was that same dream that she'd been having lately, she'd be at work and Manny, Nick's gorgeous baby brother would stop by only to end up fucking her! Well, almost fucking her; she never actually got to that part but what she did get to left her so hot, she'd end up waking Nick and fucking him until she was sore; much like she's doing right now! It's not that she's not satisfied, far from it. Nick is an A+ lover, which is why she doesn't understand these dreams, but right now, she doesn't care!

She kisses his sleeping form, first at his temple to stir him and then full on the lips once she's roused him and has his attention. "Baby…!" She whispers against his mouth before she kisses him again, seductively this time and though his eyes remain closed, he's taking her in, lying there, pretending to be asleep with a smile on his face. There's only two reasons that Olivia wakes him and since he didn't hear a phone ring, he knows it's not work and he's so excited anytime he gets to fuck that beautiful body! He feels her tongue slip between his lips and her hand goes south; teasing the head of his dick to life with her fingertips.

"Mierda! Usted sabe cómo despertar a un hombre!" He sings under a sigh as he draws in his breath at the feel of her hand on his cock and she smiles. He's dripping precum and she wants so badly to taste it but doesn't get the chance. Not when he flips her hard so he's on top of her and between her legs, not when her rips her nightgown off and admires the prize before him, dipping his head to taste her lips again using his tongue. And especially not when that same tongue makes its way down her neck where he he licks and sucks while pinching her already sensitive nipples before he sucks them hard and dips a finger into her slit, shocked at her wetness and adding another. He rubs her swollen clit, getting a very vocal response from her before he shoves them inside her, roughly pumping and she quickly arches her back as she grips her legs behind her knees, drawing them closer to her chest and so ready to cum.

He can feel her starting to shake, her walls quaking as he pumps them even harder. He knows what's coming but damn if seeing her come undone isn't the sexiest fucking thing in life!

He continues with his fingers while she swears to everything in the universe that she loves him, and he fucks a second orgasm from her, sucking her release from his fingers before he kisses her so sensually as she comes down, she swears she's died and gone to heaven!

Before long, he's rubbing his huge, rock hard penis on her slit. Dripping precum on her swollen clit which she reaches down and rubs before putting her fingers in her mouth; he tastes so fucking delicious but she can't focus on that. Not when the head of his dick is sending shivers through her clit and making her want him so bad that that she can't stand it!

"Please baby!"

"Tell me what you want Mami." He whispers close to her ear while nuzzling it, all the while keeping his manipulation of her slit going and getting her even more aroused. He loves how wet she is since coming, how slick and swollen her folds are and the sensations it makes him feel, god he wants to blow right there but he has so much in store for her!

"I want you to fuck me...fuck me hard and I don't want you to stop!"

...

Later, she's lost somewhere between extreme pleasure and exhaustion, but she loves it and he loves to feel her; to hear her cry out and whisper when it's overtaking her, he feels powerful! "You are a messy girl, Olivia" He laughs, looking at what he's done! She's coming down from number four and still trembling but still, she wants more! Out of breath, she crashes her lips against his, tongues colliding as she goes deep, caressing her hand in his hair as he grabs hers and let's his mouth roam her neck. He sucks and bites, nipping sensuously all over then stopping at his favorite spot, the junction between her neck and shoulder where he sucks and kisses as he fucks her with renewed vigor.

"Ma-" She almost cried his name but caught herself quickly, thankful that Nick was so engrossed he didn't hear, her eyes slowly closing as she melts into him. She wants to cry at all the emotions that are coming out of her, but mostly she wants to scream at how absolutely exquisite he feels; at how he's making her body feel. Every inch of her is on fire and is not cooling down!

"Come on mami...cum for me, again!" He says while he strokes her slow and deep.

"Nick… please baby!" She cries, feeling his dick hit every nerve and then hitting them on his way out just to re enter and do it again; she's in absolute ecstasy and if her cries and whimpers don't let him know, the way her body molds to him should. She just wants to touch him, to scratch him, to hold him tight to her body when she cums. With the way he's hitting her g-spot, the head of his cock gently massaging it, she's gonna cum hard. He feels her walls start to contract again and he knows that he's done it.

"Oh shit...oh shit...oh shit!" She screams when that familiar feeling hits and she cums again, nails leaving a trail of deep marks down his neck and back, making him wince in pain, but the pleasure outweighing it.

"Shit, mami! Eso es lo que me gusta , cum para mi bebé!

Her ejaculate is just shooting out of her while her legs lock around him and she meets his every thrust as her body goes on autopilot. She arches her back while her eyes roll up and she's squeezing his dick so tightly in her wet warmth, he finds it near impossible to move until she pushes him out and is still cumming, nearly levitating from the strength of it. He doesn't waste time before he's on her, flipping her over onto her stomach. He's about to put her to sleep, kissing her all over her back, all over her ass before he gets inside her pussy again.

"Niiiiiick...oh god!" She moans as he penetrates her even deeper from this position and goes hard! "FUCK ME BABY, YES!" She cries!

He grabs a generous fistful of her hair, pulling it backwards as he continues his assault on her pussy, pounding into her almost maniacally as he licks her from her neck to her ear. God, even her sweat tastes amazing! She pushes back, meeting every thrust vigorously as she cries out. He's fucking her so good that she knows she'll be hurting tomorrow but when you're getting it like this….

Hours later, after having the life fucked out of her and she's happily, contentedly asleep in Nick's arms, her body well sated.

" _Tell me you want it!" This is new. Manny has her on her knees, ass up in the air and the way he's teasing her clit..._

" _I want it, please!" And before she can think, she's stuffed so full of him! 'Holy shit, big dicks run in the family!' she thinks as he begins to move, giving her no time to adjust…_

She wakes with a gasp and sees that it's morning and Nick is nowhere to be found until she hears the toilet flush and the water running from the sink. _Damnit!_ She thinks. _Why can't I get this guy out of my head?_ She closes her eyes and lies back, squeezing her thighs together and pinching a pert nipple that's hidden by her thin covering; the bed sheets that will absolutely have to be changed and suddenly, she's smiling. She has love bites all over as well as pain between her legs but last night, Nick was an animal and she was his very willing prey.

"Hey babe!" She hears him say as he comes out of the bathroom, his very naked, beautiful body looking so glorious in the morning light that is filtering in through the blinds. And just as quickly as she realized the pain she was feeling, she realized even more how much she wanted him as she let her eyes drop to his magnificent dick. "Surprised to see you awake!"

"I was just thinking about you!" She said and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the bed.

"Oh yeah?" When he brought his lips in and kissed her, she knew that she definitely wanted him again but was interrupted by his phone ringing. "Hold that thought." He smiled as he reached over to the nightstand to answer. "Manny…"

Olivia felt like she would have a heart attack as Nick raised the covers between her legs as he talked, she refusing to show a reaction.

Como esta?¿Qué está pasando , hermano? ¡Mucho tiempo ignorado!" He said as he began slowly massaging her clit. "...¿De Verdad? Muy bien ... sí!" He let's off a laugh as she wriggled, listening closely. "De acuerdo Papi... usted también!" and he hung up, throwing the phone down on the floor and spreading her legs.

"Where were we?" He said, about to dive in.

"¿Qué quería Manny?"

"Oh" He said as he parted her, holding her open with with his fingers. "He's coming on Friday for a week! Now… How about you let me pleasure you?" He said and went to eating her, ravenously and she threw her head back.

 _God, don't let him stay here!_ She thought.

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 **I don't know if I should continue this but please tell me what you think, and if I should. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Surprise!

**So here's the deal, I'm writing this story for now but I reserve the right to quit at any given time if I feel or don't feel that it's working. That's all. On the other hand, thank you all for the reviews and we'll see where this goes.**

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.

Ever since the morning that she found out Emmanuel would be arriving in town on Friday, she's been nervous. When she first got with Nick and met Manny at a family gathering in Miami a few months later, it was no big deal. He, like Nick's sisters she thought were very sweet and welcoming; she could see why Nick was so close to them all and she never even considered Manny as anything more than a possible future brother-in law, but then, something happened and she's still not sure what.

She and Nick had been getting really serious at that point and something in her just knew that it was just a matter of time before they took it to the next level, though she never dreamed that going to the next level would be him proposing marriage six months later!

They'd headed straight to his place after a particularly rough case where they made love on his living room floor until they were both too tired to even think about moving, but it was there, when she was spent and lying with her head on his chest and feeling so completely satisfied that he asked her as they were on their way to sleep.

"Babe…" He called to her with his eyes closed to which she gave a low but melodic

"Hmmm?"

"If I ask you a question, will you promise to say yes?"

"Depends on the question."

"Will you marry me?" Her eyes suddenly shot open, her big browns now alert as she looked up at him and she sat up.

"You want me to…?" She said with a smile so wide on her face, she thought she'd burst.

"...marry me!" It didn't take her long to say yes and the following month, they had an engagement party and that's where the problem began. His entire family came up for the event, this was his first marriage and they were all so happy for the couple. They had a pretty big party and Emmanuel was there of course, and she, till this day doesn't know what caused it; maybe it was the fact that she'd had a few drinks or the way Manny, when he stood beside Nick, he could pass for a younger, taller version of his brother. Or maybe it was the way he was dressed in his tight fitting suit that showed off every muscle in his body, or his smell or...who knows? But when he joined her in a dance, she felt flushed and immediately made an excuse to end it, saying that she felt her phone vibrate and she had to check it.

That night when she and Nick got home and after he'd fucked her to within an inch of her life, she fell into a deep sleep where she dreamed about her fiancé. They were making love and when they kissed, suddenly he turned into Manny and she woke up truly startled but so turned on at the same time.

Since that weekend, three whole months have passed and she hasn't seen Emmanuel, thank god but almost every night she's dreamed about him and the dreams have gotten to the point where she can literally feel him and now, she has to deal with the fact that he's coming in a couple days; how in the world is she supposed to handle this, and is the universe really that cruel?

"Hey Liv, we're going for drinks, you in?" Amanda said as she put her coat on. It had been a long day and she was looking forward to unwinding.

"No, actually. I promised Zara I'd pick her up from her grandmother's and we'd bake cupcakes." She smiled.

"That's sweet but, well _can_ you bake?" Amanda laughed.

"Yes, I can!" Olivia grinned. "And I'm quite good at it if I might say so myself!" She bragged.

"She cooks, supercop, 5 languages, keeps her man happy and she bakes; you truly are a superwoman!"

"All in a days work!"

"I'll see you tomorrow; and I'll be expecting some of those cupcakes!" She smiled and left. Olivia got up from her desk and headed to Cragen's office, knocking on the wood of the open door before she entered.

"Cap, I'm gonna be headin out."

"I thought you would have been gone by now." He said as he kept his eyes on the paperwork in front of him, quickly finishing and then putting it away.

"So did I."

"Well, you've been working hard; take tomorrow off."

"Capta-"

"No arguments. As I recall, you have a five year old at home, go, spend some time with her."

Olivia didn't know what to say but she was grateful and simply thanked Cragen before she left, setting out to the Bronx to grab her soon to be stepdaughter.

* * *

When she finally got home, it was just after eight and Zara had fallen asleep in the car. Olivia carried her inside the building, along with the baking supplies and her bags from work and quietly made her way upstairs. She entered the apartment and dropped the bags at the door before she kept going to Zara's bedroom to put her down, quickly changing her into her pajamas without waking her, tucking her into bed and giving her the biggest kiss before leaving the room.

Seeing that Nick wasn't home yet, she put the groceries away and headed off to their bedroom for a hot bath. She'd had a long day and the relaxation of the water was exactly what she needed to unwind. Soon she found it to be so calming that she started to drift off and was soon fast asleep there in the tub amongst the bubbles.

 _"Baby…" He called in a low, sexy voice. She could feel his hand traveling her legs beneath the water and dip into the juncture at her thighs, teasing her slit._

 _"Mmmm; that feels nice!" She murmured, sucking in her bottom lip with her eyes closed. His fingers always felt so amazing but right now; god, they felt like heaven as he parted her lips and began to massage her clit. He had some serious skills and as she shifted, opening her legs to give him more room, he didn't waste the opportunity as he slowly pushed two fingers inside her, keeping his thumb on her clit while he made his way up to her mouth._

 _"You missed me?" He said as she opened her eyes to see Manny standing over her._

 _"I always miss you… Oh god, keep doing that!" She cried as she bucked against his hand when she felt his fingers make contact with her g-spot; she nearly jerked from the tub, it felt so good._

 _"Calm down nasty girl, I got you!" He said and leaned in to kiss her, devouring her mouth with his own. He slipped his tongue in between her lips that were parted and ready to receive him and she slipped an arm around his head pulling him closer._

 _"I want you...I want you now!" Her breathing was as heavy as her lust right now and she was going to burst as he went down, sucking her neck._

Quickly she woke up with a start in the tub to Nick gently shaking her.

"Hey, it's okay. It's just me." He said, smiling his beautiful smile.

"Nick…" She said as she slid both wet hands over her face after drawing them from the water. "I must have fallen asleep...what time is it?" She asked as she sat up. Once again, nipples rock hard and feeling the wetness between her legs just seeping out in spite of being in the water, which had now gone cold.

"It's almost ten. You must have been exhausted!" He said, his hand dipping beneath the water.

* * *

The next morning, Olivia woke up in bed naked beneath the sheets and with a huge smile on her face. She thought about last night, how she and Nick went on until the early hours of the morning. How they didn't wake Zara is a mystery, for as quiet as they tried to be, he had fucked her so good last night, in between her moaning and whimpering, panting and letting her cries slip. Not to mention the uttering of decorative language on both their parts; they'd had a glorious night but like everything good, it had to come to an end.

She lay there in bed and buried her face in his pillow, closing her eyes for just a minute when suddenly her moment was interrupted when the door opened slightly and Zara came bouncing, full of energy into the room.

"Hi peanut!" She said with a smile.

"Olivia, today we get to bake cupcakes!" She squealed happily as she jumped up onto the bed.

"We do, and guess what?"

"What?" The five year old said excitedly.

"Grandpa Don gave me the whole day off, so that I could spend it with you!"

"Oh boy! I have to tell daddy!" She said smiling as she hopped off the bed and went running down the hall. _"Daaaddy!"_ Olivia heard her call and she laughed, turning over to get out of bed and grabbing her silk robe to put it on. When it was tied, she went into the bathroom before heading into the kitchen.

...

"And we're gonna go to the zoo and get our nails painted and go shopping and…" Zara told Nick as she sat on the counter.

"That's a big day you have planned, mi amor, but are you sure there's enough hours?" He laughed, already dressed and ready to go to work.

"Uh huh, and then we're gonna go get ice cream and come home to make cupcakes!" Zara finished, the sarcasm completely lost on her five year old mind.

"Now that, I like. Will you save me some?" Nick asked, knowing that he hates sweets but willing to eat them for his two favorite girls.

"I'll save you _this many_!" She said, putting up ten fingers just as Olivia walked into the kitchen, her hair up in a clip and her robe, though long, it left very little to the imagination with her nipples visible against the fabric. "Olivia, I was telling daddy how much fun we're gonna have today."

"You were?" Olivia asked, then kissed her quick on the lips before she reached for the coffee pot.

"Uh huh."

"Good morning baby!" Olivia said, turning to Nick to kiss his lips as she grabbed a mug.

"Good morning. Gotta admit, I'm surprised to see you awake after last night." He laughed and slapped her butt before taking Zara to the table and sitting her down to her breakfast.

"Hunger will wake you."

"You're welcome." He said, causing her to smile. "And not that I'm complaining babe, but, you might wanna change out of that robe."

"Why?"

"It's pretty." Zara said, chewing a strawberry.

"Thank you peanut!"

"Daddy, I have to go." She said, referring to the bathroom and got up, running. Nick was about to explain as Olivia was starting to walk over to the table when she turned the corner and collided with him. 6' 2" of hunk, in nothing but pajama pants that were incredibly low on his hips. Hips that almost gave away what was at the end of his v. Olivia couldn't help but stopping to stare, her eyes dipping to his chest, then his waistband for just a nanosecond before she refocused them on his face. His gorgeous face with the neatly trimmed stubble and the gorgeous; everything!

"Manny!" She said, those being the only words she could get out with her throat suddenly closing.

"Hey sis!" He said, dipping to her cheek to kiss her there. "You look good, long time no see!" And he went about his business to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Olivia just stood there, truly surprised and looked at Nick while Manny took juice from the refrigerator and turned it up.

"Uh, that's why." Nick said, shyly. "I was gonna tell you, he got in early, after you went to sleep last night, forgot to make a reservation at a hotel and I figured, he's family, why not stay here?" Manny smiled from the counter as Zara came in and saw him and ran to him screaming happily.

"Uncle Manny!"

 _Shit!_

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 **More to come.**


	3. Shower

**Chapter 3, things take a turn for the real. Just a warning. Dick Wolf owns, I just borrow.**

* * *

.

Having forgotten about her hunger and breakfast, Olivia went to the bedroom to grab a shower while Nick fed Zara and he and Manny caught up.

"This can't be my life!" She thought, rather loud as she rinsed the suds from her hair and let the hot water fall down over her body. "You don't _want_ Manny; you can't want him, they're just dreams, that's all. Just dreams!"

 _Dreams where you're underneath him, or against a wall while he prepares to fuck me! God his body!_ She thought while she closed her eyes. _I imagined it was sexy but I never imagined it would be so...God!_ She could feel herself dripping, in spite of the fact that she was in the shower with water all around her. As the suds flowed from her hair and traveled down, over her breasts and stomach and between her thighs she helped to wash them away. Her hands quickly going to her breasts and while she thought of Manny, she found herself pulling on her left nipple and biting her lip.

 _You shouldn't be doing this, Olivia…_ She thought of his well muscled chest and she pulled harder, letting a low moan escape her as her other hand found its way between her legs and began fondling her lips before she parted them and touched her throbbing clit and she rubbed it softly, thinking of when she saw him, standing there in those pajama pants, his dick almost showing and she began rubbing harder as she wondered what it looked like. Was it as big as Nick's?

"Oh god!" She gasped quietly as she fell against the wall and continued to manipulate her clit. Just thinking of Manny; that damn perfect body was just too much for her mind and she quickly found herself cumming hard! But she didn't stop, and rammed two fingers in her cunt, thrusting them hard while her other hand continued on her clit. She bit her lip hard to stop herself from screaming but her whimpers and low moans were becoming not-so-low as she found herself coming again, so hard this time that she began squirting all over the shower and quickly collapsed against the wall as she continued cumming, violently.

This time she couldn't take anymore and held her fingers inside of her, cupping her mound as she shook. She was still sore from Nick last night but this was…

She smiled as she started to come down from her high and just that fast, she felt guilty as her climaxes ran down her thighs.

"What's wrong with me?" She asked herself, so satisfied but feeling like shit. She'd just mentally (and sort of physically) just cheated on Nick while thinking about this brother! His hot, sexy, baby brother with the tight ab- damnit, she was touching herself again!

* * *

After her shower she blew her hair dry but put it in a ponytail since she'd be running behind Zara all day and chose a thin white tee over her bra, and some skin tight blue jeans. She headed out of the bedroom just in time to see Manny on the couch, still in those damn pajamas! She stopped looking just in time to see her beautiful fiancé coming towards her.

"That what you wearing?" He asked, checking her out.

"Something wrong?"

"No, you just look incredibly hot!" He said, slipping his hand around her waist and to her ass where he took a hearty feel and squeezed as he kissed her on the lips.

"Why don't you stay home with us?" She whispered in his ear. "I'm sure after we tire Zara out, we can find something to do!"

"Don't tempt me, as much as I'd love to…" He said as he kissed along her jawline… "I gotta go babe, I'm due in court."

"Daddy, where's my kiss?" The inquisitive 5 year old asked as she came over from the couch where she sat with Manny watching cartoons and reached up to Olivia who lifted her and put her on her hip as she began playing with Olivia's ponytail.

"I got it right here" He told Zara and gave her a big kiss. "You be good for Olivia, entiendes?"

"I will daddy!" And she kissed him again then kissed Olivia before she hopped down and ran across the living room, Nick and Liv watching her before he turned back to her.

"I'll see you tonight!" He said, this time kissing her and adding some tongue to the mix before he pulled away, leaving them both in heat as he clung to the hem of her tee shirt. Neither of them noticing Manny as he came over and got between them.

"No kiss for me?" He asked, joking as he stood with his strong back to Olivia and she couldn't help but look, her eyes flowing down to his… _Jesus, even his ass is perfect!_ She thought as she bit her lip but Nick, unable to see her, just laughed.

"You dick!" He said and grabbed Manny's face with both hands, laying a sloppy one on his cheek. "I gotta go!" He said, getting in one more smooch with Olivia, who suddenly snapped out of her little episode.

When he was gone, Olivia stood looking at the door while Manny poured another bowl of chocolate cereal and stood at the counter eating it, then deciding that he'd be more comfortable on the couch only, he went to the left, passing by Olivia and making sure he squeezed by her backside much to her shock. Forget about wet, she came right there. _Holy shit!_ She cried in her mind, rocked by that mini orgasm and even more by his brazenness. She didn't know if she should be offended by what he did or...

"That brother of mine is one very lucky man!" He whispered so damn sexy, leaning down close to her ear and rubbing it with his nose. "I love that scent on you!" His deep voice said before he walked on by, continuing with his cereal and not looking back as he made his way to the living room and sat down. Olivia stood there, still facing the door with her nipples now as hard as rocks with goosebumps trailing her skin.

"Olivia, can you do my hair like yours?" Zara asked. Olivia didn't even have a clue as to when she came over again.

"I-sure peanut!" She said all while staring into the living room at Manny who had his back turned to her. "Why don't we get the dishwasher started and we'll get you dressed!" She said, absolutely flustered, light beads of sweat breaking out on her brow in spite of the air conditioned room.

"I'll help!" Zara said happily and went over to the table to gather dishes. But Olivia, still not believing what had just happened, stood there still staring and having creamed her panties. Manny turned around for just a second as if he could feel her watching and winked at her before he turned back towards the TV.

Things were definitely about to take an interesting turn.

* * *

 **I'm bad, I know.**


	4. Confess?

**Chapter 4, let's go!**

* * *

.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Olivia said quietly to Casey who had joined her and Zara for lunch at Chuck E Cheese. They stood near the ball pit as Zara played inside with the other kids, Olivia watching her closely while she talked to Casey.

"I can't believe he rubbed up against you!"

"Believe it. Zara honey, we're gonna go in 20 minutes!" She yelled to the child who was somewhere under those balls and laughed when she heard a happy sounding "okay."

"So, was it big?" Casey asked, Olivia turned, annoyed and looked at her.

"Seriously Case?"

"What?" The redhead asked. She had been attracted to the baby brother since briefly meeting him at Nick and Olivia's engagement party a few months ago and recalled that if she hadn't had to leave early for a work emergency, she would have fucked him.

"I just won't- I'll act as if he's not there!"

Casey sat sipping her iced coffee drink through a straw while she gave Olivia 'the look'.

"Well, not act as if he's not there I mean obviously he's there but…"

"But…?" She went back to sipping her drink.

"You're no help!" Olivia said as she let off a sigh.

"I'm sorry, but what do you want me to say? Ignore him? Fuck him? Cuz I gotta tell you, if it were me, I'd be all over that man; god, look at him!" When a woman who was passing by stopped and looked at Casey with horror on her face, Casey turned around to her. "Oh please, like you've never fucked a guy just because? Go watch your kid!" Olivia stood there, shaking her head with it slightly lowered, trying not to laugh.

"She's gonna get us thrown out!"

"She's a busybody…" Casey said, dismissively.

"God, I am the worst fiancé! Nick's never even looked at another woman since we've been together and here I am fantasizing about his baby brother!" She said near a whisper. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Hmmm, got a gorgeous, hot guy in love with you and his gorgeous hot baby brother that wants to fuck you; did I tell you how much I hate you, like really, really hate you right now?" Olivia turned her head and looked at her but didn't say anything as she rolled her eyes playfully.

"Did I tell you that you make me angry enough to wanna slap you sometimes?"

"No, but that's cute! Now, tell me again what he said; and go slow this time!"

* * *

Over at the apartment, Manny was getting dressed, putting the finishing touches on his form fitting, grey suit that he wore with a black, silk, v-neck tee shirt. At the moment, he stood in the full-length mirror of the guest bedroom, checking his hair while he talked to Nick on speaker.

"Did I tell you what an ass I think you are?"

"Yeah, about 20 times, and thank you, I get it but if you were me, wouldn't you wanna know?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, I would've, but I would've found out _before_ I took the liberty of proposing marriage and moving in together! Man, what were you thinking?"

"Agreed, perhaps the timing is a bit off…"

"Way off!" He said as he combed an out of place lock.

"Way off, but, come on. ¿Que quieres que haga? I have to know that she's the real deal before we say 'I do' in two weeks. I have Zara to think about."

"Right, and this has nada to do with Marisol or Vida being nosy asses? I wish they'd act like Sonia and bud out!" Manny said, referring to he and Nicks sisters, all of which were older than he and Nick except for Sonia. She was younger than Nick but older than Manny, who was the baby of the family. Still, Manny hated the way they were always in his and Nick's affairs, especially after Zara was born. He got it, they never trusted her mother, and when she ran off, saying she "couldn't take it anymore" when Zara was just three months old, they were right to be protective. But Nick had been with Olivia for so long, eighteen months, way longer than he'd been with Maria before she got pregnant with Zara and split. Zara would finally be getting a real mom. It had been hard for Nick to raise her as a single dad but then Olivia had come along and changed all that. Zara fell in love, as did Olivia and for his evil sisters to plant this in his head…

"It's not all Mari and Vida" Nick denied but Manny knew better. He loved his sisters but they had boundary issues, to say the least.

"Nicolas… Why did I get involved with this?" He questioned but he already knew the answer. Nick wanted him; begged him to tempt Olivia to see if she would bite and Manny dutifully played the reluctant brother, but the truth was, Manny had been interested in her since the day he first met Olivia and one thing he knew above all else: He loved his brother, but he was going to fuck her!

"Porque me amas?"

"Too much sometimes." He laughed. "And for the record, she didn't bite."

"Nothing?"

"Nope, and I laid it on pretty thick; you've got a good woman brother!"

"I guess I do; man, I feel so…"

"Stupid? Yeah, you kinda are. Listen, I gotta go or I'm gonna be late for my meeting. I'll see you later!" And he hung up the phone. Already sorry as he headed out to his meeting, but what Nick didn't know wouldn't hurt him!

* * *

Later that evening as Olivia and Zara made it home, they came into the house loaded with shopping bags and noticed that Nick was in the kitchen.

"Daddy!" Zara called and ran to him, quickly being scooped up in his arms.

"Hey, mi amor!"

"You're home early!" Olivia said, genuinely happy to see him as she dropped her bags by the hall and went in to kiss him. "What smells so good?"

"Lasagne." And he kissed her. "Hi."

"Daddy, we had so much fun!"

"You did?"

"Uh huh, look, pink sparkles!" She said as she held out her hands so he could admire her nails, painted a soft pale pink with sparkly butterflies on them. "I got my toes done too!" She smiled, holding up a sandaled foot.

"That is beyond cool. Did you thank OIivia?"

"She did." Olivia smiled. "Peanut, why don't you go put your bags in your room while I talk to daddy?"

"Okay, will you come to look at my stuff?"

"I will. Five minutes." He kissed her and put her down and waited until she was gone before he turned to Olivia. "What's going on?" He asked. She went to the sink and started washing her hands.

"Where's Manny?" She asked as she ripped off a paper towel and began drying her hands and started chopping the lettuce for the salad.

"Uh...he's out for the night actually." He said and went over to her, placing his arms around her waist from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder as she chopped.

"I debated if I should tell you this… Nick the last thing I wanna do is cause trouble…"

" _Daddy!"_

"Yeah baby?"

" _Are you coming?"_

"I gotta teach that kid how to keep time!" He laughed to Olivia as he reluctantly let go. "Can we talk later?" She turned and smiled, giving his lips a quick kiss.

"It's okay, go." And she kissed him again then turned back to chop the salad and wondering if that little interruption by Zara hadn't been an unknown save.

* * *

 **I'm slow with the good stuff, sue me! In the meantime, please review.**


	5. Then, Early This Morning

**Chapter 5, things take a turn.**

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"Zara, I think daddy likes them!" Olivia said referring to the cupcakes.

"You do?!" She asked Nick.

"I do baby! You know, I don't eat sweets but these are delicious!" Nick said as he took a second bite and he was right! Sweets weren't his thing but the cupcakes that Zara had so affectionately put marshmallows into the batter, they actually came out quite good!

"Really?" Zara said excitedly, happy that her father enjoyed them.

"Yes really! Good job baby!" and he gave her a kiss on the cheek to which she laughed.

"Thank you daddy, but you have to give Olivia a kiss too, she helped me!" She said innocently while he and Olivia grinned at each other, leaning in for a passionate kiss just when both their phones rang.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Olivia cried, her head on Nick's shoulder as he pulled their phones from the coffee table and handed hers to her while he answered his.

"Amaro"

"Benson"

* * *

Turned out that they were both needed at crime scenes on opposite ends of town. Him for a murder, her for a child endangerment case and since she happened to be the best detective that Cragen had when it came to children, she was regretfully on call.

After dropping Zara off to her grandmother's house, she headed over to the hospital where Fin was waiting and unfortunately, the night wore on and on, it being nearly two o'clock in the morning before they finished up and she headed home. Nick wasn't to be so lucky. It turned out that the homicide was also a kidnapping and they didn't have a lot of time to find the male victim, which meant that Nick got to pull an all nighter.

Olivia got home just after 2AM and looked around; no Manny! That was a good thing because after what had happened, she wasn't sure exactly how to face him again. Thankfully, after spending time with Zara, Nick forgot all about what she wanted to say to him and she was kind of glad; did she really need this kind of drama coming from her and causing a rift between the two brothers? She decided that she was too tired to think about it then and there and hopped in the shower, washing the day away before she went to bed only, sleep never came. She lay in bed all night thinking of Manny.

" _That brother of mine is one very lucky man!"_ She remembered the low, sexy tone of his voice when he whispered it to her, and the feel of his nose against her ear. But most of all, she remembered how his cock felt as it momentarily pushed up against her ass; she actually came!

"Damn you!" She mumbled, wanting to scream in frustration, out loud to the empty apartment, hell, to the whole building. Why did the craziest shit always happen to her? She wondered as she caressed her breast with her fingers through her tee shirt, feeling how hard her nipples were.

"No!" She told herself, snatching her hand away like it was touching molten lava. "You've done enough damage!" But her nipples were aching to be touched, just to soothe the thought of him away!

She watched as he stood in front of her and Nick kissed him... _damn_ if that wasn't the hottest thing ever! That huge tattoo and those strong muscles in his back, his waistband practically falling off his ass and then Nick standing there kissing him, completely buttoned up in his work suit but she knew what lurked beneath those clothes; every single, rippling muscle; that washboard stomach. _So much like Manny's!_ He found herself then thinking and screamed! This was doing no good! She looked at her phone, 4:51! She'd laid here almost 3 hours for nothing and quickly jumped up, deciding that there was no use in lying down if she wasn't sleeping and quickly changed into a sports bra, tank top, capri leggings and sneakers. Put her hair in a ponytail and headed out for a run.

* * *

Running hard just over 5 miles in the early morning July air and then back to the apartment, she felt a lot better. Her mind was clear and she was able to think much better, the first thought being of Manny. She didn't need to tell Nick because as far as she was concerned, he was a dead issue! Okay, yes, she'd been fantasizing about him but in the end she loved his brother; Nick was her whole world and Manny would just have to remain in her mind. She was marrying Nick in two weeks, she thought as the elevator ascended, and nothing would come in between that! Was the thought as Nick called, just as she stepped off the elevator.

"Hey babe, you home?" She asked, breathing heavy.

"No, I'm not getting out of here anytime soon. Where are you? You sound…"

"Out of breath?" She laughed as she made her way down the hall to the apartment. "Yeah, just came from a 5 mile run and haven't quite steadied my breathing yet."

"Sounds like you miss me!"

"It's lonely here without you and the peanut!" She said as she unlocked the door and went inside to a dark house. Walking through the hall and turning on the light switch when she reached the living room.

"Well, I'll make it up to you when I'm home. I won't ask what you're going to be doing once you hang up, I'll just imagine you...on second thought, better not!" He said and they shared a laugh. "Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I love you." He said, feeling guilty that he ever asked Manny to test her. He knew that he had a good woman and the fact that he let his sisters into his head, he truly regretted it now.

"I love you too baby!"

"Sunday?"

"What?"

"Sunday, we both have it off and I plan to spend it catering to you."

"Sounds like a plan!" She smiled "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better take a shower and get this sweat off me."

"Don't make me think about it! Ughh, I'll call you later!" When he hung up, she immediately put the phone down and headed to the kitchen for a drink of water before going for the shower. Standing there at the counter with her bottle, she took a drink and smiled as thought of Nick, Manny quickly interrupting those thoughts and she shook them off.

"Stop it Olivia!" She warned herself and turned around, shocked as hell to see Manny standing there just four feet from her and she jumped. "Damnit Manny!"

"Sorry about that." He said and stepped closer, reaching over her to the fridge to grab a water. He'd lost the jacket and shoes and stood there in just his black silk tee shirt that fit him like a second skin, and his pants that left very little to the imagination. She swore she could see the print of his cock in them- not that she was looking or anything. "See something you like?" He said coyly as he stood there sipping his water.

"What? No, I was just wondering what you're doing here; I thought you'd be in some girls bed this early."

"Nah, there's only one woman I want and I'm kinda curbing off all others until I get her!" He said, looking her dead in the eyes as he said it, causing her to swallow hard and quite uncomfortably.

"Um, I- I'd better go..."She said nervously.

"I know you've been thinking about me Olivia. Probably as much as I've been thinking about you" He got closer.

"I don't know what you're…" She said; well tried saying and cleared her throat. Jesus, why was her voice suddenly disappearing?! "...talking about." _Cuz that sounded like you meant it!_

When he grinned, obviously amused, she could feel herself getting so wet as her rogue nipples went beserk and stood clean out through her sports bra, threatening to rip clean through the fabric and it didn't help that she was wearing a very loose fitting, slouchy tank top that did nothing to cover her top much. He could literally see how turned on she was, her pulse quickening under her sweaty skin as her breathing caught.

"I think you do!" He said,stepping closer and pushing her against the counter. "I think, you want me just as much as I want you." He said that last part directly in her ear and she melted as he grazed her jaw line, and then her neck with feather-light kisses as he let his hand feel her breast, teasing her nipple. "You're already hard for me, I bet there's an ocean between your thighs!"

 _Oh god!_

"Manny; we can't…" She told him weakly "Nick…"

"Won't ever have to know! ...I want you Olivia, and I always get what I want!" And he kissed her lips, soft at first to test the waters and then rougher, more passionate as she gave in.

 _Don't Olivia!_ Her inner voice screamed but she couldn't hear it and frankly didn't want to. She had this incredibly sexy man right here in front of her and maybe she'd regret what she was about to do but Casey was right. She'd never get this opportunity again and she'd be a fool to waste it!

* * *

 **You didn't think I'd give it to you all, now did you? Come on, you know me better than that! Reviews will make me write faster soooo….**


	6. And Now, This! (Redux)

**Okay, so I'm sorry about the other chapter but here's chapter 6 for real, updated and I feel, much better. Enjoy!**

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As Manny went wild kissing her neck, Olivia's senses began coming back to her and she began to object although she wasn't sure exactly how far her objections would get her, she was enjoying what he was doing to her too much.

"Emmanuel…" She sighed, struggling for breath as he let his lips skim hers. Her terribly swollen nipples already hardened beyond belief, and with his fingers on them, it was a wonder that she could think. "Manny, we have...we have to stop!" She said as she reluctantly pulled away from him; one of the straps of her tank top already off her shoulder.

"Come on Olivia" He said as he stepped closer to her and she took a step back, bumping into the island counter and nearly tripping as Manny covered his mouth to avoid laughing. She quickly fixed her shirt, so turned on, she couldn't even see straight and he took pride in knowing that he was the cause, all while she wished she hadn't taken her sneakers off at the door so she could haul ass out of here! If she did this...she couldn't even think! "You know you want me just as much as I want you, don't fight it!"

"We can't!" She said, her voice diminishing as he took a step closer and put his hands on her waist, eliminating the space between them.

"Dimé por que no." He whispered as he caressed her face and brought his lips so close to hers, she could smell the hint of Brandy on his breath.

"Nick…"

"Nick what?" He asked as he lightly skimmed her jawline again, planting searing kisses to it.

"He's… My fiance-" She whispered, urgently as his hand slid a strap off her shoulder, taking one of the straps of her sports bra with it, partially exposing one of her beautiful, full breasts before she stopped him, just before her nipple was uncovered.

"Think of this as a last hurrah before the wedding!" He spilled kisses down her neck and to her breast as he said this and she melted when his mouth touched the skin that was exposed, gently nipping her before he kissed and sucked. She was losing this battle; the pleasure she was feeling was so...great, so...

"We- we can't do...can't do this..." She said so low that she wondered if he heard her as she pushed his head away and with the last bit of strength she had, she turned and tried to walk away. God she really did try but Manny, he wasn't giving up so easily. She still hadn't told him 'no' and until he heard that word fall from her lips, as far as he was concerned, she was fair game! He slipped his arms around her waist from behind, slamming her backside into him; his chest feeling like a brick wall and she just being made crazy! She was already so wet, she couldn't see straight and now her had the _nerve_ to press her up against him?

"Tell me you don't want this!" He said low into her ear as he turned her around to face him and ran his mouth alongside it. "Tell me, that you haven't wanted it!" He said softer this time as he palmed her ass. "No panties?" He asked, though it didn't surprise him.

" _Manny, please…_ " She begged in a whisper as she felt his fingers on her slit, but what was she begging for? She'd wanted this; she'd needed it to put out this fire that was burning in the pit of her belly that only he could extinguish and right now, pressed against his body with his hands on her, his fingers seeping south to see just how badly she craved him...no, she couldn't. She loved Nick! But damn if she didn't want Manny, damn if her pussy wasn't screaming for him to bend her over the counter right now and fuck her until he broke her!

"I- I have to take a shower. I have to..." She stammered, and pulled his hands off her, walking away before she had a chance to change her mind. She hurried to she and Nick's bedroom, leaving Manny standing in the middle of the kitchen with a raging hard on while he watched her leave, watched her ass and made his dick strain even more against his pants. He grabbed it, needing some relief while he silently laughed.

She was one hell of a woman!

* * *

Moments later in the bathroom under the scalding hot water of the shower, her mind was swimming! What the hell did she almost do? A better question was _why did she still want to do it?_

As she washed her body, the lather running over her, she fought hard not to touch herself though she was dripping! Manny had affected every part of her to the point where her body begged to be touched, to be satisfied, for somebody to relieve it from this state of absolute arousal, but she couldn't! No matter how terribly her pussy throbbed between her legs, swelling with desire. She wouldn't dare touch her nipples that had turned two shades darker and were right now so damn sensitive that when her shower puff accidentally brushed over one of them, she whimpered, nearly cumming right then and there.

" _Damn you, Manny! Fuck you!"_ She cried from being so frustrated that she threw her puff down and backed herself against the wall with her palms to her eyes to catch her angry tears. This wasn't right. How could she let him, Nick's baby brother, her fucking fiance's little brother get her to this state? Her skin all flushed, her pulse racing and her body dying for a taste of him? Her lips were still swollen from his kiss; his deliciously hot and fervent kiss, a kiss that trailed along to her collarbone and dipped down to her breasts. God she wanted him so bad she could literally feel him as she stood there. His beautiful hot mouth planting soft where he left off, kissing her breasts, then enveloping her nipple and sucking it in so deep while he pulled the other, not being gentle in his pulling or his sucking and she cried out from the sensations. "Oh god don't stop!" She said as she threw her arms around him, pushing his head closer to her chest, wanting him to suck harder. She opened her eyes and saw that it was real; that Manny had come into the shower stall in his full naked glory and he was sucking on her nipple. _Oh this is bad! This is...I need to stop this; I need…_

He took his mouth away from her and stood up to his full height "Tell me again how we can't do this!" He said with a smirk, his hand between her legs stroking her as she stood there, her nipples throbbing wonderfully and she couldn't stop this, god forgive her but she had to have him and she gave herself over to him, kissing him hard as he kissed her back, quickly going down to her neck.

"Please don't mark me; please!" She begged even though she wanted nothing more than to let him go crazy, to fuck her, to mark her, just do as he pleased but she couldn't risk it. That much she kept in mind as she took a deep breath and then again as she felt his teeth bite her other nipple before he drew it into his mouth and soothed it, sucking hard as he pushed three fingers inside her. Her head dropped and her mouth opened to curse the intrusion. _Fuuuck!_

But Manny was all about the business of why he came. He had roughly three hours before she needed to be back at work and he was going to spend every moment of those three hours, those 180 minutes, every one of those 10,800 seconds making her cum and screaming his name. Knowing that when he was done, he'd be on her mind for a very long time!

He began rubbing her clit while he thrust his fingers inside her, tonguing her mouth as she involuntarily ground her hips against his fingers. What he was doing to her walls and to her clit felt so fucking euphoric, she began to lose it and he hadn't even fucked her yet! "Manny please!" There it was again, her begging only this time she knew exactly what she was begging for.

"Tell me what you want!" And she didn't hesitate. She wanted him everywhere at once but she needed him in one particular place and made no qualms about telling him where.

"Your mouth on my clit! I want you to eat my pussy and don't stop until I come all over your face!" And with that, she put her hands on his head, with those lovely wet black curls and kissed him before pushing his head down and he was more than happy to go, getting down on his knees, loving the way she took control!

He got there and withdrew his fingers, licking her juices from them then kissed her stomach, running his tongue over and through her belly button before kissing her mound and down the inside of her thigh, placing her leg over his shoulder. As she stood there, biting her lip in anticipation, imagining that he'd approach it like his brother and she wasn't disappointed! He buried his face there in between her thighs, sucking her clit as if it were a sugary treat and making her cry out with the feeling of his tongue on her clit and his facial hair tickling her pussy at the same time.

"My god, you taste so fucking good!" He said as she squirmed. Moaning from the sensations he was giving her with his tongue. Right now, she didn't care about anything except the pleasure she was getting and immediately pushed his head back to her pussy. She thought that maybe she'd need to instruct him on how to pleasure her but quickly saw that he had _no_ problem in that department and continued to eat her out damn well. She pulled and squeezed her nipples as he went, already drowning in pleasure and when he wrapped his arms around her thighs, holding her there against the wall and really went in, she started to shake! He was licking and sucking her clit with such intensity she couldn't help but be vocal about it and that just drove him on. He wasn't simply eating her pussy, he was attacking it with his mouth and the louder she got, the more she cried _yes!_ Then began begging with _please!_ and _oh god!_ as the pleasure became too much and she shook even more, he knew he had her. But still, she hadn't cum all over his face like she said and he wouldn't stop until she did!

"Manny...oh god, Manny please, please!" She screamed, feeling her climax building and going insane! She squeezed her thighs around his head and pulled at his hair, unable to take more but that's exactly what she got. He pulled her thighs apart and licked her massively swollen bud, sending shockwaves through her as he again inserted his fingers in her vagina and pistoned them against her g-spot as he continued on her clit! When she felt her orgasms coming they hit her hard and she spasmed, screaming as she came, her ejaculate shooting out and what he couldn't drink fast enough, literally covered his face as she again clenched her thighs shut but he just kept going with his fingers until her drew another from her and she was spent.

He kissed her clit and her lips beautifully and lovingly as she came down from her high, making love to her breasts with his mouth as he kissed his way up, his cock at full attention now. "Come here! He said and kissed her roughly, her head in between his hands that were tangled in her wet hair as she tried to stand on shaky legs. He had whipped her, no doubt and as they kissed and his cock poked between her legs, rubbing her slit, she put her hand down and grabbed it to feel. Shocked at its size!

 _Holy shit!_ She thought at feeling his cock, she'd thought that Nick was a monster being 9 inches and thick but this; Manny was on another level! She could swear that he was longer than Nick was and his girth? Like Nick's, she could barely get her hand around it, but he was definitely bigger. She didn't know how on earth was it going to fit! Her mouth and pussy watered as she stroked it, at this point absolutely enraptured by it and she wanted it in her mouth, now!

"Let me taste you!" She beseeched, being torn between his cock and his kisses, but her desire for his cock now unreal as she went down on her knees, wasting no time as she opened her mouth and took in the tip. She swirled her tongue around it, tasting his precum and seeing that he had a lot more of it than she was used to but she didn't mind it being so preoccupied with his magnificent cock and tried to take in more, barely able to get her mouth around the head but she was no quitter, spreading her jaw as wide as she could to get it in; licking and sucking it like her favorite lollipop!

She continued for a few minutes, him getting so caught up that he was almost as loud as she was when he ate her. This was by far the best head he'd ever gotten. Ever. But the way she moaned so sexy while she blew him, something that made Nick go crazy with lust for her, apparently had the exact same effect on Manny and he couldn't take it anymore. He had to have her right now and he bent over to her, kissing her lips hungrily before he pulled her up and continued to devour them while their hands roamed each others bodies, grabbing everywhere they could reach. Kissing and nipping everywhere until he lifted her up with his strong arms and held her around the waist as they kissed and he very ungently lined up his cock to her vagina, teasing her lips before he basically impaled her and began thrusting hard and fast, giving her no time to adjust!

She had definite shock on her face, and no sound would emit from her as she had tears in her eyes at the size of him but God, even with the stretching her body was doing to accommodate him, he felt so fucking good that she let the tears flow as she found her voice and began spewing a litany of _Oh My Gods!_ Being able to say nothing more!

They eventually took it from the bathroom to his bedroom, barely reaching the bed fully as he bent her over it and continued to fuck her. He fucked her so good, in so many positions and had her screaming so loud, he was surprised that no one called the police, especially with every _damn you,_ _motherfucker, sonofabitch_ and _bastard_ that came out of her mouth, and there were a lot of them.

By the time they finished, she was having her maybe fifth multiple orgasm and cursing him to hell and back while he came for a final time with her and in her. It was a hot finish to an even hotter time and by the time he pulled out and rolled over, spent and both so satisfied. She just lay there; too tired, too satiated, too sore to move but they both had huge smiles on their faces.

"Oh my god!" She breathed hard. She was a sweaty, disheveled, cum soaked mess as was he, except he had several marks and scratches but Jesus the satisfaction that flowed through the air coupled with the smell of hours of sex was real!

"That was insane!" He hadn't bothered with the sheets, as they were now soaked from her coming repeatedly and they both lay there, naked and breathing hard.

"If you ever, EVER tell anyone about this, I will personally hunt you down and kill you!" She said and he laughed but she got serious as she used the last ounce of strength she had to prop herself up on her elbow and look down at him. "So help me god I will!" And she let herself fall back onto the mattress, wanting so bad to indulge in a long nap but knowing she had to be to work in less than an hour. She turned over, kissing Manny full on the lips before she forced herself to get up, Manny slapping her naked ass as she walked away smiling to her bathroom, but feeling so damn guilty at the same time.

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 **Better? Lmao!**


	7. Guilt

**Chapter 7**

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Taking a long, hot shower and she cried the whole time. As she washed her body, as she washed her hair, all she could think of was how she'd betrayed Nick!

Forget that the sex she'd just had was incredible. She didn't really have time to let it register; the guilt consumed her just that fast and now, she was a mess! "How could I let this happen?" She asked herself over and over, hoping for an answer but not able to come up with one. The truth is, she had no justification for what she did other than she let her pussy do the thinking when it should have been her head!

...

As she later stood in front of the mirror, blow drying her hair, she could hardly look at herself and the tears continued to flow. How could Emmanuel just be in there sleeping like nothing's wrong when she's here, going through hell now because of what they'd done? She put the blow dryer away and wiped her eyes for what she thought would be the final time and she forced herself to look at herself in the mirror.

Immediately, the tears started again and she looked away. _How could you have done this? It not like you were starved for attention, or lacking something in the bedroom!_ She said to herself, fully knowing that she wasn't.

" _You got greedy, Liv!"_ She heard a voice say. " _Tell me, was it worth it?"_

* * *

On the elevator ride up to Nick's squad room, she couldn't help still feeling incredibly guilty. Manny had given her the fuck of her life and she was more than willing to go along with it but all in all, she loved Nick and the regret had begun seeping in the moment she came down from her sex-high!

 _As soon as she left his room, she hurried to her own, practically running to the shower to wash off the reminders of what she'd; what they'd just done. And as she stood under the hot water, imagining what Manny had done to her right here in this shower; she ran her hands through her sweat-soaked hair and froze! She saw herself standing against that wall while he ate her out, saw herself and how she enjoyed it, him kissing and feeling her body so roughly and all she did was beg him:_

" _Please don't mark me; please!" That was all she could say as she headed into undeniable sin with Manny. "don't mark me…" She knew even then that she shouldn't be doing it, that if Nick found so much as a scratch out of place on her body that the jig would be up, that she'd be caught, Manny would be caught, Nick would be heartbroken and she didn't want to think about the rest. So no, please don't mark her; please, though she surely marked him! She sucked and pulled him; even bit and scratched when feeling him became too much which was often! His size was ridiculous and he did not go easy on her, not that she wanted him to. She insisted that he go harder, go deeper, to grab her this way and that; not that she needed to tell him! He was skilled beyond measure and insatiable…_

" _Oh god, what have you done?!" She thought too late._

That was her first time thinking it and she hadn't stopped thinking it since. She lied to Nick and like some kind of slut, she readily spread her legs to another!

She and Nick, they really did have a perfect relationship, she didn't question that, they both loved and respected one another's thoughts and actions and views, even if they didn't necessarily agree with them and their sex life was a serious blessing, hell, she's going to marry him in 15 days, so why did she do it? Why did she let a moment of weakness, and it was weakness, take over? _How could I cheat on the man I love, and with his own brother?_

"What are you doing here? This is a surprise!" Nick said, happy to see her and planting a kiss to her lips. The same lips that Manny had kissed not long ago. The same lips that were on his dick, enjoying it.

 _...she went down on her knees, wasting no time as she opened her mouth and took in the tip. She swirled her tongue around it…tried to take in more, barely able to get her mouth around the head but she was no quitter, spreading her jaw as wide as she could to get it in; licking and sucking it like her favorite lollipop!_

She quickly shook off the memory. "I uh- I came to bring you lunch." She said and pulled away, already too ashamed to even look him in the eye. Luckily he knew how she was a bit apprehensive about showing affection at work so he didn't think her behavior weird.

"Ah, thanks Mami!"

" _Spread your legs Mami...that's right baby, open up that pussy for me!"_

She felt horrible.

"I'm already running late so I gotta go!"

"You just got here." He said, wishing he had more time with her as he walked her to the elevators and she tried desperately not to limp but she was really feeling the effects of what she'd done.

"I know, and I'm sorry." She apologized, for more than he knew.

"Baby, It's okay, alright? Kiss Zara for me."

"I will."

"Unfortunately I don't know when I'll be home, but I'm still holding that promise I made; Sunday."

"Okay." She said in a whisper. He wasn't expecting that she would come at him and hug him so tight, burying her face in his neck and letting off a few tears but when she did, he was surprised considering where they were but he didn't hesitate and quickly just held her. Had Manny told her about the setup?

"Hey…" He said to her. He was confused by her behavior and a bit worried. "Qué está mal?" She turned to him, her heart breaking while her eyes looked for somewhere to focus, she just couldn't bear to look at him. "estas bien?" He asked as he took her hand.

"I'm fine." She forced a slight smile. "I'm just; my nerves are a little jumpy is all."

"Pre wedding jitters?"

"Something like that. I'd better get to work." She said and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I love you!" She said with tears in her eyes.

* * *

Work was a blur. The day was slow, thank god, that meant no chasing down bad guys but she did have to go to the hospital to check on the two little girls they removed from their home last night. ACS would be putting the girls in foster care when they were strong enough but Olivia had to make sure they were okay and so she took Amanda with her to St. Vincent's hospital.

After visiting with the girls and going over some things with their ACS worker, she and Amanda were waiting for the elevator, she totally not paying attention to what Amanda was saying.

" _Oh God! Manny….FUCK!" She screamed, face down in front of him and feeling like she would split in half with the intensity he was fucking her with. It was sheer, and utter abandon as he had her hair wrapped in his fist and pummeled her hard and fast._

" _Don't stop...oh my god don't stop!" She cried. She felt pain but the other side of that pain, it felt so good, especially with the way his balls were slapping her cli…_

"Where are you?" Amanda asked.

"I'm sorry." She said, again feeling guilty that she had been thinking about it. "What were you saying?"

"I'll tell you in the elevator." She said as it opened and they stepped into the car. "Is there somethin wrong?"

"What? Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, you're just a little...preoccupied today." She said, the elevator doors closing as Olivia looked straight ahead.

"I'm fine."

* * *

She was thankful. After a day with not much to do, having already visited the girls, she got off work fairly early and had just enough time to have a drink with Casey before she drove to the Bronx to pick up Zara.

"Cranberry club soda, please." She told the waiter.

"You're not drinking?" Casey asked as she showed up and kissed Liv on the cheek.

"I'm driving"

"Well I am not! I'll take a double grapefruitini!" She told the waiter then when he was gone… "Okay spill it. What was so important that I had to hurry?" She said, eating from the bowl of cashews in front of them.

"I um, I sorta fucked Manny!" Casey started to choke on the nut, Olivia patting her back, quickly dislodging it before it had a chance to do any real damage, the two of them getting looks from everyone inside. "It's okay, she's fine!" Olivia yelled to the onlookers.

"I'm fine, thanks!" Casey repeated, the patrons being satisfied and returning to what they were caught up in as Casey dropped the nut into a napkin then said in a quiet voice as much as she could: "Who are you, and what have you done with Liv? And what do you mean you "sorta fucked him"?

"I mean I sorta...oh god, Case, I fucked him! Well he fucked me but… I feel terrible!" She confessed, her head in her hands.

"Was it bad?" Casey asked as their drinks arrived.

"Courtesy of the two gentlemen at the bar." The waiter said pointing them out. Casey and Olivia smiled before they turned back to the conversation.

"So…?" Casey continued, eager for details. She couldn't believe that her best friend, Olivia Benson who never even remotely stepped out of line...well there was that time in Vegas, but… She was sitting here telling Casey that she not only cheated on her fiance, but with his younger brother? An explosion couldn't get Casey to move right now!

"No. Damnit!" She said sounding regretful.

"Okay, why do you sound like this was the worst thing you've ever done?"

"Because hello? I cheated on Nick...god, I couldn't even hold out for two days; as soon as we were alone I lost myself. He came onto me and I lost it! Next thing I know, we're wet and-"

"Wet? What?"

"I tried to back off the whole thing and went to take a shower...he followed me and that's where it got crazy. Casey, I don't know what I was thinking!"

"Oh; I can think of a few things!" She said, laughing as she sipped her drink. Olivia just sat there, staring at her and wondering why she even bothered to tell her any of this.

"Do you remember yesterday, when I told you that you make me angry enough to wanna slap you sometimes?"

"Aw, don't get your panties in a twist. Look, you experimented okay, it's over- wait, it is over isn't it?"

"It is _so_ over; you have no idea!"

"Good." She added but Olivia was way down, tears in her eyes and she sat with her head down stirring her drink. Casey's emotions got the better of her and she put the jokes aside. "I know that you love Nick, okay, Liv you had a moment of weakness-"

"I fucked up...I fucked up in our home! I lied to Nick, I betrayed his trust in me and for what? 3 hours and a limp!

"A lim-? Okay." Casey said, incredibly curious for details but knowing that now was just not the right time. So with everything in her, she got herself under control though it wasn't easy; the freak in her just dying to know more. "Okay, in the spirit of our friendship, I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that." She made a mental note to ask questions when Olivia wasn't so upset.

"I feel like the only way to fix this is to go to Nick and tell him the truth. But if I do that, then I make problems for he and Emmanuel and I can't be responsible for that!"

"Listen to me. You do not tell Nick okay? Maybe it's good that he's working this murder investigation, it'll give you guys some time apart so you can get your head on right; Liv, you don't wanna do this! You and Nick will be fine, it was a mistake."

'"Case-"

"Liv please. If you've never trusted me before, trust me now. Get Manny into a hotel and let this blow over. I promise, you'll be better for it!"

* * *

 **One month later...**

"Hey, Mrs. Amaro, baby you're gonna be late!" Nick called to her from where she was in their bathroom. "Liv?" He knocked. Sounds of water running from the sink could be heard but he strained to hear anything else.

"I'll be out in a minute." She said. She needed to get rid of him and so... "Baby, I'm sorry, I know that I said I didn't want anything but I'm hungry. Could you get me some toast and a" She gagged on the next part but held it together. "...scrambled egg?"

"You sure?"

No. She wasn't sure, didn't want it at all but she had to distract him from paying attention to her and so she said the first thing that popped in her head. "Yeah, and bacon. I'll be out soon." She said, just wanting him out.

"Alright. I love you you!"

"I love you too, now go, I'm starving!" She lied, wanting to throw up again as she spoke. He grinned before he left and she sat listening as he walked off and out of the room.

In the bathroom, she was scared to death as she blew out a nervous breath; her stomach in absolute knots as she wiped away tears that escaped her eyes before she picked up the stick.

After steeling herself, she turned it over and look at it, her eyes drawn to the window that held the result and was stunned to tears as she covered her mouth so that she wouldn't let off a sound and alert Nick. There was a plus and negative sign in the test window, what the hell did that mean?

* * *

Later that day at her OB/GYN, she sat on the exam table in a gown, fidgeting nervously with her hands while she waited for the doctor to return with her test results. She wasn't a praying woman but she'd prayed since the moment two nights ago when she'd gotten up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach and had thrown up. She checked her menstrual calendar and it was right there in bold print; she had been ovulating around the time she'd slept with Manny and ironically, she'd made love to Nick just the day before and then... She sat alone in that bathroom panicking that night, thankful that Nick wasn't home and from the moment she set foot in that pharmacy to pick up a pregnancy test, she'd practically become religious!

Now, sitting here waiting on these results, she prayed even more fervently. She couldn't be pregnant, that's what she'd told herself these last two days and she needed it to be true. It's not that she didn't want to be carrying Nick's baby; she'd wanted nothing _but_ to have his baby, to feel his child growing inside her but if the calendar was right, if she had in fact conceived a month ago…

"Stop it… You're not pregnant!" She told herself. "That's why the test was confused; you're not…"

"Olivia, so sorry for the long wait. I got caught up on a phone call." The doctor said as she entered the room and took a seat by the exam table.

"No, it's okay…" She nervously responded but tried to remain calm as she spoke. "So do you have…?"

"I have your results right here." She said as Olivia let out a nervous breath. "Congratulations." She smiled as Olivia took on a look of despair. "According to your hormone levels, I'd say you're about a month..."

Olivia threw her hands through her hair and taking deep breaths, blocking out what the doctor said from that point on. She thought she'd throw up from becoming suddenly nauseous; she wanted to scream and she suddenly felt dizzy! This couldn't be happening!

* * *

 **Maybe another chapter, we'll see. In the meantime. Reviews would be very nice.**


	8. The Other Side Of The Story

**Here's chapter 8. Enjoy.**

* * *

.

He sat all day thinking of her, but then it had been that way every day of the past month! He didn't know what it was but Olivia, the hold she had on him, it was like a spell. All he wanted was her, to touch and feel her, to have her again, moaning beneath him - damn why couldn't he break these thoughts? These desires?

He had come in from his run that afternoon, in nothing but a pair of shorts and his sneakers. He usually loved it when all attention was on him, the ladies practically throwing pussy his way but this past month he'd barely even looked at them. He'd fucked one or two when the urge hit. Shit, when he came back in town for the wedding, that night he'd nearly fucked some poor girl comatose!

It had gotten so bad that he nearly lost it when he came back for the wedding. Olivia wouldn't say much to him, he'd guessed she had some bad feelings about their last encounter but that fascination was still there on his part and it hurt him to see her marry Nick. He'd never been jealous of his brother but this time he couldn't help it. Olivia was an incredible woman. Sensuous and beautiful, and if he coveted his brother's woman he didn't regret it. He remembered when he went to congratulate her and his brother on their nuptials, he almost kissed her lips but she turned her head and he got her cheek but God, he wanted those lips. He wanted all of her. But instead, he left, gave Nick some excuse about having to catch the red eye back to Miami and he left. Met some chick in his hotel, went up to her room, fucked her until she passed out and then he left. Caught an earlier flight back and hasn't been back to New York since.

He wondered if Olivia still thought about him.

* * *

Olivia chose to walk back to the precinct from her doctor's office, just needing the fresh air and she cut through Union Square Park on her way back. She thought of what had brought her here and what this meant, and when she thought of the ramifications, it was all she could do to not break down in public!

" _I can't have this baby!" Was all that was going through her head. "I cannot have it!"_

" _Olivia?"_

" _What did I do?" She said with her eyes full of tears. "I can't… I just can't!"_

" _Olivia, with your endometriosis, it's a wonder that you even got pregnant, honey we've talked about this and you knew the chances were very slim. This is basically a miracle and I'm just worried that this may be your last chance to conceive!"_

The doctor didn't pull any punches and Olivia left there with so much on her mind. She couldn't have this baby. Just the thought that it might be Manny's made her ill, but what if it was Nick's and she aborted it? Being about a month left room to wonder. She had been with Nick practically every day before she ever touched Manny; before he ever touched her. The probability that he got her pregnant one of those two times, it had to be small considering how many times she and Nick had-

" _But what if it's not, what if Manny-"_ She got that feeling in her stomach and ran a few feet, leaning over a garbage can and vomited at the thought.

"You alright miss?" A young boy of about 15 asked her. She coughed and threw up again before she answered him.

"I'm fine." But she didn't look fine, she looked anything but fine.

"You sure?"

"Yes, thank you." She said as she somewhat straightened up.

"Here" he said as he took off his backpack and grabbed a bottle of water from it. "It's not open, I promise."

She looked at the boy with tears in her eyes. "Thank you." She said as she took the water from him with a smile.

"No problem, take care!" He said before he kept going and walked off as she opened the bottle and rinsed her mouth before taking a few sips and she sat down, thinking about that morning.

 _When she and Casey said their goodbyes and went their separate ways after leaving the bar, she went straight to get Zara from her grandmother and then they went home, she intending that she would tell Emmanuel that he needed to go and she was firmly resolved but when they arrived, he wasn't there._

 _After she made dinner for the two of them, letting Zara convince her that they should eat in front of the TV._

" _How about since daddy's not home, you sleep in our bed?" She said to the child, Zara immediately getting happy. After dinner, she gave her a bath and they finished the movie, mainly talking until Zara fell asleep. It was just after 9 o'clock when she got Zara down and took her own bath and still thinking about how she cheated on Nick. She had a good cry while she soaked, thankful at the hot water, that it eased away the soreness that she was feeling and after a while she climbed out and dressed for bed in her sleep shirt, going straight to bed and curling up with Zara, crying herself into a deep sleep and waking up the next morning before five._

 _After drinking a cup of coffee during which she stood at the counter, her mind no clearer but she knew that Casey had the right idea, she had to tell Manny to go and she knew that beyond a doubt._

 _She poured the remainder of her coffee out and left the mug in the sink before she went into the guest bedroom and started to clean up. She noticed when she got home last night that the room was still in disarray, especially the bed. He hadn't touched it since she left it yesterday and looking at it, she got bad memories all over again and quickly stripped the bed, putting the linens in the wash and making the bed with fresh ones. She was putting the last pillow on the bed when Manny came in and frightened her._

" _Where's Nick." When she heard him, she jumped and turned around to face him._

" _Jesus Emmanuel, you scared the shit out of me…! He's at work!" She said, trying to catch her breath._

" _Emmanuel?" He shook his head. "I think we can be just a little more friendly, don't you?" He said as he got very close and squeezed her ass with both hands._

" _Dont!" She scolded as she broke free of his hold and walked away from him._

" _Is this where we are?"_

" _We had sex and I realize now that we shouldn't have." She said and he came closer as she tried to move away._

" _You don't mean that!" His mouth was dangerously close to hers. "I thought about you. I kept hearing your little screams and moans all night and I got so hot. It wasn't a good look for me doing business."_

" _Sorry. Now if you'll excuse me-"_

" _You look so good right now!" He went in for a kiss but she quickly turned her head and he caught her neck instead._

" _Manny stop it!" She tried to push him away, but it only made him push closer, his hands roaming her body, touching her breasts. "Manny...Manny I mean it, don't!" She said, trying to keep her voice down so she didn't wake Zara but he was determined._

" _Come on, don't be like that!"_

" _Please move." She said, pushing his hands away from her._

" _You don't want me to move." He smiled._

" _Yes I do, please!" He suddenly picked her up by her waist. "Stop it!" She said as she tried to get his hands off her, to try to make him put her down but she didn't count on how strong he'd be and when she couldn't, she panicked as he grabbed her head and began kissing her as she beat her hands against his chest_

" _I love it when you play hard to get!" He grinned, thinking this was a game._

" _Manny stop it!" She tried to hit him in the face but he caught one of her hands, unknowingly twisting painfully it behind her back and holding it there, causing her to yelp in pain as he sat her on the dresser and undid his pants. "Please don't; please!" He quickly pushed into her and she opened her mouth, attempting to scream._

" _Shhh! You don't wanna wake Zara!" He said as her held her other arm down and began thrusting hard. He didn't understand that he was hurting her, causing so much pain that tears fell from her eyes._

" _You're hurting me!" She cried, letting off an agonizing moan when he slammed against her cervix._

" _Just take me, just like yesterday, you know you want it!" He said in her ear as he continued fucking her!_

...

 _Later, after he came and pulled out, she pulled her sleep shirt down over her hips as she closed her legs. She was basically in shock; simply unable to believe what had just happened to her._

" _Did you enjoy us love?" He said and went to kiss her mouth._

" _Get out of my house!" She said near a whisper._

" _What?"_

" _Get out of my house you bastard!" She said louder._

" _Liv…" He went to touch her._

" _Get out!" She screamed._

" _What did I do? ...mami"_

" _GET OUT YOU SON OF BITCH...GET OUT!" She screamed, crying hysterically and threw the closest thing to her, a mug at him, hitting him on the side of his head and drawing blood. He touched his hand to his head and came away with blood on his fingers before he looked at her for a moment, hurt in his eyes and wondering what he did wrong but quickly decided to get his bags from the closet and leave with her obviously hysterical. When she heard the front door close and she knew he was gone, she got down from the dresser and fell to the floor in serious pain, blood running down her thighs and she pulled herself up and limped into her bedroom, easing past Zara who was thankfully still asleep and she went into her bathroom and got into the shower, sinking to the floor as the water rained down on her and she cried._

Coming back to the present, she wiped her eyes, touching her stomach. "What am I gonna do?"

* * *

 **I stop at 10! And for those of you reading, update to "Anytime, Anyplace..." coming soon!**


	9. A Not-So-Easy Decision

**Chapter 9.**

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.

After a long day at the precinct, she dragged herself in the house, tired and in a horrible mood. She really didn't mean to be and she especially hated to take that mood out on everybody at work but she was just so floored, still at the news! She thought for sure that when she took the pregnancy test at home that it would tell her that everything was okay, that she wasn't pregnant and that she and Nick could continue moving on with their lives but that wasn't to be. Instead, she finds out that not only is she pregnant and it may be Manny's but it's pretty much her miracle baby only how could this be a miracle?

If she decided to keep the pregnancy, she'd either need a DNA test, which would lead to her having to tell Nick the truth and have him hate her for lying to him and betraying him with his brother. Forget about the rape, which she was trying to do anyway but she would have to bring Manny in on this. She'd have to test him, to have contact with him and she felt sick at even the thought! Just having to see him at her wedding made her ill and it was all she could do to not knock the hell out of him when he came to congratulate she and Nick, and kissed her cheek; though if she hadn't moved her head, the bastard would've caught her lips!

Her only other options would be to either not pursue the test at all if she did keep this baby; something she couldn't even think about right now. Or just not have it. Nick knows about her endometriosis, he knows that it's been a real challenge for her to get pregnant even though he's wanted it so bad, for so long; they both have. She's dreamed of being able to give him a child one day and now, here it is. This baby could very well be his, they could finally be getting their wish, and when she thought about that, she wondered how she would be able to terminate this pregnancy?

" _If an abortion is what you want then I'll support that decision. You know that I'm not just your doctor Olivia, I've been you friend for a long time. But you need to be sure that this is what you want. I just, I know how you've wanted this for a long time…"_

She wiped her eyes before she let herself into the apartment. Stopping in the hall to put away her bag before she walked into the living room, starting to call Nick but then deciding she'd best be quiet in case Zara was asleep.

"Hey." Came from Denise, Zara's sitter who was on the couch with a book she was reading in her hands.

"Hey. She asleep?"

"She is, went down about 8, we had a pretty big day today! You okay? You look like you've been crying."

"Oh, no, I'm just tired. It's been a long day."

"Well, I won't keep you up then, I'll see you on Monday."

"Get home safe." She said and went with her to lock the door, after which she went to Zara's room and kissed her before she went into her own and started to undress, first removing her gun, badge and cuffs and putting the gun in the lockbox on the dresser before she stripped off her clothes and when she got down to her underwear, she went to the mirror to look at herself.

She didn't even look pregnant, thank god; her stomach still as flat as it had been but she couldn't resist putting her hand over it; turning sideways in the mirror and running her hand up and down the length of it. While doing that, she imagined if she kept the baby and told Nick, how happy he would be! She imagined him lovingly caressing her non existent belly, already loving the life inside of it and she smiled. _This baby is everything we've dreamed of._ She thought to herself and she wished that everything could go back just a month; she never would have given into Manny and this wouldn't be an issue. This baby would be Nick's beyond a shadow of a doubt! She'd tell him and they'd be so happy about it, and Zara. She'd wanted a baby brother or sister for so long and they'd promised her that they'd try. Again she asked herself, _what if Nick is the father?_

As she was in the mirror, Nick wandered in and surprised her from her thoughts, coming up behind her and putting his arms around her, wrapping her up. She melted into his touch, feeling like every problem just disappeared when she was in his arms like this, and immediately turned her head to kiss his beautiful mouth.

"Now _this,_ is what I like coming home to." He smiled and kissed her again before he asked. "What are you doing?"

"Just imagining how I'd look if I were pregnant." She said before she could catch herself. _What the hell was that, Olivia?!_

"I'm having a whole lot of faith that it'll happen." He said as he nuzzled her cheek. "God's listening, I believe that enough for all three of us. We'll have our baby, don't worry!"

God she loved this man so fucking much! And right now, even more so than usual, she hated herself for what she'd done to him. Hated that she'd allowed another man to touch her, to have her body in ways that only Nick should have. Casey told her to forget about it but how could she? She did this, and it's haunted her every day of the last month. She had even managed to put the rape out of her mind until she began wondering two nights ago if maybe she might be pregnant. She felt that if she hadn't opened that first door and given herself to him, he wouldn't have felt that he had the right… And when she thinks of how he showed up at the wedding two weeks later like nothing was wrong; she understood then that he didn't think he had anything to be sorry for. He didn't understand that what he did to her was rape and that made her crazy!

She turned to Nick, and hugged him so tight. "One day, I know." She said and thought for a brief second how much he'd love this baby if he knew but she quickly put it out of her mind. "I've missed you!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhm, just five minutes later and I would've been naked in the tub!" She told him as she held on to his strong arms that were locked around her waist. His arms were her sanctuary.

"Damn!" He playfully joked then kissed her sweetly. "Hi."

"Hi." and he kissed her again, this time much more passionate.

"Too tired?" He said with a mouth full of her.

"Never."

"Good. Come here!" He said, unhooking her bra. In seconds it was on the floor and his mouth was all over her breasts, kissing and sucking while she tore apart the buttons on his shirt.

"Oh god, keep, just…" His mouth went over her breast, roughly kissing it and then biting her nipple before he sucked it into his mouth, she thought she'd die from pleasure, muting the cry that wanted so desperately wanted to fall from her lips. She had to have him now. She needed him to wash away this day for her and she wasn't shy in telling him.

"Fuck, me! Right now, please baby!" She said and opened her mouth to kiss him deep, nearly devouring his tongue as he backed her to the bed and pushed her down, taking a moment to stand up and remove his open shirt then took his gun and cuffs from his waist and put them down on the nightstand while she hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her panties and peeled them off, raising her legs to get them down to her feet, then kicked them off across the room. Nick came down and kissed her lips before he kissed his way down her body; her neck and breasts before he began kissing her stomach.

She closed her eyes, reminding herself that he didn't know about the baby and she quickly reached for him, pulling him up. "I need you now baby!" She said and he kissed her.

"And I need to taste this pussy!" He said as he kissed her, pushing his finger into her as he did and hit her g-spot. She moaned into his mouth, bucking her hips as he smiled and again kissed his way down, this time getting to her core much faster, sliding in another finger to which she hissed. He began kissing her mound before he spread her lips and gave her clit a long, slow, deliberate lap with his tongue before he pulled it into his mouth and sucked it hard, burying his face in her pussy while his fingers slowly worked her spot.

"Oh my god!" She cried, squeezing her eyes shut and fisting the sheets above her head. "Nicolasss!" She sighed.

"I got you baby!" He said then quickly went back to making her cum! She arched her back, he felt so good to her, for a moment, she forgot about her troubles and there was only this. After he ate her until she literally couldn't take more, he climbed on top of her, and again spread her legs. She could feel the weight of his cock pressing against her as he kissed her before he sat up and took his member in his hand, lining it with her slit and rubbed her still sensitive and swollen clit with the head before he pushed it deep inside her, filling her with him.

...

They made love all night, him taking her until she was finally worn out and afterwards, she lay in his arms, her head on his chest and tears in her eyes. _I can't do it! I can't abort this baby. This is it, I know it's the only chance I'll have; that we'll have!_ She thought and let her tears fall, Nick feeling them run down his chest and immediately asked...

"Hey" He called softly as he kissed her head. "me habla, qué ocurre?"

"It's nothing."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because I went to the doctor today."

He felt his heart drop, thinking there was something wrong with her. "Mami, look at me." He said, so scared as he gently held her face and turned her head up to look at him. "Baby, are you sick?"

"Only for a little while I hope" She said and sat up. "Nick, I'm gonna have a baby!"

"You're go- mami?" He said as he sat up. He was shocked and thought he was dreaming, but when he looked at her face, and saw that it was real, that she was serious, it was all he could do to not pass out! "Oh my god...oh my god!" He said with tears in his eyes; they quickly made their way down his face but he didn't care, not when his wife, the woman he loved more than anything had just told him that after trying for so long, god had heard them, that they were having the baby that they'd both wanted for so long, it was finally a reality. He dropped his head to her stomach and touched it so lovingly. "We're gonna have a baby?"

"I have to-"

"My god, are you sure?" He was over the moon as he caressed her face.

"I'm- I'm sure." She said "but Nick, I have to-" but there she was, interrupted again and she couldn't blame him, he was so excited, he couldn't help himself.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you right now; the both of you? Oh my god, what if it's twins?

"Baby-" She called to him as she started to cry and thinking that it was probably in her head, it was so low and she called to him louder. "Nick-"

"I don't care though! My god, mami, are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?" and before she could answer…

"Liv? Mami!" He called softly to her as she lay on his chest and she, coming out of her imagination about their perfect life… "why are you crying?"

"...just thinking about my life before you and how I would never have imagined you." She said as her tears dropped and she looked up at him. "Nick, promise me that no matter what, you'll remember that I love you more than anything!"

Without hesitation, "Of course I know you love me!" He said and wiped her tears. "just like you know that I love you babe! Two weeks ago when I took you as my wife, just like I did two years ago; I promised you that we're forever and I meant it! You never have to worry that it won't always be this way, you hear me?"

"I hear you!" She snuggled against him as she planted kisses to his chest and then his mouth. She had a lot to think about but she decided to push everything out of her mind and focus on him. Though she was pretty sure at this point that she would be keeping the baby, she needed time to tell him and until she could work up the nerve to do that she'd keep it to herself she thought as she raised her hips that were spread across him and slowly lowered herself onto his his hard cock. There, stomach to stomach, she began to move against him as they kissed, her tears steadily falling.

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 **You know what I hate? I hate that I already wrote (pretty much) chapter 10 and I'm nowhere near done with this story! Anyway, please vote and comment, let me know how I'm doing. See y'all soon.**


	10. A Slip Of The Tongue

**Chapter 10**

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 **.**

 **1 week later…**

"I'm pregnant!" Olivia announced then continued eating her salad as Casey did a double take and had to shake her head to make sure that her ears heard right.

"What did you say?"

"I'm pregnant."

"OH MY GOD!" She yelled and Olivia immediately shushed her. "Oh my god!" Casey exclaimed much lower this time but her excitement was still at shout-level. "That's what I thought you said. Is it me or are you not excited about this? Why aren't you more excited about this?"

"I am excited; I want to be."

"Then?"

"Case, I'm a month along." She said with a mouth full of salad.

"What does tha- oh fuck! Liv, tell me this isn't Manny's baby!?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Didn't you use protection?" But all she got was silence. "Oh god! Liv, what the hell were you thinking?!"

"It's not that simple, Case…" She said quietly.

"Okay, what does that even mean? Better yet, why do I get the feeling that there's more to this?" When she got silence again, she knew that there was and immediately called her on it. "Liv, what aren't you telling me?"

Olivia sat there and after a moment, when she was about to speak, her phone rang and she was so thankful when she looked at the screen and saw that it was Cragen. "I gotta take this!" She halfheartedly apologized. "Yeah Captain? ...where? Yes; I'm on my way...okay." And she hung up the phone.

"I gotta go." She said to Casey.

"Now? Liv, what are you going to do?"

"You mean other than deciding how I'm gonna tell Nick? I don't know, but I've thought about it, and I'm keeping it."

"You think that's wise?"

"Case, you know how hard I've tried to get pregnant; I didn't think it would happen and now...look I gotta go!" She said as she got up and kissed Casey on the cheek. But Casey could tell that her friend was holding something back and it bothered her to let Olivia go like this even though she didn't have a choice.

"Olivia, call me!"

"I will." She said and left.

* * *

What followed was a hard 2 days where they worked the case of twin little girls who at 5, went missing from a shopping mall in Yonkers. When they found one of them, she had been raped and murdered by a janitor, strangled and her body thrown into a shallow grave in the woods left to rot and all of the detectives, especially Olivia, felt like crying. She had always had a soft spot when it came to children but since becoming a stepmom to her own little one and now having gotten pregnant, something she never thought she'd be doing, her mind immediately went to Zara and the baby that was now five weeks in her belly and she wondered how she would ever be able to keep them safe in such a world.

The cops from Yonkers needed the Manhattan SVU; the man they were looking for who they strongly suspected of committing this crime had disappeared and they had all reason to believe that he was in their city. They needed to find the second of the little girls and prayed that she would still be alive when they did.

With pictures in hand, and no clues on his whereabouts, the detectives began their search. Surprisingly, thanks to some helpful people on the street and neighbors who were more than eager to help, they caught the guy hiding out in a construction site in a midtown neighborhood. Since it was the weekend he didn't worry about being caught and they found the little girl, but she was dead by the time they got to her. Strangled mere minutes earlier and being put into a wall!

* * *

When she got home that night, after the sitter left, she went to Zara's room and planted a million kisses on the sleeping child; imagining those little girls as she did. Their mother probably gave them a ton of kisses each night and now she has no one. She wiped her tears and whispered in Zara's ear how much she loved her before finally retreating to she and Nick's bedroom where she stripped and jumped into the shower, determined to wash the last two days away.

Thinking about how lucky they were as she thought about Zara and touched her stomach; maybe Casey was right. Maybe she should forget about the possibility of Manny as much as it pained her and just focus on the blessing she has. There's was no reason that she shouldn't tell Nick about the baby. She already decided that she's having it but at the same time, there he was in the back of her mind. But if this baby turned out to be Manny's, there's no real way, even with DNA, to tell unless she specifically told the doctor the situation and they began looking for special markers to determine paternity but did she really want to know?

...

After she showered and dried her hair, she put on her pajamas and went to lay with Zara. She just couldn't take her mind off those girls and needed to be close to her own baby. Slipping in the room and without waking her, she climbed in bed with her and snuggled up, just thinking that if this all blew up in her face, she'd lose this little girl and that wasn't something she would ever be prepared for. She'd been a part of Zara's life since she was three, and these last two years they had grown so close, even before she and Nick disclosed to everyone about their relationship. She couldn't imagine not having her to wake up to every day and as she stroked Zara's long, beautiful hair, she felt tears drop.

 _Why didn't you think about any of this before?_ She wondered and she knew why; if she thought that she could get pregnant, maybe she wouldn't have slept with him from the get go. Maybe she would have insisted that Manny wear a condom and not cum inside her but dammit, she'd been having sex since she was 16, and plenty of times without a condom and there was only a pregnancy scare that one time in college but that turned out to be nothing, so why now? Why of all the times in the world for her to get pregnant did it have to happen now when she and Nick were trying and ironically, she slept with his brother around the time she was ovulating?

Suddenly, she didn't feel much like lying in the bed with Zara and she got up and shut the door, heading into the kitchen suddenly feeling hungry, but as she was passing by the closed door to the guest room, she didn't know why. She hadn't gone into that room since that morning, but for some reason, standing here, she put her hand on the knob and slowly opened the door, going in.

She'd gotten maybe two feet into the dark room when a chill went up her back!

 _"Shhh! You don't wanna wake Zara!" He said as her held her other arm down and began thrusting hard inside her. He didn't understand that he was hurting her, causing so much pain that tears fell from her eyes._

 _"You're hurting me!" She cried, letting off an agonizing moan when he slammed against her cervix._

 _"Just take me, just like yesterday, you know you want it!" He said in her ear as he continued fucking her._

She quickly shook the thought away and felt her stomach through the fabric of her silk pajamas. _It has to be Nick's, it just has to be!_ So busy thinking about Nick that she didn't hear him come in the front door, or call to her before he got to the room.

"There you are, didn't you hear me call you?" He said as he pecked her lips. "Are you okay?" He said as he took her in his arms. He'd known that they were looking for this guy and when she'd called him at the job to tell him that they'd found him and the little girl's body, he knew that she wouldn't be okay in spite of her "I'm fine" rhetoric.

"I'm just glad you're home!" She said in tears, the fact that they were still in this room definitely not lost on her.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I'm all talked out, can you just please make me forget, at least for now? That's what I need more than anything!"

"You sure that's what you want?"

"I'm sure...oh god I need you!" She uttered breathlessly as they kissed and he unbuttoned her shirt as he kicked the door shut and began backing her into the bed.

"Baby…" A protest started to leave her mouth, she needed to leave that room but when he opened her shirt and his mouth was on her neck and then her nipples, it felt so good that she just moaned as they went down on the mattress.

...

Fucking. Not lovemaking. Fucking. He's fucking her hard. He's fucking her deep. He's fucking her like he owns her and though she's going to lose her mind from the unbelievable penetration he's giving; she loves it! He's behind her, and it takes everything in her to not scream loud enough to wake Zara!

" _Niiiiick!"_

"I know baby!" He says as he rocks deeper into her, hitting her spot so hard that she collapses beneath him, gripping the sheets but he continues; driving into her at a slow, delicious, yet tortuous pace. It's his intention to fuck her until she can't take him and begs him to withdraw and it looks like he's well on his way to completing that mission!

" _Oh shit!"_ She cries, face down, into the pillow. How can anything feel so deliciously, painfully good?

"Put your ass back up!" He smiles and demands, rolling his hips into her and she cries out.

" _Please baby!"_

"Put your ass back up!" When she does, when she manages with all the concentration in the world, he goes hard and she lasts about 10 seconds before she collapses again screaming _Oh my god!_ into the pillow but he keeps going, in total, bringing her to cum three times until he wins. She's spent, and begs him to stop his assault on her pussy as she's squirting a huge climax!

* * *

In Miami, Manny went out clubbing when he could find no rest at home. It was just too quiet in the gigantic apartment and he couldn't stand it. All day he was haunted by memories of her and as much as he tried, he couldn't shake them.

He thought, over and over again of them making love, of him being inside her; her riding him. God the way she rode him! Her full breasts with her large dark nipples bouncing as she sat astride his waist and ground her hips into him while she cried out; her hands against his chest trying to pace herself so that he didn't go too deep too fast! He'd penetrated her balls deep for most of their lovemaking but when she couldn't take it anymore, she flipped them over and took charge. He remembers everything about that morning; how she played a game where in spite of what she was saying, in the end, she took him anyway. He thinks that was the sexiest part, how she told him she couldn't, said it over and over again and then she'd let him! God she'd taken him for hours, letting him have it, have her any way he wanted. He fucked her so good, her mouth, pussy, ass. She even fucked his cock with those unbelievable breasts!

Man, she was so cute when she'd scream _motherfucker_ , especially when he'd grab those beautiful nipples and bite and pull them with his teeth. And when he took hold of her waist and bounced her hard on his cock…

"Why won't you dance with me, Manny?" A blonde girl, whose name he couldn't remember for the life of him said as she came up to the back of where he was sitting.

"You know what, mami, how about later?" He asked. He had a serious hard on right now and if he got up from the VIP booth where he was seated with another girl, a brunette and very scantily dressed and yet he paid her no mind either, he'd probably have a situation on this hands.

"But I want to dance, now!" She pouted, bouncing up and down, her breasts that had no support rebounding, not that she needed it. He guessed that her implants were blown up to at least a D cup.

"How about we have some fun right here, huh?" He said as he took her hand and pulled her around to the front of the booth. She smiled as she came around, squeezing in past the girl who was sitting there and ended up on his lap.

"What did you have in mind?" She said as he put her hand in his shirt.

"How about you" He kissed her "and you" He said to the brunette on this left as he kissed her lips. "Give me a little attention down below? I have a raging hard on!" He said as Brandi, the brunette and Jazzi, the blonde smiled seductively and kissed each other, their and roaming each other's nipples, pinching and squeezing before they quickly went down beneath the table and unzipped Manny's pants, letting him spring free for their hungry mouths as he threw his head back and closed his eyes as he let the music take over and lost himself in the feeling of what the ladies were doing to him as he thought about Olivia!

* * *

Late that night, she was up, sitting in the kitchen in his shirt and eating ice cream in the dark. She sat there, a million thoughts running through her mind. Manny, the baby and those little girls. She just couldn't get them out of her head, like she couldn't get out of her head why she was up at 1AM eating ice cream! She guessed that maybe her cravings were starting and her mind went right back to Manny; stupidly trying to count how many times she'd let him cum inside her versus the two times she knows he did, that morning he raped her. She'd counted every single thrust he gave - 134 of them before he came for the last time then three more, the last three being extra hard and painful. She remembered how in spite of her not wanting it, she came. She squirted all over the floor while she cried and she felt like dying, especially because he didn't stop, not even then. He kept on and it became even more painful because she still hadn't gotten wet, she never did throughout the whole ordeal but when she came, that just egged him on and he got rougher with her.

" _Manny please stop...please!" She cried. She was bleeding now at this point and the pain was unreal!_

She wiped her tears and shook off the memory. She hadn't thought about the rape until that night a little over a week ago when she began throwing up; she had no reason to. Even though it was hard, she had decided to put all of it behind her and recommit herself to Nick. She never thought that this would come back to haunt her in the worst way!

She was finishing up her ice cream when Nick suddenly wandered in the kitchen, turning on the light.

"What are you doing here, sittin in the dark?" He said as he came and stood, putting his arms around her from behind.

"I couldn't sleep, I was hungry." She said and turned to kiss him.

"Ice cream?" He grinned.

"I had a craving." She said almost whispering and put the last spoonful in his mouth and kissed him again as he swallowed.

"You okay?" He asked as he pulled her up and led her to the sofa where he sat down and she joined, sitting beside and leaning into his embrace.

"Not really. I'm thinking about those little girls and I'm wondering how their mom is gonna get through this. They were the same age as Zara Nick, I just can't imagine something like this happening to us.

"And god forbid, it won't! We'll be alright."

"Ever since becoming a mom, my need to protect is stronger than ever, if anything ever happened to either of them…"

"That's not something we ever ne-" And suddenly it hit him, what she said. "...either of them? Liv; what are you saying?" He hoped with all his might that she was telling him what he thought she was. She realized that she'd made a mistake that she couldn't take back and she sat up, figuring she might as well tell him, and turned to face him.

"...that I'm pregnant!"

* * *

 **Chapter 11 coming soon or something. How about a review?**


	11. The Plot Thickens

**Chapter 11. To the guest reviewer who left the review asking if Olivia had already told Nick about the baby, I think you should read chapter 10 again, she only imagined that she told him. This time she told him for real. Dick Wolf owns, enjoy.**

* * *

.

She lay in bed early Saturday morning, Nick's strong arms around her as she woke up to see his beautiful dark eyes staring at her. He hadn't really slept all night, he was so happy about the baby that his excitement just continued to grow as they sat there (after he'd spent a good twenty minutes on his knees talking to her stomach) and she told him through tears that she'd found out a week ago after she'd been throwing up for two days and decided to take a home pregnancy test but the test was faulty and she couldn't believe it when the doctor told her. She never thought she'd be able to have a child and now look.

That night, they made love again and even after he'd spent his last drop of energy pleasing her so she fell asleep in his arms; he was just too excited and lay there practically the whole night, replaying what she'd told him and imagining the future for their son. He just knew it was a boy and couldn't wait until they could find out for sure!

"Hey." He whispered to her as her eyes opened and she smiled. She was so gorgeous with her hair all wild from their lovemaking, a lock of it lying across her face, he couldn't believe that this woman; this beautiful goddess of a woman was right now, carrying his child inside her.

"Good morning." She said and kissed him, snuggling closer. _Tell him, Olivia!_

"Sleep okay?"

"What little sleep I got!" She smiled though it quickly disappeared as a look of uneasy came over her. "What time is it?"

"Just after six."

"I'm surprised Zara's not up yet. She usually beats us waking up."

"I'm sure she'll be up and busting our eardrums soon enough." He said and they laughed.

Olivia knew that she had to tell him, she'd got distracted between answering his questions and them making love last night and she never got to it. Now, here in the early morning, it had to be now. "Baby?" She called to him nervously.

"Yeah?"

"We need to-." She said as she sat up and regretted it. Rising so fast had aggravated her stomach and she felt vomit coming up.

"You okay?" Nick asked, suddenly concerned when she took on a greenish tint, almost matching the plaid in Nick's pajama shirt that she wore.

"Oh!" She said as she put a hand to her mouth and jumped out of bed, running to the bathroom and slamming the door. Nick heard her heaving as he got up and quickly threw on his pajama pants before he went to the bathroom door.

"Liv… Mami…" He called as she threw up again then said quietly to himself "I don't think she needs you Nick!" and he sat down nervously on the bed and waited. Suddenly, Zara knocked and opened the door, looking so cute in her pink and white pajama shortset as she held her stuffed unicorn but she felt sick unbeknownst to Nick.

"Hey princess. Estás bien?" Rather than come inside, Zara stood in the doorway hugging her unicorn and shivering slightly.

"No podía volver a dormir… Daddy, where's Olivia?" She said and asked quietly with a cough that Nick didn't miss.

"Zara, mija come here." He said just as Olivia came out of the bathroom but when Zara saw her, she immediately changed her mind about going to her daddy and went straight to Olivia.

"Zara, baby what's wrong?" Olivia asked as she lifted the child into her arms and could feel her heat through her pajamas as Zara lay her head on Olivia's shoulder. "Nick, she's burning up!" She said suddenly forgetting about her morning sickness and holding her and trying to remain calm so she wouldn't worry Zara but she was at this moment, frantic!

"I'll get the thermometer!" He said as he quickly went into the bathroom and Olivia sat down, holding Zara close to her as she sat listlessly on Olivia's lap, curled into her.

"I don't feel good!" Zara said in a barely there voice as she let out another cough.

"I know baby." Olivia said as she kissed the top of Zara's head. Nick came back with the thermometer, quickly putting it in Zara's ear to take her temperature, his expression changing when he saw what it said as he looked at Olivia, those numbers scared the life out of him but her kept a calm, firm voice as he told Olivia the result.

"104.2, I'm gonna get some clothes on and bring the car around." But her reaction was just as shocked as his.

"Zara, we're gonna take a trip to the emergency room, okay?"

* * *

In Miami, Manny was once again out for his morning run and as he ran along South Pointe Park with his music in his ears, he couldn't help but think of her. It had been three weeks since he'd saw her last and five weeks since he was with her and he still couldn't understand why she'd developed this sudden anger towards him.

He'd tried calling her the day she threw him out but he got nothing, except for later that day when she picked up to tell him _don't ever call this number again!_ and she hung up. Then of course when he'd tried to talk to her at the wedding, she gave him a look that could kill!

He just wanted to know what happened. Was it because she felt guilt over what she'd done? Over the fact that she'd cheated on his brother? Truth be told, when they had sex that morning, he thought that it would be it. He didn't count on becoming addicted to it; to her, but there it was. He'd spent the whole day thinking about it, replaying it in his mind; hell, he saw it when he slept, her body spread before him to have any way he wanted! Even the next day, she'd said no but she wanted him. Was it a coincidence that she was in his room that morning, in a short nightshirt under which she had nothing on? That she let him manhandle her, make her submit and then after they were done, she freaked out! He admits, he was a little rough with her but he didn't do anything that she didn't want, he would never do something that a woman didn't want.

He took a break from running and stopped as he ran alongside the water, watching the sun just come up and he thought about it. He was sorry that he'd betrayed his brother and went after his then fiancé, he never intended for any of it to happen but then 4 months ago, something happened. He'd met Olivia before then and he thought she was beautiful! Dark hair, gorgeous skin, a body for days; she was a total package and he considered his brother lucky that a woman like that was available and told him so. But then, 4 months ago when he saw her at their engagement party in that skintight, white dress that left very little to the imagination, and she'd gotten close to him when they danced and for the first time he noticed her perfume, light with hints of orange blossom… When he thought back to how his dick got so hard that night and he was glad that she'd ended the dance because he had to find somebody to fuck or he was going to explode! Ever since then, he's thought about her, often masturbating to thoughts of her, even been with other women all while she was on his mind. Truth be told, no, he didn't intend for it to happen but did he go to NYC with the sole thought of trying to fuck his brothers woman? Yes. And he would give it everything he had, even after Nick had told him that he wanted him to entice her, that was just dumb luck because he'd already decided that he was going to.

Looking out at the water, he knew he had to see her again, even if she told him to leave her alone, she couldn't deny the absolute primal connection they'd had. He was going to see her again. And s _he'd have no choice but to talk to me if I just show up!_

* * *

They'd been in the ER now for 4 hours and the doctors were now sure what had gotten Zara's fever so high, she had a wicked throat infection from her tonsils which were swollen and the doctors were sure of one thing- they had to get her fever down and so far, the fever medicine they'd been giving her, wasn't working!

Nick was trying to strong, but seeing Zara so sick had gotten to him. She'd been the only girl in his life for so long; his baby and having her suddenly be down like this when she'd never been this sick before… After he'd gone to call his mother, he headed back to Zara's room to see Olivia sitting in a chair by the gurney with Zara in her arms. She looked so scared as she stroked the now sleeping child's hair as she talked to the doctor.

"...doses of ibuprofen and it's done nothing! Her fever's only gone up!"

"Gone up?" Nick said as he came in.

"Mr. Amaro-" The doctor said but Nick was beyond hearing him at this point.

"How high?"

"105.4 but that's what I was just trying to explain to your wife. We've given her antibiotics to treat the infection, it should bring her fever down soon."

"So that's it? She'll be okay?" Olivia asked, finally feeling some relief and holding Nick's hand.

"We'll send her home with antibiotics, she should be just fine, waking you guys early and being a handful." He smiled. "I'll be back in an hour to check on her."

"Thanks doc." Nick said as the doctor left and he turned to Olivia, looking down at Zara and sent up a silent prayer of thanks as he kneeled to the chair.

"She's gonna be okay!" Olivia said, misty eyed and smiling as she kissed Zara's head.

"What about you? You've been sitting here for so long…" He said as he rubbed her stomach.

"We're fine, stop worrying."

"Can you imagine the two of them together?" He laughed.

"It's gonna be an adventure." She said just as Nick's phone began vibrating. He kissed Olivia and Zara before he answered.

"Yeah captain?" He said as he walked out into the hall. Zara started to stir, opening her eyes.

"Mommy?" She said in her miniscule little voice, catching Olivia completely by surprise and she couldn't help but cry. _Did she just call me Mommy?_

* * *

Out in the hall, Nick was still on his phone with his captain.

"Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can...okay. Yes, she's fine, thank you...okay. I'll see you soon." And he hung up just as another call came in. Hey, Manny!"

"So I have some time coming up in a couple weeks, and I wanted to come up and see you guys, but it's not set in stone yet."

"Yeah, that'd be great, just let me know!" Nick said.

"You sound happy, what'd you just get some?" Manny joked, imagining Olivia naked and writhing as he did.

"You dick!" Nick laughed along with him. "No, we had to take Zara to the ER and just found out she's gonna be fine so I'm just stoked! And speaking of stoked; don't say anything because we're not telling anybody yet"

"Telling anybody what? Nick, que esta pasando?"

"Olivia; she's pregnant!"

* * *

 **I guess more to come, see y'all soon!**


	12. On A Mission

**Chapter 12**

* * *

.

 **Miami**

 _" ...just 5 weeks; I tell you, I'm so excited I could bust!" Nick said, the happiness in his voice and seeping through the phone but Manny wasn't exactly feeling the same as him._

 _"You sound like it."_

 _"Yeah, but like I said, we're not telling anyone yet so please-"_

 _"I got you, man. Listen, I gotta go but you take care and I'll hit you up about those plans."_

It's been a week and he still can't believe it! Pregnant. He hasn't been able to think of anything else! He remembers that day, when Nick told him that she was 5 weeks along, the first thing that went through his head was, is it mine? And even now, he can't help thinking about it! What if, on the small chance...?

"A kid. A real, live kid. I mean I love my nieces and nephews but a kid? Nine months from now, there could be a little human out there with half my genes; hell, she's growing that human while I'm sitting here thinking about it!"

To think that one of two times in 24 hours, and he could very well have fathered that baby! He still didn't know where his head was, even a week later he didn't know. He wanted to run to New York, to tell her that he knows, tell her that he loves her and he thinks that he's almost, maybe, probably, sure that he wants this baby, their baby. Well, he won't tell her that of course. He does love her; at least he thinks he does. At best, he knows he wants her and that's a start, but then he thinks and remembers that he can't. She has no idea that he even knows, or that anybody knows for that matter. _Though it's one way to bring friction between her and Nick..._ "What are you saying, tipo? You can't put a rift in their marriage; especially not with that! She'll expect that he told me. She won't be happy about it, but she'll expect it... but who says that he has to know that she knows I know? That's it. Manny you are a genius! You can play this both ways, get what you want and Nick won't be any the wiser until it's too late!"

* * *

 **2am, New York**

Thinking that she heard a noise, she got up and went to Zara's room to check on her but seeing that the 5 year old was sound asleep in her bed, she kissed her before looking out the windows, then closed her room door and crept silently out into the apartment to check the rest of the house.

After checking the rest of the apartment and being sure that it was safe, (she's been doing this a lot since she got pregnant) she went back to her bedroom and climbed into bed. She had a hard time getting back to sleep without Nick there and she just lay there, listening to the sounds of the city before she got up and went to the kitchen.

Sitting there again, eating ice cream, she thought about telling Nick once again. All week she'd thought about telling him but when Zara got sick and then called her mommy, she just couldn't do it and she still couldn't get over it. Zara's been calling her that for a week now and Olivia never gets tired of hearing it.

She had been so excited and Nick was even more excited than she was (if that was even possible). But, she knew that she couldn't. Not now, not when everything was perfect. Zara, who had never had a mother, but had grown to love Olivia so much that she now fully considered her to be the one thing she never had in her life, she wouldn't risk losing that and she knew it the very second that word left Zara's mouth. She had always wanted to be mommy to Zara but no matter what, she'd always felt like a stepparent. And that was okay because the love was there but still... Yet when she called her mommy, all of a sudden, everything changed. Zara saw her as something more; she was finally Olivia's little girl, and Olivia, no matter how much she knew she'd wronged Nick by sleeping with, and possibly getting pregnant by his brother, she couldn't let that go. They'd even told Zara about the baby and just for a little while, Olivia thought that maybe there was nothing to worry about. Maybe this baby was Nick's: maybe the universe could feel her guilt over what happened and decided that she'd suffered enough. She'd already been raped, maybe that was her punishment for what she did.

 _Are you really reasoning that that's what it was?_ She asked herself _. Payback? You're excusing rape as payback now? So Manny just gets a pass?_

"Will you shut up?!" She screamed at herself as she dropped the now empty bowl into the sink. "I can't tell him this! All he'll see is that I lied to him and he won't forgive that, he won't want anything to do with me!" And she touched a hand to her stomach. "He won't want anything to do with us!" When she heard the door unlocking, she quickly got herself together before he reached the kitchen and put the ice cream back in the freezer.

"Hey, mami." He said and kissed her, quickly kissing her still flat stomach and rubbing it lovingly. "Te amo, pequeño individuo o una niña. aunque estoy totalmente sé que eres un chico, pero vamos a divertir a tu madre!"

"Puedo entender que, sabes?" She asked laughing, then when he stood up, looking adorably embarrassed, she kissed him. "Hi."

"You're up late."

"I couldn't sleep without you. This pregnancy is really making me want to be near you all the time."

"I don't know if I should be flattered or afraid."

"And why would you be afraid?"

"Well..." He started as he sat her on the counter in front of him. "You want me now, but now you're nice; what happens if your hormones turn you into a bitch?" He ran his finger across her lips as he stood between her parted thighs, causing her to shiver when his already hardening erection hit her clit causing her to whimper.

"Then you'll deal with it and love me anyway...and don't tease me, I'm so horny right now!" She said into his mouth as she kissed him, grinding slowly against him.

"Oh, I know, you're so wet it's insane!" He said, his fingers dipping into the waistband of her barely-there, silk panties and dancing at her slit. "I could really get used to you being pregnant!"

"Oh? Sounds like a challenge." She laughed.

"I'm just sayin, we got lucky once, you never know!" His tone came seductively as he put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer while his other hand continued to explore her down below.

"God, I love you!" She said, rubbing his erection through his pants. She wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

"I love you baby! Why don't you take these off?" He asked as he grabbed her panties with both hands and began pulling them down. "You know how I hate panties!" He smiled as he got them past her feet and let them drop to the floor. They were already drenched with her wetness as they continued kissing. His hand now running through her hair at the back of her head, gently tugging at it, giving him access to her neck and jawline, both of which he let his lips flow over, nipping and sucking while he pushed his fingers inside her.

"Nicky...Jesus, baby, I need you to bend me over, right now, and fuck me in my ass, right here!" She whispered to him as their lips parted. "I need to feel you!"

She didn't have to tell him twice!

* * *

The next day, with Nick at work, Olivia and Zara spent the day at the beach with two of Zara's friends and Casey and Amanda. They were building a sandcastle while Zara, Sierra and Chloe went near the shore to collect seashells while Amanda helped and kept a close eye on them, leaving Casey and Olivia to build the castle.

"How is it even possible that your boobs have gotten bigger?" A shocked Casey said to Olivia who just laughed.

"They've been bigger for about a week but now they feel like hell! I wake up this morning and my breasts feel like they've been run over by a car and my nipples feel like they've been struck by lightning. I actually cried this morning, they hurt so bad!"

"I'd shed a few tears for those, they look fabulous!" But Olivia just gave her a look and smirked as she gathered sand in a bucket and looked out at Amanda with the kids. They were splashing around in the water, having a good time and Olivia wished that her life could go back to being so simple. "I take it you haven't told Nick?"

Olivia continued looking out at Zara. "I wanted to all week, Case, I almost told him, but then Zara got sick and the mommy thing happened and I just; now I realize that I made a huge mistake, and I won't risk my family; I can't!"

"Okay. But what are you gonna do about Manny?"

"I haven't figured that part out just yet."

"Last week you said you were gonna call and you never did..."

"That was just-"

"Liv, I'm here and I'm listening. All you gotta do is..."

She took a long pause before she looked at Casey. "Not here." She said softly and full of regret, then tried to look happy as the girls came back with the seashells. "We'll talk later."

"Mommy, mommy, aunt Casey, look at the pretty shesells; I mean she-shells..." Zara said and laughed, slapping her forehead. "Look at what aunt Amanda helped us find!"

"We got lots!" Sierra said.

"Wow, these are beautiful! Good job girls." Olivia said and high fived them.

"Thank you!" The three of them said in unison.

"Girls, why don't you show them what else you got." Amanda said, smiling mischievously.

"Wanna see?" Chloe said to Casey and Olivia.

"Sure do!" Casey said as the girls dug in their buckets and she and Olivia looked on.

"SANDCRABS!" They shouted as they whipped them out, sending Olivia and Casey scurrying backwards in the sand while Amanda and the girls nearly bust their guts laughing!

* * *

Later that night at the apartment, Zara was in bed, now fast asleep and Casey was in the living room, sipping a glass of wine.

"Sorry, I had to make sure she was down." Olivia said as she came into the room and sat down on the sofa.

"It's okay." She said and took a sip. "So... the kids are at home, Amanda's gone and it's later."

"So it is."

"Liv, what's goin on with you? The last time we talked; I don't even know where to begin with this but I know that there's something you're not telling me.

There was a long moment of silence, during which Olivia didn't know where to look as tears came to her eyes and she wiped them but they were coming faster than her hands could get to them. Casey watched this, confused. But she didn't speak again as Olivia put a hand to her mouth when she she felt the crying get out of control and suddenly, like that morning when it happened, sobs were escaping her and Casey sat her wineglass down and put her arms around her.

They sat there like that for what seemed like forever and only when Olivia managed to get her tears under control, she wiped her swollen eyes a final time, and looked at Casey, no more tears and just told her.

"Case...he raped me." She said in a tone with no feeling. It was quiet and cold and Casey just sat there in shock.

"What do you... What?!" She was just stunned.

"That night Zara and I got home, I was prepared to tell him that he had to go but he wasn't here and the next morning he came in while I was cleaning the guest room and his hands were all over me and... Anyway, I tried to tell him no; hell I did tell him no, but he wouldn't listen. I guess because I'd told him we couldn't so many times before we actually did-"

"No! I can't believe that I'm sitting here and I have to say this to you of all people; Liv you know this isn't your fault!"

"Is it? I led him on, I said stop, and we can't when I meant yes and I wanted nothing more than to have him fuck my brains out! Then when I said no, and I meant it, he thought it was me playing hard to get! He twisted my arm and backed me into the dresser... I don't know which time I got pregnant, or if it's even his. All I do know is that I can't tell Nick."

"Olivia...

"Casey, he'd never believe me and I wouldn't blame him; I slept with Manny, willingly the first time; Nicks's never gonna believe that he raped me! He's gonna think that this is me, trying to save face for being in this predicament."

"Olivia, Nick knows the ins and outs of rape, and he also knows that you would never make up an accusation like this, not even to save face! Honey, you've gotta tell him."

"I can't."

"And if this baby is Manny's, then what?"

"Case..." Just as Olivia was about to say something, Nick came in the door. "Please don't." She whispered.

"Hey Case." He said as he came in and kissed Olivia.

"Hey Nick. You missed a blast at the beach today."

"Yeah, I wish I could've come." He said. "It's so quiet, that's not like you two." Casey and Olivia looked at each other, Olivia begging with her eyes.

"Uh, Liv was just telling me-"

"...about the baby." Olivia finished. "I know we're not telling anyone yet but-"

"No, it's okay. She's your best friend. I'm surprised you've kept it a secret this long!" He smiled and kissed her as Casey looked at her.

"Well, again, congratulations. We have to get together and celebrate sometime!" Casey said, uncomfortably. Now that she knew, this was tearing her apart and she wanted so much to tell Nick. "But I'd better get going, I have court in the morning."

"I'll walk you out." Olivia said.

"Goodnight Nick."

"Night Case, get home safe!" Casey was hesitant to go but she made her feet move and she and Olivia walked off, stepping into the hall where they were waiting for the elevator.

"Casey-"

"Liv, you can't let Manny get away with what he did to you! You can't let him-"

"I can't tell Nick. Not only would I be ruining us, but I'd be ruining his relationship with his brother..."

"I don't give a shit about his brother! That fucker, he raped you!"

"And it's over! Casey please okay, I'm begging you, let this go."

"Liv-"

"I mean it." She said as Casey stood there in the hall for a second, wanting to say something to change her mind but knowing there was nothing. Olivia had made up her mind and until she decided to change it, there was nothing that anyone could say. "I can handle this."

"I hope you know what you're doing!" Casey said as she got on the elevator.

* * *

 **More to come.**


	13. The Thing About High Hopes

**Chapter 13...I can't believe I did this! It was only supposed to be a five! Anyway, we pick up where we left off, enjoy.**

* * *

 **.**

Inside the apartment, Nick was sitting on the couch nervous at what he had to say to Olivia and he decided to finish off Casey's wine that she left in her glass. When Olivia came in the house and locked the door, then made her way into the living room and she saw Nick sitting there on the couch drinking, her mind began racing even more than it already was.

"Nick?" She called to him while she pulled at her tee shirt dress and twisted it, needing something to do with her hands.

"Come sit with me." He said, patting the space next to him.

"You are mad at me for telling Casey." She said as she sat down. "I know we agreed-"

"No, no. Baby it's fine...I actually told Manny last week." Why did that hit her a lot harder than it probably should have? She knew how close he was to his brother so it shouldn't have surprised her that he did but she couldn't help feeling like though he didn't know it, Nick had set a shitstorm in motion and she would be on the receiving end of it!

"You told Manny." She said, trying to keep her anxiety down.

"At the hospital. He called after my captain hung up and I was so relieved about Zara and just on cloud nine about the baby… Still on cloud nine about it." He said as he rubbed her stomach. "We're having a little person; you and me!"

She couldn't help but smile although she was in turmoil about the whole thing, but when Nick talked like that, something in her knew beyond all doubt that this baby was indeed his and she put her hand over his on her still-flat stomach. "It is pretty amazing." She said and kissed him, then later her head on his shoulder. She was trying hard not to show her reaction to the news that Manny knows but Jesus! He's known for a week. A whole week where he could be weighing his options- what if he tells Nick? She had to know where she stood in all this, and so against her better judgment, she asked. "So, how did Manny take the news? Was he as excited as Casey?"

"He's happy for us."

 _He's happy? What does that mean?_ "That's good I guess." She said with her arms around him. _Maybe it is good. Maybe he's realized what he did and he's gonna leave us alone. Maybe- god who am I kidding? He's up to something, I know it!_

"Liv?" Nick called, pulling her back from her thoughts and she looked up at him, wide eyed and somewhat embarrassed.

"Hmm?"

"It's not important." He smiled as he kissed her head.

"I'm sorry, my mind is a little preoccupied these days." She said, touching her stomach and deciding that it was best if she put Manny out of her mind for now, and left him there. "Are you hungry? I could heat-"

"No, it's okay. I had something at the precinct. I actually, I wanted to talk to you."

"About?"

"Olivia… You know that I love you."

"And I love you, Babe. What are you-"

He took her hands in his and held them to his chest, then brought them to his mouth, kissing them so lovingly. That went straight to her pussy and now in addition to him preparing to tell her something, and her worrying about Manny, she was seriously horny! "Something happened at work today and I debated if I was gonna tell you but; look, I don't want us to have secrets between us and so..."

"Tell me what?"

"The Prescott case we've been working for the last two weeks; I've been keeping in touch with the girlfriend while we're investigating and I went by her place today to tell her about a lead we got on her boyfriend's murder..." He quickly had a thought about that wine glass hurdling towards his head and stopped to moved it, afraid that she might throw it at him. "-she kissed me."

"She kissed you? _How_ did she kiss you?" She waited for an answer and when he didn't reply… "How did she kiss you, Nick?" She asked, trying hard to remain calm but she felt damn angry inside! Did he kiss her back and did it go further? She had no right to be mad about this considering what she'd done with Manny, but Nick was hers, all hers, and if he touched this woman, so help her, she would smash this woman's face in while kicking his-

"It was on the mouth; but I swear I didn't kiss her back!" But she sat there, looking at him with her emotions working overtime and she wondered whether she should believe him. "I pushed her off me, told her that I'm very married, and I left. I told my Captain about it immediately when I got back to the precinct and that was it. Liv, you gotta believe me, nothing happened!" and he was telling the truth. Lisa, the woman, had kissed him. She was one of those types that sought sexual attention and she thought that she could get it from Nick. The kiss surprised him but when the shock quickly wore off, he did exactly what he said; he pushed her away and let her know that he was married and that she was way out of line! Now, sitting here with Olivia, he only prayed that she believed him and was surprised, even jumping slightly when she moved, him thinking that she was going to strike him.

"Look at me." She said and he immediately raised his eyes to meet hers. "Swear to me that's all it was"

"Olivia, I wouldn't lie to you. You mean far too much to me to risk us over something so trivial." And he meant it, but why did he have to say that? Why did he have to remind her of where they were; where she thought they were up until six weeks ago? "I know that if it were you, you wouldn't keep something like this from me." When he said those words, she wished beyond everything that she could go back! She wouldn't have been so weak, she would have understood that some things are better left in dreams and not have done it. Dammit if she could just take it back!

"I believe you." She said simply. "I know that you love me and I know that you wouldn't lie to me about something like this."

"Did I tell you that I love you?"

"You did, but I need something from you."

"Let me guess; you want me to massage you?"

"Mmm, not exactly…" She said and straddled him, undoing his tie and tossing it. "I'm not wearing any panties!"

"No panties?"

"None, and I really need for you to…" She whispered in his ear, sending a huge smile across his face.

"You need that, do you?"

"You gonna make me wait?" She asked, practically dripping against him, she needed him so bad. He quickly wrapped his arm around her waist as they kissed then slid his hand down, making her moan into his mouth as he circled her aching clit with his fingers and she pushed her hips into his hand for more contact. What he was doing felt so damn good and in her heightened state, she needed more, and smiled euphorically as she felt his cock enter her while his thumb continued on her clit and they continued, his lips on her neck, kissing and sucking as she rode him hard! God, she was so wet, so warm around him and the way she fit so snug...

He undid the zipper at the front of her dress and reached for her bra that barely held her growing breasts. "I can't believe they've gotten so big already!" He said so excited, feeling like a kid at christmas as he unclasped the front but she quickly stopped him before he got his mouth on her nipple.

"It's such a shame that you can't touch them!" She said smiling.

"No touch?"

"No touch-" She let out a hard, lustful moan as he continued to impale her on his cock, going deeper. "...oh god, baby!" She rode him hard, rocking her hips against him, feeling her clit brush against his pelvic bone with every movement, she was in heaven as they continued. "Nick..." She cried in a whisper. "Oh my god!" She cried out even louder.

"Shhh! Mami, you don't wanna wake Zara."

And just that fast, she went back to that morning, that horrible morning. _She couldn't do anything but take Manny and pray that he'd finish quickly, a prayer that came in vain as the more she gasped in pain and moaned her agony, he took it as pleasure and it spurred him on. 137 thrusts. She thought, each more painful than the last. He hurt her so bad between her legs that she bled for two days after that!_ She got off him fast, the mood now totally lost. She, now totally turned off.

"Olivia?" He could see that she was obviously upset and he reached out to touch her but she backed up, holding the top of her dress closed. "Mami…?" He said as he reached for her hand.

"Don't touch me!" She said angrily, trying to hold in her tears, and when Nick looked at her, not sure what to make of he actions, she had to come up with something, quickly blaming it on nausea. "-it's fine; I'm fine, I just… I feel sick." Which wasn't a total lie. Thinking about what Manny had done to her made her sick to her stomach! She got up, and without turning around, she kept going until she was in their bedroom and slammed the door.

"Shit!" Nick cried as he ran a hand down his front and stroked his hard on. He was so stiff, he thought he'd die but knew that he needed to calm himself before he dared go in the bedroom.

...

Olivia had gone into their bathroom and now sat alongside the tub with her hands in her hair, internally freaking out. She'd really just lost it with Nick over something that wasn't his fault and she felt terrible about it.

"You have got to get it together!" She told herself and she meant it. Regardless of how she felt, unless she was prepared to tell Nick what happened, and she wasn't, she had to push these feelings back down. She hated that ever since she found out about this pregnancy, they were coming to the surface and she didn't know what to do, especially now that she'd told Casey!

As she stood up from where she sat on the tub and made her way across the room to the sink, she put her hand to her stomach. _This baby is everything I've ever wanted; why can't it just be simple?_ She wondered. She wasn't kidding herself, she knew that this was all her fault. If she'd never allowed Manny to touch her that morning or if she hadn't been alone on the next; if Nick had been there, hell, if Zara wouldn't have. There is no way that he would have gotten her in such a vulnerable position; she would have fought harder. "You have to put it out of your mind, Olivia. You can't give him this kind of power over y-"

"Liv?"

When she heard him knock and twist the locked door handle, she froze. "I'll be out in a minute." She said quickly.

"Are you okay?"

Was she okay? Honestly, she felt anything but okay as she stood there looking in the mirror. Nick had given her his love, his trust, his family and his little girl and just that fast, she betrayed everything because she had dreams about his brother! So no, she wasn't okay. She wasn't okay at all. "I'll be fine!" She said, trying to keep the tears that were streaming down her face, out of her voice and failing. "Actually, I'm gonna take a quick shower."

...

Later as she was lying in bed on her side, staring blankly into nothing as she thought about her predicament, she knew that she had told herself that she had to put Manny out of her mind, but how could she when he was always right there? He knows now, about the baby and she has no clue what, if anything he'll do! She thought about what would happen if she came clean and told Nick, thought about how hurt he'd be, thought about him telling her to leave and that he never wanted to see her again. Thought about losing his mother, losing Zara and suddenly more tears filled her eyes and rolled down onto the pillow.

As Nick came from the bathroom after his own shower and climbed into bed naked. She didn't say anything to him, didn't even look at him, she was so distracted with her thoughts and tears. When he snaked his arm around her waist, and kissed her cheek, she was surprised to know he was there. "Hey." He said, snuggling close.

"Hey." She said and took his arm, pulling it tighter around her and turned her head to catch his lips in a kiss then turned back on the side, away from him.

Nick knew that something was wrong, and it was more than her feeling sick. She'd been this way for over an hour now and to say he was worried about her… "Liv, please tell me what's wrong." He whispered to her.

 _I did something so stupid, so wrong; I slept with your brother and this baby might be his and I'm so sorry!_ "It's nothing...I, I just…"

"Did I do something?" He asked, not being able to help feeling somehow guilty. "Why are you crying?"

"Nick-"

"This is about that kiss, Prescott's girlfriend?"

"Listen to me" She whispered as she turned to face him and cupped his face. "I'm not in this...mood because of you! You have brought me nothing but unbelievable joy since we started and I mean that with every fibre of my being. I love you, so very much and don't you ever forget that, no matter what!"

"And I love you, more than you'll ever know. I just want you to be happy." He stroked her hair, moving it behind her ear.

"I am happy and you do that for for me, nobody but you, it's just overwhelming when I think about it and I think how much you mean to me; if I ever lost you…"

"Hey, you are never gonna lose me. We're in this for the long haul, you hear me?"

"But what if-"

"What if nothing. Whatever comes, we'll work through it but I'm not going anywhere and you aren't either, we're endgame for each other!" When he said those words, looking into her eyes and then kissed her to let her know that it was real, suddenly, she felt like she could do this, like they could do this and she fell into him, into the kiss. She kissed him slow, passionately and didn't hesitate when his tongue asked for entrance in her mouth and parted her lips, their tongues dancing languidly against each others. Without words, she spread her legs beneath him and drew them back, putting him directly against her heat.

"Yeah?" He checked to be sure that this was what she wanted and between kisses, she agreed and they made love until she was exhausted and drifted off to sleep, so satisfied, in his arms. If only she knew how wrong she was in assuming that everything would be okay.

* * *

 **More to come.**


	14. Like A Cockroach

**Chapter 14**

* * *

 **.**

 **1 week later**

"Ughhh! It's bad enough these things are so big and sore, but the damn blinkers won't turn off!" She whined as she stood in the mirror feeling nauseous and took off her 5th shirt this morning, throwing it into the pile on the bed and looked at herself standing there in her jeans and bra. "I look like a damn pornstar!" She said of her breasts that in the last week had gone up yet another cup size and her nipples had gone right along with them. They were huge and constantly hard and they showed unambiguously no matter what she wore! She was sure that she was at least a 36DD, that unfortunately she was currently stuffing into a D cup bra that she'd only bought two weeks ago! "You're letting it be known that you're here, huh baby?" She said, cradling her still-flat stomach that she could swear she was starting to see a little change to.

"You look beautiful!" Nick said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed her neck. "and you're pregnant baby, your body is gonna be expected to go through some changes."

"And I'd feel a lot better about if they didn't hurt so much and if I didn't have to wear a damn jacket over my outfits lately thanks to these cherries that I now call nipples."

"Which I cannot wait to get at as soon as the pain stops!" He said, his hands creeping upwards.

"Touch them and I will seriously hurt you!" She said, his hands going back down, quickly. "You are such a man sometimes!"

"With you lookin like that? Damn right I am!" He said and she laughed, turning her head to kiss him.

"I miss being close to you like we used to be. I miss hugging and holding you...I miss your mouth all over them!" She whispered as she kissed him again.

"Now you're just being a tease!" He smiled as he undid her belt and had unbuttoned the top of her jeans.

"Baby..." She cried as the zipper went down but she knew it was pointless to protest. This pregnancy had her horny now for weeks and her cravings, it seemed only grew with each passing day. She was always ready and Nick could be half dead and still serve it up.

"Come on, it'll be a quickie!" He said, putting his hand down her jeans to find her already wet.

"Nick, baby the door's open!"

"Don't worry, Zara's in her room, we'll just listen for her." He said as she helped him get her jeans down and couldn't do it fast enough. She was satisfied when she got them just below her beautiful ass that Nick had to take a moment to appreciate, never tired of seeing it. He palmed and slapped it, earning a whimper from her as he freed himself from his own pants and bent her over the chair, urgent to get inside her. He sunk home with a quick thrust of his hips, and although she was at this point, very wet, with the size of him, one of the things she loved about him was he was a very tight fit and she definitely felt the pinch!

"Shit, baby!" She cried out, keeping her voice down. _Jesus!_

"Too much?" He asked and she very quickly gave a grunt of pleasure as he began thrusting.

"Oh my god!" Her breathing came in soft but sharp peaks. Pregnancy hormones were fucking amazing! "Shit, shit, shit!" She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt him put his hand between her thighs and began stroking her clit, while he wrapped the other around the front of her neck, not choking her hard but putting just enough pressure on her. It didn't take long for her breathing to speed up as she struggled to catch her breath! "Nick!" She was coming and he knew it; could feel it.

"I got you mami, cum for your man!" She didn't need telling again as her first orgasm overtook her, and she came hard as he coaxed it from her. "You know you want to! You're feeling your pussy around my cock and it's so deep…" Though he didn't need to, but still, he enjoyed whispering dirty things in her ear!

"Please...please please please!" She whispered as she came clawing at his hand on her clit. The sensation completely overtook her and while he continued thrusting, not even giving her a tiny break… "Nick no! Oh my god don't you stop… God, you son of a bitch!" She cried. She was feeling every inch of him and what he was doing to her!

"This is just a warmup baby, you wait until I get you alone tonight!" He grinned, thrusting harder and quick, determined to get this cum before they were interrupted. "You wanna go to work with my cum in your panties, don't you?" He said in her ear before biting down playfully on the lobe.

"Yes; oh god I wanna feel you dripping out of me!"

He gave another hard slap to her ass while pounding her and still holding her by the neck. Looking in mirror at the way her breasts were bouncing, he turned her head, claiming her perfect plump lips in the hottest tongue kiss with her moaning into his mouth.

"Fuck, you feel so good!" She cried through the tears in her eyes. It took everything for her to get that out when all she wanted to do was scream at the pleasure that had her. She leaned forward, resting on her arms and was about to...were those… Those were definitely footsteps!

"Baby...she's co-"

"Almost... there...oh god!"

"Nick…"

"Ahhh fuck!" He shouted as he came. When she felt his hot, thick cum begin splashing against her cervix, she immediately came again, him pumping even deeper to get it in there.

"Oh my god!" She said before she dropped her head onto the back of the chair, she couldn't hold it anymore and let loose, screaming her ecstasy onto to the upholstery as she grabbed desperately at him, quickly regaining her senses. "I'm already pregnant!" She laughed through her breathing, causing him to crack up as he kissed her and pulled out slowly so as not to hurt her but she whimpered anyway, hating the empty feeling.

Nick readjusted himself as she hurried to pull up her panties and jeans with just enough time as he heard Zara, she'd forgotten something in her room and went back to get it. That was just enough time for Olivia to announce that she felt really sick then put a hand to her mouth and heave, running to the bathroom.

"Liv, baby…" He was about to go into the bathroom when Zara walked in, announcing with all the energy that only a 5 year old could muster, even if it was sad energy…

"Hi daddy." She said pitifully.

"What's wrong, mi amor?"

"Nothing, I'm ready to go!" She looked up at Nick standing partly concealed by the chair as he fixed his belt before he came around to her.

"You don't sound so happy. Hey, you and abuelita are gonna have fun at the zoo."

"I guess" Zara said, her head down.

"You guess?" He asked Zara as he lifted her head by the chin. ""porque la cara?"

"Because, I want mommy and the baby to come!" Zara replied.

"Zara-" he started but Olivia had heard her as she came from the bathroom and quickly stepped in.

"I know baby, and I wish me and the little one didn't have to work today." She said as she got down on her knees and took Zara's hands in hers, the child looking sad. "Tell you what" she said and stroked Zara's hair "how about I get off early tomorrow and we'll see a movie?" She smiled.

"With a big bucket of popcorn?"

"Of course, can't have a movie without popcorn!" Though the thought of the greasy butter had her stomach flipping right now, but she'd made her baby smile and that beat how bad she was feeling at the moment.

"Oh boy!" She said, undoubtedly happy and gave Olivia a huge hug around the stomach.

"I love you, mommy and I love you baby!"

"We love you too peanut! Olivia said and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "You'll tell me about the zoo when I get home?" She said as she got up.

"I will. Daddy, me and mommy have a date tomorrow, no boys allowed!"

"No boys?" Nick played along, but what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know." She laughed as Olivia went to grab a shirt from the closet and put it on. "Mommy, is the baby ready to come out?"

"Not for a long time yet."

"Mami tiene que ser grande, y redonda!" Nick told Zara who giggled and had a look of amazement on her face.

"Really mommy?"

"Daddy's right peanut, my belly's gonna be wayyyyy out here!" She said, using her hands to demonstrate and that made Zara laugh even more, making Nick and Olivia smile. "Come on baby, we'd better get going. Say bye to daddy."

"Bye Daddy!" She laughed.

"Bye Mi Amor!" He said and kissed her, then kissed Olivia. "I'll be off work early and I'll pick her up. Maybe once she's asleep, we can pick up where we left off."

"Nick!" She laughed and grabbed a dress jacket from the closet. "I'll deal with you later!" She laughed and kissed him. She couldn't imagine being without this and tried to remember what she did before it, it wasn't easy.

"Are you gonna give daddy a punishment?" Zara asked on their way out.

" _If I'm lucky!_ " Nick yelled, causing Olivia to shake her head grinning as she and Zara made their way out the door.

"Ignore your daddy, baby."

* * *

11am and Fin and Olivia had just walked out of the hospital, having spent time talking to a victim.

"I could go for a hot pastrami hero right now, what do you say? My treat." Fin offered as they walked to the car and Olivia fought hard to keep her stomach calm.

"Uh, I'm gonna pass." She said with a hand to her stomach. It was already hot to be September, and with her morning sickness, and being tired, she was not having the best day. "besides, it's 85°, how can you want a hot anything?

"Craving I guess. What's with you these past weeks? You barely eaten a thing."

"I eat." She laughed. _Ice cream, late at night._

"No you don't, at least not when I'm with you which is practically everyday…you even lost a little weight."

"Fin- wait, does it look bad?" She worried. She had been aware that because of vomiting, nausea and having no appetite, that she'd lost a few pounds but it's only been 3 or 4, probably closer to 4. But the doctor said it was okay. Still, now she was asking herself if it really was. _I mean, if he's noticing, who's to say that other people aren't?_

"Nah, relax. It doesn't look bad, it's just...noticeable."

"What the hell does that mean? _"_

"Just wondering if you dieting cuz you don't need to." He said and unlocked the car door.

"What? No, I'm fine. I just wanna get back to the precinct and have a nap to be honest."

"Liv, look at me"

"Will you-"

"Amuse me"

She sighed as she lifted her head up from her side of the car, looking him in the eye as he searched hers and smiled. "What?"

"I can't believe I didn't notice!"

"Notice what, what are you talking about?" She asked, feigning ignorance and feeling her stomach lurching.

"Yeah right, that's why you've been sick every day, you're pregnant!"

"Thats-"

"Dont deny it, that's why the boys look so big, it's not the weight loss, they've just grown!" When she didn't answer, but instead just looked at him, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was right. "Omg, I'm right! How long?"

"Seven weeks" she said smiling.

"Liv!" He said, simply shocked and just happy.

"We're not sharing the news yet, so…"

"No worries, dammit baby girl!" He said, coming around to her side of the car.

"Fin, I'd rather you-" but it was too late, as he gave her a huge squeeze! "Shit, Fin…"

* * *

1pm and lunch with Casey at a restaurant in midtown where she wasn't really having anything, just picking away at a salad but absolutely savoring a milkshake as Casey looked on.

"You really like that milkshake, huh?"

"This thing is like life! God it's so good!" She said and drank another straw full. She crossed her legs at feeling Nick's cum on her pussy and thinking about how she was gonna ravage him when she got home.

"You're happy!"

"It's a good day." She said, sipping her milkshake as Casey took a bite of her steak.

"Did you kill Manny?"

"Don't give me any ideas! But no, He's in Miami where he belongs, Nick and Zara and I are so close it's unreal. I'm having this baby-"

"That may or may not be your husbands…" When Olivia turned and gave her a look that was cold… "Liv, you know I don't wanna have to say it but somebody has to because you are living in a fantasy."

"I'm not. I'm just-"

"Visiting? Honey, like it or not, you've gotta get on top of this thing. You can't go through this pregnancy letting Nick think he's the father if there's a chance that he's not. God knows, I've cosigned a lot of rogue shit, that includes you fucking Manny in the first place, but this is just wrong, Liv and so is you letting Manny get away with what he did to you!"

"I know, and I'll figure it out. Why can't you let that go?"

"Because, every time I try it makes me sick to my stomach! Liv, he raped you, you're an SVU detective for God's sake, you know why I can't let this go!"

"Case-"

"No, Liv. I have tried, because you asked me to forget about this and to trust you, but how do you expect me to do that when it's obvious that you're just letting him get away with it?"

Olivia put her eyes down when they became teary and said lowly "It wasn't that bad, I knew him, okay? He didn't grab me off the street or beat me-"

"But he still forced you to! Honey, no matter what you tell yourself, there is no justifying what that bastard did to you and you know it."

"I gotta go!" She said, and went through her wallet, throwing money down for their lunch and quickly vacating the place.

"Olivia…" But she was already gone and Casey kicked herself mentally, suddenly losing her appetite.

* * *

Later that evening as she finally came home and thankful that she was off duty, she was hanging her bag and jacket in the hall and heard what sounded like Nick and Zara's voices from inside and she smiled. Regardless of what Casey thought, she was lucky to have this incredible family, and this baby that would soon add to that joy, hell it already was and as far as she was concerned for now, that's how it would stay!

She couldn't wait to cuddle up with Nick and Zara, and just forget this day, she thought and hurried inside to find them sitting on the living room floor playing chutes and ladders.

" _You slide all the way down!" Zara laughed._

" _Ah, crap!"_

When Olivia heard that voice, she froze in place. _What the hell is he doing here, how?_

"You said a bad word!"

"How about we don't tell?" Manny said, laughing as Olivia stood there, lost in thought.

" _Oh, you like that huh? You like that big dick baby?" He asked as he thrusted._

" _Manny, stop it!" She cried but it fell on deaf ears and he continued pummeling her relentlessly between her thighs as he held her was in so much pain and struggled to catch her breath with the force that he took her. "Oh god, please, you're hurting me!"_

Suddenly Zara looked up and saw Olivia, and ran to her, beyond excited. "Mommy!" She cried as Olivia came out of those thoughts and Zara jumped into her arms, Olivia hugging and kissing her, holding her on the side of her hip and would not put her down.

"Baby!" Olivia said, relieved as she hugged her tight, forgetting about her own pain.

"I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" She said with tears in her eyes.

"Why are you crying?" Zara asked and Olivia thought fast.

"Remember how daddy and I told you that carrying a baby made momma emotional sometimes?" Zara nodded yes as she wiped Olivia's tears. "Well, this is just that." She told the child and kissed her.

"Oh, I'll have to tell the baby not to make you cry."

"You're so sweet, peanut!"

"Hey Olivia." Manny said as he got up and came over to where she stood in the kitchen. She felt her skin crawl at him being next to her much less saying her name and nervously turned her attention back to Zara.

"Where's daddy?" She asked as she carried Zara into the living room and sat down in the large chair with Zara on her lap but before she could answer, Manny cut in.

"He got called back to work, asked if I could stay with Zara until you got home." He said, coming back towards her.

"Tio!" Zara whined playfully.

"I'm sorry Carino. So, how are you Olivia?" _Jesus, she looks good! She's fucking glowing!_

"Zara, why don't we go and get your bath and you can tell me all about zoo." She smiled to the child. This was definitely Zara's favorite part of the day even though it didn't last long. But, she got to spend time with Olivia, unwind, and talk about the day. And that, to her was better than anything she could imagine.

"Yay!" See you later uncle Manny." She said as Olivia carried her to her room.

"Later babe." When Olivia was gone, he blew out a breath. "She's still mad at me; seven damn weeks, and she's still mad! Damn, this woman can hold a grudge...and a man's attention!"

A few minutes later as she was running Zara's bath, she left the child in the room with her dolls and shut the door partway as she went into the living room.

"What are you doing here?" She asked Manny.

"No hello?"

"No. What are you doing here?"

"Here here, or?"

"Really?"

"Look, I just; I had some downtime and I thought I'd come and visit my mom."

"So why aren't you there?"

"Uh, Nick lives in this city too, or don't I have the right to see my brother and Niece?" Olivia laughed when he said that, shaking her head and pursing her lips at the irony.

"Okay. How about you tell me why you're _really_ here, because we both know that your little _I miss mommy_ story is full of shit!"

"So what if it is? Is it such a crime that I came to New York to see you?"

"Don't even. Do you realize the utter hell I've been living because of you? Because of what we did? You don't belong here, just go back to Miami and leave me alone!"

"You know I can't do that."

"Manny; I am begging you-" and she was. In spite of the fact of what happened between them, but if she needed to beg to get him away from Nick and away from this city, so be it.

"Is this my baby?"

"What?" She was completely knocked over in spite of expecting that he would but to actually _hear_ it…

"You heard me. That baby you're carrying; is it mine?" He watched her as her eyes looked down a second before looking back up and she prepared her mouth to speak. "And before you lie, Nick told me that you were five weeks along 2 weeks ago, so that puts you at seven now. Seven weeks ago is exactly when we made love!"

" _Mommy…"_ Zara called.

"I'll be right there, peanut!" She called back then lowered her voice again and turned to Manny. "We didn't make love!"

"Is. This. My. Baby?" He asked and reached out to touch her stomach.

"Don't you touch me; don't ever touch me! This is Nick's baby, not yours!" She said angrily, pushing his hand away.

"What is it with you? One minute you're practically insisting that I fuck your brains out and the next-"

"Don't! Just…"

"You can't tell me that you don't miss me!" He said as he put his hands on her shoulders from behind and rubbed them up and down. She quickly stepped away, fighting every urge in her to knock him on his ass.

"I told you, do not. Touch me. Now I have to bathe my daughter, so get the hell out of my house!" This time she left no room for argument, and viciously stared him down.

He stood there for a moment, looking her up and down, his eyes inhaling her every inch before he finally settled on her face and smiled at her. "You're gorgeous when you're mad!" He said, then grabbed his keys, smirking as he left and making her feel filthy. She quickly went to lock the door, leaning up against it and felt tears trickle down her cheeks but faster than fast she wiped them away and went to Zara's room, not giving them a second to set in.

Out in the hall, Manny stood there, waiting for the elevator and smiling to himself.

"This is definitely going to be interesting!"

* * *

 **TBC...**


	15. The Deeper The Hole Goes

**Chapter 15**

* * *

.

She stayed up that night thinking, long after Zara had fallen asleep. Sitting there after she'd taken a long hot shower to try to wash away the day, wash away the stench that Manny had left on her skin. She sat alone in the living room, in the dark, just contemplating this whole situation. She couldn't let this go on; she's known, even without being told that she was doing the wrong thing, and now, with Manny just popping up out of nowhere she felt like she was suffocating!

 _I should have told him when it happened. I shouldn't have let it get this far…_

But she did. She never meant to let it but somehow it got away from her and now… She was scared out of her thoughts by her phone ringing. "Hello, Benson…" She answered but didn't get an answer. "Hello?"

It came low, but clear. That voice unmistakable. "Please, don't hang up!"

For the second time that day, she froze. "Why are you calling me?"

"I need to see you."

"Yeah? Well that's not gonna happen-"

"Baby, what is it with you? Is it being pregnant that's made you bitter towards me? Nearly two months ago, you were literally begging me to fuck your goddamn brains out! You remember that? Cumming on my dick, all over the shower; the bed sheets while I -"

"Don't!"

"And then the next day, after you let me fuck you again, you threw a coffee mug at me and kicked me out!"

"And you wonder why?"

"Yeah, actually, I do! Do you know what it's like to have the woman you love-"

"What?"

"I said I love you! And you being mad at me for whatever reason- Liv, I came back here for one reason, and that's to make you see who the better brother is!"

"Are you insane? I know who the better brother is, I have his rings on my finger; and I'm having his child! I admit, I messed up, I had to find out what it would be like to have you and I've regretted it every moment since!"

"You don't mean that!"

"You bastard, you raped me and you act like it's noth-"

"Raped? Whoa, I have never; rape?!" He was truly thrown by her accusation; yes, he'd thought that the sex was a bit rough, maybe a little possessive on his part, but rape? "You hit me with that coffee mug because you thought I raped you?! Olivia, what the hell? I've never raped anybody, and I sure as hell don't need to!"

"I don't believe this." She said as she shook her head. She'd known. She'd told herself that he didn't think he'd done anything wrong but to hear him _say it?_ "you honestly think that I wanted that? I told you to stop, that you were hurting me."

"You were in my room, in a short shirt with no bra, and no panties on! And you also said stop the day before, too! You said it a million times but in the end, you still gave it up, hell if I recall right, and I do. You also told me it hurt and it was too much then, but it didn't stop you from cumming like crazy and you came a lot, didn't you?"

"I should never have started this; not this conversation, not that morning-"

"I see what this is. You're scared because you ended up with a situation that you didn't count on so you put that whole rape thing in your head to tell yourself that it wasn't on purpose. But baby, it's okay. I know what we had; how you let me touch your body, kiss and lick your body; suck your body… You remember how good it felt when i spread you? Pushed my big cock inside that tight, beautiful little pussy of yours? You remember that?"

"Stop it!" She cried in a whisper. Not wanting to wake Zara.

"-how you scratched my back as you held onto me. How your body held me so tight when you came and how the next day, you came so hard that you nearly blacked out?"

"I didn't want any part of that!" Her mind going back to it and her body feeling it. She just wanted him to stop; he was hurting her and she just wanted him to stop. She had no control over what her body...

"Good luck telling my brother that; that is what this is about, right? You telling Nick? See the problem with that is, I know what it was, and so will he. And Nick's big on loyalty so he won't understand and he won't forgive you. You know why? Because Nick believes that when you make a commitment, whether in word or deed, that commitment binds you. Believes it in his soul. He doesn't understand that once in awhile, you see something that you just have to have. I mean, do you think for one minute that he'd ever cheat on you? He's not built that way, he doesn't understand that humans are not made for monogamy!" He laughed. All the while, Liv sat thinking as her tears rolled down her face...

 _"The Prescott case we've been working for the last two weeks; I've been keeping in touch with the girlfriend while we're investigating and I went by her place today to tell her about a lead we got on her boyfriend's murder… she kissed me."_

 _"She kissed you? How did she kiss you?" She waited for an answer and when he didn't reply… "How did she kiss you, Nick?"_

 _"It was on the mouth; but I swear I didn't kiss her back!" But she sat there, looking at him with her emotions working overtime and she wondered whether she should believe him. "I pushed her off me, told her that I'm very married, and I left. I told my Captain about it immediately when I got back to the precinct and that was it. Liv, you gotta believe me, nothing happened!"_

"...so go ahead, tell him and see how fast he throws you out on that pretty ass of yours. I'll be waiting for it! Goodnight Olivia." And he hung up, Olivia throwing the candy dish against the wall and it shattering to pieces as she lowered her head in her hands and wept.

* * *

Nick never made it home that night, calling and letting her know that he'd be pulling an all nighter at the precinct and Olivia didn't sleep much. Between replaying that conversation in her head with Manny, and realizing that he was right. How could she go to Nick at this point? No matter what she said to him, he'd never forgive her and she didn't blame him!

12:17am but she had to talk to somebody, now, and prayed that it wasn't too late to call Casey as she dialed.

"What happened?" Casey answered, almost as if she had been waiting for Olivia to call.

"Were you asleep, at all?"

"I couldn't. Not after our talk this afternoon. What's wrong?"

"I really need a drink right now."

"What? Liv, where are you?"

"I'm at home...don't worry, I'm not going to drink."

"Liv, do you need me to come over?"

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore; I didn't know what I was doing then and everything is falling apart!" She said with tears in her eyes. "Casey, he's back."

"He; Manny?"

"I got home and found him sitting in my living room. Apparently Nick got called into work and Manny was watching Zara until I got home..."

* * *

Nick had gotten home from work the next morning right as Olivia opened the door, she and Zara heading out for the day. Olivia still hadn't slept much and she looked as tired as Nick did.

"Nick." She said as he had his key, prepared to stick it in the door. God she just couldn't be near him right now, not with the guilt she was feeling!

"Daddy!" Zara said, so happy that she got to see him before she left as she jumped into his arms.

"Hey baby." He planted a kiss on her cheek before he kissed Olivia. She thinking of a reason to get out of there.

"I wish I had time to chat but I'm gonna be late! You're not headed back to work are you?"

"No, no I'm gonna get some much needed sleep. Have a good day at school mi amor." He said and kissed Zara again before putting her down then turned to Olivia. "I'll see you later mami. Have a good time at the movies."

"We will. Come on peanut."

The day that followed was hard. Between busy hours at work, but her mind in another place, she couldn't wait to get off early to pick Zara up from school and spend the day with her. At least then she could lose herself in her daughter and for a few hours, forget about what was troubling her. She was just thankful that in her haze, she was able to focus enough to get through the day without making any mistakes but she got out of there quickly, thankful that nothing had come up before she left.

* * *

"Yeah, hello?" Nick said, answering the phone as he sat in the kitchen eating a sandwich. He had just woken up after sleeping practically the whole day and he found himself starving.

"Hey, listen. I'm leaving mom's right now, but how about we hit the pool hall, make up for yesterday? You busy?"

"No, actually I'm home."

"Oh. Is Olivia there?" He said, just thinking about her drove him crazy.

"Took Zara out. Yeah man, I'll take a shower and be ready by the time you're here."

"Sounds like a plan. See you in 30!"

* * *

She and Zara had ice cream before the movie. Zara asking her so many questions about her new baby brother or sister.

"Does the baby like ice cream?" She asked as she put a spoonful in her mouth.

"I think right now, ice cream is the only thing it likes." She laughed and Zara smiled.

"Mommy, when the baby comes, will you and daddy still love me?"

"Of course we will, baby. Why would you think that we wouldn't?"

"Regina said that the new baby will get all the attention and you won't care about me."

"Well, I don't think you'll have to worry about that. Your dad and I have more than enough love for both of you, and besides; you were first!" She said as she poked Zara's nose, making the child laugh. "What do you say we get going? The movie is gonna be starting soon."

"Yeah."

"Yeah? Come on!" She said and took Zara's hand, leading her down the street as they talked and laughed.

* * *

Later that evening with Nick and Manny at the pool hall…

"I remember this one girl" Manny said as Nick sipped his beer before he bent down to the table to take a shot. "She was..." He said, and Nick laughed. "We had just finished gettin it in when her man showed up. Quick fast, she pushes me to climb out on the fire escape just as he was coming in."

"You get caught?"

"No, but I did leave my underwear behind, that's when I stopped wearing them!" They laughed heartily, Nick missing his shot. "Hey, 2 more." Manny said to the waitress when she came by.

"You are such a dog!" Nick laughed.

"Yeah right. Who do you think I got my ways from? You were not always so innocent!"

"Ah, but I never got with with somebody who had a man!" He said as Manny prepared to take his shot.

"Never?"

"Never!"

"You're too good, brother. Pussy that's spoken for is the best pussy there is!" He said and hit the ball, making a split as the waitress came back with their beers.

"Thank you honey." Nick said and tipped her. "You're crazy!" He laughed at Manny.

"I'm not, take this one mamacita. Man, she just; pow in all the right places. Caderas, culo...titties like oh my god, she was stacked. Got a man."

" _Got_ a man?"

"I'm working on having her again. Man, the sex?" He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and smiled. "Crazy! I fucked her for hours, had her screaming and cumming, and screaming and cumming, I mean hours. Oh my god! But mano, she took it like a champ, begged me for more!" He said, took a sip and made another shot. All the while, Nick laughed, having no idea that Manny was talking about his wife!

* * *

Later that night, Nick was just getting in from a night out with Manny, and Olivia was in the kitchen making a cup of tea when he the two of them came in the front door.

"Nick, baby…" She suddenly stopped cold. Not expecting to see Manny there as he and Nick entered from the hall.

"I'm just gonna pee and get going!" Manny said as he turned the corner to see Olivia sitting there in her pajamas, consisting of palazzo pants and a tank top without a bra. "Hey Olivia."

"Emmanuel." She said coldly as he excused himself to the bathroom.

"I didn't expect you'd be up." Nick said and kissed her. "Everything okay?" He asked as he pulled her close and felt her stomach.

"We're fine. I just couldn't sleep." She said as she looked towards the bathroom, which Nick noticed.

"You sure?"

In the bathroom, Manny couldn't help it as he peed to think about Olivia's breasts. He remembered the way they'd bounced as he slammed her up and down on his cock. He'd never seen anything so perfect! _Man her nipples are fucking huge! Hell, her titties are fucking huge! I bet if I pinched them together- "_ Dude no time for those thoughts!" He whispered. _Though I bet pregnancy has her pussy extra juicy!_

"...you just seem...far away." He said as he wrapped her in his arms from behind.

"It's nothing." She said, leaning into him as he kissed her neck. As much as she didn't want to face him, when he held her like this, it made all of her problems seem like they didn't exist, that it was just them. And she wished so hard that it was true.

"So, I'm gonna get going." Manny announced as he came from the bathroom.

"You sure? You could stay, we still have the extra bed for now." Nick said as he held Olivia.

"You know what? I'd better go." Manny refused, looking at Olivia _Damn, I should be the one holding her!_ who broke from Nick's embrace and went into the bedroom.

"You know, I actually think it's best on second thought." Nick told him as he looked back at their room.

After Manny had left, Nick came into the bedroom, looking like he had done something that he shouldn't have and wanted to get it off his chest. While Olivia looked exactly the same. She couldn't do it. Regardless of what Manny said, or what she knew herself would happen, she couldn't take the guilt anymore and she decided that she had to confess everything to Nick and just deal with the consequences, whatever they were and she prayed that in the end, somehow he'd forgive her.

"Nick; I need to tell you something."

"I need to tell you something too; I know what you're going to say."

"You do?" Now she was panicking. Had Manny told him? They were alone for a long time while she was out with Zara. _What exactly did they talk about?_ She wondered.

"I do." She looked at him, seeing the seriousness etched on his face and she knew that it was important. "I saw your face when Manny was here just now and it told me a lot. Liv, I should've been honest with you."

"With me?" Now she was confused.

"I know what you wanted to tell me and I just feel like I should explain."

" _You_ should explain?"

"Come here." He said and took her hands, sitting her on his lap. "Liv, I want you to know… When I was with Zara's; Maria, we had a lot of problems, a big one being that she ran around with so many men; even she was pregnant. When Zara was born, we weren't even sure that she was mine! And after Maria left and I was raising Zara by myself; I didn't think that I'd ever wanna be with anybody, she just hurt us so bad. Liv you have to understand that my sisters, they were just looking out for me; then after we got engaged I guess I got caught up."

"What are you...?"

"I know that Manny hit on you while he was here that time before the wedding." The look on Olivia's face.

"You what?"

"I asked him to and I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this all this time. I know how you must have struggled with whether or not to tell me-"

"You have no idea!"

"It was two weeks before the wedding and I was listening to Mari and Vida; I told Manny to put the moves on you but it was just the one time! He made a pass that morning, and told me nothing happened and that was it. I swear. I just wanted to be sure that I was doing the right thing, I had Zara to worry about-"

"So you didn't know if you were doing the right thing when you decided that I was good enough to be around Zara, or when you proposed marriage, or when we moved in together, but two weeks before our wedding…"

"Liv, I'm sorry! I just, I wanted to be honest with you before you adopted Zara!"

"You wanted to be honest with me? How about you, wait, ado- you what are you talking about?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise. I finally got all the paperwork done. I'm just sorry that it wasn't in time for our wedding but, Liv, I already talked about it with Zara and she's beyond excited. Everything's ready this Thursday if you'll say yes. I want you to be Zara's mom all the way and so does she. Will you say yes and adopt her?"

"Nick...yes baby! Yes!" She cried and turned to hug him tight. Forget the pain in her breasts or even Manny for that matter. Forget what she had decided to confess to him! She, in three days was going to adopt Zara, she was going to be her mom! "I love you!" She cried as they kissed. "I love you so much!"

* * *

 **Another chance not taken. Boy she's digging herself in deep!**


	16. Confessions

**Chapter 16, sorry for the wait. I didn't have time to write but I wanted to get you guys an update before the years end so thankfully I got this in. Dick Wolf owns. Enjoy.**

* * *

Funny thing about guilt; it never goes away. Sure, you can try to ignore it, or do things to appease it, but in the end it's always right there. And unless you confess and really deal with it, it'll always be like a monster, haunting you.

Nick dealt with his guilt. He took what he'd done and he laid it all out, in spite of the fallout that would come from it because in the end, he loved Olivia, and the thought of there being secrets, even one that hurt no one, he couldn't bear it and so, he confessed.

 _"Nick...yes baby! Yes!" She cried and turned to hug him tight. "I love you!" She cried as they kissed. "I love you so much!"_

Was what she wanted to say to him, but did he really just tell her that he _asked_ Manny to hit on her to prove if she was loyal?

"I can't believe I'm hearing you!"

"Liv…"

"Do you know what you've done?" She asked rhetorically as she stood up and walked the room.

"I do and I'm so sorry!"

"No, Nick. You don't!"

"Look, I admit, it was stupid"

"Hella stupid, what, you don't trust me?" She asked blindly.

"Mami, of course I do!"

 _Damn him!_ He knew that calling her that was like kryptonite to her. He usually called her that when he was fucking her se- _"Don't lose focus Olivia!"_ She reminded herself as she looked at him. He had those puppy dog eyes that she could never resist.

"Look" he said as he put his arms around her waist but she refused to look at him. "Olivia, please." But she picked up her eyes and broke his hold on her, trying hard to plaster anger across her face while she took a few steps away from him. Nick gave a look of defeat that he knew he deserved but he continued on. "I realized the moment I did it how stupid it was. I was wrong to listen to my sisters, I don't know...after a year and a half of hearing them, I guess I just gave in to what they were saying."

"So is that what they think of me? That I'm some kind of strumpet?!"

"My sisters adore you, right along with my mother, Liv, you know this. It wasn't really about you, it was about me and Zara; they just didn't wanna see either of us get hurt. Especially Zara seeing as you're the first woman outside of the family that she's ever had a relationship with and I- look, I was wrong to put you and my brother in that position!"

"Your brother-" But she quickly caught herself and put her hand to her mouth when she felt bile rising. _She thought of that morning when she slept with him voluntarily; how he absolutely ravaged her body, fucking her so good and then just that fast, it turned into something ugly and painful the very next day! She could still feel his hands on her wrists, on her clit, her breasts. Holding her down, manipulating her, squeezing and sucking…_

"Babe… Hey, are you okay?" He asked her.

"I'll - I'm fine I just…Nick you have to swear to me that this is it!"

"It is! Olivia, mami I love you, and it's been killing me, holding that in; I feel like I broke your trust in us and for that, I can't put into words how sorry I am." There were fresh tears in his eyes that he didn't try to hide which made her get teary. She reached out and used her hand to caress his cheek and he immediately took it in his and kissed it before he held it to his heart. "I'm sorry." it came out low but when he looked into her eyes, she couldn't stay angry.

"I forgive you. And I want nothing more than to adopt Zara, and be her mom, you know that nothing would make me happier! But we need to talk about something." It was now or never. She knew that. She also knew that she couldn't keep lying to him; the truth would come out and while she knew that he'd be devastated, he had to know. But of course, like anytime she'd tried to talk to him lately, his phone rang.

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Nick…"

"One second!" He said as he answered. "Yeah, Amaro?"

Liv sat there feeling her stomach. She wouldn't back down this time. She'd do it, she'd tell him. No matter if it made her nauseous just thinking about it. She did this and she had to tell him the truth. It was the only way to try and fix this. _"...Nick believes that when you make a commitment, whether in word or deed, that commitment binds you. He believes it in his soul."_

"Captain… It's just that I'm having a… No, no; I'll be right there. Liv, baby I'm sorry!"

"There isn't anyone else that could take this?"

"The vic asked for me personally. Listen, I promise, I will be back tonight and we'll talk about this, I promise."

"But Nick-"

"I promise you!" He said and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "I gotta go; I'm sorry."

"Dammit!" She said when he had left. Tears in her eyes.

* * *

Later that night, alone and so confused, she finally went to bed surprisingly falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and went into a dream.

" _Oh god...Nick, it's too much!" She cried. She tried to breathe, to pace herself, but with they way they were sawing in and out of her…_

" _Oh baby, you can take it." Manny said from underneath her where she was lying on his chest. Her legs were splayed indecently while his very large cock was in her ass and plowing her to the hilt while Nick was on top of her, his equally large member ravaging her cunt at the same time._

" _Nick!"_

" _Isn't this what you wanted, mami? To have us both?"_

" _I didn't-"_

" _Of course you did!" Manny cut in. "Dude, puedo sentir tu polla!" He said as they laughed._

" _Come on mami, just enjoy it!" Nick said before he slammed his mouth onto hers in a very Wet, very sloppy tongue kiss and took her hard and deep. He grabbed her hair while he took her. Manny grabbed her breasts from beneath, pulling her nipples and fucking her even harder and to her surprise, she began to moan in enjoyment. Liking the sensations of what they were doing to to her and wanting more as she spread her legs even wider, wrapping them around Nick while opening herself up for them both._

" _FUCK ME!"_

" _Now that's it! Ooh you are such a nasty girl!" Manny said._

" _God this must be what heaven feels like!" She thought, tears streaming her face as the intensity took over and she cried her pleasure. "Oh my god! Oh god, fuck I'm gonna c-cum!" she screamed just mere seconds before she did; powerfully, her juices running down her folds as she howled, needing them to stop but there was zero chance of that happening._

" _Look at that!" Nick smiled as he fucked her even harder. She was fully gone at this point. Screaming at the top of her lungs but somewhere in a haze as Manny began rubbing her clit…_

She woke up sweating with a start, a deep gasp to take in air as she lay there in the darkness and sweet cool air of the room. _What the hell was that?_ She asked herself out loud. She should have been asking herself why her nipples were harder than diamonds, forget the pebbles that had become her norm lately. She also should've been asking why she was on fire with her skin flushed, giant goosebumps and her wetness literally seeping out of her and onto the sheets even through her panties; thick, creamy, white and all over her thighs. She couldn't believe that she had just dreamt about him. Granted, it was Nick but he was there with them and even then she still got so hot. Even now that she was awake she'd had a hard time cooling down!

She didn't know why, but her hands found their way to her tank top where they very lightly caressed her breasts. Her fingers making circles over her already hardened nipples and sucking in a breath, wincing as she bit her lip as her fingertips pinched the tender flesh. She whimpered as she let her fingers dance about them. They were swollen and they hurt but _dear god_ _this felt so good!_ She thought as she let a hand slide down beneath the covers and into her panties, quickly slippng past her mound and plunging between her now wet and squishy folds. She couldn't believe she'd cum so much and immediately found her clit, already aching to be touched and she didn't prolong her agony, arching her back as she used two fingers to stroke the underside; too sensitive to touch the tip.

She didn't hear Nick's keys in the front door, in fact she was already so lost in the pleasure she was giving herself that she didn't hear him walk down the hall, or put his keys on the kitchen counter; she didn't even hear him enter the bedroom until the bed dipped. He was sitting there watching her and she lay there in shock, her hands frozen in place. "Nick!"

"Don't stop. You know how I love to see you make yourself cum." He smiled seductively but she was just dumbstruck at seeing him there. She knew that they needed to talk, feeling guilty that she even wanted to masturbate after the dream she'd had but at the same time, needing to get this out and her pussy was screaming at her to please finish!

"I was just…"

"Don't apologize." He said as he pulled her hand from her panties and put her fingers to his mouth, sucking from them the juices that covered them. "God you taste so good!" The feeling of his tongue against her fingers went straight to her pussy and it throbbed, making her moan. "Let me." He said as he slipped the covers down.

"Nick, baby-"

"Shhhh. Just lie back, let me get you off." She couldn't fight it as he kissed her stomach, going lower until he was at the juncture between her legs. He was surprised at the amount of liquid she had on her thighs that seeped from her panties, which were already soaked through and he proceeded to part her, licking her thighs clean before he tore her panties off with a flick of his wrist, the silk giving way instantly. He stared at the glistening treasure in front of him and gave it a long slow lap with his tongue, sucking her juices before he sucked her clit into his mouth all while she moaned her approval.

She was already done for but when he removed his mouth and took his hand, traveling her slit before he began to manipulate it with his fingers; rubbing her clit while he pumped her with the two that he slid inside of her, she was a mess!

He kissed her, slowly at first. Wanting to make her yearn for his kiss; to need it. She was already on fire with what he was doing to her down below and she couldn't wait, she quickly pulled him to her; kissing his lips, nipping and sucking them with no shortage of tongue between them. She thought then and there that if this would be the last time, they'd make it memorable.

Her breasts were against his chest as they kissed. Rubbing against his shirt getting even harder. though they hurt, she threw caution to the wind this time and begged him to suck them. She didn't have to beg much though as he lifted her tee shirt and feasted on them. She crying out as his mouth made contact with her nipple. God she didn't know which way was up, it felt so fucking incredible what he was doing to her body! His hands on her, inside her. His mouth devouring her. She wanted so much to scream, to cry, to let the whole damn building, hell the whole block know that he was owning her but with Zara in the next room…

"Nick...baby, I'm gonna… Oh my god!" She cried when she felt that familiar feeling in her stomach. She was going to cum hard and she arched her back, rising up off the bed and begging for more of his mouth and fingers. Jesus, how would she get through this when he hadn't even fucked her properly yet?

...

It was 3 in the morning when she came for the last time. She thought she'd pass out from it's power and now just lay, lazily on Nick's stomach after their lovemaking with him stroking her hair.

"That was intense!" He said.

She didn't wanna do it. She knew that if she chose to, this could all just be a non issue but then what of their baby? If Manny was the father it would come out sooner or later. He would see to it. She knew that he had told her that Nick wouldn't understand, but she couldn't go on like this. It was eating her Up, hurting her knowing that she'd done this to him. No, whatever the consequences, she had to come clean and pray to god that he'd somehow find it in his heart to forgive her. "Nick." She said, her heart in her stomach and in a barely there voice, but it was enough for him to hear her. "We need; I need to talk to you...it can't wait." When he felt her tears upon his stomach, he knew that something wasn't right.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, lifting her head and seeing her eyes. She looked lost. "Olivia? Baby, what is it?"

She quickly pulled away and got up, then went to pull on her robe. Nick was confused and hurried to put on his pants that were on the edge of the bed. "Babe, talk to me" Tears streamed her face as she sat down on the bench at the foot of the bed. "Liv?"

"I- you're gonna…" She cried.

"Liv stop, look at me!" He said and she hanged her head.

"I can't." She said quietly as her tears steadily fell.

"Why not? Liv nothing is so terrible that you can't tell me. Look at me baby; I love you, you know that!"

"I'm the one who broke our trust." Nick got look on his face that told him he'd better take a deep breath and calm down before he listened to what she had to say.

" _You broke our trust?_ What does that even mean?" He asked, much calmer than he felt and Olivia could see it. "Liv-"

"No...please, just listen to me. I…" She put her hands to her stomach and blew out a deep breath, suddenly feeling really nauseous and freaking Nick out. Her stomach was doing flips and he was frightened that something was wrong.

"Liv baby, are you in pain?!" he asked as he kneeled down beside her and put his hand on her stomach.

"No."

"Then?"

"Nick…" She said as she caressed his face. _Turn back Olivia. You can save this, walk away from it. Just go on and live your life, you Nick and,Zara. Don't do this!_ "I cheated." It came out. He barely heard her, but there it was. The truth, finally.

"What did you say?" He asked. Not believing that he heard her right.

She gathered the nerve to repeat it, somewhat louder this time and with tears in her eyes, she looked at him as she said it. "I cheated two weeks before our wedding." She said looking at the floor as she cried. But Nick, his face went blank and he had to sit down, thoroughly in shock. He was silent. With tears in his eyes and a look of obliteration about him. He couldn't believe this. No. She couldn't be telling him this! She cheated?

"This is what you wanted to say to me? To tell me this lie?"

"It's not a lie."

"Then it's a joke, Liv baby-"

"It's not!" She cried. "I'm so sorry. And I know that it doesn't fix it-"

"Why are you…this is a joke, you wouldn't-" He said with tears in his eyes that he couldn't hold back. "How could you do this to us?"

* * *

 **Damn!**


	17. Waking To A Nightmare

**Chapter 17**

* * *

.

" _Nick… I'm sorry…"_ She cried in her sleep. _"Nick please!"_ She suddenly, jolted awake, shedding tears and took a second to look around. It was just a dream she realized as she sat up in bed and ran a hand through her hair as she cried.

"Mommy…?" Zara called from the hall as she came into Nick and Olivia's room. She was already scared and Olivia hurried and turned on the lamp. "Mommy!" She started to cry.

"Zara…" She whispered as she wiped her eyes and got her bearings, reaching for the child. "Honey, what's wrong?" She said as she sat her on her lap and Zara immediately lay her head down on her chest and cried.

"I don't feel good!"

"What doesn't feel good?" Olivia asked as she felt her head for fever and was thankful when she didn't detect any.

"I had a bad dream."

"Oh baby!" She said as she kissed the little girl's head and held her tight. Zara already feeling better as she sat in Olivia's arms. "You wanna talk about it?" But Zara just shook her head, and grabbed Olivia's shirt, sinking her head further into Olivia's chest. Olivia smiled as she combed through Zara's hair with her fingers. "How about you sleep in here with me? I bet that would make the bad dreams go away."

"Can I?"

"Of course you can." She said and tucked herself and Zara under the covers of the bed with Zara laying on her chest. It hurt, she thought but Zara seemed comfortable there and so she bit her lip and dealt with it.

"Mommy…?"

"Yeah baby?"

"You wouldn't leave me, right?" Olivia, suddenly feeling a world of guilt even more, looked at Zara and hugged her tight.

"Oh honey, of course I wouldn't! Is that what you were dreaming about? That I left you?"

"It was scary." Zara said as she nodded.

"Well, you don't have to worry, okay? I promise you."

"Is it true what daddy said? That on Thursday you'll be my real, whole mommy after we go to the court?" She yawned.

"Would you like that?"

"More than anything. I can't wait!"

"Neither can I." She smiled. "How about you close your eyes and get some sleep, you have school in the morning."

"Kay. Goodnight mommy!"

"Goodnight peanut, sleep tight." She said as she lay there with Zara already on her way to sleep. Olivia turned her head to look at her phone, 2:17am and she took a deep breath as she put it back down on the nightstand. She couldn't keep going like this. She thought as she stroked Zara's hair, feeling her own eyes fill with tears. She couldn't as much as she wanted to, tell Nick the truth now.

Then there was that dream; he was so hurt. How could she cause him that? How could she ever have caused him that? _God, what was I thinking?!_ She thought to herself as she wiped her tears, thinking to herself for probably the thousandth time since she slept with Manny, _how could she?_ ⅔ of everything she ever wanted, she was holding in her arms and inside her. Even before the baby, Nick and Zara and she, they fit so perfectly together; this baby was an added blessing that she never expected even though it took some time to see it. Now, she was hanging on by a thread, wanting to confess her wrongdoings to her husband but having so much to lose.

She looked at the little girl laying on her breast and she couldn't help but smile. Nick wanted her to adopt her, she would in three days if nothing messed it up. _You can't do this. You can't tell him just yet. You have so much to lose!_ Her inner voice told her and she knew it was right, but - _but nothing! You'd better decide what you want, because you're holding all the cards!_ She was right, and so was Manny. He'd never get past this, just the heartbreak she saw on his face in that dream...

 _You have to hold it in a little longer, Olivia. Maybe forever!_

* * *

She'd tried since this whole thing with Manny began to be a good wife; better than what she already was in spite of a full time career. She'd cook and clean, make sure that Nick and Zara were always taken care of, made sure that Nick was never without sex whenever and _however_ he wanted, even if she herself was exhausted from the day. And being pregnant, exhaustion seemed to come too easily. Even before Manny, she was good. But now in trying to be perfect, there were cracks and the cracks were just getting larger every time she ignored her conscience and didn't tell Nick what she had done. Although the truth of the matter was, she meant to the day he told her about the adoption. But now,the adoption had happened already, and though she was so thankful to have Zara as her daughter, to finally be her mother, she couldn't help but feel like a betrayer.

Manny was still in town, and the day of Zara's adoption when they'd had a huge party at Caesarea's house to celebrate, he showed up and immediately put a damper on her mood. It was supposed to be a happy day but seeing him was just a reminder that she didn't need and she actually felt sick being near him.

She was in the kitchen after saying goodbye to Amanda, Fin, Cragen and Munch who had to get back to work, refilling one of the party platters when Nick came in.

"Mami, you shouldn't be lifting that, I got it!" He said as he relieved her hands of the weight and sat it down on the table.

"You're gonna spoil me."

"Good. You deserve it." He said as he put his arms around her. "Still sore?"

"Like you wouldn't believe, but don't stop hugging me!" She said as she put her head down on his shoulder and yawned. "I guess the little one wants me to rest."

"You should listen to him. Why don't you go to my mother's room and lie down for a bit? I'll make sure nobody bothers you."

"But the party-"

"Won't miss you for a half hour. Go."

...

Feeling rather worn out, she kissed Nick and went, shutting the door and kicking off her heels before she lay down on the bed and was asleep faster than she realized. Outside in the backyard, the party was still going strong as Nick came out with the refilled platter, Caesarea coming over to the table.

"Where's Olivia?"

"Uh, she's exhausted. I told her to take a nap in your room."

"Is she alright?"

"Mami, she's fine!" He said smiling. "Stop worrying."

"What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing. Do me a favor, tell the family not to disturb her. I'm gonna go and get more ice from the store." He said and kissed her before he Left, not knowing that Manny had heard him and was on his way to Caesarea's room.

...

A few minutes later after Nick had left, Emmanuel slipped from the backyard and went inside, quickly disappearing inside Caesarea's room and shutting the door, and locking it.

He looked around the room, surprised that he didn't see Olivia in bed and started to go out again when he heard her in the bathroom.

...

There was water running at the sink as Olivia spit out the mouthwash she had used after throwing up. She turned off the water once she was done and threw the hand towel in the hamper before she turned out the light and went out, nearly scared to death when Manny snuck up on her and she yelped.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" She whispered, her heart beating fast.

"I came to see you, I figured we could have a few minutes alone."

"You're insane!"

"Did I scare you? You look so sexy when you're fright-"

"Get out!" She said, walking towards the door to open it.

"Not so fast!" He grabbed her around the waist and drew her back and she suddenly had memories of that morning he raped her and tried to break away.

"Let me go or so help me god I'll scream!"

"No you won't" he said as he pinned her to the bed, her hands above her head. "Because then-" he put his mouth close to her ear and licked it before continuing. "everyone will know how we fucked and you wouldn't want our dirty little secret out to everyone out there!" Before she could respond, he took her lips in a passionate kiss, forcing his tongue in her mouth. As hard as she tried to get away, she couldn't move the way he had he secured beneath him and so in a last attempt, she bit his tongue and tried to knee him between the legs but he quickly caught her and separated her legs with his knees, making her skirt ride up.

"Get the hell off me!" She steamed as she fought to free herself but he had her pinned so tightly, she couldn't move.

"You are so sexy when you're riled up; god I love that!" He said as he undid her blouse, marveling at her breasts the way they looked in her bra. It was sheer black lace and he practically drooled. "You're so beautiful Olivia, do you know that!" He said and began kissing her neck, making his way down her breasts and bit her nipple through the fabric of her bra before he began sucking it, but the pain was so great that she drew in a sharp breath as she started to cry.

"Get off of me! I don't want This; STOP IT!"

"Come on baby, you know you do!" He said as his hand made its way between her legs and began pulling her panties as her whole body struggled. That's right baby, fight me!" He said as he ripped off her panties and released her hands. He began stroking her clit but she was quick, and scratched him across the face, then hit him _hard_. When he shifted to cup it, she gave him a very painful knee to the groin and scurried from the bed as he sank to the floor in a ball and in a world of pain.

"Don't you EVER touch me!" She screamed, breathing hard while holding her blouse together, then kicked him in the balls before grabbing her shoes and running from the room. She stopped halfway down the hall to catch her breath when she felt the nausea coming back and swallowed the gush that forced its way up while holding her stomach. Then she let out a few tears but quickly wiped them away.

...

In the bedroom, Manny was getting up from the floor, and fixed his clothes before he touched his cheek and the three long, bloody scratches that now adorned it and he went over to the mirror to get a look.

"Reminds me of my back after that first time!" He remembered with a sly smile on his face. "God you're so damn feisty Olivia!" He said before picking up her torn panties and stuffing them in his pocket then retreating to the bathroom to clean the scratches.

* * *

In the backyard Olivia came out of the house, Zara immediately leaving her aunt Vida's arms and running to her.

"Mommy!" She cried as Olivia lifted her into her arms. "I thought daddy said you were sleeping."

"I was, but I missed you so much!" She said as she kissed her.

"I missed you too."

"Hey, babe. You okay?" Nick said as he put his arm around her waist and she flinched, a move that didn't go unnoticed by Nick. And when she didn't answer, Nick was worried; put that on top of her looking sickly, nervous even. "Zara, por qué no vas a jugar con tus primos un poco?"

"Okay." She answered, quickly jumping down from Olivia's arms and running off across the yard.

"What's wrong?" He turned to Olivia and she got teary. Just then, Manny came out into the yard and when Olivia saw him, she was thankful that the doorbell rang at precisely that minute.

"I'll get it." She said, walking away before Nick could stop her.

"Manny; que le pasó a tu cara?" Nick heard his mother ask from across the yard as he watch Olivia leave.

"Mami, it's nothing!" He said as Nick came over to look at his face.

"Wow" he said then whistled at the deep scratches on his brother's face. "That looks bad."

"Yeah... I went out to take a call and I ran into a girl that I was supposed to call back." He said as Nick looked at him. "You know how chicks can be!" He grinned.

"Yeah, don't I know." He said as he looked at Olivia who had re entered the yard with Casey.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	18. Lies on Lies

**Chapter 18**

* * *

.

Manny was quick to get out of his mother's house, glad that he got a call from the club he was overseeing the making of, and quickly getting out of there. With Nick watching him and Olivia giving him the eye, it was getting a bit too close for comfort and he was thankful that he had somewhere to go.

He was on his way to Manhattan in the cab and he couldn't stop thinking about her; removing her torn panties from his pocket and putting them to his nose to sniff them. God, they smelled so damn erotic; so like her. Her perfume, faint, but so undeniably there and unbelievably sexy.

He inhaled them for another moment, thinking of how he had her so close. She was beneath him and he could feel her warmth the more she struggled. And when he bit her nipple and took it in his mouth before he got his hands on her panties and ripped them off. Touching her there. He touched a hand to his face, feeling the scratches she gave him and he smiled before he quickly put them back in his pocket when he saw that he had arrived at his destination, wondering just when he'd get the chance to be alone with her again.

* * *

"What is going on?" Casey asked as she finally got a moment alone with Olivia.

"It's really more than I can say right now."

"Liv-"

"Casey" They were suddenly cut short when Nick came over and Casey's phone alerted her to a message.

"Shhh, I gotta go!" Casey said as she looked at her phone. "Nick, it was good seeing you again, congratulations again you guys."

"You too Casey. And thank you." Nick said as he kissed her cheek.

"Call me!" Casey said to Olivia as she was walking out.

"I will." She said as Nick wrapped her in his arms from behind, resting his hands on her stomach, that was surprisingly getting a curve to it only 2 months into her pregnancy. She smiled but it was short-lived as she felt her nausea coming back big time. She put a hand to her stomach and rested against Nick, waiting for it to pass.

"You okay?" He asked as he lovingly let his hands glide over her tiny belly.

"I'm fine, and if you don't stop, everyone's gonna know." She loved the way Nick was so excited about having this new little person; it made her heart swell to think of the love he already for this baby and she again thought _'but what if it's not his?'_ "

"Wouldn't be so bad, telling them a month early… Baby?" The nausea suddenly got worse, vomit quickly coming up and she threw Nick's hands off her and ran inside.

"Oh my god! I can't believe I didn't notice!" Vida said as she came over.

"Notice what?" He said, looking back at the house.

"Notice what? She's pregnant!"

"She's not; Dammit Vida! Just-" He semi-shouted before running into the house.

...

They were both surprised when they came from the bathroom and went outside, Olivia feeling much better after throwing up. Nick's mom and sisters were all standing around outside in a group.

"Oh; hey!" Olivia said, looking back at Nick nervously.

"Olivia, sweetie..." Caesarea said in her nicest voice. "Is there something you wanna tell us, maybe?"

"Tell you? I don't…" And she subconsciously reached for her shirt to pull it over her belly but remembered that it was a waist length wrap blouse, nothing to pull.

"They know." Came from Nick in a lowered tone.

"So it is true?" Marisol asked. The four of them waiting on an answer. Olivia looked back at Nick as he looked at her, his eyes smiling and he held her hand and kissed it.

"I'm pregnant!"

* * *

"I'd better put her down." Nick said as he and Liv walked into their apartment. Zara had fallen asleep at his mother's house as they were preparing to leave amidst everyone still happy and going crazy over the baby news.

"Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower."

"You feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, stop worrying." He smiled at her as he looked in her eyes.

"I'll be right in, lemme get this one settled." He said and gave Liv a quick kiss on the lips before she disappeared into their bedroom and shut the door as he went to Zara's room.

...

Later, after managing to get Zara dressed in her pajamas without waking her, he quickly put her down and under the covers, being sure to put her stuffed unicorn in with her and turned out the light.

"Goodnight mi amor." He said as he turned to leave but heard a very low and sleepy:

"Daddy?"

"Yeah baby?" He whispered.

"Thank you for giving me a mommy. I love you." He was suddenly shook up, taking a minute to collect himself before he finally said with tears in his voice.

"I love you too baby, so much! Get some sleep." He said, she already on her way.

He took out his phone when he got out into the hall and couldn't help looking at the picture that was his home screen. It was a picture of Zara and Olivia on the day they got married. They didn't know the photographer was looking at them as they danced and Olivia held Zara. They looked at each other with so much love, it could have lit the whole city! He smiled, and just as quickly his thoughts turned as he was about to turn to he and Olivia's room when he wondered for the umpteenth time since he saw Manny with those scratches across his face and Olivia behaving so strangely just what the hell happened? The whole rest of the day, the family was always around them, buzzing about the baby so he couldn't ask her. Then when they finally left, she fell asleep in the car, lying peacefully on his shoulder and he didn't have the heart to wake her. The whole ride home though, he had his head filled with questions as he looked at her.

...

In the bathroom, Olivia had set the water extra hot, hoping to wash Manny off of her. As she stood rinsing the suds away from her hair after scrubbing her body, she was crying. This was supposed to be Zara's special day and he rained on it with what he'd done. He had come so close to raping her again; he was between her legs and had torn her panties off and she just discovered that his little bite to her breast had broken the skin around her nipple but she was just thankful that it didn't draw blood! He had his filthy hands on her, and if she hadn't gotten away- _you set this in motion!_ She told herself. _If you had never opened that door to begin with, had never given him the right to you to begin with…_ But it didn't matter. In her head she knew this but in her heart- all she could think was how maybe she deserved this for what she'd done to her relationship; for what she'd done to Nick. Maybe this was the universe's way of divine intervention for her being greedy and selfish and ruining something so perfect but still, she was so angry at him for what he'd done!

She still remembered that dream where she very willingly gave herself to both brothers at the same time. Just the thought that she was still screwing him in her dreams made her feel so dirty! Thought of him, the man that once made her crave him, now sickened her, and now there was this baby that she wasn't even sure was Nick's or Manny's or how exactly how she'd get a paternity test since she'd need to test both men being brothers. _God you really fucked up!_ Why didn't she just tell him everything on Monday? She thought as she reached for the conditioner but touched her stomach instead and she smiled. The little swell to her stomach that she wondered how it could be at only eight weeks but she loved it. Even if this turned out to be her worst fear and Manny was the father, she already loved this baby just like she loved its sister, still not being able to believe that she'd adopted Zara today. When the judge signed the papers and then congratulated her and Zara, it was a surreal moment. A moment that could be ruined if she doesn't stop Manny!

...

Nick sat thinking about everything that happened today. Zara's adoption was such an emotional thing for everyone, especially Olivia. She never stopped crying since they'd gotten up that morning and then there was that issue with Manny.

Try as he might, he couldn't put it out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. The way Olivia reacted. She was, to say the least, unsettled and he knew that there was a lot more to it. He saw the way she nearly jumped out of her skin when Manny came out of the house and into the backyard. Though she tried to hide it, she was frightened.

"But I know Olivia" He told himself. "If something were wrong, she'd tell me!" But would she?

...

Finally out of the shower, she had turned off the water, squeezing the excess from her hair, then dried off and left the bathroom, tucking the towel loosely and turning out the light on the way. She got to the bedroom though, and she didn't know if it was just a case of her overthinking all the shit about Manny and being preoccupied, or just her not paying attention, but she was immediately scared nearly to death.

"Nick; Jesus! You scared the shit out of me!" She said as she put a hand to her chest, breathing deep. He was sitting on the bed and in deep thought when she entered the room.

"I'm sorry mami." He apologized. "Have you been crying?"

"Oh, no. I- I got a bit of shampoo in my eyes and it stung pretty bad." She lied.

"You okay now?" He said with concern as he got up from where he was sitting on the bed and came to her, and lovingly kissed her eyes.

"I'm fine; really."

"You sure?"

 _No._ "I'm sure." She said before she reluctantly kissed him, then turned and opened her drawer and took out a cotton chemise nightgown to put on while Nick went back to staring at her.

"Liv; earlier today, did something happen that I should know about?" She was taking off her towel but then she froze. Thankful that her back was to him, because she wasn't sure exactly what her face said at that moment.

"What do you mean?" She said. She quickly put on her nightgown then headed for the bathroom to put her towel in the hamper. Nick followed her.

"I mean, I saw the way you reacted when my brother came near you today." But she ignored him, continuing on her way out of the bathroom and he again followed. "Baby, I saw those scratches on his face; and I think you put them there."

"Nick; I-"

"Listen to me okay?" He said as he took her hands and sat her down in the chair, kneeling in front of her. "I'm not angry, and I won't be. I just need you to tell me the truth," His tone was calm, concerned; sweet even, though she didn't deserve it and she looked away, her eyes quickly filling with tears as her nausea suddenly came back, hard.

"I'm so sorry!" She said, almost in a whisper as her tears fell.

"Sorry? Baby, tell me." He could feel himself becoming heated and he swore, in that moment on everything that was holy that he would kill Manny! "Olivia, look at me!" He said, trying so hard to keep his rage in check for her sake. "Did he do something? Just tell me."

Olivia was still so enraged at what happened earlier, she just wanted Manny to feel like she had; like he forced her to feel twice. Violated. She didn't care that she'd still owe Nick an explanation down the line, no, Manny had to pay for what he'd done and it was this line of thinking that almost lead her to raise her head and say, _he raped me!_ But she thought about it, she didn't want to ruin Nick's relationship with his brother.

"Nothing happened. Manny isn't the reason I was upset, he didn't do anything to me."

Now he was confused, and at this point, not sure if he believed her. "What do you mean?" He asked, trying to understand.

"I'm sorry because I realize after all this time, you thought it was your brother. Nick, I just; I've been having these really bad dreams lately, and I had one when I tried to take a nap at your mom's house; it scared me pretty bad and that's why I was so jumpy. I'm so sorry that-" But Nick took her in his arms and held her.

"All this time I thought that Manny… Babe, I'm so sorry. I saw you on edge and then Manny with the scratches and I just- man I owe him an apology."

"How about you give him that later? Right now, I really need some attention."

"Oh yeah? What'd you have in mind?" He said, feeling frisky. She quickly shot him down with her answer.

"A big bowl of chocolate ice cream from the kitchen."

"Hungry?"

"Starving."

"I'll be right back." He said then kissed her before he left the room.

"Dammit Olivia!" She mumbled.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	19. Everything Isn't Always As It Seems

**Chapter 19, Dick Wolf owns. Enjoy.**

* * *

.

The next morning, with Nick having left for work already, Olivia was walking Zara to school and feeling sick the whole way there. Thankfully, she didn't throw up and managed to stay in good spirits.

"Can't I stay with you?" Zara whined as they walked through the doors of her school.

"I wish you could baby, but I have work and you have school."

"But I don't need to go to school."

"Of course you do. How are you gonna teach your little brother or sister when they're born?"

"You and daddy?" The quickness of Zara's comeback and the pure innocence behind it made Olivia laugh, in spite of how she was feeling and she kneeled down so she could be at eye level with Zara.

"Don't you want to be as smart as me and your daddy one day?" she said as she played with one Zara's ponytails.

Zara let her mind ponder the possibility, deciding that she, in fact would. "I can?"

"Of course. You can be anything you wanna be, you just need to learn." But just as quickly, a troubled look took over Zara's features.

"But that's a lot of smart!"

"That's why you go to school!"

"Okay." She said, a smile playing at her lips.

"Okay." Olivia said laughing and kissed her. "I'll see you later." she hugged Zara tight before she got up.

"Bye baby!" She said and kissed Olivia's stomach before she ran into her classroom. Olivia watched her for a moment, waving from the door before she turned to leave but then she felt sick and she knew that she would vomit. Thankfully the bathroom was just across the hall and she ran in, wasting no time.

"Mrs. Amaro-" One of the parents called to her but she didn't have time to stop.

* * *

"HE DID WHAT?!"

"If he hadn't let my hands go…"

"Liv…"

"I know." Olivia said, sadness in her voice. She stood in her living room, walking back and forth and telling Casey everything. "Right there in his mother's house, that son of a-"

"This has gone completely out of hand; hell, it went out of hand when he…"

"Yeah, can we talk about something else?"

"I can't believe you're just brushing this off."

"What do you want me to do, Casey?"

"What do I wa- I want you to start acting like the Olivia I know and do something! You made a mistake and had an affair with this guy, and I was wrong to egg it on but honey, he raped you and he almost did it again. What happens next time?"

"There won't be a next time."

"Liv, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you need to come clean to Nick and let him handle this. Because obviously, baby brother isn't listening to you!"

"Case, I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because yesterday Nick saw those scratches across Manny's face and he was convinced that Manny had done something to me. As soon as we got home he grilled me about it; Casey you didn't see him, he tried to hold it in but he was angry enough to kill his own brother! I wanted to tell him, I was so angry but I saw how upset Nick was and I lied; I am not letting him go down for that piece of garbage!" She was saying when suddenly she heard her call waiting beep and she stopped to look at her phone. "Case, lemme call you back."

"Do you need me to come over?"

"Thanks but no, I'll be at work in a little while so I'll see you then."

"Yes, you will!" And she hung up just as Olivia switched over to Caesarea.

"Caesarea, hi."

"Olivia, when are you going to start calling me mom?"

"I uh, I'll work on that."

"Anyway, how's my grandbaby?" She said with so much zeal, Olivia imagined that she was actually floating on air and laughed.

"So far, so good."

"Do you feel okay? I know your morning sickness was terrible yesterday. How do you feel this morning? I was telling Nicolas…" And on she went.

* * *

An hour later, having finally gotten Caesarea off the phone and now showered and dressed, she looked at the clock and saw that still had a couple of hours until she had to be to work and as the tea kettle whistled and steamed as she stood at the stove, she had a myriad of thoughts running through her head about Manny. The biggest being that she had to do something about him!

She still hadn't gotten over what he'd done yesterday; what he'd done two months ago and she reasoned in her head that she could try this last time to talk some sense into him.

She reached for the tea kettle and decided to throw caution to the wind and go to his hotel. If she remembered correctly, she'd heard him tell Nick a few days ago that he was staying at the Andaz on 5th. Maybe she'd be wasting time by going to see Manny, but she couldn't just do nothing. Sure, she could have stayed home until she had to go to work. Or she could've gone to work early, but thinking that she could fix this before it exploded, she opted to go to him and after calling the Andaz to confirm that he was in fact there, she headed over. Besides, she had her gun with her this time, nothing would happen.

* * *

"Now or never, Olivia!" She told herself, along with thinking just what she'd say to him as the taxi pulled up to his hotel. As she stood outside looking up at the building and feeling a bit of nervousness, or was it pregnancy sickness? At this point she couldn't tell but she could hear that little voice inside that was telling her quietly to just forget about it, to leave, try to find some way to tell Nick, but leave. She heard this voice all the way up to the 14th floor in the elevator and down the hall as she made her way to Manny's room. Even as she rang the bell, and then knocked, she heard that voice inside. Only now, it was pleading with her to turn around and go!

"Manny, I know you're there, open up!" She said, trying to keep her voice down. After a few seconds, the door finally opened and he appeared. Naked. Well; in a sheet wrapped precariously around his hips that was obviously thrown on haphazardly and a serious case of bedhead as he stood, running his hands over his stubble ridden face, trying to clear the sleep from it.

"Olivia… What are you doing here?" He said with a smile and looking her up and down. Damn she looked so good! He loved to see her in her cop clothes, that gun and those handcuffs. What he wouldn't give…

"I uh; we need to talk." Suddenly she was thinking that this was a bad idea. Seeing him standing in the doorway with no clothes. No, it was definitely a bad idea but when he came out and said:

"Yeah. Yeah, just let me throw something on."

She stupidly decided to forget the voice in her head and go into his hotel room. Hearing as she stepped over the threshold, the warning again that she shut out. And as she stepped in, Manny quickly slipped the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the outside of the doorknob before closing it.

...

"One second, I'll be right back." He said as he left her in the living room where she took a seat, then decided she'd rather stand up and made her way over to the windows. Gigantic, almost floor to ceiling. When she looked down, everything looked so small. She laughed, always having been amused by this ever since she was a child. She remembered how Nick thought it was so cute that she's lived in the city for her whole life and she was still enamored.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Manny said as he came back into the living room, and she turned around to find him in a robe. A silk one that she could very easily see that he wasn't wearing underwear and she quickly thought _is he kidding me?_

"Us. Particularly me." She said as he sat down in the chair. Legs at a big enough stance so that his penis was visible but she didn't let it distract her.

"I like the sound of 'us'."

"Emmanuel don't. I came here with the hope that I could talk some sense into you."

"Sense?"

"Yes, sense. I want you to stay away from me, from my family."

"They're my family too."

"...and If you don't, I'll have no choice but to arrest you."

"Arrest me?" He laughed. "For what?"

"For rape two months ago. For attempted rape yesterday. Any of that ring a bell?"

"I already told you, I don't know what you're talking about. Two month ago, we had sex! Granted, it wasn't as drawn out as the first time-"

"It was forced!"

"Will you stop saying that? I didn't force you!" He yelled as he got up and walked toward her angrily. Out of instinct, she put her hand on her gun and he immediately got the message and put his hands up in mock surrender.

"I'm not gonna hurt you Olivia. Unlike you did me; twice." He said as he came closer. "I admit, again, maybe I was rough, but rape?"

"You held me down-"

"For not even five minutes!" He came closer. "You wanted it. _Oh god, please!"_ Do you remember that?"

"You were hurting me!"

"And you were cumming and fucking back!"

"Don't!"

"I gave it to you rough because it's what you wanted. What, Nick never fucked you that hard before?" When she laughed…

"This isn't about Nick."

"That's right, it's not about Nick, it's about what you know you wanted. You're standing there with your hand on your gun like I would ever hurt you. Olivia, I love you!"

"You're really delusional. You don't do what you did to me to people you love."

"And what did I do to you? Huh?" He was in her face now. "What did I do? Took what we both know you wanted and we both enjoyed? You think I didn't notice how you pushed me in harder with your feet that were wrapped around my waist? How you wrapped me in your arms and pulled me closer to you?" There were tears filling her eyes at this point and a few of them fell, rolling past her cheek and onto her lips.

"I didn't-" She cried.

"Except, you did. You fucked me back while you were cumming and you pushed me to go harder and it felt incredible! Especially because you tried so hard to be quiet with my niece in the next room!" He laughed. "Now, somewhere in that wonderful wild sex, guilt took over and you couldn't handle it so you hit me with that mug and threw me out. It was just like yesterday, did you really think that I would force you to have sex with me?!" He said as he caressed her stomach with a feather-light touch that sent shivers through her. "Why would I let your mouth go if that's the case; why would I let your hands go? You think I like getting scratched across this beautiful face? Admit it Olivia, when I was between your legs, you wanted me just as bad as I wanted you!"

"I was afraid!"

"You were wet. So wet that you were dripping into your panties much like you are now." When he said that, Olivia was beyond embarrassed that she actually was wet and didn't know why. Her body was so aroused that just having Manny close to her was making her feel like she was on fire. "I get it, maybe my mother's house wasn't the best place but it excited the hell out of you thinking that we could get caught!"

"I need to go!" She breathed.

"Or you could stay and… Well, you know what happens if you stay." He skimmed her neck with his lips while his hand made his way to the gun on her hip, gently removing her hand.

"Emmanuel..." She whispered. "Please don't!"

"You don't want this, all you have to do is leave, I'm not holding you here. There's the door." He said, motioning with his head. "Don't you get it Olivia? I will never make you do anything you don't want to." As she stood there, so close to him, her breathing was so silent it's like she wasn't. She looked at him, his eyes so dark and intense, watching her, drinking her in.

 _Go. Go now. Just leave!_ Was what she heard in her head but she was so close to him she could feel his erection between her legs. It was tapping her lips just enough that she felt it on her clit- _Just turn around and walk out the door, Olivia!_ And that's exactly what she did. She turned and hauled her ass across the room, not stopping until she got to the door.

"You can reason it however you want but I know what you did to me and if you don't stay away from me, your brother will know too!" She said as she wiped her eyes and left, slamming the door behind her.

...

She walked the hallway of the hotel towards the elevator in utter chaos and trying so hard to keep her tears inside but again, it was a lost battle as she felt them making their way down her cheek once again. What on earth possessed her to come here? She wondered as she came to stop at the elevators. She was a mess. And when she felt that her tears would give way to sobs, she turned, looking for an exit and was relieved to find the door to a staircase which she immediately went through and as soon as the door closed, she fell against the wall, crying.

 _You think I didn't notice how you pushed me in harder with your feet that were wrapped around my waist?_

 _I didn't-_

 _"Except, you did. You fucked me back and you pushed me to go harder and it felt incredible! Especially because you tried so hard to be quiet with my niece in the next room!" He laughed. "Now, somewhere in that wonderful wild sex, guilt took over and you couldn't handle it so you hit me with that mug and threw me out. It was just like yesterday, did you really think that I would force you to have sex with me? Why would I let your mouth go if that's the case; why would I let your hands go? You think I like getting scratched across this beautiful face? Admit it Olivia, when I was between your legs, you wanted me just as bad as I wanted you!"_

 _I was afraid!_

 _You were wet. So wet that you were dripping into your panties much like you are now. I get it, maybe my mother's house wasn't the best place but it excited the hell out of you thinking that we could get caught!_

Did she? Was she? She tried so hard to remember her actions that day but all she could remember was him, holding her down and taking her so painfully but by his account, she not only wanted it, she enjoyed it. But that couldn't be; god her mind was playing tricks on her or was it?

* * *

"I still can't believe it. I'm gonna be an uncle!" Fin said happily. He was so awestruck that Olivia had gotten pregnant to begin with and was just overjoyed. "Tell me again why you guys waited so long to put it out there?"

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "We we're waiting until I was past my first trimester but Nick's sister guessed and spread the word, so we had to tell."

"Man, Munch and Cap are gonna flip when you tell them; hell, Amanda's gonna flip!"

"I can only imagine." She said as she went to her desk and put her phone down. Fin looked around to be sure that nobody was listening before he spoke.

"So, have we been to the doctor's or…?"

"First sonogram tomorrow, I'm so excited."

"Nick's gonna be there?"

"Yes Fin."

"You're 8 weeks right?" But she didn't answer as she was lost somewhere in her head, absently rubbing her her tiny swell. "Liv?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Where'd you go just now?"

"Uh, nowhere." She said shaking her head to clear it. "You were saying something?"

"It's not important. You okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind is all." She said as Casey entered the squad room.

"Hey counselor!" Fin smiled over Olivia's shoulder.

"Hey Fin. Olivia, how about a late lunch?" Casey asked.

"I'm not very hungry but I need to get out of here for a while." She was so happy to get away, she grabbed her phone and pulled her purse out of her desk in record time. "Fin, I'll have my phone on if you guys need me." She said as she and Casey made their way out as Amanda came in with Ramirez but Liv didn't stop to speak.

"What's going on with her?" Amanda said to Fin as they came into the squad room.

"Just preoccupied. Y'all get any information?"

"How about you let me tell Captain first?" She said as she walked into his office with Ramirez.

* * *

"I don't understand, why did you even go?" Casey asked Olivia as she was sipping iced tea while they were walking through the park.

"To talk to him, to try and make him see what he was doing to me but it failed. Case, he doesn't believe he raped me. He thinks he was giving me what I wanted!"

"He said that?"

"He said a lot more than that!"

"I'm gonna ask you a question, and it sounds fucked up in my head so I know it'll sound fucked up when I ask you. And you can tell me that I'm being an ass, it's okay-"

"Spit it out!"

"What if- and again, I'm not saying this is what it was but what if somewhere in the back of your mind...Liv, _did_ you want him to do what he did?" There was silence momentarily as a look of shock settled on Olivia's face.

"I can't believe you're asking me that."

"I'm sorry, it's just; this job, we learn to question everything. You know this. It doesn't mean that I don't believe you-"

"You wanna know what's funny? I don't know anymore. In the beginning, even up until this morning, I knew that Manny raped me but then he started saying those things and I; I don't know, maybe I did want it, and that's what scares me!"

"So say you did, what about now?"

"What _about_ now?"

"Do you still want the bastard?"

* * *

 **Does she?**


	20. Apologies & Promises

**Chapter 20**

* * *

.

It was 8:30 before Olivia finally headed home from work with a head full of so many thoughts it felt like it would explode! Ever since she saw him this morning, _why did I even go?_ she'd asked herself repeatedly. Yes, she'd told herself it was to lay down the law with Manny, to make him understand that- _that what?_ She thought and for the millionth time wished that she could take back everything that happened two months ago!

She came home to a quiet house. Zara was fast asleep and after the sitter left, it was silence, silence that nearly drove her crazy because it left her alone with those thoughts. God, she wished she could drink! She thought as she stared at the built-in wine rack underneath the kitchen counter. And she didn't mean a nice glass or two; no, right now she wished that she could take a couple bottles or maybe the whiskey in the cabinet and get shit-faced drunk. Just forget her problems for a few hours or a few days while she floated in the bliss of drunkenness but there wouldn't be any of that, not for...

"7 months- oh, but then you'll be breastfeeding so that adds a year. Shit!" She low-key shouted and slammed the tea kettle down on the stove then remembered that Zara was sleeping and cursed again before she took the clip from her head that was holding her mane in a messy bun and ran her hand through the mess of thick, long locks that immediately fell around her shoulders. She leaned on the counter, resting on her elbows while Casey and that question came back to her.

 _Do you still want the bastard?_

 _No._ She'd told her fast and unequivocally but really? How did Casey expect her to answer that when everything was now turned upside down even more than it already was? Manny had her doubting whether he'd actually raped her; whether or not she wanted what happened between them. Was he right? Did she just see it how she wanted to see it because guilt set in once again for something she'd already hated herself for doing not even twenty four hours earlier?

She stood up and went to the guest bedroom where she paused before opening the door and stepping inside. Flicking on the light switch, suddenly she felt like she had gone through some weird portal and she could see her indiscretion with Manny all over again, all over that room! There wasn't a surface in there where he hadn't fucked her and fucked her good, but then. But then…

 _(What really happened.)_

 _...looking at it, she got bad memories all over again and quickly stripped the bed, putting the linens in the wash and making the bed with fresh ones. She was putting the last pillow on the bed when Manny came in and frightened her._

 _"Where's Nick." When she heard him, she jumped and turned around to face him._

 _"Jesus Emmanuel, you scared the shit out of me! He's at work!" She said, trying to catch her breath. She knew he'd been out partying judging by his appearance. The messy hair, five o'clock shadow, the disheveled clothes that clung to his lean, muscular body… Damnit Olivia!_

 _"Emmanuel?" He shook his head. "I think we can be just a little more friendly, don't you?" He said as he got very close and squeezed her ass with both hands._

 _"Dont!" She scolded as she broke free of his hold and walked away from him._

 _"Is this where we are?"_

 _"We had sex and I realize now that we shouldn't have." She said as he came closer as she tried to move away._

 _"You don't mean that!" His mouth was dangerously close to hers. "I thought about you. I kept hearing your little screams and moans all night and I got so hot. It wasn't a good look for me doing business."_

 _"Sorry. Now if you'll excuse me-"_

 _"Do you know how good you look right now!"_

 _"In a tee shirt?!"_

" _Yes, in a tee shirt...and I wanna fuck you so bad in that tee shirt!" He said as he kissed her and she went dumb for a few seconds. God what was this effect he had on her? Her nipples were suddenly insanely hard and she cursed herself for not wearing panties. He was making her so wet with his voice and his lips that she was sure her arousal would be leaking down her thighs in a matter of seconds. And when he went in for that kiss, that did it and she squeezed her thighs together as she eventually turned her head and he caught her neck instead._

 _"Manny please!" She tried to push him away, but it only made him push closer, his hands roaming her body, touching her breasts. "Manny...Manny I mean it, don't!" She said, trying to keep her voice down so she didn't wake Zara but this gorgeous fucking asshole was determined._

 _"You're wet, aren't you?" He smiled as he slid a hand up the hem of her shirt to finger her pussy. And she like a damn nympho, involuntarily let her legs gap to give him room to play._

 _"Please move...I mean- oh god!" She gasped and tried to push his hands away from her._

 _"You love my fingers in this pussy, don't you?" He said as he pushed two into her while his thumb kept at her clit. It felt so good she thought, surprised that she actually could think as She closed her eyes and moaned her deep appreciation for what he was doing to her. Manny smiled and dipped his head to her chest. He sucked a pert nipple in his mouth through her shirt while he continued on her pussy. God his tongue felt divine! "...want me to stop?"_

 _"Yes I don't...do, please!" She cried as she melted into him and he grinned as he picked her up by her waist. "Stop...it!" She said through ragged, shallow breaths as she tried to get his hands off her, to try to make him put her down but she didn't count on how strong he'd be and it excited her when she couldn't. He grabbed her head and began kissing her as she pushed her hands against his muscular chest. As bad as she knew she wanted this, she couldn't do this to Nick again! She had to get away from Manny and fast but prayed so hard that he wouldn't let her go._

 _"You know I love it when you play hard to get!" He grinned._

 _"Manny stop it!" She tried to hit him in the face but he caught one of her hands, lightly twisting it behind her back and holding it there, causing her to yelp in pain as he sat her on the dresser and undid his pants. "Please don't; please!" He quickly pushed into her and she opened her mouth to scream but he quickly put his hand over her._

 _"Shhh! You don't wanna wake Zara!" He laughed as he let her mouth go and held her other arm down. He began thrusting hard while he kissed her, ramming his tongue down her throat._

 _"We can't...oh god, we can't!" She cried, fucking him back and letting off a moan of serious painful pleasure as tears escaped her eyes when he slammed against her cervix and she bit into his shoulder as her nails clawed his back, digging in deep!_

 _"Just take me, just like yesterday. You know you want it!" He said in her ear as he continued fucking her!_

 _Later, they were both cumming and while he was still inside her, emptying his seed as he pushed deeper into her, her mind began racing. "How could I do this Nick; again?" She thought as she released her hold on Manny. Another spurt and he pulled out of her, on a high from their sex. She pulled her sleep shirt down over her hips as she closed her legs. She was basically in shock; simply unable to believe that she'd let this happen again. She was supposed to tell him to leave, not fuck him again! "What did I do?" She cried to herself._

 _"Did you enjoy us love?" He said and went to kiss her mouth._

 _It wasn't my fault, he made me. I couldn't say no! She thought. I couldn't - "Get out of my house!" She said near a whisper._

 _"What?" He laughed, shocked._

 _"Get out of my house you bastard!" She said louder._

 _"Liv…" He went to touch her._

 _"Get out!" She screamed._

 _"What did I do? ...mami"_

 _"GET OUT YOU SON OF BITCH...GET OUT!" She screamed, crying hysterically and threw the closest thing to her, a mug at him, hitting him on the side of his head and drawing blood._

" _Olivia, what the hell?!" He seethed as he touched his hand to his head and came away with blood on his fingers before he looked at her for a moment, hurt in his eyes and wondering what he did wrong but he quickly decided to get his bags from the closet and leave with her obviously hysterical. When she heard the front door close and she knew he was gone, she got down from the dresser and fell to the floor in serious pain, blood running down her thighs and she pulled herself up and limped into her bedroom, easing past Zara who was thankfully still asleep and she went into her bathroom and got into the shower, sinking to the floor as the water rained down on her and she cried._

"Oh god!" She cried as she backed up. She'd done this voluntarily! She immediately turned out the lights and shut the door, running to she and Nick's room, where she basically tore her clothes from her body and jumped into a long, hot shower. Even after she got out she couldn't stop crying; he never raped her. She in her panic about what happened between them…

"This can't be true…" She sobbed, knowing that it was. She had to tell Manny… "Tell him what Olivia? You're sorry? And what about Nick? What this baby? God, everything's changed!" She screamed as she sank to the floor in tears.

* * *

At Manny's hotel, he was getting ready for tonight. He had meetings scheduled and then he would be partying the rest of the night away. That was his weekend thing. He was in the mirror blow drying his hair when his phone rang and when he saw on the screen that it was Olivia, he thought he was seeing things but hurried to answer it.

"Olivia...hey." He said and mentally kicked himself. _Hey? You dick!_

"Manny I…" _Just say it!_ "I'm so… I'm sorry!"

"For what?"

"For accusing you, I never; I'm sorry." She said and hung up, leaving him looking at the phone and wondering what happened to make her call.

* * *

Nine thirty and Olivia lay on the couch balled up under a cashmere throw as she talked to Casey.

"Are you-"

"No, Case I'm a mess. I don't know how all of this got so out of hand." She said in a low, barely-there voice.

"Liv, you made a mistake, it happens. At least you didn't…"

"Don't say it! The truth is, I wrongly accused a man after I cheated on my husband with him." Suddenly the doorbell rang followed by an urgent knock. "That's Nick. I'll talk to you after the doctor tomorrow." She hung up the phone, putting it on the coffee table before she unfurled and threw off the blanket and got up. She turned on the light and went for the door her nightgown and robe falling around her hips as she walked. "did you leave your keys at wor- Manny." She said, shocked as she opened the door to see him standing there.

"I uh, I wanted to see if you were alright... you sounded upset." He stammered as he watched her. She wasn't wearing a bra and her nipples were practically tearing through the silk of the short gown and robe. He could feel himself growing hard and quickly, though not very effectively willed his hard on away, though it was damn near impossible with how gorgeous she looked. Even standing there with her eyes all red and puffy. "Are you okay?"

"Uh, I'm fine. I just…"

"Can I come in?" He asked and she realized that it wasn't the best idea to stand there with the door open and invited him in. "You look like you've been crying." he said as he walked in and couldn't help looking at the rest of her curves as she shut the door.

"It's nothing, and you shouldn't be here!"

"I thought you said on the phone that-"

"I said that I was sorry, and I am. But it doesn't mean anything more. I made a mistake and for that, I hope you forgive me but we don't have any other business with one another so if you'll excuse me, I think you should probably go!" She said, turning to open the door but just as she put her hand on the knob...

"Just this once." He said as he looked at her with so much longing it was killing him. He'd never been in this situation where he had to beg for a woman's affections and now… He didn't care though, it didn't bother him in the least because a woman like Olivia, she was worth it. And he'd beg, hell, he'd stand on his head if that's what it took, but he needed to be with her.

"What are you-?" she started and he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately. She gave in at first, but quickly realized what she was doing and pushed him off, slapping him hard! "Are you crazy?"

"Please, I need to be with you!"

"Manny, you have to stop this, I love my husband!" She said, wiping her mouth. Her breathing was heavy, excited from that kiss and he watched, drinking her in as her breasts heaved. God he wanted her.

"I love him too, but all I can think about all day is throwing you down and tasting every inch of you! Do you understand how it feels to want someone every day and to have to see that person with somebody else every day?"

"Yeah, I do." She said sadly, thinking of Elliot. "But you have to accept what is and deal with it."

"Liv; we can be happy, I know we can. You remember how it was? Huh, how it felt with me inside you?" One reminder and her juices were flowing. She couldn't help it but she would, somehow. "...because I do, it was like heaven and we can go there again, and we can stay there this time. You, me and our baby."

"Your baby? How many times do i need to tell you that this is Nick's baby!" She said defensively. _Who the hell did he think he was anyway?_ This _is_ Nick's child and she refused to believe anything else!

"You don't know that."

"You need to go!"

"Liv-"

"I mean it, get out of here!" He looked at her and god knows he didn't want to go but he decided to respect her wishes and when she opened the door, he turned and started to walk out.

"Goodnight Olivia." He sounded bereft and looked even worse. But she didn't think about that. She had to get him away from her and was so thankful that this time he left as she shut the door and locked it.

...

By the time Nick got home that night, it was a little after 11 and after spending most of the night crying, Olivia basically jumped him as soon as he walked in the door. Of course Nick being Nick, he had no objections except to say that he thought she'd be _too tired_ with the last couple of days she'd had, but was all too willing to make up for the sex they'd missed the night before and that morning. He immediately took control and had her against the door, there in the entryway.

"What's gotten into you?" He asked as they kissed.

"I just need to feel you!" She said as he reached under her nightgown, very pleased to find no panties.

"Can you handle it rough?" He asked. He wanted her bad and was not in the mood for making love tonight. He was glad that she said yes because they fucked like animals! First against the wall and then the floor. Nick took her so hard, and with so much passion, but she kept begging him to go harder, to get deeper. It was a moot point considering he was already so deep that she felt as if he were splitting her in half with every thrust as she came over and over!

Nick was like a man possessed and fucked her even harder, she nearly blacked out several times! _God, he was an even better lover than his brother!_ she thought as she felt yet another orgasm deep inside but she knew this one was different, she was going to squirt and it was going to be a big one! "Baby… oh god...!" She cried as he pounded away at her.

"You gonna cum for me again mami?" God he was fucking her so good!

"Oh… Right there! Don't stop… Oh my god!" She screamed into her fist as she came hard! It shot straight up into the air before it came all over Nick's chest and stomach for what seemed like forever while she was just out of it between trying not to scream for Zara's sake, and the sheer force of what it took to cum like this plus, her husband who was still fucking the life out of her! She quickly released another huge gush as he kissed her. She couldn't help biting his bottom lip hard and drawing blood as she cried out into his kiss while she spasmed like crazy.

"Dame otro." He whispered in her ear as he kissed it, going down to her neck where he kissed and sucked her pulse point as he started up again. At this point she couldn't tell her own name she was in such a state of ecstasy. But she called to him, begging as she lay there on their bedroom floor, legs pushed back and him on top, and he was going in!

"Baby please..." But she already felt it building as he fucked her and she tried to brace herself for it.

* * *

While elsewhere in Manhattan, Manny was out hitting the clubs hard! He couldn't get Olivia out of his head, not that he wanted to, but she was literally every thought. He thought about money and it would go to him imagining her on a bed of it while they fucked. He thought of food and it went to him eating chocolate off her naked pussy and god forbid he thought about music or movies or anything else; it always came back to her, him and sex!

Right now, after meeting with some club owners who owned several clubs here in the US and Dubai, and after getting an offer that he admitted he needed to discuss when his head wasn't filled with spirits. He sat talking to a couple of brunette girls who were fine, and built for days! After a few minutes, they ended up leaving and going back to his hotel where suffice it to say, he fucked them, both. But no matter how much he fucked them, he couldn't cum and he went at them hard for the better part of two hours! Finally he gave up. Yes, they were satisfied but he wasn't and wouldn't be and so he made some lame excuse, had the concierge get them a cab and he closed the curtains and went to sleep with a smile on his face thinking about Olivia.

* * *

They were done and she had some bleeding which Nick freaked out about when he noticed but she assured him that it was nothing serious, and it wasn't. She didn't feel crampy at all and aside from that glorious ache that came from great sex, she wasn't feeling any pain. Plus, she reminded him that she had a doctors appointment tomorrow anyway and after she put on a panty liner, she lay in bed with him and immediately fell asleep while he held and kissed her, whispering sweet nothings to her.

She knew it wasn't perhaps the best way to deal with the problem she was facing, but it was the only thing that at the moment, she knew that could quiet the noises in her head. She didn't think about Manny, she refused to. No, the only things that she allowed in her head was her gorgeous husband who she would rather die than betray again, and this child in her belly that she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was his. His and nobody could take that away. As she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"I'm so happy that you've decided to have this baby, I know how much and for how long you've wanted one!" The doctor said as she was on the stool between Olivia's legs doing an exam.

'I just wish I had been smarter. I know that this is Nick's baby, I can feel it. God a stupid mistake and my baby may end up without a father."

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"If I wanted to know for sure, when would be the earliest that I could be tested?" She asked. In reality, she wanted with her whole heart this baby to be Nick's, but the truth was, she didn't know.

"There are options. You could wait until you're 16 weeks and have an amniocentesis or you can have a NIPT test at 10 weeks. The NIPT is non invasive, we do it all through your blood sample. I'll give you some information on both and you can decide."

"I don't need the information, if the NIPT is accurate, schedule me for it as soon as I'm able to do it. Just tell me when and where."

"I'll have my nurse make the appointment and in the meantime, I will send these off to the lab." She said as she removed the speculum. "but I suspect they'll come back fine. As for the bleeding you had last night, luckily you were right and there wasn't anything to be panicked about."

"Please tell that to my husband."

"But there's some bruising to your cervix again- and before you say it, yes, you've told me in the past that your husband is big but you are a first time mother in your forties. And with as many problems as you had getting pregnant after so many years trying, my goal is to keep this baby with you; I want you to lay off the rough sex. You got lucky this time, I don't want to see your luck go bad. So, not until at least 35 weeks. Please!"

"I hear you."

"Good I'll get your husband and we can get a look at that baby!" She said smiling and exited the room.

Olivia lay there, her legs in the stirrups, staring at the ceiling as she brought her hand to rest on her stomach and took a deep breath. She thought about Manny for a moment but quickly shook him out of her head as Nick came in with the doctor.

"Everything okay?" Nick asked as he reached for her hand and kissed it. He looked at her with so much love, it made her blush as she immediately felt less nervous with him being there. If this baby turned out not to be his...

"Everything's fine." She said and kissed him.

"Except-" the doctor interjected from where she once again sat on the stool between Olivia's legs and lifted the Sheet. "we've discussed the bleeding and as I explained to Olivia, you guys were lucky that it wasn't a big deal but my job here is to keep this baby in. Olivia's had a long road to get pregnant and being 42 we want to keep it that way; possibly to term. So you two are going to lay off any aggressive activity until at least 35 weeks."

"Okay, we can do that, absolutely." Nick agreed, no question.

"Good. I wish all parents were this easy."

"Whatever it takes to get this little one here safely. But what about anal sex?"

"Oh my god!" Olivia said as she shook her head. "Nick!"

"No, good question. As long as it's not rough, I don't see any reason why you guys can't continue. Now, why don't we see how the baby is doing? Olivia, this might be a little uncomfortable, but you should only feel it for a second." She said, referring to the vaginal probe for the ultrasound as she inserted it.

"Oh wow!" Olivia said as she shifted upon feeling it go in and squeezed Nick's hand. The doctor moved it around a bit before she got a picture of Olivia's womb on screen and after she probed around, a huge smile was on her face.

"Well, would you look at that!" She said as she pressed the keyboard to take measurements.

"Look at what? Is something wrong?" Nick asked.

"Why don't you see for yourself." The doctor said as she turned the screen around. Nick just looked at it, trying to figure out what he was seeing, he never could make out these things until the baby was much bigger and more; well human looking. But olivia knew right away and she was so in love and completely awestruck as tears slid down her face.

"There's two of them; Nick there's two of them!" Olivia said through her tears.

"Two of them… Twins?"

"Twins, congratulations!"

* * *

The drive to Caesarea's house and Olivia was still a joyous mess She'd started the minute the doctor turned the screen to them and hadn't stopped since. Suddenly seeing her babies made this so real to her and she and Nick just bawled for the longest time.

Nick squeezed her Hand, still emotional himself.

They had finally pulled into his mother's driveway and he reached over and kissed her through her tears. "What is it mami?"

"It's so real now; it always was but-"

"But now that we've seen them-"

"Nick I have two little people in here." She cried as she touched her stomach. "Real little people that are brand new and they have heartbeats! I never thought I'd ever see the day that I was blessed with even one and now, I'm gonna have three! I just can't believe that this is my life!"

He kissed her hand as he touched her stomach, then kissed her lips. "This is your life and I'm so glad that I could be the one to give it to you! I love you baby!"

* * *

"Mami!" Nick called upon entering the house as he kissed Olivia and wiped her tears. Caesarea soon emerged from the kitchen drying her hands on a dish towel.

"Olivia!" She cried as she kissed and hugged Olivia, touching her stomach. "I was so worried!"

"I'm here too mom." Nick said and Caesarea waved her hand at him as she turned back to Olivia.

"How's the baby doing?"

"The bab _ies_ are fine." She said with tears in her eyes as Nick stood with his arm around her.

"Babies?"

"The doctor just confirmed it." Nick said as he handed her an envelope with the twins' first sonogram. Caesarea opened it and gasped when she saw the photograph of the two perfect little soon to be people and she covered her mouth as she sat down and cried.

"You're having twins?" She said through tears. That made Olivia cry even harder as she nodded.

"Oh dios mío, Olivia!" She cried as she hugged her and Zara ran into the room.

"Abuelta!"

"Zara, mi carino. You're gonna be a big sister, twice!" They were all celebrating when Manny walked in from the kitchen eating an apple.

"What's going on?" He asked and Olivia felt her stomach drop into her feet. She didn't want him to know but how would she stop it? Knowing that she couldn't, she stood there with Nick as Caesarea ran to tell him.

"Manny, no lo puedo creer! Olivia is having twins!" Caesarea said and as Manny's face nearly went white but he had to keep it together, and Olivia felt sick when she looked at him.

"Bro; that's great!" Manny said to Nick as he found his voice. _Twins?_

"Thanks man." Nick said grinning proudly as Manny went to congratulate her.

"Congratulations!" He said as he kissed her cheek and hugged her; inhaling her intoxicating scent while he did. She didn't want the hug but what could she do with everyone watching? So she thanked him and quickly broke contact, thankful to get away as he stood there still in shock. _What the hell am I gonna do with two babies? I haven't even figured out one!_

* * *

 **TBC...**

 **Rest assured, both twins have the same dad. I think that 1 dad each twin is a bit too corny for me.**


	21. Unraveling

**Chapter 21**

* * *

.

"I still can't believe it." Caesarea said as she sat down staring at the sonogram picture in her hand. She was so overjoyed. "I'm going to have twin Grandbabies, oh Olivia!" She cried as she hugged her.

"I helped too…" Nick said, raising his hand. "Right here…" Olivia touched his face, lingering there for a moment as he looked at her with nothing but love but Manny, to say he was jealous was an understatement as he sat there smiling with the family but inwardly steaming!

 _She's really touching him like that with me sitting here?_ He seethed. He was so caught in his feelings, he didn't stop to think that regardless of how he felt, Olivia and Nick were together and they loved each other. He couldn't take their disgusting displays and decided to draw Olivia's attention right where he wanted it.

"...almost makes me wonder just what it would feel like to bring life into the world. To see the woman I love swollen with my child; it's just beautiful to think about." He said, no emotion on his face that Olivia could read and her mind drifted.

 _"Is this my baby?"_

 _"What?" She was completely knocked over in spite of expecting that he would, but to actually hear it…_

 _"You heard me. That baby you're carrying; is it mine?" He watched her as her eyes looked down a second before looking back up and she prepared her mouth to speak. "And before you lie, Nick told me that you were five weeks along 2 weeks ago, so that puts you at seven now. Seven weeks ago is exactly when we made love!"_

 _"We didn't make love!"_

 _"Is. this. My. Baby?" He asked and reached out to touch her stomach_.

 _What the fuck is he trying to do?!_ She asked herself as she gently pulled at one of the tendrils that fell loose from her ponytail.

"You wanna tell us something tipo?" Nick laughed but Olivia was shaking inside.

"Look, it's time I confessed…" He said in all seriousness as Caesarea's eyes went wide wondering and silently praying that he was joking. She couldn't have Manny become a father; not now anyway. He's too irresponsible! But what if there was a baby; or _babies…_

" _Oh god! Manny, please don't! Not in front of everyone...not in front of Zara!_ Olivia was genuinely terrified and she nervously looked back at him, sitting on the arm of the couch behind her, begging him with her eyes; praying to some god, any god that he wouldn't while Caesarea went off in Spanish on a litany, condemning the very thought as she walked the room, lecturing Manny.

"¿Me lo dices ahora? ¿Has perdido la cabeza?! Emmanuel, ¿cómo pudiste hacer esto, Manny cómo podría-"

"Mami, relax. I'm kidding!" He said as he nearly died from laughter and drew her into a hug, kissing her cheek. "I'm kidding." Caesarea let off a deep breath, holding her chest and praying thanks to the virgin.

"Don't do that Emmanuel! You want to see your mother have a heart attack?" She said while hitting him good across the arm. But Olivia, just sat there, unable to move and took Zara from Nick's lap, snuggling the child in her own and silently thanking whatever god it was that made Manny change his mind.

"Mommy are you really having two babies?" Zara asked Olivia as she sat on her lap but Olivia was so lost in her own head, she didn't hear her. "Mommy?"

"Yeah peanut?" She said snapping out of it.

"She absolutely is!" Nick covered, eyeballing Olivia. "and you know what that means?"

"What?"

"It means that you're gonna be a big sister, twice!"

"I am? Crap, I am!" Zara shouted happily, not realizing what she just said but the adults did, and after sitting with their mouths open, they quickly turned to her to express their distaste.

"Zara, de dónde has oído eso?" Caesarea said to the child as Nick and Olivia looked on, Nick trying not to laugh. He knew that for Olivia and his mom, he couldn't. Zara saw this and with a very small grin on her face quickly cast her eyes at Nick, then at Manny who thankfully came to her defense.

"So funny story…" He began.

"Manny, you teaching my daughter bad language now?" Nick asked, grinning.

"Nick, I can't believe you find this funny!" Olivia said, quickly drawn back to that night. She remembered how she felt when she entered the apartment and realized that it was Manny there instead of Nick and when she...

"What? It was an accident; hey man, Chutes & Ladders is rough." Manny said, turning to Zara to wink and eliciting a giggle from her as she covered her mouth.

"You two are impossible!" Caesarea groaned as Olivia sat calming herself. _How could he do something like that?_

While Caesarea and Nick were looking at Zara, Manny put his hand to the small of Olivia's back and lifted the hem of her shirt just slightly. He let his fingertips dance over the skin he found, feeling the silkiness of her back. Remembering that first morning in the shower when he lifted her and she slowly came down on his cock, it was like heaven! But the memory was short lived as Olivia immediately shot up, placing Zara on Caesarea's lap.

"Excuse me!" She announced suddenly and quite nervously as walked off with a hand to her stomach. She burst in through the kitchen door and immediately slumped against the counter and let out a deep breath as her tears burst. _Is he fucking insane?_ She wondered as she nervously stood by the sink and she took another deep breath as she stood there thinking about that morning.

 _He had her. There on the floor he had her and he was fucking her so good! She was pinned beneath him, lying there on her stomach with her hands behind her back. He held them there as he fucked her, slow, deep. God so deep and so fucking wonderful! Every single hard and painful yet glorious thrust…_

"I need to get out of here!" she said as she nervously tried to think of something, shit she was no good like this! Between being pissed off, agitated and now dripping her arousal into her panties, she was a mess.

She grabbed the water pitcher from the refrigerator and poured a glass, drinking a couple gulps that cooled her down a bit but she was wishing so badly that it was liquor. Just then, Nick walked into the kitchen.

"You're crying, what-?" He started, alarmed.

"I'm alright."

"Baby...?" He started as she lay her head against his chest and felt her tears to let go even more. "Honey, what's wrong?" He said as he held her in his arms. God if she could just stay there, forever. This was all she needed, him and her. Shut out the world.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm just tired and I really need you to hold me."

"I can do that!"

"It's been a really emotional day, a lot to take in." She said as she pulled back.

"That it has. Listen, why don't we head out?" He said and wiped her eyes. "We'll go home, I'll run you a bath, light some candles..."

"I can't ask you to-"

"You're not." He told her with a kiss to her head. "you are my priority. We'll see mom and Manny another time."

"You're too good to me, you know that?" She said, feeling guilty not only about what she'd done with Manny, but that once again she'd allowed herself to want him despite the fact that he came so close to destroying everything.

"'cause you deserve it. Why don't you head to the bathroom and clean up? I'm gonna tell mom we're leaving."

* * *

From the moment she and Nick got in the SUV leaving Caesarea's house, Olivia's mind had been consumed by thoughts of Manny. And now, relaxing in the bathtub surrounded by bubbles and candlelight, she still couldn't stop thinking of him. What if he had went on to say what he had teased earlier? Every day this guy was becoming more trouble and she wondered now if it was worth it to somehow ask him for a sample for the paternity test.

"Hey, where'd you go" Nick said as he kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, my mind was just wandering. What were you saying?"

"It's nothing important. You okay?"

"Nick, I'm fine. Stop worrying."

"Easier said than done."

"Thank you for doing this for me baby!" She said with her eyes closed. "Even if I can't have the berries."

It was Nick's intention to feed her chocolate covered strawberries as they sipped sparkling cider from champagne flutes while they bathed but one look at the strawberries, her favorite but she couldn't even take a bite. They were making her sick just being near them!

"Don't worry about it, and thank Caesarea. If she hadn't volunteered to keep Zara…" He said with a kiss to her neck as he held her. "what's up with that, anyway."

"I don't know but I hope it's only temporary. I can't see myself going through this entire pregnancy with no strawberries." She said as she relaxed in his his arms. "God I love you, so much!" she smiled as she looked up to kiss him.

"You make me so unbelievably happy, every day." He said as she placed her hands on his and he kissed her again. "Let's go out tonight and celebrate!"

"We can celebrate right here!" She said as she kissed him again before turning around to face him. Putting her arms loosely around his neck. "I have been dying to get you alone!"

"Oh yeah?" He grinned then moaned as her hand found its way to his already very hard dick.

"Yeah. This pregnancy has me so on edge, you're gonna be exhausted by the time it's over."

"Fuck, that feels good!" He said, his eyes rolling back as she pleasured him with her hand. She smiled and kissed his lips as she continued, trailing her lips down his neck and chest.

"Tell me you love me!" She whispered as she continued to kiss his chest.

"You know I do!" He said as she kissed her way back to his neck.

"Tell me anyway!"

"Yo soy-" He started as she continued to rub his dick. "Holy shit baby!"

"You were saying?" She laughed and continued while he was going crazy! Her hand and fingers felt amazing. But he couldn't say much more, instead he pulled her in and devoured her mouth, sending suds and water all over the bathroom floor as they passionately kissed.

* * *

Later after making love, they lay in bed with the sheets thrown sloppily around their bodies and Olivia lying with her head on his stomach, both drifting off to sleep.

"I can't move."

"Is that good or bad?" She smiled.

"Definitely good." He laughed, his eyes half closed as he threaded his fingers lazily through her hair. "Man, just thinking, six or more weeks without this."

"What are you talking about?"

"When you give birth."

"Oh don't!"

"Don't?"

"I don't wanna think about doing that just yet."

"Why?"

"Because it's gonna hurt! Really, seriously and I don't do well with pain."

"Babe, you'll be fine."

"I won't." She said leaning on her arm to look at him. "Nick, promise me that you'll be there, through everything."

"Where else would I be? You'll be bringing our children into the world."

"Painfully. If I make it that far. Nick, what if I lose them?"

"Why would you say that?"

"History. I'm not so lucky with these things. Look at how long it took me to get pregnant. I had honestly given up years ago, to the point that when I found out I couldn't believe it and now we know there's two of them, I just keep thinking 'what if'?"

"Don't. Okay? You are not gonna lose them. We are gonna have these babies and they're gonna be beautiful!"

She smiled at him, then kissed his lips. She kissed them lightly at first then more passionately as he turned her and put her on her back just as his phone rang and they stopped cold.

"No!"

"Maybe it's Zara he said as he reached to the nightstand for the phone and quickly looked at it. "-or it could be my captain." He said with a bit of melancholy and dropped back on the bed with the phone to his chest. Sighing before he answered it. "Yeah captain?

* * *

"You know, one glass of wine won't hurt the babies." Casey said. Since Nick was called away, she and Olivia thought they'd go out for drinks

"Are you kidding? Case, I'm old!"

"Okay, you're not that old!"

"42 is old enough and I'm not doing anything that'll give these babies a chance at not developing properly."

"I can't believe you're having twins!"

"You and me both."

"I'm so sorry." Casey said, sipping her watermelon martini.

"For what?"

"For what? For making you sleep with that fucker in the first place!"

"Case, how long have you known me? Nobody can make me do anything. I wanted to sleep with him, he showed his goods and I took the bait."

"You don't blame me?"

"Come on. You were just being you. Truth is, I probably knew…. God, maybe Nick and I; maybe we shouldn't have gotten married. We were happy just living together. I knew that marriage would mess things up but Nick said I was being silly. Two years and no problems and then we get engaged and here comes Manny...how could I be so stupid? I don't know what I'm gonna do if these babies turn out to be his."

"So don't take the paternity test."

"I can't do that to Nick." She said stirring her orange juice. "If these babies; if they're Manny's then I have to tell him the truth. I can't let him raise another man's babies without knowing."

Just then, two men approached their booth.

"Hey, we were wondering-" One of the guys started, but Casey quickly cut him off.

"Not tonight."

"Come on" the other guy said. "You two are looking fine, in here all-"

"Buddy..." Olivia reiterated, annoyed. "not tonight!"

"Yeah, see I know that those _nos_ are really _yesses_ in disguise."

"Okay. You see these badges?" Casey said as she and Olivia pulled them out. "They mean that I'm an ADA, and she's a cop and you two have about five seconds to move on, or we're gonna arrest you for harassment. Does that clear up your confusion?"

The men didn't say anything, instead they just looked at each other and walked away with their tails between their legs. When they were gone, Olivia turned to Casey.

"I need a huge favor."

"Name it."

"I need you to get close to Manny."

"How close?"

"Close enough to get a DNA sample."

"Oh god Liv!"

"Casey, I can't ask him to do this, hell, I don't wanna go near him after this morning!"

"Liv."

"Casey, I know I'm asking a lot but you are the only person that I can trust. I'm at my wits end here."

"Jesus! I need another drink for this!"

* * *

 **TBC...**


	22. Countdown

**Chapter 22**

* * *

.

"...and if it doesn't work?" Casey asked then took a large gulp from her wine glass, still not believing that she was even entertaining these thoughts. She couldn't go so far as to sleep with Manny if the situation called for it; could she? The truth was, if you had asked her a couple of months ago before any of this happened, she would have gladly slept with with him, more than a few times. But things were different now. Manny had not only slept with her best friend, but he was making trouble with her marriage.

"It'll work. You just have to have the swab ready for when it does." Olivia said as she put more ice cream in her bowl and Casey stood with a spoon and took some from the carton. Olivia left the kitchen with her bowl and went into the living room to sit on the couch.

"I can't believe I'm considering this."

"...and you have no idea how much I appreciate you for it..." she said and put a hand to her stomach. "...how much _we_ appreciate you for it."

"Don't you dare use those babies against me!"

"I'm not." Olivia laughed as she ate a big spoonful and Casey put the carton back in the freezer before she grabbed her glass of wine, and the bottle and joined Olivia in the living room, sitting on the other end of the couch.

"You are, and to be honest, Liv I don't know if I can do this."

"How many times have you told me that you wanted to sleep with Manny?"

"That was before you beat me to it! We don't share-"

"No. under normal circumstances, never but I'm giving you permission if it comes to that."

Casey let off an incredulous laugh. " _If_ it comes to that. Are you forgetting that until yesterday you accused him of rape? I mean, how do I know that it didn't happen?"

"It didn't, and I still feel horrible about that, believe me. Hell, even Manny and his issues didn't deserve that but Case, I am asking; no I'm begging you and I know I'm asking a lot-"

"Save your pride. I'll do it."

* * *

"God I am putting in for some time off!" Nick said to his partner as they left the second crime scene. They were driving back to the precinct now, Nick having given his partner the keys while he sat on the passenger side of the car..

"Tired?"

"Tired, overworked. And just once, I wanna make love to my wife without interruption!"

"Still can't believe you landed that woman!"

"You still on that?" Nick laughed.

"You got Olivia Benson, are you kidding? I will never be over that!" Keith said laughing. "Man!"

"Yeah, well tonight you'd better cuz the work is just beginning." Nick said as his phone rang. "Hold on… Hey Manny, qué pasa? ...No, lo siento. Estoy en el trabajo ahora mismo…"

* * *

"I got home safe..." Casey told Olivia as she stripped her clothes while talking on speaker.

"You're a great friend, have I ever told you that?" Olivia asked, having just come from the shower and lotioning her body.

"Yeah yeah."

"I mean it. Anyway, get some sleep, I'll call you tomorrow." She said, closing the top on the lotion bottle then putting it down on the nightstand

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight. And Case thanks, I really mean that."

"Hey, it's gonna be okay; just believe it." She said and hung up. After putting her phone down, Olivia reached into the drawer of the bureau for one of Nick's tee shirts and was about to put it on when she stopped in front of the mirror. She reached down and touched her stomach, carefully running her hand up and down and looked at it, turning sideways then back to the front where she paused for a moment before staring at her breasts. She still couldn't believe that they'd already grown so much in just two months of being pregnant.

She continued to stare, bringing that same hand that was just on her stomach to gently touch them. They were big, no doubt about that, but her nipples were the most obvious change. They'd grown darker, bigger and longer. In fact, she could swear that they'd grown even more in the last few days.

"You're being silly, Olivia." She smiled, turning sideways to get a better view. Oh yeah, they'd definitely gotten some girth! Suddenly, she was brought back to the here and now by the doorbell ringing. She threw the tee shirt on the bed and instead reached for her robe, putting it on on her way to the door. As she got closer, the bell continued to ring urgently and she reached the door and looked through the peephole as she turned on the lightswitch, seeing Manny in the hallway.

"You have got to be kidding me!" She muttered under her breath as she began unlocking the door and opened it but just enough for her head to be seen. "Manny, it's late, what are you doing here? Nick's at work."

"I know that. I talked to him."

"Okay, then what do you want? I was about to turn in-"

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Olivia; look, I really doubt that you want our business broadcast here in this hallway-"

"Emmanuel, you've gotta stop this."

"Please Olivia."

She ran a hand across her eyes, pinching the bridge between her nose and sighed before she hesitantly moved to the side and Manny walked in. She shut the door and locked it back before turning around to him. "What?"

"You look beau-"

"Manny, I'm not in the mood okay? And after your little stunt this morning, you're lucky I don't… You know what, just tell me what you're doing here so you can leave and I can go to bed."

"Oh come on Linda. You liked it."

"Yeah, I liked you nearly scaring me to death and then feeling me up when my husband was right there? Manny, we did what we did and I wish to god I hadn't either time-"

"There could be a third-"

"It's over! Look, I was stupid and greedy but I love my husband; your brother. He means everything to me!"

"Don't -"

"Don't what? I'm having his babies-"

"You could be having _my_ babies!"

"You're crazy!" But what if these babies, as much as she wanted them to be and prayed that they were Nick's; what if they turned out to be Manny's after all? "Why can't you just let go and move on?"

"Because those two mornings we had, they meant something to me."

"Manny"

"You gonna tell me that they didn't mean anything to you? The way you screamed my name, the way you came over and over? Hell, the way you almost came today?"

"You've gotta stop this." She whispered, though her nipples were getting even harder if that was possible while her pussy suddenly got so wet, she silently prayed that it wouldn't leak down her thighs. And in that moment she was so thankful that though she wasn't wearing panties, at least she was wearing a long robe.

"Why, so I can just let Nick have you all to himself? Well guess what Olivia, I'm not ready to let you go!"

"Listen to me-"

"No, you listen to me!" he said as he pulled her close, quite to her surprise. Her breath caught in her throat and she momentarily went numb. "I want you, do you understand that? I have been dreaming of having this body again. Of pleasuring this body until it can't take me anymore! You remember how good it was? How good it felt when my mouth closed over your clit? Over these nipples?" He said as he traced her breasts with his finger. At that point she was lost, her breath hitching uncontrollably and her knees threatening to just give out on her. "You remember the way my cock felt when it went inside you that first time?"

"Let go of me!" She demanded while trying to pull away. She was dying! His touch was just electric and she was losing herself in it.

"I need you!" He lowered his head to hers, hovering his lips just above her mouth but he didn't kiss her. Instead he let his hands travel under her robe to feel her skin, to let his hand skim her, to feel her thighs, to feel their silkiness. "I need you Linda... God you're so soft..." He said as he let his fingers dance over the silkiness of her, getting closer to that place between her thighs. And when he lightly touched her clit then abandoned it, she thought she'd burst. "You deny it but your body says otherwise...so this is what my babies have done to you?" He said as she felt her robe shifting at the top and felt his fingers as his thumb and forefinger pinched her nipple. Although it hurt, it was causing the most wonderful sensations. She felt a scream about to erupt in her throat but she held back, her breathing now harder and more erratic. "Tell me you want me and I'll fuck you so good...all night, just say the word!" He whispered while he undid her robe as he gave feather-light kisses to her neck.

"Please…" _Oh dear god!_ "Manny stop...oh dammit, s-stop! No!" She spoke up louder this time as she squeezed her eyes shut and pushed him away. "No! I said I was done and I meant it!" She was just shook up as she moved away from him and gathered her robe. "You need to go!" She cried.

"Come on baby" He said as he stood there, licking her from his lips.

 _Give in to him! Just this one last time; think of it as a parting gift!_ Her inner voice said, while shakily, her outer voice was more insistent. "When I said it's over, I meant it!" She didn't even sound like she meant it, but she did.

"I'm not accepting that Olivia. I want you, and I always get what I want!"

"Leave." She begged and prayed just this once that somebody in the universe would hear het and get this man away from her. She watched as he stood there for a moment then suddenly, as if something changed in his very being he turned to her and said...

"We'll see how much you mean that." He said quietly. "Goodnight." And he moved to let himself out, smiling as he caressed her face as the door opened then closed.

...

 _Sweat poured from her body as she sat on top of Manny, riding him hard and fast. Why were they in a sauna of all places? She thought, but just as quickly stopped wondering as his hands pulled at her nipples and she cried out, going crazy and increasing the way she moved on him._

" _Oh shit!" She cried, feeling him so beautifully. She was absolutely filled with him, so much that she felt she'd burst. How could anything feel so good? She wondered as tears dropped from her eyes and she threw her head back. "Don't stop!"_

" _Don't stop? Don't worry baby, I won't stop!" He said and grabbed her neck playfully, getting her down on her back where he held her even tighter before he went in, fucking her with powerful strokes that had her crying from how incredible it felt as he gripped her neck then brought his mouth to hers, tonguing her wildly all while Nick sat naked, 3 feet away watching them and stroking his massive hard on. Finally, he stood, making his way over to her and..._

"Nick!" She cried as she woke up, feeling his side of the bed for him and suddenly remembering that he wasn't there. As she lay on her back, her mind reeling from that dream. She ran her hands through her hair then reached for her phone and saw the time, 2:18. "Shit!" She mumbled

* * *

It was early that morning when she got up, unable to sleep anymore and headed to the kitchen after several trips to the bathroom to throw up and then a phone call to Zara. She bypassed the couch, rumbling about in Nick's tee shirt and not much else and went straight for the ginger ale. And couldn't help thinking how glad she'd be when this part of her pregnancy was over. She loved her babies but this morning sickness was a _no_ she thought as she took a couple of sips and sat down at the counter with her her bottle.

" _Tell me you want me and I'll fuck you so good...all night, just say the word!"_ She could still feel his body on hers. God she wished it all had been a dream.

On top of a headache and nausea, and having to be to work in just about 4 hours, she couldn't deal with this. _Why did you ever let him touch you in first place? You should've kicked his ass when he brushed against you that first time, but no. You had to test those waters!_ "...and now he's escalating!"she thought, saying it out loud and she knew that it was just a matter of time before this whole thing blew up in her face!

"Who's escalating?" Nick said sleepily from the couch in the living room and Olivia just about climbed the walls, he scared her so bad.

"Nick dammit, don't do that!" She screeched with her eyes closed and her hand over them while trying to calm her racing heartbeat.

"Oh god Liv, baby come here !" He said as he came towards her and took her in his arms. "It's okay, take breathe." He said as he kissed her head and she managed to start breathing normally.

"You scared the shit out me!"

"I'm so sorry mami." He said and kissed her again while he hugged her. When he felt her body relax, he pulled back to look at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just…" She said wiping the tears in her eyes then putting her hands to her stomach. "what are you doing here?" She said as she rubbed it.

"I got in around three and I was so tired I just crashed here on the couch. Babe are you sure you're all okay? You look a little pale." He said worried, and putting his hand to her stomach.

"Five trips to the bathroom where I either threw up or heaved like crazy with no results...I'm fine though. I'm just so glad you're home!"

"Missed me?"

"Like crazy!" She said as he wrapped her in his arms from behind. "You have no idea."

"Mami, what is it?"

"Nick, really. I just-"

"I know what you said, but I also know _you._ And I know something's bothering you-"

"How about we go get Zara and go to brunch before I go to in?"

"Don't change the subject"

"I'm not. Nick, I promise, I'm fine."

"You have an appetite?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Yes…no."

"How about we hold off on brunch until you _can_ eat. Plus, I'm pretty sure my mom is getting Zara ready for church."

"Dammit, she just told me that."

"You guys giving your mama pregnancy brain?" He said to her stomach. Olivia smiled, turning her head to kiss him.

"Why don't I make you some breakfast while you shower?"

"Are you trying to tell me I stink, Olivia Amaro?" He laughed as she curled into his neck planting more kisses.

"Never. You always smell delicious, even when you sweat. And I love it when you call me that!"

"Oh yeah? you mean how i called you Mrs. Amaro when we made love yesterday? God, the way you screamed my name, as you came over and over had me...

" _You gonna tell me that they didn't mean anything to you? The way you screamed my name, the way you came over and over? Hell, the way you almost came today?"_

"...and you look so damn good in my tee shirt, did I tell you that?"

"Come here!" She said, immediately pulling him to her. She didn't really feel like sex this morning, especially with her stomach unsettled but she needed to forget for now. If she didn't, she would undoubtedly confess everything and she wasn't ready to do that. And with that in mind, she swallowed the nausea that had risen to her throat and thought about how his incredible cock would be stretching and pounding her and she immediately began to get wet as he kissed her there in the kitchen, lifting her as she wrapped her gorgeous long legs around him.

"Fuck me!"

* * *

What was so important that you needed me to call and get you out of it?" Fin asked the very minute Olivia came into the squad room.

"Hello to you too." She said as she took off her leather jacket and put it on the back of her chair then threw her purse down in her desk drawer before she kept walking to the locker room where she sat down on the bench once inside.

"What's goin on?"

"I just...we were at his mom's house and family time was getting to me." She lied. The truth was, right after they'd made love and ravaged each other, instead of lying around lazily like they usually did, Nick decided that he wanted to talk. First asking her about the thing that started them this morning,

" _So earlier you said 'he's escalating!' who were you talking about?"_

Of course she told him it was a case but then one thing led to another and pretty soon, Manny came up. She asked Nick to get her a drink of water from the kitchen and quickly called Fin, begging that he call her and say she was needed earlier than they thought and now, here she was. Lying to Fin.

"I thought you'd gotten used to being part of all that."

"I did, it's just…" And she blew out a deep breath.

"I'm sorry baby girl."

"I just need to work. It'll take my mind off things."

"Don't worry, our secret."

"Thanks Fin."

"Don't mention it." He said and was on his way out when he turned back around. "Hey, how was your sonogram?" Being reminded of that actually made her smile and she put her hand to her stomach.

"God, I almost forgot to tell you; we're having twins!" She said happily.

"Wait, seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Liv, shit! Congratulations!"

"Now I'm really worried about telling Cragen. He's gonna put me on desk duty before I'm even showing."

"Well, in his defense, it's a little late for that…"

"If you value your life, don't say it…"

"And on that note, I'm out!" He laughed. "I'm gonna go and take a quick break before I head back into the box."

"How long you been at it?"

"Five hours so far! This guy..."

"Want me to take a crack at him?"

"You up for it?"

"Always. I'll be out in a minute."

"Room 2!"

"I got it!" She said as Fin left and shut the door. She laid back on the bench and shut her eyes, letting out a deep, slow breath as she ran a hand over her stomach. This was all gonna catch up with her sooner or later, and she only prayed that Nick would be able to forgive her when it did.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	23. When It Rains

**Chapter 23**

* * *

 **.**

 **The next day...**

"Baby, I'm home." She called in a not-so-loud and thoroughly exhausted voice as she shut the door and threw the mail down on the table in the hall. It was already after 8:30 and she knew Zara must be asleep.

"Look who's home!" Nick greeted her from where he was in the kitchen, storing dinner before putting it away and she turned around. "Hey." He said and kissed her lips. "You look tired."

"Your babies have me drained!" She said as she turned to embrace him but suddenly got extremely happy when she noticed, sitting on the counter what looked like... "Wait, are those your mom's empanadas?" She nearly squealed as she forgot about Nick and washed her hands really fast then went to the bowl, taking one. She practically bit half of it and was chewing blissfully before Nick could answer.

"They are." He laughed, thrilled to finally see her eat something other that ice cream. "She dropped off dinner on her way to Vida's." But Olivia couldn't focus on anything he was saying when she had legitimate heaven in her mouth!

"God, I didn't realize how hungry I was!" She said, taking another huge bite and grabbing another from the bowl.

"There's chicken and..."

"Thanks baby, but we're fine." She was all too content just as she was and quickly started on the second one. "I'm gonna go and-" she started just as Manny entered from the back.

"Sorry about that man, I had to take that." He apologized to Nick for the phone call that interrupted them a few minutes ago. "Olivia, hey!"

"Manny. Nick, I'm gonna go and get ready for bed." She said, shoving the last piece of her empanada into her mouth and giving thanks silently that he hasn't told Nick anything.

"Okay, I'm gonna go out for a little while. Will you be alright?"

"I'll be fine." She said, then turned and took a bottle of water from the fridge and kissed him before heading to the back, Manny looking so longingly at her as she walked away.

"You've got a beautiful wife, Nick."

"Don't I know it?" He responded, looking hard at Olivia's ass in her jeans before he turned around to Manny. "So, where we going tonight?" He asked as Manny took a seat at the counter.

"I don't know, I was thinking a strip club."

"A strip club? Okay, where did that come from?" Nick said, putting the last three storage bowls in the fridge.

"Come on man, naked women?!"

"Liv would kill me."

"So don't tell her. Come on, you love to watch-"

"Used to. I got a daughter and a wife now; it's not as fun seeing that stuff anymore."

"So what, if she has girls then that's it for me? No more fun?"

"Wait _she_?"

 _Dammit Manny!_ "...speaking future tense of course..." He said, praying that his attempted save went over well but already noticing Nick eyeing him close, trying to get a read on him. "What?"

"You sure there's nothing you wanna share now that mom's not here, tipo?"

"I'm sure." He said and sipped his beer.

"Okay. Look, I'm just saying, priorities change." Nick Said, going back to the original subject.

"Seriously, bro come on! Change em back señor perfecto, what's one night?" He asked, relieved. Just as Nick opened his mouth to answer, the doorbell rang.

"Hold that thought." Nick said as he went to answer the door, opening it to see Casey. "Hey counselor!" He joked.

"Hey yourself detective." She joked right back, letting herself in. "Is Liv home from work, my phone shitted out on me!"

"She is. Why don't you give me your phone and I'll plug it up."

"You're a godsend." She said as she reached in her pocket to give it to him when she noticed Manny and immediately thought _game on!_ "You have company. Very good looking company too. Who's this?"

"This is my brother, Manny." He said, plugging her phone into the outlet on the counter. "Remember, you guys met a couple times? Manny, this is Casey Novak."

"Hey." Manny said, shaking her hand.

"Hi."

"I'll get Olivia." Nick said as he made his way to the back. Casey went to make herself comfortable on the sofa, being sure to make a big deal of crossing her legs and when she knew that Manny was looking, although he tried not to. She stuck her chest out as she leaned back. Her lavender silk blouse clinging beautifully to her breasts in their black lace push up bra. She was so thankful now that she'd undone a couple of the buttons due to the unseasonable heat. She had him.

"Redhead huh?" He asked, having nothing else to say, but feeling the need to spark conversation as he moved to sit on the arm of the sofa. "I think I remember you." He continued, to which Casey just smiled.

...

"Hey babe-" Nick called upon entering the room. Seeing that Olivia wasn't there, he looked into the bathroom from where he was and saw the light out. He walked out of the room, leaving the door open and went to Zara's room. He gently opened the door, immediately lit by her nightlight and turned to see Zara, curled up against Olivia, both fast asleep. Olivia had completely passed out, still in her clothes and sleeping peacefully against Zara with her arm around her.

Nick smiled, thinking how beautiful they looked, and imagined all of them, in a few months when the babies were here. They'd be a family of five, just that fast, Zara would finally have the little sisters or brothers she's always wanted- though secretly, even though he'd love them no matter what, he prayed that when the time came, Olivia would give birth to boys.

He quickly came back to the present before going over to the bed and grabbing the blanket at the foot and covered her, then kissed her cheek.

"I love you!" He whispered to her, lingering there for a moment before he stroked Zara's head and kissed her then left the room.

...

"If I tell you something, you promise not to judge me for it?" Casey said as she poured herself a cold glass of water.

"Depends on what it is."

"Well, when I met you at the engagement party, I was so turned on, I wanted you right then and there!"

"'Wanted' me?"

"Seriously wanted you!"

"And now?"

"Now…" She said, shrugging her shoulders. "Now, it is what it is!"

"Really?" He smiled. Casey could tell right there that she had him and fought herself show how pleased she was with herself as she picked a grape from the fruit bowl and popped it in her mouth, then picked up her phone to see her missed texts.

"You promised not to judge me." She said as she perused through her phone.

"Oh trust me, no judgment here!" He said, smiling big as Nick reentered the room.

"Casey, you're out of luck."

"Don't tell me she's asleep."

"Passed out. I suppose I could wake her if it's an emer-"

"No no, let her sleep. I know how tired she's been lately. I'll just leave her a message." She said, picking up her briefcase.

"Okay, well Manny and I were on our way out, do you need a ride?"

"Thanks but I can get a cab." She said, looking at Manny.

"Nonsense, let me check to see the house is locked and we'll go."

* * *

 **1 week later...**

She knew that she'd said she'd wait until the paternity test was over and done with before she confessed everything to Nick, but the test was still another week away and then she had two weeks before the results would be back and she didn't even want to think about what she'd do while waiting for them. Plus, she still didn't have a sample from Manny. Chalk that up to an extremely busy work week where she and Casey barely saw each other. Casey essentially had no time alone with Manny except the brief phone calls she occasionally got in, but hopefully, that would be coming to a close tonight. Casey was getting off early and she and Manny had scheduled going out...or in depending on how you looked at it.

Meanwhile, ever since that night in her apartment, she was getting nervous every time Manny would be in their home, or he and Nick would hang out. She never knew how Nick would come back; if Manny would tell him everything. Would Nick confront her at home or would he one day show up to her work and that would be it? She was basically living each minute in fear of what Emmanuel would do.

As she sat at work doing her DD5's, she wished that she had a way to get a read on Manny just so she'd know where his head was. She couldn't ask Nick, he'd put it together and she couldn't risk that. _Why is he doing this?!_ She thought, annoyed as all hell, and she wondered just how much longer he'd carry on like this? Was this part of a plan to make her crack? Maybe to make her give in to him? Every day of the past week that she came home, he was there, either coming or going and she could feel his eyes on her and a couple times when Nick had his back turned, his hands. Either caressing her somewhere he shouldn't have or mouthing ' _I love you.'_ She was quickly put off and excused herself each time, always telling Nick she was tired which thankfully happened to be the case.

Usually she managed to keep her morning sickness hidden but lately it was as if her babies were telling her to get some rest, which she couldn't do. She had a full workload and in addition to it, still hadn't told Cragen that she was pregnant which was getting increasingly harder to hide when she couldn't go even an hour without a trip to the bathroom to throw up.

Lately this pregnancy, in addition to upping the morning sickness, had her just exhausted all the time and she wondered if this was just the first trimester, what would the remainder of it be like? Fin would tell her daily to "... _just tell Cragen and let him put you on desk duty. Get your workload lightened."_ But she assured him that she would be alright and that it would be just a little longer before she had to tell him anyway.

Early this afternoon, she was in the bathroom at work, sick when Rollins came in.

"Hey Liv" Amanda asked.

"Yeah Amanda." Olivia answered from her stall, trying to hold back the bile that was rising again in her throat but she was gagging terribly.

"Olivia, are you alright?"

"I'm… I'm fine." She said then vomited anyway. Her stomach already feeling much better. She flushed and came out of the stall, going to the sink and rinsing her mouth and splashing her face with water while Amanda just stood of to the side, looking at her.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." She said as she straightened up and pulled paper towels from the dispenser to dry her face. "Just...just a little pregnant." She smiled.

"Preg- you're pregnant? Oh my- Liv!" You'd have thought she just won the lottery she was so happy.

"I haven't told Captain yet, so…"

"Yeah, of course. How far; is it alright?"

"A little past nine weeks and yes, it's fine; they're fine, healthy so far!" She said with a hand to her stomach.

"Wait, _'they're'_ as in more than one? Are you having-"

"Twins; and they're already kicking my ass!" She said just as another detective entered the bathroom and Olivia gave Amanda a look.

"Hey Benson, Rollins." Detective Kelly greeted before she disappeared into a stall.

"I actually needed the Taylor file." Amanda said to Olivia.

"Okay, I'll be out in a sec."

With a huge smile on her Face, Amanda mouthed 'congratulations' as she backed out of the bathroom causing Olivia to laugh silently as she threw the paper towels in the trash, popped a breath mint in her mouth and checked her reflection before she walked out.

* * *

That night on her way home, Olivia stopped in the supermarket for ice cream and was on her phone while she waited in line to pay for it.

"Well, I'm at the restaurant waiting for Emmanuel."

"You sound nervous."

"I kind of am. Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Because I'm your best friend in the whole world and you love me?"

"No, that's not it." Casey laughed. "God, we have gone to lengths for one another, but I think it's safe to say that this takes the cake."

"Hey, I know that this is important but you can still back out if you want to."

"If this helps keep your marriage intact, I'm all in. Besides, I'm horny as hell so there's not a chance!" She and Olivia laughed when suddenly Casey looked across the room and spotted her target. "He's here."

"You have the swabs?"

"In my purse, I'll call you later. Wish me luck!" She said and hung up just as Manny approached the table.

"Hey." He greeted, looking beyond perfect in a grey fitted suit with a blue shirt that he wore with no tie as he leaned in to kiss a now standing Casey's cheek.

"Hey yourself." She smiled. Getting a whiff of his subtle cologne. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't show." She said as she sat back down and he followed suit.

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss the opportunity to take you out, get to know you… You look fantastic, by the way." He said, referring to the skintight, black lace dress she was wearing that rested just off her shoulders and that he could tell she wore no bra with (and he would find out later, no panties).

"Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself." She said and picked up her water glass, taking a sip as the waiter made his way over.

"I see your party's here." The waiter said with a heavy French accent.

"J'essaie d'impressionner la dame avec quelque chose de spécial. Apportez-nous un Château Montrose Saint-Estèphe 1996."

"Oui monsieur."

Casey looked on Impressed as the waiter walked away. "French huh? I wouldn't have thought."

"You speak?"

"Not much. I never had a head for Languages."

"I learned starting Junior high." He laughed. "I thought it would score points with the ladies, and over the years, I've picked up a few others."

"You've got me intrigued."

"Well, let's hope that I can keep your interests!"

* * *

Later that night as Olivia was lying in bed, partially asleep, her phone rang. She immediately opened her eyes and disoriented, looked at the clock.

"11:27, don't be work!" She prayed as she shook the sleep from her head and answered. "Benson."

"Did I wake you?" Casey asked. She sounded upset.

"No, no. It's okay. What happened? Did you get it?" She asked as she got up, hoping.

"Is Nick there?"

"He's working late. Casey, what…?"

"I'll be there in 10!" And she hung up, leaving Olivia wondering.

"What the hell was that about?"

...

"What happened?" Olivia asked as Casey walked in, truly pissed at the evening's events.

"We have a beautiful dinner. Great wine, conversation. Did you know he speaks French?"

"No, I didn't. Casey, what happened?"

"After it seemed that we were headed in the right direction, we go back to his hotel, we talk, kiss. His hands start to go to some very interesting places and then he just pulls away."

"What do you mean 'pulls away'?" Olivia asked as she sat on the couch.

"He pulls away; stops himself and says he can't!"

"He can't? Can't what? Can't perform?"

"No, he can't have sex with me because his heart is with someone else! What did you do to this boy?"

"Nothing, I… You don't know that he was talking about me. It could have been anyone!"

"Yeah, well _anyone_ needs to think of a plan b and quick because unless you go and ask him for that swab, your paternity test is a no. And we both know that with them being whole brothers, that test is no good without samples from both of them. Anyway. I'm gonna go home, pull out my biggest dildo and fuck myself silly until I fall asleep. I'll see you tomorrow!" She said, getting up and grabbing her coat and purse.

"Goodnight. And thanks." Olivia said, walking her to the door and feeling as defeated as she had to be, even though Casey's was for a different reason.

""Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just have to re approach this, that's all. Maybe you're right. Maybe I have to ask him for the sample. It's not like he'll refuse it. Get some sleep, we'll talk tomorrow." She said and let Casey out, locking the door and leaning there against it. "Shit!"

 **TBC...**


	24. It Pours

**Chapter 24**

* * *

.

She couldn't sleep all night even when Nick got home and put his strong arms around her. She just kept thinking what a mess this was. She was sure that Casey could get the job done but then Manny turned her down. _I mean, what single man does that?!_ She wondered. And Casey wasn't just any girl. Men made fools of themselves at the chance to be with her and last night she looked exceptionally good so what was the problem?

" _...he can't have sex with me because his heart is with someone else! What did you do to this boy?"_

There's no way he meant her. She thought. This was all just some misunderstanding. He was obviously talking about another girl; maybe somebody down in Miami. Definitely down in Miami… _And what the hell is up with him speaking French?_ She wondered. Usually, outside of it being his normal language, a guy like Manny would only speak French for two reasons: either he's in the company of other French speaking people or he was trying to impress a girl. And since he was with Casey, she's guessing the latter. _But why go to the trouble of impressing her if you just wanted to let her down later on in night?_ God she couldn't figure this guy out and now she was expected to go to him and ask him for his DNA? She had no clue how she would even begin on that one and with only 5 days to do it…

"Stop thinking!" She whispered to herself and turned, nestling close to Nick and trying to settle in for some sleep.

* * *

The next morning she woke up so sick, she couldn't move for fear of vomiting where she lay. Luckily, the worst of it passed after about an hour and she was able to get up and tend to Zara while she let Nick sleep the extra time before he had to be up. She tossed on jeans and a sweater, put her hair in a sloppy ponytail and took Zara to school, opting to drive instead of walking this time although it was only 10 blocks. When she got back home, she came through the door and ran right past Nick who was shirtless and drinking his coffee in the kitchen, sprinting for the bathroom. Worried, he immediately dropped his cup on the counter and went to see about her.

Later that morning with Nick off to work, Zara off to school and the day off, the house was empty and though she was feeling a little better though not much, she lay back down to give her morning sickness time to abate. She called Casey once she got comfortable, curled up under a blanket on the couch.

"...we have a delicious dinner, great wine, and we get back to his hotel and he's all hands, but then he just stops."

"He has to be playing a game, Case." She said, thinking about him. _"Tell me again how we can't do this!" He said with a smirk, his hand between her legs stroking her as she stood there, her nipples throbbing wonderfully and she couldn't stop this, god forgive her but she had to have him and she gave herself over to him, kissing him hard as he kissed her back, quickly going down to her neck..._

"Yeah, it's called 'I love Olivia!'" Casey said, bringing Olivia out of her thoughts.

"Will you stop? Manny doesn't…" With a hand to her mouth, she had to pause when she felt something coming up.

"Liv?"

"God I don't even know why they call this shit morning sickness, it lasts all goddamn day sometimes."

"Maybe you're not getting enough sperm?"

"Excuse me?!" God the things that came out of Casey's mouth sometimes!

"I read somewhere a while back that semen helps with nausea, and can even eliminate it." Olivia, in spite of feeling like crap, had to laugh at that one.

"Well let me be the first to say, it's bullshit; trust me on this!"

"Well, at least you're getting some, my friend." She said and put the last of the files into her briefcase. "I tell you, this guy, I am not letting him off so easily. "

" _Yes, in a tee shirt...and I wanna fuck you so bad in that tee shirt!" He said as he kissed her and she went dumb for a few seconds. God what was this effect he had on her? Her nipples were suddenly insanely hard and she cursed herself for not wearing panties. He was making her so wet with his voice and his lips that she was sure her arousal would be leaking down her thighs in a matter of seconds. And when he went in for that kiss, that did it and she squeezed her thighs together as she eventually turned her head and he caught her neck instead._

When Casey got silence from her again, she called to make sure she was still there. "Olivia; hello?"

"I'm sorry...it's this morning sickness." She lied.

"Well as I was saying, no guy has ever turned me down and he will not be the first."

"Oh god!" Olivia breathed, rolling her eyes.

"What?"

"You're taking this personally, which means it's now a challenge to you."

"It's not a challenge; I'm just gonna…" She laughed. "Look, I gotta get going, court won't wait. I'll call you later." And she ended the call. Liv meanwhile lay there, dreading the fact that she would have to go to Manny but decided to put it out of her mind for now. Sleep was calling to her as she snuggled under the blanket and closed her eyes, praying she'd feel better when she woke up and that she wouldn't dream about him.

...

After resting with a morning nap, she got up to relax in the bathtub while she soaked. Feeling loads better, she sunk into the bath, thinking about Manny. Thanks to Casey, she not only dreamt about him, but the sex was wild with Nick holding her legs open and telling Manny to _fuck her good!_ Now she sat here thinking about that last time they were alone together in this very apartment.

 _"I want you, do you understand that? I have been dreaming of having this body again. Of pleasuring this body until it can't take me anymore! You remember how good it was? How good it felt when my mouth closed over your clit? Over these nipples?" He said as he traced her breasts with his finger. At that point she was lost, her breath hitching uncontrollably and her knees threatening to just give out on her. "You remember the way my cock felt when it went inside you that first time?"_

Before she knew it, she was slipping her hand between her legs and rubbing her clit as she let out a long moan as her hand made contact.

" _I need you Linda... God you're so soft..." He said as he let his fingers dance over the silkiness of her, getting closer to that place between her thighs. And when he lightly touched her clit then abandoned it, she thought she'd burst. "You deny it but your body says otherwise...so this is what my babies have done to you?" He said as she felt her robe shifting at the top and felt his fingers as his thumb and forefinger pinched her nipple. Although it hurt, it was causing the most wonderful sensations. She felt a scream about to erupt in her throat but she held back, her breathing now harder and more erratic. "Tell me you want me and I'll fuck you so good...all night, just say the word!"_

 _Why can't I forget you?_ She thought as her fingers continued to work frantically between her legs. _Oh god!_ She felt her nipples grow hard and pinched the left one harder than she meant to, but crying out in pleasure all the same. Suddenly her phone rang, scaring her half to death and she slipped beneath the water. She quickly came up though, coughing and wiping her face of the excess water.

"Dammit!" She cursed as she pulled herself up and reached for the phone. She looked at the screen, and saw that it was Nick as she sputtered out another cough before she answered.

"Nicolas, you don't have to keep checking up on me." She said, trying to keep her breathing under control.

"I know, but you were so sick this morning..."

"Baby, I'm sick every morning." Some mornings way worse than others.

"Yeah, but this morning was pretty rough."

"I'm fine. I promise." She said.

"Are you alright? You sound like…"

"I was sort of in the middle of something when the phone rang!"

"Something like…?" He said coyly.

"Something like playing with my clit...after my morning sickness died down, I've been so incredibly horny and talking to you is making me want it all the more!" Right now she could imagine his mouth between her legs, devouring her clit and god she wanted it!

"You know, you are making it very hard for me to think about work right now!"

"Am I?" She said.

Nick looked around him, lowering his voice as he got up and walked towards the interrogation room. "Yes, you very much are! I'm thinking about your legs around my head while I'm driving you insane with my mouth!"

"Baby; I need you to come home!" She was fingering herself again. It was hard to think of anything else as far as she was concerned right now. Nick's voice, just hearing it was exciting the hell out of of her body and she needed him.

"Olivia, you're gonna get me-"

"Please baby?"

"Mami, I can't just lea-" But when he heard her whimper… "W- um what are you doing?"

"Something that I'd rather you were!"

"You are killing me, you know that?"

"So come home. Smack my ass, pull my hair, throw me face down and fuck me until I'm seeing stars. Just come home!" She moaned, getting frustrated.

"Damn I love it when you're nasty! I'll be there in 10!" He said and hung up. Olivia sat cursing herself that she had just mislead her husband but so happy that he was coming home for an hour to satisfy her needs.

She was preparing to get out when her phone rang again and assuming it was Nick, she picked up without looking at The ID.

"Don't tell me you can't come home, I need you!"

"Do you now?" Manny said, already extremely aroused just at hearing her voice. "I can fix that you know."

"Don't, Manny please. I'm already… Just don't!"

"Do you have any idea what your voice is doing to me? god I wanna-"

"This is really not a good time, hell why are you even calling me?" She asked as she got out of the tub and reached for her towel. She couldn't even think about anything except the dick she'd be getting from Nick any minute and it was making her very impatient to Manny's bullshit. She'd worry about that test later, right now...

"I hear water, are you in the bath?"

"I gotta go!"

"Olivia, wait-" He shouted but she had already disconnected the call, leaving him looking at his phone like a dummy and he couldn't help but laugh as he put the phone down on the bathroom counter.

"Why does she make it so hard?" He asked himself while he was in the mirror wearing a towel. "Come on Manny, you know it's always been that way, the best women are always the hardest to get...well not for me until this one, but hey. Everybody needs a challenge!" He mused when suddenly, Casey came to mind.

" _You're not wearing panties." He said, more intrigued with her than he meant to be but right now, she was absolutely blowing his mind. Like Olivia, she was tall, hell even taller and had a body that wouldn't quit with legs for days! Legs that his hand was currently trailing between and found her slit._

" _No, I'm not…" She said, pulling him back for more kissing…_

"Damn I should have fucked her! ...but then how would you get around that with Olivia buddy? You made the right choice. The redhead was hot, there's no doubt about that and I bet she'd be a wild fuck but, you've got bigger fish!" He said and looked at himself in the mirror running his fingers through his wet hair.

* * *

At Nick's precinct, he was walking through the squad room, happily on his way out when his captain called him from her office.

"Amaro, glad I caught you!" He stopped in his tracks, pinching the space between his eyes then let out a deep, silent breath before he turned around to face her.

"Captain, I was just about-"

"Sorry but Michaels just called out sick; the flu." She said. "Nick, we got the deputy mayor and he wants my best Detectives."

"Sooo…?"

"Well, I was gonna pair you with her for this but since that's not possible, you're going alone

"Alone on what?" He said as they walked into her office and she shut the door.

"The deputy mayor has a situation…"

* * *

"I don't believe this!" Olivia said as she read the text message on her phone and let out a sigh as she dropped the device next to her. "That's what happens when cops are married...Dammit!" She said as she got up from the bed, taking the phone with her and typing a message.

 _[No worries. I'll see you when you get home. Love you!]_ And she hit _send_ before tossing the phone on the nightstand.

She sulked and looked at the clock. _12:05, Zara won't be home until 3:30!_ She thought as she opened her dresser drawer and removed a simple, yet very sexy, pale pink cotton underwear set and slipped on the panties. She debated for a moment going without the bra but decided she'd need it when she elected that she'd take a walk. It was a nice day and she had nothing but time to kill. With that in mind she put it on, finishing up with jeans, a tank and a long sweater. She didn't bother with makeup, just lip gloss and then slid on some flats, grabbed her phone, her sunglasses and her wristlet and headed out, not thinking even for a minute that she'd eventually end up at Manny's hotel.

* * *

When she'd gotten to the Andaz and stepped inside, the first thing she asked herself was _What are you doing here?_ Yes, she'd decided that with nothing else to do that now would be the perfect time to talk to him about the test but now that she really thought about it, this was unnecessary. She could have asked Manny to meet her for lunch, the park, any public place. She didn't need to come here.

 _You're setting yourself up, Olivia. You've spent an entire week avoiding this guy!_ Was the voice she heard as she waited for the elevator. She could have just turned back around but come on, what could happen? She told herself that she was being ridiculous as she stepped on the elevator and hit 14, watching the numbers change as it went up.

She had just gotten to Manny's floor when the elevator doors opened and she stepped out. _Why do they bother skipping from 12 to 14? This is, in all actuality the 13th floor._ She thought, nervous musings as she made her way to his room. But why was she nervous again? Her stomach suddenly felt like she was on an upside down rollercoaster and she knew that it wasn't the pregnancy that was making her feel this way.

Again, that same warning that had come to her the last time she was here was gnawing at her. _Get out._ She arrived at Manny's door after shushing the voice and knocked. This time, he didn't take a minute before he opened it.

Of course he'd be half dressed; wearing sweatpants that rode low on his hips. You could see the v on his perfectly chiseled abs that lead to his- she was afraid to look lower. She knew from living with Nick how beautifully their cocks could hang, especially when there was no underwear to constrict them. "That was fast!" She quipped as she walked in. Manny again put the _do not disturb_ sign on the other side of the knob before he shut the door then turned around.

"You said you were on your way."

"Do you ever wear clothes indoors?"

"What? I'm wearing clothes." He smiled playfully, just like Nick.

 _Oh god, don't do that!_ She pled in her head as she bit her lip. "You have got to stop calling me; especially at home." She said as she put her wristlet down on the coffee table.

"Oh come on…"

"I'm serious, what if Nick had been there?"

"But he wasn't."

"That's not the point Manny." She said as she took off her shades.

 _Damn she was gorgeous! And not a drop of makeup._ He thought. "Then what is the point Olivia?" He said as he turned to sit and she stared at his back and that beautiful tattoo. It was an angel, his wings were spread over Manny's whole upper back, beautifully detailed wings and the angel was at the center, kneeling. It wasn't clear if he was crying or praying but Olivia just remembered dragging her nails down his wings as Manny was on top of her, slaying her-

"You know what? I didn't come here for this; I um I actually came to talk to you about...look, I'm having a paternity test done on Monday, next week and-" She started as she sat next to him on the sofa.

"But I thought you were so sure that these babies were Nick's...why have them tested?"

"Manny please don't do this. I'm asking you if you'll provide a DNA sample; I don't wanna beg you but-"

"I wouldn't make you beg Olivia!" He said as his hand came up and tucked her hair behind her ear then let his palm rest on her cheek.

"Manny, don't" She said softly.

"Don't what? Don't touch your skin that feels like silk? Or look at your beautiful lips?" He said and ran his thumb over them. She literally fought everything in her to not draw it into her mouth.

"I should go...I'll text you the address!" She stood up and started to walk away. She wanted to be fucked, plain and simple. She had gotten herself hot, Nick had gotten her even hotter and then left her dry. But she needed it so badly and if she didn't leave, didn't get out of here...but Manny was quick and grabbed her wrist.

"Linda wait…" He said standing. He took her face in his hand, gently by the chin and turned it up so that she was looking at him.

"I have to-" She started but he quickly silenced her with his kiss. Suddenly she didn't know what came over her. She knew that she should get out of there but in the same breath she didn't care and for some reason unknown to her, she kissed him back and then with her arms wrapped firmly around him, she kissed him again. Desperately and full of need, caressing the healing scratches on his face that she put there a week ago.

"I want you!" She breathed through her kisses.

"What do you want?" But she just kept kissing him until he grabbed her neck, not to hurt her and he slammed her against the wall, taking her by surprise and yet turning her on at the same time. "Tell me what you want!"

"You know what I want!"

"Tell me!"

"I want you to taste me, I want you to fuck me; oh god I want you to fuck me hard!" Was she really standing here saying this? She didn't get time to think it over because no sooner had the words left her mouth, he was all over her, kissing, licking, sucking and undressing her body. It wasn't long before he had her naked on the desk, pinned against the window while he put his face between her thighs and ate her into a frenzy as she pulled his hair, screaming as she came violently against his mouth! He didn't give her time to come down as he took her in missionary, not caring to be the least bit gentle. He fucked her with utter abandon while she cried out against him, once again running her hands down his back, trailing his angel once again and using it as a scratching post. After a while, he got her into the bedroom and flipped her over, taking her on her stomach while she gripped the sheets, gripped the bed, the pillows as she moaned and cried out.

"God forgive me...oh god forgive me!" She cried in absolute ecstasy. Manny simply drew closer, still fucking her and turned her head to his kiss, his hungry, passionate and desperate kiss that roamed her mouth with his tongue.

...

Sometime later, when she couldn't take anymore as he was fucking her furiously while rubbing her clit and she was begging him to cum when she did. Thankfully as she was screaming from her orgasm, he came as well, shooting his load into her well fucked pussy as he kissed her lips and she collapsed, her back to his chest. He held her as she trembled from the power of her orgasm, planting several kisses to her face and caressing her body. It was after that they lay in bed, silently, not a word between them.

 _How could I let this happen again?_ Was the only thing she could think of. Not how incredible the sex had just been. Not even how he ate her so good that she couldn't speak or that he made her cum so hard that she nearly blacked out. No, all she could think was that she'd cheated again. She'd done it again."I need to use the shower." She said as she got out of bed with his ejaculate running down her thighs.

"I can join you-"

"No. I'll just- no. She said as she went into the bathroom and started the shower.

...

After, she gathered her things and dressed, the guilt had already set in and she fought hard not to cry as she as put on her bra.

"So when can I see you again?" He said from where he lay in bed, naked as the day with nothing but a sheet thrown across his hips. She sat beside him, in her jeans and bra, holding her shirt and not really hearing him as she sat thinking how she'd just messed up big. "Liv?"

"Why do you want me?"

"What?"

"Why do you want me?"

"For the same reason I want air or water; I need you!"

She shook her head, giving an amused little smile then just as fast, she dropped it. "I came here to talk to you about the test, to ask you if you'd show up and be tested. This… It shouldn't have happened."

"Linda, come back to bed." He said as he sat up, rubbing her arms. God, he thought she was so beautiful as he felt her skin, pulling her brastrap down and kissing her shoulder. "Let me make you forget about-"

"I have to pick up Zara from school." She said blankly and got up, putting her brastrap back in place then slipped her tank over her head.

"Don't leave like this!" He said to her as she reached for her sweater, quickly putting it on as tears filled her eyes.

"Like what? Like I just cheated on my husband again? Your brother? I'm pregnant with his babies and yet I'm here with you."

"Olivia-"

"Don't!" She walked out of the bedroom and grabbed her bag from the living room. She got out in the hall and put her hand over her mouth as she cried, thankful that the elevator came quickly and she hurried onto it, needing to get out of there.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	25. And Now There's A Flood!

**Chapter 25**

 **To the guest reviewer who asked me "who's Linda?" It's a Spanish word, it means 'beautiful'.**

* * *

.

Just after leaving Manny's hotel, she rushed home and took another shower, a long one where she scrubbed everything, including her hair and mouth in an effort to get rid of every trace of him. Even douching in spite of knowing that she shouldn't while she was pregnant. She hadn't meant to let him cum inside her, hell, she hadn't meant to lay with him or to let him touch her period in the first place, but everything happened so fast and before she knew it… She felt guilty as hell but for the two hours that she was being fucked beyond sanity, she felt nothing except painful pleasure as he drove her body crazy! Manny hadn't taken her as carefully as he did the first time. This time he left marks; lots of them. Her hips, her waist, her arms; Jesus her thighs- there was definite proof that he'd been there this time.

" _Look at you, cumming all over my cock! You nasty fucking girl!" Manny grinned and slapped her ass as he fucked her harder, deeper, gripping her hips to keep her in place. It was simply too much and she was already face down, moaning and crying at how incredible it felt, totally forgetting what the doctor said about rough sex._

She shook away that thought just as quickly as it had come. "It can't happen again." She told herself. "It won't happen again!"What if he'd caused a miscarriage while she was enjoying the way that he not only fucked her but tossed her around like a rag doll? What if in the middle of everything her body had just quit out of spite and right there in his hotel room she'd started to cramp and bleed? Two months resisting him and she threw it away, threw everything to the wind just that fast and for what? She had asked herself that question two months ago, but two months ago she didn't have what's at stake now and that's what scares her the most in spite of her wants, and she wanted Manny. She wanted every nasty, dirty thing he did to her. She wanted the way he talked to her while he was doing those things, language that Nick wouldn't dare use, language that she would have been turned off if anyone else had used but Manny…

But it didn't matter because as of right now she was officially done with him! A light had finally been turned on for her and she couldn't lose Nick over this although she had already done so much damage!

By the time she got out of the shower and lotioned her body, she only had a half hour to get to the school and pick up Zara so she threw her damp hair in a ponytail, took the trash from the bathroom, dumping it in the garbage chute on the way out and left, reminding herself to stop at Duane Reade and buy a replacement just in case Nick would notice that it was missing. He probably didn't even notice her feminine products other than yes, she had plenty of them. But he did go into the bathroom closet often so, on the off chance that he did notice, she wouldn't be able to explain why a douche of all things were missing while she was pregnant.

...

Coming home with Zara, she was preoccupied the entire walk there, and was so happy when she picked her up to have a five year old talking her ear off. They stopped for italian ices on the way and Olivia sat listening to Zara go on about her day while she ate. Honestly, she was just grateful that she could have something to take her mind off of what she'd done but it got out right back when she got to the pharmacy. She got the douche along with some other things before they headed home.

When they got there, she carried the bag to the bedroom and was surprised to find Nick packing in the bedroom. She momentarily froze, dropping the bag as she stood there in the doorway sending things spilling all over the floor. _Had he found out? ...no, that's impossible. He's been at work; but then what is he doing here so early and has he already been in the closet?_

"Hello? Earth to Olivia." He waved, walking over to her from the bed and started picking up the contents from the bag off the floor. Olivia stood there, her senses slowly coming back to her, suddenly realizing that she'd spilled what was in the bag.

"...I can get that."

"No, it's okay, I got it." he said, putting the last of it back in the bag and not seeing the box that lay at the bottom that thankfully didn't get ejected when the bag hit the floor. "More toothbrushes and toothpaste?" He asked standing up.

"And some refills for the first aid kit. A five year old goes through a lot of band aids!" She laughed as Zara came in.

"That, they do. Speaking of, hey baby!"

"Daddy, how come you're home so early?" He quickly picked her up and smooched her cheek before he closed the last steps between he and Liv and took her hand.

"Well, I have to take a little trip..."

"Nick..." Olivia protested.

"Mami, lo se; but the deputy mayor needs an investigator."

"Daddy what's an inves-" She started but quickly forgot the word and looked to Olivia for help.

"Investigator." Olivia said with a smile. "It's someone who examines things to find the truth." She said, putting it in simple terms so that Zara understood.

"Hey Cariño, why don't you go and watch TV and we'll be there in a minute, okay?" Nick said

"Okay." She said, kissing his cheek as she happily hopped down and ran out of the bedroom, into the living room.

"Where and how long?" She said as he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist.

"Albany…" He said as he kissed her neck. "Three days... God you smell incredible!"

"Don't change the subject." She grinned, kissing his lips slowly.

 _Oh my...oh Manny...Manny! She screamed as he had her over that desk, fucking her from behind as she tried her best to…_ Suddenly, she pulled away, feeling sick to her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked, taking her hand as he was missing her on his mouth.

"Nothing, I just…"

"Mami, hey look I promise, when I get back-"

"It's not that"

"Then what? Talk to me." He said, not realizing that what she wanted to say, what she needed to say wasn't something that he wanted to hear, and was in fact something that would turn his whole world upside down. "It's not the babies is it?"

"No. They're fine." She said, putting a hand to her stomach, simultaneously thinking how hard she'd let Manny… Her hand was quickly joined by Nick's, once again, bringing her out of her thoughts. She wanted to tell him right there, to beg his forgiveness but she couldn't. Not when he was about to leave for a business trip and so she withheld.

"Then?"

"I… It's nothing."

"You're sure?" He asked just when his cell phone alerted him to a text. "Shit, that's my car to the airport! Are you gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine. You'd better go, it's coming up on rush hour and you don't wanna miss your flight."

"Okay, look…" He said as he zipped his bag. "I will call you as soon as I land..." They went through a long goodbye but eventually he was on his way to the airport. Olivia, thankfully didn't have time to wallow in her sadness as Zara kept her her mind off it and she was thankful for it. Although how much longer would all this last?

* * *

Later that night...

"He agreed." Olivia said as she poured Casey a glass of wine and herself an orange juice and took both glasses over to the couch. She had put Zara to bed an hour ago when Casey showed up, sending her into a panic. She hadn't told her about her latest fling with Manny and prayed to god that Casey wasn't very receptive tonight, because she was keeping that little slip up under wraps. But as luck would have it, there was no way he wouldn't come up, especially with Casey now on a mission to get him in bed.

"Wait, I thought you were waiting to ask him."

"I was." She said as she handed her a glass, then sat on the other end of the sofa. "But then I had some time before I had to pick up Zara so I went to see him and I asked him if he'd do it; he shocked me when he said yes."

"Why are you shocked? He's in love with you!"

"You are not giving this up are you?"

"Maybe after I've fucked him, but no." She laughed. "So Manny's taken care of, how are you gonna get a sample from Nick?" Casey asked taking a sip from her glass.

"His toothbrush."

"You've got this all figured out, huh?"

"Casey- don't, please. It's already been killing me just thinking about it. He doesn't deserve this, any of it."

"Liv;" She started, feeling guilty at her part in all this while understanding how Olivia was feeling. Maybe she could get through to Olivia. "I mean, maybe it's time to come clean."

" _Oh god, don't you stop- don't you fucking stop!" She cried as she ground against Manny's face while he ate her out in his hotel room._

"Liv…" Casey called to her.

"...only if that test says Manny is the father. And I pray to god that that won't happen!"

* * *

The more Casey chased after Manny, the more he in turn tried to go after Olivia. He thought that with what had happened between them in his hotel room it would make it easier to get access to her but he was wrong and would soon find out. Olivia wanted no part of him. That day in his suite had been a wake up call for her and she'd kept from him since that day. But he on the other hand made things damn near impossible for her. Plain and simple, he wanted more, only now he wasn't so composed about it, calling her all day and night. She tried several times explaining to him that what happened between them shouldn't have but it was hard to make him understand when she'd spent so much time letting him touch her in ways she shouldn't have, and telling him to stay away when she didn't mean it. Only now she did and she couldn't get it through to him.

Three days later at the office, she was feeling better about it all. Manny had persisted calling her, but with him having been extremely busy, calls had been all that she'd gotten.

Amanda was about to leave on her lunch break when she stopped at Olivia's desk on her way from the locker room.

"Hey, I'm gonna grab lunch, can I get you somethin?" Olivia dropped her pen and turned around in her chair, smiling.

"I'd say no but you'll get something anyway."

"We gotta keep these babies strong." She said, looking around before she rubbed Olivia's stomach.

"Amanda"

"I'm sorry. I'm just so excited!"

"Well be excited away from this office. I haven't told Cragen and Munch yet, remember?" She whispered.

"Okay okay." She smiled. "Now, about lunch."

Olivia smiled for a second before she gave up. "I'll take a fruit salad." Amanda smiled and grabbed her phone from her desk before she left. "Thanks!" And she turned to grab the phone that was ringing. "Special Victims, Detective Benson…"

...

Out in the hall by the elevators, Amanda was looking at her phone, waiting to get on when someone caught her attention.

"Hi, can you tell me where I can find detective Benson?" Tall, tan, dimples and ridiculously good looking like a certain detec-

"Nick's brother" Amanda said with a huge smile on her face and her hand extended. She remembered meeting him at Nick and Olivia's engagement party and then again at the wedding and she remembered how hot she thought he was. "Emmanuel, right?"

"Yes. I'm sorry…" He said, failing to recognize her.

"Amanda, we've met."

"Right." He said as he shook her hand. "...Olivia?"

"Oh, um right through those doors, can't miss her."

"Thanks."

"Anytime." And as they walked in opposite directions… "Holy damn!" She said under her breath as she got into the elevator. Manny heard her and smiled as he made his way down the hall.

...

In the squad room, Olivia was still on the phone at her desk phone when she looked towards the doors and nearly froze.

"Can I call you back?" She said as she hung up the phone and looked towards Manny, utter fear coursing through her. She cleared her throat of the lump that was suddenly there and finally found a small, shaky voice as he came over. "You came to my work? ...you can't, what are you doing here?" She practically whispered as she stood up nervously, looking around the squad room and so thankful that it was practically empty.

"I wanted to see you."

"Are you crazy?" She asked. "You are! You can't be here!" she said as she got up and took his arm, leading him towards the doors.

"What are you doing?" He laughed.

"You have to go."

"I was thinking we could have lunch; have you eaten?"

"No, look you can't be here!" She said while was still looking around to be sure that nobody would see them.

"Come on, what's a meal with your brother in law? Or if you're not in the mood for food...I could eat you!" He whispered as he reached, intent on touching her breast but Cragen appeared out of nowhere and he stopped, putting his hand in his pocket. When Liv heard his voice, she froze. Her stomach dropping to her feet.

"Liv, I need to see you in my office."

 _Say something Liv._ Captain, this is-"

"Nick's brother, Emmanuel right? Yes I remember. Nice seeing you again.

"Yes, nice seeing you." He said as he and Cragen shook hands while Olivia just looked on, not believing this was happening.

"Olivia, my office…?"

"Yeah, he was just leaving so…"

"Actually I-" Manny started but Liv quickly cut him off.

"So tell Nick I'll call him when I have a minute. Captain, I'm gonna walk him to the elevator and I'll be right there." She said as she grabbed Manny and walked out, unloading once they were out of sight. "Are you insa- we've already established that!"

"Linda, chill out."

"Manny, I have work to do and I'm sure you do as well."

"Fine, but I want you in my hotel room."

"You know that I can't-"

"You can't or you won't?"

"Manny-"

He looked around before he whispered in her ear. "I promise to keep you cumming…" He smiled and she wouldn't admit it but she was now aroused out of her mind.

"Dammit" she lowered her voice "you have got to stop this!"

"Say you'll meet me."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I mean it. I wanna see you and it can be now or-"

"Fine, just go. Please!"

"I'll see you tonight." He gloated and got on the elevator, waving at her as the doors closed.

"Dammit!" She mumbled as she went back inside the squad room. She took a minute to breathe and gather her head before she went to Cragen's office and acted like everything was fine.

* * *

That night, she had gotten home pretty late. Zara was already in bed asleep so there was nothing for her to do except say goodnight to the nanny, grab a hot shower and try to get some Sleep though she knew it wouldn't come. She didn't bother going to Manny's, not that she'd intended to in the first place. She just said whatever she needed to to get him out of her workplace. But now she wondered what he would cook up now that she didn't show up but she decided that she'd worry about it later, right now she just wanted to see Zara, grab a shower and go to bed. She was exhausted and just wanted sleep.

She kissed Zara and after the nanny was gone, she took that shower. Revelling in the heat of the water as it poured down over her tired body and she leaned against the wall with her hands resting against it and let it work its magic as she closed her eyes to the comfort and she took a minute before she reached for her shower gel and began to lather her body, causing the wonderful scent to fill the bathroom. It was after she'd gotten out of the shower and put on her pajamas when she heard a knock and reached for her robe as she crept silently towards the door. She got there and once again shook her head. _What the fuck is he doing here?_ She asked herself as she looked through the peephole. She didn't want to see him but she knew that he wouldn't leave if she didn't open the door.

"Manny-"

"You were supposed to come by my hotel Olivia. It's been three days." He said as he walked in. "How long am I supposed to wait?"

"I told you, what happened on Tuesday…"

"...was a mistake? Yeah, you said that...but somehow, I don't think you actually meant it!" he said as he let the back of his hand brush against her nipple. The sensation it caused was strong, sending a signal to her pussy that had her wet and she moved back quickly.

"You have to leave!" Although she wanted nothing more that to rip his clothes off, hell, rip her clothes off and just get more of that feeling everywhere.

"Why?"

"Because this wrong Manny, and I can't do it; I can't..." She said though not sounding very sure at all as he stepped closer.

"Linda…"

"No..."

"Come on baby" He said with his mouth dangerously close to hers. "Let me take your mind off of whatever's bothering you; you know I can."

This wasn't right, he was taking clear advantage. She simply didn't have the willpower to resist him anymore and in no time he'd had her up against the wall there in the small hall, trailing the buttons on her shirt.

"Please don't!" She said almost silently, helplessly.

"We both know you want me to."

"Manny-"

"ShhShhShhhh! Let me do this for you Linda!"

Slowly he pinned her hands up against the wall and was about to claim her lips when Zara, who was having a bad dream called for her in a scared voice.

" _MOMMY!"_

"Zara…" She whispered, suddenly finding her voice.

"She'll go back to sleep." He said softly as he came in for her lips but she quickly turned her head away from him. She left no room for argument as she wrestled her hands free and pushed his head away, pulling her shirt closed.

"You need to go."

"Oliv-"

"I'm not doing this, I won't risk my marriage again! Do you hear me, it's over!" She said sternly, holding the door open. He was gone long enough for her to lock the door before she went running to Zara's room amidst the sound of her crying out for her. While out in the hall…

"Dammit!" He said as he punched the panel where the elevator call buttons where, cutting his knuckles in the process. But he was too mad to notice and instead took the staircase.

...

Olivia rushed into Zara's room, turning on the bedside lamp as Zara jumped into her arms, crying. "Baby, it's okay. Shhhh." Olivia soothed, taking a seat in the oversized rocking chair as Zara held tight to her. "I'm here peanut." She whispered as she rocked her slowly and kissed her head as she held her in her arms, Zara quickly calmed down now that she was safe in her mother's arms and lay there inhaling her scent.

"The monsters were chasing me!" She cried.

"Oh baby, it's over now. I won't let any monsters harm you."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

"It was scary." She said quietly, her little voice a frail whisper in the silence and her head against Olivia's chest as she held tight to her.

"I bet it was, but you know what? That's why daddy and me are out there every day, keeping the world safe for you…"

"And the babies?"

"And the babies." She whispered into her hair, smiling as she kissed and rocked her, fighting to keep the tears that suddenly filled her eyes from overtaking her. "Why don't you try going back to sleep? I promise I'll be right here." but Zara was already on her way, her eyes getting heavy as she lay against Olivia's chest and curled her tiny fingers through Olivia's hair. And as Olivia looked down at her, at so much love right here in her arms she wanted to scream! She was drowning. Drowning in her lies, drowning in her desire for Manny despite knowing that she shouldn't and it was becoming too much for her to handle. She had a family now; a husband and a daughter and yet here she was, sabotaging it and for what?

"I love you Mommy..." Zara said sleepily, yawning. She then closed her eyes but Olivia was so shaken, her voice heavy with tears and she took a second to swallow the lump in her throat.

"I love you too baby." She said and continued to rock her, slowly coming apart right there but when she felt Zara's little hand on her stomach, that did it and her tears began to roll unstoppably.

 _God, what am I doing?_ She cried.

* * *

Nick came home early the next morning. It was Saturday and Olivia and Zara were still asleep when he got in and he went straight to Zara's bedroom by when he find her bed empty, he immediately went to he and Olivia's room. Seeing Zara curled up with Olivia made him smile when he walked through the door and he kissed his little girl, careful not to wake her before he went around to the other side of the bed and leaned over Olivia. He kissed her lightly at first, her nose, once, twice, then her lips. Sensual yet sweet.

" _Mmmmm."_ She moaned, fluttering her eyes open and so surprised when they came into focus. "Nick!" She immediately threw herself in his arms, unable to stop her tears. "Baby!"

"I was only gone three days." He laughed as he held her.

"I just missed you so much!" She whispered, just wanting to stay there in his arms. _God, did he always smell this good?_ She thought, keeping her face buried against his neck and then littering it and his face with kisses.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were happy to see me!"

"I don't have to be to work until 12." She said kissing him. "And Zara's gonna sleep late."

"And you want…"

"Please make love to me! I need to feel you, I need-" But he cut her off when he grabbed her neck with both hands and tongue kissed her deep. She right away took the hem of the shirt he was wearing and while they were kissing, she pulled it off over his head. Him pulling away just long enough for her to get it off then right back to kissing. She went down, kissing him all over his chest and she took his nipple in her mouth, he couldn't hold back another minute and stood up, pulling her with him and lifted her. She eagerly wrapped her legs around him as they kissed and he carried her out of the room and into the guest room where he shut the door with his foot and laid her down on the bed, thoroughly prepared to ravage her.

* * *

It was wild, nasty. He had taken her all night, finding a little sleep in the morning hours but he was up with the sun and showed her just how up he was and started in on her again. Driving her and her body absolutely mad with his.

He'd taken a few hits of cocaine. He wasn't an addict by far but last night, he needed it and he was in the same place this morning- pain in his heart. And so when he saw her at that club last night, he'd known it was destiny. They'd fucked in the bathroom at the club- just a little taste until they got back to his hotel and he really put it down. He had he screaming and clawing at him all night and this morning was much of the same. He woke her with his head between her legs and right now he was fucking her senseless, again.

" _Baby…Baby please!"_ She cried over and over but there way no way he was stopping. Not until he'd fucked away his anger at _her_ and he was almost there.

After their nightlong sex fest, she lay there in his bed, in his arms. He was careful that he held her, caressed her, did all the things that he knew she'd skip her sexy ass over to Olivia's to share.

"I'm so sore- jesus what the fuck?!" They laughed as he tossed the condom in the trash then kissed her shoulder.

"We could go another round!" He said as he kissed her mouth.

"I have to be to work in an hour!" She said, kissed him again then got up to search for her clothes while Manny lay back smiling.

 _Let's see how long you stay away when you find out I fucked your best friend!_

* * *

After their lovemaking, there in the light of the sun, she began thinking about what she'd done with Manny. It hadn't really left her alone and why should it? She'd once again betrayed Nick, betrayed her marriage. _How could you be so completely stupid?_ She asked herself like she had everyday since this happened.

 _They were still keeping things relatively secret and were happy that that night, it was late and they were pretty much alone in the precinct save for Fin. It was quiet, (the joys of working overnight)_ _so to avoid boredom they'd had the TV going. She'd excused herself to go pee and was surprised on her way out, Nick caught her coming out the door and he was very quickly on her, pinning her to the wall directly outside._

" _Are you crazy?" she said laughing as she looked around. "Fin's out there."_

" _Sorry, but I couldn't go another minute without kissing you!" He smiled as he caught her lips in a very sensual embrace, first brushing them with his before he kissed them. His tongue sought entrance as he licked her lips and he was very happy when she parted them to let him in. They must've stood there in that hall kissing for what seemed like forever until they both needed air and broke apart, still stealing kisses. "Would it be so bad it we got caught?"_

" _You'd think you've thought about it." She joked, but he wasn't laughing anymore._

" _I have… I'm falling in love with you."_

 _It was the first time he'd said those words to her. She'd heard them plenty of times from other guys but it was usually in the throes of sex and she never thought to take it seriously. But here Nick was at 2:15 in the morning, in a hallway with a TV playing Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives in the background and the look in his eyes- she knew that he was for real…_

Coming back to now, she turned to look at her gorgeous sleeping husband. He was lying on his stomach with his arm around her and sleeping so peacefully and she reached out to caress his beautiful face. Like usual, he had grown some stubble since last night and he looked so sexy with it covering his face she thought, and then brought her fingers to his hair. He had a few curls that had fallen over his eyes as he slept and she gently brushed them aside with her fingers and just stared at him; tears coming to her eyes and she whispered to him as they started to flow.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to do this; never meant to cause this… I love you so much! You are the greatest husband and the best father and I wish that I could take it back; I wish I could go back and undo it!" She cried. "I don't deserve you, I don't deserve Zara or these babies or to be so happy when I messed everything up but I swear to you, I will never be unfaithful again. I love you, and I love our family. I want us!" She cried as she put her hand to her stomach then looked up. She wouldn't mess up again. She'd get that test and when it came back she'd be done. She had her future lying here beside her. She had just kissed him when she felt the nausea and she put her hand to her stomach to calm it but it wanted out, and as it made its way up her esophagus, she hurried out of bed and ran into the bathroom while Nick opened his eyes, tears falling onto the pillow.

"What did you do?"

* * *

 **TBC... Please review.**


	26. Drowning

**Chapter 26.**

 **To the guest reviewer that says Manny raped Olivia, I think you need to read chapter 20 again. He actually didn't. Also, I know I promised the paternity test in this chapter by it didn't fit and so, next chapter?**

* * *

.

All that morning, he looked at Olivia as if she were new and he didn't recognize her. He got up from the bed after Zara came in and "woke" him and he immersed himself in his daughter from that point on, not wanting to think about what he'd heard Olivia say but how could he not? She admitted to cheating and as he stood with his back to the counter, drinking a glass of pomegranate juice while Zara sat and ate her breakfast, babbling on about something or other, he was an absolute wreck. Having moments like now where he imagined her lying down and there was some man on top her her, in between her thighs. Thighs that were meant for him only and that man was in her most secret place- his place and he was fucking her and she enjoyed it!

Who was it? When? And did he know the guy; the guy that he'd fucking demolish when he found out who he was?Did she enjoy him, did he make her cum?He was jarred from his thoughts when he heard Zara calling to him as Olivia entered the room, having just showered and dressed, and saw the glass that was now broken in his hand, dripping blood and juice where he stood and Olivia came running.

"Baby, are you alright? Let me me see." She said in a panicked voice as she held his hand up and over the sink.

 _Does she call him 'baby'?_ He wondered as he stood there, motionless, just looking at her.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Zara asked him, scared of the blood and having abandoned her cereal and strawberries.

"I'm fine mi amor. And I'm sorry I scared you." He apologized while Olivia rinsed his hand and took out the glass that she saw.

"I don't think you'll need stitches, but-" She began as she dried his hand with paper towels. He had a huge cut on the heel of his hand and she did stop the bleeding but she was worried. Nick just shrugged it off, moving his hand from her grasp and heading towards the back of the apartment.

"I'll be fine." He said as he disappeared, leaving Olivia confused.

"Mommy-" Zara called to Olivia for assurance.

"He's okay peanut. Don't worry." She said and picked the child up, caressing her face to comfort her while being bewildered at the sudden change in Nick. "All done with breakfast? Yeah? Why don't you go and pick out what you wanna wear today before I leave?"

"Can I pick anything?"

"As long as it's in your closet." Olivia said, secure in the fact that they put away Zara's summer clothes weeks ago.

"Yay!" She said and hopped down, running to her room. Olivia took a minute to look back at the mess on the kitchen floor and went to clean it before heading back into the bedroom to see what was bothering Nick.

* * *

" _I never meant to do this; never meant to cause this… I wish that I could take it back; I wish I could go back and undo it! ...I will never be unfaithful again._ He thought of her words and they literally made him sick as he went running for the toilet and released the anger, the hatred and betrayal he felt. _How could she?_ It was the same question he'd been asking himself all morning. How could she?He straightened up and flushed the toilet, going to look at himself in the mirror and he felt the tears again. This wasn't like it was with Maria. He'd known exactly what she was from the beginning but he wanted to provide a home for his baby but Olivia; he knew her. Two years they dated before they were engaged and six months before they got married.

"Two and a half years!" He seethed. "Two and a half fucking years and she does this!"

* * *

With Olivia gone to work, Nick spent most the day with Zara. Making sure she had fun before he dropped her off to his mom's house. He knew that he'd promised Zara that this weekend was for the three of them. but he had questions that he just couldn't ask with her around and so, he called his mother to see if she could take her for the weekend.

Olivia on the other hand had such a busy day at work that she had no time to think about Nick's attitude and when she did get a minute later in the day, Casey was on that time with news of her own as they sat in her office.

It was strange, she should have been feeling some sort of jealousy at the revelation that he'd apparently gone straight from her house and picked up a woman but surprisingly, she wasn't. She and Casey both knew why Casey wanted him but it was more than that on his part. When he'd run into Casey and they ended up fucking, did he not think that Casey would tell her everything? They were best friends, of course she- son of a bitch!That's why he didn't want to sleep with her the first time they went out. He knew that Casey would tell her and then she wouldn't want anything to do with him but last night he was upset and so he figured-

 _What an ass!_ She laughed to herself.

"I'll tell you something and you were right" Casey said. "I can hardly sit down...god, that man has a huge dick and he knows quite well how to use it!"

"Runs in the family." Olivia said, thinking of Nick and how they drove each other insane this morning with their lovemaking. She took a sip from her smoothie and smiled knowing what he had in store for her tonight.

* * *

Nick was a mess. When he dropped Zara off, his mother could see that something was bothering him but he told her that it was nothing, that he and Olivia just wanted some time and he left before she could put in more questions.

Since he got home he's just been sitting there at the kitchen counter, not moving an inch but thinking. Maybe he'd heard her wrong except he didn't, though he wished to god that he had. He took another sip from his beer and flexed his hand that he'd cut earlier then picked up his phone from the counter. 7:32. She'd be home soon and he wondered what the hell he'd say to her when she walked through that door.

* * *

Coming into their building she couldn't wait to get upstairs to Nick. Now that she'd gotten Manny out of her system, she wanted more than anything to be with Nick and to show him just how much she loved him and that she was committed, heart and soul to this relationship.

"Hey Olivia." The blonde older woman from their floor said as she got out of the elevator.

"Mrs. Longworth, hi." Olivia smiled as she got the mail from the box and locked it.

"How's Thursday for Zara?" She said. She was an old woman, widowed, and she loved taking Zara to Museums when she had the chance in between her work.

"Thursday's fine. She's already excited."

"Oh good. Well, I can see you're in a rush so I'll let you up to that husband of yours. You say hello for me."

"I will." She said as she ran and caught the elevator.

She remembered after Zara had woken up crying last night, she'd had a long moment where she lay there in bed thinking and she decided that she had to let it all go. When she thought of everything that she and Nick had been through together, everything they meant to one another, she knew that she'd been stupid and reckless but never again. And when Nick came home this morning and they made love, reconnected, she knew it even more, Manny and her infatuation with him was over! She had what she'd wanted, what she'd wished for since she could remember; she had her family. She had a husband who loved her and a child that she adored and who adored her and she had these babies on the way. She could feel them inside in spite of the doctor saying it would be a few months before she would actually but she knew better. She had bonded already with these babies, even before, when she thought that there was only one of them and she felt them lying in her womb protected from anything that could hurt them. And soon they'd be out, in the world, in she and Nick's arms and when she thought about it, she felt so grateful for Nick and for second chances, even if he didn't know that he was giving her one.

She began rubbing her stomach as the elevator came to a stop at their floor and she got out balancing the bag she was carrying that contained the takeout she bought for dinner, along with her purse and the mail while trying to find the house keys as she walked the hall to their apartment.

...

Inside Nick was still sitting at the counter when he heard the front door open and shut. He listened while she hung her jacket and purse and then dropped her keys in the bowl on the small table by the door before she came into the main area, carrying a bag and looking at the mail.

"I was thinking, maybe we shouldn't find out what I'm having in a few weeks. This will probably be our only pregnancy and I kind of want to be surprised." She said as she sat the bag and mail down on the counter and kissed him before she noticed how quiet it was. "Baby, where's Zara?"

He was so detached as he kept looking at the beer in his hand, and tears started to form in his eyes. "My mom's house." But she had already gone to the bedroom to take off her gun and put it in the lock box.

"But we were gonna watch Cinderella again." She yelled from the bedroom. Nick didn't answer, just continued to sit there, staring into nothing. After a couple minutes, she came back into the kitchen. "Baby, did you hear me?" She asked as she began unpacking dinner. But Nick was still somber for a moment passed, a moment where he gathered the nerve to ask Olivia the question that he was sure he didn't want the answer to.

"When?"

She looked at him from where she was standing. "When what?"

"This morning, after we made love..." He said as the tears came to his eyes. "...and you thought I was asleep, you…"

By this point, she'd stopped unpacking and was standing there looking at him in shock.

"Nick; I can…"

"I heard every word. _"...I will never be unfaithful again."_ Unfaithful." He said as his tears dropped and he got up and walked around to where she was standing. When she saw his tears, her heart broke clean down middle. "That was the hardest part; because here I was thinking that we were happy!"

"We are happy." She said to him as her own tears rolled down her face. "I swear we are…"

"When?"

"Just let me-"

"When?"

She hung her head looking for the words. "I'm sorry." She cried in a voice so low it was almost unintelligible but then the sob came and with it, her voice and she came undone. "I never wanted this to ha-"

"Tell me when."

"Nick-"

"When Olivia?"

With her shame all over her face and the tears that couldn't wash it away, she looked up at him.

"It...oh god!" She cried. "It was two...two weeks before our wedding…" She said with lost breath, in between sobs.

How could you do this to me; to _us?_ " He cried, trying to hold his tears but they fell. "How could you do this us mami, how?"

And when she answered, she gave him the truth through her tears.

"I don't know, I don't…"

"You don't know… What about me? Huh, what about Zara? Did you even think about us?"

"I didn't think baby, I know. I just..."

"You just what? What Olivia? Did you think at all that this would end us?"

"Don't say that!" she cried, putting her hand on his arm to see him recoil from her touch. "We can talk about this, let's just..."

"Is it someone I know?"

"Please don't do this-" She said walking away but he wasn't having any of it and walked up behind her, taking her arm to turn her back around to face him. Tears be damned, though it hurt him to see her crying, she 'would' answer him.

"Who was it, Olivia?" He had expected her say it was a guy she met at a meeting, or an old lover but he wasn't prepared for what she actually said as she looked down, still crying, unable to meet his eyes and with great hesitation.

"Your brother."

He didn't even know it was happening. In an instant, he'd grabbed her up by her neck, something he'd never done before to any woman, and choking her with absolute rage! He pulled his hand back to hit her but just as his hand was an inch from her face he stopped and he looked at her. She was terrified and had absolute fear in her eyes. In that moment, he saw his father in himself and immediately let her go. He looked at her, standing there against the wall with her arms wrapped protectively around her stomach, shaking and he snatched his keys from the kitchen counter and turned to leave.

"Nick…" She called to him but he didn't stop. He didn't turn around as she followed, he just kept walking out the door. "God!" She yelled, clearing the table in the hall with one swipe of her hands, sending the key bowl, lamp and other trinkets falling to the floor amidst a loud clang as she pushed her hair back and sank to the floor in the small entryway and cried.

"What have I done?"

* * *

Instead of going out that night, Manny had no business to tend to so he opted to get Casey over and with her not having any plans (that she would have cancelled if she did) she jumped at the chance telling him she'd be there quickly.

He knew that she wouldn't waste his or her time with small talk. She was coming for one reason, to fuck. And as soon as she came in the door, he planned to be on her, stripping her fast and fucking her slowly. He wanted it to last so she'd have even more to tell Olivia. Right now, he was standing against the window, talking to her on the phone with face time.

"I need you out of those pants!" Casey said referring to his cashmere sweats that he was wearing with no shirt and that already hung ridiculously low on his hips.

"How do you know I'm wearing any?" He laughed just as there came pounding at the door and he looked over his shoulder. "I'll get rid of whoever it is." He said as he went toward the door. "When you get here, I want you in that bedroom, ass up and naked when you get here." He said and hung up right as he opened the door and Nick's fist came flying at his face, knocking him backward. He was so stunned by the hit, he fell down and Nick walked into the suite as he came at him.

"You fucked my wife?!" Nick said as he pulled Manny up, his mouth bleeding. "I let you into my home and this is what you do? You fuck my wife?" He knocked him on his ass after punching him the jaw, hard. "GET UP!"

"That's 2…" Manny said from where he lay wiping the blood trickling from his mouth before he got up. "You don't get any more freebies!"

"You son of a bitch!" Nick said and ran at him, knocking him into the coffee table and broke it, landing another punch before Manny scrambled and turned them, putting Nick's back against the floor and punching him in the kidneys, then his jaw, completely taking the breath out of Nick.

"I didn't want you to find out like this hermano!" He said as he punched Nick again in the face. Luckily Nick recovered quickly and when Manny was going to deliver another punch, Nick blocked it, hitting him in the nose, then the jaw and knocked him off, quickly getting up and standing over him, his own blood dripping from a cut to his cheek.

"You son of a bitch!" He said, straddling Manny and just pummeling him. it was like he was possessed and just kept delivering blow after blow as Olivia came running into the suite.

"Nick stop!" She cried as she saw Manny on the floor, blood running from his nose and mouth and Nick beating him senseless. "Baby please!" She begged but he was beyond angry at that point and went back to beating Manny. "Nick, that's enough!" She screamed, literally pulling him off of Manny.

"You don't tell me when it's enough!" He yelled, escaping her hold on him and wiping his own blood from the cut on his face with the back of his arm.

"I came to stop you from doing something stupid, what the hell are you thinking?"

"Now you're worried about me? Tell me, were you worried when this piece of shit had you on your back fucking you like a common whore? Huh, were you worried about me then?"

She stood there trying to keep her tears at bay but the hurt she felt... "I deserve that." She said in a muted voice that was laced with the tears she so desperately wanted to cry.

"Yeah you do; deserve that and a whole lot more!"

"Don't talk to her like that!" Manny said but Nick didn't even regard him.

"So how many times did you enjoy your little boy toy, huh? How many times did he laugh behind my fucking back because he was fucking my wife?!"

"Please don't-"

"HOW MANY TIMES?!" He yelled, causing her to jump as her tears came in huge drops.

"Three!" She finally broke into sobs. "It happened three times...but Nick I-"

"Jesus! Are these even my babies?" He asked through tears the question she didn't want to ask herself but now had no choice as she looked at him, the sorrow of the world weighing on her. The fact was, as much as she hoped and prayed that the test would tell her what she wanted to hear, right now she just didn't know. And that, more than everything broke her heart. Except now, she had to break his too.

"Let's talk about this at h-"

Manny got up from the couch. "You don't have to answer that; you don't…" But Nick was enraged and he charged at Manny, the two of them about to come to blows yet again but Olivia quickly got in between them.

"Nick please!" She begged. "Let's just go home and talk about this, please!" But he just laughed with tears in his eyes before he looked down at her.

"We don't have a home anymore; you made sure of that when you took him to bed! You wanted him so bad?" And he turned to his brother. "Enjoy her, you two deserve each other!" He spat, then walked out.

"Nick…" She wept but he kept going. "Don't, let's just…" But he walked out the door, and she stood in the middle of the living room crying, holding her stomach and wondering what the hell happened? Everything had just collapsed beneath her and when Manny came up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders and thinking that he was making it better. That his touch could fix the problem, she lost it.

"You'll stay here. There's no reason for you to go back."

"You don't get it do you!" She screamed, angrily and in tears. "I don't want this and I don't want you!" Then walked away, leaving him standing there.

* * *

 **TBC… Please review.**


	27. Drowning (Part II)

**Chapter 27, picks up where 26 left off.**

* * *

 ***chapter contains rape***

...but Manny was sick of this. He was tired of playing second fiddle to Nick and he was especially tired of Olivia giving him the runarounds. He knew that she was in love with him but she couldn't see it because she was so bent on Nick and that made him angry. So angry, that he ran and grabbed Olivia by the arm before she could reach the door and walk out of the suite.

"Are you insane? Let go of my arm!"

"What is it gonna take to make you see that it's me you want?"

"You've lost it" She struggled and got away from him, continuing on her way out the door.

"Don't walk away from me!" but she kept going. "I said dont walk away from me!" He screamed and pushed the door shut as he grabbed her arm again.

"Let go!" She reiterated with a hefty slap that stung terribly against his bruised face but he didn't let go and instead, he pulled her to him. Holding her tight and kissed her mouth sloppily and when she bit his already bloody lip, hoping he'd pull away, she was surprised when he grabbed her by the neck.

"So that's how you want it?" he said as he ripped her blouse open.

"What the hell are you-" She struggled to get his hand off her throat.

"Why can't you see that he doesn't love you?!" He yelled as he threw her into the wall and was on her before she could recover. He was on her back, tearing off her jacket and suddenly in that moment, her brain went blank and she couldn't think. She couldn't remember how to utilize her body to fight him off, how to use her arms or her legs to hurt him. She was simply frozen.

"Manny listen to me. The babies-" She began pleading as he spun her around and kissed her hard then wrapped both hands around her neck and dragged her into the bedroom with her feet barely touching the floor. Everything was happening so fast and she couldn't breathe with his hands around her neck! She clawed at his hands but they were far too strong as he threw her onto the bed, releasing his hold on her neck as she began coughing, trying to suck in breath.

" _I_ put those babies inside you, pledged my love and commitment to you but you still want him?!" He said as he climbed on her back. "What does he have that I can't offer you? I can give you EVERYTHING!" He said angrily as he grabbed the waistband of her jeans. In that moment something finally clicked In her brain and she realized that he was going to rape her as he pulled them down her legs and destroyed her panties as he tore them away. "You are gonna learn to love me Olivia. And you will, I promise. Even if I have to fuck you into submission!" He said before he plunged inside her and began fucking her brutally amidst her tears as he covered her mouth. She cried beneath his hand when he entered her as she was dry and the pain was incredible and she lay there gripping the sheets, unable to believe that this was happening to her.

"This pussy's too good for Nick!" He said as he pumped her hard and squeezed her breasts as he fucked into her like an animal. "What you need is a real man to handle you and handle _it_." And he slapped her ass hard, as he tore into her over and over again.

Now would have been a great time for Casey to arrive, but she had just sent a message to Manny saying she got called into work and couldn't make it after all, giving Manny all the time in the world to assault Olivia.

* * *

Nick wandered the streets of the city just driving aimlessly until he came to a beach and just sat there in his car, staring out at the water for what seemed forever to him before he got out and walked.

He was close to the water when he decided to sit. The beach was empty and it was cold there that night. Just him and the tide as he sat along the shoreline and picked up a seashell, throwing it into the ocean, and then several others. For some reason he thought back to that day when Manny told him Olivia had been faithful to him and thinking back to that day, now he wanted to punch something.

 _"Nicolas… Why did I get involved with this?"_

 _"Porque me amas?"_

 _"Too much sometimes." He laughed. "And for the record, she didn't bite."_

 _"Nothing?"_

 _"Nope, and I laid it on pretty thick; you've got a good woman brother!_ "

"Good woman! She was probably fucking you already, you little shit!" He said as he looked to night sky. "FUCK YOU OLIVIA!"He yelled as loud as he could as he started to weep. "Fuck you!" He cried as he sat there, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow him. Maybe then this pain in his heart would cease.

* * *

She begged him to stop. It was just too much, too painful and she pleaded with him but her pleas fell on deaf, angry ears as he grabbed a fistful of her hair, pulling it back tightly as he went even harder on her and some time passed before he finally gave her the rest she so desperately needed. As he pulled out of her, she turned away from him, half dressed and so much shock running through her that she simply curled up into a fetal position, not wanting to be touched or looked at; not even spoken to. She just felt violated.

"I love you. You know that, don't you baby?" He said as he lay beside her and caressed her hair. He was sweaty and exhausted, having spent all of his energy punishing her but now he felt like he should appease her and decided to talk. "I love you so much! ...it's like...there's this fire inside me and sometimes it just burns so heavy-" But she just lay there in that fetal position, trying hard to process what just happened. She didn't imagine it this time because of guilt she was feeling at wanting him. No, there was no false claim this time to malign him. He'd done it. He'd raped her! "Look, Linda, I'm sorry that I had to be firm with you. Trust me, I didn't want to, but how else should I be when you hurt me like you do? I'm sorry, but you needed to understand where I was coming from."

As she closed her eyes and let tears drop, he still continued.

"But as a plus to you, do you know how fucking amazing you felt? You, around my dick, so tight..." But still, silence on her part. "Linda? Comeon baby. I know I was rough but damn, I wore you out like that?" He said with a laugh as he reached over and ran his hand along the curve of her hip and kissed her shoulder. She thought she'd vomit. He found something funny about having just raped a woman. His own brothers wife. But then he got angry at her lack of enthusiasm and grabbed her face, turning it violently towards him. "I'm fucking talking to you!"

She was terrified looking at him. His face had changed the minute hed grabbed her in the livingroom and she no longer saw the beautiful man she once did. The one she risked her marriage to have. He was something ugly like those monsters in the fairy tales she read to Zara. Only this one was real. "You took what you wanted, I just wanna-" She said in a small voice.

"He's still on your mind, isn't he?" He said as he gripped her wrist.

"Let me go..." It came out as more of a plea than she'd meant it to and he sensed it.

"You're still thinking about him." He said gripping her tighter. She was trying to get away from him, turning her wrist to free it but he, with his long and strong hands had it locked and she wasn't going anywhere! Here she was, Naked, she didn't have her gun, there were no weapons of any kind in this room and she was sure that he could get to her before she could lock herself in the bathroom.

"I just wanna go…"

"And now you're lying to me?"

"Please-"

"You wanna go to him! I give you my attention- my love after he dumps you on your ass, treats you like you're nothing and still, you don't learn?" He said as he pulled her to him and she fell back down on the bed. They struggled for a moment but he ended up on top of her, looking into her eyes and smiled.

"Manny, please let me-" She started as he slammed his mouth over hers. She had to think fast and decided to go for the lamp on the nightstand, but it was if he'd anticipated what she would do and as she reached for the lamp, he grabbed her arm, pulling it away. "NO!" She screamed as she struggled beneath him. "HELP ME! SOMEBODY H-" She screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping that somebody in that hotel would hear her but it was all she could get out before he covered her mouth.

"Shut. Up!" He ordered her, trying to get between her legs but with all of her struggling, actually trying to fight him off while he tried to pin her arms down with one hand, it wasn't easy. "You are going to learn to live without him, do you hear me? I am the one you want, the only one!" But she couldn't hear him with her crying and trying to get away from him. She was starting to hyperventilate, she was struggling so hard. And when he got in between her legs and she felt him right there at her entrance that he'd already violated, she couldn't let it happen again, she wouldn't. This time, with all the strength she had she reached a second time for the lamp, trying hard and when she did, when she managed to slide herself back and grab the lamp she wasted no time in cracking the heavy base against his skull, knocking him out.

Pushing him off of her, she got out of that bed absolutely trembling! For a brief moment, she stood over him, and she debated if she would kill him, just take that lamp and bash his head in for what he'd done! "You bastard!" She said in the darkness of the room with tears running down her face. But she quickly abandoned the thought of it. If she killed him she'd be caught. Everyone would know what he'd done to her. Everyone would know that she froze and couldn't fight back. Everyone would know about she him and she and Nick. She'd be separated from her babies, from Zara and Nick! No, she had to just get out of there before he woke up!

She let the lamp drop to the floor and once she focused her mind, she began to grab her discarded clothes from the floor, leaving her torn panties. Finding her jeans, she shakily put them on, semen and some blood running down her thighs and a myriad of bruises covering her body in places where he'd grabbed and squeezed that she quickly covered with her shirt

She had just slipped her shoes on when she went running for the bathroom, barely missing the floor as she threw up. How did she get here? Her day started off so perfect but by the end, everything had come out, Nick was heartbroken and telling her goodbye, and now she was in the bathroom of this fucking hotel, vomiting after just being viciously raped. What the hell was happening to her life? After a moment she forced herself up, in such pain that every movement felt like torture but she tried to hurry. It was on her way out that she saw it, sitting right there on the sink; his toothbrush. Without a second thought, she removed the head of it and wrapped it in fresh toilet paper. She wouldn't have to tell him where or what time to be at the doctors for the test on Monday. As far as she was concerned she hoped that she never saw him again as she hauled ass out of there!

* * *

Seventh time since he'd gotten here. This was the seventh time that he reached for the phone to call her but each time, he fought himself. Reminded himself of why she didn't deserve to have him call and he'd hang up mid number.

 _How did we get here?_ He wondered. As mad as he was, he loved his wife and couldn't understand what had gone so horribly wrong in their marriage that she would lay with his brother? Was he not there enough? Did he not give her enough attention? Was the sex lacking? Early that morning, he had been so happy. He was heading home, his wife and daughter would be in his arms. He'd make love to Olivia, but never in a million years did he count on all of this happening, count on not knowing if his babies that he already loved more than anything were his, and he certainly never counted on Manny being a factor in all of it.

He stopped in the living room and slowly took a look around. It would be finished in a couple months, he'd had it all planned. He was working his off hours to get it done. A lot of lying to Olivia about working overtime these last few months but it would be so worth it to see the surprise on her face when he'd show her. They'd have their own home! Sure, they owned the apartment where they now lived but…

" _I don't know man, there's something about it. Plus look at the price, it's practically nothing!" He told Fin as they looked at it._

" _That's because it is nothing, man it's destroyed!" Fin laughed. "Whoever burnt this place to avoid foreclosure was on point. There's nothing left!"_

" _Nah, you're wrong. I'm seeing this place when it's finished, it's gonna be incredible!"_

Now here it was, six months later. He'd gutted the house and started from scratch; making everything practically brand new from top to bottom; the basement, the bedrooms and bathrooms, all of the downstairs rooms. It was a labor of love but he'd put every brick, every piece of wood and plaster in with a bit of himself. This was going to be home and he wanted love to fill it. And when he found out that Olivia was pregnant, that only made him work harder; and more so when they got the news of twins. Only now, when it was done it wouldn't feel like home with just him and Zara. God he hated Olivia right now!

But if he'd known just how far things had all gone with Manny, he never would have left her in that hotel suite.

* * *

After a long shower, one that couldn't take away the absolute pain that radiated from between her legs; her whole body really but he'd really hurt her down below. At times she wanted to pass out; a few times she thinks she did and each time she came to, he was still using her. Never once letting up, or going easy. She had a " _lesson to to learn"_ and he was going to make sure that she learned it!

She laid down on the couch and she wished to god that she had Nick and Zara here. None of this ever could have happened if she hadn't had to see what was on the other side. God she felt so stupid! She lay there, desperately wanting to call Nick but what would she say? _Your brother raped me after you left-_

She didn't want to admit it but she was alone. She'd always thought that she understood what that word meant; after all, she'd been alone for most of her life. But right now, sitting in her apartment where her husband and daughter should be, with pain all over her body from what Manny did to her, from what she couldn't tell anyone, the word took on a whole new meaning that she never knew it could.

" _You love me linda, I know you do!" He grunted, sweat dripping off his face and falling onto her back while he used her._

"" _Manny- oh god stop, STOP!" She cried._

" _Take it baby It's all for you!"_

She forced herself out of the memory, wanting to die right now, just stop existing but then what? She thought as she lay there. With the pillow beneath her wet hair, she turned her face to it and for a full minute she screamed into it. She screamed at the top of her lungs, with all the hurt she had caused and received, all the shame, all the anguish. She just screamed. And when she was done, she made a promise to herself that she had to put what happened with Manny tonight out of her head. He wasn't worth the pain and she had bigger things to focus on right now. Her family was in shambles because of her and she had to fix it somehow. But right now she was just so exhausted. She missed Zara and Nick and she wondered if he'd keep her from seeing her daughter as she closed her eyes and let the sleep that had been pulling her take her under.

* * *

The next morning...

As Manny stirred in his sleep, smiling, he reached over to the other side of the bed expecting for his hand to come in contact with Olivia but when it instead met cold sheets, his eyes shot open to see an empty bed and he sat up to a headache.

"Olivia…" He called. When he got no answer, he got up from the bed and almost tripped over the lamp that was on the floor, it's base cracked. He looked at it for a few seconds before he bent down to pick it up and suddenly his head was killing him. Reaching near the nape of his neck and attempting to massage away the Pain, he discovered that he had a good sized bump on the back of his head. "Son of a bitch!" He said before he started towards the bathroom holding his head. "Olivia, Linda. ¿Dónde estás?"

He didn't see her when he got to the bathroom, looking in the mirror trying to see his head but being shocked at the bruising and swelling to his face from Nick's attack. He immediately walked through the bedroom and to the living room to nothing! To say that he was angry was an understatement as he remembered last night. She'd hit him with that damned lamp all so she could run back to Nick!

He didn't get it. Nick didn't want her. He'd told her to her face that it was over between them so why was she still hanging on to him? He thought that he'd taught her last night, made it clear who she should be loving, who she should be grateful to but he was wrong and this was the thanks he got. He punched the door beside him and put a hole through it before he went to the bedroom to get his coke from the nightstand, taking a hit, then another.

"Fucking women!"

* * *

All she wanted was to spend the day with Zara if Nick would would let her and she prayed that he would. She missed her so terribly and desperately wanted to see her. She got up from the counter, headed to her bedroom get dressed, but when she was on her way to her room the doorbell sounded and it made her freeze. If it were Nick, he had a key, and anyone on the squad would call first.

"Casey…"She called as she walked slowly to the door. Her bare feet quietly treading the wood of the floor and she suddenly became aware that she wasn't wearing anything more than a tank top and capris. And when there came three urgent knocks on the door, she jumped, scared nearly out of her mind.

"Olivia, I just wanna talk." She heard Manny say from where he stood on the other side of the door.

"That's not a good idea." She said, holding her stomach and taking a low, deep breath. "You shouldn't be here."

"Olivia… Look, I'm not leaving so you might as well-"

"...and I'm not opening the door."

"I just wanna talk." He said, getting madder by the second. But when he didn't hear back he lost it although he tried to appear calm but he wasn't fooling her. "Olivia...come on, open the door."

"We don't have anything more to say to one another, Manny and I'm telling you now, get the fuck away from my door!"

"Come on Linda." He said and waited for an answer but there wasn't one and he stood there quietly steaming. How dare she? _How fucking dare she? All the time I put into this relationship, all the hard work and she just… There's always a problem with some bitch. ALWAYS!_ He thought as he pulled his hair before sliding his hand down his face then fixing his clothes which weren't even out of place. "You know what Olivia? Fine! Okay? I can see we need some time so...just- just call me." He said and left, going down the stairs. But Olivia had already walked away to her bedroom.

* * *

"Olivia!" Caesarea exclaimed with a hug. So happy to see her daughter in law.

"I'm sorry I didn't call first..." Olivia apologized as she came in. "I just really-"

"Mommy!" Zara came running and jumped into her arms.

"Baby!" She cried, hugging Zara tight and kissing her. It had been a hard night and she woke up early this morning feeling like Zara was the only thing that made sense anymore. She felt like she hadn't seen her in months even though it was just yesterday morning and she wondered if Nick would keep Zara from her.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm happy to see you." But Caesarea was worried. She'd known when Nick came by yesterday that something was amiss but he'd shrugged it off. Now with Olivia in her living room crying, she was sure of it and quickly moved to get rid of Zara.

"Sweetie, why don't you go and finish picking up your room."

Zara looked at Olivia, then her grandmother very quickly. "Okay abuelita. Mommy, will you be here?"

"Promise."

"Okay, I love you!" She said and hugged her.

"I love you too peanut! Now go, I'll be right here." She said, smiling before she put Zara down and she kissed her stomach twice.

"Hi babies!" She said then ran off to the bedroom. Caesarea made sure she was well out of earshot before she turned to Olivia.

"Come, let's sit." She said, leading Olivia to the couch and wondering to herself why she was wearing a turtleneck under her jacket since Indian summer was well under way and it was already 78 degrees at one in the afternoon. "Where's Nicolas?" She didn't mean to be so blunt but her mind immediately went to him, worrying, praying that he didn't do what she thought he did and hit Olivia. She couldn't take it if either of her boys ever became their father. If only she knew that right now she was worried about the wrong son.

"He's not here?"

"No. I haven't seen him since he dropped Zara off yesterday. Olivia, what's going on?"

Should she get into the whole ordeal with her? She'd probably find out anyway but should _she_ be the one to tell her? She decided that she shouldn't and instead… "It's nothing..."

"He didn't…"

"No. He would never." She quickly defended, but she remembered last night, remembered the look in his eyes as he grabbed her by the neck and raised his hand. For a second, when she told him it was Manny, she was sure that he would hit her even though in her heart she knew that he'd never. Not her or any woman for that matter. But she drove him to that point where he wanted to and she wanted to cry just thinking about it but held her tears.

"¡Gracias a Dios!" She said, crossing herself and squeezing Olivia's hand. "So the turtleneck?" But before she could answer, Zara came back in.

"I'm finished. Mommy, can I go with you?" She said climbing on Olivia's lap and before Olivia could answer…

"Zara honey, why don't you stay here and we'll go and see a movie. Would you like that?"

"I wanna go with mommy." She said, lying against Olivia. "Can I mommy?" She said looking up at her. Olivia in turn looked at Caesarea, unsure of what to do but then she looked at Zara and she realized, she's just as much her baby as she is Nick's. She loves this little girl, has for the past 2 years and no matter what she and her father were going through, she would continue to love her and be her mother. That would never change and she wouldn't let it influence her decision to spend time with her baby girl.

"Of course you can. She said, removing her jacket, just as Nick walked in the front door and she and literally froze looking at him as he did her.

"Nicolás, ¿qué te pasó en el mundo?" Caesarea said as she got up and went to him.

"Nothing mami. I got into a scuffle, I'm fine." He said, moving his head away as she tried to look at it and touch his bruises. "Mami, will you stop? Please?" He asked.

"Daddy, I'm going out with mommy!" Zara said proudly as she played with Olivia's hair.

"Oh yeah?" He said as Olivia looked at Zara and then at him, begging him with her eyes to not cause a scene.

"Zara, how about we go to the kitchen for a cookie?" Caesarea said as she looked at Nick.

"Can I mommy?"

"Go ahead baby, I need to talk to daddy." She answered, Zara quickly taking her grandmother's hand and trotting off to the kitchen.

"So Zara's going with you?" Nick said.

"Nick please" She said to him as she got up. "I know that you and I are going through-"

"You cheated. Why can't you say it?"

"Look, I'm begging you, please don't keep Zara away from me. She's my baby and she's innocent to this."

"I wouldn't… I would never keep her from you." He said with tears in his eyes. "No matter what, you're her mom and she loves you." He wiped his eye when tears escaped. "I don't think we need to tell her any of this just yet; it's gonna take time."

Olivia nodded through her tears, agreeing wholeheartedly. Zara was only 5 years old. She was still in that stage of life where she saw everything with rainbows and ice cream. It was good to know that neither of them wanted to take that from her. "I just; how are we gonna do this? She can't stay here forever."

"I know that. She should be home with you-"

"She should be with us. Nick, please come home." She begged with tears streaming her face. "We can work this out, we can-"

"I can't do that, I can't… you screwed my brother; probably _in_ our home. But you wanna know what's worse? The worst thing is I don't even know if those are my babies you're carrying."

"They _are_ yours." She cried.

"And I want them to be." He said as he touched her stomach. "I want all of this to undo itself and take us back ten weeks." He said, flashes of her with Manny invading his mind and he shook it off.

"I'm sorry." She cried. "I don't know how many times or how many ways I can say it but I just want us back, I want us to be a family again. Just tell me what I need to do."

"It's not that simple Olivia!" He said with an angry voice. "You broke my heart! I trusted you and you broke my heart...how am I supposed to get past that?"

She tried to find an answer but couldn't. Not one that would do any good and she wiped away her tears. "Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment I'm having a paternity test done..."

"Will Manny be there? Because I swear Olivia, I will kill that son of bitch if I see him again, I swear to god!"

"No. He won't I promise." She said as she thought about last night and how he… For just a brief moment, she contemplated telling Nick what happened after he left but something in her wouldn't let her. "If you don't want to-"

"I'll be there. Just send me the time. I gotta go"

"You just got here. Can't you stay a little while?"

"No." He tried hard not to cry. "But you two have fun." He said before he left, leaving her standing there in tears that she quickly wiped away again when she heard Zara and Caesarea coming back from the kitchen.

"Where's daddy?"

"Uh, he had to go but he wanted me to tell you that he loves you and he'll see you later." She said, trying hard to keep her tears in tact. "So, you ready to go peanut?"

* * *

After a long fun filled day with Zara which she desperately needed. They headed home where she put Zara in her pajamas after a bath and put her down, lying with her until she fell asleep.

She had intended to get some sleep herself afterwards but the twins had other plans. They were hungry and though she didn't want to get up, and she certainly didn't want to eat, she had to which turned out to be a good thing because she was eating peanut butter (which she hated) with a spoon when she remembered that she forgot to text Nick what time he should be there for the test. She reached over to grab her phone and unlocked it to send him a message but she was stopped by her screensaver; she and Nick on their honeymoon this past July. They were on a beach, splashing in the water and God they looked so happy though even then it was a lie. She'd taken vows with Nick when she knew she'd been unfaithful with his brother and who would have known that she was two weeks pregnant with these little people?

She put her hand to her stomach. "I'm going to fix this." She promised. "I don't know how but I will!" She said as she heard the door sound. It was a key being put into one of the locks and for a minute, she froze as the rest of the locks turned and she had to fight herself to keep from running to the door. And when she heard it open and his footsteps come down the small hall…

"I thought you'd be asleep." Nick apologized.

"I would have been but the babies wanted peanut butter." She was so thankful for the sweater she wore and that she hadn't gotten undressed yet.

"Peanut butter? You hate that stuff."

"But you love it." She said and they just stood there, him standing against the wall and the two of them looking at one another awkwardly for a moment. "...anyway, I guess my cravings are kicking in early… What are you doing here?"

"I just; I came to get some things."

"Clothes." She said so quietly upon realizing, she didn't think he could hear but of course he did.

"I…"

"No, it's okay. Can we talk? I know you probably have things to do and if you do I'll understand I just, I wanna tell you everything; put everything down…" She said as tears dropped and she wiped them away. "I'm sorry."

"Olivia, we don't have to do this right now."

"But I want to- I feel like I owe you that much."

"I can't; I can't hear it right now. I just… Do you know how hard it is? Twenty seven hours ago I had the love of my life tell me not only did she sleep with another man, but that man was my brother. And on top of that, my babies might not be mine." He said, tears in his voice. "I'm just not open to receiving any more news right now."

"I'm sorry...and I know you're tired of hearing it but I am; I am so sorry! I never meant to hurt you, that's the last thing I ever wanted. I just- I don't know why I did this…"

"Olivia, don't."

 _Olivia_. There it was again. _Olivia._ He didn't call her Liv or Baby or Mami- he called her _Olivia._ He called her that this afternoon. That's who she was now to him; just Olivia. She never thought that hearing her own name could make her so sad.

"I'm gonna go and sleep in Zara's room. Lock up when you leave. The test is at nine by the way." She said and quickly disappeared to the back of the apartment in tears.

...

She got to Zara's room and shut the door, then curled up beside her in bed and cried silently. Before Manny, all she'd wanted was to be happy with Nick and Zara. To be part of a family and maybe one day be able to give him a child. For so long that's all she wanted. She wasn't greedy either, just one if that's all she could ever have and it didn't matter, boy or girl, though in her dreams, when she imagined their future she always saw herself giving Nick a son. But now she had been blessed with two and she didn't know if in fact they _were_ her husband's. And it's because she got greedy. She saw something shiny and new and she had to have it; damn the cost.

Now Nick is heartbroken. He won't talk to her, can barely look at her and she's become Olivia to him. _Olivia!_ Like when they first met. She was Olivia for the longest time- three whole months and then some before one night he'd called her _Liv_. The squad had gone out for drinks after a particularly tough case and one thing led to another, with him taking her home; she's been Liv to him since that night almost 3 years ago. Of course that would change whenever he got mad and his temper would come into play, but it's always been a passing thing. Now… She looked at Zara sleeping so peacefully and she wondered when Nick would want to tell her that they were- she couldn't even think it.

She and Nick, they had a whole life to live, children to raise and even though he wanted nothing to do with her right now, she loved him. And she knew he loved her. He was just so hurt right now, but it wouldn't last forever. "I promised these babies and I promise you, nothing is breaking up this family!" She whispered to Zara.

...

He got to their bedroom intending to get clothes but so far, he just sat there, on the bed. Their bed. He'd made love to her so many times in this bed. They'd laughed, cried, talked about their future in this bed. They'd made promises to one another, told secrets, had breakfast and late nights, and spent time with Zara as a family. He slept with her wrapped in his arms, all in this bed. And now, everything was in shambles and he sat there, on that bed with his head in his hands.

There was a part of him, a big part that wanted to say _to hell with it,_ and go take his wife in his arms and make love to her until she couldn't walk! Still, she wouldn't ask him to stop. She take him for hours until he was satisfied; not that he ever left her wanting. But he quickly silenced that voice. This wasn't something that he could just forgive. She lied, she cheated and all in all made him look like a fool. "My own brother!" He still couldn't believe It and was so curious but he couldn't bear to know. _How did it happen? Where did it-_ god, was it in this bed?! He thought as he jumped up and just stared at it, quickly deciding that he was right; for now he was better off not knowing.

He went to the closet to start packing when he saw a familiar box and reached up on the shelf to get it. Carefully opening it, he saw the tiny onesies in red that he'd bought two weeks ago when they found out they were having twins. _Thing 1_ and _Thing 2_ they said and Nick immediately burst into tears. He couldn't believe that he was going through this again. The only difference being that he expected it of Maria. He knew when she first told him she was pregnant, that Zara probably wasn't his, but in the event that she was, he wanted to do right by her. But Olivia, here he thought he'd found a good woman who wouldn't put him through this and not only does she put him through it, but the father of his babies… He wouldn't allow himself to-

"They have to be mine." He cried. "They have to be!"

* * *

The next day was a dreaded one for Liv and Nick. Olivia started her morning off like she did most of them. Threw up, made Zara breakfast and took her to school. Only this time she had a doctor's appointment and then they'd be having blood drawn for that test. To say she was nervous was an understatement and she vomited twice when she got there from her nerves being shot to hell as the doctor called her in.

"How are we today?" The doctor asked, seeing that she looked tired and she was right. Olivia hardly got any sleep last night. After Nick had finally left, she got up from Zara's bed and went into the living room where she sat there in the dark and cried.

"Exhausted but I'll be better once I get the test done."

"Stop worrying. I see that Nick isn't here yet so did you want to get started on the sonogram or…?"

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about...I um, I think I need a pelvic exam." She said as she looked anywhere except at the doctor and fumbled with her necklace.

"Why do you think you need another so soon?"

"Because I was raped Saturday."

* * *

Nick arrived right after the examination but just in time to see the sonogram and the babies doing surprisingly well, growing so beautifully in their little home and Nick couldn't stop thinking. When it was time for the test, Olivia was so scared that she made them stop several times before they could draw her blood. She'd made such a mess of everything and she prayed to god to please let this test come back to say that Nick was the father of these babies; she'd prayed it all night and really prayed it now.

"Okay. We have samples from both potential fathers. All that we have to do now is wait."

"Five to seven days." Olivia said wistfully as she looked at Nick.

"We'll call as soon as we have the results." The doctor said. I'm gonna leave you two so you can get dressed. Any problems, you call me."

"I will Janice. Thank you."

When the doctor let the room, it was Nick who spoke first."I was up all night thinking."

"You weren't the only one…"

"It's just; when I saw those babies just now on the screen… if this test comes back and says that I'm not the father…"

"Nick..."

"If the test says I'm not the father, we're gonna need to start thinking of a way to tell Zara-"

"To tell her what? I don't..."

"That we're splitting up; I can try to work through this but I can't…" He wiped his eyes. "I won't raise Manny's babies, and it wouldn't be fair of you to ask me to!" He said as she sat there feeling sick to her stomach and trying not to cry.

* * *

 **TBC… Please review and thanks.**


	28. And Now The Hard Part

**Chapter 28**

* * *

"Nick knows."

"Knows? About you and Manny? How?"

"It's a long story but I told him the truth."

"Maybe it's for the best. Now you don't have any secrets and you can try to rebuild."

"That's what I've been telling myself; well trying to at least. Casey he's so angry, I don't know what to do!"

"You're going to give it time."

"He agreed that we shouldn't tell Zara anything just yet but that didn't stop him from walking out; I don't even know where he's staying."

"Liv, I'm sure that right now it's just a shock to his system but once he comes around-"

"He said today that if these babies aren't his he won't even try! I've been telling myself for six weeks that they are by what if I'm wrong? Am I supposed to depend on his asshole of a brother? I'd be better off as a single mom!"

"To three kids? Liv, you gotta slow down okay? You are not going to lose Nick, even if these babies aren't his. He loves you, and more than that, he's a good man. He's gonna be there for you. But more importantly, he's gonna forgive you."

"You didn't see him Casey; you didn't hear him. I hurt him more than I even knew I did. He's devastated."

"Oh honey." She said and put her arm around Olivia. God I can't believe this is you!"

"It's the pregnancy." Olivia defended, trying to downplay her needy behavior. Casey was right. She'd never been like this before. It's like having Nick, loving him, being a part of him and his family changed her. Now, just the thought of being without him, without Zara reduced her to a mess and she didn't like it. Where was strong, independent Olivia Benson? Although she guessed that she'd be coming back sooner than she hoped. She had to. If Nick was adamant about walking away she had to prepare herself, prepare her heart.

"It's the love; and there's nothing wrong with that. But I still don't get it, Liv. What does any of this have to do with why you asked me to stay away from Manny?"

"Casey, he raped me. And this time, it wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me."

* * *

Getting back to work, all that morning and throughout the day, she felt jumpy. Not only because she had finally taken the paternity test, or because she still had a week before she would find out the results. No, there was something else and she didn't know what. But that was before Manny came walking into the squad room around three and suddenly, she knew exactly what.

"Liv, isn't that Nick's kid brother?" Munch asked and Olivia turned around, shocked. "He looks like somebody used his face as a punching bag!"

"I'm gonna talk to him outside." Olivia said as she hurried over to him before he could reach her. "What the hell are you doing?" She asked him trying to keep her voice down but she was upset as she walked out into the hall with him following.

"You never called me!"

"Never called-" She looked around and saw the two officers that were standing at either end of the hallway and ducked into a side room with him. "I'm never _going_ to call because I'm done!" She said, still in a hushed tone.

"Done? After last night?" Speechless for a minute, she looked at him like he had two heads. _Was he serious?_ She asked herself in her disbelief, but decided that it was better to leave it. Nothing else could be said.

"You know what? Don't come here agai-"

"I just wanted to know what time should I be there for the test? You still haven't told me where; 'I scramble your brain that day?" He laughed.

It wasn't even a full week ago the last time she cheated on Nick. She went to that hotel room and very willingly gave herself to Manny and she enjoyed every second of it until it ended. It's funny, she recalled quite recently when a statement like the one he just made would have had her panties wet. But that was before he forced her into sex. Fast forward to this past Saturday night… "It's been taken care of."

"What do you mean it's been taken care of? You can't have a test without me! Nick is my brother, which means, you have to get samples from us both, so tell me again how it's been _taken care of._ "

"I'm not talking about this! I told you yesterday that we don't have anything more to say to one another, you shouldn't even be-"

He was pretty high that day, so it took him a while but suddenly, it came to him. "You took my toothbrush head, didn't you?!" But she just stood there, glowering at him. "answer me!"

She was mad as hell but she spoke calmly. Refusing to let him see how angry he made her. "I didn't want you there, just like I don't want you here now."

"Is that what this is? You're shutting me out? Did Nick tell you to do this?"

"First of all, nobody _tells_ me to do anything!"

"He forgive you, is that it? Did you fuck him?!"

"Okay; we're done." She said, starting to walk away until he grabbed her arm."

"Don't walk away from me." He threatened, raising his voice and giving her memories. _"Don't walk away from me...I said dont walk away from me!" He screamed and pushed the door shut as he grabbed her arm again._ She looked down at his hand and spoke up.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." There were two uniformed cops at either end of the hall, right outside this door and one of them poked his head in the room.

"Everything alright in here, Benson?" Officer James asked, his hand on his gun as he looked suspiciously at Manny.

"It's fine…" Olivia said, signaling that all was well. Officer James looked at Manny again before he closed the door, deciding that he believed Olivia.

"What? He gonna arrest me? Shoot me?"

"You'd better be real thankful that I didn't tell these guys, and especially Nick what you did to me."

"What I did to you? What about what you did to me? I gave you my heart and you just treat it like it was nothing. The minute Nick found out about you and I…"

"Don't"

"You can try to demonize this if you want but I did what I did for us!"

"For us? I see, so when you tore and bruised me, you did it for us? You didn't leave marks, you left bruises! What happened between us on Saturday wasn't sex or love, it was rape! You brutalized and raped me and you would have done it over and over if I hadn't hit you with that lamp and gotten the hell out of there!"

"I gave you what you needed, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

" _Olivia, who did this to you?"_

" _It's not important."_

" _It is important. You could have lost these babies."_

"Look, I don't wanna fight, okay? Please, Linda, I love you!" He said, reaching for her hand.

"Yeah? Well I don't love you; I never did!" In that moment, he felt like he had been kicked, had his heart stomped on, only he couldn't show it. Not with cops standing 20 feet from them in either direction. He couldn't make her understand what she was doing to him; to _them._ She was about to open the door when she felt him again. This time he leaned down to her ear and said in a low, almost sinister tone.

"Don't pull any shit with that test. If those are my babies, I'll find out." He buried his nose in her hair, next to her ear and sniffed before he straightened up. For a moment, she froze before she looked back at him and walked out. So scared that she fought with herself not to cry as she walked back toward the squad room with her inner voice screaming at her...

 _What are you doing? Arrest him! You're the cop! You should throw his ass in jail, let a jury sort it out!_

But she just kept walking. Leaving Manny to walk out of the file room with a grin on his face as she bypassed everyone, then went into the locker room to compose herself.

* * *

So many questions Nick wanted to ask her this morning but they wouldn't come out and he didn't know if it was him wanting to spare her from the embarrassment of reliving the details. Or, if maybe he still couldn't handle knowing the truth. He did know one thing: seeing the babies today; it messed him up in a way that he wasn't prepared for. He looked at that screen and so many emotions ran through him. Then he started to resent Olivia. _How could she put us here? Put these babies here?_ They deserved better than to be coming into existence with the adults around them in so much turmoil. That brought him right back to the questions he needed answers to but couldn't ask.

Like when exactly did she first fuck his brother and how did it come about? Sure she said it had been two and a half months ago but things like that don't just happen. Or did they? He was tired of wondering but wasn't sure that he could stand knowing just yet.

* * *

Olivia got home that night to find Zara already sleeping and after she said goodnight to the nanny. She just stood there against the door, a feeling of hopelessness on her shoulders.

Ever since Manny left, she wondered what, if anything James and Foster may have overheard. She knew that James was ready to take Manny out when he thought there was a problem but she prayed that he or Foster didn't pick up on their conversation.

"What conversation? Nothing you said got through to him." And it was true. He heard what he wanted to; what catered to his sense of right and wrong, which basically boiled down to _I want it this way so this is how it goes!_ And she wondered how he hid that side of himself for so long, or did she just not see it? Then thinking about the last two and a half months, it was easy to see where she went wrong. All of this comes down on Nick. He was left wondering what he did or didn't do to cause this and the truth was, she didn't have a reason for Manny. She loves Nick with her whole heart but she tried to find something, any reason. To say 'This is what you did wrong' then perhaps she could justify the affair but there was no fault with him. Whether making love or just making breakfast, he loved her with every ounce of him and she, she had to repay him by breaking his heart. He'd be right to walk away if these aren't his babies.

"Can we please put this away until tomorrow? I can't think about it anymore!" Scolding herself, she went to her room for a long shower and bed.

* * *

"What happened to your face?" The young blonde, Misty asked Manny as she slinked down to sit beside him in the club.

"Long story, one that I'm sure you'd be bored with." He told her while the redhead on the other side of him, poured more champagne and handed it to him. "Thank you baby." He said before he turned back to the blonde. "So, it's my last night in town for a while…who wants to give me a going away present?" He hated that he got called back to Miami so soon! He'd only been here three weeks and as far as he was concerned, he didn't have nearly enough time to get things where he needed them. But it was all good. He'd get some work done in Miami, be back to New York in a week and everything would fall into place.

Life should always be this good.

* * *

 **8 days later...**

"...do you _have_ to go to work?" Zara whined as Nick prepared to leave that evening.

"I'm sorry mi amor." Nick said with a kiss her head as he held her close to him. He hated lying to his little girl, but under the circumstances he didn't think she'd understand the truth of the situation. He had a week off from work, a week that he was gonna spend as much time as possible with her. He'd already agreed with Olivia that he'd pick her up from school every day this week and spend the hours in between with her. By their time was slowly winding down as Olivia was to be home in a half hour. "Hey, didn't you have fun at the zoo? You have a half day tomorrow, how about when I pick you up from school we drive up to the orchard and you can pick some apples?"

That sounded like heaven to Zara and she quickly cheered up. "Mommy too?"

"Honey, I don't think mommy will be home from work in time."

"But we always go to pick apples together." She said, now looking at him with sad eyes again and he couldn't help but give in to her.

"Okay, we'll find something else to do tomorrow and we'll go to the orchard with mommy another time."

"Daddy, when the babies come, do you think they'll like going to the orchard?"

"I think when they're old enough. But for now…" He said, kissing and hugging her so tightly. "I gotta go princess. I love you."

"I love you too daddy. Be safe okay?"

"I will baby."

* * *

 _"Nick please!" She begged. "Let's just go home and talk about this, please!" But he just laughed with tears in his eyes before he looked down at her._

 _"We don't have a home anymore; you made sure of that when you took him to bed! You wanted him so bad?" And he turned to his brother. "Enjoy her, you two deserve each other!" He spat, then walked out._

She wiped her tears as she resumed getting her things together from her drawer but then her mind quickly went to Manny and the rape...

 _"I put those babies inside you, pledged my love and commitment to you but you still want him?!" He said as he climbed on her back. "What does he have that I can't offer you? I can give you EVERYTHING!" He said angrily as he grabbed the waistband of her jeans. In that moment something finally clicked In her brain and she realized that he was going to rape her as he pulled them down her legs and destroyed her panties as he tore them away. "You are gonna learn to love me Olivia. And you will, I promise. Even if I have to fuck you into submission!" He said before he plunged inside her and began fucking her brutally amidst her tears as he covered her mouth. She cried beneath his hand when he entered her as she was dry and the pain was incredible and she lay there gripping the sheets, unable to believe that this was happening to her…_

She said that she was fine and she wouldn't it get to her, but it's been on her mind every day since- especially with the results coming back any day now. What if it turned out that Manny was the father? That's been what's kept her up at night. One day having to explain to her children that their father was an affair who raped her.

She just needed these results to come back so she could put her mind at ease but then again would it really ever be? She'd let a rapist go, scot-free. And for what, to avoid embarrassment? Every day since it happened, she's been running it over and over again in her head, maybe if she would have left faster or just not shown up at all. Maybe she could have snapped out of her shock sooner? Fought him off? Or maybe if she'd never allowed him to put her face-down? In her mind there were so many things she could have done differently but didn't. Even Casey thought she should've had him arrested and begged her to still do it.

" _...you can't let him get away with this!"_

" _So I just admit to the world that I cheated on my husband? Give him even more embarrassment to deal with than he already has?"_

" _You can't make this about Nick who, by the way will be there for you-"_

" _Casey I froze! He came at me and I froze! I couldn't fight him or scream… I just lay there and let him rape me. I'd look like a fool!"_

" _Liv-"_

" _...and I already accused him once before; I have to let it go…"_

"Heading home?" Amanda asked, causing Olivia to come out of her thoughts.

"At last." She said as she turned off her computer. "I'm surprised that you're still here, you were on since yesterday."

"You know how it is when you're single; nothing to fill the time so you work. Hey, you need a ride home?"

"No, but thanks. I brought…" She began saying when the phone rang. She signaled Amanda to hold on. "Special Victims Unit, Benson speaking… Wait, slow down… Where? No no, you did the right thing, just keep her as calm as possible, we'll be right there!" She said and hung up, then turned to Amanda. "We gotta go."

"That didn't sound good."

"Is it ever?"

...

"No, it's okay… yes, I got her… Alright." Nick said before he hung up his phone and turned to Zara who was watching TV. "So, princess. Looks like we won't be taking you to Mrs. Longworth tonight. Mommy's gonna be late so I'm gonna stay with you."

"What about work?"

"I think my boss will understand."

"You're the best daddy!" The five year old said as she climbed on his lap and gave him a big hug. "Can we play Chess?"

"Chess? Where'd that come from?"

"Mommy's been teaching me since last month...I haven't won yet, but I'm getting better; can we play?"

"Sure baby. Why don't you go get your pajamas on and I'll set up."

"Okay." She said before she ran off to her room. Meanwhile, Nick shook his head, never failing to be surprised by Olivia. "Chess...go figure." He laughed.

* * *

6:30 ran into 11 o'clock before she'd finally gotten home to find Nick asleep on the couch. Purely out of habit, she was on her way to kiss him awake when she stopped herself mere feet from him.

 _Old life, Olivia…_ She told herself. She had a lot to get used to that she didn't want. Most of all, not being able to kiss her husband, even after not having seen him for eight days. Their schedules went like clockwork this past week, so in between her dropping Zara off to school and Nick, picking her up, then leaving before she got home, they never had to see each other. She looked down at him sleeping before she grabbed the cashmere throw and covered him, then excused herself to go check on Zara.

...

A quick shower later and the babies once again steered her towards the kitchen for food. She was so thankful when she found cold Chinese as it was exactly what she'd wanted. She was standing at the counter, eating it out of the box when she heard Nick rustling from across the room, he got up and went to the small bathroom just off the kitchen. Obviously not seeing Olivia who stood there continuing to eat her chicken & broccoli and watching.

He came out a minute later, rubbing lotion on his hands and turned into the kitchen when he saw her.

"Olivia" Damn! Why did seeing her just completely knock him on his ass? He knew it had only been a little over a week but she looked absolutely beautiful, standing there in that blue silk nightgown with her hair flowing down over her shoulder. "I didn't see you there; how've you; I mean are you…"

"I'm okay." She wanted to say a whole lot more, just as he did, but both of them found themselves at a loss for words. "Thanks for staying with Zara…" She said as she picked about the food. "...And for dinner."

"It's nice to see you eating something other than ice cream." He smiled vaguely and she got emotional, her eyes filling with tears that quickly fell.

"I'm sorry. I didn't count on this, on seeing; When I came in that door and saw you sleeping, for a minute I forgot that I cheated and that you hate me and I just ran to kiss you." She cried but Nick just stood there, unsure of what to say. The last thing he wanted was to appear unfeeling, he loved her so much that it physically pained him to know that this was where they were. But this _was_ where they were and he couldn't change it.

"Olivia…"

"I broke us."

"It wasn't all you."

"Don't... This is my fault. We had a life; an incredible one and I ruined it…" Wiping her tears, she left the kitchen and walked over to the living room and sat down.

"Listen to me." He said, meeting her on the couch. "I said some things about these babies out of anger and I didn't mean them."

"No, you were right. I can't, I can't ask you to raise his kids, Nick it would be-"

"You're not asking. The truth is, if Manny's the father, he won't be there for them, and I don't wanna see these babies being used as a means to an end. These babies are gonna need a father and whatever that test says, even if they aren't mine, they're gonna have one, I'll still be here. I promise. We'll make it work."

"What about us? Can we work?"

"Olivia…"

"I'm sorry, that was stupid."

"You know, every day since Saturday, I wake up to this nightmare of you and him only to see that it's real, and it takes everything in me to not kill this man… my own brother!" He felt his tears coming and quickly got up to try and walk them off. He ended up facing the living room window and just stared out. Olivia wanted so desperately to say something but she was left dumb for a moment; sitting there in tears, regretting all that happened over the last two and a half months. She did this. And now Nick was here brokenhearted while Manny wasn't interested in making this right; it all fell on her and in her mind she deserved it! "and I'm not proud to say that for the first time in my life, I understand those urges a man has to wanna…"

She thought back to that Saturday night before he went after Manny. _In an instant, he'd grabbed her up by her neck, something he'd never done before to any woman, and choking her with absolute rage! He pulled his hand back to hit her but just as his hand was an inch from her face he stopped and he looked at her. She was terrified and had absolute fear in her eyes. He looked at her, standing there against the wall with her arms wrapped protectively around her stomach, shaking and he snatched his keys from the kitchen counter and turned to leave._

"...that's not the man you are."

"But it's the man I wanted to be. In that moment, I wanted to grab you up and slap you; hard. Hit you until my hurt was gone but I couldn't do it. I saw my mother cowering away from my father, only this time, it was me." He wiped away the tears that slid down his face when he turned around to face her. "I'm sorry." He said in a low voice that was full of regret.

"It's okay."

"I was out of control that night; if I had hit you, I don't know that I could have stopped. That's how angry I was." His tears wear steadily falling. "It's why I walked out. I don't ever wanna hurt you- I couldn't…"

"If I could somehow make this right-"

"I'm gonna go and say goodnight to Zara before I go." He said wiping his tears away. "You got a certified letter, it's on the desk."

"Certified, from who?" She said as she got up and went to the desk to retrieve to letter.

"I don't know, I just signed for it." And he disappeared to the back of the apartment as she tore open the brown cardboard envelope to reveal a letter sized one, but when she turned it over to see who it was from, her heart stopped beating for a moment.

"Nick." She screamed in tears and when he didn't come fast enough, she screamed again. "Nick-" He suddenly came running.

"You almost woke Zara, good thing I shut the doo-"

"The test results!" She cried, holding the envelope and scared to death.

* * *

 **TBC… Please be kind and leave a review.**


	29. The Hard Part, Continued

**Chapter 29 (continued)**

* * *

.

"I can't." Her hands were shaking terribly in spite of the fact that she'd tried desperately over the last five minutes to stop them from doing just that. Her future was in front of her, their future. And if those papers said the wrong thing… "Those results are right in front of me and I can't open them. I can't move, I can't- our future is in that envelope...Two and a half years together and it all comes down to test results!"

"Olivia-"

"Will you please stop calling me that?!" She was finally snapping under the pressure she'd been under and she just wanted some normalcy. "Every time I've seen you, or talked to you these last ten days, it's been Olivia, and every time I hear it, I'm reminded of exactly where we we are and I'm sorry! I'm sorry...And it doesn't make it better, it doesn't fix things but I'm sorry! And every time that you call me Olivia it let's me know that you don't forgive me and you probably never will no matter what those results say!

"It's not so simple."

"I know...I know. But we have to work through this. I know I screwed up but I don't wanna lose you. Don't you know that you are the single greatest thing that's ever happened to me?"

"And you showed me that by laying with my brother!"

She paused for a moment just to let that sink in, before she wiped the tears that were on her face. "Yes, I cheated and I lied to you! I said it, I cheated. And for two and a half months I lied to you, but I swear it's over! You are the only man that I want and the only one that I need and I will do anything to prove it to you!"

"Did you fuck him in our bed?"

"How could you ask me that?"

"Did you?"

"I would never do that."

"Until a week ago, I thought there were a lot of things you wouldn't do" As soon as it left his lips, he knew he shouldn't have said it. Just the look on her face alone, though she tried to hide it, told him. "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry!"

"You did. But I guess I deserve it." She said, pushing her hurt down.

"Liv…" He tried to explain but couldn't find the words, and instead, he just pulled her into his arms as they sat there on the sofa. She curling her feet underneath her and putting her head down on his chest.

 _God, this felt so right!_ They both thought, and she just rested there. Tears slipping from both their eyes. "Just tell me that there's a chance that we can come back from this; that we can put it behind us?"

"I don't know. I want to but-"

"It's not that simple; I know." She said as she lay against him, breathing in his scent while he stroked her hair. They just stayed that way for a moment. Her listening to the sound of his heart beating. "I'm so scared to know what's in that envelope." She whispered.

"Whatever it is, we'll handle it." But being so close to him, resting on his strong chest. She couldn't help but run her hand over it. Feeling the outline, the hard planes, and remembering lying there after all the times they made love.

"Liv…" She'd begun planting small kisses to his chest from the v on his shirt and now buried her face in his neck. "Olivia…"

"Please." She whispered with a kiss to his neck. "I need you...I need this!"

"Olivia…"

"Just for tonight… You can hate me tomorrow, but I need you tonight! I can't look at those results Nick, I can't-" She brought her lips against His and slowly kissed him. Drawing him into her mouth several times, and pretty soon, he took over, kissing her hard, deep and full of all the pain he felt as he cried. Bunching her nightgown in his fist as his other hand pulled one of the shoulders down. He soon had his hands in her hair, bunching it tightly while he kissed her and then pulling it back hard to expose her neck to him and he dove in. Kissing, biting, sucking. "Nick…oh..." She breathed as she closed her eyes.

He knew he should get up and walk out that door but dammit!He sucked her nipples hard into his mouth, causing pain as her breasts were still in that stage where they were tender, but she didn't care. He felt so good as she held his head, encouraging him to suck harder. After a moment, he popped his mouth off and pulled back. Looking at her with so much love but so much misplaced trust. He wanted her so bad that he could already feel her but where would they be tomorrow? And the test, he told her they would handle it, no matter what, and he meant it but what if it wasn't that simple? He ran his thumb across her lips, her beautiful lips and he searched her big brown eyes.

"Please baby." She whispered and he knew right there that he was weak for this woman and tomorrow, they'd have even more to sort out. But tonight, he was giving into his heart, and to his macho need to conquer and it was with this that he stood, picking her up and with her legs around his waist and them kissing like the world would end, he took her to their bedroom where he lay her down and made love to her with such passion and intensity, it left them both in tears.

* * *

The next morning when he woke up with her in his arms, he was so happy, even though at the same time, he knew they'd made a mistake. They still had so much to work through and he knew he shouldn't have made love to her. But last night they both needed something that only the other could give.

He smoothed his hand over her bare arm that lay across him before he gently untangled himself, getting up and going into the bathroom for a quick shower.

...

Some time later, he was sitting on the couch, absently drinking a cup of coffee while he stared at the envelope that lay on the table in front of him when Zara came out of her room, holding her unicorn and yawning.

"Hey, sleepyhead!" He smiled and Zara immediately woke up.

"Daddy!" She shouted, excited as she ran to him. She jumped on his lap and hugged him tight and he realized that he hadn't been around for mornings in a while.

"You're a big girl, I was just about to come wake you!"

"I'm hungry."

"Yeah?" He said as she nodded. "Well, we can't have that can we? Come on, let's see if we can't get some food into that tummy!" He said as he got up and walked to the kitchen, carrying her.

"Daddy, where's mommy?"

"Mommy's asleep, baby." He answered as he put her down in one the chairs at the counter.

"But she's never asleep when I have to go to school." She said, taking grapes from the fruit bowl in front of her and eating them.

"I know, but she was really tired last night so I thought I'd let her sleep. So, what'll it be, pancakes or cereal?"

"Cereal please." She smiled. "Mommy makes pancakes better."

* * *

Later that morning, olivia finally woke up to see that not only was it very late, almost nine o'clock, but she was alone in bed! She had started to get sad about it when she remembered that it was Wednesday and she had to get… "Zara...Shit!" She jumped out of bed and put on her robe, quickly regretting moving so fast to get up because it sent her running to the bathroom.

...

"Zee, baby..." She called as she went to Zara's room. When she saw the she wasn't there, she went out into the living room and stopped; smiling when she saw Nick in the kitchen.

"Don't worry, I got her breakfast, a shower and got her to school on time."

"It's almost nine, why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked so peaceful sleeping, I couldn't disturb you."

"Peaceful because you utterly exhausted me." She said, the memory of the night before still fresh in her mind. She turned to the fridge and got a bottle of ginger ale, taking a glass and pouring out half the bottle.

"Olivia…" Nick called to her, hoping to talk to her about last night and hopefully see if she's ready to open the test results. While he understood her reluctance to know, it was killing him.

"Do you want some breakfast?" She said after taking a long sip then sitting the glass down. "I could-"

"No, I'm not really hungry. Can we talk?"

"I know what you're gonna say- last night shouldn't have happened, and you're right. We're complicating things before we even have them worked out."

"I didn't wanna come off like like an ass-"

"You're not. The truth is, I shouldn't have kissed you, we...I shouldn't have.

"It's not-"

"It's okay." She said. "I know it's not easy to get past what I did and I don't want you to think that I don't know that. It's just you being here, being so close… But I know that we have things to work through and I'm sorry I distracted us from them. I just, I saw those results…"

"I know, and I'm scared too but we have to face it, whatever those results say, we just have to believe that we'll be alright. I know if it says that I'm not the father…"

"Don't say that." She whispered, wiping the tears that escaped her eyes.

"Liv, we gotta face it." He said, trying hard not to cry for her sake. As much as he hated to think it, to believe it, he had to brace himself for the fact that when they opened that envelope and read those results that he wouldn't be the father, that these babies wouldn't be his. And that scared him beyond a doubt but it was a possibility, a 50% possibility and he had to prepare himself for that even if Olivia couldn't. "Manny may be the father, and I don't want that but we gotta be ready to accept whatever those results might say."

She stood there for a moment, just letting her tears flow as she nodded and he took her into his arms to comfort her. "You can do this." He said. "we can do this." He said, all the while praying to god to let it be. He knew that he was being selfish, but he didn't care. If selfish meant that these babies he loved to the moon and back, were his, and that his little girl stayed happy and that his marriage, though it would be hard, got a chance to get back on track. If that made him selfish, then yes god, _I'll be a selfish man, but please don't take my family away!_ He prayed as he walked her over to the sofa and handed her the results envelope from the coffee table.

"Nick…"

"It's okay; whatever it says." He said, biting his lip.

She took the envelope and looked at him. She knew he was trying to be strong for her benefit, but he was crumbling inside. And at that moment, she never hated herself more. She took a deep breath before she sat down on the edge of the couch. She couldn't risk falling if… Still in tears, but resolved to do this, she tore open the envelope and began to silently read the results, but after a moment, her breathing became labored. "Liv?"

"Oh god!" She turned her head to speak to Nick but she couldn't get out words.

"Olivia, what is it?" She let her hand that was holding the papers drop and the other went to her stomach and she sat there sobbing. Nick was heartbroken, tears streaming his face and for a moment, he couldn't speak, he was so hurt and so thrown aback.

* * *

 **TBC… In the meantime, a review would be lovely. I'll maybe, probably even write faster, lmao!**


	30. Results & Reality

**Chapter 30**

* * *

.

"I don't know what's up with your brother. He and Olivia have been acting strange since, what, nine, ten days now?" Caesarea was talking on the telephone to Marisol about the situation. She couldn't get information from Nick, who had been avoiding her. All she'd known was that they'd been fighting but she didn't know why, and she suspected that Nick still hadn't gone back home. God it was times like this that she wished Zara was a nosier child. She had her this past weekend and tried to see what she knew, but it was a lost cause. Whatever it was that was causing a rift between he and Olivia, they kept it well under cover.

"¿Qué quieres decir con extraño?"

"Just that. Strange. They've been fighting, the two of them. I don't know what about, because they won't get into it-"

"What about Zara? She has to know something."

"She doesn't, believe me, I've tried."

"Mami, maybe it is nothing."

"Mari, you didn't see him a week ago. He came in here that Sunday after he dropped Zara off, with a bruised face, and both of them were just a wreck though they tried to hide it." Her nerves never did get to rest since then.

"You don't think that he's-"

"I don't know what to think. She shows up in 75 degree weather in a turtleneck and I asked her if he'd hit her -"

"Nick mami? Really? Papi used to hit you, and for years, we never saw it. But, Nicky isn't papi; nobody hated- hates what happened, what papi did to you more than my brother does. I'm gonna trust Olivia. He wouldn't do a thing like that. Manny maybe, but not Nicky. Never Nicky."

" _Manny, maybe_? What does that mean?" Caesarea was quick to defend her boys from accusations, even if they came from their own sister's mouths.

"Nothing. I'm not saying he has, or even will. I'm just saying that he's a bit...Volatile when it comes to women."

"I admit that he's somewhat temperamental at times. but that's because your papi left him so early. He was only four when-"

"I know, Mami. Look, I'll call you later okay? In the meantime, stop worrying. You got a good son in Nicky!"

* * *

He felt like his whole world had collapsed. Looking at Olivia, sitting there in tears, with her hand across her stomach. She'd just started to get a swell; a small one but he'd noticed last night when they made love- _Made Love._ Would they ever after this? He wasn't sure if he could ever touch her in that way again, knowing that she was carrying Manny's babies.

"I need to go!" He said, his own tears threatening to undo him, and he headed for the door before he broke into tears.

"They're yours!" She said through her tears, standing up. Nick wiped his eyes with his back to her, and took a deep breath before he turned around.

"Liv...I know that's what you wanted, what you believed, but it's… baby we gotta face facts-" He said, tears building in his eyes as he walked back over to her.

"No. Nick the test results" She said, trying to calm herself, but she was so excited; so relieved. If ever she felt like crying, like jumping off a damn building and back, it was now! "They're yours; these babies are yours!"

"What?" He snatched the papers from her hand and began reading them. For sure it was right there in black and white and he lost it. His tears flowing quickly. "They're mine!" He said, not really believing it, but it was there, in his hand.

Just then, her phone alerted her to a message as he was in front for her, feeling her stomach. She prayed that it wasn't work but she knew it was and looking at the screen only confirmed It as she dried her eyes. "It's Cragen. I'm sorry, I gotta-"

"It's okay, go. We'll talk later."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He said before she reluctantly went towards the bedroom, looking back at him. He stood there for a moment, letting it sink in; he was the father! There was nothing anyone could say to change that; those babies were his! He took a minute and offered up a silent prayer, then after wiping his face, he took the results, grabbed his jacket and left.

* * *

Pounding on the door to Manny's hotel suite, he couldn't wait for him to open up so he could throw it in his face. _Fucking little shit! God I can't wait to see your face!_ He thought as he banged some more. Finally, Manny came to the door, half asleep and disheveled, wearing last night's clothes.

"What?!" He asked harshly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, but Nick just took the liberty of inviting himself in and pushed the door, walking right past him, into the living room. "Come in…" It was delivered sarcastically, in a low voice as Manny shut the door. "You wanna tell me what you're doing here?"

But instead of words, Nick just slammed the results against Manny's chest.

"What the hell is this?" He took the papers and unfolded them.

"Read them."

Manny, once he had the papers straightened out, began to read them. He was silent as he went over them, then looked up at Nick. Obviously pissed off. "So you faked DNA results-"

"You wish, you little bastard! Those babies are mine, as they should be. Got the results last night. And now that you know, I don't want you around her anymore!"

"She say that?"

"I'm saying it! No tienes asuntos con ella."

"I think I'll be the judge of that!" He smirked, making Nick so mad that he grabbed him up by his shirt.

"You fuck-"

"What? You gonna hit me?" He scoffed. "Go ahead, take a shot."

Nick looked him in the eyes before he changed his mind and let him go. "You're not worth it." He said and took a few steps back. "But I just wish I knew what the hell did I do to you to make you hate me so much."

"I don't hate you Nick. You're my brother, I could never hate you." He said as he poured a glass of water and sat in the armchair to drink it. "It's simply a matter of you having what I want. I love Olivia-"

"You are delusional."

"Am I?"

"Yeah. You are. Stay away from my wife. We're trying to work things out and we don't need anymore of you...and feel free to keep those." He said, referring to the DNA tests, before he turned and left. Manny just sat there for a moment, then looked at the results that he was still holding before he suddenly crushed them, hard, in his hand.

This was far from over.

* * *

She still couldn't believe it as she and Fin rode up to the squad room in the elevator and she touched her belly. Though she wondered where Nick had gone, she wasn't too concerned. Now that they knew that these were his babies, they could finally start working on hopefully getting themselves back to where they were before all of this happened.

"What's up with you today? You seem happy." Fin said, bring her out of her reverie.

"That's because I am happy." She said, smiling as the doors opened on their floor and they walked into the squad room.

"Fin, you got a vic waiting to talk to you. Sam Lincoln? She's in the interview room." Amanda said.

"Is Cap still here?" Olivia asked her just as Cragen came back from the bathroom. "Never mind." She said and ran up behind him. "Captain, can I talk to you for a minute?"

As they went into his office, a delivery man entered the squad room carrying a huge arrangement of beautiful, exotic flowers.

"I got a delivery here for Olivia Benson?"

"Ooh, Nick sure is fancy." Amanda said as she made her way over to him. "I'll sign for it."

...

"Twins?" He couldn't believe it! Olivia was here in his office, the same Olivia he had known and loved for years, and she was telling him that she was having two babies; it didn't seem real and he was overjoyed!

"Nobody was more surprised than Nick and me."

"Do you feel okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm starting to show so, I thought that the time was right to tell you."

"You do know-"

"I know." She smiled. "Fully expecting it and I'm surprisingly okay with it."

"Captain, 1PP is on hold." Munch said as he popped his head in the office.

"I'll let you get that." Olivia said.

"And while you're at it, take the rest of the day off."

"Captain, I-"

"That's an order."

"Does that order extend or…?" Munch asked.

"Sure does, and as soon as you announce your pregnancy, you can take the day off too!"

"Sorry John!" Olivia laughed as she walked out into the bullpen. She was surprised when she saw the huge bouquet of flowers on her desk. "Where did these come from?" She asked, smiling.

"I'm guessing your husband, there's a card in there somewhere." Amanda said as Olivia smelled the flowers and searched for the card, pulling it out. She had a huge smile on her face as she opened it and read it.

 _Flowers as beautiful as you are._

 _Manny_

Just that fast, her smile disappeared as she crumpled the card in her hand. "Get rid of these please!" She said to no one in particular, and walked out of the squad room.

"What the hell was that about?" Munch asked.

"She's pregnant, it's probably hormones." Amanda said as Munch lifted the flowers.

* * *

"The bastard's stalking me!"

"Liv, calm down."

"I get the best news of my life this morning but I can't enjoy it because he's shadowing it!"

"The best news- what are you talking about?"

"We got the test results back last night; Nick's the father!"

"Oh my god. Congratulations."

"Now it doesn't feel like it with this… Why the hell doesn't he go to Miami and stay there?" She said as she rubbed her stomach again.

"I've got one surefire way he'll leave you alone…"

"I'm not gonna arrest him...and I'm not telling Nick. We're just starting to put this mess behind us, I'm not letting Manny come between us."

"Liv..."

"Casey let it go."

"God, I can't even believe I ever slept with him. Ever since you told me about what happened, I'm just disgusted. And you're going to have to deal with this eventually."

"Hopefully it won't come to that. Hopefully he'll find a new interest and leave me."

"And hopefully he'll find another woman he'll become obsessed with and he'll rape her, just like he did you!

"Why can't you just let me handle this?"

"Because you're not handling it. Liv, you're a cop for god's sake! You can't just let him think this is okay."

"I'm gonna go. I have some things I need-" She said, fumbling to grab her purse and jacket.

"Liv don't walk out."

"I'll call you later."

"Liv." But she just walked out the door, leaving Casey sitting at her desk, frustrated. _God, she's so fucking pig-headed!_

* * *

 **TBC…**


	31. Hunted

**Chapter 31**

* * *

.

"Special Victims unit… I'm sorry, detective Benson is out for the day, can I hel-" Rollins was saying when the person on the other end of the line, hung up on her and the line went dead. "...and you have a nice day."

Meanwhile at Manny's hotel suite…

"Thank you, Amanda." He said as he put the phone in the pocket of his jeans, before he walked out of the suite.

* * *

"Hey, Nick, it's Casey."

"Oh, Hey." He and Zara were just getting in the movie theater, and he had his hands full with popcorn and other snacks, so it was bit difficult for him to juggle his phone, too. "¿Quieres sentarte aquí? Muy bien, ten cuidado… I'm sorry Casey, what's up?"

"You sound busy" She said, and was seriously rethinking the reason she had called him in the first place.

"A five year old in a movie theater, you be the judge." He laughed.

"I won't hold you up, but when you get some time, would you call me? It's important."

"I will. Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'll fill you in later." She said and hung up.

She knew that Liv would hate her but she couldn't sit back and do nothing, and she wondered how Olivia could. "You just have to find a way to forgive me." She said out loud to herself, and knowing that she was putting herself on her best friend's bad side.

* * *

Olivia got home, and she was so thankful for the quiet. She had a few hours before Nick would be back with Zara and all she wanted to do was get some sleep being that last night, she caught maybe four hours. Nick was insatiable and very time they'd come down, he'd be right back up within minutes and inside her. By the time he finally finished, she had been begging him to cum. Though she wanted to, she couldn't take more of him and finally fell into a dreamless sleep around 5AM.

Smiling at the memory as she put her purse and the mail down, she continued down the hall on the way to her bedroom but found herself stopping when she got to the spare room. The door was closed and she left it that way as she touched the doorknob, remembering that card that came with the flowers. She'd thought they were from Nick and was both embarrassed and frightened when she saw that they were in fact from Manny. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Forget about her and move on? She couldn't even remember a time when she enjoyed him. Enjoyed the way he touched her, the way he made her body feel, how could those feelings turn so ugly so fast?

Maybe this was a good thing. Yes, she had recommitted to her marriage but deep down she still craved him. Now with what happened, she couldn't imagine hating him more. It was more than just sex he took from her; she knew this man. She shared her body with him, cared for him. For him to go and do something so vile; it was too much! All of it, and she wished she could just go back. Go back to when she first started having dreams about Manny. She wished that she wouldn't have danced with him at the engagement party, not have had so much to drink that it got her thinking. She just wished that everything could be as it was.

" _No!" She screamed but he wouldn't stop and she could do nothing. She was on her stomach being fucked nearly to death and she felt an orgasm building even with the pain of him battering against her cervix. "Mann…Manny, oh god. Pl- please!"_

" _I can feel you baby!" He said and kissed her on the ear then whispered. "Let go. Let your beautiful pussy come all over my cock, baby!"_

She pulled her hand away from the doorknob as if she were holding molten lava as she quickly came out of the memory. Between these thoughts and Casey hounding her about having Manny arrested, she felt like she would go crazy!

 _"And hopefully he'll find another woman he'll become obsessed with and he'll rape her, just like he did you!_

 _"Why can't you just let me handle this?"_

 _"Because you're not handling it. Liv, you're a cop for god's sake! You can't just let him think this is okay._ "

And she didn't. She just wished that Casey could understand that. There was so much more to this than just her. There was Nick and Caesarea, as well as his sisters. She couldn't just spring this on them; she wouldn't. Especially on Nick. She knew that he hated his brother right now and he'd kill him if he knew. She forced herself to stop thinking about it. It had her feeling so dirty that she rushed into her room, literally tearing her clothes off and ran to the shower, turning the water on as hot as she could stand it.

...

Sometime later after she had gotten out of the shower and put on more comfortable clothes, her favorite long, cotton dress, before she indulged in a nap. She couldn't help looking at the door to the guest room again as she passed by on her way to the kitchen. Maybe it was time to move. She couldn't see herself ever going into that room again and she definitely wouldn't be putting her babies in there to sleep. She had to bring it up to Nick but she was sure he would agree to selling this place, she thought as the doorbell rang.

"Can I help you?" She said to the delivery guy upon opening the door.

"Olivia Ben-uh, B-Benson" He stammered, looking at her breasts through the cotton dress she wore. It was quite obvious that she wasn't wearing a bra and he thought the view was absolutely fantastic!

"Yes." She answered, looking at the delivery guy who suddenly had his eyes glued to her chest. She quickly realized why, mentally kicking herself when she did, and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh for fucks sake! I'm up here!" She said, quite annoyed and causing the guy to very embarrassingly look up at her face, though now, he couldn't look her in the eyes.

"I uh, I'm- have a nice day." He said and handed her a beautifully wrapped package, then ran off.

She closed and locked the door and went into the kitchen, sitting the box on the counter while she got a glass of water from the refrigerator, and began drinking it down while looking at the box, turning it this way and that, to find a clue who it was from. "If this is Manny again…" She thought out loud, and thought to call Nick- but quickly decided against it. She sat the box down again as she untied the big white, silk ribbon that covered the teal-blue, wrapped Tiffany box just as her phone rang.

"Caesarea" She answered, trying to sound enthused but failing. While she loved her mother in law, she just did feel like talking to her, or anyone for that matter right now. She and Nick were trying to work things out, and so far they'd managed to keep details from the family, and wanted it to stay that way. But if Olivia knew her mother in law, she was snooping for facts, and Olivia didn't have the energy to deal with it right now.

"Olivia; when are you going to remember, it's mom now?"

"I'll try to remember."

"So… How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Good. That's good… So, you and Nicolas, is everything okay?" She asked timidly.

"Everything's fine."

"Olivia...you'd tell me if something was wrong? I mean if you and the babies weren't safe…"

 _Is she kidding me right now?_ "Caesarea, I told you; Nicolas didn't hit me."

"I just…"

"...and I get it, I do. But you don't have a reason to worry here; your son is a good man. Believe me. I'd have left him a long time ago if he weren't." Curiosity and boredom got the best of her and she began unwrapping the box that sat in front of her.

"So he's moved back in?"

"He's…" She opened the box and inside, there were two sterling silver baby rattles. She smiled when she saw them and quickly reached for the card at the bottom of the box.

 _Para nuestros futuros bebés. Espero que se parezcan a su hermosa mamá!_

 _Todo mi amor_

 _Manny_

"Um, Caesarea I have to go." She said, feeling herself getting angrier by the second.

"Okay, but dinner on Sunday, I expect you both." Olivia, not really listening at this point, agreed to it and hung up the phone as she paced about the small kitchen for a moment before she grabbed everything. The box, wrapping paper and ribbon and the card and went out the door, shoeless where she ended up at the closet with the trash chute and quickly threw it all in.

When she got back to the apartment, she locked the door and stood there for a second to collect herself, after which she went into the living room to relax.

"Damn him!" She steamed, having just turned the corner when…

"Why haven't you haven't answered my calls?" Manny said, from where he stood in the living room by the window.

"Wh- how did you get in here?" She wondered aloud and a bit scared.

"I came to see if you enjoyed the flowers and the gifts for my babies."

"They're not your babies." She said with her hands to her stomach, ignoring his comment about the flowers and the rattles. She just wanted him out of there.

"Aren't they? Nick did come by, waving these _"results"_ but you know, I just don't trust that they're real." He said as he came closer and threw the papers at her.

"They are, very real, and I thank god because having you for their father would have broken me."

"Funny, you don't look broken."

"I'm not doing this. Get out of my house and don't come back!" She said calmly as she started to go for the door. Her tone betrayed the fact that she was trembling inside, but she refused to show it. He would not intimidate her.

"What if I'm not ready to leave?" He asked as he stepped closer to her. "What if I want to spend time with you?"

That's when her mind started to click. Thank god she was near a weapon in case things went south. There were knives in the kitchen and she wouldn't hesitate to use them. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Did you fuck Nick last night?"

"Get out!"

"Answer me!" He screamed as he grabbed her arm and pulled her into him, her back against him. He moved way too fast for her to avoid it. "There are no cops here now, it's just you and me." He said into her ear.

She sent an elbow flying to his ribs, forcing him to let go and she ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the block on the counter. "I mean it, Manny. Get out of here!"

"You gonna cut me?" He asked, standing up straight after she'd knocked the wind out of him and now walking towards her.

"If I have to, your choice!"

"You'd stab the father of your children?"

"You are not their father!" She said as she grabbed her phone.

"Who are you calling, backup?"

"Just leave!"

"I think I'll stay." He said. She took her eyes away for a split second to dial 911, and before she knew it, he had crossed the kitchen and grabbed her!

"Manny, no!" She cried as they struggled. He had caused her to drop her phone when he lunged at her and now he was working on getting the knife from her hand.

"Come on Linda, be a good girl and put it down!" He said, putting emphasis on _down_ as he took her right hand and hit it against the counter causing serious pain as the knife fell and skidded across the floor. He wasted no time in holding her arms behind her back while he stood in front of her, pinning her against the counter and standing in between her legs.

"You can still walk out the doo-"

"Did you let Nick fuck you last night?" He said in a totally calm voice. "Just tell me, Linda." He added with a smile.

"Please… He'll be back with Zara any minute-"

"You did, didn't you, you fucking slut? Tell me!"

"I don't know what you want!" She was confused, and didn't know if it was because she was scared out of her mind, but she quickly got the message when his hand began traveling her middle and she couldn't move to stop him. "No, don't."

"Shh!" Was all he said as he caressed her burgeoning belly. It made her physically nauseous and she had to fight to keep the vomit from erupting.

"Just go!" She begged feeling his hand under her dress and on her thigh. She started to struggle again as she felt it going higher. "Manny, stop-" She said as his hand began tearing at her panties. "Stop!" But he responded by pushing two fingers into her, digging them in deep. "You're hurting me!"

"It'll be quick." He stated, totally nonchalant as he dug around and she squirmed at the intrusion. His fingers found what he was looking for and withdrew, holding them up in front of her; they were coated in Nick's cum. She looked at his hand for a moment, thinking what a sick fuck he is as she fought against him, trying hard to break free and trying not to cry. "You lied to me!" He said as he back slapped her across the face with that same hand, so hard that her head whipped to one side.

"Manny ple-" She started but he grabbed her by the neck and slapped her even harder, letting her fall to the floor.

"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU MAKE ME DO?!" He screamed over her as she tried to get up, holding her stomach.

"Why are you doing this?!" She cried, her nose dripping blood down her face

"Because you; are MINE! Don't you get it?" He said as he grabbed the back of her hair and kneeled down to her. "Can't you see that I love you?" He said in a much calmer, sweeter voice. "I love you and I only want what's best for us and for our babies."

"You have to stop this." She cried as she wiped blood from her nose.

"Stop what baby?"

"I don't love you, I don't want you."

"Of course you do. You're just confused because we haven't been together in so long but you know what I think? I think you need some more of me."

"No, no look at me! You can go and I won't tell Nick or the police or anyone, just please don't do this again, I'm begging you!"

"Do what again...WHAT? You're still going with this story of me forcing you that last time? Well guess what, Olivia, I DID NOT RAPE YOU!" He screamed as she jumped.

"Manny please!"

"I told you before Linda, I'm gonna be the only man you want and we can do it the easy way or the hard way!" He said as he grabbed her face and kissed her, forcing his tongue down her throat as she tried to pull away. But he was adamant and held her hair even tighter as he assaulted her mouth. "Come with me" He said as he got up and pulled her with him.

"NO!" She cried as she pulled away and started to run, but he caught her, by her dress and she slipped, going down and hitting her head on the edge of the counter.

"Get up!" He said as he stood over her unconscious body. "Come on Olivia, get up!" He repeated, moving her hair when he saw it. On her forehead was a huge gash near her temple that was bleeding profusely. He turned his head to look at the counter, there on the corner of it was fresh blood. He looked back at Olivia and he panicked. "Dammit!" He said as he backed away from her and began pacing nervously. "Why did you have to try and run?" He continued pacing, thinking how bad this could be for him. If he showed up with her at a hospital there would be questions; lots of them and then once Nick showed up… "He'll lie. He'll have me arrested!" He looked back at Olivia lying there, one last time and decided that he needed to get the hell out of there and that was exactly what he did. He turned and left, leaving Olivia unconscious and bleeding on the kitchen floor.

* * *

"Today was fun, huh?" Nick said to Zara, carrying her as they came off the elevator. They had spent a fun filled day that unfortunately had to come to an end and he was a little sad at the thought. Sure, he'd see her tomorrow, but it hurt that he didn't sleep in the same house anymore with her and Olivia, and he just wished that this issue weren't an issue and he could just go home.

"Yes, but next time, we take mommy and the babies."

"I promise." He smiled as he approached their door. He started to pull out his keys when he noticed that the door was ajar and he quickly turned to Zara, and tried to stay calm. "Cariño, I'm gonna take you to Mrs. Longworth's for a minute."

"Why?" She asked as he hurried down the hall to Mrs. Longworth's door, knocking frantically.

"Daddy needs to check something out." He said as Mrs. Longworth answered the door.

"Nick"

"Sorry to bother you, but could you watch Zara for me?"

"Of course." She said, taking Zara from Nick's arms. "Is everything alright?"

"That's what I'm hoping." He said as he kissed Zara and ran back down the hall. He came to the door and reached for his gun before he opened it and went inside. "Olivia…" When he got no answer, he got nervous and called again, and was about to call a third time when he saw her lying there in a pool of her own blood. He stopped breathing as he felt his heart stop. "Liv!"

* * *

" _Is she allergic to anything?" The EMT asked him as they tended to her._

" _N-no, I no." He couldn't think. Why couldn't he think?_

" _Any medical conditions we should know about?"_

" _She's pregnant...a little over 11 weeks- please, help her!"_

"Mr. Amaro." The male doctor called to Nick who had been standing outside her room, hoping to hear something. He'd seen the doctors and nurses go in and then come out, but nobody told him anything and now he hoped that the doctor would ease his mind.

"How is she?"

"We closed the cut on her head, but she's still unconconscious."

"I don't understand how this happened." He said, wiping his tears. "...what about the babies? She can't lose them; I can't tell her that, I can't-"

"Listen to me." He said, trying to calm Nick. "We won't know what happened until she wakes up but the babies are fine, so far… In the meantime, we want to collect a rape kit if we have your permission."

"Oh my god!" He said as he turned away from the doctor, in tears.

"I know this is hard for you-"

"Do it...just…"

"You can be present for it-"

"Yes, please...can I see her?"

"Sure. We'll be in to start the rape kit in a bit. I'm sorry." He said with a hand to Nick's shoulder before he walked off.

"God please, you've got to let her be okay!" He prayed.

* * *

 **TBC... Review, por favor?**


	32. A Waiting Game

**Chapter 32**

* * *

.

Back and forth he paced the room. He had been going at it for so long, he'd almost burned a hole in the wood of the floor.

"She's gotta be okay!" He told himself for the umpteenth time since he'd gotten back to his suite. He'd had her blood on him; the hem of his sleeve was covered in it and he quickly stripped off the shirt when he got to his bedroom, stripped off everything and got in the shower. Now however, he stood in sweatpants, worried out of his mind and just pacing.

He wanted to call his mom. Maybe she knew something. But if she didn't, he was afraid that he'd look guilty. No. He couldn't call. He had to let her tell him. Besides, he didn't have anything to feel guilty about. Olivia was the one who fell. SHE slipped his grasp. SHE was the one who'd hit her head against the counter. He hadn't done anything but leave. Yeah, thinking back, he knows that he should have called an ambulance, but Nick was coming soon if she wasn't lying. He'd handle it.

"You need to relax." He told himself. He'd already taken a huge dose of coke, but that couldn't seem to put his mind in the space where he needed it to be. He needed a woman! And if he couldn't have the one he craved more than the air he breathed, her best friend would have to do.

* * *

"Thanks Kira. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Ms. Novak." The secretary said. She had gone and Casey was finished, finally for the day. And after fourteen hours, she was ready to go home and unwind. She was packing her briefcase when her phone rang and she looked for it on her desk before she saw it was Manny and she stopped for a second, debating whether she should just ignore the call but she had words to get off her chest and with that, she pressed to answer.

"Manny."

"Hey baby!" He said with a smile. "What are you doing right now?"

"I'm just getting off work, heading home."

"You sound like you could use some fun…"

"Manny…"

"I'm just saying, why don't you come over here, or I could come over there if you wish. I'm sure we could find something to get into." When she responded with a laugh, he became irate but didn't let it show. "What's so funny?"

"I'm just amazed that you would dare call me for a hookup."

"What do you mean "dare" call you? I don't understand, I thought we were good."

"And we were until you raped my best friend!"

"What?!"

"I know all about what happened, Manny, so can it. I just wonder how, do you even sleep at night knowing what you did?"

"Look, I don't know what Olivia told you-"

"Everything. And you, you half assed excuse for a man are _so_ lucky that she's just trying to forget that it happened, because I would love nothing more than to throw your ass in prison where you belong!"

"I did not rape Oliv-"

"Save it! Oh and just so you know, she may want to forget it happened, but I don't!"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that as soon as I can get her husband, I'll be telling him everything she told me."

"Then you're not a very good friend for two reasons."

"Yeah? Amuse me, what are those?"

"One, it wouldn't be a very good move to betray what I assume was a confidence. And two, it isn't true. I never raped anybody; least of all, Olivia. If she told you everything then she must have told you that we're in love and that it wasn't the first time that we _made_ love…"

"She was right, you are a sick bastard."

"Funny, I didn't hear that when I was fucking you stupid."

"And you're absolutely right! But hey, we all make mistakes. That was mine. And you, you'll be dealing with yours soon enough! Do me a favor and lose my number!" She said before she hung up on him.

"FUCK!" He yelled as he slammed his phone down. "Fuck! _You can't let her tell Nick these lies about you!_ The voice in his head told him. "Don't you think I know that?!" He answered. _She tells him and it's just the beginning of your problems. He'll convince Olivia that it's true, you'll be…_ "Shut up! Let me think!" He screamed as he sped around the room. _Is it really necessary, Manny? You know what has to be done…_ He slowed down and took a sear on the edge of the chair. "I have to shut her up!" _We have to shut her up!_ They agreed simultaneously as he got up and went to the bedroom to finish dressing.

* * *

"Oh Dios mio! Nicolas, por qué no me llamaste antes?"

"I don't know, I just…"

"How are the babies, don't tell me she lost them!"

"No, thank god. Listen, Mami, will you get Zara? I already called Mrs. Longstein-"

"Of course, dont worry."

"Thank you. Mrs. Longstein has my keys, they're done dusting for prints so everything's good. But I need to get back to Olivia. Will you text me when you get there and have Zee? ...Thanks, Mami… I will." He ran a hand down his face and took a deep breath before he turned around and went to sit at Olivia's bedside, taking her hand in his and kissing it. Then gently placing his other hand on her small bump.

"We're gonna do everything we can to keep you guys with us...this is your dad, and I'm making a promise to you both that we're gonna keep you safe." He said with tears in his eyes. "But I need you to send some of your energy to your mama so she'll wake up, cuz I can't do this without…" He said, starting to cry again. It had been four hours since he'd found her and god only knows how long she had been lying there before then. He touched her hair, brushing it with his fingers and kissed her forehead. They'd done a rape kit a little over an hour ago. He'd sat there holding her hand, watching as they collected samples from her body and he prayed that they didn't find anything; he couldn't bear to think that she had been violated in that way.

"Mr. Amaro" The nurse said as she came in the room. Nick looked up from Olivia to give her his attention. "I'm here to take your wife for an MRI."

"MRI?" He wasn't at all sure if it was safe.

"It's for her head. The doctor needs to be sure that there are no bleeds."

"But the babies-"

"...are totally safe. We'll be performing it without contrast. I promise, they'll be fine." Nick looked at her, stroking her hair again before he kissed her.

"Can I come with her?"

"Absolutely, you can stay in the waiting area."

"Okay."

"Okay." She said, preparing the bed to move. "Dont worry."

* * *

"Wait, she what?" He pretended as he walked through the lobby of the hotel. His mom had finally called to tell him about Olivia. How Nick had found her and he had to act shocked at the whole thing.

"Manny please, usted tiene que ir a él! I can't because I have Zara. But please, your brother needs you!"

But Manny needed to get to Casey. He didn't have time right now to go to Nick. And besides, it's not like he would be welcome anyway; not that his mother knew that.

"Yeah, okay." He said, hating every word as it left his lips. "I'll go there now."

"Thank you baby. I'm so glad you're in town. He really needs his brother right now!"

"Me too, mami." _Shit!_ He thought as he hung up. He got outside and looked to his left and then to his right. One was the direction of the hospital, and one was Casey's apartment. He needed to take care of this but he'd promised his mother… "Dammit!" He cursed out loud before he hailed a cab and sped off.

* * *

Casey had gotten off the elevator on her floor, finally having made it home. She said hello to her neighbor, laughing with him for a moment before she continued down the hall to her apartment, fumbling for her keys when her phone rang.

"Novak." She answered, not bothering to look at the screen. "Hey Ni… What... Oh my god! No…no I'll be right there!" She said, already in tears. "I will...okay." She said and hung up just as she found her keys. She quickly unlocked the door, put her briefcase and other files on the living room desk and hurried back out the door.

She got to the hospital in record time and ran inside, finding out what room Olivia was in and going to find Manny getting on the same elevator.

"Don't!" She said to him when he came toward her.

"Don't what? I'm here for my brother. I just heard."

"The brother that hates your guts right now?" When a look of anger appeared on Manny's face, she smiled. "...there is NOTHING that I don't know!"

"You need to stop this!"

"Relax. Nick has too much to worry about with Liv right now so your little secret is safe. But make no mistake, as soon as she's in the clear, I _will_ be telling him the truth… Unless she does!"

* * *

"Daddy, I miss mommy." Zara said as she a Nick chatted on face time.

"I know sweetie."

"Can I talk to her?"

"Um, not right now you can't baby." He was trying to keep his tears back but with Olivia, and now talking to Zara, he felt himself coming undone again.

"But why?"

"Baby...mommy's sleeping right now." He felt the tears coming and dropped his head for a second. He would not cry in front of Zara. As far as she was concerned, everything was fine and he prayed that he could keep it that way just a little longer.

"She sleeps a lot." She answered, remembering that Nick had told her that this morning when she questioned why Olivia hadn't been up to get her ready for school.

"I know, mi amor. But you remember what we told you about mommy being pregnant?"

"The babies make her tired?"

"That's right. And it's late, you should be tired too."

"Bedtime?" She asked sadly.

"Bedtime, little beauty. But hey, I love you and I'll talk to you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay. Goodnight daddy."

"Goodnight princess." He said and planted a kiss to the screen before he hung up and turned to go back in the room when he heard Casey call his name and he turned around to see her running towards him, Manny behind her.

"How is she?"

"Unconscious. The babies are safe thank god but she's unconscious. The cops aren't sure what happened yet; if it was an attempted robbery or if she was raped…" Casey gave Manny the side eye while wondering but she didn't let on to Nick.

"Nick, I'm…"

"It's… she has to be okay, that's all that matters! I don't care about what happened between us, I don't. I just want her to be alright!" He said with tears falling.

 _Alright so she can be with me. God please!_ Manny prayed.

"She will be. You just have to believe it."

"I'm gonna go back in with her, you can come…"

"Yeah, I need a minute, I'll be there." She said in tears.

When he turned, and finally decided to acknowledge Manny. "What are you…?"

"Mami sent me. Nick, is she-" but Nick was already up in his face.

"Get the hell out of here before I throw you out!" He steamed, looking Manny straight in the eyes for a long moment before he turned around and walked off.

"Those are my babies-" Nick stopped and turned around.

"Your babies? ...¡eres una puta patética! If I catch you near this hospital again, I will kill you!"

"So that's it? You can forgive her, but not your own brother?" But Nick just kept walking, disappearing into Olivia's room.

"You heard him. Get out of here." Casey said to him and he walked off as the elevator opened and out came Cragen, Fin, Munch and Rollins. Along with Nick's captain. "You guys are here!"

"We heard about what happened, but it wasn't exactly clear." Cragen said as they looked at Manny for a second and watch him storm out of there before they turned around.

"What happened? Is she alright?" Fin asked and as they stood around talking, Amanda couldn't help but continue to watch Manny as he slammed open the door to the staircase and went out. She quickly left the group and followed him.

...

"It's hard, I know. Seeing someone you love like that." She said when she caught up with him, standing against the wall of the staircase.

"You're uh…" He was seriously unable to recall her name, as he never thought about fucking her. But right now, her blonde hair and tight jeans; her less than voluptuous curves weren't usually his type but he wasn't in the mood to hunt. He just wanted to fuck, and her slender body would do for the night.

"Amanda"

"Yes, I'm sorry. It's just with all…"

"I can imagine. I'm sorry." She said as he waved her off. "Why don't we go out for a beer, you can vent, get your mind off things."

"Thanks Amanda, but I'm not really up for public places tonight." _Bait cast_.

"That's understandable… Listen, I know that you don't know me that well, but- if you want, we can go to my apartment. It has beer." She smiled.

 _Gotcha!_

* * *

 **TBC… Reviews are lovely. Truly lovely. Won't you love me today and leave one?**


	33. Lies For Everyone

**Chapter 33**

* * *

.

One in the morning and nobody could seem to sleep. They all had all returned to work at the precinct, minus Amanda who had gone off with Manny hours ago. None of them could get Olivia out of their minds; all of them being hit by it in a different way, especially Cragen. He loved her like a daughter and this hit him especially hard. At first, they all opted to stay the night in the hospital waiting room until Nick came and convinced them to go home. The reality was, there was nothing that anybody could do; they'd just have to wait and pray and realizing that,Nick was right, they all chose to keep busy, working to occupy their minds. And so, at one in the morning, Fin, Munch and Cragen sat around the squad room going over cases that never got solved in hopes that tonight, maybe they'd see something that they hadn't before.

Amanda and Manny; it started off as a friendly conversation. They got back to her place in Brooklyn, uncapped a couple bottles of beer and just talked, for the longest time. Manny taking the time to paint Nick negatively without Amanda realizing it.

 _That fucker!_ He'd made Manny so angry, kicking him out of the hospital like that. Who did he think he was? He didn't own Olivia. _"...If I catch you near this hospital again, I will kill you!"_ It was Nick's fault that Manny had made him look guilty and he had done a great job if he said so himself. Right now however, he shut down the talking. He had come here to fuck and that's exactly what he was doing.

He had Amanda against the wall, her petite body suspended in the air and he was fucking the life out of her! Banging the wall with every thrust he gave, damn her neighbors! Tonight, this was his pussy and he was determined to fuck it shut. Forget her cries in between those of absolute ecstasy.

" _Please! Oh god, I need a break!"_ And _"Baby please slow down!"_

But it fell on deaf ears as he wasn't interested in hearing her. He fucked her ass and mouth until he literally had no more to give and by then, cum soaked, sore and exhausted, she simply fell into a deep sleep while he lay beside her awake, and thought of Olivia.

And over at Casey's, she did what she usually did when she was facing something that she didn't wanna deal with or feel. She'd spotted the security guard at the hospital. And after she'd let him eat her pussy and finger her to an orgasm in the break room; she took him home with her and fucked him. His dick wasn't the biggest, she'd found out. But he knew how to use it and it did the job nicely. She was currently working on her third orgasm of the night with him on top of her and her legs pushed back.

"Oh god...harder… HARDER god dammit! Oh my god… Rightthererightthererightthere… Oh god I'm cumming…'

"I'm right behind you…" He said through labored breath, just before he came hard and fell on top of her before he pulled out and rolled off. His semi hard little dick in the air with the condom still on it.

"That was decent!" She said through ragged breaths.

"Thanks babe!"

'How long til you're ready to go again?"

"Uh… Ten minutes?" He supposed as he took off the condom. _Damn, this woman was greedy!_ But he liked that!

"Make it five!" She said, climbing on top of him and straddling his dick. This beat thinking about her problems and for tonight, she'd gladly try to forget about the dick of the rapist and how good it was.

* * *

Amanda woke up the next morning smiling before she even opened her eyes. She stretched, quickly regretting it as her whole body was in pain. But it was a glorious ache, she thought as she brought her arms down and reached over to the other side of the bed. She was sore but so ready for more of Manny, only he wasn't there.

She quickly opened her eyes to see him across the room, his jeans on, unbuttoned and no shirt as she looked at the angel on his back. She remembered how it looked like it was flying as he ate her out and she suddenly got wet and felt her nipples harden just watching him.

"Hey...you!" He smiled, still unable to remember her name as he stood up straight, finally finding his shirt when he felt her eyes on him and turned around.

"Hey yourself… Leaving?"

"I'm sorry." He said as he put on his shirt. "I've got a ton of things to tend to. I was hoping not to wake you; after last night, I thought you could use the sleep."

"I could've, and thank you. But I'm wide awake now, and I don't have to be to work til eight…"

"And I'd love to but like I said, I got a ton of things to tend to." He came in and she leaned her head back so he could kiss her. He went slowly, tangling her hair in his hand and adding his tongue as she parted her lips. Suddenly stopping, he drew back. "I'd better get going."

"You sure you can't stay?" She asked, a pleading tone in her voice. She didn't want to beg, but God, this man took her to new heights last night and right now, he had her on fire!"

"I'm sorry baby."

"It's okay. I know you have to tend to your family, but I hope last night turns into more than just one time."

"I hope so too." He lied. He still couldn't remember her name, but he didn't care. He got what he wanted. His sexual urges satiated; and in the process, he'd thrown doubt on Nick, telling Amanda last night about him and Olivia being separated. Although he didn't tell her that he was the reason. This was turning out to be quite the hookup he thought as he kissed her head and walked out of the bedroom, stopping to grab his jacket from the living room before he walked out the door.

She lay there in bed for a few seconds then got up to go lock the door, standing against it for a moment. With the sheet wrapped on her body, she began to let her hands travel, stopping at her cotton covered breasts. "Jesus, that man is perfect!" She thought aloud as she pulled her nipple even harder than Manny had just done as the other hand went in between her legs and she rubbed her clit through the sheet. "six fifteen..." she said. Thinking it was just enough time for her to get herself off before she got to the precinct.

* * *

"...I'll be there after I take Zara to school. How's she doing?" Caesarea asked Nick as she talked to him on the phone.

"She's still the same. Her MRI came back, no damage, no bleeds. There's no reason why she shouldn't wake up. She lost a lot of blood while she was… Dios, cómo pudo suceder esto?" He cried to his mother.

"Nicolas, I know baby. But now is not the time to question him."

"I don't wanna hear that right now. My wife is lying here in a coma; she's eleven weeks pregnant and she's in a coma because God saw fit to let some asshole… I can't do this right now. Is Zara-"

"Hold on." She wiped her eyes and passed the phone to Zara who was sitting at the counter eating breakfast. "It's papi."

"Good Morning, daddy!" She sang in his ear, making him smile through his tears.

* * *

Taking a cab back to Manhattan, back to his hotel after leaving Amanda's apartment, Manny was on cloud nine. He'd gotten his sexual itch scratched, even if Amanda wasn't too good at it. But he didn't Care. Last night, she was pretty much his ragdoll and he took her how he wanted her for most of the night, though she did suck a mean dick!

Honestly, he was just thankful that he got out unscathed. He told her he'd call. A lie, considering that he didn't have her number. He'd guessed that she was so amazed by last night, that she forgot that she never gave it to him while he had her cumming nonstop; and with imagining that he was fucking Olivia, it was so easy.

"Though, she's nothing like you you, baby!" He said under his breath. He remembered how when he kissed her yesterday, his tongue tasting her mouth, even with her nose dripping so much blood on her mouth, she tasted so damn delicious! He'd actually licked the blood from her lips, and god every part of her was divine! When he closed his eyes, he could still feel her on him. Feel her hands as they gripped his shoulders and his back. He could feel her beautiful thighs on his hips as he fucked her with such power! He could still hear her, the way her breath would catch right before she would cum, and how she'd scream his name. God, he was getting hard again just thinking about her! Her voice, her body, those breasts. He was truly mesmerized. They were so sensitive. He remembered the first time she'd let him fuck, she came just from him sucking her nipples. God that was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen!

He began to stroke himself, there in the backseat of the taxi as it went over the bridge. He pulled his dick from his pants and while thinking of her and how she went down on him that first time; her throat was like velvet! She sucked him down so good, he was sure that he'd never had better, she didn't even gag on his size, and that took skill! He reached for his handkerchief in just the nick of time, because he came hard. Quickly filling the cloth and when he was done, he threw it out the window and slumped back in his seat.

" _Soon enough baby. I'll have him out of the way and then you and I can be together!''_

"Hey, before you get to my hotel, I need you to make a stop!" He said once he got his breath back. He needed to see someone, and this time, it wouldn't wait.

...

"Yes… Okay, I'm gonna stop in to see her before I go to work. Do you need anything?" Casey asked Nick as they were talking on the phone and she was running around her apartment in her underwear, trying g to get ready to leave for the day.

"No...oh, you know what? Yeah. If you cpula stop by the apartment and get my charger, I'm almost out of juice."

"Anything else? What about breakfast, have you eaten?"

"No, but I'm…"

"Not hungry? Nick, if I let you waste away, Liv will kill me. So, what'll it be?"

" Case-"

"Nope. What'll it be?" he had to give a curt laugh, touched that she cared so much.

"Anything."

"That's more like it. And I'm gonna watch you eat! See you in about forty minutes." And she hung up, about to put on her suit when. her doorbell rang. _Dammit!_ She thought as she tied her robe and moved from the bedroom to the living room to answer the door. She should have looked through the peephole before she opened the door but she began to wish that she had after it was open and she saw Manny standing there.

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Too bad!" He said as he pushed past her to enter the apartment. "I didn't get to finish what I-"

"You wanna convince me of how you're innocent, and it was all a misunderstanding? Save it and get out!"

"I'm gonna tell you this once. Do not fuck with me!"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Take it how you want. You're trying to ruin my life over something Olivia told you because she was upset."

"Upset? I don't think so."

"Really? Cuz she accused me once before-"

"Yep. But this time, you did it, you piece of shit! And soon, Nick's gonna know and then what are you gonna do?"

"Casey, stop this!"

"What? Afraid of big brother?"

"I'm not afraid of anyone."

"We're done here. Get out!"

"You fucking bi-"

"Man, I needed that shower to wake me up!" The tall, blonde man who was wrapped in nothing but a towel on his waist said as he came from the back. Manny had been about to strike Casey but when he saw the man, he immediately changed his mind. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had company."

"It's okay. Manny was just leaving."

"Don't do this." He pleaded.

"Goodbye." She waved to him. He went to the door, looking back at her before he left, and Casey locked it once he was gone.

"Mind if I ask?"

"You could, or you could eat me one last time before we leave!" She smiled.

"Panties on or off?" He asked, smiling as he walked toward her and undid her robe and quickly sank to his knees.

...

Out in the hall, waiting for the elevator, Manny was livid!

"Who the hell does she think she is? That bitch! She's trying to come between us, Nick's trying to come between us. I have to stop this!" He said as he looked back at her door just as the elevator came.

* * *

 _"So that's it? You can forgive her, but not your own brother?"_

Of all the things he had running through his mind, this was the one thing that try as he might, he couldn't shake from it.

He checked Olivia's IV, making sure that it was flowing properly, then fixed her covers to be sure she wasn't cold. Kissing her forehead and rubbing her small belly, before he got up to stretch his legs, walking out into the hallway to breathe.

He ran his hands down his face, then through his hair as he walked the hall a few feet. He didn't go far from her room, needing to be near just in case… "She'll wake up, Nick. She has to." He told himself looking at the clock on the wall. _7:45_ he read. He checked his watch and then his phone. Had he really been here that long? Coming up on 14 hours since he'd found her lying there.

"Don't think about it!" He said, immediately bombarded with that thought again.

 _"...You can forgive her, but not your own brother?"_

He pulled out his phone once again and began to dial but he put it away again before something told him to take it out, and there he was, dialing again. But this time, he didn't put it away and he held it to his ear as it rang.

Manny was just on his way to his hotel when he pulled his phone from his pocket and saw that it was Nick. He right away got the idea to just ignore it, send it to voicemail, but instead he answered. "Nick, what a surprise." He said, feeling less that loving toward his brother after being kicked out of the hospital last night.

"You wanna know why I can forgive her and not you?"

"Iluminame."

"It's because she's sorry, and that's something you never were. From the day I found out, all you had to say was _oh well!_ like it didn't matter. I trusted you with everything I had in this world. You were my brother, my number one and I loved and trusted you over everybody else and you went behind my back, with my wife, and you betrayed me!"

Manny sat in the car, silent for a moment before he spoke. So many emotion were running through his head. The top two being his brother and Olivia. He loved Nick, he did but if it came down to Nick and the woman he loved; still Nick was right about one thing: they were brothers. And brothers shouldn't be at each other's throats. "Look, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. Just admit that you lost."

"What?"

"Look, I know it's hard, especially with a woman like Olivia, to let go of that but hermano, she loves me. And our babies."

"Okay, I knew this was a mistake, calling you. And you are gonna stop calling my babies, yours. Tú entiendes?"

"Nick, it doesn't have to be this way. We can be a happy family, you just have to let go of this obsession you have with her."

"Obsession? Okay, you know what Manny? We're done."

"If she wants you so much, then why did she turn to me that Saturday night?" _Shut up Manny!_ His inner voice said, but he just kept on going.

"What?"

"That's right." _Shut up, now!_ "After you left my hotel suite, So tell me again how you're trying to work things-"

"Goodbye Manny!" He said then hung up, mad a hell. "She wouldn't do this!" He said, trying to calm down but he was so angry that there in the empty hallway, he began kicking a trash can. He knocked it over and when he'd kicked the shit out of that, he punched the wall three times then sat down and cried.

Meanwhile, Manny didn't realize that by telling that little tale, he'd just outed himself.

* * *

"So I think I need security." Casey said as she sat down in the D.A.s office.

"Security? For what?" D.A. Barnes wondered.

"It's complicated."

"Well then, uncomplicate it." The stern-faced man said, leaving Casey no room to misunderstand that he wanted details.

"I- I'm- this isn't going to make sense to you right now but; I have information about a crime that was committed."

"And?"

"And I can't do anything about it because the witness is is afraid. This man raped a woman, and he knows that I know and he isn't happy about it."

"He threaten you?"

"Not directly."

"Then-?"

"Jason, he's dangerous."

"I see." Barnes sat quietly for a long moment before he stood up and walked to the window, looking out. Casey sat there, wondering just what he was thinking, and was about to speak when he turned around to her. "In the years you've worked for this office, one thing I've seen is you trusting your instincts and not being wrong. You got your police protection."

* * *

He sat there. 3 hours after that call to Manny and he still couldn't believe what he'd said.

". _..she was so relieved that it was over. We made love; did it all night."_

"Liv… Baby I'm trying. I'm trying so hard but I don't know what to think anymore." He said as he got up, grabbed his jacket and walked out. Not knowing where he was going but after showering, and getting a change of clothes, he ended up at Zara's school. He signed her out early that day and took her out for lunch before they went to central park. The weather was nice that day, so they took a boat ride on the lake before feeding the ducks at the pond.

"Daddy?"

'Yeah baby?"

"Is mommy awake now?" And just like that, he knew he couldn't keep lying to his little girl.

"I wanna tell you something. But, I need for you to be a big girl and listen to me. Can you do that for me?"

"Daddy, I'm five. I can do it."

"You can, can't you?" He said, smiling and suddenly feeling tears prick his eyes. Tears that he blinked back because he wanted to be strong for his daughter. "He picked her up and sat her down on his lap before he began speaking. "Do you remember yesterday, when I took you to Mrs. Longstein's house?"

* * *

Manny arrived at the hospital around four o'clock. He rode up to Liv's room and stopped when he came to her door. He could hear Nick, in his head, already telling him to get away and he wanted to avoid that. All he came here to do was check on Olivia, see how she was doing and he didn't want to deal with the negativity. He stood outside the door, wondering how he'd get in there when a nurse came out.

"Excuse me, is Mr. Amaro in there?"

"He left a few hours ago. I was just checking on Mrs. Amaro."

"Oh. Is she okay?"

"She's fine for now, still unconscious, but... I'm sorry, I've got other patients…"

"No, that's alright. I'm her brother in law, would it be okay if I sat with her?"

'Absolutely. Sorry I don't have more time to chat…"

"It's okay. Thank you very much…"

"Monique." She said as she down the hall. Manny was ecstatic and hurried into Olivia's room.

There she was. Looking so lovely in spite of the bandage to the side of her head and the bruise on her cheek. But hey, they were lessons learned ad far as he was concerned. He went over to the bed and he kissed her for a long time. Adding tongue as he reached down to feel her breast through the hospital gown she wore. Playing with her nipple through the fabric.

"Do you know how much I've missed you?" He asked as he was bent over the bed, stroking her hair. "It was so terrible, Nick wouldn't let me see you and I worried all night long." He said as he kissed her head, then her nose before going to her mouth again and kissing her hard as his hand went beneath the blanket and parted her legs, feeling her slit before he stuck in a finger; moving it in and out while he rubbed her clit.

"You missed this, didn't you, baby?" He asked as he kept going. God she felt like heaven as he continued to kiss her, going lower until he was at her breasts were he quickly undid the buttons on her gown, freeing her breasts and he took a nipple in his mouth. He was too far gone at this point to ever pull him back.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Nick was walking into the hospital with Zara. They had gotten off the elevator on Olivia's floor and were walking to her room when they stopped down the hall.

"You sure you wanna do this?" He asked as he kneeled down in front of her. He didn't know what it was, but something about today, spending time with Zara and having a long talk with her. It put things in perspective and he realized, there's no way that Olivia would have done what Manny said. He thought back to that day and she as well as he, was heartbroken over the events that had taken place that day. The only one who wasn't upset was Manny and Nick put it out of his mind that there was something wrong with with his brother. To obsess over someone who didn't want him… But he wouldn't waste time on that right now. Right now, he had his baby girl here and he had to be sure that she was alright. "Because if you don't, it's okay. I'll understand, and so will mommy if this is a little scary for you."

"No, I wanna do it." Zara said on no uncertain terms.

"Okay." He kissed her head before he stood, picking her up.

...

In Olivia's room, Manny had fixed her gown and covers and was buttoning his pants as he was talking her.

"I'll try to come by as often as possible, but it might not be easy with Nick. You were incredible, by the way!" He said and then kissed her, rising up just as Nick came in the room.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I just came to see how she's doing."

"Hi, uncle Manny." Zara waved but she saw Olivia and she jumped out of Nick's arms and ran to her bedside. "Mommy!"

"You are so lucky that I have my child here, because I would kick your sorry ass all over this hospital!"

"She-"

"I don't wanna hear it. You get out of here and I don't care what your reasons, I catch you here again, Zara or not. There will be blood shed. Yo don't believe that? Try me!" He said matter of factly, letting him know that he was dead serious. Manny turned to look at Olivia and smiled.

"It's alright. I got what I came for!" He said and left. Nick didn't even have a moment to spend on it when he saw Zara with her mom and he went over to them. Noticing the tears that were rolling down the sides of Olivia's face and onto her pillow.

 _My god, was she crying?_

* * *

 **TBC… Reviews are beauty and love.**


	34. Interrogated

**Chapter 34**

* * *

.

"Yeah? And what if me keeping this about Nick and Liv not living together is important to the case?" Amanda said. After coming down off her sex-high, she had been thinking about what Manny had told her all day, turning it over in her head and she finally just told Fin and Munch.

"Important how? You soundin like you think Nick did it!" Came from Fin, quick and to the point.

"No- of course not. I just, why would he tell me that?

"Are you sure that's what his brother said? Why wouldn't they be living together? It makes no sense." Munch said.

"I didn't wanna seem like I was trying to be nosy so I didn't ask."

"I'm sure dude must've gotten it wrong."

"Although, it would explain the other day." Munch said. He had Fin and Rollins attention. "Nick's baby brother comes by and Liv goes to talk to him, only when she comes back, she's about to cry and heads straight for the locker room. He could've been trying to sort things out and she couldn't handle it."

"Oh my god, the flowers!" Amanda suddenly remembered. "yesterday, she got a delivery for a beautiful bouquet of flowers remember? And when she read the card right before she left, she got upset and had us throw them out. What if they were from Nick?"

"You two are loco! If Olivia were angry at Nick, I would've known **."** Fin spat.

"Just a theory." Munch said

"A bullshit theory. And we should stop mindin their business. Maybe they are living apart, maybe they're working something out. It can be hard when you've got babies entering the situation and even harder with two of them. The point is, we don't know.

"I'm gonna find out." Amanda said.

* * *

Zara asked him about Olivia's tears and he told her they were involuntary, but he didn't believe that. Especially when Manny had just left after he snuck in. He should have thought, god, why did he leave her alone? Still haunted by seeing those tears. He didn't want to scare Zara but he'd hurried and pressed the call button.

"Hey Mr. Amaro, what can I do for you. Hello there." She said to Zara, smiling.

"Hi." Zara said timidly and turned her attention back to her mother while Nick pulled the nurse to the side.

"My wife; she was crying."

"It could've been just a neurological response, her brain might have been telling her eyes to release tears, but I'll be glad to check."

"Wait, did you know that there was someone in here while I was gone?"

"Yes, a nice guy too. He said he was her brother in law, and just wanted to sit with her. She was alone and I-"

"The nurse who was on duty last night, Lynn, is she here?" He asked, referring to the nurse that performed Olivia's rape exam.

"Yes. Would you like for me to call her?"

"Please."

...

A few minutes later, Lynn entered the room, much to Nick's relief. She had performed the rape exam and even if she couldn't tell him of any injuries they may have found during, she'd know if there were anything new.

"I need for you to check Olivia again- down there." He said near a whisper.

"Sure, I can do that. But do you mind if I ask why? Hey sweetie!" She waved to Zara, who waved back.

"There was someone in here while i was gone and I'm not sure if...can you check for injuries. Irritation, swelling, anything out of the ordinary?"

"We can perform another rape kit if you'd like."

"I think we should hold off until we know if there's cause for it. I know she's comatose but I don't wanna put her through that again if it's not needed."

"I understand."

"I could be worrying for nothing but I need to be sure." If only he'd known that she had indeed been assaulted. And not only that, but she lay there, trapped while Manny terrorized and abused her. She felt everything, every horrifying moment of that half hour and she couldn't scream, she couldn't fight; she couldn't even move or open her eyes. She just lay there, helpless, vulnerable while Manny did what he wanted and then walked away as if it were nothing. She wanted someone to strip and scrub her body, but she couldn't make anyone understand her.

"Zara, nurse Lynn needs to check mommy. How about we go and get a snack from the cafeteria?" He said.

"No thank you. I don't want a snack."

"Okay, well why don't we go to the gift shop and get mommy some more flowers?" Zara eagerly nodded, even though there was already a bouquet there that they had brought less than an hour ago.

"No wait. Balloons."

"Balloons it is."

"Will we come right back?" The child wondered.

"Right back."

"Okay." She said and kissed Olivia before she jumped down off the bed. "Be right back mommy." She said then turned to Nick. "Can we bring mommy a Teddy bear, too?" She asked as Nick took her hand and they walked out.

* * *

As much as he wanted to, he wasn't stupid. He knew that the nurses would see. That, and as much as he tried, she wouldn't stretch. She didn't even get wet much when he'd fingered her. But still, he tried to slide his penis in and she wouldn't give. He'd barely gotten the head in and couldn't go further. He tried for about three minutes, his first instinct being to just force it in, but that would've made a mess that he couldn't explain, so he had to stop. He withdrew the head and lay beside her, he slid in a finger and continued to gently fuck her pussy while he jerked himself off. Then when he was all done, he'd cleaned her up and fixed her diaper back.

He couldn't stop smiling since Nick had kicked him out of her room. Now he was riding the elevator up to his hotel suite and he still had that smile on his face. "Not gonna catch me that easily, Nick!" He said, and got off on his floor, a pep in his step.

Now he just had Casey to worry about!

* * *

"Mr. Amaro." The nurse called to him while he paced outside the room. He and Zara had been waiting for about five minutes, not taking as long in the gift shop as he had hoped.

"Did you find anything?"

"Nothing. She's fine."

"Oh, thank god!" He said, just as Zara came to him.

"Daddy, can I see mommy now?"

* * *

He called his mother when it was time to take Zara home. Following this afternoon, he didn't trust leaving Olivia alone. He and Zara hated having to say goodbye to each other for the night, and Zara especially hated saying goodbye to Olivia. That was when she started to cry.

"What if she never wakes up?"

"Have I ever made a promise to you that I didn't keep? ...no, exactly! And I'm making you a promise now. She's gonna wake up, and it's gonna be soon. She's gonna hold you again and tell you she loves you, baby. Daddy promises this to you! Okay?"

"Okay." She walked over to Olivia and gave her a big kiss, then laid her head down on her chest, hugging her as best she could and just lay there. Nick and Caesarea both teared up at watching Zara.

...

He'd had so many questions. Was she actually alert to the world around her? Were her tears to let them know she was there now that he knew that she hadn't been messed with? He sat at her bedside, holding her hand, trying to communicate with her.

"Liv, baby. I know that you can hear me. Just please, come back back to us." He pled as there was a knock at the door before Amanda came in.

"Hey. Is now a good time? I could come back-"

"No, it's fine. Come on in." He said as he wiped his tears. She came over to Olivia's bedside and looked at the two of them, at him the way he was holding her hand while he gently stroked her hair. This was love. Plain and simple and she hated herself right now for coming here but this couldn't wait.

"How's she doin?"

"The same. I guess that's a good thing-"

There was a long moment of quiet before she spoke again. "Nick… Do you think I could talk to you? I know the timing is all fucked up and I'm sorry but this really can't wait."

"Yeah." He put her hand down before he got up and motioned toward the sofa and chair on the far side of the room. "What's up?" He said as they sat down.

"It's about your brother."

"Manny?" What could Rollins possibly know about Manny that she had to tell him? Unless the fucker got arrested. _Please tell me he got arrested!_

"Last night, I saw him leaving here and he looked really upset so I took him home and gave him a beer and an ear. Um; he said some things."

"Manny said some things to you?" He asked, quite surprised but at the same time, he wasn't. Not considering the fact that he knew now that his brother was his enemy.

"He did. He told me that you hadn't been living with Liv for almost two weeks."

 _What the hell?_ "Did he say why?"

"No, and I didn't push it."

"Look, it may come out, but yeah. Olivia and I have been going through some problems, and we were- we'd been separated while we tried to work through them."

"Is everything; I mean are you guy's okay now?"

"We'd be a lot better if she'd wake up." He said and forced a smile. "I just don't understand why he'd… You know what? I'm not gonna focus on why, but I'm just gonna tell you to be careful with what you're dealing with. Could he tell Amanda that most likely, Manny was most likely just using her because he thought it gave him some kind of leverage to get closer to Olivia? Sure he could, but he knew how women thought. He'd come off as jealous and that was something he did not want to deal with. Besides, she'd find out for herself that his brother is a lying, despicable, cheat.

"By any chance, did you send her flowers at work yesterday."

"No. Why?"

"Uh, she got flowers from somebody and up until just now, I thought it was you even though it didn't make sense."

"What didn't?"

"Well, she was really happy about them until she read the card, then her whole demeanor changed and she told me to throw them out. I'm sorry, I just thought that with her being pregnant, maybe her hormones were going crazy."

"Don't worry about it." He said just as her phone went off and she pulled it from her pocket to look at it.

"I gotta go, but I'll try to get back here to see Liv later. You take care." She said and Left, leaving Nick sitting down and wondering, though not for long.

"Puta!"

* * *

Casey had gotten off work just after 7:30 and she was hurrying to get to the hospital to see Olivia when her phone rang as she and her assigned police officer were headed to the car. She saw that it was Manny but decided to answer anyway.

"What?"

"I'm gonna give you one last chance to drop this. I didn't do what you said I did, and I want you to stop!"

"You're sorry, you know that? And even worse, you're sloppy. But I'm not taking chances, I got police protection. Twenty four-seven they'll be following me everywhere I go."

"You don't need them, not for protection from me-"

"Yeah, I think I'll keep them for the time being. But I have to go. Seriously. LOSE THE NUMBER!" She said and hung up. Immediately blocking his number from her phone before she put it away.

* * *

Monday came with no change. In spite of the tests that showed no visible damage to her brain, she was still unconscious and it worried Nick. What if Zara was right, what if she never woke up? She had been in the coma now for five days. What if, day after day, she just continued to sleep as her body grew weaker until she was nothing more than a incubator for their babies? He didn't like to think this way, but over the course of the last few days, when it was late or especially quiet, his mind sometimes took him to those places. Even if for a minute. Even if he'd tell himself, tell her that she'd be okay because he loved her; and because Zara loved her. And those babies were still there, growing stronger everyday and the four of them wouldn't let her eventually just die on them.

"We need you, baby." He said as the nurse cleared everything away and left after she had taken Olivia's vitals and checked the babies. "...I need you!" After fixing her covers, Nick sat down on the bed beside her. "So, Zara's coming today; she should be here and minute." He said, holding her hand.

After a day of telling the child that her mother was sleeping- Nick knew that he had to be straight with her and told her the truth of the situation.

" _Baby, mommy had an accident."_

He remembered he told her last Friday. She had so many questions, but she was a lot more understanding that he'd given her credit for. She didn't cry. He explained to her the best way he knew how and told her that they didn't know why, but for now, mommy was asleep and couldn't wake up.

" _Are the babies asleep, too?" She'd asked._

" _No sweetie. The babies are wide awake and I bet they'd love to hear their big sister's voice, telling them that she loves them."_

" _What about mommy? Can she hear my voice, too if I talk to her and tell her I love her?"_

Ever since then, his mom had brought Zara to the hospital every day for an hour and she'd sit and talk to Olivia, even if she couldn't reciprocate. She was just glad to be near her mom.

"I wanted to tell you what she's doing in school, but she insisted that she be the one to tell you; she thinks that it'll wake you up."

Suddenly the door to the room flew opened and Zara, followed by Caesarea, came in.

"Daddy!" Zara cried as she ran to Nick.

"Carino." He asked as she entered the room, bringing an immediate ray of sunshine. He just hugged her tight for a long moment, and kissed her cheek before he let her go. "Como estuvo la escuela hoy?"

"It was good. We learned about forests. I can't wait to tell mommy all about it! Then we drew pictures. I made one of mommy and you with the babies and me; see." She said as she held up the picture.

"Why are the babies lying on mommy if she's standing, honey? What's holding them up?"

"You're funny daddy!" She said laughing. "They're still in her tummy."

"Oh… I see it now." Nick said, feeling silly and forcing herself to smile, though he didn't feel like it. He just thanked god for Zara, or these last 2 weeks, he would've done nothing but sulk and cry; she's been his strength and she doesn't even know it.

She climbed up on Olivia's bed, picture in hand and started talking to her right away. "Mommy, guess what, I have a surprise for you…" She started as Nick and Caesarea stood to be the side watching her while they themselves talked.

"No change since this morning?"

"Her hand twitched again when Fin came by, but it was so fast; and you know the doctors, they say that it was most likely just involuntarily movement. But I know she's waking up."

"I know she will; it's just, every time I think about it...who would do something like this?" Nick was just about to speak when there was a knock at the door before Tucker came in.

"Tucker." Nick said from where stood. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello Mrs. Amaro. Detective, can I talk to you outside?"

"You found something?"

"It's better if we talk outside." He said. His expression unreadable. Nick looked back at his mom and Olivia before he went out.

...

"What's goin on?"

"Detective, I'm gonna need you to come with me; answer a few questions."

"About what?"

"Its sensitive information."

"Couldn't you ask me here? I can't leave my wi-"

"This is not the place to discuss this...and It's not a request."

"Not a request… What is this; You don't think that I did this?"

Nick stood for a long moment just looking at Tucker and he could not believe what was happening. His first thought was to knock him on his ass and be done with it but if he did that he wouldn't have a job. And with a home and a growing family to take care of, he fought the urge and went back to the room to get his jacket.

...

"¿Está todo bien?" Caesarea asked as he entered.

"It's fine mami." He said as he went to Olivia and kissed her face, then Zara's.

"Daddy, where are you going?"

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon baby." He whispered to her, then turned to Caesarea. "Mami, I'll be back shortly. Look after them."

"Of course I will, but where...?"

"I'll be back!" He said and walked out of the room for a second time. He and Tucker both looked back at the door before they turned around and began walking down the hallway towards the elevators.

* * *

"I need you to tell me what happened the day you said you found her." Tucker said as they sat in the interrogation room, with a camera that was set up to record.

"Why? I already explained it to the cops-"

"Please, amuse me."

Nick was beyond fed up at this point. Tucker had come to the hospital for him twenty minutes ago and the whole ride here, he hadn't said anything; they drove in very uncomfortable silence. Now, they had finally arrived at the precinct and after offering him coffee which he'd said _no_ to; they sat in this room, with Tucker looking like he'd found a new toy to play with. But Nick just wanted to answer any questions they had for him and get back to Olivia. And with a lengthy sigh, he began to recount what happened yesterday. "I- was out with Zara; probably since 12 or so."

"Noon?"

"Yeah, noon. We started home and got there around six thirty but I notice that the door was ajar when I went for my keys. I knew Olivia wasn't home yet- I thought, and so my next thought went to maybe a burglar."

"Now when you say, you didn't know she was home…"

"I didn't. I didn't find out until last night that Cragen had told her to take the day off, I wasn't expecting her until later. And when I saw the door open, I knew I had to get Zara to safety and so I took her to the neighbor."

"Mrs. Longstein?"

"Yes, it's in the report. Lieutenant, I don't get what this is about." He wasn't angry, just upset that he was here, in his room wasting time when Olivia was lying the hospital.

"You took Zara to Mrs. Longstein and then what?"

"I went back down the hall to our apartment; I drew my gun and I went inside. As I moved through the apartment, I called out for my wife-"

"How many times?"

"I don't know; maybe three or four?"

"You told the cops at the scene-" He opened a file that he was holding and read off a quote. "You called for her twice."

"I don't know, maybe I did."

"And when you called for her?"

"I didn't get an answer so I started to call for her again but by then-" He felt his tears. It was horrible.

 _He'd come past the kitchen and when he saw her. She was lying between the kitchen and the living room. At first he saw her legs, they were sticking out from behind the counter and her white dress was pushed up. Then he saw the rest of her. She was passed out with her head split open and lying in a pool of her own blood from her head and her nose; it was everywhere! He just remembered dropping to the floor in shock and wanting to hold her but calling for help on his phone._

"...that's when the cops and a few minutes later, the ambulance arrived." He said with tears running down his face that he quickly wiped away. "Why are you asking me all of this?"

"Because, we found out some things and we were sitting on them until the results came back from Detective Benson's rape kit."

"What things?"

"For starters...your wife is pregnant?"

"That's not a secret."

"And the babies are yours, I presume?"

"What are you getting at?"

"You wanna tell me why- The results from your wife's rape kit, they showed your fluids inside her."

"She's my wife…"

"As well as on her."

"What?"

He pulled out the rape kit results from the file. "The bruise on her cheek, you remember they swabbed it during her rape exam? Well, it turns out that it was your semen on her face and inside her. Along with bruising to her vagina and a tear."

"That's not;" He was shocked, to say the least. This was the first time he'd heard the results from the rape exam and he knew that he didn't… "What?!" Was all he could say. _Vaginal tearing and my semen on her face...? What the hell was going on? This had to be a joke; granted, we may have been a little rougher than we meant to be, but tearing?_

"It's in the report."

"The report is wrong!"

"So sure? Ripped panties, bloodied nose…"

"Ripped panties?" They just kept coming. "Are you suggesting I did this?"

"I'm not _suggesting_ anything, detective. I simply want you to tell me how, according to these test results, you brutalized your pregnant wife?! You know what I think, detective Amaro? I think that you raped and beat your wife and then caused her to cut her head on the counter."

"You're insane!"

"Am I? Then explain to me."

"I can't explain to you because I wasn't there! Don't you get what's right in front of you?"

"Why don't you tell me. What's in front of me, detective?

"Somebody assaulted my wife and you're sitting here actually suggesting I did it!"

"Really?" He said as he pulled more papers from the file and sat them on the table, pushing them towards Nick. "...your wife recently had a paternity test done on the fetuses?"

Nick was dumbfounded. Where did Tucker get these results?" There was only one copy of them that he knew of and he had left that copy with... "Where did you get these?"

"We found them, crumpled up, not far from where she was lying."

 _That bastard was there! He was there and he caused this accident! He did this! He slapped her, he hit her, he made her hit her head!_ Nick sat there and tried to remain as calm as when he'd come in here. He had to remain calm. Forget the fact that he was raging inside! _I'm gonna kill him!_ He looked at Tucker. The man was waiting for a response. "And of course, you think I put them there."

"Did you? Look, Amaro I know how it is. The wife tells you she's pregnant only to find out that she was cheating, and the baby might not be yours. You've been loyal to her and you got angry and upset to the point where even after she showed you proof that you're the father, you couldn't take her lies and you snapped."

"No." He wanted to scream! To hit something. He began looking at the clock on the wall and then at Tucker.

"You raped her, and you beat the crap out of her from all that frustration and then you rammed her head into that counter. You just left her there. But then you thought about your little girl; how would you explain to her that her mother was dead?"

"You're sick!"

"So you went back and you called 911. Is that how it happened? I can help you if you confess!"

"As far as I knew, my wife was at work. I even left before she did this morning. So you tell me how I supposedly did any of this when I wasn't there? Now if you're finished, and I'm not under arrest, I'd like to get back to my wife and daughter!"

"Don't leave town, detective." Tucker warned as Nick got up and left. He opened the door to the interrogation room, barely able to keep his breathing steady. But it was hard with the tears that wouldn't stop stinging his eyes, and a few of them fell. He was going to kill Manny! _It all made sense; that's how his DNA ended up on Olivia's face, how her panties-_ He was going to be sick as he ducked into the men's room and threw up.

...

He looked at the various officers that he passed in the hall on his way to the elevators. _Keep calm, Nick!_ He told himself by how could he? He finally got there and got on the first one that came. And as it closed, he thanked god that he was alone on it as he walked to the back where the bar was on the wall. He almost let loose when he suddenly remembered the cameras in these elevators and caught himself. _I'm gonna kill him!_

 _..._

Later when he'd gotten downstairs and off the elevator. He was walking outside of 1PP, hurrying at lightening speed to get to his car. All he could see was Manny's dead body and he wanted to make that a reality. The sooner, the better. Right now, he wasn't thinking about his wife who was lying in a coma, or his daughter who was the absolute light of his life and needed him. No, he didnt think about his mother, or his job. His vision was pinpointed on one thing and that was getting his hands on Manny!

He finally reached his silver SUV, fumbling in his pockets for his keys. He finally found them and quickly unlocked the door and got in the car when his phone rang. If he hadn't remembered that the hospital might be calling, or that his mother was currently at the hospital, he probably wouldn't have answered.

"Yes, Amaro… Mami, mami slow down! Qué estas diciendo? ...what? No, no, estaré allí en diez minutos!" He said and hung up quick, shutting the door and driving off!

* * *

 **TBC… I know, I know. A review would be lovely though.**


	35. A Man, And His Delusions

**Chapter 35. Sorry for the wait.**

* * *

.

The whole drive there, Nick thought the worst. _What if…_ He started but quickly cut himself off. No, she had to be okay. There was no way around it. "Damn you, Tucker for making me leave her!" He screamed, punching the steering wheel. His mother didn't say what was going on, she was so busy crying. All she said was he needed to get there, now!

But if Olivia had...what would he tell Zara? He could see it in her eyes every time she came to visit. She tried to be brave and look happy, and she always was whenever she got to come and spend time with Olivia, but she missed her mom. She missed having her to wake up to, and give her baths and do her hair. And if she couldn't come home because of work, she'd always find a quiet spot, no matter what was going on in the office, and they'd talk right before bedtime. Zara would tell her all about her day and Olivia would tell her a bedtime story. It had only been five days so far, but Zara missed her so much, and Nick felt terrible that he couldn't fix it for her; that he couldn't put them both at ease by having Olivia wake up. And now, he was faced with the possibility that she wouldn't; that maybe in the time her was gone, answering those ridiculous questions…

He ran his hand down his face. "I'm gonna kill that sonofabitch!" He didn't know then, but it was so clear now. Olivia was crying that day because she knew what he'd done to her; she was crying because he was there and it was the only way to express it. That bastard terrorized his wife and the whole time, he was oblivious to it. But he couldn't give that any thought right now. Right now, he had to get to Olivia, that was his focus and he sped up to get there.

...

He got to the hospital and sprinted for the elevators, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. He couldn't get upstairs fast enough and every floor that the elevator passed was like torture. Finally, the elevator landed on four and he nearly knocked two people down when he got off. Crashing into them and knocking the woman's purse to the floor, he was rushing to get to Olivia's room so fast.

"I'm sorry." He said as he picked up the bag, and handed it to the wrong woman. He literally ran down the hall, a million thoughts running through his mind.

"What happened? Where's Zara?" He asked his mother nervously as he approached her.

"She's with the nurse, taking a walk around the hospital. Nicolas, you won't-" she started as the doctor came out of Olivia's room and went straight to him.

"Doc...?" He asked the Doctor, nervously.

"Mr. Amaro, your wife...we didn't see it coming."

" _...didn't see it coming?_ Didn't see what coming? What are you-?"

"She's gone... I'm so sorry!"

Nick very quickly shook off his imagination and turned to his mother. He hadn't heard one word she'd said past 'nanny' and now, he looked at her, talking but no sound coming from her mouth. Then he looked back at Olivia's room. _What if the doctor was actually trying to save her? What if she were dying right at this mo-"_

"Nicolas?" Caesarea called to him when it was obvious that he was no longer present. "NICOLAS!"

"I'm sorry...I-"

Just then, the doctor came from Olivia's room, and Nick and Caesarea got quiet. "Mr. Amaro, we think your wife may be coming out of it."

"Gracias a Dios!" Caesarea immediately began thanking god, praying in Spanish, while Nick stood there for a moment just absorbing the doctor's words.

"She's not fully awake yet, but she has shown movement. Her eyes and hands, and she's spoken a few words."

"Could you make them out?"

"They were along the line of; 'Please don't… Why are you doing this?' Sometimes patients can be confused when they're just coming out of such a state.

"She wasn't confused…" He thought, angrily and with tears in his eyes, then just as quickly, he pushed it aside and decided to focus on his wife. She was all that mattered right now and he knew right there that he had to stop. "Did she say anything else?"

"Just _Nick_. But, I'm afraid after that, she didn't say more.

Nick didn't think of anything else in that moment and immediately turned to the doctor. "Can I be with her? I need to-"

"Of course you can. We'll be monitoring her very closely, but it looks good."

"Mami, would you call…?"

"I'll take care of it, go!" She said before Nick kissed her and ran into the room. He got to the chair and pulled it close to her bed before he sat down and held her hand.

"You're coming back to us." He cried as he kissed her hand. "and I am never leaving you again. I know what that bastard- Manny did this to you; and I swear he won't get away with it; I swear!"

* * *

"Really? That's great." Though he didn't feel too great about it. He could see it now: she'd wake up, fully, and Nick would be there. He'd be the only person there, telling her what to think, what to feel, and she would be brainwashed into believing that he was some kind of hero, when Manny's reality said that he wasn't a hero. _I mean, so what if he found her and got her to the hospital; that was the plan. He doesn't get points for sticking to the plan!_

"When you go to the hospital-"

"I haven't talked to Nick; I don't think I'm exactly welcome at the hospital."

"What do you mean? Manny, you're right there, in New York City." Vida said.

"I know, I just…"

"You just…?"

"Look, don't tell mami!"

"Oh god!"

" _Oh god?_ What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm about to hear something crazy! I know you, baby brother. Anytime you start something with _dont tell mami,_ I worry." And she did. Manny was her heart but he had a tendency to do things that sometimes caught her off guard. Still, she loved him and as the only person he had that he could tell these things to, she would listen, even if she didn't agree and try to talk some sense into him. But this; she didn't know what she was in for with this confession.

"I've been carrying this around for so long, I feel like I'm going crazy. Vida, you're the only one I can trust."

"Con que? Qué está pasando, Manny? Háblame."

"Nick and I have been fighting; I'm in love with someone and he doesn't exactly agree…"

* * *

"Hey, how's Zara doing?" Nick said into his phone to his mother, while he sat at Olivia's bedside.

"She's quiet." She said, looking back at Zara, who was sitting on the couch, in front of the TV, and curled up with her unicorn. "She's trying, but she's not doing so good adjusting to the way things are."

"Can you put her on?" There was a long pause before he heard Zara's voice on the other end of the line.

"Hi daddy."

"Hey, princess. You sound tired."

"Daddy, why did I have to leave the hospital? Is mommy okay?"

"Mommy's fine, baby! I promise!"

"Then why did I have to leave?"

"Well, you know how we agreed to only an hour on schooldays."

"I know, but can't I come back, just for a little while longer?" She said as she started to cry.

"Zara; baby, don't…" He started to tell her, not to cry when he heard the tears in her voice, but it was already too late.

"I miss mommy so much!" She was full on wailing now, and Nick felt like shit. His baby girl needed both her parents, and he couldn't be there to comfort her, and it drove him to shed tears too. She had played the brave girl for four days now, but being just five years old, she'd taken all she could take, and now she was coming apart. _She didn't understand any of this_. He thought as she put the phone down and turned to her grandmother, who took her in her arms while she cried.

"Nicky…" Caesarea said as she picked up the phone while holding Zara. "Go, she'll be alright." She said Softly while she rocked Zara.

"Mami…"

"It's okay Carino." She said before she hung up the phone. Nick sat there for a second, watching Olivia, then got up and paced around the room.

All of this was Manny's fault! His wife lying in a coma, his baby girl in tears because of it and him being pulled away, questioned by Tucker, like a fucking perp! He wanted to scream. To break something! He wanted to-

"Amaro…" He heard in a familiar man's voice. It came strong, firm and couldn't be at a more inappropriate time. He'd just left this fucker, and here he was, back again.

"What? What do you want this time?"

"Step out into the hallway, please."

"Why?"

"Oblige me."Tucker commanded. Nick took a look back at Olivia, before he walked out into the hall. Tucker didn't even give him a chance to speak before he was on him.

"What the hell?" Nick yelled as Tucker quickly took out the cuffs.

"Nicolas Amaro, you have the right to remain silent-" As he put the handcuffs on Nick.

"You're arresting me?"

"Surprise, surprise. We just got a warrant."

"You can't do this!"

"Oh, we can, and we are...if you give up that right, anything you say can, and will be used against you!" and he started to walk down the hall, with Nick in tow. "You have the right to an attorney…"

* * *

"What do you mean he's been arrested? For what?" Caesarea asked Trish Donovan, Nick's attorney.

"That's what I'm on my way to find out. But Nick asked that I call you and tell you not to Worry."

"Not worry? Is he crazy? He's been arrested on god only knows what charges, and he expects me not to worry?"

"I'll fight like hell to get him in to see a judge today. But if not, it'll be early tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?!"

"Mrs. Amaro, it'll be alright. I've gotta go down to the jail, I'll call and let you know what happens. But in the meantime, Nick wanted me to ask you to please, don't talk about this with anyone, not even his siblings."

"But why?"

"He said he'd explain it to you later." She said before she hung up.

* * *

He knew that he should be thinking of Olivia, but he couldn't stop his mind from going back to Manny. He was lucky that he could call Fin and have him go to the hospital to be with Olivia. The last thing he wanted was for her to wake up and not have a familiar face, and god forbid, Manny should sneak in again! He was the reason Nick was in this mess and now, unless Olivia could wake up and tell them what was going on, he was in a whole lot of trouble.

"Amaro- your lawyer is here!" The corrections officer said as he unlocked the cell and escorted Nick down the hall.

"I'm supposed to be handcuffed." Nick said when they got further away from the holding cell.

"Sue me!" I don't know what happened, but I'll bet my pension you didn't do it. You're getting a raw rap from those sum bitches at IAB! and I'll swear to that in court!" He said as he came to a room and let Nick in.

"Are you alright?" His attorney said as she looked him over.

"I'm fine. I just need you to get me outta here so I can get back to my wife."

"You'll see the judge and hopefully be out no later than tomorrow morning. Amaro, what the hell happened?"

* * *

"How the hell could you let this happen?"

D.A. Barnes has expected Casey to be angry about Nick's arrest, but he didn't expect that she would slam his door so hard that the frames on his wall would shake and some of them would fall down. "Hello to you too." He said as he turned around in his desk chair and picked up two of the frames that fell from his wall.

"I can't go to court and ask the judge to keep him locked up. And a restraining order for his wife?!"

"You know as well as I do that we can't allow personal feelings to get in the way of our jobs."

"He's being accused of rape and assault, Jason, he didn't do this! I know Nick Amaro, he would never hurt a woman, much less his wife!

"We follow the facts, and the facts say he did!"

"The facts are wrong! And if you'd just wait, give Detective Benson time to wake up…"

"It's too late for that. Casey, the law is the law! And until we have further evidence to go on, the evidence we have, says that Nick Amaro, raped and tried to kill his wife! Now whether or not he's guilty...a jury will have to work that out."

"Or his wife."

"His wife who's in a coma?" Casey looked off, unable to look her superior in the face. She thought of telling him what she knew about Manny, make him see that this was all a misunderstanding. But she also knew that they couldn't build a case on hearsay. Which. in reality, until Olivia woke up, was all this was. "Casey, this office can't ignore the evidence."

"No, I suppose we can't." She agreed, but feeling so completely useless at that moment.

* * *

The next morning…

"Okay. don't be nervous. This should go quickly."

"What if the judge doesn't let me out on bail? Trish, I can't spend another day in here, my wife, my daughter…"

"Listen to me. You are walking out of here today. I'm sorry that I couldn't get you arraigned for night court, but we're here this morning, I don't want you to worry."

"Easier said than done."

"You'll do fine." She said as her phone rang. "I gotta take this. Hi sweetie…"

* * *

Meanwhile, at the hospital in Liv's room...

"P-please d-don't touch m-me!" She stuttered through tears. She was cowering against the bed, so confused. She didn't understand why she had woken up here or why these nurses and the doctor were around her, not making sense as she held the covers that were pulled up to her chest. "Wh-where is my husband, I w-want N-Nick!" And why was she talking like this?

"Mrs. Amaro, please, if you'll just calm-" The doctor started but Olivia cut him right off. She was scared and crying. There was so much she didn't comprehend right now and she just wanted someone familiar.

"F-Fin…"

"It's okay Liv." He said, stepping forward. "You're alright baby, you're in a hospital."

"W-why am I h-here? I d-don't… I don't…" She was struggling to remember the word _understand,_ but she couldn't.

"Baby girl, you had an accident. Do you remember?"

"A-accident? I-I don't…"

"You split your head pretty good." He said as she sat there trying to take it all in.

"My head?" She said, touching the area that it had taken ten stitches to close. "The counter…"

"That's right. You've been out for six days." He said as she started to remember.

"M-my babies!" She cried as her hands clutched her stomach, feeling for signs of life.

"It's alright, Mrs. Amaro, your babies are fine. But we need to check you out, to see if…" The doctor said but Olivia's mind began to take her back, and though it came very patchy, she started to recall some things.

" _Nick…I love you so much!" She breathed as he took her. "Baby, I'm so sorry… Oh god!" She cried as they were face to face, sideways and he thrusted into her hard before turning them so that he was on top._

"Liv?" Fin called...

 _Then the following morning…_

 _"No. Nick the test results" She said, trying to calm herself, but she was so excited; so relieved. If ever she felt like crying, like jumping off a damn building and back, it was now! "They're yours; these babies are yours!"_

 _She remembered unwrapping the a box that had been delivered to her, and finding two baby rattles inside. Then reading the note and seeing who they were from. She remembered going to the trash shoot to throw them out and walking back to her apartment._

 _"Wh- how did you get in here?" She wondered aloud and a bit scared._

 _"...It'll be quick." He stated, totally nonchalant as he dug around and she squirmed at the intrusion. His fingers found what he was looking for and withdrew, holding them up in front of her; they were coated in Nick's cum. She looked at his hand for a moment, thinking what a sick fuck he is as she fought against him, trying hard to break free and trying not to cry. "You lied to me!" He said as he back slapped her across the face with that same hand, so hard that her head whipped to one side._

"M-Manny!"

"It's alright. You want me to call him?" Fin asked.

"He did th-this to me!" She cried.

* * *

 **TBC… Please leave a review.**


	36. Reunions And Confessions

**Chapter 36**

* * *

.

As Nick came up into the hall from the lockup, he looked around, surprised to see his mother sitting there, and he felt ashamed. He wasn't supposed to be be here. Not like this. Not in chains! He was on the other side of the law, and now…

"I can only allow a couple of minutes." The burly corrections officer whispered kindly from where he stood beside Nick. Then stepping back to give him a few feet.

His mother immediately threw her arms around him, tears straying her face as she did.

"Mami, where's Zara?" He whispered as he kissed her cheek, hugging her tightly, and then broke away from her.

"She didn't feel like going to school today, so after I got her situated with the sitter, I had to come down and make sure that you're okay. Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, but you don't need to be here."

"Soy tu madre, por supuesto tengo que estar aquí!"

"Y Olivia? Como es ella?"

"I don't know, I haven't heard anything. But I'm on my way there in a little while. Oh, nena, lo siento mucho!" She said, looking up and caressing his face and hair. It killed her to see him going through this, especially with Olivia in the hospital. But still, in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd done this. The thought that he had become his father, that scared her more than anything. Nicolas Senior was a bastard! Plain and simple. And maybe she kept him around for too long. Maybe by the time Nick was fifteen, when his father finally left, maybe his influence...

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry, I gotta take him." The guard apologized as he came over.

"Mami, go to the hospital, please. And please don't talk about this to anyone. Please."

"Not even your brother? He can proba-"

"Especially not him!" He said and hugged her. "I love you!" He said as they disappeared behind the doors they came through.

* * *

"What was so important, that I had to rush down here?" Casey said to Fin as she and her security got off the elevator. "Thanks, Wooder. You can wait here."

"Yes ma'am!" The cop said and assumed attention at the elevator as Fin and Casey walked down the corridor to Olivia's room.

"Please don't tell me Olivia-"

"She's awake!"

"What?"

"She just...came out of it a little while ago."

"How does she seem?"

"She seems fine. A little out of it at first, but once she got her surroundings… But that's not the reason I called you."

"You mean other than the fact that my best friend is finally out of her coma?" She quipped, sarcastically.

"That too. But listen, the doctors are with her now but Case, I haven't had the heart to tell her that Nick's been arrested. Not only that, but she's been saying some really wild stuff, and I'm not sure if it's the coma talking." He said as they took a seat in the chairs outside her room.

"Stuff like what?"

"You know Nick's brother, Manny? She says he put her here. _"He did this to me!"_ To be exact."

"You didn't prompt her?"

"No. And I figured, if we're dealing with a situation here. I need you to take her statement if she has one."

Casey was busy looking in through the tiny glass panel on the side of the door at Olivia. _If he only knew!_ She thought. _Maybe they could finally put all of this to an end, especially once Olivia found out about Nick being arrested. Still, she couldn't believe it; Manny put her here? In addition to raping her, he did this?_

"Counselor?" Fin called when he realized that she was off in her own head.

"No. No, you're absolutely right. I'll call down to the courthouse and see if I can get Nick's case pushed back a bit. Hopefully we can get down there before it has a chance to be called." She said as she took her cell phone from her pocket.

* * *

At Manny's hotel…

"That's right, A-m-a-r-o. Olivia Amaro. I just want to see how she's doing. Is she still the same? ...this is her brother, Emmanuel… She what? ...awake? Since whe- this morning. Well, how is she? That's all the information you have… No... No… Thank you." He said and ended the call, tossing the phone down on the nightstand. "Shit!" He said as he ran his hands through his hair. _Nick's probably telling her what to say, even as I'm sitting here. And when she tells his story to the police…_ "DAMMIT!" he said out loud, then sniffed the remainder of the cocaine that was on the mirror, on the nightstand, rubbing his gums with the residue. "Okay!" He said as he stood and looked around his bedroom.

After talking with that nurse, he knew he had to move. _I gotta get out of here!_ And he had to do it fast! If there was one thing he knew about his brother, it was that Nick held a grudge like nobody's business. And right now, he'd felt that Manny had wronged him! He looked around the room once again, and when he couldn't remember what he was looking for in his cocaine induced state, he gave up and went to the closet to begin packing his things. _No time to waste!_

* * *

"Easy." The nurse said as she walked Olivia back to her bed after she'd taken a shower and a asked her hair. She was still a bit shaky, not having used her legs in six days and she needed a walker for support, but she was quickly making strides.

"Could I possibly go to the armchair? I've been in that bed for six days…"

"I don't see why not. Just take it slow."

"I'm not a invalid!" She suddenly snapped at the nurse, then quickly reeled herself in. "I'm sorry." She apologized, getting teary. "This is all so crazy…" She said as she sat and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"It's okay. What you came through, it's nothing to laugh at."

"I lost almost an entire week. And my husband...my daughter…" She cried.

"I'll put in another call to see where they are. In the meantime" She said as she draped a blanket over Olivia's lap. "While you're waiting for them, you've got two other little people that haven't heard your voice in a week."

"They've gotten so big." Olivia said, looking down as she caressed her small belly, tears still flowing. She thanked god when she woke up and the doctor told her that they were still there. The accident hadn't hurt them, and for that, she was so grateful; even if she was starting to feel incredibly nauseous as she closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

"You alright?"

"The doctor said the nausea could come back, but I didn't think she meant so soon!"

"Are you having any other symptoms; headache? Change in eyesight?"

"No. Just the nausea, thank god."

"If you need it, there's a pail right beside you. Here's the call button if you need us, though I'm sure another doctor will be in soon. I'm gonna go make that call, you keep calm and I'll send for something to help your stomach." The nurse said before she walked out to Fin and Casey in the hall. Casey immediately interrogating the poor woman. They'd waited through two doctors and while they were so thankful that Olivia was okay, she needed to free Nick!

* * *

At Nick & Olivia's apartment...

"How about, we… Play Chutes & Ladders; it's your favorite." The sitter said to Zara, but Zara just gave her a sad look, no words as she shook her head 'no.' "What about scrabble?" Again, she shook her head as she sank against the pillows on the couch and turned her little body away so that she was facing them, and she curled up with her unicorn.

Denise looked at her for a moment, wanting to say something to make Zara happy, but she knew it was a losing battle. The little girl was miserable. She missed her mother so terribly, and Denise knew that there wasn't much she could say. Instead, she ran her hand down Zara's long, black hair before she got up, and went to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher. She was in the kitchen for a couple minutes when the front door opened and Caesarea walked in.

"Zara, look. Grandma's back." Denise said, but Zara just raised her head up to take a look, and then lay back down against the pillows.

"Still no change?" Caesarea asked Denise, in a near-whisper.

"Couldn't get her to do anything. She wouldn't even play." Denise said as she looked over at the child. Caesarea stood there for a moment before she walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa beside Zara, who was turned away. She knew just what would make her feel better.

"So, how about we go to the hospital to see mommy?" Zara immediately turned over to face her grandmother, though still lying against the pillows, staring at her. "Estaba pensando que podrías pasar el día."

"Can I?" Zara asked, so happy she looked like she would burst.

"Of course you can."

"Abuelita!" She cried, throwing herself into Caesarea's arms and Caesarea hugged her tight, so thankful that she could finally make her smile. "I love you so much, you're the best grandma!"

"You're welcome baby. Why don't you go and pick something to wear, I'll be in in a minute."

"Okay." She said and ran into her room, singing that she's going to see her mommy, amid Caesarea and Denise laughing. If only any of them had known that Olivia was wide awake!

* * *

"We were so worried about you!" Casey said as she came into Olivia's room.

"It'll take more than a blow to the head to take me out."

"Though you got a pretty nice scar to show for it."

"The doctor says it shouldn't leave much of one when the stitches come out… Please, tell me you know where Nick is. I've been asking and no one seems to know-"

"Listen to me" Casey said as she took a seat in the other chair and spoke to Olivia in a calm voice, even though inside, she was anything but. "Honey, I hate to hit you with this now, you have to believe me when I say this, but you have got to tell what Manny did to you!"

"I already said too much to Fin." She said, remembering the day that Manny came into her room, how completely powerless she was to stop him. She had to lie there while he molested her and the memory made her shake.

"Liv…"

"Casey...I can't."

"Not even for Nick?" That caught Olivia's attention, and she looked to Casey for an explanation. "He's been arrested, Liv."

"Arrested? That doesn't make sense, why would-"

"He had them do an exam when you got here. The results came back showing his fluids in and on you- they've arrested him for your rape and assault! And I know you don't want to; hell I know how this makes you feel, but Liv you have to give a statement, because right now, you are the only person who can get him out of this!"

* * *

"Abuela, can I take my unicorn to the hospital for mommy?"

"You want to part with it?" Caesarea asked as she finished brushing Zara's hair up into a ponytail.

"I can be without her for a little while."

"Well, I think that's a wonderful idea. Why don't you go and put your brush away and we'll get going?"

* * *

As Olivia sat giving Casey an official statement about everything that happened between she and Manny, Casey was shocked to tears. She'd known about the rape, but she had no idea of what happened the day of Olivia's accident, though Olivia didn't tell her that he had gotten into the hospital and basically raped her while she was lying comatose; a coma that he put her in. She couldn't come to terms with any of it, but especially that and so as painful as it was, she kept it inside.

She tearfully recounted how Nick's DNA ended up on her, and that it was in her because they'd been intimate the night before.

 _"Just go!" She begged feeling his hand under her dress and on her thigh. She started to struggle again as she felt it going higher. "Manny, stop-" She said as his hand began tearing at her panties. "Stop!" But he responded by pushing two fingers into her, digging them in deep. "You're hurting me!"_

 _"It'll be quick." He stated, totally nonchalant as he dug around and she squirmed at the intrusion. His fingers found what he was looking for and withdrew, holding them up in front of her; they were coated in Nick's cum. She looked at his hand for a moment, thinking what a sick fuck he is as she fought against him, trying hard to break free and trying not to cry. "You lied to me!" He said as he back slapped her across the face with that same hand, so hard that her head whipped to one side._

 _"Manny ple-" She started but he gabbed her by the neck and slapped her even harder, letting her fall to the floor._

 _"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU MAKE ME DO?!" He screamed over her as she tried to get up, holding her stomach._

She told Casey that he'd intended to rape her again, but that he caused her to slip. "The next thing I knew, I woke up here." She cried. "Casey, you've gotta clear Nick. Manny's the one who deserves to be in jail!"

"Don't worry, he will be!" She said as she called Fin.

"Tutuola."

"Fin, pick him up."

"You're sure?"

"Oh, I'm sure. And Fin, if he resists, break his arm!"

* * *

After Casey had left for the courthouse, Olivia sat in her room, looking out the window, in tears. She had just told her secret, and soon, everyone would know about her affair with Manny. "It's worth it." She said while caressing her bump. "Your daddy is coming home and I swear I'm gonna do everything in my power to see to it that he stays there!" She said, just as Caesarea walked into the room with Zara, who was carrying her unicorn. When they didn't see Olivia…

"They must have taken her for some tests." But when Olivia heard the voice, she immediately called out from where she sat on the couch.

"Caesarea?" When Zara heard that voice, she dropped her unicorn and ran to Olivia, screaming.

"MOMMY?!"

"Zara!" Olivia cried as she took her baby in her arms.

"You came back!" Zara cried, both of them in tears. Caesarea just stood there, thanking god as she watched Olivia with her granddaughter, seeing how happy Zara was, how happy Olivia was, as they both cried and Zara kissed Olivia's face and held her tight.

* * *

Later, as Fin walked into Manny's hotel…

"Excuse me" Fin said to the desk clerk who turned around.

"How can I help you?" Said the man.

"I'm looking for Emmanuel Amaro."

"I'm sorry, but you just missed him by an hour or so."

"Did he say where he was going?

"I'm afraid you misunderstand, Mr. Amaro checked out this morning. Said he had a plane to catch."

"Dammit! Did he say which airport?"

"I don't see just how that's any of your business!" The desk clerk replied. He didn't like the look of the man, something about him was just too rough.

"Look" Fin said impatiently, showing off his badge. "...tell us, which airport he went to, don't make me arrest your ass for obstructing justice!"

The desk clerk took a moment to collect himself, looking around at the guests that passed by, and straightening his tie. He also cleared his throat before speaking again. "He asked me to find flights to Miami, leaving early this morning, and I found him a flight at LaGuardia."

"Has it left?"

"In 30 minutes." He said, but Fin was already out the door and on his phone.

"Yeah, get me security at LaGuardia!"

* * *

At the hospital, Olivia was on the couch with Zara, fast asleep in her lap and covered by the blanket that was thrown across Olivia. She slept so peacefully in her mother's arms, and Olivia just held her, looking at her and kissing her face and hand.

"Are you sure she's not too heavy? I can take her." Caesarea offered but Olivia was stern.

"She's okay." She said, smiling as she looked down at Zara, who turned in her arms, burying her head against Olivia's chest, and continuing to sleep.

"She really had a rough night last night, you can't tell now though, she looks so at ease. You look at ease too."

Olivia smiled as tears came, and she quickly wiped them away. Sitting here thinking about her little family; Zara, the babies and Nick. And then thinking bigger- Caesarea, Nick's sisters, his grandparents; his father. They'll all know soon enough, every detail. Whether from her lips or Manny's, they'll know. She put it out there, in order to save Nick from the mess she created in the first place and now they'd be arresting Manny, Nick's own brother and she didn't know by she felt like this was all karma coming back to bite her big time, only, she wasn't the only person it was dragging down with her! Nick's will be humiliated when her affair hits open air; they all will, even her own little makeshift family at the station.

"Caesarea; I need to talk to you." She was so fidgety as she took another look at her beautiful little girl, who was sleeping in her arms, but turned her attention to her mother-in-law. And she continued with tears in her eyes. "Nick um; I…"

"Nina,what is it?" She asked so sweetly, but in her mind, she already knew. She was going to tell her what really happened with Nick. Why he was really in jail but she already knew, or at least she thought she did; he'd beat Olivia. Probably had for a long time now and she just wondered why she never saw the signs. _Dios mio, he's just like his father!_ She thought as tears came to her eyes. She tried so hard after Nicolas Sr. left, to make sure her boys wouldn't become him, and honestly she didn't think she needed to with Nick. He had grown up seeing everything his father had done to her. All the beatings, the yelling; the degrading. And now, he'd gone and done it to Olivia and she wondered, _was it Maria, too?_ It was too much for her to take in. Olivia was pregnant, and Caesarea knew that with her age and medical condition, it wasn't easy for her, yet somehow, she managed twins and he did this to her? She was so angry, but what could she do? Nick was the man in his house, his way, his rules. What had Olivia done to push him there?

Olivia gave Zara a final kiss before she gently lay her down on the sofa and covered her with the blanket, then slowly tried to get up with her walker.

"Nina, you can't be ashamed to ask for help." Caesarea said as she quickly came to her aid and helped her up. "We're family, and family is always here for you, don't forget that. Where to?"

"Just the bed; and thank you" Olivia said. "I just didn't want Zara to take in what…" She continued as they reached the bed and Olivia sat down to get in. "You're gonna hear a lot concerning my hospitalization and…" She tried to go on, but the more she thought about it... _no, you have to tell her!_ Reluctantly, wiping her tears, she soldiered on. "Please don't hate me!"

"What, why would I hate you?"

"Because there are things that happened with your son- things that I'm ashamed of and they're what got me here."

"Lo se todo acerca de eso." Caesarea said quietly, wishing that she didn't, especially looking at Olivia's face. The shock at wondering how she knew, and the pain of admitting it. How could he put her through this?

"He told you." She cried, feeling so low. "I wanted it to stop after the first time but it just kept happening. And then Nick found out…"

"Wait, Nick found out? I'm confused, you said "my son" I don't…"

But Olivia sat there, knowing that this would be the end of her relationship with Caesarea; the end of her relationship with his whole family but there was no turning back. Manny was going to jail and she had to do this! So with serious trepidation, she took a shaky breath and started to tell her everything.

* * *

 **TBC… How about a review?**


	37. Telling Nick

**Chapter 37**

* * *

.

"Where is he?" Nick asked angrily as he and Casey left the courthouse.

"Nick, you've got to calm down."

"Calm dow- that bastard raped my wife and went for it a second time but he knocked into a coma. I will not calm down!" He yelled, pacing in a small, tight circle. He was beyond furious and at the same time, he felt so much sadness, it hurt his heart. His wife, his love, his everything! She went through this all on her own, and because of the issues they were having, didn't feel that she could tell him. But then for Manny to try again, and almost kill her?

"I know you want to be angry, you probably want to kill your brother-"

"He is NOT my brother!"

"Fine. But Nick, think about Olivia; it was absolute hell for her to tell me this and she probably won't be able to face you. Manny's being arrested, so please, let us handle this. Go to your wife and tell her this will be alright. She'll act like she doesn't, but she needs to hear that." She watched him as he pinched the bridge between his eyes and let out a long, deep breath.

"I didn't get a chance to thank you." He said when he calmed a bit.

"You don't need to thank me. Just go to Olivia and reassure her, and please, let us handle Manny." She said as the ADA came out of the building.

"Novak, I'll see you back at the office. Detective Amaro, again, I'm so sorry for what we almost put you through. It really was me following orders."

"Don't worry about it." And he shook her hand. "I'm gonna get going."

"Keep calm." Casey said to Nick as he got into a cab. Then as he was pulling off… "God, please don't let him ruin this."

* * *

She had told her everything. Shamefully and in tears, she lay her cards out, starting with the fact that she'd had a brief affair with Manny. An affair she'd regretted as soon as it happened, but Caesarea gave no outward response through all of it. But when she got to she and Nick's falling out over it, and then the rape…

"He… Oh my god!" Caesarea said as she got up from where she sat on the bed, and just like Nick, began pacing in a small, tight circle.

"When I showed up at your house that Sunday morning, wearing that sweater…I was covering the bruises I'd gotten the night before when he…"

"I can't believe this!"

"I couldn't tell anybody; who would believe me, for one? I had Nick so angry with me already, and I couldn't face all of you. I couldn't tell you all that he had done this to me and when he came to my apartment last week…" She had to collect herself at this point, and she quickly wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "He hit me, twice and knocked me to the ground. He'd already… He was about to do it again, but I tried to run away and he grabbed me… I woke up here, to find that Nick had been arrested for what Manny did.

 _Manny. My baby. It wasn't Nick at all; so she says. But Manny could never- no, this has to be a lie. He wouldn't do this!_ She thought as she eyed Olivia from where she stood."You want me to believe that my son, my baby boy could do something so...vile?" To say that Olivia was taken aback by Caesarea's words; she'd just sat here, baring her soul to this woman. Was she really accusing Olivia of lying?

"It's the truth." Olivia said, keeping her voice down but Caesarea was beyond upset. "and I'm only telling you this because he's being arrested. Caesarea, I didn't wanna do this!"

"You're accusing my son of rape! Rape, Olivia!"

"I know-"

"You don't know! Manny is the sweetest boy; he could never do anything like… You'll tell the DA you made a mistake."

"I can't do that." It came as a whisper, through tears and almost unintelligible. "He raped me." She said louder. "He almost cost me my babies, twice, and I can't; no, I won't let him get away with it any-"

"Stop it! Just stop, do you hear me?! Manny is your brother, he's Nick's brother and he's a good, decent man. Do you really want to hurt Nick like this? To have him thinking that his brother…? I can't listen to this anymore!" She said, and went over to the couch to wake Zara.

"What are you doing?"

"Estoy despertando a mi nieto y me voy! Zara, baby, wake up."

"You can't take her!" Olivia said as she brought her legs around and shakily forced herself up, leaning on the bedrail.

"Watch me!" Caesarea said.

"You can't; I'm her mother!" She wanted so much to take a step, to go to her daughter. But she was feeling so weak, and she knew that if she took that step she'd fall, so she stood there leaning on the wall by her bed, trying to hold herself up.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Zara sleepily asked as she woke up.

"Zee, baby, come here." Olivia said reaching out to her, but as Zara started to go to her, Caesarea stopped her.

"No, we're leaving. Say goodbye, Zara!"

"But I want to stay with mommy."

"Zara, por favor haz lo que te digo. Let's go."

"But grandma-" Suddenly Nick entered the room, and all he could see was Olivia. She was standing, looking so frail and he rushed over to her.

"Baby, what are you doing?" He asked as Olivia collapsed against him, unable to hold herself up anymore. She didn't know why, but at that moment, her emotions were so raw and when she saw Nick, they only grew and she just let loose there in his arms, weeping uncontrollably. "Hey, it's alright. I'm here now, it's okay!" He said, their arms wrapped tightly around each other, not wanting to let go. Zara just stood there; she didn't fully understand what she was looking at, but she was so happy that her parents were together. Even if it scared her a little that her mom was so emotional.

"Zara, let's go, come on." But Zara was already making her way over to Olivia and Nick, throwing her arms around Olivia's waist and determined to comfort her.

"Mommy, don't cry."

"What is going on?" Nick asked Olivia as he helped her sit down on the bed, Zara right beside her. But it was Caesarea who spoke.

"I'll tell you what going on; do you have any idea what she's accusing your brother of? La depravación que está tratando de poner sobre él! No puedes creerle; Manny nunca podría-"

"Mami; not in front of Zara."

"You know what, I don't care anymore!"

"Caesarea-" Olivia called

"Zara..." But Zara looked at Nick and then Olivia, then back at her grandmother, unsure of what to do.

"She's staying here." Nick said and Caesarea was preparing to speak, but Nick quickly shut her down. "Mami, vete a casa. Vamos a hablar de esto más tarde, pero ahora no es el momento!" He yelled, quite upset. Caesarea got so mad, she glared at Olivia, threw her hand up and walked out. But Nick didn't pay her any attention, instead he turned to Olivia, so overwhelmed that she was sitting here in front of him, and though she was in tears, she was awake and alert and he thanked god as he caressed her face in both hands while Zara sat happily at her side.

"Daddy, why are you mad at grandma?" Zara asked as she held onto and leaned on Olivia's arm like it was her life preserver.

"I'm not baby. And daddy was wrong to yell. But you know, sometimes people have a hard time accepting the truth, baby. That's all. Abuela will be okay, I'll talk to her later. But for now, I just want to spend time with you four." He said, as he kissed Olivia's lips. Though on the inside, he was torn up. Everything in him wanted to go after Manny, to make him pay for what he'd done to his wife. But Casey was right, he needed to be here for Olivia, they'd handle Manny. And it was with this in mind that for now, he let it all go to focus on his family.

* * *

"He's not there!" Fin said to Casey, who was on the phone with him.

"What do you mean he's not there?!" She was walking through the squad room to get to Cragen's office when she went in and shut the door, making sure Cragen heard the call. "Fin you're on speaker."

"I got to LaGuardia on time, the plane was right there, but Manny wasn't on it. We searched that plane, top to bottom but he wasn't on it. His names not even on the passenger list!"

"Son of a bitch! He left out of JFK!" Cragen said.

"Yeah, I'm on my way there now, what do you want me to do, Captain?"

"You just find out what flight he's on, I'll handle it from there."

"Copy that!" Fin said and ended the call.

"You know, I can't exactly be on this case once he's caught. Though I wish to god I could be the one to lock him up." Casey said as she turned to Cragen

"I take it you have personal history."

"Something like that. I'm sorry I'm holding you up, I know you'd much rather be at the hospital with Olivia."

"Believe me, getting this guy is the best thing in the world I can do for her."

* * *

At Caesarea's house, she came in the door mad as all hell! "Manny, Es tu mamá, nena, esta es mi quinta llamada, necesito saber de ti para saber que estás bien. Por favor vuelve a mi." She said into her phone before she ended the call, and sat her phone down. _This can't be happening!_

 _..._

JFK airport, Manny was sitting in the VIP lounge, waiting to board the plane when he saw that his mother had left yet _another_ message on his phone and he rolled his eyes as he put the phone back in his pocket, then took it out again and dialed.

"Uh, hi. Listen, this is Olivia Amaro's brother, Emmanuel. I called earlier… yes, that's right. So I was just wondering, I know you said earlier that she woke up… she is? Oh, that-that's great." He said, steaming as the nurse told him, he was sure with heart eyes, that she was with her husband and daughter. "No, no. You don't have to disturb her, but let me ask you, how are the babies? Is she still carrying them? She is…?" He gave a thankful sigh, at least his babies were still here. "No, that's all. Thank you!" He said then hung up. _Damn you Nick! You have no business there with her; what the hell happened with all the info I passed on to the dumb blonde? That was enough to at least get the cops on his case, maybe have him held over…_ "Damn! Think, Manny, think…"

...

Sleep. It was one of the best things about having the day off. She got to sleep. And unless there were a huge emergency, no one got to disturb her! It was now rather late in the day, and still, with nothing on but the panties that she'd stripped down to, leaving a trail of clothing that ended at her bed when she came in late last night. Somewhere under those covers, Amanda slept hard; drooling up a storm, and didn't have one regret. No, this was the life, and she was enjoying sleeping it away, not a care in the world - until her phone started to ring, cutting through the beautiful silence.

One ring… Two rings… Three rings… "Yeah… Uh, Rollins." It came low; very low and with closed eyes from deep under the bed covers. She'd have to remember to change that ringer. _Only work should be allowed that ringer._ She thought as she partially listened, her mind still halfway in dreamland, to the call.

"Amanda?"

"Who's this?" She literally squeaked out, her voice still not bothering to rise above a sleepy whisper.

"It's Manny, how are you?" He hadn't called since Friday but surprisingly, that was okay with her as

she immediately sat up, the covers falling to her waist and fully awake now. Her pussy suddenly creaming just at the sound of his voice.

"Manny; hi!"

* * *

"This is ridiculous. Mami, she's wrong! Manny could never!" Vida and Caesarea where on a three way call, along with Marisol who was just listening while her mom and sister were livid! To find out that Manny was being accused of doing something like this to his own sister in law- Vida and Caesarea knew without a doubt that Olivia had to be lying; it was a mistake. "She just expects us to buy this?"

"I tried to talk to her; to make her see that this wasn't right-"

"Well have you talked to Nick?"

"Sus hermanos un tonto. Ni siquiera lo oirá!"

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe, I don't know, he won't hear it it because something in him knows that she's telling the truth?" It was Marisol who spoke up and Caesarea and Vida went momentarily mute!

"He's your little brother, Mari." Caesarea said.

"And so is Nick! But you're so ready to throw him under a bus!"

"Manny didn't do this!"

"And Nick did? Mami, Nick would never do ANYTHING to hurt Olivia, I know this. Not Olivia, or any woman for that matter!" and she was so angry that they could even suggest it.

"Right, and Manny could?" Vida said.

"I'm sorry, but am I the only one who's noticed his behavior over the years? Do I wanna believe he did this? No, I don't but do I? Hell yeah!"

"And the affair; that means nothing to you?"

"An affair that she didn't need to tell us about to get her point across! She could have denied the whole thing and just focused on the rape, but she didn't. She chose to come clean about everything because-"

"Manny didn't do this!"

"Mami; I know he's your baby but you gotta wake up to what it is."

"Mami, you don't believe this!" Vida said.

"I don't want to-"

"Then don't! You know your son. He was just telling me yesterday that he's in love with someone. That doesn't sound like a man who would rape anybody.

"Vida, you're delusional! I should be back from Dallas the day after tomorrow, and I'm coming straight there. But in the meantime, if there's any information, you call me!" Mari said. "Mom…"

"I will."

"I have to go." She said and hung up, shaking her head and leaving Vida on the phone with Caesarea.

* * *

"Denise has Zara, and if I know my daughter, she'll want to play after she eats. So I'd say we have a couple hours, at least." Nick said as he came back to Olivia's bed where she was sitting, rubbing her stomach. He didn't want to talk about what he knew in his heart was coming. If it could be left to him, he and Olivia would just find a way to let it go, to never mention it. But they couldn't; he couldn't ask her to because she needed to heal, and that wouldn't come with her holding it in. Plus, he could tell with how she looked at him when he first came in her today; her eyes said so much. She was full of shame and sorrow; and regret. She needed to get this out and he would, no matter how much it hurt him, be here for her. He'd listen to however much, or little she wanted to tell him, though in his heart he hoped that wouldn't tell him anything, but he'd be here.

"I look at my baby, and I'm so thankful for her...and I always thought that if the day ever came that we got our wish and I got pregnant, I would be even more thankful and it would be such a happy time." She said wistfully as Nick sat beside her

"Liv, it is a happy time."

"It's not. I ruined their beginning with the affair, and lying to you." She said quietly, wiping tears. "Now your mother hates me, and I just... But I'm done lying to you. All of this happened because I gave Manny the leeway to do what he did."

"Mami…"

"I should've resisted when he first came onto me, but I didn't-" She was trying so desperately to hold it together, her voice cracking with tears. Nick found this so hard to hear, but it was breaking Olivia to have to tell him and he got hold of himself and put his arm around her as she spoke. From somewhere, she gathered the strength to tell him everything! Everything that happened on that fateful Saturday night, when he first violated her. She told him how they had words but he wouldn't let her leave after he'd stormed out and how, when he'd picked her up by the neck and slammed her down on the bed, she knew and she begged him; for herself, for the babies not to do it, but he wouldn't listen. He'd had her arms pinned behind her back and he raped her, all while he berated Nick.

She told him how he stalked her after that. About the flowers he sent last week and the gift. How when she went to throw it out in the trash chute, she came back to the apartment only to find him there.

 _"Why haven't you haven't answered my calls?" Manny said, from where he stood in the living room by the window._

 _"Wh- how did you get in here?" She wondered aloud and a bit scared._

 _"I came to see if you enjoyed the flowers and the gifts for my babies."_

 _"They're not your babies." She said with her hands to her stomach, ignoring his comment about the flowers and the rattles. She just wanted him out of there._

 _"Aren't they? Nick did come by, waving these "results" but you know, I just don't trust that they're real." He said as he came closer and threw the papers at her._

"...we fought." She said as she tried hard not to cry, but it was a losing battle as the tears flowed at their own will. "I grabbed a knife; and my phone, and I looked away for one second to call the police…"

He couldn't listen to anymore. He was feeling sick, and angry. So angry that he wanted to hit and break something, but he held his own. Even when she got into how Manny forced his fingers into her, and then slapped her across the face, knocking her to the floor then grabbing her when she tried to get away. Resulting in her hitting her head and ending up here. He didn't let her finish. Right now, he didn't care about it. Right now, the only thing in this world that he cared about was sitting in front of him, sobbing, and had just told him that she'd been violated in the worst way by his brother, and right now, she was the only thing he could focus on. Not his pride or the fact that she cheated; it all seemed so unimportant in the face of this. Right now, she needed him. She needed his comfort and his love; she needed him more than anything right now. And knowing that, he pulled her into his arms.

"I'm here baby." He cried as he kissed her head and held her. This was even worse than he knew. Casey had only told him the basics. "I'm right here. I'm here."

* * *

"What do you mean, he's not there?" Cragen yelled into the phone.

"I mean, he's not here. His name was on the flight list, and we've searched every plane to florida in this place, but lo and behold, this guy never showed up."

"Or he did, and got wind that we were coming and changed plans."

"What do you want me to do?" Fin said as both he and Cragen took on a look of defeat. They'd wanted this guy bad. After what he did to Olivia, he deserved to be in jail.

"Nothing that can be done. Pack it in and head back." He said, and hung up, sighing heavily. "And now I have to break this to Liv!"

* * *

 **TBC...reviews are nice.**


	38. Luck

**Chapter 38**

* * *

.

Three hours already. She had been trying to call Manny for the better part of three hours, and so far, she'd only succeeded in getting his voicemail every time, like now.

"Manny, this is your mother again. You need to call me; I'm worried about you." She said before she hung up the phone. "Where are you?" She asked nobody, aloud. This was the eighth time she'd gotten his voicemail, and she knew he hadn't been arrested yet, so where was he?

* * *

 _"We can't!" She said, her voice diminishing as he took a step closer and put his hands on her waist, eliminating the space between them._

 _"Dimé por que no." He whispered as he caressed her face and brought his lips so close to hers, she could smell the hint of Brandy on his breath._

 _"Nick…"_

 _"Nick what?" He asked as he lightly skimmed her jawline again, planting searing kisses to it._

 _"He's… My fiance-" She whispered, urgently as his hand slid a strap off her shoulder, taking one of the straps of her sports bra with it, partially exposing one of her beautiful, full breasts before she stopped him, just before her nipple was uncovered._

 _"Think of this as a last hurrah before the wedding!" He spilled kisses down her neck and to her breast as he said this and she melted when his mouth touched the skin that was exposed, gently nipping her before he kissed and sucked. She was losing this battle; the pleasure she was feeling was so...great, so..._

"Manny?" Amanda called to him as she stood with a glass of ice water for him and he seemingly came out of deep thoughts. They must have been happy ones because he was grinning.

"I'm sorry. Thanks." He took the water, taking a long sip before he sat the glass down on the coffee table and turned to her. "So…"

"Where'd you disappear to just now?"

"Just thinking of happier times. I'm gonna use your bathroom, I'll be right back." He said and got up.

The bathroom door had just closed when Amanda opened her robe, revealing her very see through black lace bra, so glad she had time to shower before he got here. She tousled her hair and tweaked her nipples which were already shockingly hard! She was already so turned on, she could literally feel his dick inside her, and her juices started to flow in the seat of her thong. "Thank you god!" She prayed as her phone rang. "Fin, make it quick!"

"Captain needs you here."

"What?" Her mood was literally ruined.

"Sorry, but we got one on the loose and we need everybody in on this one."

"He must have attacked someone important."

"He did. Amanda it's Liv."

"Liv? Wait, she's awake?"

"Woke up this morning and gave quite a statement to Casey. We gotta find this Manny-"

"Manny?"

"Turns out, they arrested Nick for the rape his brother committed."

"Arrested? What are you talking about?" She had no idea that Nick had been arrested and she suddenly felt her stomach drop as she nervously closed her robe. Whispering now, so as not to alert him. "and rape?"

"It's bad. And Cap is dead set on findin him!"

"I can help. Fin…he's here." She said fearfully, going to the bedroom for her gun.

"What is he…? We'll talk about it later, we're on our way, don't let him leave!"

"I'd rather he did. Hurry." She screeched, opening her lock box, then hung up the phone and took off her robe, in search of clothes.

 **In the bathroom…**

"No no, I just let my luggage go on, but I could really do with you lending me that private… Yeah, of course. I'll explain it when I touch down. Yes, thank you… Leaving now, I owe you. Farmingdale Regional, got it!" He said and hung up. As he came from the bathroom calling for Amanda, he saw that she had gone into the bedroom and that the door was closed.

"I'll be out in a minute… Shit!" She said to herself as she pulled on her jeans.

"No hurry." She heard Manny say as she buttoned her pants and threw on a tee shirt. She then tucked her gun in her waistband before she left the room minutes later, only to find the living room/kitchen area empty.

"Manny?" She called out, searching the bathroom. He was gone. "Dammit!" She said as she ran and opened the front door, stepping out into the hallway. She looked around and went to the elevator and then the stairway before she took out her phone and dialed. "Fin, he's gone!"

* * *

They lay in Olivia's hospital bed with her in Nick's arms, his hands wrapped around her, caressing her belly.

"I can't tell you enough how sorry I am." Nick told her as her kissed her hand.

"I'm the one who's sorry. If I had never given in and allowed the affair-"

"Don't."

"I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself for that."

"Listen to me, all I care about is that you're here, and you're okay. And these babies are okay. We can get past everything else, and we will."

"How can you forgive me for what I've done?"

"Because I love you, and I love our family, and it took seeing you unconscious to make me see that nothing else matters! I thought I'd lose you that day and it put everything in perspective for me. I don't care about the affair, I care that he hurt you. I care that the second time he almost killed you, and I swear to you, he won't get away with it!"

"Nick, I have to tell you something." She said, as the door opened, and Nurse Lynn came in with her thermometer and the blood pressure monitor.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt, but we need stats." She said as Olivia looked at her. "I'm Lynn, by the way, it's nice to finally meet you, formally."

But Olivia said nothing. Instead, she appeared to be thinking; more like remembering something.

"Liv?" Nick called to her, but her mind was elsewhere.

" _Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize…" The lady began as Olivia heard the door to the room open, and felt Manny pulling his hand from under her blanket as her gown was undone and her breasts were exposed. "What the hell is going on in here?" The woman asked._

" _Um, Nick Amaro…he's my brother and, well we- I just wanted to come, see how she's doing." He said. There was a long silence before Olivia could hear Manny speak again. "Look, how about I lay some money on the table, and all you have to do is go away for thirty minutes." He said, and she could heat him counting out the money. "I've got $1000 here, all yours if you just walk away and forget what you saw!"_

" _I'm calling security!" The woman, and Olivia thought she was saved, but…_

" _1500!" She heard him counter. "You'd have to work a whole week to earn that, but you can have it right now. All I'm askIng is a half hour!" He didn't know her story, and he didn't care. All he knew was that she took those hundred dollar bills, stuffed them in her pocket and then Olivia heard the lady tell him he had 'exactly' a half hour for whatever business he had with Olivia._

"Okay, all set. If you guys need me, just call. Welcome back Mrs. Amaro."

But still, Olivia just looked at her, this time with shock on her face as she realized that this was that woman! "Thanks Lynn, she's just a bit tired." He said, uneasily, before Lynn walked out the door, closing it behind her.

"Baby" He whispered, looking into her eyes as he gently touched her hair, putting a loose tendril behind her ear. "Que es?"

"You'll think I'm crazy."

"Liv, I'll never think you're crazy, okay? What's going on?"

"You'll think I'm crazy; but I know what happened. I could hear everything around me; and I could...I could feel e…" Tears started, and she took a moment to collect herself. "...everything. I could feel… Manny came into my room; and he; Nick, I could feel him…kissing me, and touching me. I could feel his mouth; and his hands all over me…in me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"He tried to rape me while I was lying in this bed, in a coma. That bastard came into my room and he undressed me! He put his hand between my legs and forced his fingers into me. And that nurse came in…"

"Lynn?"

"...she asked him what he was doing and then threatened to call security but he bribed her. And when she left, _that_ nurse, he got on top of me and he did things to me; I could feel him remove the diaper I was wearing and then he tried to force himself in…

He remembered the day he talked to the her; she told him that she hadn't found anything, that there was nothing. How can Olivia be here telling him that… "That can't…" He said, in somewhat of a daze.

"I can still hear his zipper; the rustle of his clothes. He took advantage of me and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't scream, or call for help, I just had to lie there, feeling every disgusting touch until he finished and I thought when she came in that day that I'd be safe, that she'd stop him-"

"Don't tell me this!" He said as he got up, having reached his breaking point, and stormed out of the room, leaving Olivia calling after him.

"Nick? Where are you- Nicolas…!" She cried.

...

Outside, at the nurses station…

"Misha, you'll need to check Mrs. Konach in 318B, she complaining again." Nurse Shanna said as she checked over a file. Misha was standing, having just come from another patient, while Lynn sat behind the desk, eating granola.

"That woman is gonna make me me kill her!" Misha joked.

"Or just get Lynn here to ignore her." Nick said as he came towards the nurses station. "Get up!" He said to Lynn as he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of her chair, dragging her down the hall while Misha and Shanna protested and Shanna called security.

...

"Get your hands off me!" Lynn protested while Nick was busy lugging her down the hall to Olivia's room, but he was not letting go and spun her against a wall.

"I trusted you! I asked you to check my wife for signs of assault, and you told me that you didn't find anything!"

"I-I didn't, I…"

"Then explain how she remembers!" He yelled as he hit the wall behind her head, causing her to jump. "You allowed my brother to stay in her room?"

"I… I don't know what-"

"Don't lie to me!" He said as he pulled her into the room. "Tell her." He said to Olivia as nurse Shanna came into the room. "Tell her what you just told me!"

"You were in my room that day." Olivia said as Lynn stood there.

"What day? Mrs. Amaro, y-you must be mistaken. I-" She stammered, lying, but Olivia wasn't about to relent.

"I'm not crazy, it was you! I remember your voice; your accent!"

"You-" Lynn began but she knew she'd be best to shut up. There was no other nurse at the hospital with the deep Staten Island articulation. And as much as she wanted to deny it, she knew it was futile.

"I called security!" Nurse Shanna said as she ran in. She was standing at the door, but Nick didn't even turn to respond, instead he kept his gaze on Nurse Lynn the entire time while he spoke.

"Good, call security! And while you're at it, get the Hospital Administrator down here, NOW!" He roared as Shanna jumped and left the room.

* * *

This; these last few hours; hell, this whole last day, they couldn't be real. Caesarea thought. Nick is arrested, only for Olivia to wake up and accuse Manny, as if he could ever hurt anyone.

 _"Did you ever stop to think that maybe, I don't know, he won't hear it it because something in him knows that she's telling the truth?" It was Marisol who spoke up and Caesarea and Vida went momentarily mute!_

 _"He's your little brother, Mari." Caesarea said._

 _"And so is Nick! But you're so ready to throw him under a bus!"_

 _"Manny didn't do this!"_

 _"And Nick did? Mami, Nick would never do ANYTHING to hurt Olivia, I know this. Not Olivia, or any woman for that matter!" and she was so angry that they could even suggest it._

She hadn't realized until now what this looked like. She hadn't even considered Nick in all of this but what was she to do? She loved both her sons, but she knew that Olivia had to be lying to protect Nick. He spent more time with his father, fifteen years as opposed to Manny's five.

 _"Right, and Manny could?" Vida said._

 _"I'm sorry, but am I the only one who's noticed his behavior over the years? Do I wanna believe he did this? No, I don't but do I? Hell yeah!"_

 _"And the affair; that means nothing to you?"_

 _"An affair that she didn't need to tell us about to get her point across! She could have denied the whole thing and just focused on the rape, but she didn't. She chose to come clean about everything because-"_

"But he couldn't have."

* * *

He'd made it. He'd gotten to Farmingdale Republic Airport, and boarded his private plane with no problem. And now, he was in the air and sipping champagne on his way to Miami.

"Shame I had to leave so fast." He said out loud to himself, turning up his drink. "But there's just no telling what big brother was up to, and I am far too good looking for prison."

Just then, his phone rang and he hurried to get it from his pocket, seeing that it was his mother. Again. "Mami, hey."

"Oye. Es todo lo que puedes decir "hey?" He estado muy preocupada por ti! Are you alright? Where are you?"

"I'm on a flight to Miami, mami, why are you worried?"

She told him about Nick; how he was arrested yesterday and how Olivia woke up this morning. She basically told him that Olivia had fed the court a story of him raping her and then causing her accident in order to free Nick, and that the police were now looking to arrest him. To say that Manny was shocked….

"She did what?" He said. Feeling himself growing angry.

"She also told me about the affair. Emmanuel, how could you? She's your brothers wife!"

"I know, and it just happened! We were alone, and one thing led to another but this nonsense about raping her, that never happened."

"I knew it couldn't have."

"Yeah, mami listen. I gotta take this call but I'll get back to you tonight once I'm settled… Okay, I will. I love you too!" He said before he ended the call and banged his fist hard, several times against the table before he dialed.

...

In Olivia's hospital room...

"It'll be okay, you trust me?"

"More than anything."

"That's what I like to hear. I love you, so much!" He said and kissed her head as the room phone rang. "You want me to get it?"

"It's okay, but thank you." She said as she lifted the receiver and put it to her ear. "Hello?"

"You fucking bitch!" Manny yelled. "After everything I've done for you; I pledged my love to you, I gave you my babies and you take his side?!" She immediately dropped the phone onto the bed as Nick looked at her.

"Who is that?" He asked as he picked up the receiver and heard Manny still bitching.

"...fucked you better than anyone-"

"Where are you?" Nick asked, in a calm voice.

"You'd like to know!"

"You raped my wife, you endagered her and my babies and that little shit you pulled last week; I'll tell you what, you'd better hope and pray that the police catch you before I have a chance to, because if not, Mami's gonna hate me for what I do to you, you little shit!"

"Well, it's a good thing that neither of you can get to me, isn't it? Tell your slut of a wife I'm done!" And he hung up.

Nick began immediately beating the phone against the bed rail until the cheap handset fell apart, then threw it on the floor and turned, pulling Olivia into his arms and both of them in tears. After all they'd been through the last two and a half years, this was without a doubt the thing that would test their relationship, and they both knew it, and prayed that they could withstand it!

* * *

 **Back with more.**


	39. Starting Over

**Chapter 39**

* * *

 **.**

 **One month later…**

Life had gotten back to normal, for the most part, over the next month. Olivia was released from the hospital after a few days and much to her wishing, she went home with Nick, who had decided that if they were really going to try and make things work, he needed to be at home. So, he moved back in to try so they could try to work on their marriage. Although, it wasn't much work at all; they loved each other wholeheartedly. And though Olivia made the mistake of giving herself to Manny, that hadn't changed; if anything, going through all of this made her realize the man she had in Nick, and she knew now that she was a fool for looking elsewhere, when everything she'd wanted was in front of her.

As month wore on, in between work at the precinct and his consulting, Nick managed to continue on the house, determined to surprise Olivia with it in time for Christmas, often being so tired he'd pass out as soon as he got home, which was often very late at night if he didn't fall asleep right in the house, just to be right back up again. He hadn't had more than three hours a night in about three weeks. But it would all be with it when he could give it to her and Zara. Especially now. This past month, they'd all been through so much, especially Olivia; and he just wanted to do something nice for her, so to him, it was worth it all the sleep lost.

Now however, the house was finished, ahead of schedule. The kitchen being the last piece, and the giant, top-of-the-line stove and fridge had just been delivered.

"This looks great." The delivery man said after he, Nick and Fin moved the stove into the kitchen of the new house. "Makes me glad I'm not married, my wife would be begging for this kitchen!"

Nick looked at the delivery man and smiled uncomfortably before he signed the tablet and handed it back to the man. "I'm sorry- again that I was late for the delivery."

"It's cool, man." He said and gave him a tip. "Thanks again."

"Alright man." He said and left out the kitchen door. Nick stopped and looked around. The kitchen was absolutely beautiful! They had just finished with the cabinets yesterday, everything was finally finished.

"I still can't believe what you spent on appliances. Thank god I was young and broke years ago when I was married." Fin said to Nick.

"Hey, if it were just me, I wouldn't care, but I gotta have the best for my family." He laughed, then turned serious. "I wanted to thank you, I don't know where I would have been without you this last month…"

"Hey, it's nothing. I'm just glad I could help; you and Liv, you both need this. I think the sooner you guys move outta that apartment, the better."

"Preaching to the choir."

"How are things with you two?"

"You're at work with her everyday, man."

"You kiddin me? Like Liv is open with her private life. Even I'd she knows that we all know what happened, she's closed off. And captain, he feels like he failed her lettin' Manny get away."

"I know the feeling, trust me. If I could get my hands on him…"

"Any word on where he is?"

"Well, according to my sister Marisol, he was in Europe working in Paris, and then he went to the middle east to Dubai… And I hope to god he does something stupid and gets locked up over there. I have to remind myself every day of what I have here so I won't go chasing him down!"

"Good, just keep reminding yourself of that. You and Liv have so much to be thankful for, and Manny, don't worry, he'll get his before long."

"From your lips to god's ears. Okay, let's get these things hooked up so we can head out. With any luck, I'll be making love to my wife tonight!"

"Man, I don't wanna know that!" Fin spat, a look of disgust marring his face, but Nick just laughed. "Get the wrench!"

* * *

As Olivia entered the apartment after a tiring day at work, today was one that she was so glad that Cragen had her on a modified schedule and had been letting her out a four most days because today, she was so tired and couldn't wait to get a nap before Zara got home from piano class with Denise.

An hour after she got home, she woke up on the couch having to pee. She'd been out of the bathroom maybe five minutes before Zara and Denise came in the front door.

"Mommy!" Zara said as she came running to her. Throwing her arms around her waist and hugging her bump. Lately, most of all, Zara was having a ball watching Olivia's belly grow and she loved to kiss and touch it.

"Hey peanut. How was piano?"

"Good. Denise bought me a cookie after, because I did really well."

"I hope that's okay?"

"It's fine." Olivia said.

"Did you feel them move yet?" Zara asked excitedly as she held her head to Olivia's belly and felt around it.

"Not yet, peanut."

"Hey, you guys can do it, wake up in there!" She said as Olivia and Denise laughed.

"If you don't need me for anything else, I'm gonna get going. I will see you on Monday little one, have a good weekend." Denise said and kissed Zara. "Bye Olivia.."

"Thanks again Denise, see you Monday."

"Mommy, can we play chess again?" Zara asked as she and Olivia came from the door after seeing Denise out.

"Tell you what, why don't you help me get dinner going and then we'll play."

"Okay... Mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"Promise you won't go away again?" Olivia looked at Zara with fresh tears in her own eyes. She had never expressed her feelings about what had happened a month ago, even though Olivia knew she had to have some emotions about it. But ever since she'd woken up, Zara had just expressed thankfulness, now finally, here it was, and she sat down on the sofa with the child to talk to her.

"I guess that was a pretty scary time for you, huh?" Zara nodded yes.

"Daddy and grandma said that I shouldn't be scared, and I tried not to be, but…" She said as she started to cry, and Olivia hugged her against her breast.

"Hey, you never had to worry that I wouldn't come back."

"I didn't?" Zara said through her tears and Olivia wiped them away.

"Not at all, peanut. I love you so much, and I would have jumped a whole ocean to come back to you." She said, making Zara smile. " and you know what? I heard you while I was unconscious; all your beautiful words, and your stories. Even when you talked to the babies."

"You did?" Zara asked, still smiling as she sat up.

"I did. And I've never been more proud of you. But don't you worry, I'm here for a long time, and so are these little ones. You know how you told them that you're gonna look out for them? Well, I'm gonna look out for you; for all of you. Come here." She said, then took Zara and gave her a million kisses, hugging her tight. "I love you baby girl and I'm always gonna be here for you, no matter what!"

"I love you too, mommy, so much!" She hugged Olivia tight with her little arms. "Just don't go away again!"

* * *

Amanda got home that night, ordered a pizza and after she showered and put on a tee shirt and shorts, she sat on the couch, enjoying it with a beer. But watching television after a long day at work, she couldn't stop thinking about the one person she shouldn't; Manny. It had been a whole month since he'd skipped off to god knows where, and with what he'd been accused of doing to Olivia, she knew she shouldn't be, but she couldn't help wondering about him and wished that he'd call!

Sure, in the beginning, she'd been scared to death when she found out like everybody else had, what he'd been accused of doing. But over the last month, her heart had softened and she started thinking(more like hoping); she wasn't by any means doubting Olivia, or calling her a liar, but what if Olivia had it wrong? Amanda remembered the night she spent with him, and not that she was easy or anything, but it took Manny practically nothing to get her into bed; a look, and she was all his and had no qualms about letting him do certain things to her that she wouldn't have let just any man do. So why would a man like that need to rape? Maybe if she could just hear his voice; talk to him, she could better understand this whole thing.

She took another swig of her beer before she put it down and wiped her hands off on her tee shirt then reached for her cell phone and dialed. It went straight to voicemail and she figured she'd chance it. "Hey Manny, it's Amanda; Amanda Rollins. I uh, I'm not calling in relation to; well _that._ I was just trying to see how you were doing, so… Anyway, it's been a while; you can call sometime if you Want but I guess I'll talk to you later. Okay, bye!" She said and hung up, not having any idea why she'd just done that, nor why she sounded like a blubbering idiot while doing so!

* * *

"...it's been a month since I told him and he just looks at me differently. He tries not to let it show, but I can tell." Olivia was saying to Casey as she was on the phone with her. She had come into the kitchen after her shower, looking for something to snack on, and was now on her third fudgesicle. All of which she ate while talking to Casey.

"Honey. I'm sure you're exaggerating."

"No, I'm not. He thinks about it, and he blames himself for what Manny did even though I've tried to tell him that it's not his fault."

"If that's true, you just gotta give it time is all."

"It's just so frustrating!" She said with a bite to her fudgesicle that was starting to melt. "And in the meantime, I'm so fucking horny. I swear, if I didn't get myself off every night, I'd go crazy."

"He won't?"

"He hasn't; which leads me to think that it's because of the rape."

"I'm sure it's not. Just be patient."

"Easy for you to say when my hormones are multiplying by the minute. I'm thinking about sex all day, and that's just weird considering what we do."

"Hey, the dildo won't be your best friend forever."

"Very funny, considering I'm too tired most nights to even use it."

"Hey, have you guys decided on the settlement the hospital is offering?"

"We're having our lawyer look it over but it's pretty much a done deal."

"Two point five? I'd say so. What on earth are you guys gonna do with all that money?"

"College tuitions, then we'll see."

"Well, don't forget your best friend in the whole world." She laughed. "I've got a ton of work to do before I leave here, so I'm gonna get luck at the doctor's."

"Thanks, I'll call you tomorrow," She said and ended the call, putting her phone down and continued eating her fudgesicle. She was standing against the counter sucking on it when she heard the front door unlock and open, and Nick come in.

"Liv?" He called as he stopped to hang his coat.

"In the kitchen."

"Hey babe." He said as he came in.

"What are you doing home so early? It's not quite ten, this is a first in a while." She said as they gave each other a peck.

"I finished up early."

"Are you hungry? I could heat you up-"

"No, thanks babe. I had a sandwich." He said, as he looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time as she went back to eating her fudgesicle. He saw how her tank clung to her breasts and stomach; god, it had grown so much in the past month! Four months pregnant with twins, and she looked fucking radiant! Everything from how much her ass had grown, to her hips that had widened, and here she was, standing at the counter in her little bikini cut panties and that tank top with which he could see she had no bra! Her breasts were full and inviting, their nipples hard and practically tearing their way from the top she wore; eating a Popsicle that was melting and she had her hand beneath it to catch any stray drops. Aside from being ridiculously turned on, he thought her belly looked beautiful, so big. _Jesus,_ his dick was hard and twitching just looking at her, and she felt him staring and turned her head around to him.

"What are you looking at?" She said with a playful grin on her face, and took a long, slow suck on her fudgesicle before she bit into it. Damn if that wasn't the absolute sexiest thing in the fucking world to him, and it made him even harder, if that were at all possible!

"You, your belly; all of you. Do you know how fucking sexy you are?" He said as the came up behind her and kissed her neck.

"Right, I'm sexy being all swollen. These babies are growing like weeds and I look a month more pregnant than I actually am." She said with a hand on her stomach, having joined his.

"You look beautiful!" He let his hands wander the expanse of her belly, before they made their way under her tank top to cup her breasts, surprising her.

"Nick, what are you doing?" She asked, hoping to god that this was going where she wanted it to, and he quickly answered while kissing her neck.

"I'm about to make love to my beautiful wife, if she doesn't mind."

"You…" But she didn't get a chance to finish, as he was already pulling at her nipples and she seemingly forgot her own name as she put her fudgesicle down on the counter!

"You look incredible! God, you feel incredible." He whispered as he continued teasing her breasts. She was putty in his hands at this point, gasping and moaning at the feel of him. "The way your body is filling out is amazing!" He skimmed her neck with his lips. "Tell me Zara's asleep."

"Ou-out an hour ago." He took one of his hands and slid it down to her pussy, slipping it inside her panties and played with what he found there. His fingers, slipping around over her clit.

"Good; Look at how wet you are! Is this for me baby?"

"All for you; only you!" And she meant it. This was how they were meant to be. She didn't need another man, especially when no man could make her feel like this. The way her body was responding to his touch had her going crazy. She'd never gone this long without it before and she just wanted to get him inside her, she didn't care where, but she wanted him so bad right now!

He pulled at the straps to her tank top as she turned her head to get her mouth on his in a smoldering kiss. "Nicolas, baby please don't tease me. I'm so horny, I could literally explode!"

A sultry grin rose on his face and he fisted her hair as he kissed her, pulling her head back and attacking her neck with his mouth. She quickly turned to face him, so hot with wanting him, wanting to pull him free from his jeans. She was already so wet, and needing him so bad, she could already feel him. And she was so turned on feeling his huge, veiny dick as he backed her into the counter, lifting her to sit on it as they continued to kiss. "Is this for me?"

"It better be!" He whispered, lifting her shirt and letting her breasts free. He immediately went to kissing them, then drawing her nipples in his mouth and she didn't have time to think about how sore they were when his mouth felt so incredible. When he picked up her fudgesicle from the counter and smeared the creamy treat all over her nipple, the cold was shocking, but when he stuck his tongue out, and he licked it clean before sucking it hard then repeated it with the other one, she lost it and came right there!

Smiling, and so pleased with himself as he continued on her nipples, there was chocolate dripping down her belly, which he gladly licked off before coming to her mouth again, and kissing her, sliding his tongue in, which she devoured. All of the touching was making her weak, especially having just cum, but he wasn't done with her, she soon found out. Taking her panties in his hands, he slid them down her legs, kissing his way down as he went, then when he pulled them off her feet and put them in his pocket, he slowly parted her legs again.

"Ni-" She started, but got a _Shhhh!_ as he again grabbed that fudgesicle and rubbed it up and down her already wet slit. Again, the cold was like a start to her clitoris, especially because he left it there for a minute before he began to tease her with it while she squirmed. Was he trying to make her scream as he got down between her legs and gave playful bites to her inner thighs? "Baby..." She screeched as he continued. While it felt so good, she couldn't handle it, it was feeling _too_ good. But when he removed it and popped it into his mouth to give it a long suck before he attached his cold mouth where the fudgesicle had just been, and started to massage her clit with his tongue while he pushed the remainder of it into her, she was done for. He'd hit her g-spot with the stick, and as he moved it back and forth, that, plus what his mouth was doing to her clit, was making her go crazy!

The heat from her pussy made what was left of the the pop melt, dripping down her slit as he caught it with his tongue. The cold with the sensation of what he was doing being so completely overwhelming as she cried out for him, for God, for anything to stop this euphoric feeling but keep it going. _Holy shit!_ She was cumming again! And when the fudgesicle melted completely, he withdrew the stick, giving it a suck before he tossed somewhere behind him, and got deep inside of her with his tongue, licking and sucking the chocolate out of her while she, in a crazed fit of ecstasy, grabbed his hair and opened her legs even wider. She felt like her heart would explode right out of her chest as she lay back, her back arched, breasts pointed in the air, legs spread and Nick going at her pussy like it contained the secrets of the universe. God if she was dreaming, she never wanted to wake up!

...

Later, when she was fast asleep. He lay there in the dark, her head on his chest as she slept and he looked over to see out the window. It was snowing in November, a rarity for New York City. Sure, there wouldn't be much in the morning, but he looked at the small flakes as they fell all light and airy and he couldn't help but think of his family, and how everything almost fell apart on one end, while it fell apart completely on another. He rubbed Olivia's belly as she slept; these babies would be here in a few months and everything was in shambles! He'd managed to save his marriage, but his mom and sister were angry at him; angry at Olivia for what they believed were lies about Manny. Sonia was smart in that she stayed out of it but his mom and Vida couldn't believe he'd done the things Olivia had accused him of, and that brought tension. So much, that this year they wouldn't even be getting together on thanksgiving in spite of Zara asking about it. He'd tried talking to his mother, trying to make her look at the situation with an open mind but…

" _I don't understand this. You've gone against your brother; your flesh and blood over a woman!"_

 _But Nick couldn't believe what he was hearing. "A woman?! Mami, she is my wife. Your daughter-"_

" _No daughter of mine would ever do this!"_

" _He raped her and he put her in a coma. Hell, we're suing the hospital now because a nurse took $1500 from him to let him do it again and you're defending him?"_

" _It's her word against his!"_

" _Her word against his? My word against his, Olivia's word against his; can't you see that he's guilty?!"_

" _Manny would nev-"_

" _-never do those things. And yet, it's so easy for you to believe that I would; that I would beat my wife after seeing what papi put you through? So what, she's lying to protect me? I was there for all those beatings that he inflicted on both of us because I tried to defend you since I can remember! You cried in my arms when I got big enough, and when I 'was' big enough, I fought him back and eventually he left because of it. How dare you think that I would inflict that same sick behavior on my wife and daughter? On our unborn babies? Olivia may have done wrong, and believe me, nobody knows that more that she does, but it doesn't change what Manny did to her; he almost killed her._

" _What do you want me to do, turn on my son?"_

" _I want you to open your eyes. And in case you forgot, I'm your son too, the one who, with his wife, has to deal with what he's done! Do you have any idea how it hurt her to have you call her her a liar? But I guess all's fair in your eyes when it comes to Manny, right? I said what I came to say; it's on you." He said and kissed her cheek. "I love you, no matter what but you've gotta wake up!"_

That was two weeks ago, and in spite of he and Marisol trying to talk to her, she was still sticking by Manny. But what could he do? He wondered as he felt Olivia shift; squeezing him tight as she planted a kiss to his chest.

"Nick, baby what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just excited about the surprise I have for you." He whispered as he he took her hand and played with her wedding band.

"Surprise? You know I hate surprises."

"You'll love this one, I promise." He said with a sweet kiss to her lips.

"We'll see, but in the meantime, baby please stop worrying about your mom and sister!" She said much to his amazement.

"How did you…?"

"Because I know my husband. There's nothing we can do about how they feel, we left the door open and we just have to hope that they'll walk through it." She said and kissed him.

"Where're you going?"

"Pee or pop, baby!" She laughed as she got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom in the dark. Nick was so thankful for her and Zara, and soon, these babies. Even if his mother couldn't be there for them.

* * *

Early the next morning at Caesarea's, she got up from yet another sleepless night. Ever since all this mess with Manny, like Nick she hadn't been able to sleep.

Ever since she met with Nick three weeks ago, her head has been a mess! She's thought about everything Nick said and realized that he was right. In all of her eagerness to jump and defend Manny, she failed to realize the burden that she'd put on Nick and Olivia. She guesses that she always knew that Manny had done this, from the moment she found out that he ran away to Europe just two days after getting back to Miami. She'd just had a hard time admitting it to anyone, especially Nicolas, but an even harder time admitting it to herself. She and Vida had encouraged him to go when he said he was leaving.

She told him that maybe it was best that he get out of the country, and let things die down. But Manny hadn't called since he skipped out, except to let Vida know that he was in Paris and then Dubai. And Caesarea had hoped that maybe Olivia would change her mind and all of this would be over when he got back. But how could she reasonably expect her to?

As she poured herself a cup of coffee, and looked out of the kitchen window, she could see the leftover snow that fell last night and tears began to make their way down her face. Shed been such a fool for Manny, and she really had no one to blame except herself.

He was just a baby when her husband left after a huge fight where he broke her arm and beat her so bad, he'd busted an eardrum and caused her a miscarriage. She remembered how she was home with just Manny and Sonia when it happened and they sat on the couch, holding each other in fear.

He'd called 911 when she'd started bleeding, and by the time Nick made it home from baseball practice, Nicolas Sr. sat on the sofa watching television. Sonia and Manny were in his his arms, with his fists red and swollen as if nothing happened. Nick lost it! He grabbed his father, attempting to beat him to a bloody pulp and Nicolas Sr. left that night, claiming he would not be disrespected in his own house. After that, she swore that she would protect her children and never let them be subject to behavior like that again. Mari and Vida didn't miss him but Sonia cried often for him, and Manny was lost without him. Though Nick did everything he could to pick up the slack and be a father to Manny, but thinking back, Manny had always shown hostility toward women. When he'd started school that fall, he'd often hit the girls when he disagreed with them. And though Caesarea though it was just him being five, as the years progressed, it grew worse.

Nick was off at college, so he hadn't known about the problems, but Manny grew from hitting the girls, to cursing them, and by the time he was in high school, he'd use them sexually and even humiliate them when he got bored with them, which was often and she had always made excuses for him. Often going to church to ask the saints to take away the anger that was in his heart like she'd done for her husband so many times.

He did this. He slept with his brothers wife, and when he couldn't have her, when she'd come to her senses and tried to stop it, he raped her to teach her a lesson about denying him. And Caesarea wanted so badly to believe that he couldn't that when she saw the signs she put it on Nick, rather than admit that it could be her baby. _He misses his father._ She'd alway say. Always use that as an excuse for his behavior, and she always blamed herself for the fact that Nicolas Sr. walked out, and she supposed she blamed Nick, though she didn't fault him. But every day for the last three and a half weeks, she wondered how does she say she's sorry?

"God, I made such a mistake!" She cried.

* * *

At Nick and Liv's apartment, he came out of the bathroom with a towel on his waist, having just showered to see Olivia still in bed asleep and he smiled. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful lying there _though that wasn't at all the story last night!_ He thought as he turned to get underwear from the drawer and revealed a bunch of fresh scratches all over his back. _Those were so much fun to get!_ He smiled, thinking how he fucked her so good last night, she actually lost her breath for a few seconds!

He walked over to the bed, and figured he'd give her a kiss without waking her, and leaned in to do just that. But the minute he had his lips near hers, she shifted and turned on her side, making him laugh to himself before he leaned further in and went to kiss her, resulting in her moving even further to the center of the bed, and him falling in from leaning so far. Olivia, unable to hold it in anymore began laughing as she opened her eyes.

"Good morning." She said with a big, bright smile on her face.

"Good morning yourself." He said before kissing her ever so sweetly as he wrapped his arms around her belly. "How're my three loves?"

She smiled when he said that, and feeling his strong hands on her belly, she felt so loved, so safe. "We're doing fine, though we missed you." She said with her own kiss to his lips.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. We especially missed what you did to us with that Popsicle."

"Oh you liked that, huh?" He said with a smile.

"Loved it. Are you gonna share what's under that towel?"

"This towel? I would but _we_ have somewhere to be this morning."

"We do? But my doctor's appointment isn't until twelve..."

"The surprise I was telling you about..."

"We have to go to it?" She said, somewhat disappointed, and he laughed.

"Yes we have to go to it. Now…" He kissed her. "get dressed. I'll finish in here and wake Zara."

"Fine, but you're no fun!" She said and sat up, getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom. She closed the door and was in there maybe five seconds when he heard her heaving into the toilet.

"You alright in there?"

"I'm goo-" she got got out before she heaved again.

...

"Tell me again where we're going?" Olivia asked as the three of them were all buckled into the SUV and going...somewhere.

"Nice try, but I didn't tell you yet."

"I don't see why we had to go so early, it's barely ten." She said, rubbing her belly. "And these babies have me so nauseous, I've been dry heaving all morning."

"I wanted to beat the traffic. And I promise, you will feel so much better when we get there!" He said and reached over to place his hand on her stomach to soothe it. It didn't help, but just having him here like this… She leaned back in the car, resting her head on the back of the seat and smiled at him, caressing the side of his face.

"You're my everything, you know that." He didn't verbally respond, instead, he smiled while taking her hand from his face and kissing it while Zara sat in the back seat watching them. They drove an extra ten minutes after they crossed the Manhattan bridge, coming to a gorgeous suburb. Each house was more beautiful than the last, and Zara looked on in wonder as they drove. All the doors and stoops were decorated in beautiful thanksgiving decorations, gorgeous leaves and pumpkins and suddenly, Olivia felt the magic of the season. It truly was beautiful here she thought as Nick came to a driveway and turned in. Coming up to a gorgeous two-story house with a beautifully kept front lawn and a giant oak tree that were holding on to the last of their leaves from summer.

"We're here." He announced as he stopped the car at the front of the house. Olivia noticed a giant red bow on the door, and suddenly her nausea was replaced with butterflies as they got out of the car and Nick turned to get Zara as Olivia just stood, staring at it.

"Daddy, whose house is this?" She asked. Nick, holding Zara, went to stand with Olivia, putting Zara down and turning to Liv, he looked her in the eye.

"Nick?" He reached in his pocket and held up a small black box with a ribbon on it.

"Happy... November fifteenth, baby!" He said, and she stared at the box before she nervously reached out to take it, opening it with shaky hands to reveal a brand new set of keys.

"Nicolas…" She asked with tears in her eyes. "What did you do?"

"It's ours?" Zara asked, so excited.

"It's ours my love." He said and turned to Olivia. "All ours. Do you like it, mami?" After all that had happened, all that she'd done, he'd gone and surprised her with a house? "Liv; baby what's wrong?"

"I don't deserve you." She said, in tears. "I don't deserve our life together, or this house and I'm sorry; I wanted to be better for you!"

"Mommy…" Zara called, not understanding what was happening but seeing her mother cry, scared her.

"Shhh! Come here" he said as he took Olivia into his arms. "Zara honey, don't worry, she's okay." But Zara looked at Olivia, still upset and so she was upset and threw her arms around her as much as she could and held her tight. "Liv, baby, do you remember what we said the day you got home home from the hospital? We said, we're starting over. This is part of that. I built this house, brick for brick, with my own hands. Our place, no shadows from the past looking over us; over our children. And as far as you deserving this, you deserve the whole world and I promise, I'm gonna give it to you, piece by piece."

"I don't, but you already have. I love you so much, Nicolas Amaro!" She cried as she hugged him, then turned to Zara, Picking her up and assuring her that everything was alright. She couldn't believe it. She was standing in front of her own house, on her lawn. Five years ago; hell, almost three years ago when she and Nick first started, she didn't think this was something she'd ever want. She was the ultimate New York City girl, had lived there her whole life, and now, well it was funny how things could change.

"So, we gonna see the inside?" Nick said, and Olivia kissed him as they walked with his arm around her to their front door, to open their new life.

* * *

"You wouldn't believe what I have gone through to get you!"

"Who is this?" The woman said, still halfway sleeping. She had just gotten off a late night shoot a couple of hours ago and was welcoming her bed.

"It's Manny, damn, I know it's only been five years…"

"Manny… Manny Amaro. Well well, long time no see."

"Long enough. So what are you up to these days?"

"You're kidding right? Or have you not picked up a porno lately baby? In case you haven't heard, I'm the biggest star that the industry has!"

"Well; congratulations. Listen, I was wondering. When's the last time you visited New York?"

* * *

 **TBC... If you guys notice any words that you think are missing, please let me know. I loaded this 4 times but fan fiction kept kicking out some of the words. I don't know why and I tried to fix it but I may have missed some. Thanks in advance.**


	40. The Porn Star

**Chapter 40**

* * *

.

"What do you think?" Nick asked as Olivia looked around in awe at the house. It was an absolutely stunning home, and after walking through and seeing it in its entirety. Olivia, now standing in the room that would become the nursery had tears in her eyes as she stood with her hand to her belly.

"I love it! I just can't believe that you built this...it's really ours?"

"It's really ours; I only wish that I could have given it to you sooner. Welcome home, baby!" He said, putting his arms around her from behind. She smiled and turned to face him, crying tears. "What?"

"I love you!" She said as he leaned in to kiss her, when suddenly, Zara came bursting into the room.

"Mommy, there's a swing set out back..." She said as she ran in, interrupting their moment and they broke apart. Lip gloss on Nick's lips. "...I can see it from my window, and a slide! Can I play on it, please?"

"Peanut, it's snowing."

"Only a little...pleeease?" Olivia turned to look at Nick as Zara waited with her her hands in a praying position, and hopping up and down.

"Don't look at me!" He laughed, backing up. Olivia looked at Zara, then out the window. The snow was only coming down sparsely and not too much was sticking.

"Please mommy?!"

"Ten minutes, and then we have to go."

"Yay!" She screamed, and ran from the room.

"I think she likes the house." He said and kissed Olivia before they walked out of the room hand in hand.

* * *

When they got to the doctors for Olivia's checkup, Zara couldn't help telling the doctor all about the new house. She was still so excited and told her all about it; her room, the kitchen, the backyard. She didn't miss an inch!

"So, did you tell the babies?" The doctor said.

"Yes, but they just slept through it!" Zara said as the adults laughed.

"Well, I'm sure they heard you, and they're very excited!" She said as Olivia reached to stroke Zara's hair and Zara leaned in to receive a kiss.

"Everything okay?" Nick asked as he looked at the screen and held Olivia's hand.

"Everything is absolutely fine. The twins are growing beautifully! And...they're in a perfect position for me to tell you guys their sexes if you wanna know."

"What are sexes?" Zara asked.

"Remember we talked about gender, peanut; like boy or girl?" Olivia said and then looked up at the doctor. "We actually talked about it a few days ago, and I want it to be a surprise."

"Nothing that isn't important to their wellbeing." Nick said, although it was killing him inside. He wanted to know; he just knew in his heart they were boys and he wanted bragging rights; now! But he had reasoned that since Olivia had to go through carrying them for nine months and giving birth, it was her call. "Are you sure you don't…"

"Nick!" She laughed. He was so cute when he was curious. "No, we don't want to know!" Although her not wanting to was partly based on her feeling like he'd be disappointed if both of them turned out to be girls. She wasn't delusional, and she knew that with being 42 and her medical history, this could very well be her only pregnancy and she wanted more than anything to give him a son, or two if the universe saw fit. Besides, she liked having Zara as her only girl, and actually prayed that…

"Okay. I'll print up the pictures, and Olivia I'll see you in a month if there are no problems."

* * *

He thought he could just walk away. Just forget about her, but it wasn't that easy. He found himself thinking about her every minute of every day; especially with her carrying his babies. He worried about Nick now being in a position to raise them and it wasn't like he could go back for them any time soon. But he had to get revenge. Olivia had been a very bad girl, and bad girls… He knew that he shouldn't have trusted her. She was just like all the others.

He'd once heard his father say that women couldn't be trusted, and the old man was right, they're all rotten bitches. But when he thinks of how he made love to her, how she responded, her cries of absolute pleasure, begging him to not stop… He'd never experienced anything like what he had with her. Maybe it was because she was sneaking around Nick's back to fuck him, and that just made the sex better. But whatever it was, she set him on fire!

Like that very early morning in the bedroom when she was in there in that tiny nightshirt. _God_ she was so hot! And when he took her… He loved how she played all innocent like she didn't want it, but once he got inside her, once she got a taste of his cock, she went wild. And though she tried not to cum, he soon had her squirting like a pornstar! Telling him to fuck her so hard and deep that she bled by the time were done!

"You fucking slut, you! My brother will pay for this!" He may have been far away, but that didn't stop him from thinking up ways to make Nick miserable. And with any luck, with his latest stunt, he would be quite miserable indeed, he thought as he rewound the video. _God she's so hot when she's being completely dominated and fucked!_

* * *

"It's really comin down out there!" Nick said, as he laid down beside Olivia who was already in bed and under the covers.

"I'm just glad we got back before we got covered. I could stay in bed like this all day!"

"It is pretty nice. It'll be even nicer once we move."

"God, I still can't believe we have a house!" Olivia was still so excited as she curled up to, and kissed him.

"I can't believe you've called the movers already!" Nick laughed.

"Are you kidding?" She said as she leaned in to kiss his lips. She was wearing his pajama top, with not much else, and he thought she looked so sexy as he caressed her belly! "I wanna be out of here as soon as possible; and I only got quotes so far!"

"That's gonna be hard with us working."

"I already called Cragen and told him I need some time off. This apartment has so many bad memories, and I'm just eager to start fresh and prove to you that-"

"Hey" He reached out and touched her hair. "You don't have to prove anything."

"But, I do." She said with a look of sadness. "I know how badly I hurt you-"

"And I survived. We all did"

"We shouldn't have had to; not because of what I did. I almost destroyed us!"

"I know that we've got a lot to work through, and most of it won't be easy. But you and me, we've got a lot of love between us, and that's what we're building on."

"I want you to know that I didn't stay because of these babies or because I felt like the worst human ever for cheating…"

"Liv-"

"I stayed because of what we have; and I need you to believe me, that the night you found out, it wasn't what made me realize it. You are my whole world, and I know I messed up, but I don't wanna lose you...I can't lose you!"

"And that's why it's so important to me that we work through this. I love you more than I've ever loved anybody, and when you were lying there in that coma, I realized just how much you mean to me. I promised god that if he just let you come back to me, that we would find a way to work this out; and he did."

"This house, it's a new start for our family. And you gave that to us and I love you so much for it!"

"I love you too babe; it's why we're trying." He said as they kissed again, and it quickly turned passionate.

"God, why am I so horny?"

"Is that an invitation? Because if last night was any indication..." He smiled as he let his fingers trace the outline of her nipple.

"...last night was a month too long!" She said, kissing him as his hands then roamed her body, going beneath his sleep shirt to caress the naked, smooth skin of her back. "But; how about we continue this later?"

"Tired?"

"What's another word for _tired_?"

"Lets see. There's, fatigued, drained, exhausted…"

"...exhausted; good word."

"It's okay; you sleep." He said and kissed her forehead as she snuggled against him.

"I may have the energy for one thing." She said, slinking her hand beneath the covers and into his pants. Pulling that monster out and smiling, she still couldn't believe that this was all hers and suddenly, she wasn't so sleepy anymore as she scooted down to put her mouth on the tip and tease it, running her tongue over the veins in the shaft before she slowly sucked it down. Licking it like her favorite Popsicle.

"God, mami… Shit!" He said a not-so-quiet thanks to God as her hand went up and down the shaft, and her tongue tickled his balls while she massaged them in her mouth!

It was just too beautiful not to taste!

* * *

Liv had gone down for a nap right after she'd blown Nick and put off sleep long enough for him to eat her so good that between grabbing the sheets and his hair and trying to be quiet, but failing miserably, she came so hard against his mouth that she nearly blacked out from its strength. She immediately fell asleep while Nick held her shaking body and made sure she was alright. With Zara and her both asleep and him, sucked dry from a blowjob, he came out of the bedroom in his pajama pants and a tee shirt and got to unwind, grab some popcorn and put on some old boxing on ESPN. But the longer he sat there watching TV, the more his mind began to wander to his brother. He thought about him a lot lately. Mainly just wondering how it all got so far away!

Up until a couple months ago, there was nothing in this world he wouldn't have done for Emmanuel and he thought his brother felt the same. God, the two of them had been through everything over the years and Nick had been so proud to call Manny his brother! Who knew that all along, Manny had been jealous and resentful of him, but for what? Yes he has a wife and a beautiful daughter, but Manny had always had it easy, and up to a certain point, it was _Nick_ who was a little jealous of him!

Nick had to work hard for everything he got, not wanting to take anything from his father. Since he was maybe ten, he'd do odd jobs to provide for himself. When he was thirteen, he quit the private catholic schools, opting instead to go to public high school and working two jobs. After high school, he thankfully went to college on a baseball scholarship, and joined the army, full time after. But all throughout he tried to show Emmanuel how to be a man in so many ways, but he guessed that he failed him.

" _Did it happen in this apartment?"_ He thought about the day he and Olivia tried to have a talk about it.

" _Yes." She practically whispered through tears and cleared her throat to speak somewhat louder, though not much. "Yes...the spare bedroom, twice and then..." She was embarrassed to be sitting here, telling her husband about how she cheated with his brother. Not only that but she was hurting for Nick. He had to listen to what she had to say and she felt tears sting her eyes because of this. "The first time we...Zara was at your moms and you were gonna be working a few days at the precinct. He came in early that morning and it just happened. I could try to tell you why, but the truth is, I can't. He came onto me-"_

" _And you had to let him fuck you to stop him?!"_

He wondered now if she'd let Manny do all the things she did with him… "Don't Nick. Just don't go there! He said to himself, suddenly he didn't want to think about it anymore, feeling his anger rising again, and he put it out of his mind. He had other things to be happy for; He and Liv would be starting over. It's like she said, this house was a new beginning for them; he only prayed that it really was. In addition to Zara, they would be welcoming twins soon and he couldn't have them coming into a volatile situation; he wouldn't. He couldn't believe when he saw them today, there they were, on that screen, so…

His thoughts were interrupted when the doorbell rang. Reluctantly, he got up from the sofa and walked down the hall to the door and was surprised when he looked through the peephole and saw his mother standing there on the other side of the door.

Taking his hand and rubbing his chin, he unlocked the door then slowly opened it. "Mami."

"Can I come in?" She asked, but he had already opened the door wide.

"Of course; come in." He said as she came in and he took her coat, then together, they walked down the hall to the living room. "How've you been?"

"I've-" She started when Olivia came wandering out of the bedroom in the middle of a huge yawn. She was wearing Nick's pajama shirt and scratching the scar by her temple.

"Baby, I'm- Caesarea." When Caesarea took one look at Olivia, so full of life… She was barely showing the last time she'd seen her a month ago, and now the twins were definitely making their presence known. But all Olivia could think about was her hair that was wild from her writhing, and she wished that she'd put it in a ponytail when she woke up.

"Olivia… Look at you!" She cried. "How have you- are you all okay?" Nick and Olivia could see that she was becoming emotional.

"We're fine." She said, smiling as she rubbed her belly to show it off just as Nick walked over and stood by with his arm around her waist.

"You okay?"

"Stop worrying; just hungry." She said to him quietly, both of them fighting the smiles that pulled at their lips. "Mom, um, what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you." While they were conversing, Olivia reached for Zara's scrunchie that she saw on the end table and quickly put her hair up in a sloppy bun.

"You drove here in the snow?! You could've just called."

"I couldn't-"

"Don't mind me, I'm just gonna get a snack." She said, then kissed Nick as she started to walk away to the kitchen, but Caesarea called her back.

"Actually, I want you to hear this… Can we sit?"

...

A moment went by, one that was very uncomfortable for Caesarea and Nick could see it, so could Olivia and it brought her to tears thinking of what she and Caesarea had been through this past month. "Olivia, I…" She started, but had to take a second when the tears started to flow. "...everything I said to you; I want you to know that I'm so sorry."

Nick and Olivia looked at each other. Was she really here, apologizing? She was. And Nick and Olivia sat and listened to her while she told them why she had the reaction she did to Olivia's news and ultimately begged for her forgiveness as well as Nick's. She missed them, and she especially missed her granddaughter and didn't want to be alienated from these babies. But that's exactly what what happening with her choosing to take Manny's side, in spite of knowing in her heart that he'd done what Olivia had said.

"I just couldn't… He's my baby. And I couldn't face that he…" She cried. Apologizing for suspecting that Nick was the culprit in all of this. She just didn't want to believe that Manny had ended up mirroring his father in so many ways. "I hurt you, and for that I'm so sorry, Mijo! I love you both so much…"

By the time she finished getting everything out, she, Nick and Olivia were all in tears as they sat. Of course Olivia forgave her, but it was harder for Nick. His own mother, the person who's known him longer than anyone else accused him of being a batterer to his family because of Manny. Knowing the pain they'd both gone through at the hands of his father, and how it affected them. It just wasn't so easy to forgive. Still, like he'd been thinking earlier, he didn't want these babies being born into hostility. And he also knew that if he could forgive Olivia and try to make things work, and she could forgive Caesarea, so could he. He just wanted this whole family to get back to how it used to be; and yes, he realized that it wasn't possible at this point with Manny, but he loved his mother. Above all else, he loved her, and it was this that had him embracing her as she cried.

...

It was a couple hours later that they all sat around the dining area having dinner. Casey had stopped by two hours ago, with the snow coming down so heavy she thought it would be best to wait it out at Nick and Olivia's. And now, an hour later, the snow had stopped but they'd all gotten comfortable. Liv offered to cook for everyone so they made a night of it! Zara talked everybody's ear off about the babies and her new room at the house as did Olivia.

"Four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, the most gorgeous kitchen I've ever seen, finished basement; oh, it's so beautiful!" She said proudly, almost gloating, but she was so excited!"

"Forget that, when can we see it?" Casey asked, chewing her asparagus and some steak. "Liv, this is incredible!"

"Thanks. How about tomorrow?"

"I can't believe you kept this a secret for how long?" Caesarea asked Nick. She was so proud of him for doing this for his family.

"Seven and a half months." Nick answered and kissed Olivia's hand from where he sat across from her at the table. "...and it was all worth it! You all should've seen her reaction!" He smiled.

"I'll admit, not a lot moves me, but he did it!" She said and leaned forward to kiss his lips as Zara watched in awe and started to giggle. as Olivia turned to tickle her.

"So everything is okay with you two…"

"We're okay." Olivia said thankfully and Nick squeezed her hand lovingly as Casey looked at them, smiling.

"Mommy, do I have to eat-" Zara started, but Nick knew where she was headed and cut her off.

"Zara, why do we have to go through this every time? Baby, you have to eat your vegetables." He really was tired of going through this with her. No matter what green vegetable they put in front of her, she'd always find some way to not eat them.

"But I don't want to. Mommy, do I have to eat the green stuff? I finished my potato almost." Zara said as she pushed the vegetables around on her plate with disinterest.

"Asparagus, and no, you don't _have_ to, but then, if you don't eat all your vegetables you can't play a game with us after dinner, and we're all done so..." Olivia said. Zara said nothing, she simply looked down at her plate and immediately went to devouring the asparagus.

"Good one babe!" Nick said. Olivia smiled and started to get up from the table, only to be stopped.

"Don't worry, I got it." He said and got up, kissing her lips before he cleared their dinner plates and went to the kitchen. "Dinner was absolutely delicious babe!"

"You ate two helpings, I'd say so!" She laughed.

"All four pieces mommy!" Zara said with her mouth full and quite proud of herself. Olivia and Casey looked at her and fought to not burst from laughing.

"Oh Zara, baby… Sweetie, you can't stuff your mouth like that, it's dangerous." Caesarea said,She was wiping at Zara's face with her napkin.

"Okay...but I can play now?"

" _Can I play now?_ And yes, you can." Olivia said and kissed Zara when suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Hold that thought peanut…" She said and went to the door, opening it to see a brunette woman standing there, maybe ten years younger, but completely trashy looking with her giant boobs that were obviously implants, hanging from her snakeskin top that was practically unbuttoned to her pierced navel and barely contained her nipples which were straining against the fabric of her shirt and were quite obviously pierced. She wore skintight black pants with thigh-high, snakeskin boots, lots of jewelry that dipped between her braless breasts or ran up her arm in the form of bracelets, a big leopard coat and a pair of Versace shades. Olivia thought she looked ridiculous and wanted to laugh, but she held her own and with a hand to her belly… "Hi, can I help you?"

The woman took off her shades, and threw her hair back with her very long, very ornately decorated, leopard print nails that caused her large, gold and diamond-encrusted hoop earrings to move. "I'm sorry, I'm looking for Nicky Amaro?" She said as she put her shades in her gold studded, Michael Kors black bag.

" _Nicky_?" Olivia mused. "I'm sorry, you are?"

"Oh, Maria." She said as she put out her hand. Olivia shook it, not yet making the connection. "Charmed, I'm sure. You are?"

"Olivia… His wife!" She said, stunned and looking Maria up and down.

"Wow! Popped another one, I see!" She said, eyeing Olivia's belly.

"Excuse me?" Olivia, annoyed already, quickly turned around to call Nick. "Honey… Come here please." She yelled, eyeing the woman as she waited.

"Yeah babe, who is- Maria?" He was absolutely flabbergasted. Was she really standing at his door after five years and acting like nothing happened? Olivia suddenly made the connection and looked at Nick, then back at the woman.

"Wait, this is…?"

"Hi Sexy. You still look good!" Maria smiled big and toothy.

"Is this a damn joke?!" Nick steamed.

* * *

 **TBC…**


	41. The Porn Star II

**Chapter 41**

* * *

.

" _Wait so that's it, you're gonna just blow me off?"_ Maria yelled quite loudly from the other side of the door as she banged on it. She was never big on subtlety.

"We can't just leave her out there." Olivia said to Nick.

"Watch me." He said as he started walking away.

"Nick, the neighbors."

" _Hello?!"_

"I am not talking to that woman! For one, she said all she had to say when she left my newborn daughter, suffering with an addiction five years ago, and for two-"

"Nick; debes escuchar la puerta, porque la oímos desde la sala de estar." Caesarea said as she went to open the door, but Nick stopped her.

"Mami, don't!"

" _Nick. Amaro!"_ Maria yelled.

"Would you ask Casey to take Zara to her room?" He said to Olivia, unsure that he should even entertain this. Olivia nodded and walked off to the living room as he and his mother were left in the hall.

"Why does that voice sound familiar?"

"Because it is!" He said as he moved to open the door.

...

"Zee, baby, why don't you go and show aunt Casey what you've been working on in math, and I'll be in in a minute."

"Okay, come aunt Casey!" She said, running ahead of her, into her room.

"Liv, is everything okay?" Casey asked, worried.

"I hope so." She said before Casey out her arm around her shoulder, then went to catch up with Zara, shutting her door.

"What are you doing here, after five long years?" Nick asked as they came into the living room where Olivia was standing near the entryway to the back. Her arms were folded across her chest and she was staring at Maria, as was Caesarea from the other end of the room. Olivia already didn't like her.

"I had business and I thought I'd come by to see you. Aren't you glad to see me?" She said with her deep Brooklyn accent.

"Not really, no. How did you get this address?"

"I got it from your brother." She said and they all dropped their heads for a second. "what is the big deal?"

"What do you want?"

"How is little, Sara?"

"Her name is _Zara_!"Olivia said, already fed up with this woman.

"I'm sorry, _who_ the fuck is _she_ again?" Maria asked, referring to Olivia. Nick looked over at Olivia and he saw that, thankfully she had this under control, because on top of everything else, he did not want to be pulling the two apart, or explaining to other officers why his wife killed a woman!

"I'm her mother!" Olivia said. "You know, the child you abandoned and apparently don't know her name? Where the hell have you been, anyway, not that it matters?"

"Honey, why don't you check your twitter?" Maria shot back. "I'm a bonafide star! Almost 80,000 followers! And as far as that damn kid goes, congratufuckinlations! You want a medal?"

Olivia chortled for a second, and caught a glimpse of her wedding ring as she put her hand over her mouth momentarily. She wanted to throttle this woman. "Okay; I'm gonna excuse myself before this gets ugly." Olivia said as she turned to leave.

"Babe-"

"No Nick, it's alright. You do what you need to. I'm okay." She told him with an amused smirk on her face as she looked at Maria, and kissed him before disappearing to the back.

"First off, you DO NOT talk to my wife that way! And second, _that kid_ has a name!" Nick said. "I know that you wanna forget that, hell, you wanna forget that you even had a kid-"

"I didn't wanna keep her to begin with, if you'd let me do things my way, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"You lousy bitch! Doing porn while you were pregnant, and snorting half of New York up your nose-"

"Enough of this! Say your piece and leave, Maria." Caesarea said calmly, seeing that Nick was already upset. If she could keep any of this from getting to Zara's ears, it would be worth it. Maria let out a long, exaggerated breath, rolling her eyes before she continued in a noticeably calmer voice.

"I came by cuz I wanted to talk to you about S- Zara." She said, picking at her nails. Just then, Caesarea's phone alerted her to a message that she checked right away and sighed.

"Mami, everything okay?"

"No. Tengo que ir, hay una emergencia en el hospital! I'll call later." She said and kissed and hugged Nick. "Tell Olivia and Zara I had to go." Then she headed out, giving Maria the evil eye as she left. She never did like Maria and somehow, without seeing her for five years, the feeling only intensified.

"And you know what? You can go too!"

"I haven't said what I came t-"

"I'm not interested, okay?"

"So you gonna be mad at me forever, is that it?"

"Don't you get it? I'm not mad Maria, I just don't care. It was a mistake that I slept with you in the first place but they happen and I got my princess out of it! She's healthy, and happy and well adjusted. No thanks to you; so you see, it's not that I'm mad, I just don't give a damn! Now get out!"

She stopped and looked around, then looked at Nick before grabbing her coat and purse from the couch. "I'm at the Marriott in Times Square, I'll be there for a week. You really should hear what I have to say." She said, before walking out in a huff, and slamming the door. Nick dragged a hand down his face, frustrated beyond belief, then slapped the fruit bowl from the counter, sending its contents falling all over the floor! In that moment, Liv appeared, standing in the doorway.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." He said somberly as he knelt to pick up the spilled contents of the bowl, which lay sideways, on it's lid.

"Let me do that." She said as she came over and knelt, helping with the mess.

"Liv, baby, you shouldn't be bending."

"I'm not bending, I'm squatting and it's good for my back." She smiled, hoping he would too as she gathered fruit. "besides, pregnancy won't stop me from being a clean-freak!" They cleaned up the fruit in silence, him standing and helping her up. She was holding the large bowl and sat it down on the countertop as she looked at him and saw his eyes; he was hurting.

"Nick-"

"Liv don't, just…" He said before he turned and went down the hall to the door, grabbed his coat and keys, and walked out, leaving Olivia standing there, about to cry.

...

In Zara's room…

"Aunt Casey, where's mommy and daddy?"

"I don't know sweetheart." She said, listening for a sound outside the bedroom, but she heard none. "Why don't you stay here a minute, I'm gonna see what's going on." She said and moved Zara off her lap, then left the room.

...

As Liv saw Casey come in, she quickly wiped her eyes and went about getting the vacuum to go over the floor and make sure all the bits from the fruit were cleaned up, though there was nothing. Miraculously, none of it had crushed, or even fallen apart when it hit the floor.

"You know you don't have to; I've seen a few tears." Casey said, talking over the low noise of the machine.

"I'm not, I just…" Olivia said as she cleaned the already-spotless floor and continued vacuuming.

"Who was that that came? I heard a woman's voice-"

"Zara's incubator!" Olivia nearly whispered.

"Her incu- Wait, Maria?!" Casey was thrown. The last she'd heard, the woman hadn't been around since Zara was born. "I don't…"

"...believe it? Neither do I, and neither did Nick!" Olivia said with tears shining in her eyes.

"Where is he? Where's Caesarea, for that matter?"

"I don't know where Caesarea is, and Nick; he needed some air...hell, I need some air!"

"Liv-"

"I'm okay." She said, cutting Casey off before she could finish and delve deeper. Olivia just didn't want to talk and prayed that Casey would take the hint as she turned off the vacuum, satisfied that the floor was now clean.

"You need me to stay?"

"Thanks but no. We'll be fine."

"I don't care what time, you call if you need anything, even just to talk." She said as she hugged Olivia.

"I will. Thanks Case." She said as Casey went to collect her things and leave. Liv locking the door afterwards. She was standing in the hall, thinking about calling Nick but knowing he needed this time to himself. This had been a big one for them all but for him; seeing the woman who gave birth to and then abandoned his child. Olivia had only met her for for five minutes and she could see that the woman was a handful, and not in a good way.

She wiped her eyes again before she started to go to Zara's room, turning the corner just in time to hear her phone ring from the counter, and so sure that it was Nick, she rushed to answer it. "Baby, where are you?" She said into the phone.

"I'm sitting here, just thinking." The voice said into her ear.

 _This isn't Nick!_ She thought, as her mind scrambled.

Linda, I miss you so much-" He said, and Olivia froze.

 _Manny_! Remembering what he did to her the last time she saw him, the last time she heard him. How he violated her both times, not that she ever could forget! But now, she could feel his hands all over her; in her. Knocking her to the floor and later using her for his sexual pleasure and she felt disgusted. Not thinking, she very quickly hung up the phone, blocking the number from it. She needed a shower. She'd be okay if she could just… _Breathe, Olivia!_ She told herself, and closed her eyes. _You're okay._

She wasn't paying attention when Zara came in from her room, and when Zara called out to her, it scared the daylights out of Olivia. "Mommy?" She said almost in a whisper, holding her unicorn. Olivia put a hand to her belly as she jumped, taking deep breaths when she realized that it was only Zara.

"Peanut…" She breathed. Her heart broke looking at her baby standing there, obviously worried, and just that fast, Olivia forgot about what was bothering her to focus on Zara.

"Where did everybody go?" Zara asked.

"Um, they had to leave baby."

"Daddy too?"

"I'm sorry." She said when she saw the look on Zara's face.

"Mommy, is daddy mad at me?"

"Baby; no." Olivia said to her as she picked Zara up and held her on the top of her swell; thankful that Zara wasn't too heavy and that she was carrying low. "Grownups sometimes, they go through things, and they get upset, but it's never about you, and I don't want you thinking it for even a minute, my love."

"But daddy-"

"Listen to me; you are the greatest joy in your father's life. He loves you more than anything in this world, and so do I." She said, and kissed the tip of Zara's nose. Zara immediately dropped and hugged Olivia's neck, then kissed her cheek and rested on her shoulder. "Hey, how about we get you a bath and then you and I can eat ice cream while we play a couple of those games we talked about? Sound good?"

"Yeah!" Zara said, suddenly excited again. Olivia was thankful that she could take her mind off of what she knew Zara had to have heard. And as the walked back to Zara's room… "Mommy, who was that loud lady I heard daddy yelling at?"

It would never end.

* * *

Four thirty AM in Dubai. Manny had left the club early, around two with a girl who barely spoke English, but she was a very willing partner. After they were done, and he put her in a car, back to her hotel, he started thinking back and he always came back to Olivia. He'd said a month ago that he was done but he couldn't seem to forget her, she had some kind of hold on him and no matter what he did, she wouldn't let it it go!

Though of course, this was just his imagination. There was no hold on him, at least not from her part. He on the other hand had quite an unnatural fixation with her, and it was this fixation that lead him to call her up, in spite of knowing that he shouldn't be contacting or even thinking about her. He'd managed to get away, to escape prosecution for what he'd done but he couldn't help himself. He called her up and when she answered that phone, and called him _baby_! But then just as quickly hung up. That bastard must have been there.

"He's probably monitoring her calls!" He thought to himself. He was further sinking into his own delusion. Being here, away from everybody. When he wasn't working, he had nothing but time to think about her, her face, her voice, her body. God her body. He can still remember the way she felt both inside and out.

 _...oh my god, I'm gonna cum!_

She'd whisper, making him completely crazy. And god would she cum! Heaping torrents, everywhere!

 _He'd had her on her knees, pounding her from behind when it came. Her head dropped to the pillow and she screamed so incredibly sexy, tightening her muscles on his dick while she cried out as it gushed out, but he just kept fucking her while she screamed until she pushed him out! But even then, he wasn't stopping and flipped her on her back, diving on her pussy with his mouth, absolutely having to taste it, to taste her again. And she was so sensitive there! She always was but get to it while making love, and it was magical._

Every time they fucked she would hold onto any part of him that she could in her frantic desperation to get closer to him while he damn near screwed the air from her lungs!

He needed to go back. But first, he needed to make sure that Nick was out of the picture. And he- why was his phone ringing at almost five o'clock in the morning? But then he thought that maybe it was her! Maybe she got a moment to herself and called him back, he thought as he scrambled to answer the the phone.

"Baby?"

Did he really just call her baby? _I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder!_ She smiled as she greeted him, finally. "Manny?"

Shit.

"I was so worried about you! You disappeared without a word and I just...I wanted to see how you've been doing."

"Amanda… It's, good to hear your voice." _Fuck!_ He'd been dodging her calls for weeks and now she gets him at almost five o-fucking-clock in the goddamn morning? SHIT!

* * *

Nick couldn't believe that she'd just walked back into their lives as if they were nothing; like it didn't matter the damage she would cause.

Five long years, and to be honest, the day she left was the happiest day of his life! She had been a mistake; a stupid drunken bar romp with a stripper while Manny was in town and they were hanging out. A hookup that the details are still fuzzy on but apparently the condom he wore broke in the middle of it and he was too drunk to stop the sex and she was too much of a freak to care. He woke up the next day feeling shit faced with just little bits in his mind of what happened the night before. He remembered her dancing at the club and trying to be seductive, but she wasn't really his type. Small breasted, and too petite so it was a shock when he woke up the next day, in bed, in a strange hotel with no clothes on. He remembered the kissing, the heavy make out session, and Maria trying to get his clothes off but nothing more. It was Manny who told him later on what happened, and then two months later, after having not seem her in all that time, Maria pops up to tell him that she's pregnant and wants money for an abortion.

Things happened, and he tried to be responsible. He convinced Maria to keep the baby, promising to be there for her, and that's when he found out about her drug habit, as well as the fact that she had been doing porn for about a two years when they met, and she had no intention of stopping either one! God knows, he tried to reign her in, but she'd always find a way to get it done! Whether dancing in the strip club, performing in porno movies, fucking random guys or just getting high; the arguments alone that he would have with her, they were like pure poison!

When Maria did a gangbang, in a film at eight and a half months, her labor started and she kept right on working. Her water broke on set but she just kept right on until the scene was finished and then casually went to the hospital and had a c-section. Zara was born weighing five and a half pounds and there was cocaine in her system. Of course Nick wasn't even aware of his daughter's birth until a day later and the first thing he did was get tested for paternity and he took one look at her and fell in love.

Of course, being addicted to cocaine, she was in the hospital for the better part of a month, during which Nick stayed with her day and night and Maria couldn't be bothered to get out of bed to come see about her. When Nick was finally allowed to bring Zara home, Maria wouldn't mother her. She'd barely touch the child and his mother took to being a surrogate. Finally when she was two months old, Maria dropped off papers to Caesarea's house, where she legally signed over her parental rights and skipped town. She was "tired of this, tired of Nick, tired of that kid" and she "couldn't do it anymore."

And now, after all these years of him raising that beautiful little girl while Maria was nowhere to be found, she just comes marching back in his life, claiming that she has something to tell him?

"Whatever it is…" He started, but didn't finish. He didn't care what she had to say. He wouldn't let her come into their lives with this bullshit. Zara was happy, happier than she's ever been and that was in part, a huge part because of Olivia. She's loved Zara from day one and has been a mother to her from the day they met. The two of them love each other more than even he could say, and there is nothing that he could ever here from Maria to change that. Suddenly, he didn't feel like he needed to be by himself, and he headed home to be with his wife and daughter.

* * *

Such a stupid bitch! He thought to himself of Amanda, and laughed, as he snorted another line up his his nose. He leaned back in the living room chair to relax, while he listened to The Isley Brothers. Six AM, and he was on a cloud, feeling no pain!

 _Driftin on a memory_

 _Ain't no place I'd rather be_

 _Than with you…lovin you…_

But he'd keep her number, never know when it might come in handy. _"Day will make a way for night, All we'll need is candlelight and a song...Soft and long…"_ He sang along, in a slightly off key voice, and somewhat behind the lyrics but he didn't care. God this song made him think of Olivia, he thought as he sniffed yet another line, and then another, pinching his nostrils after. He was high, and he felt damn good!

 _Glad to be here,_

 _A_ _lone with a lover unlike no other. Sad to see_

 _A new horizon slowly comin' into view…_

"Don't worry baby, we'll be together again, sooner than you think! _"I wanna be living, for the love of youuu…"_

* * *

She knew it. There was just no way that Manny could have done this and she was just glad that she finally cleared it up; heard it from his own mouth.

" _Listen, I can't get into it right now, but I need you to believe me, I didn't rape her, and I didn't purposely put her in that coma, I swear to you. This was all just a really, really unfortunate misunderstanding, that I've been made the fall guy in…."_

He didn't rape Olivia. She knew he couldn't have and he promised to give her the whole story when time allowed it. But the important thing was, he didn't do it!

 _But if he didn't do it, then why did he run?_ She heard her inner voice ask, and truthfully, she had no recourse. But she knew Liv, and she knew (or thought she knew) Manny, and though Liv didn't talk about it, there had to be more to this and she just couldn't wait until Manny got the time to talk and tell her what; maybe she could help them straighten this whole mess out! And maybe, she could have some more of Manny in the process!

* * *

Nick came in the door, and not hearing anything, he hung his coat and walked quietly into the livingroom, where he was surprised to see Olivia up, cleaning the living room.

"You're home."

"Yeah." He said, standing there by the armchair and feeling like the biggest idiot. "Where's Zara?"

"She fell asleep about ten minutes ago." Olivia said, putting the games away.

"I know she probably has questions-"

"She does...so do I. I was so worried about you." She said, deciding right there that she'd tell him about Manny another day. Right now, he needed her.

"I'm okay."

"I saw how much you were hurting, but honey, you can't just walk out like that. That's what I'm here for, so you can talk to me about what's bothering you."

"I know, that's why I came home. Except, I'm not upset anymore."

"You're not?"

"No. I realized that I doesn't matter. You, me and Zara, we're happy here and no matter what Maria says, you're her mother. The only one she's ever known, and nothing can change that. We're a family, always." He said as he took her hand, and pulled her gently into him.

"That's the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me!" She mused, crying tears.

"Why are you crying?"

"Hormones...happiness. With you, with Zee and these babies. I never thought I'd have this, and I'm just… You really see me as her mom!" She cried as she buried her face against his shoulder.

"Because that's what you are!" He kissed her head before taking her tear stained face between his hands. "I love you!" He said sweetly and kissed her lips just as sweet, but soon turning passionate and they both felt it, especially Olivia. Wanting to tear his clothes off right there!

"I'm gonna go shower before bed, why don't you join me?"

"You go ahead, I'm just gonna look in on Zee and I'll be right there."

She kissed him again, before they separated.

...

He stood over Zara's bed and just watched her for a moment. She always did look so sweet when she slept. Taking a few steps, he leaned over and gave her a big kiss.

"Momma and I, we love you princess!"

"Love you too daddy!" She said as she turned on her side, clutching her unicorn and continued sleeping, snoring lightly. Nick smiled before kissing her again, then adjusted her covers before he started out.

"Goodnight, mi amor." He whispered, closing her door as he left and went down the hall to he and Liv's bedroom.

...

In the shower, Olivia was lathering her body when she started thinking of what she'd done, so many months ago in this very shower.

 _...he basically impaled her and began thrusting hard and fast, giving her no time to adjust! She had definite shock on her face, and no sound would emit from her as she had tears in her eyes at the size of him but God, even with the stretching her body was doing to accommodate him, he felt so fucking good that she let the tears flow as she found her voice and began spewing a litany of Oh My Gods! Being able to say nothing more!_

She quickly shook it out of her head; Manny was a part of the past, and that morning…

"Hey." Nick said as he came into the shower.

"I was wondering when you'd get here."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She said as she kissed him slowly. She'd gotten so wet for him, just that fast. "I love you!" She whispered against his mouth and he slid his tongue into hers, devouring her mouth as the suds from her body transferred to his and he reached to squeeze her nipples and tease her slit as they kissed. She felt his dick rise against her growing stomach, and when he lifted her up and slid her down on his rock hard erection, she broke the kiss and let out a cry. God this man, she loved him so completely!

* * *

 **TBC...**


	42. Secrets Long Kept

**Chapter 42**

* * *

.

"You okay?" He whispered, moving inside her as easily as he could.

"I'm... How can you feel this good?" She could take him all day and never get enough. "Oh god..." She cried between kisses and began to move her hips when she felt like she would die from the pleasure of him up against her g-spot. Slowly, she moved her hips up and down on him and moaning quite loud, despite her attempts to keep it down, but he was just feeling too good!

"If you wake Zara …" He whispered as she continued on top of him and dropped her mouth open before she caressed his face and kissed his lips. That was all it took for him to change positions, flipping her as his strokes got stronger. He never asked her if his brother was a better lover because the simple fact was, Manny may have been good, but Nick knew that he had nothing on him. He knew his wife, if it hadn't been enough to make her toes curl from the start, they wouldn't have been together and they wouldn't have stayed together and right now, trying their best to keep the noise down, he was doing some serious toe curling, fucking her as if nothing else mattered.

...

After a night of lovemaking, both worn out. Nick and Olivia had settled into a peaceful sleep with her laying across his chest. Of course, Nick being a light sleeper, it took his phone to ring just once before he was awake, reaching for it in the dark with his eyes closed. And grabbed it from the nightstand on the second ring.

"Yeah, Amaro?" He mumbled sleepily into the phone. "...what, now? Yeah, okay. I'll be there in a half hour...okay." And he hung up. _Damn!_ He hated to leave in the middle of the night, but he hated even more to leave Olivia's warm, naked body. He knew that she didn't believe him, but he thought she was so gorgeous, and sexy since she'd gotten pregnant. And the more her body filled out and her belly grew, he was like an addict.

Sighing, he kissed her head and gently rolled her off of him then slipped out of bed, guessing that morning lovemaking session he'd planned was canceled!

...

Early the next morning, as the apartment was quiet and the sun broke through the window, Olivia opened her eyes and reached for Nick, to find his side of the bed empty, a note on his pillow.

 _Mami,_

 _Sorry, got called in. Gimme a ring when you're up._

 _I love you,_

 _N_ _ick_

She smiled at the note as she picked up her phone from the nightstand and dialed him…

"Hey babe." He answered on the first ring.

"Hey, I woke up to your note. It's too bad, I was hoping we could've…"

"Don't remind me." He laughed. "How're you feeling, you okay?"

"I'm okay. I'm a little nauseous already, but I'm better now that I hear your voice."

"Me too. You try to take it easy. Anyway, I'd better go, I'm a little busy, but I'll call later. Hopefully I'll be outta here soon."

"Be careful. I love you!"

"I love you too, kiss my princess for me!"

"I will." She said and ended the call, then moved the covers off her naked stomach. Rubbing it in the process. She took a minute to see if she could feel anything coming from the twins, feeling around on different areas of her growing belly and letting her hand rest before she gave up."Please move for momma, just a little?" She asked of the twins and waited. Nothing. "One of you?" Again. Nothing, and she let out a small sigh before she got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

...

She was washing her hands at the sink a few minutes later when her mind began to wander.

" _Please stop… Please!" She begged. But he wouldn't listen. He was enraged and hell bent on showing her._

" _Shut up!" He yelled, grabbing her hair and yanking her head backwards. She remembered how he pushed hard into her asshole and she was just unprepared for the pain, screaming into his hand that was clamped over her mouth. She thought she'd pass out! But no such luck came to her and he continued, forcing himself to move viciously within her. And when he finally pulled out, she thought he was done but he only wanted to spit on his cock to give it some lubrication before he rammed it back into her!_

She snapped out of it when she felt the scorching heat of the water burning her hands, and quickly snatched them out. And while turning off the faucet, she wondered if she'd ever forget that night. She wished that she could forget everything that ever happened between the two of them; just erase the sex, but that night, she'd give almost anything to forget. She thought that she was done being reminded, but then when he called her last night, it all came flooding back, and she just wanted to crawl into the deepest hole she could find and just die!

She knew one thing; she needed to tell her husband about the phone call. She wouldn't go down this road again, no matter how insignificant it seemed. She wouldn't lie to or omit anything from Nick, ever again. And suddenly, she had an epiphany. She wondered, now that she had a clear head, if that phone call, and Maria suddenly popping up after five years were at all connected? It was just too close to be a coincidence, she thought as she felt her nausea getting worse and rubbed her stomach on the top of her swell, and took a deep breath to allay the inevitable, but she could feel it coming up and was so glad that she was near the toilet as she turned and sprinted for it.

* * *

"When are they gonna move?" Zara said eagerly as she rested her head on Olivia's stomach as they sat in the restaurant having brunch. but Zara decided to. pass the time where they were waiting for their food to come. "I want to feel them." It seemed like she'd been waiting for this forever.

"I know peanut. But you won't exactly be able to feel them for a while when they do move."

"Why?"

"Well, it's so faint that it'll be something only I can feel from inside. But, unfortunately they won't move for me either. I guess we just have to be patient." Olivia laughed while the other diners and even the staff of the restaurant looked on, so amused at the beautiful little girl playing with her mommy's tummy as Zara tried tickling her belly to make the babies move. Although, Olivia was anything but patient and waited just as eagerly as their big sister to feel them move. "Okay, kiddo. How about you sit and eat?" She said as the waitress came with their food. A giant Belgian waffle with caramelized bananas and whipped cream for Zara and fruit salad for Olivia.

"Here we are." The waitress said as she set their food on the table.

"Did you remember to put an ice cube in my daughter's hot chocolate?" Olivia asked her, worried that Zara would burn her tongue.

"I did, and extra whipped cream and marshmallows." She turned and said to Zara, and gave her a wink and smiled.

"Thank you!" Zara said as she picked up her mug to take a sip, getting whipped cream on her nose. Olivia grinned at her as she cut her waffle. Zara just smiled and took another sip as Liv went about cutting her food for her. "Daddy!" She said excited as she saw Nick enter the restaurant, running to him with whipped cream on her nose.

"Hey my love!" He cried as he scooped her up and kissed her. Then wiped the whipped cream from her nose with his finger and put it in his mouth. "Lemme guess, hot cocoa?"

"How did you know?"

"I'm psychic!" He said as he approached the table and put Zara down to go back to her seat. "Hey babe!"

"What are you doing here?" Olivia said, delightfully surprised as she finished with Zara's waffle and kissed Nick.

"Thank you mommy!" Zara said as she dug right in.

"We got a confession, so I thought I'd come have brunch with my two favorite girls." He said as he took a seat and the waitress came over.

"Hi, can I get you anything?" She asked Nick.

"Yeah, a vegetable omelet and coffee please. Thanks. Look at you, fruit salad?" He said to Olivia. Glad that she was having something other than ginger ale for breakfast.

"I'm trying." She smiled, giving him a bite, then taking one herself when she suddenly dropped her fork into the bowl and put her hands to her belly, a look of wonder on her face.

"Liv?"

She sat there in her seat, a far away look on her face but she was smiling as tears came to her eyes, and it happened again. She was absolutely sure this time as she spoke. "Nick, they moved!"

"What?" He said as he leaned forward in his seat and placed both hands on her belly. Zara was just completely excited, forgetting about her breakfast and clapping her hands together as she squealed happily.

* * *

At the Marriott…

"What do you want?" Maria said into the phone, with her accent.

"That's no way to greet me."

"Fuck off!" She was already annoyed. "I went to him last night, and they all looked at me like I was crazy, which might I add, they were right to do."

" _They all?_ What do you mean?"

"Nicky, the wife and your mother! That old bitch still looks at me with the evil eye; gives me the cree-" She started to say but Manny cut her off.

"My mom was there?"

"Duh! You know, I don't know why-"

"Would you have me tell him" He asked, quickly deciding that he'd deal with this mom business after Maria.

"I'd rather he not know! Why are you doing this?"

"Not your concern. Did you do it?"

"He wouldn't hear me. And after five years, can you blame him?"

"Well, you just gotta try harder until he does."

"You are still the same sick bastard you were back then!"

"You stupid bitch, I didn't ask you all of that. Just get to what you came there for, and when I call you next time, it better be done!"

"Or...or, you could come and do it yourself! How bout that?"

"Get it done!" He said, emotionless and hung up.

"God, you fuckwad!" She cursed at the phone, then thought back to the night she met Nick.

 _She had been eyeing then from the moment she got on stage. Nick was at the strip club with with his brother and some guy whose name she can't remember, but she did remember that that particular night, they were the three best looking men in the club. All of them tall, and extremely good looking. But she'd had her eye on one of them all night. Nick!_

 _As the evening wore on and the guys got even drunker, she kept hitting on him. Giving him lapdances and even whispering in his ear how badly she wanted to fuck him, but even drunk, he was a gentleman and politely told her "no thank you, sweetheart."_

 _Thinking back, she knows now that she was the wrong type for him, but that night, she just wanted to fuck him so bad! She could see the print of his dick in his slacks and she needed it! Finally, after the three of them were drunk off their asses, and she had danced on the stage. He was at the point of no resistance and the three of them went back to her room above the club and she and Nick engaged in a heavy make out session, that involved removing their clothes but then she got on top of him and was getting him hard when he suddenly passed out before anything could happen. Feeling rejected, she got Manny and Tristan, the third guy who was with them and they were more than happy to fill in; but only if they could double team her- and she let them; gladly while Nick lay passed out in the bed!_

 _They never did anything that night. Besides kissing and he fingered her to an orgasm. And when she found out a month later that she was pregnant, she had no idea who the father could be. And taking a chance after she couldn't locate Manny or Tristan, who had both gone back to Miami since then. She pinned it on Nick, knowing that he didn't remember._

 _She thought she'd get some money for an abortion; she didn't want a kid, ever. But when she tracked him down and told him, along with "there was nobody else" instead of just giving her the money to abort. He convinced her to keep the baby, promising to take care of everything._

She wished for years that she hadn't lied. She may have been somewhat irresponsible, but that lie, she still regretted it until this day. Even more so when the little girl was born and she looked at her. It's why she didn't call Nick to tell him that she had been born for a whole day. She couldn't do it. But then Nick ordered a paternity test and it came back saying he was the dad. She knew right there that it was his brother, but didn't say a word! Even though, every day she was reminded of her lies. Finally she couldn't take it anymore. She'd never wanted that baby to begin with and with that paternity test to save her ass, she signed away her rights to the kid and got the hell out. She never intended to ever tell Nick that he wasn't that child's father. But then here comes Manny, after five years, threatening that he's gonna tell him if she doesn't and sue for custody. And to be honest, she knows that Nick and his family hate her, but she'd rather that it come from her that that prick!

God, she wishes that she'd been honest five years ago!

* * *

But Manny wasn't thinking of Zara when he made that call to Maria. He was thinking of one thing and one thing only, and that was getting Olivia to drop the charges against him. The sooner she did that, the sooner he could get back to New York and put things in order.

"Now I only have to wonder what the fuck was mom doing at their house?" Manny asked himself as he stepped into the shower.

* * *

"I'm so sorry, but they called me in for work and I have to-" Casey started but Olivia quickly stopped her.

"Case, it's okay. Maybe we'll drive up on our lunch breaks this week… Okay. I'll see you tomorrow." Olivia said and hung up just as Nick was coming from Zara's room.

"That kid has too much stuff!"

"Come here, I need talk to you about something." She said as she took his hands and lead him to the couch.

"Mami, I told you, I'm over it-"

"It's not about Maria; um…" She said as they sat down. "Nick...Manny called me last night."

"He did-"

"I was only on the phone maybe thirty seconds, but I don't know; it caught me off guard."

"What did he say?"

"That he misses me… I thought it was you calling- and when I realized it wasn't, I hung up!"

"That was all?"

"It was and when it happened I didn't think about it, but now I'm wondering if it has something to do with why Maria suddenly showed up. Nick he's up to something, and I don't know what, but I can feel it!"

* * *

Just after three, and Caesarea was just getting into her house, dog tired from working over a very long shift at the hospital. She entered the front door, removed her keys and dropped her things right there in the entryway, then tossed her keys down on the little coffee table and removed her coat and hung it on the rack.

She'd be skipping afternoon mass today, she thought as she made her way to the living room and laid back on her couch, closing her eyes and immediately, all the things she'd pushed from her mind in order to work effectively last night and today came back, playing like a loop and she lay there with her eyes closed, seeing it all.

 _First this mess with my son and daughter in law in law is finally put to rest and now, that damn Maria! Who does she think she is showing up like that?_ She said to herself, then closed her eyes. But soon she had them open again.

 _"I didn't wanna keep her to begin with, if you'd let me do things my way, we wouldn't be having this conversation."_

Nick was so right. God forgive her, but Maria is a lousy bitch! Always had been and always will be. She'd never change and Zara didn't deserve this. Neither did Nick or Olivia. Maria had been gone all of Zara's life, so why come back now? Caesarea didn't know, but she couldn't get to sleep now, and she reached for her phone to call Nick and Olivia when the doorbell rang.

She finally forced herself up from the couch and made it to the door as whoever was on the other side was busy with ringing the doorbell into oblivion. "Hold on, I'm coming." She said and reached the door, disappoint need when she opened it and saw Maria standing there, and she was about to curse her when she was cut off.

"Before you say anything" Maria said. "...I need your help!"

* * *

 **TBC… Reviews would be lovely.**


	43. You May Not Like My Methods

**Chapter 43**

* * *

.

At Caesarea's, the mood was one of quiet and shock as she sat in the chair, at the table, in her kitchen, trying to absorb the utter bombshell that Maria just dropped into her lap. She couldn't believe it. Nineteen minutes ago, everything in her world (aside from Manny) was how she knew it to be, how it was. Everything in her world, she could count on. Just like Tuesday coming before Wednesday. Everything would follow like it should. Everything existed in an order; a working order. And now, this woman. This…. Maria, was here and she was telling her… What was she telling her? Because certainly this, this couldn't be true! She had just been thinking of a way to confront Manny about Olivia. How could this be happening?

"Mrs. Ama-" Maria started but was quickly interrupted by Caesarea's hand as it went up, telling her to silence. And once again, the room was quiet as Caesarea sat there, just staring at the refrigerator.

Magnets. She'd never noticed before just how many magnets she had. There were food magnets and little household appliance magnets. But probably her favorite were the alphabet magnets that spelled out 'Zara'. And then suddenly out of nowhere, she reached across the table and delivered a hard slap to Maria's face that made her head fly to the side as she grabbed her cheek and tears sprang to her eyes, but she dared not speak.

"Nicolas gave Zara her name, you know."

"I know." Maria said quietly, her cheek throbbing as she cried silently.

"It means, _princess._ From the first time he saw her… How could you do this?!"

"I was in a bad place. Nicolas had talked me into having her and that's not what I wanted. I wanted to abort her so that I could just move on with my life. But from the moment he knew, he was just so adamant. Then when I got to know the family, I saw that she'd be safe here."

"So that's it? You just lied, thanking god when that test came back saying she was ours… And Manny… He knew about this all along, he knew?"

"It's why I need your help. I know that I've done a lot of bad things, and I don't know, maybe one day I'll need to answer for them. But the one thing I did right was leaving that little girl with Nicky. He loves her, and to Manny she's just a pawn! I didn't come back here for trouble. If that child never saw me again, I'd thank god!"

"Right, because your life is so great, right?"

"No, because _hers_ is. She's got a father that loves her and a mom who's doing what I couldn't!" She said as her tears flowed. "I may not want her, but I don't wanna wreck her life. And I don't know why Manny's bringing this up after all these years, but he's threatening to go after custody if I don't tell Nicky the truth, but he can't know this; it would kill him."

"You'll say nothing."

"But-"

"Are you serious about not wanting to disturb Zara's life?"

"Yes."

"Then leave it to me. Go about your business here and leave. You don't answer Manny's calls. Hell, change your number-"

"I don't even know how he got this one. I haven't spoken to him in five years."

"Go back to that. I'll handle it!"

"Mrs. Amaro-" But Caesarea looked her long and deep in the eye. A look that let Maria know that this issue was already put to bed.

"I'll handle it!"

* * *

"Daddy?"

"Yeah baby?"

"The babies are in mommy's tummy, right?"

"Right."

"And they're gonna get bigger; right?"

"I don't like where this is going." He said before he answered Zara. "That's right."

"Well, when they get big enough to be borned, how do they get out?"

"How do they-? You know what, why don't I let you and mommy talk about that later?" He said as Olivia entered the room.

"...another thing I'll be glad about once we move, I have a laundry room!" Olivia said to Nick, smiling as she came by with a laundry basket full of clothes and laundry detergent that she rested on the back of the sofa.

"Mommy, daddy said you'll tell me how the babies get out."

"Oh, did he?" She said, smiling and looking at Nick.

"You know, you shouldn't be lugging that babe." He said and got up to take it from her hands. "It's a long trip to the basement."

"Nicolas-"

"I know, I know. You're not handicapped, you're pregnant!"

"Right, so let me do the laundry!"She laughed, tugging the basket from his grip, but he was a lot stronger than she was.

"If you can get it from my hands." He smiled, then kissed her, quick, and sweet on the lips.

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"I wanna go to the laundry room!" Zara popped up from the sofa where she had been reading a book with Nick, seeming forgetting her question. "Can I mommy?"

"I guess. Don't let her have anything from the vending machines, dinner is soon."

"Yes ma'am!" He said, walking out with Zara. Olivia stood there for a moment, then went to the kitchen and poured a glass of orange juice. She was standing by the sink, drinking it and rubbing the scar at her temple, when the started to think back.

 _"I don't love you, I don't want you!" She cried._

 _"Of course you do. You're just confused because we haven't been together in so long but you know what I think? I think you need some more of me." Manny said, matter-of-factly._

 _"No, no look at me! You can go and I won't tell Nick or the police or anyone, just please don't do this again, I'm begging you!"_

 _"Do what again...WHAT? You're still going with this story of me forcing you that last time? Well guess what, Olivia, I DID NOT RAPE YOU!" He screamed as she jumped._

 _"Manny please!"_

 _"I told you before Linda, I'm gonna be the only man you want and we can do it the easy way or the hard way!" He said as he grabbed her face and kissed her, forcing his tongue down her throat as she tried to pull away. But he was adamant and held her hair even tighter as he assaulted her mouth. "Come with me" He said as he got up and pulled her with him._

 _"NO!" She cried as she pulled away and started to run, but he caught her, by her dress and she slipped, going down..._

She was pulled from the memory by the sound of her phone ringing, and it took he a minute before she was lucent enough to answer it. But when she walked over to the counter and saw who it was, she froze for just a minute before she reached for the phone and answered it.

"Emmanuel?" She croaked out, trying to put on a brave voice.

"I thought that after you hung up on me yesterday, that you were upset, but then I thought about it and I knew I had to be N-"

"Where are you?" She asked, disgusted. She didn't want to hear him say another bad thing about Nick.

"Dubai. You should see it, it's beautiful here. Maybe someday when this is all behind us-"

"Behind us?"

"That bullshit rape charge; it's okay you know, I know that Nick made you do it." But there it came anyway.

"It wasn't bullshit, and he didn't. I told the authorities because of you, because of what _you_ did!"

"I did what I did because you had to learn! Nick told you he didn't want you and yet you still wanted to go after him, you still tried to deny me; you needed to fucked like an animal and taught a lesson!" She felt sick. Not just from talking to him, but hearing him try to justify what he did to her. She wanted to scream! "...and as for that coma, well, accidents happen."

Unable to hold it in any Longer, she broke. "Go to hell you bastard! I swear to you, you will pay for what you've done to me, if I have to do it myself you sick fuck! That's a promise! Do you hear me Manny? A promise!"

"Check your email, I thought I'd send you something to remember us by." And the line went dead. She stared at the phone for a moment, then she quickly she sat on the edge of the sofa and pulled up her email. There, right at the top was an email from Manny and she could see that there was a file attached to it. Not thinking of putting in headphones, she opened the email and clicked the attachment. Suddenly, the screen opened and there she was, with him, naked on the bed, in his hotel room!

"No!" She whispered to herself, in shock. She watched as she was on his lap facing him as he fucked her. He was pulling her hair back as he bit her breast, and she cried out.

" _You remember this?"_ The sound of his voice came from the video in an overlay. _"God, I fucked you so good! And you, you were insatiable!"_

She could hear everything that was going on in the video. Her begging him not to stop in spite of, she remembered, how much she was hurting at this point. He had already fucked her silly on top of the desk in the living room and she'd come hard. Still, he hadn't bothered stopping and fucked her through it then into the bedroom. She thought she couldn't take more pleasure, but she was wrong as she felt another orgasm building. " _Oh god, oh god, oh god...Manny, FUUUCK!"_ She said in tears, and fell back against the mattress in total ecstasy! She had come again, hard and was trying to ride it out as she twitched and writhed.

" _How many times had you come at that point? It was so warm on my dick, especially when you squirted!" He laughed. "...you wouldn't let my cock go, remember that? But I wiggled free so I could taste you- damn you tasted so good!"_

Manny didn't miss a beat. He quickly put his head down between her legs and licked her up her entire slit from ass to clit, before he dove in on her pussy, tongue kissing, probing deep with his tongue and sucking her juices. She remembered in that moment, thinking how he must have learned that from Nick!

"Come here!" He demanded, stopping abruptly and grabbed her waist with both hands.

"Manny…" She started, but when he began pounding into her, hard and deep, her thoughts died on her lips. She felt him in her stomach as he repeatedly hit her cervix and she, through ragged breaths and groans and screams, tried to speak but couldn't get a word out!

" _I guess I took your breath away!"_

"How did he do this?" She cried. "There was no camera that I saw!" Suddenly, she heard Nick and Zara come in, and she quickly shut off the phone, throwing it on the coffee table and wiping her eyes just as they turned the corner.

"Who were you talking to?" Nick asked.

"Nobody; it was the television." She lied and started towards the kitchen rubbing the side of her head. She suddenly had a pounding headache and felt sick to her stomach.

"Daddy let me load the washer!" Zara announced happily as she smiled and hugged Olivia around her middle.

"He did?" She said, trying to sound as if everything were alright but her voice betrayed her.

"Babe, everything okay?"

"I...yeah. I'm gonna go and finish dinner. Why don't you help Zee with her vocabulary words."

"But I wanna help cook! Please mommy? I can do my vocabulary words after dinner." Zara said, standing with her hands folded in supposition.

"Okay, get the footstool." Olivia said smiling wanly as Zara ran off to the kitchen.

"the television isn't on." Nick said to Olivia speaking to her quietly and grabbing her gently by the elbow to turn her towards him.

"...because I just turned it off." She said, unable to look him in the eye. "Dinner will be ready soon." She said before she headed to the kitchen.

* * *

Over at the precinct, the day had been a slow one and the detectives sat at their desks, some catching up on paperwork but mostly they were just sitting around, bored.

"Look at this" Fin said, staring at the computer.

"What is it?" Munch said as he came over to look. But Amanda just sat at her desk.

"Is that…?" Said Munch.

"Yep. Smiling bright and living carefree. Says this is him at the opening of some club he oversaw the construction of."

"He"s hanging out with filthy rich sheiks instead of here, facing the charges against him. Liv will love that." Munch said sarcastically.

"Speaking of Liv, any news on Manny?" Amanda said as she came out of her dream land and joined Munch and Fin in the real world. Fin and Munch looked at each other before looking at Amanda.

"Partying it up in Dubai, according to this." Fin turned his screen around to face her She looked at it for a quick moment, then turned away.

"Where is this?" She asked.

"Dubai." Munch piped up.

"No extradition treaty." She half asked/half informed.

"Don't worry. We'll get him." Fin said.

"You know, we still don't have proof that Manny did this." She said.

"We don't have proof that we landed on the moon, but we know did!"

"Actually-" Munch said on his way down the hall.

"Shut up Munch! Besides, what are you sayin, Amanda? We have Liv. She said he did it, and I'm inclined to believe her."

"Look, a lot happened when she went into that coma. Maybe she's confused."

"Are you serious? Cuz if you are, then you don't know Olivia Benson. She would never make an unfounded accusation like this; rape? Come on Amanda!"

"I'm just sayin-"

"Sayin what? There's no confusion. If Olivia says he raped her, then you can best believe he did it; hell, even Nick's not disputing that fact and this is his own brother we're talking about! I know that you don't wanna think it, but there's no gray area here. Sometimes, it's just black and white and that's all!

"I hate to think this, but what if it was Nick?"

"You are not serious! How-"

"They found Nick's DNA in her and on her."

"And that's been explained! Have you read her statement?"

"Several times, and you gotta admit, there's holes in it!"

"No, _you_ have to admit it! I believe my friends, two hundred percent, no questions asked. And I'm surprised that you don't. Nick's not that kind of guy, and if he was-"

"If he was, what? Okay, they have Zara, she had an affair, and she's pregnant with his babies-"

"Olivia wouldn't put up with that, no matter what the situation. And you act as if you don't know Nick!"

"That's the thing; you're not a woman, cuz if you were you'd know that we can put up with a lot more than you think!"

"Children" Munch interjected upon returning from the bathroom. "We're in the middle of a workplace!"

"I'm sorry. And I'm just looking at this objectively, that's all. You never know what a man can do when he's pushed to the limit." Amanda said as she went back to her desk

"And I'm gonna ignore everything you just said for the sanctity of us working together, and the sake of our friendship. But you're wrong!" Fin said and turned his computer screen around.

* * *

In Dubai, in Manny's living room…

"That video should get her nice and hot!" He laughed to himself as she sipped his club soda . Not realizing that that video would do nothing more for Olivia than remind her of the worst mistake of her life, and now had her debating and obsessing over whether or not to show it to Nick. "God, I have so many plans for us, Linda. And once I get Nick out of the picture, we can start making it happen." He said out loud to no one. He was about to get up when his phone rang and he saw that it was his mother. Quickly perking up, he answered the phone.

"Hey mami!"

"First I have to come to terms that you did it-"

"Mami, what are you-"

"NO JUEGUES CONMIGO, EMMANUEL! You raped her!"

"Mami-"

"How stupid was I that I took your side, in all of it? Mi bebé, mi corazón."

"Mami, sigo siendo tu corazón."

"You know Manny, I've tried hard to think of a way to tell you that I didn't believe you anymore. Because I still didn't want to hurt you."

"Don't say that."

"But then I find out that in addition to being a rapist, you're virtually trying to destroy this family!"

"What are you-?"

"Save it. Maria told me everything."

"Look, whatever she told you, she's-"

"¡No me mientas!"

"Mami, I'm not!"

"What happened to you? Huh? I went wrong somewhere, because I don't understand this- need you have to make your brother's life miserable!"

"Always about Nick!"

"No, Emmanuel, this is about you! Sleeping with your brothers' wife-"

"She was willing!"

"And nobody disagrees with that! She admits that she was wrong, but to rape her when she tried to end it? To brutalize her when you didn't agree with the paternity results? You almost killed her, but even that wasn't enough-"

"I'm not listening to this!"

"Hang up this phone, Manny, and I swear. I will come there and I will whip your ass back across the ocean!"

"Mami, what do you want me to say? Hmm? Cuz no matter what I tell you, you're not gonna believe me."

"Manny, stop. Please just stop it. You can't keep doing this. Your brother, who used to mean everything to you, and you to him. You two are at war now, because of what you did and now you want to destroy him by telling him that he's not Zara's father?"

"So you know?"

"I told you, Maria told me everything, and now you are going to listen good, because I've got a few things to say!"

* * *

After dinner, while Nick spent time with Zara, Olivia spent her time. trying to relax in a bubble bath that Nick had drawn for her, after seeing how tightly wound she was. Her mind was just so inundated with thoughts of Manny, and thoughts of Nick. Wishing to god that she'd never begun the affair, but knowing that she can never undo it. Now as she lay in the tub, she still couldn't stop thinking of that call a few hours ago.

 _He's slipping further into his madness, and it's causing me to slowly, lose my sanity!ll_

"...you wouldn't be losing your sanity if you'd just kept your legs closed!" She said out loud, to no one, then suddenly, her hands went to her belly. and she caressed her bump when she felt the babies move again. She'd never felt anything so completely strange, yet beautiful. And though at this point, it was only basically flutters that she felt, they were the most amazing things she'd ever experienced happening in her own body! She took a moment to lose herself in the joy she felt but she was soon brought out of her reverie when Nick came knocking at the door and poked his head in.

"Mami, you got a visitor out here." He said smiling before Zara came bursting into the bathroom.

"Hey peanut!"

"Hi mommy. I just wanted to say goodnight, and I love you!"

"I love you too, sweet girl. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay." Zara said as she reached out to hug Olivia's neck, then gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Goodnight babies! Mommy, are they still moving around?"

"They are. You wanna try and feel?"

"Yes!" Zara said as Olivia took her hand and put it beneath the water, letting Zara touch her belly.

"Can you feel them?"

"Not yet!" She said, a slight pout on her lips. "I'll sure be glad when they're bigger! Hurry and grow, babies!" She said as she withdrew from the water and Nick dried her hands while he and Olivia smiled. "Come on daddy."

"Why don't you pick out a story and I'll be right in." He told her.

"Okay. Goodnight mommy, for real this time!" And she ran out of the bathroom before Olivia could speak and as Nick kneeled down and put his hand in the water to feel her belly.

"Did I tell you how much I love you, today?" He asked.

"You did but I can stand to hear it again."

"I do. I love you so much!" He said and kissed her hand. "and I know that you're worried about us, but, as far as I'm concerned, we're past it. Everything!"

"You mean that?" She said, worrying about Manny. She couldn't risk that maybe he'd decide to send Nick that same email, but didn't know if telling him was the best route either.

"We're moving into a new home, and preparing to greet these two miracles in a few months, even though they won't let daddy feel them moving." That made her smile in spite of her worries. "I never got to do this stuff with Zara. Anyway, I better get in there before she falls asleep. But we're gonna be fine." He said as he dried his hand while he kissed her lips sweetly. She smiled he left, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

She sat there for another moment caressing her belly before she moved to drain the water and get up and out. Once she carefully got out of the tub, she grabbed the nice and thick beige towel and wrapped it around herself before she walked to the mirror and cleaned the steam from it with her arm, then stood looking at herself as she wiped the tears that were in her eyes. She wouldn't allow Manny to mess up this second chance with Nick; she'd fought too hard to get him back.

If she could tell Nick about yesterday's call, then she had to believe that she could find it in her to tell him about today's. Besides, she just knew that Manny was planning to send him that video, and if it was going to come from anybody, it would be her. She only prayed that Nick would find a way to understand.

...

Zara had fallen asleep fast, when Nick was only in the middle of the second page! He kissed her, and made sure she had her unicorn before he adjusted her covers and out the book down in the chair before turning out the light and exiting the room, leaving the door ajar as he went to the living room, figuring he'd get caught up on his personal email before he went to bed, and he grabbed his Macbook from the coffee table and sat down on the couch as he opened it and went to his email.

He'd gone through and answered a few of them. Clicking on facetime when he noticed a call from Fin and he took the call while he continued with his email.

"Hey, how'd everything go with the house?" Fin asked.

"She loved it man!" Nick said as he typed a response to an email. "I can't thank you enough for your help this last month!"

"Ay man, don't mention it, I'm just glad I could help. You busy tomorrow after work? I was thinking we could go shoot some pool." But right then was when Nick saw the email from Manny.

"Well, as of now, I'm free but I'll see if Liv can spare me." He said as he opened the email and saw the attachment. It was a video. "Hey Fin, lemme get back to you."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow." He said, and hung up. "What the hell do you want Manny? And what is this?" He asked himself as he clicked the link, to a buffering video just as Olivia came from the back, in her pajamas.

"Nick." She called from where she stood in the archway, nervously picking at the hem of her shirt.

"Yeah"

*I um, I need to talk to you; now. What are you watching?" She asked as she noticed the computer when she came over to the couch.

"I don't know, it's something that Manny sent to me...I shouldn't have even opened it!" He said, and closed it out. With her eyes full of tears, she looked at him. "Mami, what's wrong?" He asked, as she nervously walked over to the window and looked out. Surprisingly it was a clear night and she could see a few stars from where she was.

"It feels like; every time we try to move past this-"

He came over to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He knew exactly how to make her feel safe; like nothing in the world could harm her. Just like she felt that nothing could harm these babies when she felt his hands caressing her bump. "Hey, we _are_ movingpast it."

"We're not; and it's not for lack of trying. But I let this in; I invited it, and now it won't leave!" She said and wiped her tears. "Dammit, I said I wouldn't cry!"

Nick quickly turned and got her some tissues from the table. "Here you go."

"I know what's in that email. I know…" She started, but then stopped because her tears tried to overtake her as she turned to face him. "I'm sorry!" She said as she wiped them away. "I wanted to tell you a few hours ago, but Zara…"

"How do you know what's in this email?" She sat there thinking that this was a bad idea. But no matter, she couldn't lie now. She had to go through with this, she had to-

"Liv… Baby, how do you know what's in this email?"

"Because he sent it to me."

Nick backed up, taking a seat on the arm of the chair nearest the window. She was right. They couldn't get away from this. "What is it?"

"Nick-" but he didn't give her another chance to speak. Instantly, he had crossed the living room and had gotten the laptop. "Nick, wait-" She cried.

Sitting on the edge of the sofa, he opened the email and clicked the video, and the room was immediately filled with the sounds of Manny and Olivia's wild sex, while Nick's eyes were witness to it. He sat there, basically in shock at what he was seeing! His wife. His fucking wife! He'd known what she'd done with Manny; she'd confessed to three times but seeing this, seeing them in the act. She's with _HIM._ She's naked, and sweaty and… He wanted to hit something! And it was all he could do to hold it together. Olivia, embarrassed and heartbroken at what he was seeing, wanted to die. She hadn't meant for things to go this way, and now Nick was sitting there watching her with his brother, in a way that only she and him were meant to be. Deciding that she couldn't watch this again. She attempted to leave, but Nick, without even looking at her, grabbed her hard by the right wrist and inadvertently twisted it, pulling her to sit beside him. "Watch it!" He said forcefully, still holding her wrist tightly.

"Nick please, I don't…"

"Why? You can't look at what you did?" He yelled, then picked up the laptop and threw it against the wall, sending it crashing to the floor. Finally, he let her wrist go and got up, pacing and pulling at his hair. He caught his breath, and swallowed the lump in his throat, scaling a hand down his face before he turned around to her. She was holding her wrist, and had a look of utter fear about her. "Baby-"

"You swore to me that you'd never touch me like that again!" She practically whispered in tears. This time, she wasn't crying because of her confession.

"Mami, I'm sorry." He said, much calmer and truly apologetic as he came towards her attempting to comfort her. But she quickly backed away, getting up from the couch.

"Don't" She said as Zara came into the living room holding her unicorn with sleep in her eyes and looking back and forth between her parents.

"Mommy, I heard a noise!"

"It's okay baby, it's just a noise." She said as she went to Zara and picked her up. "Would you feel better if you slept in our bed?" Zara nodded, then put her head down.

"Liv, just let me-" Nick started, but Olivia just stared at him as she left the room, with Zara in tow.

* * *

 **TBC**


	44. Trials

**Chapter 44**

* * *

.

Maria forgot that she wasn't supposed to be answering calls from Manny, but when she was asleep and her hotel landline rang, the reached over sleepily to grab it, regretting it as soon as she realized who was on the other end.

"You stupid fucking bitch!" Manny said sharply into the phone.

"You called me at six in the morning to say that? Goodbye Manny!" She said, her Brooklyn accent thick. She started to hang up, but Manny stopped her.

"You told my mother about Zara?"

 _You've gotta be kidding me, this guy!_ She thought with a sigh. "Yes I did. What? You want I should be sorry?"

"I _"want"_ that you should have kept your mouth closed, you ignorant fuck!"

"Listen to me; don't you call here acting all butt hurt. You wanted to do your brother harm with my revelation. And most of all, you wanted to harm that little girl-"

"Oh right. Cuz now you give a damn about her!"

"Maybe not the way I should but yes, I do! I care that she has the life that neither of us wanted to provide her, and if I can help it, you are not gonna ruin that for her. And judging by the fact that you're calling here, and mad as hell, I'd say Mrs. Amaro must've chewed your ass out! You wanna get at Nick for whatever your reasons are, which I'm sure they aren't reasons at all; you do it without harming that kid! She's innocent and doesn't deserve your bullshit! Now I'm hanging up, because I have 8 black guys that I'm fucking in less than four hours, and I need my rest. This will be the last time we speak, so, I don't know; have a nice life, you deadbeat?" She said and hung up the phone.

"DAMMIT!" He screamed!

" _You are not ruining my granddaughter's life! You don't want Zara, you just Want to hurt Nick and Olivia and I won't allow it Manny. You are going to forget this insanity and move on, do you hear me? Nick is the only father that child knows, and for you to come and upend that for selfish reasons, is beyond cruel to a little girl who has done nothing but love everyone she's ever met, especially you! And I'll tell you something else, you need to face that rape charge._

" _What?"_

" _Face it Manny. Get your ass on a plane, get back here and deal with it!"_

" _Oh, so now you wanna see me in jail, is that it?"_

" _No. That is the last thing I want you becoming Nicolas senior, but you're already well on your way there. Stop this Manny. Por favor detener esto antes de que sea demasiado tarde!"_

Everything was getting out of his control. He hadn't even had time to get a reaction out of Olivia, or Nick for the video he'd sent them both, before his mother came and delivered her ultimatum to him.

" _...you forget this mess, and get back here, or I'm done!" Caesarea told him, under no uncertainty._

" _What do you…? Mami?"_

" _I mean it. Maybe I'm to blame, maybe I should have said something years ago, when I noticed the bad behaviors but I didn't and I will hate myself every day for that. I didn't wanna see that you could become your father; that you could take on his personality. I always worried that it was Nick but I was so wrong. I'm an old woman Manny, it's time to stop living life with blinders on…."_

He was running out of options and coming undone in the process.

* * *

Neither of them really slept all night. Nick, not at all and Olivia, plagued by a headache on top of everything else, stayed awake until four; when the babies had her so exhausted that she finally gave in to sleep. Now this morning, as she stood in the kitchen in her tank top and pajamas; her eyes still red and swollen from crying; she looked at her bandaged wrist and was reminded of last night. Not that she needed to be. It wasn't as if she'd forgotten any of it, or hadn't spent the whole night in tears and seriously rethinking her place in Nick's life!

She reached for the kettle to pour the hot water in her mug for her tea, when the pain in her wrist screamed, stopping her. It hurt even worse than it first had now that the swelling had set in. Even bandaged, it couldn't take away from the pain, and she quickly put the kettle down on the stove and held her wrist with her other hand to try and ease the absolute ache for a moment before she let it go and this time lifted the kettle with her left hand just as Nick came out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. She rubbed her stomach to calm the nausea and movement, baby b was active this morning!

Nick took one look at her and felt ten time worse than he already had. He'd known that Liv was up for most of the night, but to see her this morning, looking so disheveled; tired and worn out from crying with her wrist bandaged because of him. All while she's eighteen weeks pregnant with their twins; that did something to him, and it was all he could do to not cry, himself.

"Olivia…"

"I don't want to talk about it!" She said. Between last night, and now morning sickness and this damn headache, she was barely holding it together today, and if she talked to him right now, she was risking falling apart. And that wasn't what she needed. But when he dropped to his knees in front of her, she nearly broke.

"Please!"

"Nick…" She said in a barely audible voice. She didn't want to hear what he had to say, not after he'd damn near broken her wrist!

"Baby...I'm so sorry!" He said as he hugged her middle, resting his head against her belly. She steeled herself before she looked down at him briefly, but then broke his clasp around her waist, picked up her tea and started towards her room.

"I've gotta get Zara up for school." She said and kept walking without turning around to face him, closing the door when she got there.

* * *

"How're you feeling this morning?" Marisol asked Olivia over the phone. "...the babies okay?"

Ignoring her question about her own well being, she went to the inquiry about the twins."They're perfect."She said smiling as she touched her belly. "I felt them move for the first time yesterday, I can't even say how amazing it was!'

"Isn't it? God, I can't wait to meet them!"

"Neither can I." She said as Nick came through the front door. "Hey, Mari, can I give you a call later? ...okay. I will." She said and hung up then said to Nick as she passed through to the kitchen: "Your sister says hi. Did Zee get off okay?"

"Yeah… Liv, please, a minute?"

"I'm gonna be late for work, so…no!" She started to walk out of the kitchen but he stood in her path, blocking her way.

"Olivia"

"Nick, please get out my way!"

"No. Baby, we need to talk."

"Or what? You gonna actually break my arm?" She said, feeling horrible as soon as it left her mouth when she saw his reaction. But it was too late to take it back

"Liv, you know that was an accident." He said calmly.

"You told me, swore to me that after that night-" _Dammit!_ He tears were starting to fill her eyes.

"I know I did baby! I know, and I will hate myself for as long as live-"

"No!" She cried, in tears now that fell down her cheeks in torrents and blinded her vision. "I am your wife! But instead of you remembering that, you let this be about your ego and you nearly broke my wrist!"

"I didn't mean it, baby. but I was shocked! You were on that screen with-"

"You don't think I know that? I didn't know he'd recorded us, and I didn't know that he'd planned to send it to you or me until it happened. I agonized over telling you about that video, but I knew I had to because I didn't want there to be any more secrets between us! You said so many times that we were past it, everything. Isn't that what you told me last night?"

"In all honesty Liv, What did you expect me to do? Huh?"

"Get angry, throw something; hell, curse me if you needed to! I was prepared to deal with all of that if I had to; but for you to put your hands on me again?"

"You we're being fucked by my brother! And not only that, you were enjoying the hell out of it! You think I don't know those looks? The lip biting. Those sounds? The screams? God only knows how far you went with him!"

"And I've apologized for it!"

"I doesn't make it any less painful when I have to look at it! To see my wife spread across another man; my own brother and see him doing to you what only I'm supposed to! How would you feel if the roles were reversed and it was you sitting there, watching me fuck the shit out of Casey?"

She looked at him with the angriest eyes before she pushed past him and walked down the hall. "Liv...I'm sorry. Baby I didn't mean that!" He said but she just grabbed her coat and purse and went out the door, slamming it.

"Dammit!" He said as he swung at the air several times, then put his hands on his head. "Dammit!"

He walked around for a few seconds before he took his phone from his pocket and dialed. Waiting a long moment for the call to connect.

"Brother! Long time no hear." Manny said, smiling. "You must have received my video!"

Nick spoke calmly. Almost too calmly, and it was chilling. "I don't care anymore that we're brothers. I don't care that it would kill Caesarea if something happened to you. It would kill me to see her go through that, but honestly, I. Don't .Care. You hear me, Manny? I do not care. What I do care about; and you can quote me on this, or write it down, record it- I don't care what you do with it, but KNOW this: as of this moment, you are going to stop interfering in my marriage, and I won't say it again after this. So, please try me. Please." And just as calmly, he hung up just that fast, before Manny could say another word. Not that he could, because for once in his life, Manny was scared to death! He knew Nick and he also knew that when Nick was calm, he had lost all reasoning and was ready to kill someone, and now, that someone was him.

* * *

Two days later, at the precinct. Olivia was in the file room drying her eyes after a good cry before she went back out to the squad room. She tried to be strong, but with pregnancy driving her hormones and the simple fact that this thing with Nick was honestly hurting her, she was a mess, and often slipped away during the day so she could cry in peace like now.

They hadn't said much to each other, since trying to talk, it only lead to arguments. And they had had some pretty terrible ones over the last two days. So bad that she'd begun wondering where exactly she fit into his life? She knew that he was angry about what he saw; he had every right to be. But the fact that he could…

"There you are." Munch said. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Just these hormones, you know?" She said, wiping her eyes again. Munch looked at her before he opened his arms and she came into them and wept.

"You know, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here. About anything."

"I know."

"And if you ever need a hitman, I know a guy." He said, making her laugh in spite of how she felt.

"Thank you, but I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll be out in a minute." She said and he kissed her on the head before he left.

...

"Hey" Amanda said as Olivia returned from the file room.

"Oh hey. I didn't know you were coming in, I thought you were out till tomorrow." Olivia said as she sat at her desk.

"I wasn't but Reyes called out, so… What happened to your hand?"

"Don't ask." She said and turned to her desk phone, which was ringing. "Special Victims Unit. Detective Benson speaking. No, you want someone in warrants. Hold on, I'll transfer you...you're welcome." She said and transferred the call, then stood up to stretch her back.

"You okay?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah, I didn't sleep too well last night and my body is paying for it today." She said as she rubbed her belly with her bandaged hand; the other on her back. Amanda sat there, staring at Olivia's hand, and wondering what exactly happened. Calculating in her head that it had to be Nick.

"Can you feel any movement yet?"

"I got my first taste Sunday and it's been nonstop since then." She smiled. "They're moving now; I wish you could feel it, it's so incredible. Uh, and of course I have to pee! Excuse me." She said before she headed to the bathroom. Amanda turned her head and watched her off before she turned back around and picked up her phone. She started to call Nick, but quickly decided that she couldn't do that, and hung the phone back on its cradle. Besides, if Olivia found out, she'd kill her. But dammit, Amanda needed to know just how far this all went if she had any chance of proving to everyone that Manny was innocent!

When she thought about the talk they'd had on Saturday…

" _Can I tell you something?" She'd asked._

" _You can tell me anything."_

" _I wish to God I'd fucked you that last time I'd seen you!"_

" _Yeah, me too." She couldn't see it, but he was just going through the motions with her. "When I think about what I would've done to you…!"_

" _My body misses you so bad. My pussy stays wet all day just thinking about you. Every night, I grab a dildo and fuck myself so hard!"_

" _Oh yeah?"_

" _Yeah. The whole time, I'm thinking of the way you did it, when you fucked me over and over again that night… You wouldn't believe how hard my nipples are right now. I can feel your mouth on them!"_

" _You're naked aren't you baby?"_

" _How'd you know?"_

" _I can hear your breath hitch. You rubbing that clit?" She just laughed into the phone as she continued to rock her hips against the pillow, and pulled at her nipples. "How about you turn on your facetime and let me see that pretty pussy? I'll talk you through a mindblowing orgasm!"_

She suddenly came out of her thoughts, disoriented and so wet and horny when she heard Cragen call her name. She quickly cleared her throat and scared to look; prayed that her nipples weren't poking out too much as she went to his office.

Just then, A uni came out of interrogation room two, escorting a perp to lockup.

Louie Baker. White guy age 34. A multiple felon, and a meth abuser, he's made his living raping and abusing, then robbing and killing women. He got caught when unbeknownst to him, the last woman he attacked lived through the beating he gave her and described him perfectly to the police. Right down to his pale green eyes, and the scar on his left hand that he burned while trying to cook meth. Fin had been going at him now for four hours and finally got a confession. Now, it was off to the tombs for this guy.

Simultaneously, Olivia had just come from the bathroom and crossed paths with Mr. Baker. It all happened so fast. His hands were cuffed to the front and he quickly pulled the unis gun from the holster and had grabbed Olivia, pointing it at her head. Fin wasted no time in pulling his piece out and training it on Louie, along with half the precinct doing the same.

"Fin…" Olivia called to him, scared to death, and causing Cragen and Amanda to run from his office.

"Gimme the keys, or this bitch gets it!" He Screamed as he yanked her hair back.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't-" The uni started as he cried actual tears.

"Shut up, uni!" Fin yelled to him, though not doing much good. The uni was terrified, both at the fact that the perp had a hostage who was a fellow officer and what this would mean for him. He wasn't gonna stop crying. " Liv, baby you okay?"

"I'm okay." She cried with her hand on her belly, feeling her babies.

"Lemme guess, you fuckin her, nigger? This baby yours?"

"Put the gun down, Louie!" Fin demanded.

"Louie, don't be stupid!" Cragen said, his hand inching toward his gun.

"You pull that gun and I swear, I'll shoot! Now give me the fuckin keys!" He screamed. Olivia felt her heart in her throat. He was a junkie. A junkie who had the shakes because he needed a hit and here he was, with a gun at her head!

"We're not gonna do that. Put the gun down and let her go!" Munch said.

"You smell fuckin fantastic you foxy thang!" Louie said to Olivia, then with his rancid breath, and toothless grin, he stuck out his putrid tongue and licked the side of her face. It took everything in her to not throw up.

"Louie...think about what you're doing, they're not letting you get out of here!" She tried reasoning with him. He had her, holding her as a hostage and there was no telling what he would do but whatever that was, she couldn't let it happen. She had these babies inside her and she had to protect them.

"SHUT UP!" He yelled and pulled her hair tighter, the pain shooting through her head.

"Last warning, let. her. go." Fin delivered the final ultimatum.

"What, you gonna shoot me?" Louie laughed, the uni crying in the background. It was quick, Fin fired and the bullet hit Louie square in the shoulder, causing him to let Olivia go, pushing her into a desk while squealing in pain and the detectives grabbed him up off the floor.

"Call a bus!" Cragen yelled as he ran to Olivia who wasn't so good. When Fin shot Baker and he threw her, she tried to protect the babies from the impact but in protecting them from the corner of the desk, she hit her stomach hard when she went tumbling to the floor; knocking the wind out of her.

"Liv?" Amanda called as she ran over to her, and Cragen worried as she couldn't catch her breath.

"My babies!" She struggled to get it out, as she held her other hand to her stomach. In that moment, she felt a terror that she'd never experienced. Her babies had to be alright, they had to! Her arm was now lying at an angle along with a nasty, bloody gash on her palm from where she landed. "Liv, you're bleeding!" Cragen said as he looked at the gash in her hand.

" _I'm. So. Sorry. I'm so sorry!"_ The uni continued crying.

"I can't feel them!" She said, so scared from where she lay on the floor, her left hand protectively holding her belly.

"You fuckin pig...you shot me!" Louie screamed as Ruiz and Thompkins hoisted him up, his shoulder a bloody mess.

"Get this motherfucker out of here!" Fin yelled as he turned to Olivia. "Listen to me." He said "we're gonna go to the hospital, and everything's gonna be okay, alright? It's gonna be fine!" But he was praying even as he said the words.

* * *

At Nick's precinct, he had just walked in…

"Turn around." His captain said

"Oh come on cap!"

"Amaro, there's been a situation at the 1-6, your wife's on her way to Mercy." He felt his heart stop in that moment.

"Is she-"

"I don't know." By Nick was suddenly glued to the spot where he stood. All the blood had drained from him and he couldn't move. "Come, I'll drive you."

* * *

By the time Nick got to the hospital, The crew was there, along with a bunch of other detectives and unis and he ran to Fin, Munch, Rollins and Cragen, finding out where Olivia was and running back to her in tears.

When he got to the back of the emergency room and saw her lying there in bed, he thanked god as he made his way to her, no words and he kissed her head as he held her close and she started to cry in big sobs.

"Shhh, it's okay now!" He said, so glad that she was alright as far as he could tell and held her tighter. This woman was his whole world...these babies...Zara and he'd been an ass. Through all of her apologizing, he'd been too hurt, too proud and it all got out of hand.

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me? I'm the one who's been a fool-"

"Because of me. I did this to us; I broke us, I made you rethink me, rethink our marriage-"

"Don't say that!"

"I swear I never meant to hurt you and if I could go back, none of this…" Just then, the nurse entered the room with the ultrasound machine.

"Okay, let's get a look at your babies. You must be Mr. Amaro." She said as she set up then lifted Olivia's gown. there was a huge bruise to her stomach from the fall and Nick felt like his world died. If these babies didn't make it...

The nurse the put gel on Olivia's stomach before she grabbed the wand and Olivia held Nick's hand with her good one, both of them holding their breaths until they saw the babies on screen. "There's one… And there's two." She said as she continued to examine. "They're looking good, mommy."

"They're alright?" Olivia asked as she cried as she and Nick looked at the screen.

"Heartbeats are strong...and, I've got a pretty clear view, you wanna know what you're having?"

"We want to keep that surprise until their birthday comes." Nick said. The whole ride here he'd had so many what ifs, so many scenarios. He didn't know if he'd find her unconscious or if the babies would be alright. So many things that could have gone wrong. But they were all okay. He'd remember to got to the jail for some time with Louie later on. But right now, he thanked god as he kissed his wife.

* * *

For two days Manny sat and didn't make a move on Olivia, he was that afraid of what Nick would do! He thought about it, god knows he did. He thought about her and about the times that they fucked. And when he imagined her cumming, heard those sweet sounds either in his head or on that tape that he couldn't stop watching, it drove him so crazy that he actually would start to call her just to hear her voice. But as soon as he'd pick up the phone, he'd be reminded of Nick and that threat and find himself cooling his heels.

But after two whole days of abiding by someone else's rules, he was tired of it. He needed to get out of here. Hell, the club was finished, he'd collected his fee. He was free to go. But was it safe to come back home? He could always sneak in, but then what? He needed to see Olivia, that's what.

He thought about it momentarily and he'd made up his mind. He was going back. Better than anything, he was going back tonight. And he gave his friend with the private plane a call.

"You can have it ready tonight? Yeah, yeah, midnights fine! That gives me a few hours. Alright man, I'll see you there!" He said and hung up, getting back to the brunette in his bed. "Just enough time to do you!" They both smiled when there was suddenly a sharp knocking at the door.

"I'll be right back. That's probably room service." He said as he got up and went to the door as he put on a tee shirt.

"Sir, we have a report that you have a woman in here?" Said the hotel manager, who was accompanied by four police officers.

"I don't…" To say that Manny was nervous was an understatement. Having a woman in his hotel; a woman he wasn't married to- _Dammit!_ He thought as the cops walked in. "Look, it's not what you think-" He started but the cops had already made their way inside the bedroom where they found the brunette trying to get some clothes on. Regardless to say, but he was fucked!

* * *

Olivia looked so small and helpless lying there in the hospital bed, running her hands over her belly and apologizing to the babies. "Mama's so sorry. But you're both gonna be okay!" She told the little lives inside her. "I wouldn't survive if either of you left me!"

Meanwhile, Nick came back into the room and when she saw him, her tears got even heavier. "I never meant for any of this to happen..." It came out barely noticeable though her sobs, but Nick heard her loud and clear.

"Listen to me. They're here, their little heartbeats are still strong. Let's just concentrate on that."

"Olivia, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked as he came back in.

"I'm okay. My stomach is still sore but…"

"Crashing into floors will do that. You're gonna have this bruise for a few days." He said as he lifted her gown to check her stomach. "We got your tests. It looks like you're just spotting but we're gonna keep you overnight to monitor that blow to to your stomach, other than that, it looks like you'll be fine."

"Thank you Doctor." Nick said as the man left the room.

"I don't want us to keep going through this!" She cried.

"And we won't, I promise. Okay? We won't."

"I want us to see a marriage counselor Nick. We can't have Zara around this, and we can't bring these babies into it. I need for us to be whole again!"

"I'll do whatever it takes to get us back on track, anything!" He said in tears and he meant it. He had never loved anybody the way he loved this woman.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	45. In Preparation

**Chapter 45**

* * *

 **.**

 **The next morning, in Dubai, 10AM...**

"You, my friend, have landed in a shit load of trouble!" Manny's lawyer, Patrick Sloan told him the minute he'd come through the door of the small room where Manny sat. "It's illegal to have sexual relations with, and have a woman that you're not married to in your hotel suite here. You should know this!"

"I don't care! And I don't pay you to tell me stupid shit that I don't care about. What I pay you for is to get me out of it, so do what I pay you for!"

"This isn't a joke, Manny! You're lucky this didn't end in a prison sentence."

"Lucky me, huh?"

"You don't get it do you? They frown on- let me rephrase that; they spit on relations outside of marriage here; big time! You don't do it. Period! Am I getting through to you?"

"My brother's a cop in New York City. Don't police officers have respect for each other, like worldwide? That has to mean something, right?"

"Manny-"

"Did you mention that?"

"Your brother being a cop, does nothing for you."

"What?"

"They're not even trying to register that."

"Lotta fucking good you did, Nick!" Manny laughed.

"They're going to they ship you back to the united states. An expulsion- if you will."

"That's it?"

"Sort of."

"What does that mean; "sort of"?"

"It means, if they contact the US, and they definitely will. They'll find out about your arrest warrant in New York City; I'm sorry Manny, but you'll be going back to face those charges!"

"Jesus, Patrick!" He said and leaned way back in his chair, covering his eyes for a moment while silence enveloped the small room. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Manny sat up and spoke. "Tell me, honestly; how much time am I looking at if I go back? If I go to trial...what am I…"

"If you go to trial, you're looking at at least fifteen-"

"Years?!"

"You've been accused of the rape and aggravated assault of a police officer, Manny! That's not a slap on the wrist."

"I can't do fifteen, I can't-" He was saying when he thought about what Nick said to him.

 _"I don't care anymore that we're brothers. I don't care that it would kill Caesarea if something happened to you. It would kill me to see her go through that, but honestly, I. Don't .Care. You hear me, Manny? I do not care. What I do care about; and you can quote me on this, or write it down, record it- I don't care what you do with it, but KNOW this: as of this moment, you are going to stop interfering in my marriage, and I won't say it again after this. So, please try me. Please."_

"Manny?" Patrick called to him when he saw that Manny was lost somewhere in his own mind.

"I'm sorry…" He said, realizing that this was it. There was no escaping anymore. He couldn't run, he couldn't hide. Hell, the way things looked, he couldn't even go back and deny these charges. Nick had put the fear of god into him. He was going directly into the custody of the New York City Police Department. And if he did deny the charges, say he was innocent and went to trial, if he won and got off, Nick would be there. And if he lost, went to prison, Nick was a cop. He knew people in the prison system. His people knew people. No matter where he went, he wouldn't be safe. But if he took a plea; confessed to being guilty- _No!_ He couldn't do that! Olivia plays innocent, but she wanted him that night, she wanted what happened between them. The was she came, hard, twice. You don't cum from sex you don't want, no matter how forcibly it's being given to you; you just don't! She wanted it! This much he knew! And aggravated assault? That was an accident. And he couldn't even get started on his babies. "What if I fight the expulsion?"

Patrick paused, and he looked at Manny like he had two heads, before he laughed in his face. Was he kidding right now? If he stayed, and tried to fight the deportation, he'd be going to prison. No that it wasn't an option at this point. The people had already decided that he would be deported. There was nothing he could do about it.

"Like it or not, Manny, you're being deported, and you have up to two weeks before that occurs. Two weeks that you'll be spending right here. So the only thing you need to be thinking of is, what are you going to do once you get back to New York City?"

* * *

Two days later in New York City, at Nick and Liv's. Olivia's phone rang, piercing the silence of the apartment as she hurried from the sink in the bathroom as she was drying her face. She reached to the counter for her phone, but quickly realized that she had left it in the living room and hurried out of the bathroom to answer it, now wishing that Nick was here to grab it for her. They had just gotten home from the hospital an hour ago yesterday and he had been on superman status and it was already driving Olivia crazy! This morning, she insisted after he drop Zara off, that he go to work, suddenly regretting that decision as she wasn't too quick with her broken arm in a sling and her ever burgeoning belly. When she finally arrived at the table in the living room, she took a moment to catch her breath before she answered.

"Captain, hey." She said, out of breath and sitting down on the arm of the sofa, rubbing her belly.

"How're you feeling?"

"I'm alright. It sucks that my last week at work before I took a break got cut short, but-"

"Nevermind that, you just get better." He smiled. "So, is Nick around?"

"Uh no, actually you just missed him. He's on his way to work."

"It's okay, you can tell him yourself."

"Tell him what?"

"I thought I'd call to give you some good news; Liv, we got Manny. They're sending him from Dubai in about ten days!"

Liv was speechless. All this time she'd never imagined that she would ever even tell anyone about what he'd done to her, except for Casey, and now here they are a month later; she wouldn't be lying if she said that she had gotten used to the idea of him being on the other side of the ocean. Everyone who was important to her knew what he,was, and what he had done, so did she need this? Even though she threatened just three days ago that she would make him pay, she really just wanted him to get out of her life so that she could move now he was coming back? Just as she was contemplating what to say from the shock of it all, the doorbell rang, and she was thankful that she had an out.

"Captain, can I call you back? Someone's at the door." She said before she hung up and went to the door, trying to close her robe but gave up and let it alone as she opened the door. "Maria…" She said, surprised as hell to see her standing there, again, after what happened just this past Saturday.

"Can I come in?" The younger woman said. She looked as tired as Olivia felt, standing there in her skintight designer sweatsuit and fur coat. But Olivia was unsure but quickly decided to hear her out, and she stepped aside and let her in. "Wow, what happened to your arm, if you don't mind me askin." Maria said as she took off her coat.

"It's nothing, it was a work incident. You know, Nick's not here-"

"I was hoping he wasn't actually, so that's a good thing."

"Maria, if you've come to argue-"

"No, I um...can we sit?"

Olivia looked uncertainly as she motioned towards the stools at the kitchen counter. "Can I get you anything?"

"If you have coffee, I'd love a cup." Maria said as she sat, and put her purse down on the counter. Olivia put a coffee mug in front of her and proceeded to fill it with the steaming hot liquid. Just black, thank you." She said as she turned it up. "I didn't notice how beautiful this apartment was when I was here Saturday."

"Thank you; we're in the process of moving, actually."

"Bigger place?"

"Uh, a house." Olivia said. "So what-"

"You and Nicky; you guys look happy."

"We are."

"I can see that; I mean you guys have a baby on the way." She said, with another sip to her coffee.

"Two actually, were having twins" Olivia informed her, with a hand to her belly.

"Wow, no shittin?" She said with a smile to her face. She was genuinely happy for them. "Congratulations; I mean that."

"Thank you." Olivia said, feeling some of the tension in the room melt away, but not all. She still didn't know why Maria was here, and if she was being honest, that in itself left her a little apprehensive. That, and the fact that she still believed that she and Manny were up to something.

"I know you've gotta be wondering what I'm doing here."

"Honestly, yes." She said as she came around the counter and sat, taking the pressure off her back.

"I wanted to apologize for Saturday."

"I think we both got a little out of pocket that night, and that isn't who I usually am."

"It is who I am, but I was wrong to come at you that way, and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve it. I uh, I got a call in LA; surprised me that it was Manny. Especially because I hadn't spoken to him since before I left way back when. Don't even bother askin me how he got my number."

"What did he want?"

"Basically? He wanted me to stir up trouble!" She said, without saying too much. She wouldn't tell Olivia, or anyone about his threats against Zara. And she thanked her lucky stars that Caesarea had kept her word. "...and to tell the truth, I'm sorry that I ever agreed to it. I just… He didn't tell me that I'd come here and find you all so; perfect."

"We're far from perfect, believe me."

"But you love each other"

"Very much."

"And the kid?"

"Zara. And we do, more than anything. She's our whole world!"

"I'm glad she has somebody who can be there for her." Maria said, swirling her coffee. There was a long moment of silence between the two women that ended when Olivia, never one to mince words, said what had been on her mind for years.

"Not that I'm complaining. Because if things hadn't been the way they were; if you had decided to try, and hadn't left, I wouldn't be in the place I am now to be raising such an incredible little girl. But I've heard it from Nick, and from the family. Now I wanna hear it from you. Why'd you leave?"

"For the record; it may not have seemed like it to him, or any of them, but i did try. I could give a million reasons why I left, but the truth is, I knew when I took that pregnancy test and it came back positive that I'd be a shit mother. Some women have that maternal instinct, and some of us don't, ya know? I didn't."

"Why'd you keep her?" Olivia asked. There was no malice in her question. No judgment, just a woman who was in a situation; though a beautiful one that for so long, she'd only had one side of. Today, she was thankful for, if for nothing else that she could finally hear Maria's side of why she would leave a baby as beautiful, and amazing as Zara.

"Nick begged me to...I only wanted money for an abortion but he said it was a blessing and pleaded with me to have it. And suddenly, there I was."

"You didn't want her; at all?

"What can I say? My life was and still is about me and I'm not sorry. I mean I tried. For a whole month I tried, but I couldn't do it. And so I gave Nick sole custody and I left. You can call me selfish, but I did what was right for her, and she's better off because of it. She doesn't know me. She doesn't have any of my shit to deal with; and that's a good thing, ya know? She has her father and she has you. I don't know you, but I can tell that you love her; and knowing Nick like I do, he wouldn't have you anywhere near his little girl if you didn't, 100%."

"Sounds like you know my husband pretty well." Olivia laughed.

"Nine months, you learn a few things." She said in tears. "Look, you're her mom in every way, and I respect you so much for that! That kid has two parents who love her fiercely and I'm so sorry that I was ever gonna come between that."

Olivia sat as her own eyes filled with tears, thinking about her little girl. She never needed anyone's approval to love Zara, it just came naturally to her the very moment she'd met the child when she was just two years old. But she didn't know why, maybe it was because of the fact that Maria had given birth to Zara, and she was standing here telling Olivia that she respected her as Zara's mother. It shouldn't have meant so much, but it absolutely did, and she wiped her tears as they flowed. and just nodded her agreement. "Thank you for that."

"You're welcome." She said as she wiped her eyes. "And, you can let Nick know that I won't be coming back around. Ooh, and I got a plane to catch!" She said, finishing the last of her coffee before she and Olivia stood up and went to the door. "You listen to me, that brother of Nick's, he's a damn snake! He's been one for as long as I've known him, and he hasn't changed! I don't know why he wanted me to cause trouble, but watch out for him."

If only she'd know that she was preaching to the choir, and that Olivia knew a whole lot more than Maria gave her credit for.

"Anyway, I'm glad I got to meet you and have this talk."

"I am too, Maria."

"You guys take care, and good luck with the babies." She said as she walked out of the door.

"But what _aren't_ you telling me?" She wondered to herself as she locked the door.

* * *

Later that night, after all was calm. Zara was asleep, and in their bedroom, Olivia was lying in bed already when Nick came in and took off his tee shirt, before he got in to join her.

"You know" He said. "I didn't expect to like going to marriage counseling, but it was...interesting."

"Interesting huh?" She said as she settled into his arms and they kissed. "What do you find so _interesting_?"

"I don't know, I guess the whole idea of _it_ , and us… I just know that I'm glad you thought to take that step."

"I'm just glad we both agreed." She said, lying against his chest and inhaled his scent.

"Are you kidding? I would walk on burning coals. I love you, and I hope you know how much."

"I do. I know that now more than ever."

"What's wrong?" He asked and kissed her nose. "Your mind has been elsewhere, I've noticed since I came home."

"That's the other thing I wanted to tell you… Don called me this morning; the authorities they have Manny in custody in Dubai and they're gonna be sending him to New York."

"What?" Nick was shocked; in the best way possible. He'd wanted this since Manny ran, and now, it was happening. "He's coming here?"

"In ten days."

"Baby, this is great, isn't It? I thought it's what you wanted."

"I wanted him to stay gone, where I wouldn't have to go through a trial and be reminded of what he did to me; Nick, when he brings up our affair in court-"

"Hey, that doesn't matter; none of it does ,Liv, you know this."

"What I know are the chances I have that the jury will believe me. I entered into a sexual relationship with him. And the night he raped me, I was in his hotel room!"

"After I'd left you there. Babe, this wasn't your fault!"

"I know that, and you know that-"

"...and your whole squad knows it! Your captain and your sergeant, Fin-"

"They're not the ones deciding. They're not the ones that have to listen to every detail of what I went through; of what we did then decide if he's guilty. The looks we're gonna get, the talking...God, I wish I could just undo all of it!"

"Listen to me, we are in this together and I'm gonna be right there by your side through it all. I don't care about looks, or talk or any of it. I care about you and our family, to hell with anything else! Okay?" He said as he held her. Why don't we get some sleep, and we'll talk more about it in the morning.

"We still have to tell your mother."

"That's gonna be fun."

* * *

 **TBC… Reviews are always a plus and inspiration. I'd love it if you left one.**


	46. Simmering

**Chapter 46**

* * *

.

Late that same night, as Olivia got up to go to the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Nick jumped. Alarmed when he felt her moving out of the bed.

"I just have to pee. Go back to sleep." She said as she got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. After as she was washing her hands, looking down, she was confused. Her tank top was drenched down the front with giant wet spots from her breasts. "What the…?" She said as she looked in her shirt to see them dripping colostrum, and rather quickly. She immediately went out of the bathroom and over to her dresser once she got inside the bedroom, to get a new shirt.

"Hey, you alright?" Nick said sitting up and turning on his bedside lamp.

"No, I'm leaking." She said as she got a clean shirt.

"Leaking?" He immediately got out of bed, coming over to her. "You're leak- baby, we have to call the doctor!" He said, suddenly scared out of his mind.

"Wrong end." She said, going back into the bathroom, and he quickly followed.

"You're only eighteen weeks, is- I mean is that safe?"

"I freaked out too for a minute, but I remembered the doctor said a while back that it's normal to leak as early as fourteen weeks." She was trying to remove the soiled tank top, but it wasn't working.

"Need some help?"

"Could you? I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, that's what I'm here for...come on, we'll have you back to bed in no time." He said as he helped her off with her shirt. And when she stood there topless in front of him, he just stared at her pregnant form, drinking her in. He thought she looked like a goddess standing there with her full breasts flowing droplets of milk while her belly just abounding with life. "God baby, you're beautiful!"

"Stop." She shrugged him off but he came closer, caressing her face

"What?" He whispered as his hand got lost in her hair, before he lost himself in her lips. Kissing her with fire!

"I'm gonna drip-"

"Then drip!" He said and let their lips meet again, this time lifting her and carrying her out of the bathroom and straight to their bed where he lay her down gently as he hovered over her while her legs were around him and they continued kissing. He allowed his hands to re familiarize themselves with her body. Kissing his way down, and stopping to take her nipple in his mouth, licking and then sucking it, and she knew he'd gotten her liquid in his mouth, but when he swallowed like it was nothing, and continued his way down to her stomach, she became insanely turned on. And as he grabbed her panties and slipped them from her body, prepared to dive in on her pussy...

"I don't want foreplay right now! I need you inside of me!" She whispered against his mouth as she grabbed his face and brought it back up to hers. They kissed and he wiggled out of his pajama pants and she could already feel him at her entrance, and god, she wanted him so bad, spreading her legs to make closer contact and jutting her hips while he kissed her lips as he sunk himself deep inside her. She wanted to cry, he was stretching her so beautifully, so wonderfully, almost to the point of pain. Pulling out, and grabbing his dick to rub the head on her swollen clit, teasing her with the tip. She tried to get it back inside her, but when he pulled it out every time, and smacked her clit with the large member then laughed, she thought she'd burst and grabbed his hair to still him.

"Amaro I swear, if you don't put it back…" She said but he just looked her in the eyes and smiled before he leaned in and took her beautiful lips in a sensual kiss, before he took the tip and eased it back in, doing this a few times to give her the chance to adjust. He wanted to make sure he didn't hurt her, but she went wild, flipping them so that he was the one on his back and slamming down on him to get his full length, stopping every few thrusts to grind her hips while they moaned their enjoyment. She was an animal!

later…

"Oh god, baby don't stop!" Olivia cried as she was face down and being fucked so incredibly, she didn't know what to do as she grabbed at the sheets beneath her for traction and cried! "I'm cumming again!" She cried…."Oh my god; baby..." She squealed as she felt it, and at the same time felt his hot release spurting deep inside her womb. She was glad too, as she couldn't take anymore and collapsed with him right behind her, grabbing her hips and making his last thrusts deep to give her all of him.

"God I love you!" He whispered as they lay there side by side and kissed. "I love you so much!" He pulled the covers up around them as he kissed her sweaty brow, putting his hand around her belly and pulled her closer. "That was amazing baby."

" _You_ were amazing!" She smiled. "Don't move yet...I wanna stay like this a little longer."

"We'll stay this way as long as you want." He whispered, stroking her hair and kissing her ear. "As long as you want!" She smiled as she closed her eyes and held his hand, pulling him closer.

"I love you baby...so much!" She said as she drifted off to sleep.

...

The next morning...

"You know, I'd forgotten how amazing it feels to be sore from you making love to me!"

"Amazing huh?"

"Uh huh…" She said, kissing him. "Good morning!"

"Good morning." He smiled. "Tell me that we can stay here, in this bed with no interruptions from the outside world."

"No can do, though I wish." She said and kissed him. "I'm gonna get a shower and cook breakfast." She said as she got up out of bed.

"You feel up to it?"

"I'm not nauseous this morning, finally. I feel great. We should have sex at two the morning more often." She laughed as she went into the bathroom.

* * *

Dubai...

"I've tried" Patrick said. "But it's a no go. You're being deported and they already contacted New York City."

"I'm fucked."

"They're sending the necessary paperwork to the states and tying up some loose strings. I'm sorry Manny, but it's a done deal."

"This can be happening."

"Listen to me. I will be with you every step of the way-"

"Lotta good that's gonna do me." He said as he walked around the room.

"Have you thought about what you're gonna do when you get back?"

"No." But Manny was basically lost at this point. He had exhausted his attempts at slipping out of this and realizing that there was only one option left, he quietly signaled for the guard to go back to his cell.

* * *

In the kitchen at the apartment, Olivia was finishing up breakfast as her thoughts drifted to Manny. He'd be here in nine days, and she just wasn't ready to deal with him and the drama that would return with him. _God I wish he'd just die!_ She thought. Immediately regretting it as she told herself that it was wrong, even to wish Manny dead as Nick came into the kitchen in his work clothes.

"Hi you!" He smiled, and kissed Olivia.

"Right on time." She said as she finished filling his plate and sat it on the counter.

"Look at this, and with a broken arm?" He said as he sat down to it, and she looked at him, with a sarcastic gaze. "You know, if anyone had told me three years ago that Olivia Benson is Martha Stewart at home…" She laughed as she filled his and Zara's glasses with orange juice.

"Eat your breakfast. I'm gonna go wake Zee." She said on her way out, but before she could get far, he pulled her into his arms and held her.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine." She said as he rubbed her belly. This, right here was all she really needed, she thought and wished that Manny wouldn't come back.

"Are they moving?"

"I think they're sleeping." She said, kissed and broke from him.

"Thinking about Manny?" When she didn't say anything and instead just looked at him, he had his answer and tried to reassure her. "He can't hurt you Olivia."

"I know. I just...Zara's five years old; She goes to school, I don't want her hearing about this out there. I don't want her to look at me differently, Nick; people can be cruel...it would break my heart if she heard what I know people are gonna say about me when this gets to the media...what they're gonna say about you…"

"Liv, baby…"

"No Nick!" She said with tears in her voice. "I'm so tired of you trying to make this better, there is no better, and it's only gonna get worse; and it's my fault...all of it!" She said and they both went quiet. "I'm gonna get Zee. Eat your breakfast before it gets cold." She said and kissed his cheek, before she left the room and before he could say something to try and make her feel better, because the truth was, he couldn't.

* * *

At the precinct…

"What are you doing?" Munch asked Fin, who was at his desk, busy setting a timer on his phone.

"Setting a timer."

"For?"

"Emmanuel Amaro."

"Don't you think you're jumping the gun a bit? He won't actually be here for nine more days."

"You know Fin. He likes gun jumping." Amanda said.

"Here we go!" Fin said beneath his breath.

"I'm just sayin-"

"Nothin. You're sayin nothin! You were sayin nothin the other day, and you're still sayin nothin now."

Munch looked at his watch. "Quarter to twelve, I gotta go and...go." He said and left. Amanda and Fin got right back into it.

"Why? Because I'm actually looking at the facts of the case?"

"No, because you're being just like a man and thinking with your lower extremities."

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"No. And if you were so concerned with the "facts" of the case, why didn't you ask Liv to clarify her statement? You could've been sure a long time ago."

"Maybe I don't want anything clouding my judgment!"

"Your judgment is already clouded. Face it; you wanna believe Manny, hell, you already do. And talking to Liv would put too much doubt in your mind. Fuck that she's been a friend to you, you wanna believe him! That must've been somethin good to have you turnin on your girlfriend!" He said just as his phone alerted him to a message that he quickly read. "I gotta get to the morgue." And he grabbed his coat and left, leaving Amanda sitting there at her desk.

Manny couldn't be guilty of this, he couldn't. Plain and simple! She told herself. _So ask her._ She heard her inner voice say. _All you have to do is ask her, and you'll have your truth!_

But did she want the truth?

* * *

"Nicolas…" Caesarea said with a kiss to his cheek. "¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?"

"I wanted to see you. You're not going to work yet are you?" He said as he came in the house and his mom took his coat and hung it.

"No, no. Not till three. So what's going on?"

"Sit with me a minute." Nick said, and Caesarea immediately became on edge.

"What happened?"

"Come on." He said as he held her hand and led her to the couch; once they were seated... "Mami; have you heard from Manny the last couple of days?"

"I...not since I called him last weekend. Why?"

"Uh...he's been arrested in Dubai."

"What? Para qué? Dios mío, está bien?"

"Mami, calm down! As far as I know, he's fine." But Caesarea was already panicked beyond belief.

"W-what are they holding him for?"

"He broke some law; but they're apparently gonna be shipping him back here in a few days."

"To the US?"

"To New York; and they know about the arrest warrant… Mami, he's gonna stand trial for raping and assaulting..."

She sat there listening, but was this real? Was she actually hearing her son right? _They had,caught Manny, and now they were sending him back to be be arrested?_ She breathed deeply; a tear falling from her eye as she wrung her hands. _Thank you god!_ She prayed. Regardless of how she felt with Manny being her son, she knew in her heart that this was the right thing. He had to answer for what he'd done; it was that simple. And while she also knew that it was a tight rope she was walking amongst sides, she'd be there for Manny if he'd let her.

Nick was finishing up when she grabbed him and hugged him.

"Hey...you'll be okay; I promise!" He hugged her even tighter as he kissed her head.

"You remember what I taught you growing up?" She pulled away with tears in her eyes.

"You taught me a lot of things…" He laughed; quietly, sarcastically, and feeling a ton of turmoil inside. Caesarea gave a wan smile as she stroked his hair.

"I taught you that no matter what, you can't give up on family. Nicolas, Emmanuel is lost right now-"

"Mami, please don't tell me you believe him-"

"No. If these last few days have taught me anything…" She thought back briefly to Maria's confession.

" _...I don't know why Manny's bringing this up after all these years, but he's threatening to go after custody if I don't tell Nicky the truth, but he can't know this; it would kill him!"_

"...he needs us, all of us."

"You'll have to excuse me if I'm not in a forgiving mood."

"Nicolas; he's your brother."

"My brother, who time and again has shown me that the bonds of brotherhood just don't mean as much to him as they did to me? I know you wanna be there for him, and I would never ask you not to be; he's still your son regardless of what he's done, but as for me, I'm done."

"Nico-"

"No mami. He raped my wife! Then he assaulted her and put her in a coma, and as if that wasn't enough, while she was in that coma, and I was out with Zara, he raped her again!"

"He… What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your son being a very sick man. It's why we're suing the hospital. He's been causing us nothing but hell since he left, and now Olivia is falling apart since she found out that he's on his way back here. So please, don't tell me how in need of a shoulder Manny is, cuz I just don't have room for him right now! I gotta go, but I'll call you." He said and kissed her before he got his coat and walked out the door.

* * *

At home later in the day, Olivia was putting books into boxes, when Zara and the nanny came in the front door.

"Mommy?" Olivia heard Zara call from the entryway where she took off her coat. Olivia smiled, and quickly answered.

"In the living room."

Zara came running in, dropping her book bag on the chair and went straight to hug Olivia around her middle.

"Hey you two." Olivia smiled as she looked down at Zara, and stroked her hair.

"Hey, I'm gonna use the bathroom before I go." Denise said, and hurried off."

"I missed you!" Zara said, looking up, and gave Olivia a quick peck on the lips before they sat on the couch where Olivia had a ton of books on the coffee table, putting them into boxes.

"I missed you too. How was school?"

"Goo-" Zara started. That's when she noticed and looked pensively at Olivia; something was off. "Mommy, your hair!"

"I had it done earlier today. What do you think?" Olivia asked nervously about the short bob that was cut just below her ears.

"It looks pretty!" Zara said as she ran her fingers through it.

"It does?"

"Uh huh." She said with a giant smile, then without missing a beat: "Can we get _my_ hair cut, too?"

"Oh...baby, I don't-"

"Please mommy!" The child begged with her hands folded as if in prayer.

"But sweetie, I love your hair long."

"I want it like yours. Please please please, mommy?" She continued begging. Olivia gave a playful laugh as she caressed her belly with her good hand when the twins began moving, then quickly cupped Zara's face.

"Tell you what, if you still want it come Monday, we'll go and get it done."

"Why Monday?"

"To give you time to think it through."

"Okay…" She said as Olivia kissed her face.

"Okay? Now, how about a snack?"

"No, thank you. What are you doing?"

"I'm packing the books and things for our move."

"Can I help?"

"Sure you can. But how about you go and change clothes first?"

"I'll be right back!" She said, and kissed Olivia's belly before she ran to her room.

"No running!"

 _Sorryyyyy!_ Zara sang from the hall as Olivia shook her head and laughed.

* * *

In Dubai…

Manny lay in cell unable to sleep even after a long day and for hours now, he lay there thinking about everything that had happened to get him here. He would be deported back to the states in less than ten days, and when he thought about the fact that he would be prosecuted, probably held until the trial, he felt sick inside!

One thing he knew: he couldn't go to prison. Just being locked up here for the past couple of days taught him more so what he already knew; he's not cut out for jail! And all night long, he's been lying here thinking of how he can get our this when he does get back to New York City. But there was nothing! Aside from these charges miraculously going away, he was in deep. He couldn't fathom living a life where he had to sleep with one eye open to watch his back; fighting every single day to protect himself. He was no punk, but, Jesus! His looks were important to him and he couldn't have them ruined by jailhouse brawls!

"I know you said to let things be, but I gotta do this Nick. I have to try one last time to make this all go away!"

* * *

By the time Nick got home later that evening, Olivia and Zara had completely stripped the shelves in the living room, having packed all of the books and things in several boxes but now, they were in the kitchen finishing up dinner while they talked about Zara's day.

"...and we're going on a trip to the paternerium after thanksgiving break. Can you come?"

Olivia laughed. "It's planetarium, and of course I'm coming, remember? I already signed up to be a chaperone."

"I forgot" Zara said with a grin as Olivia kissed her nose. "I can't wait till Monday!" She added as Olivia was in the refrigerator and Nick walked in the door.

"What's Monday?" He asked as he he appeared in the kitchen and Zara jumped into his arms.

"Daddy!"

"Hey princess!" He said to her with a kiss. "So what's this about Monday?"

"I'm getting my hair done like mommy's!" Zara said with a smile.

"Like mommy's huh? Hey babe." He said to Olivia as he made his way over to the fridge carrying Zara when Olivia came out carrying a large salad, Parmesan cheese, and dressing.

"Hey babe." She said and didn't spend a second in front of him. Instead, she quickly moved to the counter to sit the things down that were in her arms, as Nick still stood by the refrigerator, shocked.

"You cut it!" He said, barely able to find words.

"I did...well, actually, Desmond did but…"

"Isn't it beautiful, daddy? Mommy said we can do mine if I want, on Monday."

"It's… So short!" He said as he put Zara down. "Honey, why don't you go and uh- feed your fish?" He said as he went to wash his hands over the sink.

"Okay." She said happily as she went off to her room.

"Dinner in a few!" Olivia said before Zara disappeared, and Nick stood there staring at her hair while he dried his hands.

"Okayyy."

"Was it a slip of the scissors?"

"No, I told him to cut it." Olivia said, shaving Parmesan into the salad. You don't like it." Olivia said, her mood suddenly changing to one of sadness. Damn, these hormones were powerful things. Nick could see that she was on the verge of tears, and walked over to her.

"It's not that I don't like it; it's just...it's so short!" Not meaning to reiterate what he'd already said, but he was totally caught off guard but this. In the three years he'd known Olivia, her hair has been long, just like he loves it, and she's only grown it longer. So to come home and see it barely there...

"It'll grow back."

"Then, baby; why cut it?" He asked, simply wanting to know. He could easily wrap his fist around her gorgeous hair when they made love and he'd hit it from behind; he could grab onto it and fuck her mouth when she blew him; even watch it fall down around her shoulders and brush her nipples when she'd ride him. Even when he kissed her, he could-

"Because I wanted a change." She said. "So I suppose it's a no for Zara?"

"Babe, I don't care if Zara gets a haircut; she's a little girl. Your hair…" He said sexily in her ear as he wrapped his arms up above her belly and began kissing her ear. "I loved it long. I loved to feel it while we made love...but I guess you're right, it'll grow back!"

She smiled at that, turning around to face him. "So you like it?"

"...it'll grow on me...but I love you, and whatever you wear, it's beautiful!" He said with a kiss. "You know, we haven't been out, just us in a while. What say we leave the munchkin with abuela and go out tomorrow, maybe take your mind off things?"

"I don't know how good it'll be at taking my mind off things; but I'm willing to try." She said and kissed him as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I suppose it's not _that_ short."

"Why do I get the feeling that you'd be singing a different tune if you didn't at least have something you could grab onto?"

"Because you know your husband." He smiled with a kiss as Zara came in.

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"Yeah?" She asked as Zara shook her head, yes. "Well, come sit down, daddy's gonna serve us, since we did the cooking."

"Do I have to eat salad?"

"Yep!" Nick said as he brought over the serving dishes to the table.

"I can't wait till I'm a grown up. No vegetables ever!"

"Neither can we, you cost a small fortune!" Nick said with smile as he gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Eat."

* * *

 **TBC… I decided to give a bit of calm before Manny. Please leave a review**


	47. Friday

**Chapter 47**

* * *

 **.**

 **One week later…**

"...and look…" Olivia said as she scrolled to the next picture in her phone, of Zara from when she got her hair cut this past Monday. "She insisted that we had to take one together." She smiled genuinely.

"That is adorable, oh my god! Send me that one." Casey chirped as Olivia sent the picture. "I can't tell you how happy I am for you; I know I've said it before, but look at you- a man you love, a beautiful little girl and now two babies on the way!"

"I know." She said as she rubbed her belly. Sometimes I can't believe it myself."

"What I can't believe is that you're only nineteen weeks pregnant." Casey laughed as "You do realize that's not even five months?" She said and busied herself with touching Olivia's belly, feeling for movement as Olivia got an email from the ADA and sat reading it. "God, you're gonna be huge before long," Casey said smiling, but when she noticed that Olivia wasn't responding... "Liv," She said as she sat up straight in her chair.

"I'm sorry; I'm just trying to get this out of my head, and I can't!"

"I take it you spoke with the ADA that'll be handling your case?"

"Spoke with him, just got an email from him. I sat down for hours and I told him in detail everything that happened and went over it more times than I care to remember; it was humiliating." Olivia said as she ate the last hefty fork full of her dessert.

"Look at it this way, you're a step closer to having Manny out of your life."

"If I don't have a nervous breakdown first! You know, I keep going back to that first morning and I wonder; what was I thinking? Things were so good between Nick and me. So why did I jump into bed with Manny?"

"Don't do this to yourself, okay? You aren't the only one with regrets about Manny. Hell, if I had known how far he would go, I never would have… It fucking makes my skin crawl to think that I let him inside me. I wish I hadn't, then I could be the one to get him convicted and lock his ass up. You can't beat yourself up over this."

"And why not? If I hadn't done it; if I hadn't decided that I would be selfish, we wouldn't be in this mess now!"

"You don't know that!"

"I do know that. The truth is, I had no reason to do what I did. I'd been with Nick almost every day, sometimes more than once up until that morning; everything was perfect! I rack my brain with the _why's_ , and I get nothing." She said with tears in her eyes that she didn't cry. Just then, the waiter came over and cleared their plates away. They waited for him to leave before they started talking again, when Olivia's phone rang. "Benson."

" _Olivia, I've got news."_ Cragen said from his line.

"Lemme guess; you're on your way to get him?" She said, wishing to god that he'd say something different, but she found that wish to be in vain when he got quiet. "You are, aren't you?"

" _We're headed to JFK, now."_

"Captain; I'm a little busy right now, can I call you back? Thanks." She said before she hung up. "I'm gonna go."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing." She said quietly as she reached for her wallet.

"I got this-"

"Next meal." Olivia said, and feigned a smile as she took money from her wallet and placed it on the table. "I'd better get home, I still have a lot to get done before the move." She placed her wallet in her purse.

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll call you later." She said as she got up and took her coat off the chair before she exited the restaurant. Casey sat there a moment before her phone rang and she picked it up to answer.

"Novak…"

* * *

A little later at JFK...

"Remember, you say nothing unless I tell you to." Patrick said to manny as they walked from the plane, with the marshalls.

"Captain Cragen?" The Marshall said to Cragen as they came to the bottom of the snowy runway.

"Marshall Thomas!" Cragen greeted as he flashed his badge.

"He's all yours!" Thomas said as he unlocked the hand and feet restraints from Manny who immediately looked up. Standing there with airport security and Munch, was Cragen, all ready to receive him.

"Shit!"

"You're a hard man to track down, Manny!" Munch said.

"Look, I don't know what you think happened..."

"Save it for the judge!" Cragen said. "Emmanuel Amaro, you are under arrest." He slapped the cuffs on him, extra tight. "You have the right to remain silent…"

"This is a huge mistake." Manny smiled.

"If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say..." He continued as he escorted Manny out of the airport.

* * *

At Nick's precinct...

"Amaro."

"We got him." Fin said.

"Got him?" Nick questioned, quickly answering his own question. "Wait...who, did you get? Manny?"

"Picked him up ten minutes ago."

"Where is he?" He was desperate to get to him, and it was evident in his tone.

"He's on his here way from JFK airport, and Nick, I want you to stay away…"

"Yeah, I'll give that some thought. Thanks!"

"Nick-" But it was too late, he'd already hung up. Fin tried to get him back, but the phone was giving a busy signal.

* * *

Olivia had gotten home nearly a half hour ago. After she'd called Zara at Caesarea's and hung up, she tried to get her thoughts together; tried to calm down but couldn't, and ended up calling Nick, who was on his way to the sixteenth, to come home, and just as she hung up, the doorbell rang.

"Amanda" Olivia said as she finally made it to the door and answered it.

"Hi; I hope I'm not intruding."

"No, come on in." Olivia said as she stepped aside and held the door open with her left hand. "So, what brings you here?"

"Uh; I'm not even- can we talk? I know I should've called or something but-"

"Nonsense. Pardon the boxes." Olivia said as they entered the living room.

"They're fine. You look well."

"I am...well, in spite of the fractured arm. So, what's this about?" Olivia said, seeming short but not meaning to.

"If this is a bad time?"

"No. It's just- I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind."

"Manny?" The moment she said it, Olivia looked away, then nervously sent her hand over her belly, as if drawing strength from her babies. And Amanda had her answer. "I read the report…"

"Then you should know." She said and got up, quickly and moved into the kitchen where she fumbled around, looking for tea bags while Amanda came over and sat on one of the counter stools.

"I came because; Liv, that night you were admitted to the hospital with your head injury...I ran into Manny."

"Let me guess, he told you some lie about why he was there?" She asked while she put water in the kettle and put the kettle over a flame.

"He seemed distressed and we uh; we went back to my place for a beer."

"Amanda...is this going where I think it's going? Did you sleep with him?"

"Olivia…"

"Oh god." She declared as she placed he good hand on her back and took a deep breath. _Was she serious right now?_ "You slept with him?"

"...and he didn't seem anything like you said. He's nice and sweet...and so full of passion!"

"And he's charming and exciting…he drew you in, Amanda. He drew me in too, but underneath all that, he's a monster!"

"Liv-"

"Listen to me; Manny...he's evil! That man put me through hell!"

"That; he couldn't have-"

""He couldn't have"? What does that even mean?"

"Just...it doesn't make sense, is all."

"Amanda, you're smarter than this! Don't be fooled by a big..!" She said then turned around to get the tea kettle that had begun to whistle.

"I'm not fooled; it's just… please don't take this the wrong way, but you've gotta admit that all of these allegations about rape, and your head injury came... at a convenient time."

"Meaning what? You think I'm lying?!"

"I didn't say that. I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it all, maybe find a way to fix it and get you some help."

"Okay, now _I'm_ lost! What do you think I need _help_ with, exactly?" She asked but Amanda realized that perhaps she'd chosen the wrong time for this. Maybe Olivia wasn't ready to face the reality of her situation. She'd seen this situation more than enough times. And an abused woman, would always protect her abus- "...Rollins?"

"Look, I understand that when all of this about the affair came out, you panicked."

"Oh my god!" Olivia laughed as she left the kitchen. She didn't want to right now, but she had to give her back a rest and she walked to the armchair in the living room and with her mug, she sat down. "You think Nick did this!"

"He _was_ arrested Liv. His DNA was in you; hell, it was _on_ you!"

"And if you read that report, you know why."

"I know why you said it was."

 _Did she just?_ Now she was getting mad, and fast, though she fought hard to keep it under control for the babies' sake."Okay…" She said as she stood up. This is going way off course, so before I say something that's gonna make both of us upset, I'm gonna ask you to leave."

"Liv, I just wanna help."

And all her trying just went out the window! She felt angry tears stinging her eyes. _These damn hormones._ "You don't wanna help; you wanna make excuses for Manny so you'll feel justified in the fact that you still want to fuck him!"

"I'm not-"

"No, you come into my house and make these… I can't even think! What's more than ridiculous accusations, not just against me but against Nick? He wasn't the one who raped me, or put me in a coma, or stalked me!"

"Stalked?" That one took her by surprise. Though Olivia had told ADA Barba, all of the details, there were still some that she'd left out of the original report. She was just coming out of the coma, and her memory was fuzzy to say the least. She told Casey what she could remember at the time, which is why there's no mention of what he did to her in the hospital; she hadn't remembered yet.

"Yes, stalked! And why don't you look into why I'm suing the hospital, since you like _checking_ on things! Manny is not a victim like he has you believing. He's a predator of the worst kind! And you need to get out of my house!"

"Liv-"

"Now!" Olivia reiterated, staring Rollins down without so much as a blink. That was enough to intimidate the blonde. Actually, to scare her shitless and she grabbed her coat and backed up a few steps, until she was out of Olivia's reach, then turned around and walked down the hall and out of the front door just as Nick was coming in.

"Hey, Rollins."

"Hi...I was just leaving." She said with her head down and kept going. She didn't even wait for the elevator, she took the stairs, she was in such a hurry. Nick stood there for a minute and watched her go, then went into the apartment. By the time he hung his coat and got into the living room, Olivia was pacing back and forth, her hand on her back.

"What happened here?" He asked. Olivia stopped and turned to him, then came and hugged him. "Hey…" He said as he held her and rubbed her back. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." She assured him while butterflying his lips with hers.

"Nothing? You sure?" He asked as he rubbed her belly. He knew when she'd asked him to come, that it was serious. And even though he'd wanted to go and see Manny, to give him a piece of his mind (and his fist). When Olivia called him, telling him that she needed him, he put all that aside to go to her. And realizing now that he had her in his arms, he knew that he'd made the right choice.

"I thought that I couldn't deal with finding out that Manny had landed, and it turns out, I'm right. Can you stay? I really don't want to be alone right now."

"Come here. I'm not going anywhere." He promised her as he held her.

* * *

At the precinct, Manny was at the fingerprinting station with Fin, who wasn't too nice, or in the mood for Manny's antics that he'd kept up with since he'd gotten there.

"I thought Olivia would be working today." Manny said as Fin didn't reply, against everything in him. "I was counting on seeing her." He smiled.

"Manny…" His lawyer scolded and shook his head.

"Will you lighten up, man?" Manny voiced to a very somber, Patrick. "You're too tense!"

"We're done!" Fin said, and signaled the uni to come take Manny away. "Such a shame that you'll be spending the weekend in lockup!"

"What?" That caught his attention, and he whipped his head around as the officer took him away.

"Oh yeah, 4:49PM, which means court closes in 10 minutes for the weekend… Sorry!" Fin said, sarcastically as Manny left his sight.

" _Don't worry, Manny! It's only for the weekend!"_ His lawyer said as he hurried out after him.

Meanwhile, Amanda was on the elevator coming up, and leaning against the back wall, thinking.

" _You don't wanna help; you wanna make excuses for Manny so you'll feel justified in the fact that you still want to fuck him!"_

" _I'm not-"_

" _No. you come into my house, and make these… I can't even think! What's more than ridiculous accusations, not just against me but against my husband? He wasn't the one who raped me, or put me in a coma, or stalked me!"_

She couldn't be right. Manny wouldn't. He just wouldn't, and for anyone to say that he could… She thought back to the day that he left, when he came to her for help against those spurious charges. Manny knew it but in a moment where she'd allowed herself to be frightened by the lies… _There is just no hope for you!_ She heard her inner voice say. "What?" She responded. _What? You have got to be the dumbest, smart person I have ever met! You have a masters in forensics, and you worked homicide in Atlanta, yet here you are acting like a damn retarded 10 year…_

Suddenly, the doors opened and when she looked up to step off and avoid colliding with the crowd; there he was. He wasn't due until sometime on Monday, but he was here, in the flesh. And in spite of the officer that had him in cuffs, he looked so beautiful" She wanted to kiss him right there, but she couldn't, so instead…

"Emmanuel?" Manny started to speak, but was cut off.

"Shut up, and keep it moving!" The officer said, pushing Manny into the elevator while his lawyer followed.

Manny just looked straight ahead at Amanda. Deep, right through her with those big, sad, dark and sexy eyes. God, it made her nipples hard beneath her coat! And when he subtly licked his lips before just as subtly kissing at her, she was done for; her face blushing terribly from the neck up, while an immediate waterfall hit her panties and her clit swelled. She couldn't move as the elevator doors closed. He stared at her until the final second when the doors closed completely, and even then she was transfixed and stuck in place, staring at the doors. There was no way he could have done what Olivia said he did. So why was her inner voice now screaming at her that she needed to check on that situation at the hospital?

* * *

Back at the apartment later that day…

"...she's fine. Are you okay? ...I will, do I need to come and get Zara? ...okay, I will mami. Bye." Nick said and hung up the phone. "She's handling it better than I thought" He said. " How about you baby? You feeling better?" He asked Olivia as he sat on the couch with her lying with her head in his lap.

"Calmer. I just want this whole thing to be over. I don't want to give birth to these babies with this mess hanging over our heads. I know I caused it-"

"Liv-"

"Please..." She said as she turned over on her back to look up at him. "As much as I appreciate it; please stop trying to sugarcoat this. Manny isn't a back-alley rapist, he did what he did to me because he felt disrespected."

"So that excuses it?" He questioned as she sat up.

"No. It doesn't; not by a longshot. But you have to stop acting like I'm innocent in all of this when the truth is, if I hadn't had that affair-"

"Do you hear yourself? This wouldn't even be an issue if this were somebody else. If this were a victim who walked in tomorrow with this same account of what happened to her, would you say these things?"

"No." She whispered so quietly, it was barely audible.

"No, you wouldn't because it's bullshit. Liv, regardless of what may have happened, he had no right to do what he did, you know this. So yes; you are innocent in this, because no matter how you slice it, he was wrong. And he's gonna pay for it."

"Odd as it might sound, I need you to be angry at me."

"Why? Do I wish that you hadn't cheated, that you'd never had those infidelities with him? Every day! And it hurts, yes, I'll admit that, but I also forgive you, but you have to start forgiving yourself. It's like you sad; you don't wanna have these babies with this mess over our heads. New house, new start!"

Olivia put her head down on his chest and hugged him tightly. "That sounds good." She said quietly and took a deep breath. "Nick, what if the judge lets him out on bail?"

Nick, as he rubbed her back, decided that they'd had enough talk of Manny and changed the subject. "You know, Alonzo has a cabin about an hour from here, and I'm sure if I ask him, he'd let us use it for the weekend."

"Like a vacation?" She perked right up at just the thought.

"A very short vacation, but yes." He smiled as he kissed her head. "What do you say? Unwind before the big move." He lovingly kissed her nose. "You could sleep in; we could make love all weekend without worrying about the noise…"

"Call him." Maybe a break before she had to face this was what she needed. She was sure that when Monday came, she'd be in a state of panic but she'd worry about that later.

* * *

Later that night, at the jailhouse, while the other inmates in the cell went on about their business, Manny was sitting in the corner, thinking about Olivia.

 _He remembered once when they were at his mom's house, how she looked so perfect! Nick and Manny were talking in the living room when Olivia came in the room from the kitchen. She grabbed her purse from the couch and began fumbling inside, all while Manny looked lustfully at her from where he sat._

" _God she looks so good!" He thought. And she did, wearing just a pair of red skinny jeans with a figure hugging white v neck top that you could clearly see her nipples under. She wore the outfit with black stilettos and Manny couldn't help but stare and be enticed at the way her already perfect ass stood out even more. Remembering how it shook when he'd pound into it from behind._

He smiled as he thought about her. As he thought about the way she way she smelled, the way her skin felt like silk; how inside her felt like heaven. And when she moaned… God, those were good times! He thought. Just then, the officer came to the cell and called for him.

"Amaro, let's go!"

"Where?" Manny questioned as he came over to the bars.

"Cop's here to pay you a visit!"

Dammit! He wasn't in the mood for this. He'd spent almost the entire afternoon with those assholes at the 1-6 and he didn't even get to see Olivia. He thought as the officer put the cuffs on him when he opened the cell to let him out.

When the came to a room at the end of the hall, the officer alet Manny walk in first.

"Thank you, Mickelson." Amanda said.

"You have twenty minutes, I'll be waiting right outside." The Mickelson said as he handcuffed Manny to the table then walked out.

"You look good." She said to Manny. He sat there at the table, staring at her. He had to admit, she wasn't so bad herself. Of course, he hadn't been with a woman in nine days, and just being near her right now was driving him crazy.

"Come here." He demanded, and she didn't waste even a second before she got him, spreading herself across his lap to face him. "How much time do we have?"

"Nineteen minutes."

"Good enough…Hi."

"Hi." She said, smiling at him before she leaned in to kiss him.

* * *

 **TBC…**


	48. Arraignment

**Chapter 48 picks up where we left off.**

* * *

.

Late Sunday afternoon, since Liv was sleeping after they'd spent most of the day making love, Nick took the time to just sit out in back and drink a cup of coffee while he watched nature. They were secluded where they were, and between the acres of trees, some of which were still changing their colors before the leaves would actually fall. And the lake, with all of the colors in the late afternoon sky from the sun, Nick was mesmerized.

It was absolutely beautiful here. He and Liv had taken a walk along the lake and through the trees yesterday. He smiled when he thought of how they got a bit...a lot enamored and before he knew it, they were going at it against a giant oak deep in the woods. God the way she came, crying out his name there in the woods. He felt powerful when he thought about it. Yesterday was definitely a day to remember!

As he sipped his coffee, he looked over at the sun in the trees. It was getting low which meant that he and Liv would be leaving soon. Back to the city, with the worries and cares of of life; he just wished with all honesty that he could take Liv and Zara and their soon to be babies, and relocate somewhere like this. Someplace away from everything. It would be better once they moved into their house, but to just totally unplug and get away...this was the life!

He thought about when they would get back, and just what it meant. He'd brought Olivia here so she'd forget about Manny, at least for the weekend, but tomorrow they'd be back in reality, and reality was Manny. That fucker would go before a judge tomorrow, lie and say he didn't rape, or assault Olivia and hope the judge would let him out on bail. _Not that he would._ Nick thought. Manny had already skipped town once, he doubted a judge would give him the chance to do it again m, and he rested on that thought. But then wondered how everything went so wrong between him and Manny. Once upon a time they were closer than close. He loved his brother like nothing else on earth; and he guessed that a big part of him still did. Hell, he's Zara's godfather, and Nick had planned to make him godfather to the twins as well; how could he not know the man he would've died for? Just then, Olivia came out. Wild hair, and Nick's tee shirt taught across her belly.

"Look who it is." Nick said to her as she stood there in the patio door.

"Let's get Zara and go off the grid; we can buy a cabin big enough for the five of us, and be one with nature."

"I was just thinking the same thing; but then I thought that we'd need money to live, and there went that idea." He said. "You look well rested."

"...as I can get. Nick, It's nippy out here!" She shook, rubbing her arms in hopes of warming them.

"I can tell." Nick smiled, looking at her nipples which stuck out, rock hard from his tee shirt. "Tell me you're as naked under that shirt as I'm imagining."

"You are such a pervert!" She said, rolling her eyes playfully.

"When my wife looks like you? Hell yeah!" He said as he took her hand and pulled her onto the seat with him.

"Nick, no, I'm freezing!" She laughed, shivering.

"Don't worry, I can fix that!" He said as he put his arms around her, then put his lips to hers, caressing them softly before kissing her passionately. "...better?"

"Much." She said as she wrapped her arms around him and looked around at their surroundings. "God, it is so beautiful here. I kinda hate that we're leaving in a couple hours. But at the same time, I'm glad because I miss my baby ."

"I love they way you love her." He said with a kiss as he caressed her belly.

"I'm so thankful that we're having these babies, but even without them, that little girl has changed my life!"

"I couldn't have asked for a better mom; for any of them, baby. I mean that!"

"You're welcome, but let's not forget you...I feel so happy, and relaxed. Thank you for realizing this was what I needed." She said with a kiss to his lips. "And now, I'm going inside because I'm turning into a popsicle!" She said as she broke his hold.

"Keep it warm for me."

"...or, you could come inside now, I'm hungry; and not for food!"

"Oh yeah, what'd you have in mind?"

"Well, if someone were to come inside, I really use a lovely, incredibly big, thick cock in my ass."

"You mean like this lovely, incredibly big, thick cock?" He asked, as he stroked it through his sweats.

"That seems like the one." She smiled, and turned to go inside.

"You're right, it's much too cold to be out here!" He said and followed her into the tiny house.

Once they were back inside, with the warmth of the roaring fire heating the cabin, Olivia took Nick's hand and led him toward the bed, kissing him as they went. He quickly took off the tee shirt she was wearing, being careful of her arm and smiling like a kid when her nakedness come into view. They continued kissing while she quickly rid him of his shirt and he helped with his sweats, dying to get at her as he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth before he quickly turned her around and kissed his way down her back to her ass. He slapped it, giving it kisses, then parted it before he went in with his mouth while she moaned her appreciation.

* * *

They made it back Sunday night around eight, and hurried to Caesarea's house to pick up Zara before it got too late.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy!" Zara was so happy to see them, especially Olivia, and ran to her, being picked up and smothered with hugs and kisses.

"No love for me?" Nick asked as Zara lay her head down on Olivia's chest and smiled as her little arms wrapped around her mother's neck.

"Hi daddy, I missed you too!" She laughed before turning to look up at Olivia. "Did they kick yet?"

"Still waiting, bug!" Olivia said as she kissed her nose.

"Can we go home now?"

"We sure can. Why don't you go and get your bag, okay?"

"It's by the door, I'm ready!"

"You sure are. Nick, would you get her strapped in the car? I'm gonna hit the little girl's room before we go." Olivia said as she transferred Zara to her father.

"I got her. Mom, I'll see you tomorrow." He said and kissed her.

"You'll be there…?" Caesarea said, half question, half surprise.

"Olivia wants to be there, so I'm going to support her. Anyway, we'd better get this one home, she has school tomorrow. Thanks again ma."

"Bye abuelita."

"Bye sweetie. You sleep tight." Caesarea said before Nick and Zara went out the door and Caesarea closed it so the heat wouldn't get out. After a couple minutes, Olivia came from the bathroom.

"Well, goodnight Caesarea."

"Nick says you two are gonna be at Manny's arraignment tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I just, I wanna be there; I have to make sure that-" She caught herself when she realized that in spite of what he'd done, Caesarea was his mother and probably felt some kind of way about all of this. "I'm sorry."

"You listen to me. I love my son, but I've made peace with what he's done and I'm not angry that you wanna see him locked up and kept there. Whatever happens, Olivia, we're okay!" She said and hugged and kissed her. "Go home and get Zara to bed. I'll see you mañana…" Olivia nodded as she was too full of emotion to speak. "...and when are you gonna start calling me mom?"

"I'll work on it." She smiled, happy tears in her eyes, and walked out. She wiped her eyes before she got in the car, knowing that things were alright between her and Caesarea.

...

"You okay?" Nick asked as he drove, worried when he saw her tears.

"I'm better than okay. Stop worrying." She said and kissed his cheek. "Zara honey, are you hap-" She said as she turned to look back and Zara was fast asleep in her car seat. "She definitely has the right idea."

"I'm not surprised that you're tired; a double chocolate shake with a double meat, triple bacon cheeseburger and fries."

"Don't judge me, your babies wanted it." She laughed.

"Now they're my babies?"

"Yep, all yours. It's insane the way I've been eating meat lately, and they don't seem to be letting up." She said and looked over at him. He noticed, looking out the corner of his eye and for a smile on his face before he called her out.

"What?"

"I just love you is all!" She said and put her head down on his shoulder, as he smiled and continued driving.

* * *

Monday morning, Olivia woke up with worry. The weekend was over, and with it, her apprehension about Manny came back exceedingly, almost to the point to sickness. But having Nick there, it helped, and gave her some calm, calm that she was so thankful for until she talked with Zara while Nick was in the shower.

"Okay, peanut butter and jelly, as requested." She said as she zipped Zara's lunch bag.

"Thanks honey." Zara said, making Olivia laugh as she continued to pick at her breakfast. "Mommy?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Christmas is coming."

"Just four weeks. Aren't you excited?"

"I am! Do you think Santa thinks I've been good?"

"I have it on good authority that you're in the clear!" She said as she hugged her.

"That puppy is mine!" She said excited.

 _Puppy?_ "Baby, why don't you go and put your shoes on? You're gonna be late."

"Kay." Zara said and kissed her, before kissing her belly twice and then running back to her room and ran past Nick as he came into the kitchen.

"Zara Gabriela-"

" _I know, no running. Sorry daddy!_ " She said from her room and Nick looked back, snickering as he went toward to kitchen, careful not to trip over boxes.

"She seems happy."

"She is. Hey, did she mention wanting a puppy for Christmas?" She said as she got up and put Zara's plate in the dishwasher after emptying it.

"A puppy? No; did she?"

"Just now. Can we handle a puppy with two new babies?" She asked as he poured some orange juice.

"Wait a minute, you're jumping ahead here. We haven't even agreed to this."

"Honey, she's been so good, and she never asks for anything. Not birthdays or Christmases..."

"That's because we already give her everything."

"Nick! Come on, christmas is a month away. If we're gonna do it, we have to decide, now."

"Tell you what: let's just get through today and the move, and I promise, we'll decide by week's end."

She knew she had him then and got a huge smile on her face. "Five more days and we'll be in our new home." She said and kissed him.

"Can you believe it?"

"No. Just like I can't believe how beautiful it is, or that I have a yard…a big one!"

"Or that you're moving to Jersey!" He grinned as he took her in his arms and she wrapped hers loosely around his neck.

"...or that I'm moving to Jersey." She smiled. "But I'd follow you anywhere!"

"Olivia Benson will follow? Can you put that in writing?"

"Ha ha!" She mimicked a laugh and kissed him. "I'm gonna go grab a shower. We're seeing the counselor at 1:30, Please be on time."

"Yes ma'am."

Just then, Zara came out of her room while Olivia was maneuvering her way past the boxes and Nick was drinking orange juice at the counter.

"Mommy, your shirt's wet." She said without stopping and eventually got to the living room where she grabbed her bookbag.

"My shirt-" Olivia looked down at her tank top and again, two wet spots that were getting bigger. "sh-" She almost said, but caught herself and cursed in her head as she went back to her room.

"Daddy, why does mommy's shirt keep getting wet?"

"She… It's um… why don't we let mommy explain later."

"Why?"

"Because- well it's her body, and she'd probably feel more comfortable telling you."

Zara looked at him and sighed. "okay."

"Come on, we'll be late if we don't hurry." He said as they headed for the door, and thinking to himself, _nice save!_

 _..._

After Nick had taken Zara to school and had come back, it was time for he and Olivia to go to the courthouse. Manny was being arraigned today and they both prayed that he he wouldn't be let out on bail. Though seeing as how he ran to get away from the law the first time, it didn't look like they'd have to worry about that.

As he called for Olivia, his mouth dropped when she came out of the bedroom. She was wearing a form-fitting, navy, high neck, pencil dress with black stiletto boots and Nick thought she looked incredible as he stared.

"Too much?" She worried. The last thing she wanted was to appear overdressed for court, but she was more than quickly reassured.

"No; you-you look beautiful!"

She smiled. "Zip me?"

"God, you're incredible!" He said as he stood behind her and took hold of the zipper.

"Stop." She blushed.

"You are, and being pregnant only adds to it!" He said and kissed up her back, to her neck. She was quickly getting lost in the moment, especially when he let his hands trail her hips and ass while he licked his lips and moaned his appreciation, and started to pull her dress up.

"Damn you!" She uttered as she turned around to him. "I promise, later. Now zip me, we're gonna be late."

* * *

"Mr. Amaro, how do you plead?" The judge said.

"Not guilty, your honor." Patrick Sloan insisted.

"People on bail?" The judge asked as Amanda quietly came into the courtroom and took a seat with Fin, Munch and Cragen.

"Remand, your honor." Barba said. "Mr. Amaro ran to another country when these charges first came up, and he has the resources to do it again." Just then, Liv and Nick came in the courtroom and took a seat in the back. Manny, as if sensing a change in the air, turned around and his heart stopped. There she was, looking more beautiful than ever. _She cut her hair! God she looks out of this world with_ her hair cut shorter. _It must be the pregnancy; my babies…_

"Your honor, at the time Mr. Amaro left the country, he was not aware of the charges against him. In fact, he only left the country because of work obligations in Paris and Dubai."

Manny gave a little wave but Olivia kept a stone face, and reached over to take Nick's hand in her lap; determined that she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a reaction. Amanda on the other hand, seated three rows ahead of Olivia, saw Manny wave, and assuming that it was for her, smiled as they continued.

"Mr. Amaro, is there something more interesting you'd rather be doing?" The judge asked, interrupting Manny's thoughts.

"I'm sorry your honor, no." Manny apologized, insincerely as the judge gave an annoyed look before continuing.

"Then why inform the hotel front desk that he was leaving and going back to Florida? And why inform them that he was leaving from LaGuardia airport, when in fact he was leaving from JFK, and scheduled to fly to Miami? The fact is, Mr. Amaro not only knew of the charges, but he fled upon finding out. Hence the private flight to take him out of the country at the the last minute." Barba said.

"Your honor-"

"Save it for trial, Mr. Sloan. I tend to agree with Mr. Barba." The judge said as Olivia and Nick looked on with hope while Caesarea and Vida watched with despair. "Mr. Amaro already ran once, I won't give him the opportunity to do it again. Defendant is remanded, and hereby held at Rikers Island until trial. Next case." He said as he banged the gavel. Olivia registered a look of shock as she stared at Manny while his lawyer whispered something to him.

"I'm fine, I'll be out soon." Manny whispered to Patrick.

"Manny, I'll do whatever I can, this isn't right…" Vida cried while Amanda stood off to the side and Marisol hugged her mother. Vida was in tears as she spoke to Manny, angry at the world that her little brother was here on what she considered these trumped-up charges, but he just stood there thinking how he'd like to talk to Olivia, and he could if Vida and his mother weren't here right now. God dammit!

"Mari, you act as if it would kill you to hug me." Manny said as he held out his arms to receive her, and she reluctantly went to hug him.

"...how could you Manny?" She said dejectedly, then pulled back and looked him in the eye. "They're your family; don't you feel even the least bit of shame?" She asked before she went over to Nick and Olivia, who was sitting there in the pew for a moment catching her breath as she held her belly. "Liv, honey, are you okay? She asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I just, I just don't believe it. I thought for sure…" She started, then turned and hugged Nick. He looked right through Manny, who of course was watching, quite upset.

"We're gonna get to the precinct, you gonna be alright?" Spoke Cragen.

"I'll be fine now, thanks captain; guys." She sat there as they walked out and she turned back to Nick. "Walk me over to the DA's office?"

"Of course." He said as his mother and Vida made their way out of the courtroom, he, Olivia and Mari following. When they were outside in the hall, Nick turned to them. "Mami, Vida, estais bien?"

"Estamos bien, cariño. Olivia, are you doing alright?" She said as she reached out to pat her belly.

"I can finally out my mind to rest somewhat. I - I know this isn't easy for either of you-"

"Easy?" Vida yelled. "Try hell!"

"Vida-" Caesarea said

"No, mami! What she's doing to our family-"

"She is part of this family!" Mari said.

"The part that seduces our baby brother and then accuses him of rape? Why are you even with this puta anymore?" She said to Nick and he was livid!

"Are you out of your mind?" Nick said as he grabbed Vida by the arm.

"Olivia...she's just upset." Mari said but the words had already punched Olivia hard though she tried not to cry, and Mari and Caesarea could see it, but Olivia couldn't hold them back her tears.

"Excuse me." She whispered as she turned around and walked off, ducking into a bathroom further down the hall. "Dammit Vida!" Caesarea said, and quickly went after Olivia while Nick turned and looked at Vida.

"Whore? Really?"

"He thinks he's in love with that slut! Did you know that?"

"So help me Vida, you will not disrespect my wife that way!" Nick yelled, shocking Vida.

"You are _my_ little brother!"

"And I'm a grown ass man!"

Vida looked at him, she wasn't able to stop the tears that dropped down her face. "¿No lo entiendes Nicolas? She's trying to destroy him!"

" _She's_ trying to destroy _him_? He almost killed her and my babies, and you still want to defend that piece of shit?!"

"Because he's innocent!"

"No, he's fucking fixated is what he is! Or did he not tell you he stalks my wife? The phone calls, the videos, the visits before he skipped town?"

"He didn't do any of that!"

"Then who do you think did these things if it wasn't him? Huh?"

"I'm just saying Nicolas, it's convenient for you that all of this blame lands in Manny's lap after their affair comes out and she starts getting hurt!"

"Are you out of your mind? You've gotta blame anybody, as long as it isn't Manny, so it might as well be me! Is that it? First, when have you ever known me to be aggressive with a woman? Second, why would I ever hurt my wife?"

"I don't know, Nick, why would you?"

"You know what I've been going over every single day in my head since I found out about all of this? How wrong I was to leave her in his hotel room when it all came out, because if I hadn't, we probably wouldn't be here right now, who knows right? But you wanna stand here and judge me? Judge her? She's been put through hell because of him!"

"And what about him?"

"What about him?! That son of a bitch is lucky I didn't catch him! Weeks after he raped her, that fucking loser beat her into a coma, but he just left her there because he was afraid of getting caught! I wasn't even around when it happened, I was out with Zara, so tell me how I could've done it, Vida? Then, if that weren't enough, he snuck into the hospital and he raped her again while she lay in a coma!"

"No, he would have told me!"

"Of course he didn't tell you that; I bet he didn't tell you a lot of things. How can you be so easily conned? He's your brother and you love him, I get it. But he's also a rapist who's got a very violent, very dangerous obsession for my wife! And he calls it love? He believes my babies are his for god's sake! "

"Nicolas…please don't do this!"

"¿Cómo puedes ser tan estúpido?! Marisol and Sonia can see it, and thank god now, so can mami! Why can't you?"

"Because he's my brother! Why am I the only one who can remember that?"

"Do me a favor; ask him about those things when you visit him." He said softly as he wiped his eyes, then kissed her forehead, lingering there for a long moment before he walked off to see about Olivia. Vida just stood there for a moment and sobbed before she walked off.

* * *

"We got him held until trial, now comes the hard part… Olivia?" Barba called when he noticed that her mind was elsewhere; in fact it had been since they got here. She was definitely preoccupied, and though he tried to ignore it and discuss the case, he didn't want to appear uncaring. "Olivia, are you alright? I mean do you need a minute? I could..."

"I'm fine." She lied. "So what now?"

"Well, now we go to him and offer him a deal."

"Right. I knew that...I'm sorry. Look, can you handle this?" She said as she got up and grabbed her coat. "I'm not feeling it."

"Olivia, we have to-"

"You don't need me to make a deal with him. Please, I just can't right now."

Barba sighed, realizing that it was already a lost fight. He had worked with here long enough to know that if she didn't want to do something, it wouldn't get done. "Do you need a ride?"

"I'm okay, I'll take a cab. Please, let me know how it goes." She said and walked out.

* * *

Later that day…

"So, how are we since last week." Dr. Melvin, Nick and Liv's marriage counselor asked.

"We were doing fine until this morning." Nick said as he and Olivia sat in the chairs, holding hands.

"And what happened this morning?"

"Again, everything was fine. We'd gotten away for a nice weekend, just the two of us. I tried to calm her nerves before today and it worked. All weekend she was playful and relaxed-"

"I'm missing something."

"Friday, we got the call that his; Manny was at JFK airport." Liv said.

"So he's back? How did that make you both feel?"

"Honestly? I just worried about her, hence the getaway for the weekend."

"And Olivia? What about you, how did you feel?"

"Nervous, scared. And he's right, I had gotten over it this weekend, then…"

"Then…" Dr. Melvin waited but Olivia sat there and thinking about something. "Olivia"

"I just realised how incredibly stupid I've been, practically this whole day."

"Care to share?"

"I do, but with my husband. I don't think we need this week's session after all!" She said as she took Nick's hand, much to his surprise and they exited the office.

"What was that all ab-" He began in the elevator but she cut him off with a lingering kiss.

"Me realizing that I was stupid to let Vida get to me like she did. I'm sure it had something to do with how moody I've been because of this pregnancy, but Nick, it doesn't matter what she thinks. I knew when I filed these charges that I would get this and honestly I don't care. I know the truth, and as long as you support me, I don't need anybody else." She said and kissed him again. "Now take me home, I'm suddenly very horny."

"You think you could leave those boots on?" He asked as they left the building.

* * *

"...we'll be willing to plead out, 10-15." Barba said to Manny as his lawyer sat by his side.

"Does Olivia know you're here?" Manny asked.

"Of course she does, but that's beside the point."

"Why didn't she come with you?"

"Mr. Amaro-"

"Tell her I want to see her. I won't make any deals until I see her."

"She won't agree to that."

"Then we have nothing to talk about, now do we?"

"Manny-" Patrick said.

"Good day Mr. Barba." Manny bid him before calling for the corrections officer to take him back to his cell, leaving Barba and Sloan sitting there in the room.

"Well…" Sloan said to Barba.

"Well indeed." Barba said as he took his briefcase and left.

* * *

The next day, Olivia took a break from packing up the kitchen, the last room that needed doing, and lay on the couch to take a break. Zara of course was right beside her, talking to her stomach like always.

"I'm gonna be the best big sister in the whole world! And I'll even let both of you play with my toys… Mommy, what are we going to name them?"

"I don't know peanut. Daddy and I have been so busy lately, we haven't really thought about names."

"We could name them Zara 2 and Zara 3!" She said, amusing Olivia.

"But what if they're boys?"

"Still Zaras 2 and 3!" Olivia gave a hearty laugh and it felt so good. Nick, Caesarea and Mari spent most of yesterday morning trying to get her spirits up after that incident with Vida in the courthouse hall earlier. She didn't usually let anyone get to her this way, but when you're dealing with family… She found herself wishing for a short time that it was just her again, no family, no problems. But when she looked at her husband and daughter, and felt their babies, she knew that it was just her feeling sorry for herself. Though no matter how much Caesarea and Mari tried telling her that she should ignore Vida, _s_ he couldn't help feeling that all of this was her fault, and she felt that way for hours until she and Nick went to the therapist. Now it all seemed so silly, but the laughter definitely felt good. She needed it and was thankful.

"I think if they're boys, they'll probably want boy names. You think?"

"Hmm, probably. But if they're girls…" She said, looking up at Olivia and smiling. "Mommy, can you tell me some things?"

"Like what baby?"

"Liiiiiike, why does your shirt get wet sometimes? I asked daddy but he said-"

"Let me guess, he said I'd tell you?"

"Uh huh, so why does it?"

"Well, my body is making milk for the babies once they're born and sometimes it leaks."

"Milk?!"

"Yes, milk." Olivia laughed. "Babies aren't able to eat anything so a mommy's body makes food for them."

"Remember when daddy said you'd tell me how the babies would get out?"

"Daddy says a lot of things, doesn't he?" She said with a smirk, and sent her hands over her stomach.

"He does. Can you tell me now?" Zara asked anxiously and sat up on her knees. But Liv was unsure if she was ready to hear it, although she didn't want her believing in storks…

"You know that the babies are inside me?"

"Yes, and daddy says they'll get bigger until they're ready. But then what?"

"Well" She said as she sat up. At the same time, she was hit with a massive craving for sausage and pepperoni pizza. "When it's time for them to be born and labor starts-"

"What's labor?"

"It's what it's called when it's time for babies to be born."

"Why?"

"Well, it's a lot of hard work." _I can taste it! The gooey cheese, those pepperoni cooked up_ _so nice and crispy!_ God, she could literally feel her mouth start to water! "And when it starts, I'll have contractions-"

"What's contractions?"

She thought of what to say without making Zara freak out. "They're what happens when a mommy's in labor, to help the babies along."

"Do contractions hurt?"

Olivia smiled at her. "They can; a lot. But when they're all done, the babies will be born, and daddy and I will be able to hold them." _And the crust! Tony's makes the best crust in all Manhattan!_ And now the babies were jumping around, apparently, they wanted pizza too. She thought as she rubbed her stomach.

"But where will they come out from?"

"Uh, they...well…" _Damn you Nick!_ She cursed in her head. How does she tell Zara something like that without traumatizing her. _God I really want pizza!_ "Hey, since daddy's not home tonight, what say we go out for dinner?" Hearing that, Zara got excited.

"Pizza? Now?!" Zara asked with her mouth watering too and her eyes wide.

"Yes, now." Olivia said as she continued rubbing her belly. She couldn't hold out anymore, the thought of the pizza, the pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese making her almost giggle as she and Zara went to put on their Uggs to get down to Tony's.

* * *

At the prison...

"I wish I could be with you all the time, that this weren't an issue." Amanda said as she fixed her clothes and kissed Manny.

"Soon, hopefully."

"Do you need anything? I could send money to your commissary."

"I'm okay. I have my lawyer sending money so I'm good."

"Right. I'm gonna get out of here, but I'll try to get back as soon as I can." She said and kissed him, then called for the guard to open the door while another came in to get Manny.

"I need to make a phone call." He said to the guard.

When he got to the phone, he knew that Olivia wouldn't take a call from him, so when he dialed it collect, and the operator told him to state his name, he quickly said _I need to see you alone._

 _..._

In the pizza shop after demolishing almost a whole pie, save two slices that she had the waitress wrapping up so she could take them home (they'd come in handy for a snack later). Olivia sat back in her chair, her hand resting on her stomach and not at all sorry that she'd eaten four slices of the cheesy perfection. While Zara sat, equally full after her slice and almost a half.

"That was so good!"

"Uh huh." Zara said, happy and full and she let out a burp. "Oops, excuse me." She laughed as Olivia's phone rang.

"One second… Benson."

" _You have a collect call from Rikers Island Correc-_ " But she quickly hung up the phone.

"Okay, how about we get out of here and go home? I could use a nap."

"Not me!" Zara said.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	49. Come See Me

**Chapter 49.**

* * *

 **.**

 **Two days later…**

Manny told the ADA that he wouldn't make a deal unless she came to see him, and he knows that she wants it; a deal that is, _so what's taking her so long?_ He asked himself? God he was lonely here in this hellhole! He pretty much kept a low profile, didn't talk, kept his head down and stayed to himself and that kept him out of trouble so far.

But he took comfort in knowing that soon, whenever Olivia got there, he would be free. No jail, no trial, no deal. Just free! And once he was out and Nick was out of the picture, they'd be together. And the perfect thing was, Nick wouldn't know why!

"Zara baby, you are gonna bring daddy exactly what he wants and you don't even know it!"

* * *

"I don't know what else to do. I've got the DA on my back pushing me to make a deal with this- Manny!" Barba told Olivia over the phone.

"So do it, make a deal."

"Have you been listening to me at all? He won't hear us on any deal until he sees you."

"And I already told you, two days ago, if you can't reach a deal without me going to visit him, then we'll just have to go to trial!"

"Olivia, please, just think about it."

"Barba, I mean it. I want no part of him. I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Liv- dammit!" He cursed as she hung up.

Casey sat at the counter while Olivia brought over a mug of coffee to Casey who immediately took a sip, and continued with the tea she had been waiting on to cool.

"You don't know what a lifesaver you are, I am totally out of coffee at home." Casey said, turning up her mug.

"It's called grocery shopping, Casey, you should try it sometime." Olivia grinned as she sipped her tea.

"Ha ha! Besides, why shop when I can come right here?"

"Because I'll be living in Jersey come Saturday, remember?"

"Ugh! Don't remind me! Beautiful house, but couldn't it have been in the city?"

Olivia let out a hearty laugh. "If it were in the city, there's no way we could have afforded it, Case!"

"Yeah yeah. So, Barba,still on you about Manny?"

"I think Manny has enough attention on him without me giving him more of it." She said as she rubbed the top of her stomach while Casey took half of her bagel and took a bite.

"I would tend to agree, but think about it, if you don't go and at least hear him out, you're going to face him at trial. Aren't you interested?"

"I'm more interested in this tea!" She said and took a sip.

"Now you're starting to sound like Amanda."

"Don't even get me started on Amanda!" Olivia said as she came around the counter and sat down in the chair. "It's like he's sucked out her brain!"

"Well…" Casey said with another bite. "I've tried, but she's convinced."

"I take it you didn't tell her that you slept with him too?"

"Uh no! That's a piece of history that I'm trying to forget...and don't change the subject, this is about you!" She looked at her watch and realized the time. "...dammit, I gotta go, but we'll talk later! Thanks for the bagel and coffee." She grabbed her coat, purse and briefcase and headed for the door. On her way out, Nick was coming in after a long night at work. "Hey sexy; talk to your wife, please." She said and kissed his cheek.

"About?" But she went on before he went inside. He'd hung his coat when he entered the living room, and couldn't see Olivia who was obscured by all the boxes. "Liv?"

"I'm in the kitchen."

"Seems to be your favorite place lately."

"Blame your children. Hey." She said as he kissed her and rubbed her belly from where she sat, drinking tea. "How was work?"

"So stressful; I'm just glad to be back home after two days. How're the babies, they okay?" He said and sat, reaching for a banana.

"They're fine.

"But…?"

"Barba called. He went to offer Manny a deal...but he won't hear it unless I come see him first..."

"...and you don't wanna go."

"No; I don't."

"Liv, if you're scared-"

"It's not that, I just wanna put this behind me."

"Okay; help me understand. Do you want Manny to agree to a deal or…?"

"Will you stop doing that?"

"¿Haciendo qué?"

"Making sense, that's what!" She said with an attitude and ate another cookie. She took her time with this one; unscrewing it and slowly eating the cream before she dipped the chocolate parts in her tea and ate them. Nick sat and watched her, afraid to say anything for fear that she'd take his head off. But also ridiculously turned on at seeing her use her tongue. He'd learned super fast that mornings in the last month, this pregnancy had turned her and she was always unreadable until it was too late, like now. So he waited until she was done with her cookie, (but wanting to see her eat more.) and she decided to speak again. "Will you come with me?"

* * *

As Olivia, Nick and Barba were in the private visitor's room at Riker's, Nick paced back and forth around the tiny room, silently praying to God that he didn't jump on Manny and beat him to death when he came through the doors.

This was the first time in over a month that he and the little fucker were in the same room, actually close enough to touch him with no guards in between. And Nick hoped that he would not let this get out of hand. After all, he was here because of Olivia, to give his support.

"I don't wanna be here." Olivia said as she rubbed her belly with her good hand when she felt the babies moving.

"I know. And I so appreciate the fact that you came anyway." Barba said as all three of them turned their attention when they heard the door open and in came Manny with an officer. Olivia froze. She thought that he'd been close at the courthouse but it was nothing like now. Now, he was sitting three away from her. He was still close to her; too close. She could smell him, and suddenly, she began to remember the day he caused her to hit her head and fall into that coma.

 _"Answer me!" He screamed as he grabbed her arm and pulled her into him, her back against him. He moved way too fast for her to avoid it. "There are no cops here now, it's just you and me." He said into her ear._

His face changed when he saw her sitting there; _god she was beautiful!_ He thought as he licked his lips while staring at her. Nick could see Manny staring, lusting after his wife while he was standing there. And he couldn't help how tight his jaw got.

"Detectives Benson, Amaro. ADA Barba, do you need me to stay?" The corrections officer asked as he sat Manny down on the other side of the table.

"No, thank you, I think we'll be alright." Barba answered when he saw that Olivia and Nick were busy looking at Manny.

"I'll be right outside." The officer said and left.

She could feel him looking through her. Feeling naked again in front of him and it made her sick.

 _"Manny, no!" She cried as they struggled. He had caused her to drop her phone when he lunged at her and now he was working on getting the knife from her hand._

 _"Come on Linda, be a good girl and put it down!" He said, putting emphasis on 'down' as he took her right hand and hit it against the counter causing serious pain as the knife fell and skidded across the floor. He wasted no time in holding her arms behind her back while he stood in front of her, pinning her against the counter and standing in between her legs._

She was thankful when Barba broke the monotony of the moment, even though Nick continued to stare at Manny.

"Where's your lawyer? He should be here." Barba said to Manny, but Manny didn't seem very concerned at all.

"He doesn't need to be here for this." He said, looking at Olivia and wanting so badly to reach across the table and touch her, any part of her. Her hair, or her hand...god If he could feel the silkiness of her skin!

"Alright, she's here. Say your peace." Nick said, interrupting Manny's thoughts. He watched her so explicitly in her grey sweater, blue skinny jeans and grey suede booties; even with her arm in a cast and sling, he could feel himself getting hard. He looked at her, head to toe. Her beautiful, shiny hair. Her long, graceful neck that lead to those ravishing breasts! He could remember the times he had been with her, his mouth all over them; all over her body!

"You look amazing, Linda." Manny smiled. He knew that he was risking Nick's wrath by saying that, but he couldn't help it, and he didn't care. She did look absolutely gorgeous. And to him, it was worth the risk of angering Nick, which he could see that he'd done.

"Do not look at her!" Nick said almost as fast as the words left Manny's mouth, and never once taking his eyes from him, not even to blink. But, Manny saw one thing; Olivia. And he focused on her with razor sharp focus.

"Do you think we could talk alone?" Manny said to her.

"No!" Nick said.

"Nick…" Olivia said as she turned to him, her hand on his arm to calm him before she turned back to Manny. "I don't think that would be a good idea. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Nick and Barba.

That pissed Manny off. Rafael sat quietly, looking back and forth between Manny and Olivia. And Nick was so angry at this point, and feeling that he would punch the son of a bitch; he got up and walked out, leaving Olivia looking in his footsteps.

"Actually, I can't. Barba, remember, no deal unless I talk to her alone."

Barba started to speak, but Olivia cut him off. "That's too bad, because I'm not being alone with you, and I won't come back here again!"

"Are you afraid of me Linda?"

"You've got a wild imagination."

"Oh, you couldn't fathom what goes through my imagination!"

"And I wouldn't want to. Goodbye Manny." She said as she got up, grabbed her coat and walked out the door to go after Nick, catching up to him halfway down the long hall. He had been standing there against it, trying to calm himself. But so far, he wasn't having any luck.

"Nick-"

He let out a long sigh as he ran his hand down his face before turning to walk down the hall, while she stayed back and watched him. Upon realizing that she wasn't with him, he turned back to face her. "I'm sorry. I just got the urge to-"

"I know... I got the urge to punch him too. I'm sorry I asked you to come here; hell, I'm sorry I came." She said as she tried to throw her coat over her shoulders but failed. "Can we just get out of here?"

Nick quickly took the wool garment and placed it properly on her shoulders. "You wanna go?"

"Thanks babe, and I do." She said as they turned and started to walk down the hall. "...you think we could get your mother to make empanadas?"

* * *

After what could only be called a staring match between he and Manny for the last few minutes, it was Barba who finally spoke up. "So that's what you had me bring her here for, to ogle and make lewd comments? Nice." He said to Manny. He tried hard to hide the disgust he felt, but it was hard considering how sickened he was at the man in front of him. Many times, he'd be handed a rape trial, and the accused would be a mystery. _Did he do it? Did he not?_ But Manny; there was no mystery where he was concerned. He wore his guilt like a badge of honor, while simultaneously denying it. And thinking back to court, seeing the sister; _how could anybody be fooled by this guy?_ Barba was outraged and amazed!

"Now, counselor…" Manny said as he sat smiling.

"You had your chance-"

"Actually, Rafael-" Can I call you Rafael?

"No."

"Well, at any juncture, I think you messed up."

"Really?"

"Just observing."

"Right... I'm sorry, do you think you're doing me a favor? Because you're not. I offered you a deal because the DA as well as the victim thought it would be much better than going to trial, but make no mistake, if it comes to that…" But Barba stopped himself before be went too far. "Good day, Mr. Amaro!" He said, picked up his coat and briefcase, and left.

* * *

Later that evening, at the prison…

"Maybe I can talk to Olivia, you know? She can't be totally unreachable on this. I know her, she'll come around." Amanda said to Manny as she undid her blouse and removed it, and sat on the table in front of him.

"I don't think it would do much good."

"But what if-"

"No _what If's._ Stay away from her about this!" He yelled, causing Amanda to frighten and apologize. Here he was, in jail, worried about his very life and she was causing him more stress.

"...I'm sorry." She uttered.

"Me too." He said, eyeballing her every move. "Why don't you take this off?" He said, as he put a finger under the band of her bra. She quickly took his hand in hers and removed it.

"Uh, how about we leave it on just this time? They're sore." She told him, not that he was listening as he busied himself with kissing her neck and undoing the clasp on her bra.

"I want it off!" He said while he kissed her mouth with want, sticking his tongue in for her to suck, which she did all too willingly. Meanwhile, he got her bra unclasped and off of her in record time. Though she tried crossing her arms over her chest to avert his attention as she called to him while he tossed the white, lacy undergarment.

"Mann-" But he just hushed her as he took her arms away and laid her down on the table, legs spread as he got in between them.

"You wouldn't deny me baby, would you?" He asked then ran his hands over her breasts, grabbing hold of her nipples and pinching them hard between his thumbs and forefingers. "God, you have beautiful breasts, Linda! So beautiful!" He said, imagining that he was between Olivia's thighs, pinching Olivia's nipples. And when he looked at Amanda, it wasn't her he saw lying there, but Olivia; begging Manny to fuck her!

" _I want you so bad baby… Turn me over and give it to me! Fuck me hard, like you mean it!"_

Jesus she was so beautiful! He could deny her nothing as he ran his hands sensually over her body while he kissed her everywhere. When he got to her panties, he stopped, looking up at her beautiful brown eyes before he ripped them off and buried his head between her thighs. He didn't need to get her ready, but god he loved to worship her pussy! Penetrating her with his tongue as far as he could get it while she lay there in ecstasy, moaning his name.

He took her good with his mouth before he turned her over and rammed her pussy with his cock. Filling her and fucking her hard and wild as she gripped the table, not being able to cry out or scream, but she was lost in pleasure as he covered her back with his as he fucked her, and whispered in her ear.

"You like this, Linda?"

"Y-yes... " He imagined that Olivia whispered through ragged breaths as Amanda kissed him and threw it back. She wanted more of him and couldn't get close enough!

"Tell daddy you want this dick!" He said as he thrust hard, into her; so hard that she couldn't speak, she just bit her lip as she whimpered uncontrollably. "Tell me!" He said, and thrust again, harder as he grabbed her hair. This time, she got the message and repeated whatever it was he said. Hell, she would repeat whatever he wanted, give up her family, denounce god if he would just keep fucking her like this! Sore titties be damned!

* * *

 **TBC…**


	50. He Just Doesn't Quit!

**Chapter 50**

* * *

.

 _He stood there, holding her hair tightly in his fist and going insane while she was there on her knees in front of him, naked and sucking his cock for all it was worth!_

 _She used so much spit, just the way he liked it, that it leaked down her mouth and chest and over her breasts covering them in slick wetness. It was already cold in the room and her nipples were stiff peaks that Manny pinched and twisted hard as she sucked him. It sent pain to her breasts, but it was such a turn on! Eventually, he grabbed his dick and shoved it down her throat until she needed air, coughing as he slowly pulled it out, then kissed her mouth, full on while she continued to jerk him and his tongue explored her mouth._

 _"I will never get enough of you, Linda!" He said as he spit into her mouth and she swallowed happily. "Play with your pussy for me baby! That's it; all four fingers in that hole!"_ But his sleep was quickly interrupted by a loud scream on the cellblock, that pierced the night. At first he jumped, nearly off his cot before he realized what the sound was and settled down as he heard the guards running to the cell, somewhere down the hall.

Quickly, he shook off the thoughts he had just been having, a huge smile plastered on his face. He'd noticed that he had a throbbing hard on that needed his attention, and he wished that his dream was real and that Olivia was there to handle it like she just did. "Soon enough." He said to himself, in a quiet whisper as his hand began to stroke his cock beneath his covers and he thought of his brothers wife and how she'd soon be his!

* * *

"Look, you can't mess this up." Casey said to Amanda as they sat in Casey's living room eating Chinese and going over a case file. "When we come in that courtroom Monday morning, I want you clear and concise unless you're asked to elaborate."

"Casey, I know this, relax." She said while eating an egg roll. "So uh; how's Liv, I mean is she-"

"She's doing okay, considering-"

"I know what you're gonna say, alright? And Manny didn't do this."

"Okay; I'm going to say something, and I want you to listen to me, because I really hope that I never have to say it to you again." Casey started in a perfectly calm voice. "Get your head out of your ass!"

"What?"

"I consider you a good friend, and I know that Liv does too, but honey, you can't keep walking around like a newborn idiot with no common sense. Look, I get it okay? He's fucking fantastic in the sack, and if he hadn't raped Liv, hell, I'd still be fucking him."

To say that Amanda was shocked; she sat there with her mouth open, not knowing what to say. She never knew that Manny had been with Casey. Neither of them had mentioned it before. She-"

"Amanda, you can close your mouth. It is what it is. Come sit on the couch…" She said as she got up from the floor. "we need to talk!"

* * *

Later that night, as Liv was in the kitchen making tea, the doorbell suddenly rang. Anxious and surprised that anyone would be coming by so late, she pulled her robe closed over her pajamas and headed to see who it was.

"Barba."

"I know it's late, but I was on my way home and wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm okay."

"That's good."

"I guess. Come in." She said as they walked into the living room. "Excuse the boxes. I'm having some tea, can I get you some?"

"No. I won't be here that long. So, Nick and _"

"Zara."

"Zara." He repeated, committing it to his memory. "They around?" He said as he sat on the couch.

"Sleeping. Which is where I'd like to be but I think the little ones have a bit of insomnia that they're passing on to me, tonight." She smiled while rubbing her belly. "Are you sure I can't get you anything?"

"I'm sure… I uh…" He was struggling, thinking about how he was going to tell her.

"Barba, look, I know you didn't leave work at almost eleven o'clock just to head over here and ask about my husband and daughter..."

He looked at her and decided that outright would be the best way. "We don't have the evidence to make some of the rape charges stick." He said, twisting inside as he said it.

"What does that mean?"

"-the rape… Sloan's going to argue that the hotel room rape was consensual sex." She suddenly got a headache, just that fast.

"What?"

"We got Manny on the hospital assault. There's a witness and co-conspirator in Nurse Lynn, there's what you remember, and the hospital has taken action not just in your lawsuit, but in firing Lynn. And Casey is putting together a rock solid case against her as we speak."

"I waited too long. He had time to clean up, to let the maids clean the scene; destroy evidence..." She whispered to no one upon realizing. And she did. It was over two weeks before she confessed the rape "I screwed this up."

"Olivia, I'm sorry. But like I said, we still got him on the hospital assault. And the attack that left you in a coma, he's not going to get away with it."

"And that's supposed to be enough for what he did? Consensual? He brutalized me; I had the proof all over my body!"

"- that you didn't document!"

Needing space, Olivia got up from the couch and began walking the room as she kept a hand to her stomach. The babies were active now, moving around inside her so she really felt it.

"Or we could try again to get him to take the plea bargain."

"I am not going back there!"

"Olivia-"

"Rafael, I don't care what that bastard or his equally bastardous lawyer says, okay? I know what you can do; you've won cases with far less evidence. I'm a cop for God's sake! I know that'll carry some weight with a jury!"

"Look, just think about it." He said as he stood and grabbed his briefcase from the coffee table.

"I'm not changing my mind. You got me there once, and I'm done."

"Sleep on it, please!"

"Goodnight Rafael." She bade him as she rubbed her belly. She went to lock the door, suddenly thinking that maybe he was right. She knew that she wanted this to be over, but going back to that prison? She didn't want to hear whatever it was that Manny had to say. It wasn't good for her, and it wasn't good for her marriage. Nick tried to act nonchalant, but the truth was, this was killing him; she could see it in his eyes. He was trying so hard to be strong for her when she knew that he wanted to rip everything apart, and she couldn't fault him. He's gone way above and beyond and she didn't know that she herself could be so forgiving.

Locking the door of all its locks, she headed back to the living room, and to her tea. She wouldn't get much sleep tonight!

* * *

Amanda got home that night, a mess. She had been crying on the way, wanting so badly to stop at a bar and drown her sorrows in alcohol but she just wanted to get home, and wash him off her even more. Now, out of the shower, after staying there until the water went cold. She sat on the couch, curled up in her bathrobe with her wet hair and still crying her eyes out, though the tears had long ago dried up and stopped.

 _How could she be so stupid?_ She stood up for that man; stood by him through so much. She loved him, but it turns out, she didn't know him at all! Casey told her a lot. And when Amanda suggested that Casey was just making it up because she was bitter that Manny dumped her, Casey said as calm as she could maintain:

" _I'm doing this because I love you." Before she slapped the holy hell out of her. "WAKE UP, YOU FOOL! Can't you see that he's using you?!" She yelled as Amanda held her cheek._

Turns out, that slap was exactly what she needed to get her listening, clearly, and now, she sat with a slew of regrets running through her head and piecing everything together; seeing How much sense it all made now that her head was clear. "How could I be so stupid?" She asked herself. The whole ride home, all she kept thinking about was how she'd ever ask Olivia to forgive her; and even now, it consumed her. But nothing more than Manny. And as she lay her head across one of the throw pillows from the sofa, she thought how she couldn't wait to see him in the morning!

* * *

"Don't forget, mom is picking Zara up from school and bringing her to the house tomorrow." Nick said as he maneuvered around the boxes, into the kitchen where Olivia was seated on the stool eating toast and he slipped his arms around her from behind. "Come on, one little move for daddy?" He said to her belly as he palmed it.

"They are moving!" She laughed and turned to kiss him.

"You're kidding me. Right now?"

"Mmhm, right under your hand." She said as she caressed her belly. "Aw, don't be sad, they just wanna be mine a bit longer, don't you babies?"

"Well daddy is waiting to feel you guys, so…"

"I have something that'll make you happy."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Zara doesn't want a dog."

"She. Is the best!"

"It should have struck me as a bit strange in the first place, knowing how she feels about them." She said as Nick gave a hearty laugh and she put a piece of peanut butter-covered toast in her mouth. Nick knew that his daughter didn't like dogs. She wasn't afraid of them, in fact, she'd even play with them. But as far as wanting one of her own; that was a no. Zara was a bit of a clean freak and thought that dogs were too messy, and that just didn't jibe too well with her.

"Wait, so what was this puppy thing?"

"The name of a toy."

"To be five, in this day and age!" He said as she gave him a bite of her toast before she picked up her mug of tea and sipped it, then looked down at her belly, quietly and stayed that way for a moment.

"Do you regret coming back and trying to make it work?"

Genuinely confused, he had to ask. "I don't; why would you ask that?" He wondered as she continued looking down. "Liv, honey?"

"I know that I messed up; I messed up big and it's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life; we both will… Nick, I saw you yesterday. You tried to act as if you were okay but you couldn't hide it." She said as she rubbed her stomach.

"Listen to me, this is not an issue-"

"Nick please don't try to placate me."

"Liv… Yes, I do think about it sometimes; I wonder if maybe I moved too fast in forgiving you, but baby, I look at Zara, and I look at our babies and I know that I made the right decision."

"Zara and the twins… we can't make a marriage work on the kids!"

"Is that what you think? Liv, make no mistake, while Zara and these babies are a big part of why I came back; baby the biggest part is because I love you with my whole heart! Yesterday, yes, I was angry but not with you. Mami, what's got you on edge like this?"

She got quiet, thinking if she should tell him, and quickly decided that she should. "Barba came by late last night; Manny's going to claim that the rape in his hotel room was consensual if this goes to trial."

"If it goes to trial, it's still a long time from now. Don't worry about Manny. He'll get what's coming to him."

"When? He's not even back here a week and already he's pulling out his tricks. God, if that asshole, Tucker hadn't arrested you, I could have just stayed quiet about this!"

"Baby, stop!" He said as he took her in his arms."Today is our last day in this apartment, tomorrow we wake up, and the movers come and take us to our beautiful new home. We aren't gonna let him spoil that, okay? And besides, I think Casey was ready to tell me anyway."

"She would." She smirked.

"You're smiling, that's a step in the right direction. When I get home tonight, how about you greet me at the door, naked?"

"I'm pregnant and constantly horny, I can definitely do that."

"Good. Because I'm going to completely wear you out tonight." He said and kissed her. "I gotta go, or I'm gonna be late." He left with her sitting and thinking that maybe he was right. If there was a trial, it was a long way off- at least a year. But still, she had to ask herself, _did she want a trial?_ Maybe Barba was right, maybe she should get Manny to take the deal. Maybe she should go to the prison and hear him out, though the very thought of it made her sick.

Outside, Nick was quickly thinking of what he'd do to Manny, then made his way down the stairs.

* * *

At Rikers Island later that morning, Manny was brought to the private visitors room, and Immediately, his mood lightened when he saw Amanda. He needed somebody to fuck, and she, once again would definitely do as he started kissing and undressing her the second that the door was closed.

"Manny…" She said as she moved out of his grasp, breaking his kiss.

"Come on baby-"

"Don't touch me." She whispered, as she back away. Hoping and praying that she was wrong and that he was innocent.

"What is this?" It of course was insincere, but he asked anyway. He was damn horny and needed her to get over whatever was causing her to act like a bitch so she could take care of his needs. "Talk to me."

"Talk to you…" She laughed/cried. "Was it fun?"

"Was what fun?"

"Using me? Did you do it; rape Olivia? Stalk her, harass her?"

"Amanda; I don't know what you're talking about-"

"And the coma that you swore like everything else...It doesn't matter. I'm actually not in the mood to hear more lies, I just came to tell you that it's over; find a new fool!"

"Baby-"

"Don't okay? I'm done!"

Was she serious? Women didn't dump him; ever. Yet for some reason, Olivia had tried, Casey went her own way and now this bitch? He definitely didn't need her anyway, so why was he trying to save face? She hadn't done him any favors, and to be honest, he was only keeping her around as a just-in-case, she wasn't important. So fuck it! If she wanted to go… "You know why I kept you around, you stupid slut?" He said, his attitude totally changing. And just that fast, she knew that he'd done it. Olivia, Fin, Casey; they'd all been right with everything they told her and she was an idiot!

"I don't really care!" She said to him, shocked at his choice of words as she called for the guard. "The only thing I do care about, is that as of now, you are out of my life and I only pray that Olivia can get you out of hers, for good!" She told him as the guard came to let her out.

"You were just a dick rest, you pathetic whore!"

"Good to know." She said on her way out, walking through the hall and trying her best to keep it in. She signed out her gun and made it inside her car before she completely broke down, sobbing. She really cared about him, and she thought he felt the same and the whole time… "Fuck you!" She screamed, tears falling as she beat up the car's steering wheel, then collapsed on it and just cried.

* * *

 **TBC... Reviews are love. Also, for those over you reading Over Her Head 2, updates coming very soon.**


	51. He Had It Comin

**Chapter 51**

* * *

.

Since he'd gotten to work this morning, and all the way here, he couldn't stop thinking about Manny and what he was doing to Olivia. She was pregnant. A pregnancy that they'd spent so long to make happen. And as much stress as Manny was putting on his wife, he was afraid that something could happen. It was bound to. God knows that this situation wasn't good for her or those babies, and Nick was just afraid of what a push in the wrong direction would do.

Then there was his own issue. He knew Olivia had a hard time believing him, but he honestly didn't hold any mixed feelings about what happened with her and Manny. It was a stupid mistake; granted, one that almost cost them their marriage. But he'd put it behind him. In the beginning, he can admit to himself that he did. He had a lot of misgivings about it they could do this, especially after Manny sent that video. But he realized that if they were gonna work this out, they both had to be all in. And thanks to Olivia demanding that they take marriage counseling. He was able to deal with it before it destroyed them both.

But this fucker; he wasn't giving up so easy! Manny didn't handle rejection very well, Nick knew this. And Olivia rejecting him was more than he could handle. But this had to stop! In spite of all Manny had done, after all was said and done, he was still his little brother. The same little brother that he'd die to protect. And while he didn't want to hurt Manny, he would if it meant protecting his wife and babies from him. He would in a heartbeat! Damn, he wished he didn't have to be here so he could go to that prison!

"Amaro...hello?" His Captain called from the desk. He and five other officers had been called into her office to discuss a case, and so far, Nick was elsewhere. And as everyone in the room was now looking at him...

"I'm sorry captain...I was just thinking…" He lied. "Um, what if we expanded the search to Jersey? I'm sure their PD there wouldn't mind givin us a hand." _Nice save Nick!_

His Captain looked at him, and was silent for a moment. "Good idea. I like a man who pays attention!"

* * *

It was half past ten when she got the prison. Dressed very modestly in a black turtleneck with matching jeans and flat booties. The last thing she wanted to do was give this creep any notion to get ideas about why she was there.

After checking in her gun, and getting to the private visitors room, she sat down for a moment until the babies began to stir, and she got up to walk around the room while rubbing her belly.

"I know…" She said in a soft voice. "I don't want to be here either." She continued walking until the babies were somewhat calmer but still she felt like it was all a mistake with her being here and she was just about to leave when the officer brought Manny in.

"Look at you!" He said as the officer handcuffed one of his hands to the table. Of course Olivia wasn't having it. She'd take her chances another time, but him, he was slick, and she wanted to be sure that he couldn't try anything.

"Both hands, please." She said as she stared at Manny. The officer quickly took Manny's other hand and began cuffing it down.

"Olivia, you're not afraid of me are you?" Manny smiled. But Olivia just stood there, staring at him before she turned to the guard.

"Could you leave us alone?"

"I'll be right outside." He said before he exited through the door and Olivia sat down.

"Taking good care of my babies I see."

"They're not your babies."

But he wasn't listening. "You look amazing! New haircut, which looks so fucking sexy, by the way." But she just continued to stare at him. "You never did tell me how you hurt your arm… Lemme guess, Nicolas?"

"He's not you."

"I never hurt you."

"That's right, you only brutally raped me, beat me and knocked me unconscious then took advantage while I was in a coma, but hey, who's counting right? Then you have the audacity to say part of that was consensual?!"

"It got you here, didn't it?"

"Is this a game to you?! You and I both know-"

"I know that you needed to be corrected, and I did what I had to do."

"What you had to- I don't know why I came here." She said angrily as she stood up and grabbed her coat. "Nothing anyone says will make you understand what you've done!"

"You know, it's a good thing I'm chained to this table, because if I weren't I'd bend you over and fuck you sore!"

"That a threat?"

"That. Baby girl, is just the truth!"

She turned to leave, but then stopped just as she was about to call for the guard, and turned back to face him with tears in her eyes.

"No one will ever believe that what you did to me was consensual."

"They will when I show them the tape of our lovemaking. How hot you were for me, how you begged me to _"Fuck me, fuck me! Go deep...oh god, Manny, don't stop!"_ You remember that don't you, Olivia?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because, I love you! I love you and I want you, and I know that we could be happy if-"

"You're insane!"

"Drop the charges."

"I'll drop those charges when hell freezes over, you hear me? You raped me! You held me down, and you forced yourself inside me-"

"I gave you what you wanted!" He yelled. He was getting angry at her denying her feelings; denying him. And he just wished that he wasn't hanged to that table so he could shake some sense into her!

"I didn't want that!" She cried from frustration.

"But you will Linda."

"Go to hell!" She seethed and again turned for the door. She had her hand on the doorknob when Manny spoke up.

"Zara's mine. In fact, it's what Maria showed up to tell you and my brother and I'm so thankful that she didn't do that because it works out so much better this way."

"You've completely lost it."

"I'll sue for custody unless you drop these charges, and leave that lame ass brother of mine! And then you and I-"

"Stop! Just stop! You wanna hurt Nick and me? Fine, but now you wanna bring Zara into this with a lie? Don't you have any shame?"

"You took my shame when you chose my brother over me!"

"There was no choice, don't you get it? I would never have chosen you over him because I love him! And you don't get to destroy us over hurt feelings and you don't get to drag my daughter into this!"

 _Nick is the only father that child knows, and for you to come and upend that for selfish reasons, is beyond cruel to a little girl who has done nothing but love everyone she's ever met, especially you!_

He heard Caesarea's voice so loud and so clearly. Why the hell was she in his head? And why now?

"You truly will do anything, and I'm not surprised!"

"Meaning?*

"Meaning, you have a serious problem and you need to deal with it! I love your brother, and I love our daughter and these babies that he gave me. And nothing you say will change that; nothing! I came here to beg you to have some decency and not put me or my children through this, but I see that you're just bitter, still, and nothing will reach you! I regret the day that I thought sleeping with you was a good idea, because it's been nothing but heartache! And even now; you're sitting in jail and all you can do is think up ways to hurt us even more. Well, I'm done... You wanna come at us, you take your best shot, because I'm done!" She chided, then took one last look at him before she marched out of the room and didn't look back. Though she was crying as she left.

Inside, Manny just sat there. His mind going a mile a minute, thinking, before he finally called the guard to go back to his cell.

* * *

Sitting around at home was about all that she could do today. She didn't know how to face Fin and Munch. And aside from that, she was just too heartbroken and embarrassed. So she called out, giving some excuse about not feeling well, which wasn't exactly a lie. She had been crampy and nauseous, and her breasts felt like even the gentlest material was sandpaper against her nipples. They were basically on fire for two days now.

She'd cried practically the whole night. And now, she was just numb. She cried for what she lost with Manny, cried for how she let herself fall for him so suddenly. But most of all, she cried for what she did and said to her friend. Olivia had never been anything but loyal to her and when things went awry, Amanda jumped ship, and for what? To be there for a man who wasn't concerned about her in the least? He was just stringing her along because she was easy access and he thought he could use her to his advantage, but where did that get her?

She'd hoped that when she went that prison that she would be wrong. That Manny would prove it to her, that he'd tell her it was all just a lie and she was the only woman for him. The only woman who understood him and that it was her faith in him that would get him through this. But instead, what did she get?

 _"You know why I kept you around, you stupid slut? ...you were just a dick rest, you pathetic whore!"_

"After everything I've been through with him?"

She was brought out of her thoughts when someone began knocking at her door. She got up, and she shouted at the door when the knocking persisted.

"I'm coming!" She yelled, continuing to walk at a snail's pace until finally, she reached the door. She opened it to find Casey standing there, looking as sorry as she felt. "Don't." She said, trying to hold back her tears, and walked off leaving the door wide open. Casey took it as an invite and walked inside, locking it behind her.

"I just came to see how you were doing? You were pretty out of it after our talk last night and then when you weren't at work this morning…"

"I uh, I went to see Manny…"

"Amanda." Casey uttered. She knew. She knew when Amanda started this that it would end in nothing regret. Amanda always fell too quickly. She'd give her heart to every guy too soon, and in the end it only spelled heartbreak. But when Amanda sat there and began sobbing, Casey put her arm around her and drew her head to her shoulder to comfort her. "...it'll be alright, I promise you."

 _Damn you Manny!_

* * *

"Forget the plea bargain." Olivia said as she burst into Barba's office

"Hello to you too." Barba said as he looked up from the briefs he had on his desk. "What do you mean?"

"I mean forget it. I've tried, okay? I went to see him in spite of the fact that I didn't want to. And all I got was the same bullshit!"

"Liv…"

"Barba, I'm done! Alright, there isn't gonna be a deal. And you need to know; he has a video that he's gonna use."

"A video. You never told me there was a video."

"Well, I'm telling you now, you'll find out soon anyway… Look, I'm sorry." She said, sitting down in one of the chairs at his desk and looking like she had the whole world on her shoulders.

"Sorry for what?"

"For everything; I just… I tried." She said, fighting her tears that spilled over anyway. "You have to win this, Rafael."

And there she was. Olivia sitting in his office in tears. He'd never seen her cry before, and it was hella uncomfortable! He didn't know what to make of it, but it was just what he needed to give him that extra push. He wouldn't let Emmanuel Amaro get away with this. If he had to fight it to the death, he would not let him get away. With any of it.

"Dont worry. I'm going to!"

* * *

Nick's precinct…

"Yeah… I will look in the file, just to be sure and get back to you, but I'm pretty certain." He said into his cell phone as he came from the records room. "...okay. I'll get back to you." He hung up as hell got to his desk and out the files down, when Olivia came up behind him and hugged him, causing him to smile.

"Hi."

"Hey mami." He said and turned around to kiss her lips. "What are you doing here?"

"Could we go somewhere and talk?"

"Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine."

A moment later, they entered the crib. Nick held the door for her while she walked inside.

"It's been awhile since I've been here." She giggled, sweeping her hand over the metal headboard of one of the beds.

"It has." He said as he closed the door and locked it. "I think the last time-"

"You weren't sleeping!"

"No. I wasn't was I?" He said as he took her in his arms. "And you were very hard to keep quiet!"

"Uh, that was you!" She laughed.

"It was, wasn't it?" He said and put his hands to her belly. "What's wrong?"

She looked down, then broke from him and sat down on the bed nearest the center of the room. She looked around, then looked up at him. Again she had tears in her eyes.

"I went to see Emmanuel."

Nick immediately tensed up but he tried to relax it as he sat down beside her. "You went there alone?"

"I had to see if I could make him think about this; about what he was doing."

"And did he?"

"Not that I really expected him to." She said and sniffed back her tears.

"What did he do?"

...

"Where'd Amaro go?" His partner, Keith asked detective Leonard as he came in from interrogation

"To "talk" to the wife."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I'd be up there fucking her stupid if it was me! That woman is hot, pregnant belly and all!"

"You are so disgusting."

"Yeah, like you don't think about it! ...he's in the crib."

...

"...I'm gonna fucking kill him!" He said and headed for the door but she quickly got up and ran to the door, putting herself in front of it.

"Nick don't…"

"Liv, get out of my way! That bastard's gone too far!"

"And you taking his head off will make it better?"

"Liv move!"

"No" He didn't waste one second, and quickly picked her up and put her to the side then walked out of the door, taking long, angry strides down the hall.

Wait, was she supposed to be turned on by this? Because right now, she could strip him naked and… "Nick!" She called after him as she walked behind him, but it was a futile attempt.

"Go home!" He barked, never turning to look at her. He just kept walking till he grabbed his coat.

"Nick, you have to-"

"Olivia. Go. Home." He said calmly as he looked her in the eye.

The two of them having a battle of wills in the middle of the precinct. He was going to that jail, and he was going to see Manny. And when he did, he was going to beat the hell out of him. And unfortunately, there wasn't a thing Olivia cold do to stop him and in this moment, she knew that. Without another word, as they stood there face-to-face, she relented and quietly left the precinct.

"Tell the captain I'll be back!" Nick said to Keith as he put on his coat and stormed out of there.

Leonard and Keith were quiet for a moment, and then…

"Told you. Cuttin out to fuck that beauty! Lucky bastard!"

* * *

Manny sat in the cafeteria, staring at his lunch and utterly disgusted! He couldn't believe that they were legally allowed to call this mess food, he thought as he looked at the lump of meat and felt sick. Though that could've been because of what he'd done to Zara. His mother warned him that no good could come of it and she was right. Zara was innocent in all of this, and he had no right to put her in the middle of it all. The truth was, he didn't want her. He knew that back when Maria was pregnant with her and he prayed that he wasn't the father. Then when Nick took the paternity test and it came back saying that he was the father in spite of the fact that he hadn't even slept with Maria, Manny was so thankful, that he went to church for the first time in years and said thanks.

That was when he got the tattoo of the angel on his back. Because if ever he were convinced (though wrongly) that an angel was watching over him, it was then. He didn't want her. Look at the situation. Her mother was a whore; is a whore. Sure, she has Olivia now, but where she came from? He couldn't handle that. So while he enjoyed his role as uncle and godfather, he wanted no parts of the dad thing. And he was glad that Olivia didn't take him seriously.

He wouldn't bring it up again and had silently prayed since Olivia left that she wouldn't mention it to his mother. Or Nick for that matter! He didn't even wanna think what his brother's reaction would be. He'd know one thing over the past five years and that was that that little girl was Nick's life! He'd die to protect her, meaning he'd kill, just the same!

He got up and grabbed his tray to dump it, but was quickly stopped by one of the inmates.

"You gonna eat that?" The inmate asked.

"Help yourself." Manny said, and gave the tray over. Making his way out of the cafeteria and running into a guard.

"Just the man I'm looking for. You're very popular today. You got another visitor."

"Who?"

"Why don't you shut up and go see!" The guard said as he slammed Manny against the wall to cuff him.

...

They had been just gotten in the private visiting room when he was met with a hard blow to his stomach, that sent him doubling over in absolutely pain! But the guard pulled him back up and he was met with the angry eyes of his brother.

"YOU THREATENED MY DAUGHTER?!" He yelled as he punched Manny again in the stomach. This one hurt exponentially more than the first and Manny nearly blacked out! "Do me a favor, take those cuffs off, will you Mike?"

"You sure."

"I'm positive!"

"I'll be outside." The guard said after he did as Nick asked and slipped out, smirking while Manny was still on the floor recovering from the blows to his stomach.

"Get up!" Nick yelled. "You pushed it too far Manny!"

"Let me explain!" Manny gulped as he tried to put air in his lungs. _Shit… Is he wearing gloves?_

"Get. Up." Nick yelled before he grabbed him by the hair and pulled him to his feet, and Manny stood, humped over and coughing. "My wife. Has begged me to ignore you; to let it go because we would get justice the right way. But when you not only threaten my wife and our relationship, but use my fucking princess to do it?" He punched Manny in the face so hard, it sounded like a bone cracked as he fell over the table and onto the floor. "My little girl? You fucked up now Manny! You. Really. Fucked up!"

* * *

"I have to go into the office, but think about what I said.

"She doesn't wanna hear from me Casey. I think I burned that bridge." Amanda said wistfully.

"Amanda, Liv isn't like that, she'll hear you out but you have to make that first step. Look, if it's any help, I'll talk to her."

"Would you?"

"Yeah. But I have to go. And no more tears over him. He doesn't deserve them. I'll call you later." She said and left.

Amanda got up and locked the door and immediately thought about Manny but just shook the thought away just as quickly. She had to rid herself of him. It was bad enough that he broke her heart, he wouldn't control her mind as well. She thought as she went to her bathroom to fill the tub, hoping to soothe her cramps and not think about him.

* * *

Three cracked ribs and a mess of wounds to his face, and bruises and cuts to his body that would hurt for a few days, but he was alive. Nick had done him over. But he lived to talk about it. And as he lay there in the infirmary with his midsection bandaged, and his face unrecognizable right now. Mike, the guard was waiting to escort him back to his cell.

"We'll keep him a couple of hours to make sure he's alright. And then you can take him back." The nurse said to Mike before she went inside to Manny. "How're we feeling?"

"Just let me go back to my cell." He said, through a swollen mouth.

"Not so fast." She said as she looked again at his eye that was shut and the size of a plum already. "You're sure you don't wanna tell me who did this to you?"

"I told you; I fell." He remembered just what Nick had told him when he was lying in a bloody heap on the floor.

" _Don't think for one minute that I can't get to you,Cabron. We're all in blue here!"_

He wouldn't do or say anything to disclaim that.

* * *

She was scared to death and she couldn't call anyone. What would she say? _My husband is at Riker's, beating a detainee?_ She should never have let him go!

She got home and took a bath to try and take her mind off of it, but that didn't work. And now, she sat here in the kitchen, in her robe, fussing over a mug of tea from forty-five minutes ago and she prayed that he didn't kill him. _Why did I let him go?!_

She could have stopped him; grabbed onto him. She could have faked labor pains, hell, she could have had the other officers hold him until he calmed down. But now… Now she didn't know if he was in trouble. What if he did kill Manny? What if right now he was being held and… She needed to get dressed! _Yes_. She thought as she got up from the stool and was headed for their bedroom when she heard the door slam.

"Nick!" It came as a desperate sigh as she hurried to get to the the door and she got as far as the end of the kitchen when she saw him standing there and she stopped. "You're here!" She said. Confused, thankful, and full of tears that suddenly came from nowhere.

He took two steps toward her to close the gap between them and pulled her into his arms, kissing her like it was his last day on earth. He kissed her like there would be no sunrise tomorrow as he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him while their hands went crazy. Each was pulling and tearing at the other's clothing. Biting and kissing each other, tearing at each others necks just to end up kissing and gnashing tongues.

He backed her against the counter and lay her down as he took her nipple in his mouth and sucked hard while he tore her panties away and filled her with his fingers and then licked his way down to her wetness and buried his face there as she cried out.

Their lovemaking was beautiful. It was delicate, but it was desperate, and so filled with their affection for one another even as he greedily claimed what she offered; causing her to cry because it felt so good!

Hours later, they were in bed, still going at it when the doorbell rang, and Liv wanted no parts of it.

"Please, don't answer it!" She begged breathily as she rode him, taking him deep. He felt so glorious that she thought she'd explode from the pleasure she was taking from him! She was cumming again, and… The doorbell. Again.

"Oh god Liv! He cried, quite loudly as pushed up into her and she clenched his dick… The doorbell and this time, knocking with it. "Oh come on!" He said as he turned them so he was on top.

"Baby…"

"I have to. It'll only take a second." He said and gently pulled out of her, loving the sound her pussy made when it released him. Her wetness and juices dripped from his erection and he prayed that whoever it was would leave quickly so he could get it back in her.

She dipped a hand between her open legs to touch her freshly fucked pussy as he watched in awe. She rubbed it, then took her ring and middle fingers and plugged them in her hole, wiggling them around for a few seconds while she moaned then took them out and while they were dripping wet, she put them all the way into her mouth and sucked off every drop while he looked on, longingly, then angrily headed for the door as she laughed.

"Hurry back!" She hollered as he left the room, heading to the door in his sweatpants that he pulled from the chair.

"Hold on!" He yelled to the door, opening it to see their neighbor. "Mrs. Michaels…"

"Nicolas, I'm sorry to be a bother but..,well the noise." Nick hung his head for a moment as he tried not to laugh, slowly picking it up when he felt the urge pass.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Michaels." He said, fiendishly as he turned and looked towards the back of the apartment. "We didn't realize we were…" He had a very amorous wife, with a very wet pussy that he was about 2 seconds from letting off a huge load into, and Mrs. Michaels was cutting into his time, not to mention killing his erection… "Is that all?" He asked. He hoped. He prayed.

"No, not quite. I was wondering if maybe you could come over and take a look at my television. It's been acting crazy since this morning and I don't know-"

"I'll be happy to take a look at it later. But right now, I... _Jesus Christ!_ He thought as he looked when he heard Olivia. She came out of their room, wearing her robe. And not the bathrobe, but one of the short, silk ones that he loved so much. And it wasn't tied very well, her breasts practically spilling from it, giving him a more than adequate peek at her nipples; the nipples that he was in heaven sucking deep into his mouth just a minute ago. Was he just really horny, or did she look like the sexiest fucking woman on earth removing that ice cream from the freezer?

"Oh, I'm sure it'll just take a minute!" Mrs. Michaels said, his attention suddenly drawn back to her. Her grey wig was sitting atop her head as she batted her eyes through her very thick bifocal glasses. Nick looked back at Olivia getting the ice cream scooper and a bowl; god, he knew what was waiting for him just under that robe! But what could he do? Damn this old lady!

"Let me throw on a shirt and I'll be right there, Mrs. Michaels."

"Oh, thank you dear. The door will be open." She said and walked off as he shut the door.

"I'm sorry." He apologized to Olivia as he walked towards her.

"It's okay. I actually love that you're so considerate." She said as they kissed. "Go, we'll finish this when you get back."

"But I don't wanna!" He whined as he nuzzled his head against her breasts and touched her nipple through the opening, with his mouth.

"I promise, they'll be here!" She laughed as she picked his head up and kissed his lips. "Go."

"You know, we should sell this place and buy a house… Oh wait!" He said as they both smiled then he caressed her lips with his own, kissing her softly. "I'll be back."

...

He came back 15 minutes later, thoroughly ticked off. Olivia was sitting in the kitchen at the counter eating ice cream and trying not to laugh. The look on his face right now...

"Did you fix it?" She asked as Nick came to stand behind her and wrapped her in his arms while she continued eating and he kissed her cheek.

"I fixed it the minute I got there..." He said as she put a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "She had pushed one of the buttons for a video game hookup. Then I started to leave and she whips out pictures of her daughter in Minnesota who's had gastric bypass surgery. She's lost almost 200 lbs so far...off of 527!"

"Oh no!" Olivia laughed. "I'm sorry baby."

"No, I'm sorry. All I could think about was getting back here-"

"How about I take time to give you something that'll make you forget about about Mrs. Michaels and her daughter?" She said as she pushed the empty bowl away and slid her hand down the front his pants. She felt him between her fingers, he was already nearly bursting. "Let me help you with that!" She whispered. Shit, any excuse to handle such a big and beautiful thing was enough for her.

"Ohhh-"

"Shhhh!" She said and kissed him before she went down. "Let me take care of you!"

* * *

 **TBC...**


	52. Into Olivia

**Chapter 52**

* * *

.

"I'm glad you could come." Manny said to Nick as he came into the hotel bar and sat down. It had been a long time since the two brothers were able to be in each other's presence, peacefully and be able to talk. And Manny, and Nick were both thankful that the other would give it a chance. It was long overdue.

"Yeah? We'll you said you wanted to talk, so... Talk." Nick said, still not exactly comfortable with being here.

"Can I get you anything?" The waitress asked as she stood in front of Nick and Manny's table with her note pad and pen.

"Just water, please. Thank you." Nick smiled as the waitress walked off, and he turned back to Manny. "So…"

Manny sat, nervously looking down, cracking his knuckles before he took a deep breath and looked up at Nick. "We can't keep going like this, Nick. We're killing mom, Olivia's a mess, and I miss you!"

Nick dipped his head, then lifted it to look Manny in the eye. After all that had happened, he missed Manny too. It was the one thing that was hardest for him. Even harder for him than the fact that Olivia had slept with him to begin with, and it surprised him to hear Manny admit it first. His baby brother; to say he was choked up... "I've missed you to, if I'm being honest." He said with tears in his eyes, leading Manny to cry too.

"I think you're right. Hell, I'm sorry I overreacted the way I did. You didn't deserve it!"

"I should never have tried to cut you out of the picture. I would've reacted the same way. Nick, can we start over, put this behind us? I've been thinking, and why should we be at each other's throats? We can share Olivia!"

"We can…"

"Share her! Maybe even have her together. Can you picture it? Both of us on her; in her. My god Nick, with what we know how to do to women, she'll be so whipped, she won't know if she's coming or going!"

"You think she'll agree to it?"

"Oh yeah!" He grinned wide, thinking of Olivia. God he couldn't wait to get his hands on-

She woke up with a start, sitting up the second she opened her eyes. Opening them quickly and looked around the room, totally confused by that dream and she reached for Nick, only she found a note on the pillow instead.

 _Mami,_

 _Got called on a case, and didn't wanna wake you since you were pretty worn out! I'll see you when I get home._

 _Nick_

She smiled, before she sat up, leaning back on her arms on the mattress, and thought back to earlier today.

 _She'd barely finished sucking him off before he snatched her up, and kissed her hard, so full of lust, and wanting...desperation. And almost as if he couldn't get to it fast enough, he pushed her back against the kitchen wall and lifted her, sinking her down on his cock and loving the sound of her moans as it stretched her and she came, cumming all over his cock within two minutes of him penetrating her!_

 _Later, when he was kissing her while fucking her ass unbelievably savage; she bit down on his tongue when he thrusted and pushed up inside her, almost too deep for her to withstand it. "Holy shiiiiiit!" She cried, it felt like heaven! So unbelievably fucking euphoric! She thought as she bit her lip. He was balls deep in her ass, and though it took some time to get him in due to how big he was, once he was in, and got a rhythm going… She never knew she could love anal so damn much, especially since she got pregnant; it just felt fucking amazing!_

 _She cried out as he rubbed her clit. He had her bent over the arm of the couch, and she was quickly losing it! The delicious pressure in her ass, paired with the sensations in her cunt… Her eyes rolled up while he held her neck and sucked and kissed her there._

" _Nick...Baby…Oh god, OH GOD I'M CUMMING!" She squealed. And she did! She came so unbelievably hard; trapping his hand between her legs while she rode out a huge multiple orgasm, squirting uncontrollably and weeping, while he wrapped her in his arms and held her._

She smiled, getting wet just thinking about how intense it was! She knew when he came in the door, from the look in his eyes that he did not want to talk. And when he went straight to making love to her, she knew that whatever happened between he and Manny was a dead issue until he brought it up, which he never did. So instead, they made love until she couldn't take anymore.

She was blessed to have a man with such size and stamina, but Jesus, she was feeling the effects of their lovemaking, everywhere. He nipples were sore from being sucked and bitten, and she was aching wonderfully in her back and between her legs. Hell, she wasn't sure at this rate, how she'd get through this pregnancy, when she couldn't get enough of that man, but was suddenly drawn out of those thoughts when she felt the twins moving about.

"Hey there." She said to the babies, and rubbed her belly. "You guys awake? Sorry about all the rocking; daddy and I… Well, you guys'll probably get a lot of that before you're born!" She laughed and touched the other side of her belly to feel the other baby. God, she loved this movement, although it was still light, so light that only she could feel it. And while she did love that she got to keep this all to herself, she couldn't wait until Nick and Zara were able to experience her joy. But her joy was suddenly impeded upon when she heard Manny's voice in her head.

 _"Taking good care of my babies I see."_

 _"They're not your babies."_

She quickly shook off that thought just as fast as it had come. She wouldn't allow him to ruin this for her. And even though she'd told herself this so many times, this time she meant it. She hated that Nick had done what he had to do with Manny, but what was done was done. She was happy. They were happy. They had a beautiful family and tomorrow, they were moving into their dream home, and then in a few months, welcoming their babies that they had truly been blessed with. She still couldn't believe this was her life and she especially couldn't believe that she'd almost ruined it over something so trivial. As of this moment, Manny was in the back of her mind, and he would stay there.

* * *

In a bar on the lower east side. Fin walked in, stopping to look around, then finally seeing Nick, sitting in a back booth, nursing a club soda. And he made his way over.

"Why did you have me meet you at a bar if we ain't gon drink?" Fin said as he took a seat in the booth.

"I was waiting for you to get here. Can't stand drinking alone."

"So how come you're here and not at home? Tomorrow is the big day. Two beers, please." He said to the waitress.

"I had to get out of there… I told Liv that I got called on a case."

"You lied?"

"Not exactly...I'm going in a little bit, I just, I had to get out and get some air."

"You and Liv having problems?" But Nick just sat there, turning his glass in his hands. "Nick?"

The waitress came back with their beers, and Fin thanked her. And after a minute in which Nick spoke with regret. "Today, I went up to Riker's, and I beat my baby brother until I broke his bones. And right now, I feel like-" He took a deep breath. "Fin, what did I do?"

* * *

All day he was in his cell, lying down except when the pain became too much, then he'd get up and walk the 6x10 enclosure until he couldn't, and he'd lie back down again. And except for when it was mandatory for him to go to dinner. The Warden thought it would be best if he was in protective custody from this point on. She didn't want him to end up dead before his trial, so he didn't have much of a choice.

Now however, he sat alone in the confines of the cell, and listening to the sounds of the prison and all he could do was think.

He was wrong to put Zara in the middle of this. He'd known that even before Nick paid him a visit, and now, he was just sorry. He deserved that beating for what he did. But now, he was thinking about the rest of what had transpired this day, and he just… His darling Olivia was angry at him, and rightfully so. Plus, he was sure that Amanda hated his guts, but whatever; _she was stupid and he could get her to come back, it's not as if her admitted to anything incriminating. He'd just told her that she was a useless dick rest...and I called her a pathetic whore..._ but he could easily blame that on his emotions running high. The important thing was to get Olivia to come back. Because now, he was ever more determined that Nick would not be raising what he believed to be his babies.

"Fucking bastard!" He almost shouted to no one. "He deserved that beating, but that didn't stop him from being pissed about so much of it. "Fuck it! The important thing is to get the dumb blonde back on my side. She's the key!" He said and couldn't wait until the morning when he could make a phone call.

* * *

Deciding that she was hungry, and would have a small snack before her Chinese food arrived, she went fumbling through the refrigerator and when she didn't find anything, she opened the freezer and nearly squealed in delight when she found the last fudgesicle and quickly unwrapped it after having a moment where she recalled Nick fucking her to climax with one. God, she wanted him right now! Taking a long lick of the huge, dark-chocolate, phallus-shaped treat, and sucking the tip when she pulled it out of her mouth, she imagined it was him just as the doorbell rang.

"It can't be my food already?" She said as she headed to the door and opened it to find Casey. "I couldn't be wrong, just this once?" She asked as she moved out of the way.

"What?"

"Thought you were my food. What are you doing here? I thought you had a date tonight."

"Yeah, me too! My date got canceled, so I thought I'd come hang out with you." Casey said as she took off her coat.

"Nice dress."

"Oh, I know!" Casey said, giving an impromptu spin. "You should see my lingerie. So where's the liquor?"

"Uh, it's in one of the boxes in the kitchen. So you got all dressed up-"

"And he bails. Damn heart surgeon!"

"And you thought to come hang out with me? I'm honored." Liv joked as she took a bite of her fudgesicle.

"Well, Amanda's too depressing, so… What do you have to eat around here?"

"Yes, my food that I thought you were. So wait, why is Amanda depressing? What did I miss?"

Casey gave a satisfying smile when she found the vodka and quickly got a plastic cup from the counter to pour a drink. "Oh that's right, you don't know!"

"Don't know what?"

"I forgot that I told her I'd talk to you…" She said as she came to the living room to sit down. "I literally slapped some sense into her last night, which made her go and see Manny, and he dumped her."

"Oh no!"

"Yep. So now she's depressed, big time and crying because she doesn't know how she's gonna tell you she's sorry."

"Me?"

"Well, she figures that what we've all been telling her must be true, and she's devastated that you and she had that falling out. Yadda, ya, ya!

"Only time will tell if she's serious. But I don't know if I'm ready to let it go just yet."

"Well, I tried." Casey said then took another sip and crossed her legs. "God, I was so looking forward to getting laid tonight!" Olivia shook her head as she ate her fudgesicle. "He's Jamaican and I saw the print through his pants...oh my god!" She laughed, wanting to cry. "Liv, it's so big!"

"You'll have other chances, I'm sure."

"And that and a metrocard will get me a subway ride…"She said and took a sip. "I'm so incredibly randy right now…"

Olivia laughed. "Watching Austin Powers again?"

"Shut up!" She smiled. "Hey, remember that time when we were in Acapulco, and we got so wasted, and so horny…" They laughed at the memory; well the partial memory of them being thoroughly drunk and kissing each other. They could remember a bit of what happened. Them on the floor, making out like crazy, then waking up naked the following afternoon in Casey's hotel room. But what happened in between is a blur, even ten years later. Not that either of them ever gave it much thought since they never have and still don't think of each other that way, but man…!

"...and the tequila bottle!"

"Good times, even if I can't remember it all, but I will NEVER forget that bottle!" Casey grinned. "Gosh, when did we grow up?"

"Correction, I grew up. You're still the reminder of my days past." She laughed and took the last bite out of her fudgesicle.

Casey took a sip of her vodka before she asked. "That is true. You miss it?"

"Honestly? I think; no, I know I'm living the life that I was mean have. I have a daughter now, and a husband who's so incredible, and probably way more understanding than I deserve."

"He is pretty great."

"I don't know that I could've forgiven him if the shoe had been on the other foot. You know, I think back, and I was so… fucking stupid! I love him so much and I almost lost him! I just thank god every day that he saw it in his heart to forgive me. I tell you, never again!"

"You my friend, are better than I am. I could never settle down; too many beautiful cocks in the world!" Casey laughed as she got up to refill her cup.

"You just haven't found the right one." The doorbell rang just as Casey put her hand on the vodka bottle at the counter.

"I don't know, but if that's not be the food, I'm suing!" Casey said as she hurried off to the door.

* * *

"I never wanted it to escalate; I never wanted it to get to that point; you know?" Nick said. "He's my little brother. I never… even after I found out about the affair, I thought that maybe, somehow, someday we'd be able to fix what what was broken. Ya know? But then he raped-" He squeezed his beer bottle, wanting to throw it but getting a grip on his temper."I wanted to kill him then. I wanted to kill him when I found out all the things he'd done to her since she ended the affair."

"You can't be so hard on yourself, man." Fin said as he and Nick drank their 4th bottles of beer. This had been just what Nick needed, even if he couldn't put it out of his head. But being able to talk to someone who wasn't their therapist, who would professionalize the matter. Or Olivia, who would either A) blame herself for all of it. Or B) ...well, there was no B. She would just blame herself for everything that Nick was feeling, and that's the last thing he wanted.

"You know; I know what people are saying behind my back. Even people in my own family… Hell, probably even you!"

"Come on man. You know me enough to know that I'm gonna tell you to your face what I think."

"I know; and I'm sorry. It's just… Fin, do you think I'm crazy for standing by my wife?"

"I think it takes a lot of conviction to do what you're doing. A lot of men wouldn't have the balls; hell, I don't know if I would to be honest. But this ain't about me or anybody else, you dig? It's about you, and Liv and what's best for y'all. And I know she loves you if I don't know anything else."

"I know. She shows me how much, every single day! And I don't mean the sex; though it is seriously off the chain!" He said, getting excited just thinking about it.

"You are seriously gonna make me knock myself unconscious!"

"Okay..." He got up, laughing, and drank the last of his beer, emptying the bottle. "I'm gonna catch a cab..." Then he peeled off some money and tossed it onto the table. "...I'm gonna head home, and- well, I won't say what I'm gonna do when I get there!" He laughed again while he put on his coat.

"Bless you!" Fin said as Nick exited the bar. He then took his last sip, before he got up, and took his jacket from the back of the chair, dialing a number on his phone on the way out. "You busy?"

* * *

"So, ready to go back to work?" Casey asked Olivia as they say on the couch eating.

"I can't put into words now much! It's been great being home and having family time, and time to sort things out-"

"...and fuck your husband."

"You really have no filter, do you?"

"And that's why you love me!" She smiled and Olivia rolled her eyes, playfully.

Olivia put the chinese food carton down, reaching for the water that sat on the table while rubbing her stomach with her other hand. "I think they're finally asleep." She said while Casey smiled, and let her hand join Olivia's on her belly.

"Four and a half months."

"I know, I can't wait until they're born so I can find out what they are."

"Neither can I, I have no idea what color I'm buying for my godchildren and I hate yellow."

"I'm not finding out." Olivia said laughing as Casey phone rang.

"I'll remember this, Benson. Casey Novak… Oh hey. Uh, I already ate but we can meet for drinks... Okay, I'll see you there." She said and hung up. "So that was Marcus…" She said getting up, and fixing her dress.

"Look at that."

"I'm gonna catch a cab to meet him. But I will see you tomorrow...probably late tomorrow!" She coyly implied. Just then, Nick walked into the apartment. "Looks like we're both gettin some tonight! Bye Nick." She smiled on her way out he door.

"What was-" Nick started as he turned to Olivia.

"Casey being Casey. Hi." She said and kissed him on the lips. "Beer?" She asked, tasting it on his breath.

"Yeah." He told her, obviously busted. "I had a few with Fin."

"Oh?" She said, somewhat angered as she went about cleaning up the cartoons from the living room table. But he stopped her by gently grabbing her hands, extra careful of the arm that was in a cast. And he wrapped them across her chest, with his on top, holding her from behind.

"I wasn't honest with you, and I'm sorry. I just, I needed to talk to someone and get out of this headspace I've been in and that's where I was; at a bar with Fin. I'm sorry."

"And you couldn't talk to me?" She asked as he turned her around to face him.

"No."

She stood and looked him in the eyes for a long moment before she asked him: "Is there someone else?" He was completely thrown by the question. There could be nobody else for him and he laughed at the thought. He had everything he wanted, right here. And the fact that she could ask him, though part of him understood why; it angered him. "Did I say something fun-"

He shut her up with a searing, angry, but lustful kiss. A kiss that she could feel his answer in. One that shouted _"How fucking dare you?!"_ as he grabbed her neck and slammed her against the column, tearing at her lips, and pushing his tongue into her mouth to claim it, while she tore at his clothes. Quickly getting his shirt undone, even with that damn cumbersome cast.

"¡¿No sabes que eres todo lo que necesito?!" It came as a harsh whisper as he bit her neck, soothing it with his tongue as he caressed her body over her clothes before he continued kissing his way down to her stomach and planted sensual kisses all over it. "Te amo Olivia! ¡Así que maldita sea!"

He bunched her shirt up over her breasts as he kissed and licked her chest all over before he took an already-hardened nipple in his mouth through her ultra-thin lace bralette. Her nipples were already wonderfully sore from earlier, but still, he sucked, drawing out a little bit of milk, and his other hand went in her leggings and straight to her slit. She was a literal moaning mess, already soaked down there as he continued.

Struggling with the feeling of his mouth on her nipples and his fingers that were dancing- that's the only word to describe what they were doing to her; dancing over her clit, and entrance. She tried with every bit of concentration she could muster to whisper: "Nick.. Oh god, baby, I'm sorry… I'm…"

He pulled away from her nipple. Drawing it out slow, so that it popped from his front teeth. "Shhhh!" He voiced in a husky whisper as his hand continued on her pussy, and he kissed her neck.

 _This man!_

...

Later, when they were lying in bed, covered in sweat and both of them breathing heavy from having just finished making love.

"Oh my god!" Olivia panted heavily as she rolled off of him and onto her back.

"You alright?" Nick asked, knowing that once again, they'd ignored the doctor and her advice and went hard. Even though Olivia promised that she knew her body, but still, he worried.

"I'm goo-" She panted and shook, as her orgasm got its last licks in, and she curled into Nick while she clenched her hands and he laughed. "You bastard!" She said as she began laughing at her body's inability to stop cummng! It was like she was on fire from head to toe! "God I love you."

"And I love you, mami!" He said as he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head as she lay on his chest, coming down again. "And to answer your question from earlier. There's no one else, and there never could be; you've got my heart, Olivia Benson; and there will never be another you!"

* * *

 **TBC… I wanted this chapter kind of dirty and fluffy, but next chapter, the crazy is back. But in the meantime, it would be lovely if you left a review.**


	53. Facing It

**Chapter 53**

* * *

 **.**

 **Five weeks later...**

At the grill near Casey's office, she and Olivia sat in a booth enjoying lunch as Olivia was ending a call.

"Nick, it's fine okay? Casey filled in...yes I'm sure." She laughed heartily at something he said. "Okay...I'll see you at home tonight...I love you too."

"I still can't believe I got to see the babies in person," Casey said as she rubbed Olivia's belly. "Did you know you have two babies in here?"

"Yes, and so did you."

"Yeah, but to see them up close and personal. God, it's amazing!"

"Casey, are you thinking about maybe having one?" Olivia asked as she swallowed her mouthful of food.

"No! ...God, no! ...I don't know, maybe one day, but definitely not now." She said and ate a forkful of pasta.

"Well, a bit of advice, don't wait too long once you're sure..." Suddenly the babies began kicking and Olivia smoothed over her belly with both hands, as she looked down. One of which was newly freed from the cast that had held it the last few weeks.

"They must be kicking again."

"Like crazy...feel!" She took Casey's hand and placed it on her belly. Casey smiled when she felt them moving and looked at Olivia.

"You seem so at peace."

"I am. In spite of you-know-who. But it's hard not to be with all of this happening. We have our daughter, my husband and I are more in love than ever, and we just moved into our dream home and on top of all that, we have these perfect little miracles coming soon. I just; I dreamed of this life but…"

"I know," Casey said, remembering all-too-well the days when, for years, Olivia wanted nothing more than to be with her partner. It was a miracle when, after he left that Olivia ended up falling in love with Nick because Casey thought for sure that they were just sex like many other men had been over the years.

"It's amazing what can happen when you're not looking for it." She said as her phone rang. "Yeah, Captain? ...okay, I'll be there in ten. We gotta go."

"Which case?"

"Waxman."

"Oh boy!"

* * *

Five weeks and he hadn't made a move as far as Olivia and Nick. He was planning his next ones carefully, especially now that he had another to take revenge on.

" _¡Dios mío! ¿Que le pasó a tu Cara?" Caesarea cried and jumped to inspect Manny as he was brought into the general visiting room. She had worried all night waiting to see him, and now finally, she was here and quickly sorry that she had come._

 _There were cuts to his head. Both of his eyes were blacked, with a litany of other damage to his beautiful face. Here it was, just under a month away from being Christmas, and it was bad enough that he was in here, although he deserved it. But he didn't deserve to be beaten, even if he did bring it on himself. And when she saw him, it nearly killed her._

" _I got into a fight." Manny offered, flatly. No explanation as he took her hand in his. But Caesarea already knew._

" _No touching!" The guard shouted to her from the wall of the large room that was full of inmates and their families. Manny dropped his hand and she reluctantly took hers away, staring at him teary-eyed for a long moment before they sat._

" _I was gonna ask how you're holding up in here, but I really don't have to."_

" _Does it matter, ma?"_

" _Yes, it matters" She whispered. "You think it's easy for me to come here and see you like this? Because it's not!"_

" _That's funny, cuz you didn't seem too concerned when you were urging me to come back!"_

" _Because you had to answer for what you'd done. Do you think that means that I don't still love you with every ounce of my heart?"_

" _If you did, then you'd believe me when I say, I didn't do anything!"_

" _Stop it!"_

" _Mam-"_

" _No! What is wrong with you? Did nothing I said to you a few weeks ago get through? Manny, you can't keep going like this! And bringing Zara into it; what did you think would happen?"_

" _So you know?"_

" _I warned you that you were gonna go far!" She said angrily, in a muted voice. Although she wanted nothing more than to yell at him. "Tell me that you didn't do this; that you didn't put Zara in the middle of this, Manny, you promised!_

" _Oh, so, you're on his side?"_

" _Listen to you! You still think this is about choosing sides? Manny, baby, you're drowning and you can't even see it!"_

" _I'm not drowning."_

" _Really? You've put your niece-"_

" _She is not my niece."_

" _You put your niece in between all of this insanity, all because you want to avoid a rape charge? What if they had taken you seriously?"_

" _She is not my niece, she's my daughter!"_

" _She is not your daughter! Have you ever claimed her? Ever even told anybody that she was yours? No, because you didn't want her! You let your brother take responsibility for your actions all these years and you never said a thing. So don't you come with this now, because it's bullshit! No quieres a Zara, quieres lo que crees que Puede Hacer por ti, y te lo digo, Manny, se detiene!"_

" _So what if I do want what she can do for me?! I'm sitting here, faced with a rap that I'm innocent of, and all you can do is-"_

" _Where did I go wrong with you?"_

" _I think you should go!"_

" _Manny-"_

" _...and don't come back." He said and got up, walking out through the prisoners exit and leaving Caesarea in tears._

Five weeks ago, he thought he had a mother who loved him… His own mother. But what did he really expect from her?

 _She said she wasn't choosing sides, but she obviously chose him!_ Still, he couldn't worry about that. He had to get through his time here and worry about them when he got out. And he would get out. His lawyer was working on an airtight defense for him. And though he hated to make Olivia look as bad as he was going to, he had to look out for himself. In the end, he'd make her understand. But first, he needed Amanda!

* * *

On the other side of town that afternoon, Amanda sat in a diner, stirring a cup of hot chocolate that she was slowly sipping from as she waited for her guest. A waitress came by and asked her if she was ready to order, and although she wanted to wait for her company, she was starving and told the waitress to bring her a blueberry muffin. When the waitress walked off, she looked at her watch again; five after twelve. She hated when people were late. It was her one pet peeve, and she wasn't in the mood for it. Not today. Not when everything came down to this meeting that she had put off for far too long.

 _God damn him!_ She thought again, for probably the tenth time that morning. He wanted her to come and see him, and he'dpractically begged her while he apologized again.

Was she crazy? Apparently so, though she'd been apprehensive the whole time she was on the phone. This was, if true, the final nail in the proverbial coffin of Manny. It would prove that she hadn't known Manny, like so many others before she fell for him. And Amanda knew that it would kill her, and even still she didn't know exactly what she would do. Manny had already made it clear to her weeks ago that she was nothing more than a prop to him, so why was she even entertaining going back? Maybe it's because she thought about it, and he didn't actually admit to doing anything to Olivia.

Could it be that perhaps she was too quick to judge? Maybe it was just the emotions of the case that put him on edge and made him say the things he said. She had to know.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Amanda? ...oh, that's right, you're out of your friggin mind!" She said as she teared up and quickly wiped her eyes and just sat there, staring at the people outside the window that were going by, and she saw a young couple kissing at the corner. She longed to feel what that woman was feeling. The truth was, she'd never felt for any man the way she did Emmanuel. Sure, there had been instances of love, or what she thought was love…

"What _do_ you feel for him?" She asked herself, having a sudden moment of clarity. "You barely knew the guy, and here you are, turning your life upside down for him, and for what? A guy with a nice smile and a big dick who swears he's innocent?" No. It had to be more, and on the off-chance that this was just a big mistake if she could in any way salvage this, she was going to try. And she sat in the booth and checked her watch again just as the blonde woman walked in.

She saw her, tall with giant boobs that hardly fit into her coat, and hair piled high on her head. The woman stood in the doorway and looked around the diner before she saw Amanda waving to her, and she made her way over to the booth.

"Lynn?" Amanda asked.

"Hey," Lynn said and took a seat, facing Amanda in the booth.

"Thank you for coming," Amanda said, just as the waitress came back with her muffin. "Can I get you anything, sweetheart?"

"No, just coffee, thanks," Lynn said to the waitress, before turning back to Amanda. "What exactly are you hoping to gain here?"

"Straight to the point."

"Well, we pretty much; thank you." She told the waitress who had come back and poured her a steaming cup of coffee. "We pretty much gave our introductions over the phone. I know what you want, so, no sense in beating around the bush." She said while she reached for the sugar.

"Good enough." Amanda agreed as she popped a huge piece of muffin in her mouth.

"I know that you want to talk to me about what happened."

Amanda finished chewing, then took a large sip of her cocoa. "That day in the hospital; what happened?"

Lynn sipped her coffee, nodding before she spoke. "You mean the day that I decided to throw my entire career away? I wish every day that I could go back and never have taken his money!"

"When you say, ' _him'_ , you mean…"

"Who else? Emmanuel Amaro. The thing is, I knew what he was doing to that woman, the second he offered me money to leave the room, but I took it anyway and kept my mouth closed. God...his own fucking sister-in-law!"

"What exactly...what exactly did he do?"

"I didn't see it blow for blow, but I know it was bad. When her husband asked me to check her out later that day; she had marks on her breasts, like someone had bitten them, and down below…" She said as tears filled her eyes. "There was some bleeding; damage was done to her vaginal cavity that hadn't been there, fresh little tears and traces of seminal fluid… But I just ignored that because her husband was there and I knew it would be over for me…God, I should've said something. And I know it doesn't make a difference now, but tell your friend I'm sorry. I'm just glad that Manny is in jail getting what's coming to him!"

Amanda pushed her plate away, looking like she'd just lost her appetite and fought hard not to vomit, fighting even harder not to cry as she spoke. "And...you're sure about this?"

"Honey, I got no reason to lie. Hell, it's a wonder that I'm not in jail… but Manny screwed me. And I suppose I'm as much at fault, but I lost my nursing license." She said then looked at her watch. "Are we done here? I have an interview to get to."

"Yeah...um...thank you for coming."

* * *

Getting up the following morning and going to work felt like a chore that Amanda just didn't want to do. But still, after taking the rest of the day off yesterday so that she could cry and lick her wounds in private. She knew that she had to get up and face the world today. So in spite of wanting to stay in bed, and soothe her broken heart, she got up, took a shower and got dressed.

"Fuck him!" She told herself, repeating it like a mantra. It would take some time; she knew this. But she would get over him. And as she sat in the kitchen area, sipping her coffee, she thought about her options and quickly decided that it was too much to think about this early. She had so many decisions, so much soul searching to do...

"Stop it, Amanda." She said as she jumped down off the counter and dumped her coffee mug in the sink and left the kitchen area as her cell rang. She lifted it from the end table in the living room, shocked speechless that it was a call from Rikers Island.

Standing there, frozen, and staring at the phone. She wondered what she should do. She even contemplated ignoring the call for a second. She'd told Manny weeks ago that she needed time to think and even still, he'd called her almost every week. But now, knowing what she knows... She even had her finger on red, but somehow, it slid its way over to green, and before she knew it, the phone was no longer ringing, and she stood, not knowing what to do next when suddenly, Manny's voice came through the phone.

"Amanda...baby, are you there?" He asked while Amanda stood in her living room and quietly sat down on her couch.

 _Hang up. Please! Just hang up!_ She said in her head. She couldn't do this right now. Sure, it had only been five and a half weeks, but those five weeks nearly destroyed her, and honestly, she wasn't sure that they didn't. She didn't need this. Not this morning. Not today. Not this week. Hell, not ever! Her heart couldn't handle this, so why did she find herself doing the opposite of what she knew she should be doing, which was hanging up the phone?

"Amanda-"

"I can't talk to you; not now." It came out so broken, so painful sounding.

"Look, I know you said that you needed time…"

"And I meant it!" She sounded way harsher than she meant to, but her mind had been spinning for the last two weeks. And now, hearing his voice for the first time since she found out everything that Lynn had to say yesterday…

"I know, I just...Amanda, baby, I'm miserable without you!"

Ever since she told herself that there had to be some reason for it. That maybe Lynn was just trying to set him up but who was she kidding? It was like Lynn had told her, she didn't have a reason to lie. And almost as if she'd suddenly had a revelation, she knew what she needed to do.

"Manny…" _Was she doing the wrong thing?_ She thought as she fought the tears that made their way to the surface, but she wouldn't cry them. No matter how much he could hear them in her voice. And as much as she hated it, she needed this. "I um…" She said with tears in her eyes. _Don't cry! You can't let him hear that. You can't let him know how much he's hurt you...how much he's…_ "I need to see you."

 _Gotcha!_ He said, oh-so-happily in his head as he smiled. "You don't know how happy I am to hear that." He faked a few tears and made sure she heard them. _Performance of your life, Manny; don't fuck it up!_ He warned himself.

"I'll uh, ill see you soon." She said quietly, then hung up her phone in tears. She quickly dried her eyes before she went about getting her things together, and thinking what a mess she'd made.

* * *

At the Sixteenth, the squad was around the table trying to piece together a case when Olivia returned from the bathroom.

"Sorry about that...again." She apologized as she approached to board, her hands on her back to relieve some of the pressure she was experiencing. Now at almost six months, the babies had grown considerably, and baby B seemed to favor nestling near her spine, while baby A preferred a spot on her bladder.

"Don't apologize, Liv. It's okay." Munch said as Fin came back from the fax machine Meanwhile, Munch put his hand on her back and held her hand while he helped her sit down.

"Munch, I don't need to sit-"

"Don't argue either. And drink your smoothie!" He said as he moved the cup closer to her. She rolled her eyes, playfully and picked up the cup, taking a sip from the straw before she spoke.

"Where were we?"

We got a lead on Romy James." Fin said as he passed the fax around to everyone.

"He had a record in Tennessee for elder abuse?" Olivia seemed shocked, reading the sheet she was just handed.

"Not just abuse, but he got convicted back then for cooking meth!" Fin said.

"I don't get it; how did this guy come here and get a job in old folks home?" Liv said. "I mean, somebody obviously failed on background checks."

"There was none," Munch said, looking at the laptop, just as Nick entered the squad room. "Hey, look who's here!" He said cheerfully. Olivia quickly turned around in time to see him walking towards her.

"Nick!"

"Hey, babe." He said and kissed her, rubbing her stomach. "Hey, guys."

"What are you doing here?"

"I missed you. And since I had a minute, I thought I'd come and make sure you're alright."

"I'm glad you did."

"You got a minute?" He asked as she got up and he followed her into the interview room. Once inside, she locked the door and he closed the blinds before he took her in his arms and delivered a smoldering kiss. Carrying on until he felt the twins kick against his stomach.

"Hey, a moment?" He said playfully to her stomach as he put his hands over it to feel the babies. "I can't believe that a month ago I couldn't even feel them moving and now they're kicking!"

"And you can feel them…"

"And I can feel them! ...did I tell you how much I love you?"

"For?"

"This." He said, motioning to her stomach. "I never got to experience this with Zara, I never got to be a part of this, to feel like my babies know me." His hands roamed her swell as his eyes glistened over with tears. "...I'm going through this, like you for the first time and it feels pretty damn amazing!" She kissed him, then threw her arms around him, holding him tight.

Out in the squad room, Olivia was walking Nick out.

"Leavin' already?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, my partners in the car outside. I'll see you at home tonight." Nick said to Olivia before he gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Later guys."

"Take it easy." Munch said as Nick left, and Olivia went to sit down at the table.

"So about Romy James...hey where's Amanda? Isn't she the lead on this? It's not like her to be late."

* * *

Thinking back to two weeks ago. She still couldn't get over the shock, she didn't think she ever would. _How could this happen?_ She'd played it over and over again in her mind but she could never come to terms with it.

 _He said that this was all a mistake, that he'd said those things out of anger and frustration. He didn't mean them._ But they'd her hurt no less, and then to find out what she'd found out yesterday.

"You are out of your mind!" She said out loud, laughing almost hysterically with tears rolling down her face. This was a mistake! She'd known it when she was talking to Manny. She'd known when she said she needed to see him, this was all a mistake! She couldn't see him and now she felt so stupid for even suggesting it.

There was suddenly a knock on her car window, scaring her out of her thoughts and making her wipe her face before rolling down the window to see the security guard standing there.

"Ma'am?"

"Its detective, actually." She said as she fumbled in her purse for her badge and showed it to him. "Detective Rollins."

"I'm so sorry, detective. Uh, do you need help with something?"

"No. I was just...just...checking my messages. I'm sorry for the holdup." She apologized and drove through.

...

She was in the private visiting room for maybe ten minutes when she saw Manny approaching from outside, through the far window and she braced herself for his entrance. But Manny had other ideas that had began as soon as she said that she needed to see him. She missed him and she couldn't deny it any longer. She wanted him, but he couldn't blame her, hell, if he were a woman, he'd want him too!

 _You fine ass motherfucker!_ He smiled and quickly wiped his face clear of it as the guard opened the door to the visitor's room and they went in.

"Detective." The guard said to Amanda as he brought Manny in and began removing his shackles. "If you need me, I'll be right outside."

Thanks, Bobby." She said as he finished and stepped outside. Manny immediately took her in his arms.

"I have missed you so much!" But when Amanda pulled away without so much as a _hello_ , Manny got worried. "Aren't you happy to see me?" He wondered. Amanda just looked at him as she wrapped her arms around herself and walked to the other end of the room. "Amanda?"

"You lied to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I talked to Lynn; from the hospital; the nurse you bribed."

"Bribed?" He feigned to be shocked at what she was saying.

"Please don't. She told me all about how she caught you, how you took advantage of a woman who was in a coma, a coma that you put her in!"

"Amanda -"

"You raped her!" She said, unable to hold her tears.

"We're back on this again? Baby, I thought-"

"Everything she said, that you swore to me was a lie these last few weeks!"

"Baby, let me ex-"

"Get away from me… never again! I came to tell you that it's over, I don't want you, I don't want anything to do with you!"

"You bitch!"

"Goodbye, Emmanuel. I hope they throw the book at you, you sick bastard!" She said and turned to walk out the door but before she could get it open, he grabbed her by the hair from behind and wrapped his hands tightly around her neck, slamming her onto the table that was in the room.

"You think you can just walk in here and dismiss me?" He seethed, low and angry in her ear as she fought to get him off of her, but he was too strong. "I took pity on you!"

Amanda clawed at his hands, and when that didn't work, she pushed at his face, trying to scratch it as she was quickly starting to lose consciousness.

"Manny...please!" She cried as her voice gave out. But he had lost all sense and the only thing that mattered to him was taking her out of this life! Luckily, the guard caught sight of him and rushed to unlock the door after he hit the alarm.

"Let her go!" Bobby yelled and grabbed manny up around his neck with his club as the other guards ran in and started to beat Manny until he let go of Amanda. She turned over on her side, coughing and gasping for air as the guards threw Manny on the floor and cuffed him.

"Detective Rollins, are you okay?" One of the guards said as he rushed over to her, but still gasping, she let her head off the table and threw up. The rest of the guards pulled Manny up from the floor after he'd been chained, and they started to escort him out.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BITCH! ALL OF YOU!" He screamed as they took him out of the room and he could be heard screaming as he went down the hall.

"Can you stand?" Mark, the guard asked her.

"I'm alright." She said as he helped her off the table and she stumbled into his arms.

"No, you're not. You're seeing the doctor!"

* * *

 **TBC, and Happy New Year, everybody!**


	54. Sick

**Chapter 54 picks up where 53 left off.**

* * *

.

"...thank you for calling, Warden Ramsey." When he hung up the phone, Cragen was shaken by what he'd heard and took and let out a deep breath before opening the office door and stepping almost into the squad room. "Benson. My office." He said, standing there in his doorway, looking stoic which unfortunately neither of the detectives could get a read on, even as they looked at each other momentarily, trying to figure it out before Olivia slowly got up, and went in.

"Captain..." Olivia said as she stood in the doorway, rubbing her belly. Cragen just sat quietly behind his desk while she wondered what he had to say, then closed the door as she came in and stood by the desk. "You seem…"

"I just got a call from the Warden at Rikers."

"You-" And there it was. Like a slap in her face, after not thinking about Manny since the day her family moved into their new house. And she braced herself as she sat. "What did he do?"

"It's not-" He started as she looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"Did he get out?"

"No; he tried to choke Amanda to death."

To say that she was thrown… "He tried… What?"

"Apparently he…"

"I heard you...I just...what was she doing there?" She wondered out loud, but really to herself. She and Amanda had decided to put this behind them weeks ago. After she'd apologized to her for acting like a fool, Amanda swore to her…

"I don't know; I was hoping you did," Cragen said softly. If his officers, especially Olivia were involved in some scheme…

"You know me better than that."

"I do, and I'm sorry. But I had to ask. You know as well as I do…"

"Believe me, I do. Captain, is she alright? I mean physically?"

"She's fine. In fact, she's on her way here." But Olivia just sat there, a look of shock and disbelief washed over her as she rubbed her belly trying to calm the babies kicking. Cragen could see what she was feeling. It was in her eyes and all over her face and he wished he could do something to lessen it. "You look tired. Why don't you take the rest of the day, and I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Captain, that's not necessary."

"You sure?"

She smiled lightly as she got up from the chair. "I'm fine." She said as she walked toward the door. "But thank you."

"Olivia, this isn't your fault."

"I'll try to remember that." She said and walked out just as Amanda was coming in the squad room and she stood there, motionless.

"Ay… Nice to see you, finally." Fin joked. "What'd you do, sleep past the alarm?"

"I uh; my throat was a bit sore..." Amanda said as she put a hand up to her sunglasses to make sure they didn't slip. Olivia looked at her from where she stood at Cragen's door and she felt her heart break as she watched her. She was straining to talk in the low, raspy sounds that emitted but went on to tell her lie as she took off her coat and scarf and draped them over the back of her chair. "...this morning, so I went to the doctor to make sure I'm not contagious. Gotta be careful with Liv and the babies." She said and again, Olivia looked at her as she came to her own desk. This time Amanda looked up at her through her shades and started to cry. Amanda knew that Olivia knew and she suddenly wished she had taken the day off like she'd planned.

"Is Captain in?" Amanda asked no one in particular.

"Yeah" Fin responded gist as his desk phone rang. "Special victims, Tutuola…" Amanda took off her sunglasses, thankful that her hair covered her right eye that a blood vessel had popped in from her being choked so hard. And she turned and went towards the door, knocking before she heard Cragen tell her to come in.

...

Sitting in his tiny cell, Manny thought back to how he came so close to ending Amanda's life. He'd had her so close. So damned close. And then those damned guards! He knows that had it not been for them, he would have done it. He would have choked the life out of her, and in that moment, probably reveled in what he did.

But what the hell was wrong with him? He wondered, as he sat on the floor, against the wall and staring blankly into nothing. "How did it get this far?" He asked himself, out-loud in a voice that was just void of any and all emotion. Yet still, his eyes dropped trails of tears down his face.

He was tired.

It had taken him almost four months, but he'd finally arrived at the point where almost everyone around him knew: He'd lost it! And it didn't have to do with the fact that he'd hurt Amanda; though that was part of it. No, it had to do with the fact that he had caused so much pain to so many people; most of all to Olivia, and this, what happened today was just a culmination of it all and for the first time ever, it was weighing on him.

He'd hurt Olivia. It was like a revelation to him, and he didn't know why, but for some reason, he understood now just how deep it hit. He cared so much about her but he destroyed what was, or what could have been between them.

He thought of the first time they made love,

 _He took his mouth away from her and stood up to his full height "Tell me again how we can't do this!" He said with a smirk, his hand between her legs stroking her as she stood there, her nipples throbbing wonderfully and she couldn't stop this, God forgive her but she had to have him and she gave herself over to him, kissing him hard as he kissed her back, quickly going down to her neck…_

 _He began rubbing her clit while he thrust his fingers inside her, tonguing her mouth as she involuntarily ground her hips against his fingers. What he was doing to her walls and to her clit felt so fucking euphoric, she began to lose it and he hadn't even fucked her yet! "Manny please!" There it was again, her begging only this time she knew exactly what she was begging for._

He realized now that it wasn't like the last when he pushed her down and held her there, forcing her to give to him... He was so angry, he took what he thought belonged to him. All he wanted was to lash out, to be heard. And he couldn't just let her walk out like that.

"Amaro…" Jeff, the corrections officer called to him as he approached his cell. "Your lawyer is here." He said as he unlocked the door. "Get up!"

"I don't want to see my lawyer." Manny mumbled under his breath as he continued to sit on the floor with his knees drawn up, and his head in between.

"What?"

"I said…" and he picked his head up to look at the guard. "I don't want to see my lawyer. Are you fucking hard of hearing?!"

"You piece of shit!" Jeff said as he marched towards Manny, angry enough to rip his head off. But when he got to him and pulled him up from the floor, Manny just stared at him with blank, reddened eyes and a face that had no hope left in it.

"Go ahead...do it. Today is your lucky day cuz I won't even fight back."

Jeff looked at him with disgust for a long moment. "You're not even worth my time!" and he let Manny go, pushing him into the wall of the tiny cell where he stood, lifelessly leaning on the wall.

How did it come to this, this fucking disaster?! He wondered.

* * *

Later, at the precinct, Olivia walked into the bathroom to be greeted by the sounds of throwing up in one of the stalls. Knowing that she and Amanda were the only women in the Special Victims Unit, she quietly stood by the sinks until Amanda finished up and came out of the stall. She was surprised when she turned that corner and saw Olivia standing there and she went straight to the sink to rinse her mouth.

"I must have eaten something…" She said nervously and put her head down before she bent over the faucet.

Olivia waited until she was done, watching her closely as Amanda stood up and pulled a paper towel to wipe her mouth.

"I know…I know what happened, and I'm so sorry."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing happened." She said and tried to walk past but Olivia stopped her.

She gently pulled Amanda's scarf away from her neck and was thrown when she was greeted by angry red, black and blue handprints all over her neck and she gasped. Disbelief and sorrow hitting her all at once. But then, when Amanda looked up at her and she saw her bloodied eye...

"Amanda…" In that moment, Olivia felt like she had put all of this in motion; like all of it was her fault as tears clouded her eyes. "

"Please don't say it." Amanda rasped.

"Say what?"

"That you told me so."

"I wouldn't. You know me better than that."

Amanda stood there in tears. She tried to fight them but so far, they were winning and rolled down her face. "I've been so stupid. I've been…"

"Listen to me; you've apologized..." But Amanda shook her head while her tears continued to flow.

"I can't do this right now...I'm sorry...Cragen's right, I should go home!" Amanda cried and walked out of the bathroom, headed to the locker room. Olivia went to the door and called after her, but Amanda kept going and didn't look back.

"Dammit!" It came from under Olivia's breath as she ran her hand over her mouth and held it there for a moment before putting both hands on her back.

* * *

When Nick's friend from Rikers called him late in the day and told him what Manny had done, the first thing he did was to call Olivia to see if she knew and to ask if Amanda was okay. They talked for a while, but as soon as Nick got home and wanted to talk more, Olivia shut down.

She busied herself with making dinner, then tending to Zara in between that so they couldn't talk. But now that the day was done, and it was just the two of them alone in their bathroom…

"Still don't wanna talk about it?" He asked as he turned off the water and came out of the shower, reaching for a towel. She was sitting on the counter in her nightgown, freshly showered and brushing out her damp hair that was just touching her shoulders. She'd cut it just two months ago but it had already grown almost three inches to which Nick was ecstatic; he loved it long.

"We talked when you called me at work. Honestly, there's nothing else left to say."

He dried his face and hair before he threw the towel in the hamper and wrapped another around his waist before he came over to her. "Baby, Man-" But she covered his mouth before he could get the rest out. Taking her hand away, he kissed her palm, then slowly her fingers one by one. "We can't go the rest of our lives without mentioning him, Liv. He's gonna come up."

"I know… I just…with this case pending and now what he's done to Amanda…" She said, touching his arms as he palmed her belly to feel the babies kick.

"He can't hurt us, you know."

"I know that...look, can we talk about this- or not, another time?"

"Okay." He said and kissed her head.

"I don't want you to...I'm feeling some kind of way about this and it's making me relive my own experiences and i just feel like this, like everything that's happened is my fault...I'm sorry."

"Liv, baby it's okay." He assured her. "the last thing i wanna do is make you feel that way. Don't apologize."

"She walked in after Cragen told me and it was all i could do to not…"

"Hey…" He whispered as he held her head in between his hands so she looked up at him. "You are not to blame for this. You begged her to stay away from him, and that's all you could've done." And he delivered a sweet kiss to her lips while the twins kicked against his stomach and he giggled. "They're active tonight."

"This is them all day."

"I know what would put them to sleep..."

She smiled wanly and shook her head, then got down from the counter. "I'm gonna go to bed. You coming?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, stop worrying." She said and left the bathroom, undoing his towel and dragging it with her in the process.

Nick smiled and hurried after her.

* * *

The entire rest of the day, she lay quietly on the couch in her apartment, lights out and in between sleeping, she just thought.

 _...he grabbed her by the hair from behind and wrapped his hands tightly around her neck, slamming her onto the table that was in the room._

 _"You think you can just walk in here and dismiss me?" He seethed, low and angry in her ear as she fought to get him off of her, but he was too strong._

She quickly sat up. So disturbed, and feeling so much anguish about what happened today and she shook it off. She'd known that he'd be angry when she told him that she had chosen to end it but to choke her? And he would have killed her, she knows this. If the guards hadn't come in when they did, she would be dead. She never expected that he would resort to such violence, "…but what did you honestly expect, Amanda?" She asked herself as her voice strained and tears flowed down her cheeks.

 _God, this all went so wrong!"_ She thought that it hurt the first time he'd broken up with her, but compared to now it was nothing. She didn't have so much at stake then; well, she didn't _know_ she had so much at stake.

She lay back down and pulled the covers then wrapped her arms around her middle underneath them. She still had a lot of decisions to make and right now she just couldn't. But then, she hadn't been able for the last two weeks. Even though she'd apologized to Olivia, in her heart of hearts she was hoping that she was wrong about Manny. That Olivia and Casey were wrong and that he really did crack under the pressure. But when Lynn told her… suddenly all her dreams went up in smoke. There was no chance of them somehow doing this together and all she knew was that she had to end it. She just never thought that doing so would almost take her life and that of their child.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	55. Randomly, but Not

**Chapter 55 a week later.**

* * *

.

He didn't sleep at all this past week. Instead, like now, he just lay awake on his cot thinking about things.

 _"What I did to you? What about what you did to me? I gave you my heart and you just treat it like it was nothing. The minute Nick found out about you and me…"_

 _"Don't"_

 _"You can try to demonize this if you want but I did what I did for us!"_

 _"For us? I see, so when you tore and bruised me, you did it for us? You didn't leave marks, you left bruises! What happened between us on Saturday wasn't sex or love, it was rape! You brutalized and raped me and you would have done it over and over if I hadn't hit you with that lamp and gotten the hell out of there!"_

 _"I gave you what you needed, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat!"_

He couldn't believe that he'd said those things to her...that he did those things to her. All night long he could hear in his head her crying, begging him to stop.

 _As he pulled her hair from behind while he tore into her, and she silently cried after realizing that crying out loud and begging did no good. Manny was in heaven as he fucked her, so hard that he noticed he was covered in her blood when he pulled out. He had torn her…_

He couldn't stop thinking about her and not in the way he usually did. He didn't think of how he'd make love to her, or how he punished her because she wanted Nick. It was like a curse because all week he thought about nothing but the fact that he had violated this woman that he claimed to love.

He'd hurt lovers, often humiliating them to the point where he'd mentally broken so many of them. He'd lied and cheated; even to his loved ones. And the only person he'd ever been honest about any of it with was his father, who'd only ever encouraged his behavior because all-in-all, Manny was acting just like him.

He remembered when he and Nicolas Senior had talked when Manny returned to Miami after getting Olivia in bed. He and his father had a good laugh that all of this was going on under Nicks' nose. And he had a field day telling his dad how incredible she was and that he thought, for the first time that he was in love, which his father had strongly advised him against his whole life. He was fourteen years old the first time his father said it.

" _Women are for convenience. Dale a una mujer buen sexo. Dale a sus bebés. Diablos, incluso dale tu dinero para gastar. Pero amor ... ¡No existe, muchacho!"_

" _Love doesn't exist_ …" He said to himself, alone in his cell. "You told me that my whole life, Papi… So why did Nick find it?" He shouted and dropped his face into his hands.

Even after what he and Olivia had, she still wanted Nick. It's like she craved him! Manny had fallen for her and fallen hard, but even when he had her crying and going crazy from fucking her so good, even tumbling going over the edge of ecstasy. They always ended up with Nick somewhere in their aftertalk.

He'd never had a woman that he couldn't have completely under his control; _look_ _at Amanda_. He thought. But Olivia; no matter how hard he tried, how good he fucked her, she always went on about how unfair she was being to Nick; always! And the biggest insult was that she'd leave Manny every time to go back to him. Always to him, when all Manny had wanted was for her to love _him_ , to want to stay with _him_! But he realized, sitting here in his cell, like a divine revelation, that as much as he wanted it to happen, it never would. And now, he was sitting in jail because he wanted it, wanted her so badly. He laughed through his tears at the irony.

* * *

The end of that day and Nick lay in bed as he watched tv. Olivia came into the bedroom from Zara's room just down the hall after putting her to bed and shut the door.

"Halfway through, "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight", and she's out like a light." She said as she stopped to take off her robe and drape it over the foot of the bed. It had been a long day, and she was exhausted and was thankfully all ready for sleep. Being six months pregnant with twins was tiring, to say the least, and she stretched her back again before she went into the bathroom to remove her contacts. "Remind me why I got pregnant at forty-two?" she uttered as she stood halfway between rooms and slipped her lens into the case.

"I thought you wanted to have a baby," He said as he turned off the tv, and sat the remote down on his nightstand.

"I did. And I do, I just didn't realize that pregnancy would be so hard. Nick, I'm swollen in places I didn't know I could swell!" She complained as she turned on the small video monitor that sat at her bedside and when she had Zara on the screen, sleeping peacefully, she climbed into bed and turned off her lamp.

"...and you're even more beautiful!" He welcomed her into his arms where she let out a sigh when she settled in, resting her head on his chest as she allowed the day to melt away from her body while he played with her hair. "I know its hard, but think about when it's all over and you get to hold two perfect, little… uh, children?" He laughed as he let his hand rest on her belly so he could feel the babies kicking inside. He still didn't know what they were having. And he, like Zara, just wanted to know.

"Tell me again why we're waiting?" But instead, she grinned and swatted his chest, playfully.

"You won't die!" She said tiredly and with a yawn as she rubbed her belly. "These little ones are only six months old and they have me completely worn out. I think I'd probably go crazy if you weren't here to help me with all of this."

"Well, you never have to worry about it; I promise you, I'm not going anywhere."

"that's good to know...baby, you promised to take the tree down on your day off, and that was today,what happened?" she said as she closed her eyes.

"I know. It seems like we go through this every year with Zara."

"We do, but it's cute."

"It is pretty cute." he agreed. "I promise, I'll get it down this weekend, one way or another."

"Up against a five year old?" She smiled. "Good luck with that."

"I'll need it."

"You hear that?" She asked softly as she snuggled up closer to him.

"Hear what?"

"Exactly. There's no noise. No sirens, no people. I never thought that I wouldn't miss the bustle of the city, but this is serene."

"I did well then?"

Instead of a verbal answer, she looked up and kissed his lips, slowly and passionately. "I love you."

"and I love you!"

* * *

She'd been away from work for an entire week. Not being able to bare talking to, or seeing anyone. Just at home, in those same pajamas, she'd been wearing all week. She hadn't showered, she'd barely consumed anything aside from coffee and simply out of frustration and stress, she started smoking again and a saucer full of cigarette butts sat on the coffee table of the living room which had become somewhat of a mess since she hadn't felt like cleaning.

Her mind was basically a mess. When she wasn't sleeping on her couch, she was lying there in tears all times of the day, with a cigarette between her fingers like now. And biting her fingernails down to nothing. God, if her head would just be quiet and let her think!

" _You. Are pregnant." The doctor said as he came into the small examination room, holding a folder._

" _I'm...?"_

" _Pregnant. According to your blood work, you're about four weeks along, but we can get a better ready when we do the ultrasound."_

She remembered like it was just yesterday that the doctor told her. He'd asked her to schedule an appointment for an ultrasound, but she just couldn't. Instead, she grabbed her things and left, not believing it. She didn't even get her prescription for prenatal vitamins, she had been so distressed. One thing that was clear: she didn't want this baby. Not just because Manny was the father but because of everything that she knew would follow this child because of who its father is. He's a rapist. Her baby's father is a rapist. How much better would she be if she knowingly decided to take on that stigma? What would she be doing to this child that she wasn't sure she could love anyway, despite the fact that it was hers without Manny.

 _...Manny is not a victim like he has you believing, he's a predator of the worst kind!"_ She could hear Olivia telling her.

 _Predator of the worst kind!_ She wished that she had listened to somebody. Listened to Fin, or Casey, but most of all, she wished that she had listened to Olivia. But once again, she chose a man over everything else and where did it get her? She wondered as the quiet was suddenly disrupted by somebody knocking on the door. Without moving from her spot on the couch, she shouted at the door:

"No thank you." but the knocking came again. This time she waited a few seconds before she yelled her refusal again. "I said, no thank you. I don't want any. Now go away!"

"Amanda, it's Olivia," Olivia said from the other side of the door. Amanda, suddenly frozen, went quiet and when Olivia got no response after a moment… "i just wanna see if you're alright," she said and waited a few seconds with still no answer. " Amanda, I already know you're in there and I have to pee… Amanda?"

She didn't want to have to explain to her super why there was suddenly a large pool of urine outside her apartment. So, against her better judgment Amanda, pulled herself up from the couch and made her way to the door, opening it.

"Come i-"

But Olivia was already halfway to the bathroom and slammed the door as she rushed inside. Meanwhile, Amanda locked the door and went back to lying on the couch, under her blanket.

It was a minute before Liv came out, coat in hand and walked over to Amanda's form on the couch, threw her coat in the armchair. She started to sit on the coffee table. But seeing the mess of coffee cups and cigarette butts that were littered all over it, plus not trusting that it would hold up under her weight, she sat in the chair where she threw her coat. "I wanted to come by and make sure you were okay."

"I told you i was. You wasted a trip." Amanda said from under the covers.

"You told me you were three days ago. And I can see that you're clearly not...have you left this apartment at all in the week that you've been gone from work?"

"I haven't felt like it," she said as Olivia looked at her friend lying there, looking a mess, along with the condition of the apartment.

"You've taken up smoking again."

"It relaxes me...why are you here?" she asked as she sat up on the couch.

"Amanda..."

"You know what? Don't. I really can't stand to hear it right now" she was fighting hard to hold her tears back, to not crash again while Olivia was in her living room. But at the same time, wanting nothing more than to fall apart and tell her everything.

"Whatever it was that happened, you can't let him break you down like this."

"it doesn't matter anymore."

"Of course it matters, especially when it comes down to the fact that he hurt you."

At the mere mention of that day, Amanda's eyes filled up with tears that she quickly wiped away. "We're not all as strong as you are."

"I'm only strong because I have too much in my life to keep me going, and I won't give him the satisfaction of breaking me and neither can you,"

Just then her phone buzzed, alerting her to a text. "Dammit!"

"It's okay; go."

"I don't wanna leave you like this,"

"Olivia, I'm fine. Please, go to work.

"I'm gonna call you later," Olivia said as she put on her coat and grabbed her purse. "Amanda, please, get dressed, get outside and do something to take your mind off this. I know you're hurting, believe me I do, but don't let him do this to you. I'd better go. Answer the phone later, please." She said before she left.

Amanda got up to lock the door and for the longest time she just stood there, leaning against it with a hand to her stomach as her tears slowly made their way down her face.

* * *

Later at the precinct, Olivia sat in the crib talking to Casey on the phone.

"How's Amanda?" Casey asked Olivia. She had been in L.A. for the last ten days working a case, on loan from New York City and missing home.

"She's a mess. Her heart's broken. She was getting over it but now, ever since he tried to strangle her, Case, I've never seen her like this before."

"I wish she had listened before this got out out of hand

"There's something else,"

"Jesus Liv…"

"I wasn't gonna tell you this, because I'm not even sure, but…I think...I think she's pregnant."

"Amanda? Are you fucking kidding me? God, this just keeps getting worse! Listen, their calling my case so I have to go, but I should be home, finally tomorrow night."

Suddenly, the door opened and Fin poked his head in.

"Hey Liv, I got a woman in the box, five hours and she's still not talkin. You wanna take a crack at her?"

Olivia didn't even have to think about it. Having been reduced to phones and paperwork, she savored the idea of doing an interrogation.

"Does Captain…"

"Don't worry, I cleared it."

"Case, I gotta go. I'll see you when you get back." she said before she hung up, then turned back to Fin. "Let's do it"

* * *

" _Hoy es el día, mami!"_

" _Can you believe it?" She smiled. It was finally here. They would start their new life today!_

" _No, I can't." He said, as he lay down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. She looked at him, lying there, and she reached out to caress his face as her eyes filled with tears that spilled before she could stop them. "Hey, you alright?"_

" _Just emotional; this pregnancy…" She whispered as he wiped at her tears, and kissed her face. "I just, I never knew that I could love someone as much as I love you."_

" _Baby…"_

 _She looked him in his eyes as hers filled up again. "I'm so sorry that I ever hurt you. You didn't deserve it, and I-"_

" _Hey...we're leaving all of that behind, remember? Today we're starting over._

" _You know, you are the love of my life, and as long as you love me..." It became so clear to her, in this moment, that she'd rather die than ever cause him pain again. And that's exactly what she told him; tears in his own eyes. "It's really going to be different with this move."_

" _I know it will."_

Nick smiled as he sat in the car with his partner who had just gotten back in with their drinks.

"What's got you so giddy?" Keith asked and took a big sip from his coffee.

"Just thinking," Nick said as he opened the table on his drink. "Thanks man."

"Wanna share?"

"Not really." Nick grinned and sipped his energy drink. "I guess I'm just feeling grateful is all."

"I'd be grateful too with a woman like that,"

"Man, shut up!" He laughed. "you know what I mean. We've gone through these last few months, and we've come out of it stronger. Maybe we'll renew our vows, I don't know. I think that reaffirming our love, our commitment...I'm sounding hella sappy right now!"

"Nah man, you're not. I think it's beautiful that you acknowledge the hardship. That's what a relationship is all about, working through the hard times. It's what makes it all worthwhile, you know?"

"Do I ever."

"And let's be real, you, are not gonna do better than that woman right there!"

Nick laughed at Keith.

"Go home and thank your lucky stars, or Jesus, or Buddha, Allah..." He laughed in all good camaraderie. In the the two years they had been working together, he'd grown to love Nick like a brother, and Nick, he.

Just then, NIck's cell phone rang.

"Yeah, Captain...yeah, we're right near there...we will meet them there, okay." He hung up before turning to Keith. "There's a situation at the Brathwaite hotel." He said and took the car out of park and pulled off, full speed.

* * *

Another long day that he spent in turmoil, and late that night, Manny paced his cell. He knew exactly what he had to do, but he dreaded it all the same.

 _How can you say you love her, yet cause her so much pain?_ It was the only thought that entered his mind this past week. Olivia. He loves her so much, but finally coming to terms with, and understanding that she didn't love him; never had. That was something entirely crushing, but it was true. It had finally gotten through to him that everything he'd done had hurt her, including the affair.

He thought about everything, again, that happened these past few months. He turned his back on his own mother because she was just trying to make him see how wrong he was. Wrong about Olivia, wrong about Nick; about Zara… He brought her into this. His mother was right; he'd never tried to love that child as a father, never even claimed her but yet he didn't hesitate to put her in the middle of everything to get what he wanted; what he thought would make sense in the end but all it was doing right now was making him sick! The jealousy of Nick, the manipulating his mother… "Olivia…" He said, pitifully as he let out a breath. He knew what he had to do. And knowing didn't make it easier, but he knew. And with this knowing, after a week where he'd gone through every possible emotion, it was time. And with that in mind, he called the guard.

"I need to make a phone call."

* * *

The next morning...

"Nick…!" Olivia moaned as she fisted the sheets that lay around her. She writhed, with her head thrown back in the pillows, and eyes squeezed tight as she bit her lip. She was in heaven; that's the only way she could describe it- heaven as Nick was between her thighs and eating her so good that she was in tears as she cried out her ecstasy! She was literally on edge; literally pushed over that edge, and she cried as she grabbed his hair, trying to push him away but he wasn't going anywhere. He was using his fingers now, filling her wonderfully and hitting her spot along with his mouth on her clit. _Damn, she loved him, even more, when he ate her like this!_ But, holy shit she was about to explode!

"Cum for me, mami!" He said as he released her clit from his mouth, just long enough to speak the words, but he left his fingers in place and was using them effectively. She was coming- coming unglued, coming undone, coming apart even more as he went back to feasting on her pussy with a smile on his face.

"Baby...baby…" She gasped, over and over. His mouth; it was like a dream. And as he withdrew his fingers and now used both hands to open her while he used his tongue to fuck her, she was cumming! She arched her back as she opened her mouth and struggled to not let out a cry that would have shaken the room.

He licked her pussy clean as she writhed against the pillows, exhausted as she came down from- she didn't know how many orgasms this one made this morning but she was completely spent as she pushed his head away from her; she was just too sensitive to even think straight right now.

"God, you taste like heaven!" He said as he kissed her belly, so sensually, starting from her mound, and working his way up. He even lingered in the middle and tongued her navel before he continued to kiss his way up, pushing her nightgown aside so he could suck on her nipples.

"Oh my god!" She whispered as she laughed and cried. Brushing her hair off of her now sweaty face. Giggles and tears had overtaken her and Nick simply smiled, then kissed her neck and finally, her lips as she wrapped her arms around his naked torso and held him close, loving the taste of them together as she licked his lips.

Good morning beautiful." Nick said to her as she smiled.

She moaned with her eyes closed, and he smiled as he came back to her mouth. Olivia felt so incredibly happy as she woke up this morning. She loved that she had woken up next to Nick, in his arms. Five after seven and the sun was shining beautifully as she took a moment to just lie there, taking a deep breath, and feel her babies moving about inside her as her gorgeous husband was busy kissing her. Well, that, plus he'd just fucked and eaten her until she couldn't see, hear, or think straight! "Nonono!" she laughed, closing her legs as his hand went between them.

"Lucky you, I have to get ready for work," he said as he he kissed her lips again "you guys okay?" he asked with his hand on her belly.

"We are SO good!" She laughed, trying to steady her breathing. "but now, I need to sleep before Zara's up." She said as he got out of bed. She was looking at his cock, hanging there, so gloriously between his legs and drew her bottom lip between her teeth; he had thoroughly exhausted her with it and his tongue but seeing it…

"...something you want?" he joked.

"Yes, but I can't take anymore of it right now."

"I better get in the shower. Get some rest." He said before he kissed her and walked off to the bathroom, but not before she slapped his ass as he walked, then laughed as he disappeared into the bathroom, and she heard the shower start.

She cuddled up in bed against the pillows and rested her hand on her belly, rubbing it gently just as her phone suddenly rang.

"It's a bit early to be calling me." She said sleepily to Barba.

"Good morning to you too. So, we have a situation."

"What situation?"

"It was too late to call you last night after his lawyer called me. Are you working today?"

"No, I'm off, thankfully" Her eyes were closing though she tried to keep them open". You wanna clue me in?"

"Uh, I'm about to head out to the office," he said as he was in his closet picking out a tie. "how soon can you get there?"

"Rafael, what's going on?"

"How about we discuss it when you get here?"

"How about we discuss it now?"

"Olivia...and hear me out. I know you're not going to want to hear this, but-"

"If this is about Manny-"

"He wants to see you,"

"I'm hanging up…"

"Olivia...you might wanna hear him out this time."

* * *

 **TBC… More to come, in the meantime, please leave a review. Thanks in advance!**


	56. Making Amends

**Chapter 56**

* * *

.

"...he wants to see you," Barba said as he tied his tie in the full-length mirror.

"And I told you, I am done with this."

"Olivia, he's already agreed to a plea but only on the condition that he sees you face to face. He says it's important."

"See…are you kidding me? Rafael, he's playing you and trying to play me but I'm not falling for it, and you shouldn't either."

"He's on the up-and-up this time,"

"I'm not listening to this, that man is poison, and I'm done...my daughter's awake, I gotta go," she said and hung up as Zara came bouncing into the room.

"Mommy, Mommy!" she shouted as she ran into the room, dressed in her footie pajamas and too excited as she jumped up onto the bed. "There was a Bambi outside my window!"

"There was?" Olivia said as she sat up.

"Uh huh, but I hit the window trying to get his attention, and he ran away!"

"Maybe he'll come back before the fence is done."

"I hope so. Mommy, are the babies awake?"

"They are, you wanna feel?"

"Yes please," she said and quick as she could get up to Olivia, her little hands were on her. "They're moving!" she laughed as she lay her head down on Olivia's stomach so that she felt them on her face. No matter how often Zara often lingered at her belly, she would never get tired of the absolute joy and wonder in her daughter. Zara, every day was just so excited about the babies and Olivia felt often like she was experiencing this pregnancy not only from that of a mother going through it but through Zara's eyes as well. "good morning, little babies." She said and laughed even harder as they kicked softly against her cheek. She kissed and hugged Olivia's belly. "I love you too! ...Mommy, why can't we find out what they are?"

Olivia smiled at Zara. _God, she was just so cute._ "You sound just like your father," she said as she curled Zara's hair around her finger.

"but I really wanna know!" she whined with her lip poked out and Olivia couldn't help but laugh as her hand rested on the top of her swell.

"I know baby, but it's only a few more months," Olivia said as she cupped Zara's face. "So, we have the whole day. What do you want to do?" She asked Zara who in turn thought for a moment before asking:

"Anything?"

"Anything"

"Can we go to the bookstore?"

"We can"

"...and then come home and lay in bed and you can read my books to me and we can watch movies?"

"You already have this day pretty planned out, don't you?" she laughed "how about we go downstairs and make breakfast first?"

"Pancakes?!"

"You don't ever get tired of pancakes, do you?" Olivia laughed as she tiredly got up and took a breath, the simple action tiring her. Her nightgown came cascading down around her legs as she put her robe on, and she stretched her back.

Zara looked up at her as they left the room. "You smell like daddy," she said, making Olivia smile.

"I do?"

"Uh huh…can we eat breakfast in bed?"

"Nice try, but no"

"Aww!"

* * *

"Emmanuel, we can beat this…" Patrick Sloan told his client as they sat in the private visitor's room.

"I've made up my mind, Patrick,"

"Manny, think about it. We have the tape, and with what I'll sell to the jury, we'll get you off and make Olivia look like the worst liar in the world. Please, don't do this!"

"I've been doing nothing but thinking this past week and I was wrong. Patrick, I hurt someone that I cared deeply about; still do care deeply for. I wanna make this right."

"Are you kidding me? Tell me that you're kidding me…"

"I'm not, and this discussion is over."

"Manny-"

"No. I've caused her enough pain, it's time to let it go."

Patrick gave a forlorn sigh as he put his head down. He couldn't believe his client was just going to give up. But what could he do? He was paid by Emmanuel to get him off, but if Emmanuel no longer wanted that… "You want to make a plea deal with the D.A., you want to turn over... Manny, once you go down this path, I can't undo the damage."

"...take this letter and get it and the rest of the things to Barba. I'm expecting visitors soon."

* * *

A little later, downstairs in the kitchen, Zara was seated at the island counter eating her pancakes while Olivia stood with a mug of tea in front of her but she was lost in what was going on inside her. The babies were moving about and she was just amazed, standing by the counter with her hands on her belly feeling them move, and smiling.

"...hello? Liv?" Nick called, chewing a bite of Zara's pancakes from where he stood at the coffee machine, in his coat, pouring some into his travel mug.

Olivia immediately snapped out of it. "I'm sorry, I guess I just got lost in my thoughts,"

"I can see that...you alright?"

"Yeah, I just…" her eyes had gotten teary and she stopped to fan them with her hand. "do you want some breakfast? I could-" She started as she headed towards the refrigerator, but Nick stopped her by putting his arms around her and palming her belly while he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Thank you, Mami, but I'll grab something on the way in." He said and smooched her cheek before she turned and buried her head in his chest. "Hey, it's alright," he said as Zara stopped eating and looked on.

Crying, Olivia lifted her head. "I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Shhh, mami, you're allowed to be emotional and cry," He said as he wiped her tears.

"I hate it!"

"Mommy, are you okay?" Zara asked, nearly in tears herself as she hugged Olivia around her middle.

"I'm fine, baby. This pregnancy just has me all over the place"

Zara appeared in deep thought for a moment with her finger under her chin. Finally, after some consideration, she asked. "Are the babies crying too?" causing Olivia and Nick to laugh.

"No, mi amor, they're fine. Come here!" He said playfully as he lifted her up and smothered her face with kisses as she laughed. "I love you, baby," he said as he put her down and gave her another kiss.

"I love you too, daddy"

"Go, eat your breakfast and I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay"

"So Zara was telling me she saw a deer outside her window. I better get to work on that fence," he whispered to Olivia.

"I think so." She smiled as she looked at Zara. "Can I talk to you?" She then said to him. "Zara, sweetie, I'll be right back. "and she and Nick went out into the foyer by the front door.

"Everything okay?" He asked as he rubbed her belly.

"I got a call from Barba while you were in the shower…he said that Manny's agreed to take the plea deal"

"Mami, that's great"

"It's not…" She told him, removing his hands from her body and looking him in the eye. "he wants to see me, first"

To say that Nick was fuming inside was an understatement. He was livid, but for the sake of Olivia and the babies, he kept it under control, at least he thought he did. But when his jaw tightened and flexed, and his ears suddenly flushed a deep red…

"Baby, don't get upset."

"I'm not upset" He lied and took a long sip of his too-hot coffee and burned his tongue. Of course, he was upset! His maggot of a brother was once again reaching out to his wife he fucked and then raped, and eventually put her into a damn coma… No, not upset at all! He thought as he took the mug away from his mouth quickly and sat it down by the door as he put his fist to his lips. _SHIT!_

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine...what are you gonna do?"

"What do you mean? I'm not going to see him. I told Barba that I'm done with the whole thing,"

"You sure?"

"I'm beyond sure. This is nothing but a trick and I'm over it."

"If you need to-"

"I don't...anyway, I'd better get back to Zara. I'll see you later?"

"Yes, hopefully early. I love you" he said as he caressed her belly. "And I love you both!" He then kissed her belly and then her lips.

"We love you too.

"You know, your birthday's coming up next month…"

"Happens every year…" she smiled.

"Ha ha!"

"I know. I'm a riot, right?"

"You are, you gorgeous woman," he said and kissed her. "but seriously…" he continued but instead of talking about her birthday, he put on his scarf and picked up his coffee mug while she waited.

"...seriously?"

"Yes. Your birthday." He said and then kissed her head. "Okay, I gotta go."

"You ass!" she laughed as he walked out the door. She closed it and stood there against it for a moment with a hand on her stomach and smiling. She loved that man so much!

" _Mommy…"_ Zara called, snapping Olivia out of her thoughts.

"Yeah baby" she called back as she went to the kitchen.

* * *

Outside in his SUV, Nick had started the engine but he just sat there for a minute. He was wound up and wanted to choke his brother.

"That fucking, little..." he said out loud to himself. Every time he thought that Olivia was free from this jerk, at least for the time being, Manny came up with something new. "Surprise, motherfucker, it won't work this time!" He said as he put the car in drive.

* * *

At Barba's office...

"Mr. Barba, Mr. Sloan is outside," Barbas secretary, Michaela informed him.

"Sloan...he's here? ...thanks, Michaela. I'll take it from here," he said and sat down at his desk. A moment later, Sloan walked into his office with a cup of coffee. "Patrick," Barba said as Patrick shut the door and went over to his desk. "What are you doing here? Don't tell me Emmanuel changed his mind about the plea."

Patrick took a seat. "Against my better judgment; no. Actually, I'm here to, unfortunately, deliver something to you, and to tell you that Manny has agreed to the terms of the plea agreement and requires no stipulations."

"So, he doesn't want to see Olivia?"

"He does, but he understands why she won't want to meet with him. Anyway," he said as he opened his briefcase to remove a package. "I've been instructed to give this to you,"

"What is it?" Barba said, inspecting the package.

"It's for Detective Benson, actually. He wants you to make sure that she receives it - And you have my word, there's nothing harmful inside."

"What's in it?"

"Nice try. Just make sure that she gets it." Patrick said, then shook Barba's hand and got up, leaving the office. Barba just sat there at his desk, debating if he should open the package.

* * *

At Rikers, in the private visiting room, Nick was seated at the table when the guard walked in with Manny.

Manny looked at the table, disappointed that it wasn't the Amaro that he was expecting, but glad to see his brother all the same. The guard let Manny in, then stepped outside while Manny and Nick sat there staring at each other for a long moment.

"I guess you're what- surprised that I'm not Olivia?" Nick said.

"Actually, no, I'm not."

"Really? Cuz you seemed disappointed"

"Where is she, anyway?"

"Why?"

"Just wondering"

"Don't wonder about my wife"

"Fair enough"

Nick smiled, frustrated. "That all you got to say?"

"What do you want me to say, Nick? Just tell me-"

"You fucking piece of-"

"Shit? I deserve that"

" _You deserve that…_ ¿Qué estás tratando de tirar? Huh?"

"I'm not trying to pull anything...I'm trying to make this right," Manny said, his head and voice low, and shame-filled.

" _You_ wanna make it right? What a fucking joke!"

"It's not a joke"

"Yeah? And I suppose that comes with what, an apology?"

"Yes. And I would've preferred to give it directly to her since she's the one who got hurt in all of this…" he said as tears made their way down his face. "I had my lawyer give Barba the tape of us, this morning… Barba's gonna give it to her with a letter… I realize now what I did and all I can say is I'm sorry."

"After all you put her through- do you have any idea? You almost killed her!"

But Manny just kept his head down as tears swept his face. "No matter what I say, you won't believe me, and I can't blame you. And I know that I've burned what love you had for me, so I won't even try, but I'm done. And I'm sorry." he wiped his face. "Tell Olivia I'm sorry." he got up and went to the door for the guard.

* * *

Amanda woke up that morning and she knew what she had to do. And as if on autopilot, she got up, put on her boots and coat and drove to Coney Island beach.

For the longest time, she sat there in the sand and watched the waves. Just blankly, no real sense of feeling anything, not even the cold as it whipped fiercely around her. She simply sat there in the freezing sand, with memories taunting her; memories that she couldn't get past. Memories that she was tired of trying to let go of.

She was a mess. When she woke up this morning. Again, she hadn't bothered to shower or change clothes. She simply threw on her boots and coat and walked out of her apartment. And now, she sat on the beach in tears.

"I'm sorry!" She cried out. Who exactly she was making this apology to was unclear. It could have been to her mom or to Olivia. Maybe it was to the child she held inside her, or maybe it was to God as she began to strip herself of her coat and boots, and suddenly there she was, on the beach in nothing but her thin pajamas and bare feet. She removed something from the pocket of her pajama bottoms and placed it down beside her coat, wrapping the coat closed around it.

She took one final look around and nodding her head as if in a conversation with herself, she stood up and began walking towards the water. When she got there, the freezing sea didn't phase her as it began lapping at her feet and she kept walking. It was as if some divine mission were guiding her and she didn't stop, not even when the water had hit her knees or when it hit her waist. She kept going until just her head was barely poking out of the water and she closed her eyes and went under. Her last thought being that with the current undertow, it wouldn't take long before she too, would be a memory.

* * *

 **Tbc...**


	57. Making it Right

**Chapter 57 picks up where we left off. Enjoy.**

* * *

Nick's precinct

Work became one big, long, boring day. Homicides had apparently dropped on this Saturday, and so there were no cases in Nick's jurisdiction. That left him with nothing to do but go over old case files, take calls that didn't belong to his department, play catch at their desks with the guys, and think.

Keith could tell when Nick came in, that something was on his mind but didn't want to appear that he was being nosy, so he didn't ask. Besides, he hoped that if it was anything serious, Amaro would talk to him about it. He'd liked to think that over the last two years, he and his partner had grown a pretty close bond. So when he asked Nick if everything was alright, and Nick told him that all was well, he'd taken his partner's word for it and let it go. But now as he looked over at Nick…

Thinking about Manny was all he seemed to do since he'd come from the prison, just like now. He didn't want to but somehow that conversation he'd had with Manny...

 _"...I know that I've burned what love you had for me, so I won't even try, but I'm done. And I'm sorry…Tell Olivia I'm sorry."_

 _What is he up to?_ Nick asked himself. He hadn't told Olivia about it yet because he thought he should do that at home if he did it at all. They were doing so good now, better than they had in a while and he didn't want to rock the boat but he just couldn't get the way his brother looked out of his head. It wasn't anything physical. It was from inside. Nick looked into his eyes and he saw something that he hadn't seen since Manny was 5 years old - he was absolutely broken inside!

Nick, however, didn't know if he should believe what he saw. Manny had proven to him on many occasions over these last few months that he could turn his emotions off and on like a switch. A switch, and yet…. _I'm not letting him do this to me._ Especially when he had a lot more he needed to think about. He looked at the time on his watch to check it with the time on his cell phone. 3:15 _._ Why was this day dragging on?He thought as he leaned back in his chair with his hands on his face and sighed loudly.

"Hey, why don't we go and get some air? Let's take a walk," Keith said as he came and sat on the edge of Nick's desk.

"Nah, I'm good. And besides, the snow's started."

"So what?" but Nick just looked at him. "Alright, how about we go and have a beer then?"

"I know what you're doing, and I appreciate it, but I'm alright. How about I take a rain check on that beer?"

"Imma hold you to it!"

* * *

Olivia peeked into Zara's room as she made her way down the hall, and was surprised that she didn't see her still sleeping. Figuring she must be with Nick, she kept going down the hall until she got to the stairs and made her way down, hearing the voices of her husband and daughter as she went.

"...but daddy, I don't want to!" Zara whined there in the living room. She was obviously upset with Nick about something.

"Baby, we'll talk about it later," Nick said, hoping to put off whatever they were discussing, when suddenly, Olivia appeared.

"Hey, peanut. Why the long face?" She said to Zara as she cupped the child's chin.

Zara looked up at her and was about to speak when Nick interrupted.

"Zara, asegúrese de tener todo lo que necesita"

But Zara looked at Olivia, and then to Nick. "Papi, yo no …" She said with tears in her eyes.

"Zara, do as I say. Go." Nick said softly, but leaving no room for Zara to argue and she turned to tears and went upstairs. The moment she was gone, Olivia immediately jumped to her defense.

"Why did you tell her to make sure she has everything? For what?" But he didn't answer. Instead, he just looked away. "Nick, why did you-"

"Because I tried, Olivia."

"Tried what?"

"To forgive you. To let this go. To be a better person; a better man…"

"Nick-"

"I can't do it." He said to her. "I tried! I wanted to be better, and I thought I could, but I can't stop seeing him all over you!"

"Wh-what are you saying?" _Was he really standing here, telling her that it was over? That they were over?_ "Nick please..."

"I can't do this anymore! I'm taking Zara, and we're leaving."

This was all unreal to her as she leaned against the wall for support, and held her bump. "You can't take her, she's my baby!" She said through tears.

"She's my baby!" He said as Zara came back, and NIck snatched her up as she reached for Olivia.

"Nick...please don't!" Olivia cried while fighting him to get to Zara.

"Mommy!"

"Zara, honey!" Olivia cried as she grabbed Zara's arm, but Nick quickly pushed her away.

"I don't wanna go!" Zara screamed as Olivia continued reaching for her. It was an all-out struggle as Nick tried to keep Olivia away while holding Zara in his arms, who was sobbing at being torn from her mother as they left the house.

"Let… GO!" Nick yelled angrily as he gave Olivia a final push and she fell to the floor. He looked down at her before he walked out and slammed the door.

"Nick please!" She cried as she struggled to get up. "What about us? What about our twins?!"

Suddenly, she startled awake and sat up, looking around the room. She was at home in her own bed with Zara asleep beside her. It quickly came back to her that when they got home, they hadn't even changed out of their clothes, they made a few snacks and climbed into bed to read Zara's new books and watch tv.

She sat there a few seconds to steady her breathing before she eased out of bed so she didn't wake Zara, then adjusted the covers over her and kissed her cheek, shutting off the tv. She then grabbed her phone from the nightstand and left the room, quietly closing the door, and out in the hall, stood against the wall to call Nick.

"Liv…"

"Hey"

"Hey, babe...everything alright?"

"Everything's fine. You busy?"

"No, not at all, what's up?" He asked as he sat on the desk.

"It's silly," She said, wiping her eyes when a few tears escaped.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" but instead, Olivia got quiet. "...babe?" he asked as he went into the nearest interrogation room for privacy.

"Tell me the truth; are you holding on to feelings of leaving?"

"Leaving? Where'd that come from?"

"I told you it was silly," she said and sniffed back tears. "Zee and I fell asleep watching a movie and I had this dream...you took her and you left me; It just felt so real."

"Liv, baby, it was only a dream."

"That didn't answer my question; are you?"

"Mami, it was a dream, baby. Do you think I would have moved us, or be going to marriage counseling if I were thinking of abandoning you, or our babies, or taking Zara away from you? No, I'm not holding onto any feelings that I want to leave."

"Promise?" She asked, catching them both off guard and Nick couldn't help but break into laughter.

"Okay, what have you done with my wife?"

"Don't tease me, God, these hormones are powerful shit!" she sighed as she wiped her eyes. and let out a little laugh.

"I'm gonna miss that belly when it's gone, but I gotta say, your mood swings, I'll gladly say goodbye to those."

With her tears suddenly disappeared, she took on an immediate happier tone. "So, you don't like me calling you to cry in the middle of the day?" she kidded.

"Not so much, no. But, I love you so it's okay."

She laughed just as the doorbell rang. "I'd better get that before it wakes Zee"

"I'll see you soon. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm good. Oh, before I go, could you bring home Indian for dinner? I'm craving chicken…

"...tikka masala. Will do."

"Get home safe. I love you," she said and ended the call, smiling as she made her way downstairs and got to the door just as the bell rang again. "Alright, alright..." she said to whoever was outside and looked through the peephole to see that it was Barba.

"Wasn't Christmas last month?" He said as Olivia opened the door and he walked in to see the Christmas tree off by the fireplace in the living room.

"Five-year-old issues." she laughed. "What are you doing here?"

"Tracking you down. Why haven't you answered my calls?"

"I've been busy"

"All day?" He asked as he handed her a padded envelope.

"What's this?"

"I don't know, it's from Emmanuel."

"Emman- how could you bring this here?"

"In my defense, if you had answered your phone…"

"Really? You're gonna put this on me?"

"Olivia…" But she had already turned and headed towards the kitchen. Barba stood there in the hall for a moment before he followed, getting there to see her standing at the counter eating grapes.

"Nice kitchen…" He said, looking around the room, but she just stared at him while she chewed and he sat down at the counter, with the envelope beside him.

"Coffee?"

"Yes. Please." He said as she poured him a cup and slid it over to him while she stood on the other side of the counter. "...thanks. And will you stop looking at me like that"

"Like what?"

"...his lawyer brought the package this morning, and he was insistent that I give it to you. What did you want me to do?"

But Olivia continued to stand there, eating.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, and gets me off of the mental shit list that I can see you adding me to…" She looked at him then hung her head and smiled.

"You don't get to make me laugh!" she said as she took a bottle of juice from the refrigerator.

"Too late. Look, I'm sorry. But Olivia, it's over. You don't have to worry about a trial or a jury believing him. He took the deal and it's over. And all I've been asked to do is deliver this to you and his lawyer has assured me that there's nothing harmful in it." He looked at his watch. "I gotta go. Look, throw it out if you want but I got it to you. What you do with it is your choice." He said and took a big sip of his coffee before he got up from the chair. "thanks for the joe; I'll see myself out."

Olivia stood there, twisting the cap off her juice before she looked across the counter at the envelope sitting there on the other side. She stopped for a moment, wondering if she should look at whatever was in the envelope, and she picked it up.

"We don't need this," she said and quickly threw the envelope in the trash, then picked up her juice and walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

"You came," Manny said as he approached the table in the visiting room where his mother and his sister, Vida sat.

"Of course we came," Caesarea said and hugged him as tears dropped from her eyes. "Are you doing okay? Are they treating you right?" she asked, fawning over him as Vida stepped up and threw her arms around his neck. They stood like this, the three of them hugging before the security guard told them that they had to disengage, and they sat, Vida and Caesarea each holding one of his hands at the round shaped table.

"We're gonna get you out of here…" Vida started but was interrupted by Manny, his eyes getting teary as he spoke.

"I called Sonia and Mari, but I wanted to talk to you both, there's something; there's something I have to tell you both...mainly you, Vida."

"About what?"

"I took the plea deal,"

Caesarea put her head down as tears flooded her eyes. She was heartbroken but so happy that he had finally decided to do what's right. And she let off a relieved sigh. "¡Gracias a Dios!" she whispered in prayer as she squeezed Manny's hand.

"What do you mean? Emmanuel, why would you do that?"

"Vida…" Caesarea started, but Vida cut her off

"...no mami! Why would you do that? Pleas are for guilty people, and you're not, so…"

"I am," he said with his head down. "And it's already done."

"Then undo it! And what do you mean you are? Manny, is this about Olivia; did she do something to make you say that? Manny, she's using you!"

"Vida...this isn't Olivia's doing, it's me realizing that I can't keep going like this."

"Like what?"

"Like this...like Papi… all my life he's filled my head with the wrong things. _"¡No Dejes que te pasen!"_...he'd tell me that religiously. He'd say that _"once you let a woman, think she had power over you and taste power, she'd run all over you."_ That's what I've been taught my whole life, and I believed it...I can see now why the rest of you wanted no part of him after he left."

"That's not your fault, mijo!"

"But it is, mami. He tried to teach Nicky the same things, but the first time that Nicky saw him raise his hand to you… I let him put all of that shit in my head."

"Don't say that." Caesarea cried.

"Why not? It's the truth. I liked how it felt having women afraid of me, but then I met Olivia, and she was fearless...until she told me it was over and then I lost it!"

"Manny…" Vida interrupted

"Listen to me; That night, Nick found out about us, he and I fought in my hotel suite, and when he left, she tried to go after him. Can you imagine that? He'd just humiliated her and she still wanted to fix things" He said with tears falling. "...I'd fallen in love with her and she wanted him still and I couldn't take it. I blocked her from leaving and when that didn't work, I threw her down...I held her down, and I raped her. She begged me to stop, but I…"

"I don't want to hear anymore…" she was in tears at this point and angry. "You didn't do this!"

"Vida, stop… it's why I went to Dubai, to avoid extradition."

"If you did this... I accused Nick, I told Olivia she was a liar; I said horrible things to her and now you're telling me she was telling the truth all along?"

"Vida, Él ya ha dicho…"

"No mami!" She said angrily before she turned back to face Manny. "She said that you stalked her after the rape and that you were responsible for the coma... Emmanuel, ¿por qué no me dijiste?"

"I didn't think I did anything wrong, Vida. I loved her and she couldn't understand that she didn't care about any of it-"

"You. Raped. Her!"

"and you've gotta know how sorry I am. I've done nothing but think about this all-"

"...the thing at the hospital?" she asked but he just hung his head. "...I'm gonna be sick!"

"Vida, wait…"

"No, I...I have to go, I have to…" She cried and grabbed her coat and purse, running out and leaving Manny sitting there in tears while his mother did the same.

"You're being responsible and doing the right thing!" She cried and hugged him, in spite of the guard's previous warning.

"Mami; Zara. I almost…"

"You didn't. That's what's important, mijo. But it's not enough to tell me the truth. You have to make things right with Olivia and Nicolas."

* * *

At the 16th, Fin was sitting at his desk having just hung up the phone and he turned to Munch.

"Still nothing?" Munch asked.

"No, and this is my fourth time calling."

"Maybe she's sleeping"

"...all day?"

"Well, we have to interview a witness out in Brooklyn, we can stop by her apartment on the way if it'll make you feel any better,"

"I think I might. Come on, let's get at it before the snow gets any worse," Fin said and threw Minch the car keys as he grabbed his coat. "you drive"

...

"It's obvious she isn't home," Munch said as Fin pounded on Amanda's door later that afternoon. "Now can we please get back to the squad room?"

But before Fin could respond, an apartment door opened, and out came an old woman with white hair that was in rollers, and a housecoat.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?" She asked, coming from across the hall.

"NYPD, ma'am," Fin said as he flashed his badge. "Have you seen the woman who lives here?"

"Amanda? Oh, lovely girl. She's a cop too you know."

"Yes, ma'am. She's my partner."

"She plays cards with me almost every night." the old woman smiled. "but I haven't seen her at all this week until this morning when she left."

Munch and Fin looked at each other, then Munch turned to the woman. "Did she say where she was going?"

"No..." The old woman said as if struggling to recall. "but she was already down the hall by the time I got my door open, sorry I can't be of more help." she apologized before she went back inside her apartment.

"It's almost five thirty, why the hell isn't she answering her phone?"

"Maybe she just doesn't want to talk"

"Maybe. Might as well get back, it's really coming down out there." He took a card from his pocket and wrote a little message on the back, sticking it in her door before he and Munch headed for the stairs.

* * *

At Nick and Olivia's, she had come back downstairs after checking on Zara and made her way into the living room. The first thing she saw was the Christmas tree and she laughed. Two weeks past Christmas, and she was sure that they were the only family in the neighborhood with theirs still up.

"...it's pretty though," she said as she went over to the tree and ran her fingers over the ornaments. She looked at the one that read 'Zara's first Christmas' it was her favorite, but when she thought about the fact that they'd be adding two more this December, she smiled even bigger smile as she rubbed her belly. Before her smile disappeared and she thought about the package she'd thrown in the trash.

"He can't hurt you, Olivia. And whatever's in that envelope won't change that," she told herself as she stood in front of the tree, looking at the ornament with her, Nick, and Zara. They'd posed for it just before Christmas and right now as she stood staring at it, she got a sudden streak of boldness and marched into the kitchen.

She got inside and paused for a moment before she went to the center counter and opened the cabinet where the trash can is. There it was, the envelope she'd thrown in less than an hour ago. Taking a deep breath, she fished it out and closed the cabinet door before she went around and sat in one of the chairs on the other side and nervously opened the envelope.

She emptied out the contents on the counter and a small, thin thumb drive fell out of the envelope along with a folded letter. She picked up the thumb drive and tuned it about to look at it, wondering what was on it before she picked up the letter and began to read it.

 _The drive you're holding; it's the video of the last time we made love. I swear to you, It's the only copy, the copy I was going to use to discredit you. And I'm giving it to you with a huge apology._

She looked down at the drive in her hand. She was holding the video. _The only copy though?_ She wondered as she kept reading.

 _I know that you don't believe anything I have to say, and I don't blame you, but you need to know how incredibly sorry I am. I spent all night thinking about what I could say to you that would make you understand, but the truth is, there isn't anything I can say. I can't explain why I did what I did to you. All I do know is that I loved you, maybe too much and when you couldn't give it back I wanted to make you hurt like I was hurting..._

Feeling like she wanted to just ditch the letter and be done, Olivia got up from her seat and walked the kitchen with her hand on her back as she took a couple of deep breaths.

 _I spent so long denying it, but it's time for me to be a man and finally take responsibility for my actions..._

When the doorbell rang, she was so into the letter that she jumped, startled, and inadvertently went to the door holding the drive. When she got there, she looked out and saw Vida. Pausing for a moment, she cursed under her breath.

Ever since the day that Olivia opted to tell what Manny had done to her, Vida has been impossible. Olivia tried to keep the peace and ignore her even when her accusations toward Nick and the disrespect towards Olivia would cause Nick to lose it and he and Vida would end up fighting. It's been stressful, to say the least. And now, here was this woman at her door and Olivia just knew that if Vida dared come and attack her in her home, she wouldn't be so nice as she opened the door just wide enough to poke her head out.

"Nick's not here. And frankly, I'm not up for arguing, so…"

Vida looked at her sister-in-law through her large sunglasses while she wondered if she should just turn around and leave, but she knew she couldn't. She owed Olivia an apology and she had to give it to her. Even if Olivia didn't want to hear it. "I uh, I didn't come for Nick...I came to see you,"

"Why?" Olivia asked in a no-nonsense tone.

"Why?"

"Yes. Why? You've had nothing to say to me for months except hateful words - words that, I'll admit, I've let get to me probably more than I should have,"

"Olivia, can we talk inside, please?"

Olivia stared at her for a moment where she debated if she should just slam the door shut and be done with it. "...speak fast because I don't want you here!" she said and moved aside allowing Vida to come into the house.

When Vida stepped inside, she immediately took off her sunglasses and began to look around the house, her head turning from one side to the other as she took it all in. "The house is beautiful"

"You would've known that already if you'd bothered to show up for Christmas dinner...but you didn't come here for that" Olivia said as Vida eyed at her belly.

"You've gotten so big," Vida smiled, not knowing what else to do with the guilt that she was feeling. She put her hand out to touch Olivia's stomach but Olivia quickly put her own hand out to intercept it, stopping it before it could make contact.

"Don't…" Olivia said as she protectively put her hand on her belly.

"This is silly"

"Is it, Vida? Because since I came out of that coma and told you all that Manny was responsible…"

"Olivia…"

"...I have been a lying bitch, a slut, a manipulative whore, oh and my favorite a tainted tart…"

"Stop,"

"But aren't those the names you've called me in between accusing my husband of lying about beating and raping me?"

"I was upset! I didn't know…" Vida spoke up, in tears.

"So that excuses it?"

"What do you want me to say? I was wrong!" she cried; tears running down her face. "...wrong to accuse Nick, wrong to doubt you, and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am; Olivia, I was wrong…I was so wrong. Emmanuel told me the truth; the truth that you've been telling all along,"

Olivia was shocked speechless for a moment as she suddenly realized what the letter was about. _Is that what this is?_ She said to herself as she walked into the living room, almost on autopilot and clenched her fist tighter around the drive she was holding. "I don't...what do you…" she had to sit down. "What is this, a part of his defense?" tears filled her eyes but she didn't cry them.

"He's remorseful; I don't know and I don't care; I just, I need you to forgive me, I need for us to be like we were, I need…"

"Like we were? Do you think I care about what you need?"

"Olivia, please"

"I remember when I woke up to find out that Nick was in jail being accused of hurting me and putting me in the hospital; I knew that it was time for me to tell the world that it was Manny and tell everything he'd done to me. I'd worked up the nerve to tell your mother and, well, you know that that didn't go over so well. I was accusing her baby boy of the worst things she could imagine and she didn't want to believe it. We had a falling out; a whole month it took for her to come around but she did. She apologized and we forgave her."

"My mother-"

"...never stooped to name-calling, or to trying and make me feel less than human all because I was victimized! Do you know what it took for me to not only confess to my husband's family an affair but also that the man I carried on that affair with; their son, their brother; what he'd done to me? How he terrorized me? But all you saw fit to do was berate me."

"Please don't say that,"

Olivia got up at this point and walked the room before she came to stop in front of Vida. "You really made the holidays special. Let's see, Thanksgiving, you - what was it? Oh yeah, told your mother that you won't eat with a whore who's trying to ruin both your brother's lives. And then at Christmas; our very first one in this house; all the family showed up except you; of course that didn't stop you from sending me a card with a gift for the babies… _"Hope they don't realize what a conniving slut they have for a mother. Merry Christmas!"_

Vida stood there crying silently, thinking of all the things she'd said and done over the months and hearing them out loud, coming from Olivia made her so ashamed. Especially knowing now that she had been wrong.

"I never should've said those things to you,"

"No, you just sat back and enjoyed the frenzy you drove everybody into. You know what I think? I think that somewhere in all that anger you've directed my way over the last few months you were just showing me how you really felt about me from day one, except this time, you finally had a platform. Well, I'm over it."

"Olivia, don't do this. Zara and the babies..."

"I know that you don't think much of me, but I would never keep Zara from you. You were in her life long before I was; she loves you and I would never try to change that, but these babies," she said with her hand on her belly, "you are never getting near them. And Nick may forgive you, you're his sister and I won't be angry with him if he does, but I don't want or need your apologies."

"Olivia…"

"Please get out of my home," Olivia said as she held the door open.

Vida started to speak but when she opened her mouth and saw that Olivia was in no mood to hear her.

"I am sorry," she said before she put on her shades and walked out of the door.

As soon as she did, Olivia locked it and practically ran to the kitchen to get Manny's letter. When she got to it, she picked it up and began scanning it to get to where she left off

 _...it's time for me to be a man and finally take responsibility for my actions because the truth is, I was selfish and couldn't see how much I'd hurt you, but I do now. Olivia, I took something from you and there will never be enough words of apology to tell you how sorry I am. I raped you, and I can say that now…_

Was she reading this right? Did he actually just confess to- She started to ask herself when the doorbell rang yet again.

"You have got to be kidding me," she sighed as she got up and went to the door. "Vida, I already told you-" she said as she flung open the door with quite an attitude only to discover that it wasn't her sister-in-law on the other side; instead, it was Cragen. "Captain...come in"

"You got a minute?" He asked as he came inside, looking quite somber.

But her mind had already started going right away as she looked at the heavy snowfall outside and anxiously rubbed her stomach when she felt the babies moving around. Did Nick have an accident? Was he…?

"Liv?" Cragen called softly to her when he noticed how quickly her mood changed and that she now seemed scared as she stared out at the snow with the door open. "...Olivia?" He called again, this time putting a hand on her shoulder hoping to bring her out of it.

She blinked back tears before closing the door and turning around to face him.

"Olivia, it's not Nick,"

"It isn't?" She said with a huge sigh of relief as she put a hand on her chest to get her breathing under control and her emotions took over. She tried to keep the tears from falling but being so relieved, they started to flow anyway. "...I'm sorry! I just thought; oh god!"

"Hey, he's okay," Cragen said.

"You drove down here in this snowstorm, I thought…" she said and took a deep breath.

"Maybe you should sit down."

"I'm okay, I just…" Then she realized something: if he hadn't come to give her news about Nick, he still came by unannounced, and in this weather. There was something not right. "Who?"

"Liv…"

"Captain; who?"

With sad eyes, and an even sadder tone… "I got a phone call from Brooklyn… Liv, it's Amanda, they found her in the ocean; it's looking like she killed herself."

* * *

 **TBC... reviews are lovely and I love to be loved!**


	58. Four Days

**Chapter 58. 11,000 words, enjoy.**

* * *

.

When Cragen told Olivia about Amanda, it was a hard conversation for both of them. Cragen had to tell Amanda's best friend and mentor the sudden news of her death, a death she still couldn't believe had happened. She was in shock, and Cragen had the further task of giving her a letter that was found in Amanda's clothing pile on the beach and addressed to Olivia. It was Amanda's last; the note she took from the pocket of her pajamas, just before she walked into the ocean and took her life, and for two days, Olivia couldn't read it. To her, it was as if it were final, and it was, but to read that letter meant that it was real. But finally, the following Monday she needed to understand why, and hoping that the letter could tell her, she opened the envelope that had her name written on it in Amanda's chicken-scratch handwriting.

 _I'm sorry._

 _Know that above all else. I guess if you're reading this, it means that I couldn't talk myself out of it. I'm sorry that I had to do this but I couldn't see any other way._

 _Seven weeks... I couldn't live with an abortion, but couldn't have it either. For weeks I fought with everything in me, debating if I could, or should even tell the father but when he violently choked me, determined to end my life, determined that I meant nothing more to him than a flick of his wrists… I got pregnant by a rapist after I knew what he'd done to you._ _What would I one day tell this baby about its father when just the thought of him makes me sick to my stomach? It's just better this way, and I'm sorry that I ever doubted you. I guess when you love someone you wanna believe that they're good on some level; I stupidly believed him. I believed that he was someone that he wasn't, against what everyone said, I believed him and I feel like a fool._

 _I know I don't deserve one, but please do me this last favor; please don't tell my family about the baby; my momma would never forgive me- not that I expect her to once she finds out, but I can't lay this on her._

 _I love you, and I'm sorry._

 _Amanda_

 _..._

Manny was surprised that Olivia had come to see him. After confessing and accepting the plea bargain, he'd just assumed that the next time he saw her would be at his sentencing hearing but lo and behold. When he came into the visitor's room, the first thing he saw was that her eyes were red and puffy; she'd been crying. And although he hoped against hope that it was because she realized that she made a mistake in staying with Nick, he knew better, and knew that something else was wrong.

"You killed her." She said. Her voice barely came out above a whisper, low and flat and he wasn't sure what she was talking about.

"Olivia?"

"Please, leave him chained," she said to the guard who had started to take off his arm shackles. "You twisted her head up so bad that she killed herself and the baby"

"Baby? I don't…" and he didn't.

"Amanda. She took her own life because of you because she couldn't live with everything you'd done and been pregnant with your child."

Manny just stood there and fell silent. At that moment, he tried to feel…something. Some hurt, some anguish, some guilt at something other than the fact that he felt nothing, but he felt nothing. He turned around and looked at the guard. "Take me back to my cell, please."

Was it strange that he felt nothing at hearing this? Was it cold that he didn't react to finding out that his child was dead and that the woman he loved was standing there, telling him? Right now, he had more interest in Olivia and wanting to touch her so badly in spite of knowing that it should be the last thing he wanted, but he couldn't help it. He may have confessed and done everything he could to make it right, but he still loved her. He couldn't help it, but he didn't care about Amanda's baby. It was a terrible thing to admit, even to himself but it was true and he felt so bad that he just wanted to be alone.

Olivia was left standing there in the room even angrier now than when she had come in, seeing that he felt nothing. Maybe Casey had been right when she told her it was a wasted effort, she thought as she grabbed her coat and walked out.

* * *

 **Three weeks later...**

The weeks that passed seemed to go by in a daze. Olivia hadn't even had time to process Manny's admission before she was hit with the news about Amanda, and that pretty much eclipsed everything else. It hit her hard, hit all of them hard and just didn't feel real. Fin and Munch had been at her apartment the same exact day; just the thought that they were there when she was drowning...

Olivia had just talked to her the day before; she didn't give any indication that she was thinking about suicide unless all of them missed whatever cues she was giving. Fin, Olivia, Casey, they'd all felt equally guilty for what happened and then when Amanda's mom showed up and took her daughter's body back home to Georgia for burial. She didn't care about a police funeral or any such pomp and circumstance. She was so heartbroken at what her daughter had done in addition to being so distraught that with all the people around her, no one saw this coming. No one knew that Amanda was contemplating this; no one stopped her and she just couldn't forgive that. She quietly collected Amanda and returned home, not thinking or caring how the people in New York who loved Amanda were affected by this decision, so in the week that followed, Amanda's friends threw a memorial where they could say goodbye to her.

Now, three weeks after that day, Olivia was in Casey's office, going over her testimony for a case that was coming up and her mind just wasn't in it.

"Detective, what made you decide to enter the premises at 104 Houston Street?"

"Coincidence. I was driving home on the day in question, and I stopped to look in on a case that… Casey, I know what to say. I've been over this a hundred times, besides, it may have been a year ago, but I couldn't forget that night if I tried."

"Good. Bring that to court with you Monday." She said before she sipped her coffee and sat down. "Aren't you tired? I'm tired just watching you."

Olivia let out a long breath as she walked the room. "One of the babies is nestled against my spine and it hurts like hell when I sit for too long."

"Ouch."

"The doctor said to try different things to get it to move, but so far nothing's worked."

"Stubborn. I wonder where he gets that from?"

Olivia rolled her eyes as she smiled. "You know, most days, I'm in awe of what my body is doing, but right now I'm just over it!"

Casey started a clean piece of paper on her legal pad. "And another one in the cons department," she said while marking the paper and she and Liv smiled. "So, you in a rush?"

"Kind of, I have to stop by the precinct before I head home, why? What's up?"

"Just wondering how you're doing?"

Olivia began rubbing tiny circles on her stomach as she answered. "...a little worn out."

"But, you're good?"

"Between Zara and these little ones, I'm kinda forced to be alright every day, no matter what. Which turns out to be a really good thing...If I wasn't, you'd know. It's just with everything that's happened over the last few weeks... I keep asking myself how did we not know that she was struggling so hard; a baby?"

"I know,"

"...if I had said something-"

"If you had known,"

"But I suspected, Casey, and if I'd been a better friend-"

"If either of us had, but we can't live in the past,"

"I know that ultimately she made her own decision in the end, but this is His fault. I've wanted to go back there so many times; started to, but to what end?"

"Trust me, he only feels sorry for what he did to you, so why waste her memory on him?"

"Case, he was the father of that baby and he needs to know what he drove its mother to...it just drives me crazy! If you had seen the way he just stood there, no feelings at all…"

"Don't think about it. In four days, he'll be sentenced and you can forget about him."

"I don't think I'll ever forget about what he did to me," she said regretfully before she snapped out of it. **"**...anyway, I gotta get home, Nick's picking up his mom's empanadas and I've been craving them so badly, I wanna be there when he walks through the door with them."

Casey gave a laugh. "Spoken like a truly pregnant woman. Be safe."

"...as I can. See you Monday," she said before she grabbed her coat and left.

* * *

" _Nooo!" Olivia cried desperately as she tried to get out of his grasp. This was not happening again!_

" _Don't tell me no...I hate the word 'no'!" He seethed as he forced her on her back, there on the floor. It was quite a fight with her slapping and punching at him as she cried for help. She wasn't giving up, even as he finally wrestled her hands above her head and got in between her legs, holding his free hand over her mouth as she cried._

" _I'm gonna take my hand away, and you are gonna shut up! Do you hear me? I don't wanna hear a sound from you unless it's moaning at the feel of me, you understand?" Blinking back tears, she shook her head yes and he slowly started to move his hand away._

" _Please don't do this…" it came quietly, scared as she trembled and looked him in his eyes. But before she could finish, his hand came across her face and ended up on her neck, choking her._

" _Shut up!" He screamed, banging her head against the floor until she was unconscious but he simply looked down at her, caressing her face. "See what you make me do? I just wanna love you baby…" he said as he began kissing her neck._

He jumped from his sleep in a cold sweat, his heart racing. All he seemed to do these last few weeks was sleep. _Why am I still dreaming of her like this?_ He wondered as he struggled to catch his breath. He still couldn't get it out of his head. Maybe this was the penance he'd have to pay for everything he'd done. Maybe seeing her raped, over and over, whether real or imagined in his head was what he'd suffer forever.

His head was all over the place as of late.

He couldn't understand why he felt absolutely no remorse for the other women he'd hurt like this. He knew what he'd done and he wished that he hadn't, looking back, but personally sorry? No. Personally sorry, he only felt for one woman. And, Zara. Since the moment he had almost given it up, he knew it was wrong. He'd almost destroyed that little girls' world and that's something that hasn't sat well with him since he started this.

He still thought about Amanda. Three weeks after Olivia told him that she'd ended her life he wished he felt something for what she went through. It was his baby, and the only thing that registered with him was if she'd known when he strangled her.

 _"Goodbye, Emmanuel. I hope they throw the book at you, you sick bastard!" She said and turned to walk out the door but before she could get it open, he grabbed her by the hair from behind and wrapped his hands tightly around her neck, slamming her onto the table that was in the room._

" _You think you can just walk in here and dismiss me?" He seethed, low and angry in her ear as she fought to get him off of her, but he was too strong. "I took pity on you!"_

 _Amanda clawed at his hands, and when that didn't work, she pushed at his face, trying to scratch it as she was quickly starting to lose consciousness._

 _"Manny...please!" She cried as her voice gave out. But he had lost all sense and the only thing that mattered to him was taking her out of this life!_

That was the last thing she said to him; _please!_ She begged for her life that day and sitting here now, he could do nothing more than say he was sorry although he didn't mean it. She called him a "sick bastard." was he really? God, he wished that he could talk to Nick. Being in this prison and having time to think made him see that nobody had been there for him his whole life the way his brother had. _Why did he have to go and fall in love with Olivia?_ That, he knew now was his downfall but he couldn't help it. _She's so perfect in every way, beautiful, smart, sexy…_

"This is what got you here...what ruined your life… God!" He cried as he held his head in his hands and wept. Fifteen years. He'd be doing a fifteen-year bid come Tuesday, and he was scared, though he tried to be at peace with it. He knew that he deserved every one of those 15-years, hell, more, but it still scared him. He was just barely keeping the gangs off his back in here. How much longer would he be so lucky? Once he got sentenced, he'd be fair game. He'd be 42 years old when he got out if he survived; practically an old man. What would life be for him? _How_ would it be? By the time he got out, everything would be different, and he'd just be an old man trying to adjust.

 _Was this all worth it?_ He asked himself, knowing the answer.

He thought about the times that he was with Olivia; when she was willing. Those three times that he made love to her, exasperating every bit of energy and strength he had to satisfy her and it took a lot…

"Can't let it go, can you Manny?" He asked himself angrily when the guard suddenly came in.

"Amaro, you got a visitor, stand up."

"A visitor. Who?"

The guard blew out a deep breath before he answered. He tried to be a nice guard, but _Jesus,_ some of these guys he just wanted to smack upside the head; especially this one."Not my department. Get up."

...

When Manny got to the visitor's area, he looked around the room and was surprised when he saw Vida, sitting there waiting for him and for just a minute, he froze.

"I don't want to see her," He told the guard, and how could he? The last time she was here, he had to look at her face as he told her and Caesarea that he was guilty and it nearly destroyed him as much as it did her.

"Your call." He said as he stopped at the entrance to the gate. "you going in or no?" He asked Manny before they took another step and after thinking, Manny was unsure but he nodded to the guard anyway although he desperately wanted to go back to his cell. He was shocked when he got to the table and Vida threw her arms around him. In his shock, he just stood there for a moment but quickly put his arms around her and for a moment, it was as if everything had been right. He hadn't raped Olivia, hadn't resented Nick to the point of insanity, or lied to everyone around him, and there was no prison. For a moment, he was just a little brother in his big sisters' arms and he felt safe like he used to before Senior screwed things up.

"You know the rules, Amaro. No hugging." the guard said after a moment of allowing them their time, but it was his ass on the line and so he spoke up before they brought attention to themselves. Quickly they broke the embrace, each with tears in their eyes.

As they sat, Vida looked at her baby brother with sadness. "I wanted to stay away, but I couldn't." She said to him. "I've come to terms with the fact that this happened, though how?"

One question that seemed so simple but had a multitude of complicated answers and honestly, he didn't know where to begin.

"After all Papi put mami through; I just don't understand how you could do these things, I don't…"

"Vida, why did you come?"

"You think I'm crazy,"

"Honestly? Yes, I do."

"Honestly? I do too." she stated as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "but you're still my brother, and as much as I hate what you've done, I can't just turn my back on you."

Hearing those words made Manny put his head down as he wept silently. Vida took his hands in hers to comfort him the only way she could and they sat like that for a while.

"Is Papi coming..." He asked, hoping that Vida would say that Senior had changed his mind and decided to come but instead:

"I don't know. I doubt it, but Manny, if he does or doesn't, you can't let it get to you,"

"I tried, Vida. I tried so hard to be the man he wanted me to be."

"Manny, you can't do that. And I know that I'm probably the wrong person to be telling you this because all I kept thinking while I was away was that if Olivia hadn't slept with you then none of this would've happened, but then I realized that she wasn't the problem and neither is Papi. You've gotta come to terms with that." She said as he nodded, absently. "I know you don't pray much anymore, but talking to god never hurt. You wanna join me for a prayer? You'll feel better."

"I don't think God wants to hear from me,"

"Why don't you let Him be the judge of that?" She smiled and held out her hands, hoping he'd join her.

He didn't know. In these last few months, he and prayer weren't exactly friends. He didn't need it. Still didn't think he did, but, if now, four days before his sentencing Vida thought it would help give him some peace; maybe he should be talking to god. He thought as he slid his hands into hers and bowed his head at the table in the visitor's room.

* * *

"Hey. I thought you were headin home after you got done at Casey's office." Fin said to Olivia as she walked into the squad room. He was putting on his coat, preparing to leave as he finished up a phone call and hung the phone.

"I was, but pregnancy brain, I forgot to turn in my fives," she said as she got them from her desk drawer. Captain still in?"

"You know he never leaves," He said as Liv turned to go to the office. "You alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I just figured that you could have called me to get the paperwork from your desk and hand it in for you like you..."

"...always do." She stopped for a second and thought about it. The very thing she'd done a million times and she laughed. "Fin, I'm seriously losing what little mind I have left,"

"Won't be forever...unless, you know, it is" He smiled and she couldn't help doing the same.

"Better hope not, I'd hate to be the one with your six on this brain."

"Copy." He laughed. "aside from that, you straight?"

"I'm fine, thank you for asking. You know, I'm not the only one who suffered her loss."

"Hey, I'm doin okay, don't worry about me."

Olivia laughed. "Yes, sir."

"You should be worrying about what kind of trouble I'm gonna get your husband into tonight."

"Okay Fin, just get him back in one piece." She said as she went to Cragen's office and Fin left the squad room.

* * *

"Hey, ma," Nick greeted Caesarea as he came in from outside and shut the door. Caesarea was more than happy to see him and immediately went to smothering him with kisses.

"Mijo!"

"Sorry I can't stay…"

"No worries," she said as she led the way to the kitchen with Nick following. "How's Olivia?"

"She's fine Mami, just hungry," He laughed as he dried his freshly washed hands with paper towels then picked up an empanada from the batch on the counter and bit into it, very quickly discovering how hot it was. "Hot!" he cried as he dropped it back down on the counter, fanning his mouth.

"I just took those up," she laughed, as she turned to him and wiped his mouth.

"Now you tell me," He said and picked up his abandoned empanada, blowing before he bit into it this time.

"You've always been so anxious whenever I cook"

"That's because it's the best in the world." He said with his mouth full and kissed her cheek. She smiled big.

"I don't think your sisters ever craved my empanadas, and so often when they were pregnant..."

He knew where this was going. "Mami..."

"What? I'm just saying. Maybe she's having boys."

"Alright, ma,"

"Nicky, don't you think about it?" She said almost giddily. "I could be having my first grandson...or two boys!" She squealed. "Six grandchildren and they're all girls. Can you imagine? Don't get me wrong, I love them all dearly, but two boys!" She was elated just thinking about the possibility. Nick was too, although he wasn't as vocal, he thought of it, and often. He'd love his babies no matter what they were, but since the day Liv told him, he'd imagined having a son and then two. But he wouldn't get his hopes up, so with that, he quickly shut his mother down.

"...or two extra granddaughters that I know you'll love just as much!" He said with a kiss on his way to the fridge as Caesarea was putting the empanadas into a bowl.

"Of course. So, I wanted to tell you something," She said, just as they both heard a voice come from the front of the house.

" _Mami?"_ Vida called.

"You didn't tell me Vida was coming."

"That's because I didn't know… In the kitchen. Nick, be nice." She whispered.

But Nick just rolled his eyes when Caesarea turned away from him as Vida came into the kitchen and he got a guava juice from the fridge and turned it up.

"Hey…" she said, giving Caesarea a big kiss. "What smells so good, are those your empan-"

"They're for Olivia," Nick said as Caesarea sealed the bowl and chuckled to herself. Nick was behaving like his five-year-old self, laying claim to something and denying his sister because he knew she wanted it. Caesarea couldn't help but laugh. Vida on the other hand, got mad, just like she did when they were kids but she didn't let it show; well, she didn't let Nick see but she couldn't hide it from her mother. Instead, she smiled and asked,

"How is she?"

"Barefoot, pregnant, bruised- in fact, I can't wait till I get in the door and strip down to my wife beater tee shirt and really whup her good!"

"Nicolas, Davida!" Caesarea called. Jesus, sometimes they just took things too far.

"¿Que quieres de mi, Nicolas? I was wrong and I've apologized to you both,"

"You accused me of raping and beating my wife, and we won't even touch the vile shit you've said to her!" He said as he ate the last mouthful of his empanada and dusted his hands quite loudly in front of her.

"Will you two stop it!"

"She started it," He said with a full mouth.

"I was wrong!"

"You were too far up Manny's ass to be realistic is what you were! By the way, how is the little rapist? I know you've been to see him."

"So what if I have? I'm not going to just throw my brother away because he made a mistake."

"Mistake? Are we calling it a "mistake" now? He made a choice when he raped Olivia. Both times!"

"So I should turn my back on him, like you?"

"What, you think that I don't think about this all the time? That just because he's in jail it's easy for me?"

"Bien ustedes dos, suficiente!" Caesarea interjected when she couldn't take any more of their bickering. "Both of you, sit." Which they both did but with resistance. "I talked to your father. I told Mari already, Sonia already knows…"

"Of course she does, she still has a relationship with him…" Vida said, meaning nothing by it. Sonia was in constant contact with their father while she only called him every two weeks to see if he was alive; maybe saw him at family gatherings.

"...and yet, she's managed to not be a total bitch to my wife!" Caesarea gave him a look, and with a slight twitch of his face, he cleared his throat. He didn't pretend. He hated his father, still. The man hadn't changed, not a bit from who he was all those years ago. He'd gotten remarried to a much, much younger woman and even though the three eldest children didn't have a relationship with him, they all knew he was beating her; an old leopard didn't change - that he knew for sure. Nicolas Senior had even had children with her; a girl who was now five or six and another who wasn't even two-years-old. "How is the old man?"

"He's not coming to Manny's sentencing."

"Finally something good," Nick said. "Does Manny know? I know he was looking forward to seeing Papi Querido"

"Will you stop it?" Vida said as Nick took a sip of his juice.

"What? I haven't said anything"

"You know exactly what; you know, people can change. And for your information, no, Manny is actually glad that Daddy's not coming."

"So, am I supposed to be happy that he's glad?"

"You two, stop it!" Caesarea yelled when once again, the two of them were going off course. "...and Nicolas, he's your father."

"The father that beat the hell outta you and me, or are you forgetting that?"

"Is that what you think? That this is me forgetting?"

"I just don't understand how you can be so forgiving after all that bastard has done to you. You lost a baby because of him."

"Because living with hurt and hate- it's not healthy. I've taught you that."

"Maybe if he didn't cause so much hurt and hate..." he almost screamed but he caught himself. "...look at all he put us through; put _you_ through… I make sure every day to remember, remember the kind of man that I don't wanna be to my wife, or my kids,"

"You don't have to remember Nick. You are nothing like him. Every day I thank God because I know that I did good with you even in spite of my fears that you would turn out like him, but he's still your father. You can't change that."

"...if only, right? I'd better get these to Olivia" he suddenly said as he grabbed the storage bowl. "I love you and I'll see you Sunday if work doesn't call, we all will. Lock up." He said and kissed her head. "...and I forgive you," he said to Vida. "I have to because you're my sister and I love you. But you hurt my wife and I don't think you understand how much."

"Nicky-"

"She's not an angel in this Vida, and neither of us ever pretended that she was; I know what she's done and so does she. But you...you took things too far."

"And for the hundredth time, I'm sorry." she cried. "Please, just let me-"

"Too little, too late." He said and left the house.

* * *

Later that night at Nick and Olivia's house, in the dimly lit kitchen, Olivia was leaning forward over the island counter on her arms. She had gotten up, in pain and unable to sleep from the position one of the babies was in and decided to go downstairs so she wouldn't disturb Zara. But now, she had a mind to call Nick and make him come home. Fuck the guys! She was in a ton of discomfort and this was his problem too, after all, he'd gotten her this way she thought as she poured more hot sauce on her cold empanada and bit into it. She may have been in pain but she wouldn't let that deter her from her cold midnight snack.

"Goddamn, you!" She said, cursing Nick with a low moan as she rocked her hips side to side in a rhythmic motion while continuing to lean and eat. Suddenly, she heard his car in the garage and it wasn't long before he came in through the attached kitchen door.

"You're home earlier than I thought you'd be."

"Yeah," He said as he took off his jacket and set it down on a chair. "The game ended and Fin wanted to go out for drinks but I left that to him and Keith… ¿qué estás haciendo?" He said with a kiss to her forehead. "Don't tell me you're still in pain."

"This baby won't move and it hurts even more now...and the two of them won't stop kicking, which only makes it worse!"

"What can I do?"

"Nothing you can do. I'm just trying to take my mind off it," she said and popped another bite in her mouth while he stared at her.

"Liv, baby, how can you eat when you're hurting?"

"I'm hungry," she said as she took out another empanada before closing the lid to the bowl.

"You're hun- nevermind." He laughed while he put the bowl back in the refrigerator before he came up behind her and put his hands on her lower back. She quickly tensed up but he began to calm her with kisses on her shoulders and his words as he slowly began to massage her back.

"It won't work. I've been standing here dancing for a half hour..." but god she enjoyed feeling him behind her. "...and we've tried this already; several times."

"Maybe we'll get lucky this time." He said as he leaned forward and kissed her neck. "God you turn me on!"

"Nice try, but you're not getting any"

"Not even-"

"Nicolas, I am in too much pain right now for this. Pain, I might add that _your_ babies have put me in, which essentially means pain that _you_ have put me in and I cannot enjoy sex with this little one..."

"Maybe we can-"

"Sorry baby, but until this one moves, the shop's closed. Ooh, a little to the left… what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you haven't been yourself since you came home from your mother's house earlier."

"It's not important baby; just thinking."

"If it's important enough to have you thinking about it, then it's important," Olivia stood up, stopping the massage, and turned around to look him in the eye.

"I don't know, I'm just… lately, all these thoughts have come to my head about Manny and I'm just wondering...I'm sorry."

"Baby, at the end of the day, he's still your little brother and you still love him. You think I don't know how much all of this has hurt you?"

And she was right, even though he was so conflicted. He didn't want to still care, he wanted to hate Manny but he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't and god knows he tried hard- the man raped his wife, he almost killed his babies. But still, in the back of his mind, Nick knew that Nicolas senior's influence was at play.

"How about we go up and I run you a bath? We can get the jets going, soothe your back? I'll rub your feet while we soak…"

She sighed happily just thinking about it. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"I'll tell you later." He said and put his arm around her waist. She turned off the light as they left the kitchen and continued upstairs.

* * *

Monday came around and Nick, who was just getting home after an eventful weekend at the precinct got in the house and came into the kitchen to find Olivia standing at the counter stirring a mug of tea while eating a cream cheese and pickle-covered bagel, while Zara was sitting at the island, eating her breakfast.

"...is daddy going to be with you when the babies come?"

Olivia took a sip of her tea and placed it on the counter. "I hope so,"

"Can I be there when they're born?"

"Um…" she started just as Nick entered

"Hey baby," He said to Olivia and kissed her. "...Princess." He said to Zara and kissed her head. Chewing, she quickly turned around leaving Olivia thankful that Nick was now there to distract their daughter.

"Daddy!" Zara cried happily, so excited to see him and delivered a big hug. "Where were you last night? You were supposed to read me my story," She said while Olivia smiled at them as she took a sip of her tea. She loved to see Nick and Zara together; he was so gentle with her, so loving. Standing there, she looked over at them and couldn't wait to add to their little family.

"I know mi amor, I had to work, but, tonight I promise." He said, leaning on the counter as she fed him a bite of the egg from her plate. "Is that syrup?" he uttered while struggling to swallow.

"Uh huh," she said sweetly and smooched him on the lips. "...all done." she then announced.

"Good, how about you go upstairs and get your backpack," Olivia said as Zara came and hugged her around her middle and kissed her stomach.

"We'll finish our conversation later!" She said before running off, leaving Olivia laughing.

"Sure thing." She called to Zara as the child made her way through the living room.

"Anything I can help with?"

"Not unless you wanna explain to her how the babies will get out of my tummy when the time comes and if she can be there when they're born…"

"She asked you that?"

"She did,"

Nick stopped to think about this for a moment, and decided that he was fine staying out of it. "You know; I think you've got this covered." He said, smiling and at ease.

"Of course…" She smiled as she sipped her tea. "You should have seen it, she talked to the babies until she fell asleep last night, it was the most adorable thing…" He kissed her cheek as he put his hands on her belly from behind. "I love that you trust me so much with her."

"Of course I do; you're her mom. Now the question is: Will you still think I'm adorable when you have three babies to fawn over?"

"I'll always think you're adorable." She said and kissed him.

"Cream cheese and pickles?" He said as she ate the last bite of her bagel. He was honestly perplexed by her and Zara's choices.

"Hey, your babies. I told you, don't judge." she laughed.

"No judgments," He smiled. "How'd you sleep last night?"

"It was a little lonely without you, but, the little one finally moved from that spot it was in so I slept beautifully...well, if you discount the four times I got up to pee."

"So does that mean we can..."

"...you are impossible, you know that?"

"Sometimes… But you're good otherwise?"

"If by that you mean Amanda, baby, I'm okay. It's just such an exhausting right now with everything that's happened."

"But you're not..."

"It's been three weeks, don't worry," she said and kissed his nose. She knew that he had been worried that she had been blaming herself for what happened these past few weeks. But thankfully she had gotten past that and wanted to let him know that she was okay.

"Mommy…" Zara called as she ran toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, peanut?"

Zara arrived just in time to see Olivia kiss Nick's lips before she escaped his embrace and turned around. "Can I have an extra brownie in my lunch?"

"Sweetie, that's too much sugar"

"Please…"

"Baby...no," she smiled. "Get your things, we leave in ten minutes" But Zara stood there, sadly looking at her mother, and after a long moment of silence when Olivia didn't budge, she offered up a big smile. "Zara, I'm not giving you another brownie."

Zara immediately turned her gaze to Nick.

"Don't look at daddy."

"You heard her," Nick laughed. while Zara let off a loud, annoyed sigh and walked away.

" _When I grow up, I'm going to eat brownies all day!"_ She said to herself from the hall.

"It's so hard to stay sad or angry when I have her to keep me on my toes." Olivia mused, then began cleaning up the dishes. As she took them to the sink, she noticed that Nick was staring at her. "...what?"

"You're glowing..." he said as he caressed her face, staring into her eyes then leaned in to kiss her. "And God, you're so sexy!" his lips taking hers slowly and moving his tongue in, as his hands roamed her body, pulling at her shirt and making their way underneath.

"Baby...later, I promise," she said and kissed him, quick on the lips.

"Stay…" he said in a gruff, sexy voice that made her weak. She wanted to drop everything and do as he asked, knowing that he had a lot on his mind but she had Zara and work to think about.

"I want to, God I do, but I have to appear in court this morning,"

"But I need you!" He said as he skimmed her neck with his lips.

"Nick, baby…"

"I need my wife," he whispered. Not asking, yet not demanding. Simply suggesting that she didn't leave him right now and grinding his hard-on against her so that she knew exactly knew why. "Stay. Please, mami!"

Denise suddenly walked through the door just as Olivia was thinking what would be the quickest way to get Zara off to school and get back home before she needed to be in court. Denise had forgotten a textbook that she needed for class today but the moment she walked in the door, that solved the issue. Needless to say, once Zara was gone, there was no keeping Nick off Liv.

He backed her against the wall in the foyer, whispering dirty things in her ear as he started to undo the buttons on her blouse. He watched with intent as each one came undone, and seeing the swell of her breasts, her nipples that were literally straining against the lace of her bra were now free and standing at attention as he flung it open. He went straight to feasting on her breasts when her phone rang from her pocket.

"Baby… hold on." She whispered breathily as she removed her phone from her pocket and saw that it was Casey. But Nick didn't bother to give her space. He had waited since Thursday for this, and there was no way he was backing off for even a minute, he didn't care who was on the phone.

"Case, I-I'll be on time, I just… Mmmm!" she cried as she bit her lip. Nick had just bitten her left nipple and was now sucking the hardened tip into his mouth as he worked to undo her pants.

"Seriously Liv?" Casey laughed. "just wanted to tell you that court's been moved to Eleven." But Liv had already let the phone go lapse for a moment as Nick began kissing his way down her body and arrived at the juncture between her thighs before coming back up and kissing her mouth and neck.

" _Liv? Olivia…"_

"Unless you want Casey to hear us making love, I suggest you hang up that phone!" He said as he expertly began flicking her nipple and put his hand in her panties. It sent her over the already too-close edge she was on when his fingers hit her clit and she murmured hurriedly into the phone:

"I'll call you back!" Casey catching an _Ohhhhhh!_ as the line went dead.

"Would you look at this..." They were lying in bed after making love, and she looked down at her belly. The babies were definitely moving about, what looked like their little feet poking through her stomach then retreating again and again. She laughed. "I'm so huge, and I still have ten weeks to go."

He was touching her stomach trying to catch one of the little feet. "that's what you get with twins." He laughed when he almost caught one but it quickly disappeared. "I can't wait until these little guys are born. Babe, we're gonna have three kids around here soon."

She smiled thinking about it. "I know…"

"You know I love you,"

"Do you?" she laughed.

"I'm serious, Liv. I love you, and no matter what, I hope you always know that."

"I love you too." She said looking him in the eyes. She knew that this was about Manny and the hearing that was coming up tomorrow. They'd talked about it some this weekend and she didn't feel that he was being totally honest with her about what he was feeling, but she gave him space knowing what he must be going through having so much invested on both sides. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine baby. You know, we still have an hour before you have to go, why don't I keep you company in the shower?"

"I think I'll quit while I'm ahead; later?"

"I'll hold you to it." He said and kissed his lips before she got up and went into the bathroom.

* * *

At the courthouse later that day, Olivia and Casey were walking out the front door after their case had been presented. They were walking down the stairs when Olivia asked:

"you mind if we walk back to your office? I could use the exercise."

"No, not at all...though I would have thought that Nick gave you plenty."

"Oh god!" she laughed.

"Yeah, _oh god_. Is it always like that? I mean; still, with the pregnancy?"

"I mean we obviously have to take some considerations but not many; yet, anyway."

"God I hate you!"

"Wait, what happened to the surgeon, Marcus?"

"Oh, you mean Mr. Blessed-with-a-big-dick-and-has-no-idea-how-to-use-it? All he did was stab at my uterus and then he wouldn't even take advice! Suffice to say, I had to let him go." She said while Olivia was silent while they continued walking. "Liv?"

"I'm sorry. I was just...tomorrow is the day."

"You ready for it?"

"I wouldn't say ready; to be completely honest I wish it wasn't happening at all, but, no. Definitely not ready. It's funny that women look forward to the day when they can look their rapist in the eye as he gets sentenced and know that they've won. But I don't. I don't feel that. I just feel numb at the whole thing and I want it over." Casey squeezed her hand to comfort her.

"You're nervous?"

"I'm about a hundred different emotions," Olivia said as they turned the corner and walked the block. "Nick is in an extremely hard place because he feels sympathy for his brother but he can't show it because he feels like he's betraying me, and I want to understand, Casey, I do, but every time I think about-" She wiped the stray tears that came. "I wonder if this is where the resentment will start to come in."

"That is just crazy."

"Is it? Manny was in his life long before I came along. I just feel like it's a matter of time before Nick starts to blame me for this, Case, I invited it in."

"I heard a man, who just a few hours ago wanted nothing more than to fuck his beautiful wife. That is not a man who blames you; for anything. One thing I've learned is that Nick is as straight as they come. And Manny may be his blood, but you've got his heart. Don't start doubting that again, you've worked too hard to get these feelings under control. Are you guys still going to counseling?"

"Once a week, like clockwork."

"Good. Bring it up if you have to, but don't you dare let these thoughts get to you. Come on, let's hurry and get out of the cold."

That day as Nick sat in the pickup line waiting on Zara, he thought about the sentencing tomorrow as well as the fact that his father wouldn't be showing up and he breathed a sigh of relief. Who knew what could come out of his mouth? Senior had less of a filter than anyone Nick knew. Even if it wasn't remotely right, he said what was on his mind and Nick worried that in the end, Senior would end up verbally attacking Olivia. She was, after all, the one putting his baby boy away for fifteen years; a sentence he more than deserved, in Nick's opinion, but his father was venomous and Nick was just glad that he wouldn't have to deal with putting the man in his place.

Was Emmanuel a grown man and therefore responsible for his own choices? Absolutely. But when you spend a lifetime being taught to take what you want, whatever it may be, you grow up with a warped view of reality. Nick only wished that Manny had had the sense to keep away from their father, but Manny was just a baby, five years old. And while Manny thought he needed his dad, Nick was the opposite. He was almost 15 when the jerk left and he couldn't have been happier, but Manny- as much as Nick tried to raise him right, their asshole of a father was there to undo it all with his money and his sideways thinking. Manny took their father's word as if it were scripture. Nick remembered how it broke his heart to see Manny and Sonia go to him every weekend. The man was poison and he always wondered why his mom didn't try harder to keep her youngest away from him knowing the shit he'd put into his head.

" _¡Débiles!"_ He could hear his father say just as clearly as if he were standing there listening to him hand off his scorn. One thing Nicolas Senior hated more than anything was the appearance of being soft. And to Senior, Manny was being soft and so was Nick in his opinion. He knew what his father thought of the fact that he forgave Olivia for cheating; the old man would never have tolerated it. After he would have beaten his woman for the act he surely would have let her go. And Manny? Honestly, he would have been happier if Manny had taken the fall for raping Olivia; even if he would have gone down for it. At least he wouldn't have appeared to be a wimp. Dammit, why was he having all these feelings?

"Hey, big guy." Zara sang as she got into the backseat and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. Nick laughed quietly to himself. This kid was always coming up with something new.

"Big guy? I'm not daddy anymore?"

"Of course you're daddy," she laughed. "...but,you're my big guy!"

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Okay. I'll be the big guy! So how was school?" He asked as Zara buckled herself into her car seat.

"Good. Daddy, our classroom got a new lizard!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, she's a girl and her name is Kiko and she's a gecko lizard. And guess what else?"

"What?"

"We get to take turns feeding and caring for her in class."

"That's great, baby. You all strapped in?" He asked as he reached back and checked that she was secured properly.

"Yes. Daddy, can we go see mommy at work? I think she needs a snack for the babies,"

"Do you?"

"Yes, and maybe she can go home with us,"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Mommy!"

"Hi, peanut!" Olivia cried as she got up and swept the child into her arms.

"Hey, baby," Nick said as he and Olivia engaged in a quick kiss. "Hey guys," He said to Fin and Munch. "Zara, honey, get down. You're too heavy for mommy to-"

"You leave her be, I'm fine," Olivia said smiling as she hugged her daughter. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Are you surprised, mommy?" Zara asked as Nick went about talking to the guys.

"I sure am! You know, I've been thinking about you, all day."

"I thought about you too." And guess what? I got you something." Olivia kissed her again and put her down, seeing that Nick was partly right; her back hurt like hell just that fast!

"You did?"

"Uh huh. Ta da!" She exclaimed as she held up a small box. "It's a muffin, with chocolate chips."

"My favorite, peanut. Thank you!" she said and reached into the box to take a piece, feeding Zara a bite before she popped it in her mouth. "So what brings you guys this way?"

"Actually, it was Zara's idea. She wanted to bring you a snack for the babies and see if you were ready to go home."

"Are you?" Zara asked anxiously, wanting to get home and have her mother to herself.

"Uncle John, and uncle Fin, we got a new lizard today in class!" Zara said.

* * *

At the house later that night, Nick came into the bathroom and put his arms around Olivia as she brushed her teeth, kissing her neck.

"Again?" she thought as she smiled and spit, then rinsed her mouth and the toothbrush.

"I'm trying to not think. Amuse me"

She sighed quietly as she put the toothbrush in its place on the sink and turned around to face him. "Did you forget how unrelenting you were this morning?" She said and kissed him.

"and I still have a lot of pent-up energy..."

"How about we talk?" she said as she turned off the light in the bathroom and walked past him into the bedroom to get the tube of cream from her nightstand and sat down on the bed. Nick sat beside her and sunk his head into his hands, running them down his face. Olivia, who was rubbing cream on her stomach quickly closed the tube and took a deep breath. She was going to settle this.

"Do you blame me?"

He raised his head and the look on his face told her her answer as he gave an unequivocal _No._ "For what?"

"All of this."

"Baby, this isn't about you or us." He said as he pulled her on his lap and she put her arms around him. "I guess it's more of me thinking about… Hell, I don't even know what this is about. Maybe it's that his sentencing is tomorrow that's got me feeling this way. I haven't been anxious about tomorrow until now. Now it seems like I just keep thinking about it."

"You're wound up."

"You're not?"

"I'm just good at maintaining it better."

"If I could be like you…" He lay his head against her chest. "This could never be about you. I'm not forgetting for one minute what he did to you and to these babies...I can't forgive that and just thinking about the sentencing tomorrow. It'll finally be over and you can start putting it behind you."

" _We_ can." She said as she looked at him.

"I've been hurt in all this, but I'm so grateful every day that I didn't lose you, and I came so close." When he thinks about how she went through the horror of being raped and terrified when Manny's affection turned to anger… "it puts a whole lot in perspective when you think for one minute you're gonna lose the most important thing in your life."

Hearing him say that made her cry, and he reached to wipe her tears. "You are you know?" He said as he drew in slowly and kissed her. Her hands went to the nape of his neck while they kissed, their tongues dancing intricately in each other's mouths. _God, she loved him!_ she thought as she threw him on this back and straddled his waist. She smiled before she leaned forward and kissed him further while grinding against him. Just assuring her that he was on her side, she didn't know why, but that made her so hot!

"These need to come off!" She said of his sweatpants and grabbed the waistband, starting to pull them down when Zara twisted the doorknob and came in, holding her unicorn.

"Mommy, I heard a noise in my room…" she looked at Nick lying beneath Olivia, and both turned their heads to the door, now looking at her with wide eyes. "what are you guys doing?"

"Um…we, we were playing," Nick said, wondering how they would finesse this. Olivia was already insanely wet and had, he was sure, left a spot on his pants. _God, if you'll just let her go back to her room and forget about this, I'll be in church bright and early come Sunday!_ He prayed while Zara looked at them both, going slowly from Olivia to Nick and back.

"...so you said you heard a noise?" Olivia said as she pushed her hair away from her face.

"Can I sleep in here?" Zara asked. Nick and Olivia looked at each other, then at Zara, Nick silently and happily thinking that he'd gotten out of church and laughing silently while Olivia playfully rolled her eyes at him.

Maybe in the future, he could remember to lock the door!

* * *

The next morning, things were in a bit of a frenzy as the family struggled to get ready for court and get Zara ready for school at the same time. While Nick was in the kitchen with Zara, Olivia came downstairs in all black except her soft pink blouse and carrying a tie for Nick.

"Wow," he said upon seeing her when she turned the corner and entered the living room/kitchen area. In addition to looking incredibly hot in her form-fitting suit with black suede stiletto booties, she had her hair pinned up, and Nick was mesmerized looking at her neck.

"You look beautiful, mommy." Zara smiled.

"Thank you, baby," Olivia said as she was tying Nick's tie on his neck. "You look pretty hot too" she whispered to him as she smiled.

"Thanks, babe," Nick said as she finished with his tie. "Here, it's orange tea. Do you want anything for breakfast? I could whip something up,"

"Thanks," she took a sip of the tea. "Could we grab something on the way? I don't wanna be late," she said and turned to Zara. "Got all your stuff?"

"Uh huh. Mommy, can I have a lizard?"

"A lizard?"

"Like Kiko"

"Baby, that might not be safe while I'm pregnant. I'm sorry but the answer is no, for now," she said and kissed Zara's head. "But, how about we do some research on them so that in the future you know a ton about them if you get one?"

Zara perked up at this idea and gave a happy "Yeah."

"We ready?" Nick asked.

"I am," Zara said and jumped down from her seat at the counter, running to get her coat. Olivia watched her until she disappeared then turned to Nick.

"It's gonna be okay,"

"I should be telling you that."

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry, for all of this"

"Liv, honey, you didn't do this"

"I caused it… And no matter what anyone says, I know this. It's not an excuse for him to have done what he did, but if I hadn't given him the okay, to begin with… I'm sorry that you have to go through this. That's all. I'm gonna go help Zee; I'll see you in the car." She said and kissed him before she left.

* * *

They arrived at the courthouse and had gotten off the elevator to see Caesarea standing outside the courtroom.

"Hey," Nick said as he kissed his mom. "You made it. Where"s Vida? I was sure she'd be here."

"Not that I wanted to, but I figured I'd come for support and Davida couldn't come; it was too much for her. Olivia, you look good. How're my grandbabies?" Caesarea said as she hugged Olivia and began rubbing her belly. She laughed at feeling them wide awake.

"Active." Olivia laughed then took on a more serious tone. "Caesarea, I just want to say that I'm sorry-"

"You listen to me. This is not your doing. It's Emmanuel. And I know that I was angry when I first found out, but that was just shock more than anything. I love my son, but please don't blame yourself for his problems."

"We'd better get inside," Nick said just as Olivia saw Barba step off the elevator.

"You two go ahead, I'll be in in a minute."

"Hey" Barba greeted her. Look at you, you look like you're about to bust!" He joked and rubbed her belly and one of the twins kicked his hand. "Jesus!" He said, pleasantly shocked as he pulled his hand away.

"Another 10 weeks," She said laughing as she rubbed her belly.

"Does that feel weird to you?"

"What, little beings moving inside me? No, not weird at all." She joked.

"You nervous?"

"Surprisingly, no."

"Good, Emmanuel confesses, admits his sorrow and the judge gives him his sentence. It shouldn't take longer than 15 minutes and we're done."

"Seems so simple; all he's put me through and justice gets him that fast."

"She's beautiful when she works. Come on, they're gonna start soon." And they both went into the courtroom.

As Manny was escorted from the holding cell to the courtroom, his nerves got him for a moment and he stopped, leaning on the wall and tried not to cry, though he was losing the battle.

"You good?" The guard asked

"Could I have just a moment?" He asked as he wiped the few stray tears that had come from this eyes and was grateful that the guard allowed him to get himself together before marching him into the courtroom.

 _15 years!_ He kept saying in his head. _15 years!_ He couldn't help but think how glad he was that Senior wasn't here. Manny hadn't called him in weeks, ever since he confessed his guilt, and he was glad that he didn't appear to be interested in coming to his sentencing. He couldn't face him any more than he thought he could face Olivia today.

They took seats on opposite sides of the court just as the guard brought Manny in the side door. He looked around the courtroom, happy to see his mom sitting there, then locked eyes with Nick and Olivia.

Olivia was resolved to show strength and squeezed Nick's hand as she looked straight at him as he was seated on the defendant's side of the court. Nick looked at him before he turned to Caesarea to see her shedding tears as she quickly rose to hug Manny before she sat and the judge entered.

"All rise!" The bailiff announced.

"...she tried to fight me off but I was too strong and I overpowered her," He was looking directly at Olivia as he spoke. She looked down for a moment as tears filled her eyes but she wouldn't dare cry them. Instead, she focused on her babies who were kicking avidly, and her husband who sat beside her holding her hand and giving her his love and strength, even as angry as he was at hearing his brothers confession.

"I held her down on the bed, I taunted and I raped her. First vaginally, and then anally. The more she...the more she cried for me to stop, the angrier I got and the worse _it_ got; the more she cried for my brother the angrier I got and I was determined that she would suffer for the pain that I was feeling."

"You fucking bastard!" Nick jumped up and cried when he couldn't take hearing anymore. He'd known what Manny had done, but to hear it from his lips; he wanted to kill him. He would kill him!

"Nick, I'm so sorry…"Manny apologized.

"Order in my courtroom!" the judge said as banged his gavel, but Nick was beyond it at this point and rushed the defendants' table to grab him.

"Nick, don't!" Olivia cried the bailiff caught him before he reached his target.

"Order!" The judge shouted to deaf ears. Nick was enraged and was determined to get Manny.

"I will kill you, you son of a bitch!" He continued to scream. All of the sympathy he had been building for him suddenly disappeared. At that moment, Nick's only goal was to grab his brother and choke the life out of him!

"...short 10-minute recess and get Officer Amaro under control!" Judge Kellerman said angrily and banged the gavel a final time before he got up to leave.

After Nick had been thrown from the courtroom, Olivia rushed out the doors and over to him. "Mami, go back inside, I'll be fine!"

"I'm not leaving you like this,"

"Liv, please!" He cried as hot tears streamed his face. He paced a small area of the corridor trying to calm his anger, but it wasn't working much as Olivia watched him, her heart in shambles at the pain she felt she caused him and she wanted to speak, but what could she say?

"Let's just go home,"

"No, you need to be here for this, you…"

"I don't need to be here. With or without me, he gets sentenced and frankly, I can't sit through any more of him recounting what he did to me than you can" she said as Caesarea came out of the courtroom.

"Nick… Are you two alright… Liv?" She said as she put her hand on Olivia's belly.

"I'm fine, Caesarea. We were just leaving,"

"No we're-" Nick started but Olivia quickly cut him off.

"Yes, we were. Nicolas, I'm not gonna stay here, neither of us should. Please, let's just go."

"Liv, baby…" He said, hesitating.

"You don't need to hear him go over all the shit he did to me."

"Until I hear the judge give that bastard his sentence, I'm staying,"

"Baby-"

"Olivia, me quedo, ahora déjalo!" He shouted angrily.

"Nicolas…" Caesarea was shocked to hear him raise his voice to Olivia. But Olivia was over it and gave him a final glare before she turned and left, taking the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. She had tears in her eyes that she tried hard not to cry but they made their way down her face as she hurried down the stairs.

Nick stood watching her go but instead of going after her, he turned to his mother.

"Don't….just don't!" He said. Caesarea shook her head at him before she went down the stairs after Olivia, and Nick turned to go back into the courtroom.

* * *

She had been at home for an hour now, checking her phone to see if she'd somehow missed a call but there was nothing. Not really having her mind on it, she turned back to the baby store she was going over online and continued to mindlessly click through the countless sleeper sets that were featured when she heard the front door open. Her first instinct was to hurry to the door and throw her arms around him, but she was still quite angry with him and instead, she stayed seated on the couch with her feet up and the computer on her lap and she just ignored him as he finally came through the archway into the living room.

He stood there in the archway for a moment and watched her as she pretended to not see him. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke.

"Liv"

"So, you can talk without yelling,"

"Baby, I'm sorry. But you need to listen to me."

"Actually, I don't, so…"

"Olivia…" He said as he came across the room but she had closed her laptop and was already getting up to leave. "Liv, please,"

"Was it worth hearing about it directly from pervert's mouth?"

But when Nick looked at her with tears in his eyes and worry stretched across his face, she knew that something wasn't right.

"Baby…"

"What's wrong?"

He took a moment, debating how he would tell her and decided that there was no easy way.

"Nick?"

"Liv, the judge let him go."

* * *

And in Miami at the home of Nicolas Amaro Senior, it was a beautiful cloudless day as his young wife was in the massive swimming pool with their youngest, teaching her to swim, while Nicolas sat back on one of the lounge chairs on his phone.

"Did you handle it?"

"You son of a bitch! As if I had a choice in the matter!" Judge Kellerman said regretfully.

"You did, you could have said no-"

"And lost my marriage? My career?"

"Think about it as both of us getting something we wanted; I got my son back for something he shouldn't have been locked up for in the first place. And you, you get to breathe, knowing that your secret will stay safe and you get to continue putting dangerous criminals away,"

"Like your rapist son?"

"Watch it, my friend."

"You're the devil, Amaro and I hope you burn in hell for this!"

"It's nice doing business with you too. Next time I'm in New York, we'll get together to play golf." Nicolas said before he hung up and the baby came running to him straight from the pool.

"Daddy, daddy!" She squealed happily as she ran into his arms.

"Lira. Guess what?" He said to the two-year-old who was busy trying to turn on his phone. "Your brother is coming to say with us, isn't that great?"

* * *

 **Tbc… Be back (I'd like to say soon) with more. I'd love a review.**


	59. Dealing With It

**Chapter 59**

* * *

.

She felt like there was suddenly not enough air in the room and she put her hands on her belly, feeling the babies moving about through the silk of her blouse.

 _You're okay, Olivia. Just breathe!_ She told herself over and over while fighting the tears that were stinging her eyes. Nick explained this to her when out of sheer frustration, she'd turned to him with only a _"how"_ when he'd told her that Manny had been let go. But now, standing here, none of it made sense to her. _How could the judge just decide that he'd done his penance? That he'd learned his lesson in barely three months and was sorry? That son of a bitch raped me!_ She said to herself, growing angrier by the second.

"Baby…"

"I'm fine." She said, her voice low and shaky.

 _This isn't happening!_

"Liv, Mami…'

"I said I'm fine!" She reiterated louder and headed for the stairs while Nick called to her, but as if she didn't hear him, she kept going.

"Baby, we can talk about-"

She stopped and turned around on the stairs, going back down. "Just stop!"

"Stop what?"

"Trying to make this alright because it's not," she cried as she stood in front of him, finally releasing the tears in her eyes as they rolled down her cheeks. "He raped me, but according to the law, _he's_ been punished enough?"

"I'm sorry, and I know this isn't fair-"

"This is beyond not fair!" She screamed. "I lied to you and I betrayed us. I betrayed the vows we took and I almost ripped our family apart in the process. But he...what he did to me; the joy on his face while he did it….he deserved to see be locked away but he's free. Tell me, how is that justice?"

"Baby, I know," Nick said as he held her in his arms. He was torn apart at seeing her this way, having gone through a million emotions himself when the judge announced that Manny was free to go. But even with all of his anger, he couldn't begin to imagine what Olivia was feeling right now. He's dealt with Manny's shit, but it happened _to_ her. She was the victim in this. And no matter what she did, or how she may have felt she invited it; she didn't deserve this.

"I'm gonna go for a drive," She said wiping her tears as she pulled away.

"I could go with-"

"No. I just need some time."

"Liv…"

"I just need to breathe right now," She said as she grabbed her coat and purse. "...alone."

* * *

At Caesarea's house, she and Manny had just come through the door.

"I still can't believe I'm out of that place! ¡Dios es muy bueno!" He said with his hands pointed in supplication.

"Eso, él es," Caesarea said as she hugged her youngest son and kissed him. She was feeling so weighed down right now, especially seeing how Nick reacted to Manny's release and how she knew Olivia was reacting; it broke her heart to even think about it. Yet still, her son was home and though she was still shocked that it happened, she was overjoyed.

"So, Manny, what are you gonna do with yourself now that you're out?"

"To be honest; I don't know. I had planned on doing a hard fifteen and then this happened. I still can't believe it."

"Well, I know that you'll be heading home to Miami eventually…"

"My apartment is there,"

"I know, I know. But, for however short a time that I have you, I'm so happy, Mijo!" she said and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "How about I make all your favorites for dinner?"

"Oh my God, I have missed your cooking!"

"Then it's settled. I'm gonna go to the store for a few things and get started."

"and I'm gonna take the longest, soapiest shower. I'm going to scrub every last inch of me from head to toe and then I'm going to do it again… Mami, thank you!" He said and hugged her again. "I know that I disappointed you, but I'm gonna try to win back your trust."

Caesarea cupped his face and looked him in his eyes. "I'll be back soon." She said and left.

He made it to his bedroom where he emptied his pockets onto the dresser and began undressing, letting his clothes hit the floor. He was down to his underwear when suddenly his phone rang and he jumped, startled by the noise in the quiet of the house. When he picked it up to see that it was his father, he froze, taking a breath before he slowly brought it to his ear to answer.

"Papi; It's been so long."

"Too long. How are you son?"

"I'm good now; still in shock…"

"I just spoke to Sonia; you're really free?" He feigned his ignorance in the matter while he privately gloated.

"I don't know how, but- Papi, I thought; I thought you were mad at me; I thought I'd go away without ever talking to you again,"

"My son was going to prison for fifteen years. I didn't know how to deal with that. But now, you're free, everything's been set right."

Bt Manny's thoughts immediately went to Olivia and imagining her face when Nick delivered the news of his release. "No, not everything…"

"Parece que todavía estás atrapado en ser un marica. Manny, it's over. You don't have to say this anymore; do this anymore. That woman that your brother is stupidly throwing his life away for. Primero, esa puta y ahora la puta!"

"I don't wanna talk about this,"

"Fine, we'll talk about it when I come tomorrow."

"Wait; here? ...you're coming to New York? Tomorrow? That's um…" He wasn't sure just how he felt about that and he made an attempt to tell Nicolas just that. "Papi, you don't-"

But Nicolas cut him off again. "I have a meeting that I have to get to right now, but I'll see you tomorrow. I love you!" and he hung up. Manny just stood there for a moment, staring at the phone before he put it down. His father wasn't angry with him! He wasn't disappointed in him, in fact, it was just the opposite. His father loved him, but why did his love have to come with so much baggage, h thought as he put his phone down and headed for the bathroom. He'd think about his father later, right now, he had a date with the shower to wash off the stench of Rikers Island.

* * *

At the cemetery, Olivia stood at her mother's grave, blankly staring at the tombstone. She'd been like this for some time, not speaking, just standing there. Now, however, she was starting to feel it in her back and she used the stone to kneel in front of the grave.

"Hi, Mom." She said as she placed a large bouquet of red English roses, her mother's favorite, on the grave. "I know that I haven't been here in awhile. I could say that I've been busy but…" Tears dropped from her eyes. "I didn't know where else to go; today was just… Mom, a few months ago I was raped and today I thought he'd be sentenced but instead, he got off. The bastard raped me and he got off and I'm just...God, I don't blame you for picking up a bottle to try and drink it away because if it weren't for these babies..." She said rubbing her stomach. "They'll be here soon and I'm a mess. I know that I shouldn't complain because your cross was so much heavier but I'm not as strong as you were. Today when I found out that he'd been set free, I felt so angry! He gets to live his life and I get to think about how he violated me. I get to think about everything he did to me and how the law just let him get away with it. It's easier because I have Nick there to remind me that he won't ever touch me again, but I still feel him sometimes; I still hear the hate in his voice while he raped and assaulted me and sometimes, no matter how much I try to push it out of my mind, sometimes I just can't. And now that he's been set free… Mom, how can I have faith in a system that lets this happen? How can I continue to tell women that the law will get justice for them when the truth is, it won't? I just wish that you were here right now because I don't know what to do and as much as I love Nick, as wonderful as he is, he doesn't understand." She cried.

"I shouldn't be sitting here crying to my mother because a judge let my rapist go; I should be here telling you about happier things…" The babies began kicking wildly and she put her hands on her belly again, rubbing to calm them. She put her head down and suddenly her tears began to drop faster, but for a different reason. "You know, I still remember that one time about a year before you died; we were having dinner and you'd gotten pretty drunk but you weren't angry; in fact, as I put you to bed you were babbling on really sweet and you told me that your biggest regret was that you couldn't forget what happened to you so that maybe you could've fallen in love and gotten married; maybe given me a brother or sister so I wouldn't be alone. And then you held my hand and you made me promise you that one day I would give you grandchildren- lots of them. I never told you, but I only promised then because you were squeezing my hand really tightly," a small laugh escaped as she wiped her tears. "...but, I just realized _one day_ is today! I don't know about lots of them, but three is a pretty great number." She said as she patted her belly. "Soon there's going to be a small group of them. I just wish that they could have gotten to know you because they would've loved you…"

* * *

After finishing with his shower, Manny threw on some sweats and headed downstairs where he took a look around the living room. His eyes settled on the shelves to the far wall where the family pictures took up almost every bit of the massive space and settled on Nick and Olivia's wedding picture. He walked over and stared at it before picking it up and running his hand over the image of Olivia in her tight, white dress that was off the shoulders. He remembered that it had a split that showed of those gorgeous legs, and was damn near reaching her pussy. God, the weeks leading up to the wedding when he'd been inside her. She wanted him so bad by the time he got in the shower with her that first time, she was already a sopping wet mess by the time he finger-

"Don't," he warned himself of such memories as he put the picture back in its place. "...just don't, Manny.

In the kitchen, Caesarea was busy cooking while she was on the phone talking to Vida.

"...he doesn't want to see anyone today, he's been through a lot and I think he just wants to let it all sink in."

"I get it. I'm just so anxious to see him. Will you tell him to call me when he's ready to talk?"

"I will. Kiss my grandbabies for me." Caesarea said before he hung up. She looked at the phone before she put it down on the counter as Manny came into the kitchen.

"It smells like heaven in here!" He said as he came toward her with a hug and kiss. "...need me to help with anything?"

"Nope. Vida wants you to call her,"

"When doesn't she?" Manny said as he left her and went to the fridge to get a green juice. But Caesarea noticed his lackluster mood and called to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I mean…" He thought about telling her about his apprehensions over his father suddenly announcing that he would be in New York City tomorrow, but decided against it. "I'm gonna go for a walk,"

"With the news cameras lurking?" She asked, just as the doorbell rang. "Be right back," and she went to answer the door, surprised to see Nick on the other side.

"Hey," he said as he came in and kissed her on the cheek, and looking around.

"Is Olivia okay?"

"No. No, she's not actually. Her rapist was released today, so…"

"Nicolas,"

"I'm sorry… I know that you're trying to be a good mom and stay neutral, but it doesn't change the fact that he brutalized my wife; she almost died because of him,"

"I know this, and believe me when I say how sorry I am,"

"Mami, do yourself a favor and send that little shit to a hotel, is not like he can't afford it. Speaking of, where is he? Out prowling already?"

Manny suddenly appeared from the kitchen. "I'm right here, and no, I'm not out "prowling" as you put it."

Caesarea looked at both her sons while Nick was looking hatefully at Manny. He didn't bother turning around when he addressed Caesarea with a look of pure seriousness on his face. "Déjanos."

"Nicolas-"

"Mami, ahora, por favor."

She didn't kid herself on the situation between her sons, it was a terrible one. So terrible that she didn't know if she _should_ leave them alone but she took a chance and prayed that they wouldn't kill each other as she walked out of the room, silently praying.

"You got rid of mami, now what, you gonna hit me?"

"Why? You think that's all I'm good for?" Nick said as he walked deeper into the living room so that he was closer to Manny. "I don't know how or Nicolas got to that judge-"

"What, you think I bribed a fucking judge? Nick, man, you're reaching.

"How else do you explain it?"

"Luck? Who knows? All I do know is that I'm out, and I wish to god that my only brother could be happy for me…"

"Happy?"

"That came out wrong...Nick, I know that things have happened-"

"..." happened"? Like you almost killing the woman I love; and our babies?! Like you raping her and as if it wasn't enough, sneaking into the hospital to do it again while she was in a coma from you almost killing her? You got big balls, I'll give you that!"

"That's not what I meant… Fio-" Manny said softly, calling Nick by the childhood name he'd given him when he was two and unable to say, _Fiorello_. But Nick got so angry at hearing that, at Manny bringing up a past that they would never share again; he grabbed Manny by the collar and pushed him into the wall.

"Don't you call me that!" Nick said, so upset that tears were falling from his eyes. "I loved you; more than anything else and all these months I've been wondering how it was so easy for you to shit all over it."

"Nick, I…"

"I know what you meant, I know what you've been trying to say and I'm not interested. See I don't wanna be your brother; mi hermano nunca me hubiera lastimado de la manera en que lo hiciste! The truth is, in spite of all your apologies, you don't have a drop of remorse for what you've done, but I don't care."

"Will you let me…"

"You listen to me; the law may have let you go but the law doesn't know you! It doesn't know what a jealous, petty and covetous little shit you are, and that you'll say or do anything to get what you want. But I am warning you, stay the hell away from my family! Get rid of all those fantasies in that head of yours about my wife and stay the fuck away; from her, from me and our daughter!"

 _My daughter!_ "You don't mean that,"

"Tell you what; you think so? Try me!" He told him then let go of Manny's shirt and backed away, leaving the house. And once outside, he went down the steps, his face full of tears and stopped, sinking down on the bottom of the steps and crying.

Inside, Manny stood there, against that wall. He thought that maybe he'd be able to reach out to his brother; maybe try to fix this situation but instead, he'd made it worse.

"Manny? Where's Nicky, what happened?" Caesarea asked as she came back into the room.

Suddenly just realizing that she was there, Manny got his bearings and turned to look at her."Nada ... Voy a ir a mi habitación."

"Baby?" She called but he kept on past her until he disappeared up the stairs with tears in his eyes.

When he got to his room, he punched the wall then sank down against it in tears. This was his life. He'd alienated the only woman he ever loved, his brother hated him and he knew that when Nick walked out of the house, it was the last time he'd see him again, the last time he'd see Zara or any of them again; the last time he'd see Olivia...

* * *

Later, Olivia was sitting alone at a table in a cafe. She sipped her coffee as she looked at her watch when Casey finally arrived and made her way over.

"Oh my god," Casey said as she practically ran to hug her. "Are you okay?" She asked in a sympathetic tone.

"I take it you heard then?" Olivia asked as Casey removed her coat and sat down.

"I heard from Barba, then I called the house and Nick told me. I tried calling your phone but I didn't get an answer."

"I was uh, not exactly in the mood for a friendly voice."

"Yes, a chai-latte, please. Thank you." Casey said to the waitress then turned back to Liv. "...how are you now?"

"I still want to ram my gun down his throat and pull the trigger, but..."

"You'll get past this. He may be free, but he's got the stink of a rape on him, and that will never disappear. You've got love; a whole lot of it, from a whole lot of people and this won't break you!"

They both had tears in their eyes, Olivia for her part in everything that happened over the last seven months and Casey because she understood all too much, Olivia's hurt and frustration. She knew what was going through Olivia's head right now, and she wasn't about to let it consume her best friend when there was so much good in her life. And she took Olivia's hand to let her know that she was behind her, always.

"It's funny; I never in a million years thought that we'd become friends when we first met…"

"Neither did I, but it's funny how life can surprise you," She smiled. "Liv, go home and talk about this with your husband because I know he feels hurt too; probably more than anyone."

* * *

When Olivia arrived at home, she hung her coat before she made her way into the kitchen where Nick was holding Zara over the sink while she washed her hands.

"Hi, mommy!" Zara said as she looked up when she heard Olivia enter the room, causing Nick to look up.

"Hey there peanut," she wiped her eyes and said as she went to kiss Zara who was holding her lips out.

"We're going to make spaghetti. Daddy let me help roll the meatballs!" She said happily.

"He did?" Olivia asked as Nick sat Zara on the counter and gave her a paper towel to dry her hands while Olivia looked at the tray of raw meatballs in front of her. "Good job baby!"

"Thank you. It was my idea to make them big and huge! Right, Daddy?"

"That's right, princess." He said then turned his attention to Olivia. "Did you breathe?"

"I breathed. Though, I should have stayed so we could have breathed together."

"You're right...but there's still time." When he cracked a small smile, she couldn't hold back and went to him, laying her head on his chest as she put her arms around him.

"I love you,"

"I love you too baby, you know that." He said as he palmed her belly and they kissed before Zara spoke up.

"Can we cook now? I'm hungry."

"I am too," Olivia said as she looked up at Nick. "How about I get started on dessert while you two handle dinner?"

"Sounds like a plan. Okay, Zee, ready to stir the sauce?"

"Ready."

He and Zara continued talking as they went about the sauce and Olivia looked at her little family, getting emotional again as she chewed on her bottom lip. _I'm over this…_ she said to herself, her hands gently rubbing her belly as the babies moved about.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." she kissed him and Zara and went to the refrigerator to gather some things.

* * *

Later that night at Caesarea's, she was finally asleep in her room and Manny was in the living room with his phone in hand, deciding if he should make the call he had been dreading. It wasn't about Nick; the truth was, he'd been having these doubts since his father told him earlier that he'd be coming tomorrow. As happy as he was that his father hadn't turned his back on him, he didn't want his Nicolas around him; not yet anyway. He just needed time to take in all that had happened, and he couldn't do that with his father around and he dialed.

"Papi? Hey, it's me...no, no. I'm okay. I was just calling because...Papi; I don't want you to come tomorrow, so please, do me a favor and just stay there. Papi...no sir, I just...Pa- hello?" He stared at the phone, realizing that Nicolas had hung up on him.

" _What, you don't want me there?"_ Nicolas barked at him. _Fuck it!_ He thought as he got up. He didn't have time to explain it to his father. He was done with that; done with a lot of things.

He looked back at the house before he set out a letter telling his mom goodbye, grabbed his bag and coat and left. He got into a cab that was waiting outside then told the driver his destination and was off. He'd figure his life out later, but for now, he was heading home to his apartment in Miami.

* * *

At Nick and Liv's, he was finishing up cleaning the kitchen when she came down from putting Zara to bed.

"You cleaned up?" She said surprised.

"You act so shocked," he laughed. "I was a functioning man with a clean home before we met you know,"

"I didn't mean it like that," She grinned as she came and put her arms around him. "Thanks for making dinner, it was delicious."

He kissed her and pulled back. "Hey, I wanted to give you something,"

"For me?"

"I know your birthday isn't until tomorrow…"

"What did you do?"

"I thought you could use a little happiness tonight," He took a small blue box with a beautiful white bow on it from a drawer on the island and sat it down in front of her. "Happy Birthday, Baby!"

"Tiffany?" She was absolutely spellbound just thinking what could be in that box, but the practical side of her kept her at bay. "Nick, we can't afford this."

"Yes we can and you don't even know what's inside; aren't you curious?" Her lips slowly turned into a smile as she looked at him, and she took the box from his hand, opening it and he stood with a grin on his face. She finally got inside and opened the inner box to find a beautiful thin gold bracelet with five little diamonds surrounding it and she was speechless. "I wanted to get you something that would symbolize our little family, you, me and our children."

In tears and trying not to burst into a sobbing fit… "Nick, it's beautiful!" She cried as she turned and buried her face into his chest. _Damn these hormones!_ Although it wasn't totally them.

"Mami...Don't cry,"

"I can't help it; after everything that I put you through these last few months…"

He took her head in his hands and gently lifted it so she was looking at him. "It's in the past. And after today, we're not letting it dictate us...let's tie that knot again."

Did she hear him right? "You wanna…?"

"I do. I want us to start over with everything as it should have been seven months ago. No secrets, no lies, just us promising to love each other. Can we do that, honest this time?" He got down on one knee and took her hand in his. "...so, will you make me the happiest man for the second time and marry me again?"

She didn't need time to think it over. "Nicolas; baby...yes! I'd marry you a hundred times; yes!" She said, him getting up and kissing her slow and sweet. Suddenly, Manny didn't matter to either of them. She would always have the memory of what he did her but like she told her mother, it was easier with Nick there helping her through it. And Nick, although he'd forever miss the relationship, he understood that the brother he knew was gone. You simply couldn't apologize for some things and hope to get a relationship back on good terms.

Tomorrow, she would marry her love again, and this time, she wouldn't allow anything to tear them apart.

* * *

 **Tbc… One last chapter here and sadly, we're done.**


	60. We made it (reworked)

**Chapter 60.**

 **Okay, so for those of you wondering why I had to rewrite this chapter, I changed the story up from the way first wrote it to give room for a sequel but let's be honest, I'm never gonna write one! So, that all said, here is the chapter as it should have been. Enjoy.**

* * *

Two months later…

In the two months since everything settled, Nick and Olivia both kept their word to move on from all that happened and start over without secrets or lies. They still hadn't fixed things with Vida, but they didn't have any desire to do so. It felt so good to know, especially for Olivia, that all of this that happened because of Manny wouldn't put a cloud over them anymore. She and Nick had been devastated when he was released but realized that he didn't control their happiness and they put it behind them.

Besides, they had bigger things to worry about. She and Nick had both taken the sergeants exam this past February, although now she was wondering just how much she wanted it. It's so funny how your priorities can change in just a couple years. Two years ago, if you had asked her about her plans for the future, she would have said without a doubt: " _I hope to still be in this department, catching and putting away the people that commit such heinous acts"_. Even though she was dating Nick, her focus hadn't changed. But now, she was a wife and a mom to Zara, and soon these babies, and she looked at things with a whole new perspective. She wondered just what kind of people she'd shape these babies to be and if she could do that properly with her attention divided. The job still meant so much to her, but now she had something that meant more and she wondered if she would want to hold onto it.

She walked into work this morning with stares from everyone who thought she would have gone into labor the night before, and even bet on it. She had barely taken a step into the squad room before Cragen came out of his office on the way to a meeting.

"Benson, what are you doing here?" He asked, honestly perturbed at seeing her there again.

Laughing quietly, she continued on her way to her desk. "What do you mean? I work here." She said and sat down as Munch held her chair. "I know, take maternity leave. But I'm already down to an even earlier day,"

"Benson…"

"Captain, I'll go crazy at home,"

"...you can hardly walk or breathe, Liv…"

"I walked in here, didn't I? And as for breathing…" She took several deep breaths, feeling herself get lightheaded from taking in air so fast. _Dammit_ if she was gonna lose this one!

"I just meant…" He looked to Munch and Fin for help and it was Munch who spoke up.

"...he just meant that you look like a sausage in a microwave-"

Olivia glared at Munch while Don cleared his throat and stepped away.

"Don't help, John," Don said with his head down.

On his way back from the fridge, Fin spoke up. "Might as well let it go, Cap. _A damn sausage in a microwave…_ " He said, eyeing Munch.

"What?"

Cragen, realizing that he couldn't win with Olivia, merely put his hands up. "I'll be in meetings all day, behave yourselves," he said to the squad before he walked out.

The day went on at an agonizingly slow pace, and she watched as the squad came and went all day, wishing that she could join them. It was horrible being stuck behind a desk and she felt a twinge of jealousy when she saw the other detectives come in with a perp that she knew would need interrogating but she was stuck behind this desk.

"Liv, if Novak calls, tell her we're on our way."Fin said, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, no problem,"

"You alright? Need anything before I go?"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" She questioned him, eyebrow raised.

With a look of confusion on his face, he said slowly, thinking out every word. "...just wanted to... know if you were comfortable. That's all.'

"I'm good. Just a little tired but I'm fine,"

"Alright, take it easy." He said as he rubbed her belly. "Take care of mommy, little guys." _Either get some help or have those babies already!_ He thought on the way out.

Olivia looked down at her belly. "...you could both come now." She said quietly as she rubbed her massive belly. If this thing got any bigger, she'd seriously need a forklift to get around! She had gotten so big these last two months, it felt as if she were in a dream.

She looked at the clock, 1:15, _Jesus!_ she said to herself. Time was taking forever, and the babies were killing her. She was glad that Nick was on his way to take her home so she could take the strain off her back and get some sleep for a couple of hours.

"Oh come on guys, again?" She said when she suddenly had to pee for the fifth or sixth time since she got here this morning. "Hey; rookie, a hand please," she called to one of the new guys, a beat cop, officer Coles who was on his way out. He eagerly came to her aid, and she waddled to the bathroom.

* * *

"Hey, Fin," Nick said. Fin was on his way out as Nick was getting onto the elevator from the lobby.

"Hey, Nick. We still on for tonight?"

"Sure thing,"

"Cool. Your wife is out of her goddamn mind, btw." He said, laughing.

"Don't remind me," Nick said. "I figure, any way you slice it, it's over within two weeks."

Laughing, he patted Nick on the shoulder. "Yeah, good luck until then… Oh, man, does that hurt?" he said as he motioned at his own neck to mirror Nick's where there was a large scratch. Then when he realized what may have caused it, he became grossed out. "I don't even wanna know."

"It's not that." he laughed. "But…" he sighed "you know what, I'll tell you tonight,"

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah yeah."

"Alright man; tonight," he said on his way out, and Nick quickly adjusted his collar before he headed upstairs.

...

He got off on seven, scared at what he'd find. Olivia's moods had changed so quickly this last month. One minute she was nice and sweet, the next she was either a bitch, crying or finding a question with everything, like everyone was somehow plotting against her, and he approached the squad room and saw her when he turned the corner. She was standing, filing some paperwork and stopped to stretch her back. Nick watched from the hallway as she did this; smiling at how she lovingly caressed her massive belly after she was done. He really loved her, he thought.

"Hey beautiful!" he said and kissed her. _Please be normal. PLEASE be normal!_ He prayed.

"Baby, you're here," She said smiling, and he smiled from sheer gratitude, as he gave a sigh of relief _._ She didn't appear crazy at the moment, so whatever it was that Fin and seen, thank God it had passed.

"I am. You ready to go?"

"So ready," She said as he grabbed her coat.

"Where is everybody?"

"Scattered. Is that what I think it is?" She asked as she eyed the bag he was holding. She was so happy when he said it was the roasted chicken sandwich she'd requested from Tito's, and she nearly burst as she squealed and took the bag.

"I love you,"

"...only because I feed you!" he grinned as he kissed her cheek and they walked out.

* * *

That night at the sports bar, the game had just ended and Fin, Nick and Nick's partner Keith were at a table drinking and Fin and Keith were celebrating their wins.

"I told you, man, you need to start bettin" Fin bragged as he tallied his winnings on his smartphone. "Look at that!" he bragged as he turned his phone for Nick and Keith to see.

"I don't gamble, "

"What _do_ you do?" he said to which Nick sipped his beer, grinning.

"...for the millionth time. I got better things to spend money on." Nick grinned.

"Hey, more for me" Fin and Keith laughed.

"Well," said Keith, "I didn't win as big as you, but I didn't win small either…Ferragamo, Daddy's coming baby!" and he took another swig of beer before he stood up. "Fin, nice hanging out with you man. Amaro, I will see you tomorrow."

"Alright brother," Nick said to Keith as he left.

"So, we're alone now. You wanna tell me what happened with that scratch?" Fin said as he finished his beer and ordered another from the waitress.

"It's not...I don't even know where to start."

"Anywhere you want,"

"There was this case Keith and I are working; Prescott. Anyway, after a couple weeks, the girlfriend of the deceased got loopy and kissed me." He saw Fin was about to go off on a tangent and wanted to stop it before it started. "- before you snap, it was over seven months ago, no I didn't kiss her back, and yes, I absolutely told Liv about it the moment it happened."

"So…?"

"Fast forward to two weeks ago. We're still working the case even though it's pretty much gone cold, but I check in with the girlfriend like I've done every month to let her know we're still on it and tell her to call us if she needs anything-"

"The usual,"

"Exactly. Only, for some reason, I decided to pop in and make sure she's good… she got to telling me how it's been so hard without him. How she's _been so lonely without a man there to hold her, keep her safe_ ,"

"What?" Fin said incredulously as he laughed, though unintentionally. It was rare to hear those throwback sentiments anymore, especially from the young- "wait, how old is this chick?"

"a little older than Liv, but not, you know? Real hard 40's. Dyed giant blonde hair, too much skin, and makeup. Smokes and drinks excessively, "

"One of those…" her statements made sense now. She was one of those types that never worked a day in her life, always had a man to take care of her and she, in turn, played her part of a habitually drunk doormat.

"Yeah. Anyway, she starts going on about how she needs a big, strong man like me..."

"She said that?"

"Verbatim"

He continues to tell Fin how Keith got the hint and made up an excuse to get them out of there, only to have her call three days later, and every three days since with some excuse to get him there in the form of remembering something about the case. He went, of course, always with his partner in tow to which she was surprised each time, and not in a good way. Then today, it's like she knew that his partner was off this morning and she called. She was hoping he could stop by and update her again on the case, and where the NYPD was as far as "catching the bums who did this." Having some time, before he went to grab Liv, and against his better judgment, he went, getting there and being shocked that she greeted him in a leopard-print robe, that when he got inside she let slip open revealing a matching negligee. He knew then that he should leave, and he tried to, but by then she had thrown herself (literally) at him, and pressed unbelievably tight around him, proceeded to lay her heart bare. But when he rejected her advances again and finally managed to push her off she got crazy. She started to scream that he doesn't have the right to refuse her, and who did he think he was. Realizing that he was in a situation that he never should have approached alone, he tried to again to leave but she blocked the door with her body and began to touch him very inappropriately. And by that point, he'd had enough and pushed her to the floor and turned to unlock the door at which point she grabbed onto him from behind and in her craziness, she scratched him as he walked out the door.

Fin couldn't believe what Nick had just told him and he tried to digest it. "So wait, that psycho assaulted you?"

"She didn't assault me," he said with all impassiveness, looking at Fin.

"Sounds like she did. Does Liv know about this?"

"I didn't tell her. I'm trying to make sure she doesn't get upset and you know Liv, "

"Oh boy, do I!"

"Anyway, I took it to my captain...again. I can't believe I'm back here with this woman. I'm just afraid that they're gonna start thinking that maybe I'm pursuing her,"

"Don't sweat it man, your captain and everybody else knows you're a good guy. Just stay away from crazy lady from now on, "

"Way ahead of you!" he said and took a swig from his beer bottle as his phone alerted him to a message. "you want what?" he said out loud to himself upon reading her text. "Liv just texted me that she wants _sweet and sour wings with...nacho toppings..._?"

Fin screwed his face up just as another text came through.

"Specifically: _salsa, guacamole, refried beans, cheese, extra onions and ground bee-_ " both he and Fin were gagging at this point as the waitress came with Fins beer.

"How is she eating beef on top of chicken?"

"Don't ask me, that's _your_ wife!" He said as he sipped his beer.

* * *

The next morning in their bedroom, Olivia was sitting at the foot of the bed breathing heavy when Nick came from the bathroom.

"Hey, I thought you would've been dressed by now," He said. He had a towel riding low on his waist and he was still wet as he mussed another through his hair to dry it.

She was on the verge of tears and he threw the towel that he was drying his hair with before he went over and kneeled in front of her.

"What's wrong, wait, are you in labor?"

"I wish I were," she said as she rubbed over the twins, hoping to calm them. "They're kicking the shit out of me again."

"Maybe they're protesting from what you ate last night."

" _Stopppp!_ " she cried. "I'm serious, and it's painful!"

"I'm sorry baby," he said as he kissed her. "but look at it this way, soon it'll be over."

"Everybody's saying that and I swear I wanna scream! Meanwhile, none of you are going through it, or even have been except your mom. Do you have any idea how hard this is?"

"I do"

"You don't!

"Okay, then I don't." He said, knowing that this was an argument he wouldn't win, so he tried a different approach. "...maybe they're..."

"Don't say it,"

"But maybe they aren't ready, babe. Just be patient, they'll come eventually. Just not now, right guys?" He said to the babies as he gently rubbed her naked belly.

She was full-on crying now. "I'm almost thirty-eight weeks. I'm exhausted, swollen, I can't breathe and-"

"Liv, don't cry," He kissed her forehead again, this time lingering there before he kissed her nose and then her lips and belly.

"I want them out,"

"Then we'll have to increase our efforts," He said, holding her hand and kissing it. As much as Olivia didn't want to, she couldn't help but laugh through her tears. "Baby, I think you just need to relax. Why don't we stay home today?"

"I can't ask you to do that"

"You're not asking," He said as he got up. "...and I'm sure Cragen won't mind if you took a day; he and the guys have probably been begging you to."

"Maternity leave, actually, and that's because they're overprotective like my husband."

"So then?"

Contemplating, she took a moment before she answered. She wouldn't admit it to Nick, but she really did need to slow down. Having twins period, much less at forty-three was a lot of work and when she wasn't exhausted, she was just plain irritable because she couldn't get things done as fast as she used to.

"Fine, but just for today." She said as Nick helped her to her feet, and looked at her adoringly with a smile on his face as she stood there in her bra and panties. "Baby, what happened to your neck, does it hurt?" she asked as she touched the scratch, being careful not to further aggravate it.

"Oh, this? Don't worry about that, I got scratched during an arrest yesterday," He told her and kissed her hands.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Thank you, baby."

She kissed him before turning and going to the dresser and fumbling through one of his drawers to retrieve one of his old, comfy tee shirts and rejoiced when she found the one she wanted; the soft, worn, green of the ARMY. She had loved that shirt since the first time she and Nick had made love, having put it on when the night temperatures had gotten chilly (Although it only came off again). She smiled at the memory.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked her.

"...just thinking back to thinner times," she said as he brought his head closer and kissed her lips.

"You'll be there again…" He took hold of the fasteners of her bra and released them, the bra sinking in front from the weight of her breasts. "You're so perfect, mami…" He whispered as he planted kisses to the nape of her neck, and then her shoulders. She let off a sigh as her head went back, laughing as his mouth tickled a spot on her neck that he kissed.

"You know what that does to me."

"Oh, I know," he said as he delivered more kisses. She really was beautiful standing there, he thought as he used both hands to slide the bra down her arms and away from her body before he tossed it aside and turned her around to face him. He should be used to seeing her unclothed by now, but he'd never get used to it. Not when she looked like this with her dark hair in waves that was now at her shoulders and fell beautifully around her face. Not when her full breasts, with their cinnamon-colored nipples that were just begging for attention, were already standing out proudly. Running his hands over them, causing them to harden from the roughness of his palms. Olivia threw her head back, enjoying the feeling of his hands and fingers as he pulled at them and she moaned and let the tee shirt slide from her hand and onto the floor as she felt his warm mouth sucking one to an even harder peak.

" _Nick…_ "

"...or should I stop so you can get some rest?"

Faster than she knew, she cupped his head and focused him to look at her. "Don't you dare, Amaro; you are going to fuck these babies out of me!" Nick simply smiled as he kissed her and she stripped him of the towel he was wearing, his member already hard and pointing toward his stomach. She smiled looking down at it, still amazed at how beautiful it was as she wrapped her long fingers around it and began to stroke it, paying special attention to the tip as she led him to the bed.

...

Nick was just unrelenting. She loved it when he was like this but holy shit, he was killing her, and now...

"Nick...Oh god!" Olivia cried as she was cumming. And now, sitting in his lap wrapped around him and feeling exhausted yet so, so satisfied as she rode him and wept tears of joy. Nick, however, wasn't done. And as he gripped her hips and bit the skin at her collarbone while he lay her down, he drove hard and deep into her, causing her to shake as she struggled to catch her breath. "Oh please...ple-" she started but her breath caught, making her eyes roll up and the tips of her nails leave indentations on his chest as her final orgasm hit hard and she came squirting torrents. Her climax caused him to let go as well, and he came hard, growling and pumping every drop deep inside her powerfully with his final strokes but she couldn't take it. "...n-no!" she cried and pushed him off, shaking as she curled into him, breathing hard.

"You okay?" He asked, forgetting his own frenzy and turning to her, moving her sweat soaked hair out of her face as he caressed it lovingly. "Did I hurt you?"

"Have you not noticed the size of you?" She said and laughed. "I just need a minute." She was still shaking from her orgasm as he covered them with the bedsheets that he'd recovered from the floor.

"Do you know how gorgeous you are when you're all sweaty and spent from our lovemaking!"

"You are such a liar, " she laughed. "I know I look like hell right now…"

"You're a beautiful hell, " he said and kissed her. "I hate to move but I gotta get Zara up and get her to school. You wanna join me for a quick shower?"

"You've kind of exhausted me; raincheck?"

"Alright, get some sleep." he said with a kiss to her head while he rubbed her belly. "you want anything while I'm out?"

"Chocolate muffins from the bakery near Zara's school?"

"Will do. I love you!"

"I love you too. Now go, before we're at it again."

That caught his attention and he stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Really?"

"Nick…"

"I'm going." he smiled and kissed her lips.

* * *

Late Friday night, Olivia was in the kitchen having a snack while she talked to Casey on the phone.

"...I'm just getting out of the office. I'm gonna have a quick drink and head home." Casey said as she ordered one from the waitress. "So what about you? Still nothing?"

"All I keep thinking is, what if this goes another week- or two for that matter? I'm old…"

"You're not old"

"I'm old. And as thankful as I am that these babies are healthy, there's no way I should have gone this long. Case, labor has to start, I'm ready for this to be over!" She said as she stretched her back and rubbed her belly.

"Liv, just give-"

"-it time?"

"Exactly. Anyway, Nick should be home soon, put him to work again."

"I hate you,"

"Love you too," Casey said smiling and hung up just as she craned her neck to get a better look at the man who had walked into the bar. "Fin!" She called to him as she waived. He took a look in her direction, spotting her before coming over.

"Hey, counselor. I thought you'd be home by now, " he said as he took off his jacket and sat down.

...

Olivia was bored out of her mind. Zara was asleep and she sat and ate from her bowl of broken pretzels, chocolate bars, and peanut butter until it was finished, then she got up and made her way to the sink. She quickly washed the dish and put it away before drying her hands on a paper towel and lotioning them as she felt the babies moving about.

"I love you both so much, but please come out." She said to her belly. They began kicking her lightly and she smiled. "I know mommy's nice and comfy in there, but I'm officially evicting you both."

Now, almost as if they were doing it to tick her off, the babies began moving around more aggressively, even taking Olivia's breath when they kicked too hard just as Nick suddenly walked into the house from work.

"Man, I'm glad I got home when I did. It's really starting to pour out there." But she just glared at him, with an insane look on her face as she held the underside of her belly where the twins had kicked her. "What did I do?" He asked, perplexed by her look.

...

At the bar…

"Why don't we spend more time together outside of work? You're such great company; a lot more personality than the guys I go out with." _and not bad at all on the eyes._

"Oh, I knew that." He laughed. "You do date some douchebags, "

"Douchebags huh?"

"I've seen a few, and they look pretty douchey to me."

"If you only knew." She said and took a hearty sip from her drink. I swear if I have to sit through one more dinner listening to a guy brag about his career only to end up getting bad dick at the end of the night."

"That's…" Fin said laughing hysterically. Casey was never one to mince words and when she saw Fin laughing, which is a rarity, she was taken by his smile.

"What? It's true." she laughed.

"Yeah, but small dicks? Damn girl!"

"I didn't say _small_ , I said _bad_."

"My mistake," he playfully apologized as Casey looked at him and smiled.

"So tell me, why don't I ever see you dating."

"Married to the job mostly, but I do when I have time, which is almost never, but... " He said and took a swig from his beer.

"I know the feeling. So when's the last time you had someone, if I may?"

"Uh, it's been a couple months. You?"

"Same, " She said and to her surprise, Fin leaned in and kissed her. She was surprised at first but quickly warmed up to it, pulling him in further as she leaned against the booth. Fin savored the softness of her lips and began to lick them with his tongue while they kissed and was surprised when her mouth parted to allow him entrance, which he more than happily took.

She savored the taste of beer on his tongue with something else that was uniquely Fin and tasted so sweet as their tongues danced in each other's mouths. Pulling apart suddenly when she needed air.

 _He's a great kisser!_ She thought as she tried to steady herself from the emotions she was feeling all through her body. Mainly her panties which had an ocean-going on in them. _Holy shit!_

"I don't know why I did that, " he said with a huge tent in his jeans. But still, he had to apologize. "Casey, I'm so-" But Casey didn't want to hear an apology, not with her nipples trying to rip their way through her blouse.

"Why don't we um, go back to my place and…" but his phone began to ring and he cursed it under his breath when he looked at the screen and asked her to excuse him while he took the call.

He put the phone to his ear already regretting it. "Yeah?"

...

"...Nicolas, baby; harder...HARDER!" She said feverishly as he had her bent over the kitchen island counter, her flowing red nightgown raised above her hips, and her legs spread. She didn't want any romance or niceties, she simply wanted him to hopefully get her labor going. She let out a cry of absolute pleasure that he caught with his kiss when he gave her what she wanted and started to really plow into her; slamming against her cervix. _"OH GOD!"_

Ten-fifty-two at night, a time when she would be sleeping, Olivia was being fucked beautifully and was ready to cum again. Nick reached around between her glistening slit and began to finger her clitoris while she started to weep from the sensation. It felt so good between that and the brutal yet divine fucking she was getting, she felt her climax upon her and was quickly coming undone. The way her walls started to contract around his massive shaft, massaging his dick in its incredibly wet, tight and warm embrace, he knew that this would be it for him as well.

"I feel you, baby, let go!"

"Oh god...oh god! Just; right there! Get these babies out of me!" She cried, he was giving it to her at a hard, pounding pace, but when she reached back and grabbed his hair, he knew that she was done for. Unable to control it, he began cumming; pulling her ample hips further into him and noisily releasing everything he had into her while he fucked into her with his final strokes. She stood there trembling as she cried out from the sheer intensity of it all.

"You okay?" He whispered, kissing her on her back and up to her neck.

"I'm…" She couldn't speak, she just ground her hips against him, attempting to milk him until he began to soften while they kissed. After a long moment where he was sure he'd given her his last drop while he breathed his exhaustion, he slowly pulled out of her wetness while she took a moment to come down.

All she could say was _Oh my God!,_ crying as she put her head down into her arm on the counter. She was still in the midst of a fantastic orgasm and her whole body was on fire. She wept, trying to catch her breath as she continued to shake. "Holy shit!" She said with a laugh, making Nick smile.

* * *

Saturday morning came around and Olivia lay in bed wide awake. She had gotten up twice more during the night to pee, and the twins had been at it since four. Even feeding them didn't seem to calm them down. She was so tired. At around six she went back to sleep. But of course, that didn't last long; because she had to pee again. That huge glass of chocolate milk she drank at five, was now revisiting her, so at nine o'clock, here she was.

She lay there, propped up on the pillows, on her back and staring at the ceiling while her hand absently traveled her belly as the babies moved about beneath her skin. She didn't even have the energy to go downstairs this morning, knowing that when she did she'd be carrying so much weight out in front of her. She felt like a damn… _Urghhhh!_ she screamed out of frustration, then just resumed lying there quietly, continuing to stare at the ceiling. What she couldn't figure out was why she still wasn't having any labor pains, in spite of the increased sexual activity between she and Nick.

"Hey, Case," She said as she grabbed her phone from the nightstand when it rang and put it on speaker.

"I was gonna say good morning, but you don't sound like you're having a very good one."

"I don't feel like it either,"

"Lemme guess, no labor?"

"Nothing yet. Casey, why are you calling me so early?"

"Well, um, last night after we hung up, Fin walked in so we sat and had drinks. And we sorta kissed"

"Wait, you and Fin? Kissed. That's...Fin?"

"We would have gone further but right when I suggested we go back to my place, he got called on a case."

Olivia just lay there in shock. "Fin?!"

"Will you stop?"

"Case, you called to tell me that you made out with a guy who's like my brother. I need a minute to absorb that,"

"You wouldn't believe how incredible his lips taste!"

"Okay, I'm hanging up now,"

"Call me later?"

"If I can get that image out of my head, I will." She hung up and let off a sigh as she tossed the phone on the bed and went back to staring at the ceiling and when the door opened, she didn't even acknowledge that Nick had come in until she felt the bed take his weight and he was suddenly right beside her, rubbing her belly. She didn't even notice that he'd brought in a tray of food with him.

"Babe?"

"What?" She was peering down at his hand on her belly and feeling herself growing a little upset.

"I was just saying that you're awake...and loud. Are you…?"

"I've been awake for a half hour now; and no, it's not started. That was just me going crazy. Where's Zara?" She asked.

"Downstairs with my mom,"

Still looking at his hand on her belly, she turned her eyes away for a moment. "Your mom's here." It came out harsher than she meant it to; not a question, of a statement that she wasn't about to apologize for. If anything, she should have wondered why she was so pissed at the idea that his mom was downstairs when she loved his mother. "...she came by early for a Saturday,"

"Yeah, she figured she'd get some cooking and housework done for you,"

She partially bent her arms so that she could sit up properly. Why did what he said bother her so much? She wanted to just let it go, knowing that it was just like it sounded; her mother-in-law wanted to do something nice for her and decided to make a few meals and do some housework to take some of the stress off her. But no. Her irrational side that she had developed lately wouldn't let her and had her questioning Nick faster than 5 - 4 -3 - 2…

"...for me? What do you mean _for me_? I didn't say I needed help you know." she practically yelled with her eyes were tearing up. "...you think I can't take care of this family?" She said as she started to cry though she tried so hard not to. "Does _she_ think I can't? ...and in case you didn't notice, there isn't even any housework to be done!" Now she was sobbing.

 _Oh dear God!_ Did he know that these were just her hormones wreaking havoc? Yes, but still, when she cried for whatever reason, it was like a knife through his heart.

"Liv, she didn't mean… I mean…" Nick thought about this hard before he went further. "...she wanted to… Get some things done… um, as… a gesture of… kindness?" When he saw that she had calmed down at the explanation he'd started, he continued. "You know, meals, laundry? ...today is laundry day... We just wanted to take some of the weight of the…"

"Weight? You think...?"

"What? No, you're not- I used the wrong word; I just meant that Mami wanted to ease some of your stress. She even made you breakfast."

That made her whip her head around quickly, looking for the food that had been right on the nightstand all along. When she saw it, she suddenly got happy, especially when she noticed that it was a toasted BLT!

"So much bacon!" She had a definite smile in her eyes, and on her face, as she picked up the sandwich, immediately biting into it. She had a look of serenity about her as she closed her eyes to savor the chew.

"I told her you'd like that." he boasted, even though she knew he was lying. But still, she gave him room, not really caring as long as she got to eat this magnificent beast of a sandwich.

"...by the way, I don't think I'm going back to work after this weekend…" she said then took another bite of her sandwich.

"' _By the way'_? When did you decide this? ...not that I'm not thrilled..."

Chewing, she stopped and grabbed the bacon that had dropped onto her nightgown, eating it before she spoke. "This morning; well actually last night," she said, then popped some of the watermelon that was also on the tray into her mouth.

"There's a fork for that…"

"Who has time?" she said and kept eating. "...you know, everything hurts too much to stuff into clothes and undergarments that are too confining. From now on, I'm wearing nothing but loose, comfortable clothes until further notice. Hell, I'd be naked if I could get away with it."

Picturing her naked, he, just for a second lost his train of thought as he imagined the things he could be doing to and with her, and he got caught staring.

"What?" she smiled and took another bite.

"Oh, nothing. Listen, why don't we, just us two, go back to the cabin? It's what I didn't get to tell you last night,"

"Well…" She smiled remembering their encounter in the kitchen. Nick did too and he entwined his fingers with hers, giving light kisses to her fingertips and lightening the mood considerably.

"Alonzo isn't using it, and tomorrow's my birthday. We can get there in a couple of hours, spend it alone with just each other..."

"That sounds divine, but we can't,"

"Why not? We can drive up this morning and stay until tomorrow night, a weekend before the babies come."

She sat down her orange juice after a long drink. "I'm like 600 weeks pregnant and I'm hormonal and irritable as hell. Why would you want to go anywhere with me alone?" Despite all of them, from Casey to the guys at the squad thinking she was irrational and had just lost her mind; she was well aware of the craziness that she was more often than not a part of.

"Because I love you." Hearing that made her smile. "Come on, it'll be just us. The weather is good, we can get you moving, make love everywhere, and get these babies out.

Eating more watermelon, she playfully rolled her eyes. "Promises, promises…"

"I promise, that before this weekend is over, you will be holding these little ones."

* * *

Olivia kept her word about her clothing, wearing nothing more than a long cotton dress by the time they got ready to leave.

"Nick, maybe I should stay; Zara just got over being sick."

"Honey, she's fine, that was a week ago."

"...but I'm not fine Papi," Zara said, trying to sound sad. "Mommy, can't I go with you? I'll be good,"

Olivia turned to Nick looking like she'd just been kicked, but Nick was quick and immediately got down on his knees to Zara's level.

"Hey," he said as he took her hands in his while she reluctantly met his eyes. "Vas a ser una hermana mayor muy pronto, ¿no?"

"Yes."

"Mommy and I need you to stay here and help abuela get things ready for the babies, estarán aquí antes de que lo sepas."

She looked back at her grandmother before she turned to Nick and Olivia, her eyes full of interest. "Like what?"

"Well, there's a basket of onesies and receiving blankets in the nursery that I bought the other day, and they haven't been washed and put away yet," Olivia said and Zara lit up. She loved to help with anything concerning the babies.

"I'll get them!" She said happily and started to run upstairs when Olivia called to her.

Hey, hey. No goodbye?"

"Oh." She came back and hugged Olivia's belly before pulling back to talk to it. "I'll have your things all clean when you get back." The babies, seeming to know that it was Zara's voice talking to them began to kick even harder. "I love you guys too!" she said, kissed Olivia's belly and ran off.

They watched her go before Olivia turned smiling to face Caesarea. "I'm sorry," she apologized for giving her extra work to do. Caesarea smiled as she hugged Olivia, telling her not to worry and to go rest, and have fun.

They were just about to head out, both of them grabbing a jacket from the closet by the door, but when they opened up to leave, suddenly thunder boomed quite loud as they were in the doorway and out of nowhere, it started a serious downpour of rain as Nick and Olivia looked on in disbelief, Olivia with her mouth open, then simultaneously turned their heads toward each other. Disappointment on their faces as Nick apologized with his eyes.

"Supongo que el clima tenía otros planes," Caesarea said from where she stood behind them at the staircase.

* * *

Needless to say, Zara was ecstatic. She had wanted Olivia to stay home and she got her wish. Now since their trip had been put off indefinitely, Olivia thought she'd keep herself busy and she and Zara set out to do the load of baby clothes she'd mentioned.

"All done!" Zara said as she folded the last of the tee shirts and put it on the pile.

"Good job peanut," Olivia had just finished with the blankets and put them all in the basket that they were going to take to the nursery. Zara insisting that she be allowed to carry it.

"I'm so happy that it's raining." They were walking down the hall to the nursery from the laundry room.

"Just between us, so am I. I can't think of anything better than spending my Saturday with you."

"Mommy, will you still have time for me when the babies come?" she asked as she dragged the basket.

"Well, it won't be like now but I'm always here," Olivia said as she opened the drawer and started to put the things away.

"What if the babies don't like me?"

"Oh baby, how could _anyone_ not like you? You are the sweetest girl and so kind. And you have a huge heart that's so full of every good thing in life. I know that they're going to love you so much, and you'll be the best big sister in the world to them."

"I can't wait until they're here!" Zara said as she hugged Olivia's belly.

"Hey, so I think the rains letting...oh, did I interrupt something?" Nick said upon walking in and playfully yanked Zara's ponytail.

"Daddyyy…" she laughed.

"Wasn't me," he said with a smile. "Hey, abuela says to tell you that she thinks the cookies are ready."

Zara's eyes went wide as she smiled, then ran out of the room and down the stairs.

"I'd tell her not to run but… So the rain looks like it's letting up."

She couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. "Nick, it does not, it's coming down even worse than it was a couple hours ago." She said with her hands on her back as she went to the rocker to take some of the pressure off.

"I just hate that we couldn't get away."

"So do I, especially since this weekend may have been the last time we'll be able to for a long time. And it's your birthday tomorrow."

"Maybe it'll stop and we'll still get out there."

"With the way it's coming down out there?" He playfully poked her belly to get the babies going. "Nick, please don't excite them,"

"Did I ever tell you how cute you are when you're aggravated?"

"Cute huh?"

"Yeah; cute." He said and kissed her on the lips.

Olivia ran her fingers through his hair, smiling. She loved this man more than her own life and couldn't wait to see their babies in his arms. "I wanna hear how cute I am when I'm in labor."

"You'll be as gorgeous as ever,"

"Now you're just trying to make me feel good,"

"Is it working?"

"Maybe just a little." she smiled and they kissed. "You know, I've been thinking, and you don't have to be in the delivery room if you don't want to,"

"Of course I'm gonna be there."

"I just mean; baby, It's gonna be messy, and I don't want you to see something that might put you off,"

"Nothing that this body does while you're giving birth will ever put me off,"

"You say that now-"

"I mean that now, and always. You're gonna be bringing our babies into the world, giving them life; you think I'm gonna be disgusted because you might poop?"

She covered her face and laughed incredulously and a bit embarrassed. "Oh my god...The things that came out of your mouth sometimes!"

"My mom wanted to familiarize me with a few things. I mean, that's it, isn't it?" Olivia didn't say anything, just shook her head and laughed while Nick shut the door. "You are gonna do fine…" He whispered, kissing her lips and traveling further, skimming her neck.

His lips felt so good, but... "Nick…Okay, your mother is downstairs,"

"She won't hear if we're quiet," he said, unbuttoning the top of her dress and continued to kiss her breasts. He put his mouth around her nipple through her dress and began to suck.

"Nick…baby... we can't. Not in here."

...

Twenty minutes later, Nick was fixing his sweatpants and smiling. It was a quickie, but it was worth it!

"I'm gonna get something to drink, you want anything?" He said to Olivia as she waddled into the bathroom.

"yeah, to give birth already." she laughed.

* * *

Later that day in the kitchen, Olivia and Zara sat around the island counter, Olivia picking the chocolate chip cookies out of the open jar while Zara did the same. Nick was busy preparing vegetables for dinner while Caesarea took the now-seared roast from the stove and transferred it to the countertop.

"God, I'm so big," Olivia said as she popped the remainder of her cookie in her mouth before turning to the fridge to get the salad ingredients.

"Honey you're pregnant, enjoy it. It's the only time you can eat like crazy and not be sorry." Caesarea said as Olivia smiled.

"I'm gonna be plenty sorry when it's time to lose this weight; it's gonna be impossible."

Nick meanwhile, had taken his phone from his back pocket when it vibrated and he looked at the screen. When he saw that it was a private number, he had a feeling that it was Debbie Ricci, Prescott's girlfriend, before deciding to ignore the call, then put it back in his pocket before he turned to Olivia looking somewhat shaken although he tried not to.

"Baby...you okay?"

"Yeah, I just...wrong number… and for the so you know, I'll love you regardless." she smiled as he kissed her on her way to the sink.

"You know, we still don't have names picked out," she said as she began to dump the arugula into the colander.

"That's because we still don't know what we're having. Girls names? Boys names? Boy and girls names?"

"Zara's 2 & 3." Zara said and they all laughed before Caesarea spoke.

"I'm telling you both, and I can say it because A) I'm the grandmother, and B) ...well, I just can. Olivia, sweetie, you're having boys."

"Caesarea…" Olivia groaned. Did she want boys? More than anything, but she also didn't want to get her hopes up and had been doing a good job of not doing so until now.

"Ma…"

"You two...and no, I'm not saying this from wishful thinking. Trust me, have boys names ready. No es así mis preciosos nietos?" She said as she gently rubbed Olivia's belly and the babies started to kick.

"I thought 'I' was your precious, abuela."

"Always, my love." She said to Zara.

"Mami, I love you but don't," Nick said.

"What?" Caesarea started just as Olivia dropped the bowl of arugula onto the floor and held the counter with both hands, breathing heavily.

"Mommy?"

"Liv, Estás bien?" Nick said as he went over to her. It took her a moment to get her bearings to answer him.

"The babies-" she started just as she felt a sharp kick while at the same time, she heard a _'pop'_ , and felt a warm, wet feeling of… _wait…am I leaking?!_ It was running down her legs at a slow drip. "...I think my water just broke!"

Nick couldn't believe it. "You mean…?"

"They're coming?!" Zara screamed in excitement. Olivia nodded her head as everyone was in a frenzy. She was in the middle of a contraction as Nick and Caesarea led her out of the kitchen. Zara was about to run behind them but Caesarea's phone which was on the counter in the kitchen started to ring and seeing that nobody was paying attention, Zara took it upon herself to answer it. She was surprised with who it was when she looked at the display and lit up.

"Uncle Manny, guess what? Mommy's having the babies!"

"Is that what all the noise is back there?"

"Uh-huh. I wish you could be here, but I'll get grandma-"

"Nonono, cariño, let abuela tend to your mom, I'll call later, okay? I love you."

"I love you too, tio. Bye."

He still loved her, god help him. But he realized that any chance he had of having her love him back were nonexistent. She loved Nick and had all along. And no matter how hard he tried, she always would. Maybe that's what kept him so fucked up in the head.

* * *

"Ella está en trabajo de parto!" Caesarea was on the telephone saying to her sister, Nella, who lived in Miami. "...sí, Nicolas está en el hospital con ella ahora… Zara está bien. En realidad está en la habitación con Olivia y Nick ...No, en realidad lo está haciendo bien; ha estado rogando durante meses para que la dejen estar allí, así que la van a dejar ir hasta que ... ¡sí!" she laughed. "Nella, te devolveré la llamada, esa es mi otra línea." She trusted that Nella would tell the rest of the family as she clicked over to a bunch of excited chattering in her ear as Sonia, Vida, and Mari was on a now three-way call.

"Mami, I got your message and called Vida and Sonia. Is she really in labor?" Mari said.

"She is, and hopefully it'll be some time tonight,"

"I can't believe it; Nicky's about to be a father again," Mari said. "They grow up so fast!" she joked.

"Yeah, these will be your seventh and eighth granddaughters," Sonia laughed.

"Not this time. Olivia tiene niños, yo solo lo sé."

"Mami, not to rain on your little parade, but you've said that through two pregnancies with Mari and Gina, three with Guillermo and me, and then again when Nicky was waiting for Zara to be born. Maybe grandsons aren't in the picture for you…"

"Todos se van a sentir bastante tontos cuando Olivia entregue a mis nietos. Just wait. Anyway, I'd better..."

" _Please don't touch me!"_ she heard Olivia yell from her room.

"...Nicolas is already on Olivia's nerves."

"Sounds like Nick," Sonia laughed. "We'll say a prayer. I love you guys, call with any news and tell Olivia good luck," she said before they all hung up.

* * *

Hours later…

"That's it, honey!" Caesarea said to Olivia as Olivia gripped her hand for dear life while going through the roughest contraction yet. It was a tense moment but Caesarea couldn't help but smile. Olivia was leaning forward in bed while Caesarea cooled her head with a cloth. "Look at you mami, ya casi has llegado!"

But Olivia couldn't be bothered as she was just trying to get through this, but losing as she forced air in and out of her lungs and grunted her discomfort.

"I can't…" She cried, tears dropping from her eyes as the contraction died down and she lay back against the pillows. She was a mess with her hair damp and sticking to her sweat-covered head.

Smiling down at her, Caesarea put the cloth down in the basin. "You're already doing it, baby. Come on, rest a little before the next one," Olivia nodded just as Nick entered the room carrying a small pitcher full of ice chips and went straight to Olivia's bedside.

"More ice…" he said as he sat the ice down on the bedside table, then sat beside her, holding her hand.

"I'm glad you're back She was trying so hard to not give in to the tears that escaped her eyes, exhausted and in so much pain.

"I'm sorry baby, I had to call my captain." He said softly as he smiled and stroked her hair away from her face. "How're you doing?"

"I don't know, I just want them to come,"

He reached for the basin and squeezed out the cloth that was resting in ice and began to pat her forehead with it to cool her. "And they will baby; they will. I know it's hard, but you just need to ride it out a little longer."

"No...no, I wanna go ho-" she started but trailed off as she felt another contraction starting up.

"It's okay my love,"

"It's not! Oh God, why does it hurt so much?" she cried with a look of absolute agony marring her features.

"I asked myself that every time," Caesarea said. "...except with Sonia, she was no pain. De hecho, tuve varios orgasmos mientras la entregaba…"

"Mami, I'm in the room!" Nick said, totally turned off. Just then the labor nurse came in.

"How are we doing?" but Olivia just let out a strangled cry. "In the middle of a contraction I see; well, that's good. Closer to the finish line! Why don't we let this one finish and then we'll check to see how far you are, k?" She said in a too-damn-cheery-for-after-midnight-voice. She had gone around to the contraction monitor and was reading the printout as the contraction continued and Olivia twisted in bed, burying her face in the pillows. She was trying so hard not to scream, but she hadn't been prepared for how downright painful this would be and the only thing getting her through was the thought that she'd be holding her babies soon.

* * *

At Casey's place, Fin and Casey walked in the door with Fin carrying a sleeping Zara, while Casey shut the door.

"Thanks for seeing us home"

"Just making sure everyone's safe. I'm gonna put her down,"

"I can do that,"

"How about you get a pot of coffee going? I could use a cup before I go,"

As she gave in reluctantly, she smiled. "Okay. Cream and sugar?"

"Black."

"Just how I like mine," she said before she headed off to the kitchen. A little later, they were on the couch enjoying that coffee while they talked.

"So. Ten hours. Don't they have a limit to these things?" Casey asked as she looked at her watch. Fin put down his coffee and looked at her.

"You mean birth?! Yeah, it's called 'whenever the kids feel like making an appearance.' I remember Theresa was in hard labor for twenty-seven hours with Ken." He said to which Casey flinched.

"and if I know Liv, she's toughing this out, still refusing a damn epidural."

"Knowing Liv…"

"Remind me to schedule a c-section if I ever…"

Fin laughed. "Noted."

She sipped her coffee as did he and it got quiet for a moment; maybe too quiet. She stared at him and suddenly found herself wondering…

"Listen, about last night, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? I wanted it as much as you did; I enjoyed it; a lot," she said as she drew closer to him.

Fin was damn excited but nervous. _Should we be going here?_ He thought. Last night, they'd had a couple of drinks, maybe they weren't thinking clearly. But now, they were both completely clear-headed, maybe… but when he felt her lips on his, so soft and yet so firm. Seeking entrance into his mouth …

"Casey, wait." He said as he against his better judgment, stopped the kiss.

"What's wrong?"

"I just- once we do this, we can't go back."

"Are you like this with all your dates?" she smiled playfully.

"Not really, but I usually haven't known all my other dates for so long...and like them so much. You've become a great friend, Casey, and I don't wanna mess that up." He said honestly.

"Fin, I like you too; a lot. But right now," She said seductively as she planted a kiss to his ear and sucked on the diamond stud she found there.

God, he was turned on at that!

"I don't care about how long we've known each other, we can work it out later."

"We can?"

"we can."

"what about Zara?"

"Shit, she's here isn't she?"

Fin was tickled by the fact that Zara being there totally seemed to slip her mind and laughed heartily. "Listen, as much as I would love to…"

"I know…" she was reluctant as she said it and even more reluctant as she started to climb off of him. "How about a kiss goodnight, then?"

"I can do that," he said and wrapped her in his arms as he kissed her passionately. And while they kissed, she made a mental note to never volunteer to babysit.

* * *

Olivia let out a long, pained filled groan as she reached for Nick's hand. She screamed and continued her pushing as the pain tore through her. She was trying, but it proved useless as it quickly got to her.

"Jesus, GOD! _"_ she cried.

"You're almost there, Liv." Nick tried to cheer her on but it was getting to him too.

She prayed that it would be quick, but was so wrong. This had gone on for fourteen hours. Fourteen hours where she'd cursed Nick while screaming that she was done and at one point, she lost it and was determined to leave. She was in her loosely tied hospital gown that had her entirely exposed, no shoes, and even stopped on the way out while she held her giant belly, to demand the car keys from Nick. The pain of the contractions had caused her to snap and she didn't know what she was saying or doing at that moment; she just knew that she had to get away from this place, from the pain. The only thing that stopped her was right as she was demanding the car keys, the contraction peaked and her second bag of water burst, coming out in a huge gush that pretty much crippled her. Now she was exhausted from all the laboring and pushing and her body was giving up. She just wanted this over and to be anywhere but here at this point.

Why _she_ was the one here with a bunch of people seeing her naked and in absolute misery? She was trying to push these babies out of an opening that (and she didn't care what they said about the vaginas ability to stretch when birthing) was too damn small! All while Nick was standing there, perfectly fine, and like an ass, holding her hand and telling her how to breathe. Then she thought about Caesarea. _She gave birth to this asshole standing here!_ She thought as she glared at Nick. _Did Caesarea go through this pain so that one day he'd grow up and do this to some woman? ...me?!_

"Dios mío! Olivia, Nick, ¿estás viendo? Ese es tu bebé ... tu hijo!" Caesarea said as the baby was crowning and she touched the head, lovingly caressing it.

"PLEASE, JUST GET IT OUT!" Olivia screamed in a tired, desperate cry as she continued to push, stopping only to let off and take in a breath before she resumed.

"That's it, Olivia here it comes, keep pushing…" the doctor said as the baby was making its way out of Olivia but she just let go and started to weep in frustration.

Nick was holding her hand, looking down and feeling nauseous as their babies was being born, especially seeing her vagina stretch and rip to accommodate them.

"Esta bien mami Él está viniendo; empujarlo hacia fuera!" Caesarea cheered as she held Olivia's leg.

Olivia let out another scream and continued pushing, ignoring every voice in the room and focusing on her baby being born when finally, she felt herself tear as the head came out and Nick began to sob.

"Holy shit, Liv, baby…"

"One more push, Olivia," The doctor said, and ready to get the baby out, Olivia gave a final push, freeing the baby from her body and falling back against the bed.

"Baby, you did it!" Nick cried, tears falling down his cheeks as he kissed his wife's face.

"I did one" she barely whispered, too exhausted to actually speak until she heard the baby cry and then the doctor said:

"It's a boy!" the doctor said as she placed the screaming child onto Olivia's chest. She bawled the second she looked at him; bloody and shaking and screaming at the top of his lungs, but he was beautiful; the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.

"What did I tell you?!" Caesarea gleamed with tears in her eyes.

"It's a boy!" Olivia sobbed against Nick as she held their son. "...Nick, he's a boy!"

* * *

Hours later, she was holding her two beautiful boys, identical twins weighing in at 8lbs 4oz, and 8lbs 6oz. Twenty fingers, twenty toes and two sets of very loud lungs that drowned out even their parents and grandmother's sobbing. They had heads of dark hair that came in straight wisps, and the darkest blue eyes that Olivia and Nick were sure would change but they didn't care about that, not when she had in her arms two gorgeous, perfect, new beings.

They both wished that they could see who the twins looked like, but with their newness, it would probably be a few days before they would be able to tell, though to hear Caesarea tell it, they were already an exact copy of Nick.

Nick, who hadn't stopped crying, caressed their heads as they lay against their mother. "I can't believe it."

"Look at them. Did we really do this?" Olivia whispered, with tears falling down her face. She was still crying from so much, but mainly for the fact that the babies were finally here, and in her arms.

" _You_ really did this," he said as he reached out and wiped her tears. She smiled as she looked down at the boys. He had been trying to forget the sight of so much blood when the first baby's head had been too big and ripped her terribly, only for the second one to come out butt first and add to it. "You took every bit of it like a champ"

"I didn't really have a choice, but look what we got out of it. I just hope you don't mind sharing your birthday from now on,"

"Are you kidding?" he said as he took one of the boys from her arms. "These little guys are the best gift that I could ask for." He said as he held one while the other looked up at Olivia, and then yawned. "...that's a big yawn, little man," To say that he was proud, was an understatement. "my mom's probably got everyone awake from here to Cuba right about now. I have NEVER seen her so elated!"

"She's earned it. I don't know how I would've gotten through this if it hadn't been for her."

"Don't let her hear you say that we'll never hear the end of it." they both laughed as Nick kissed his son.

"I didn't know that I could cry this much…" and she laughed as more tears came. "...I never knew that twins could weigh so much."

"They are pretty healthy,"

"Healthy? That's what we're calling it?" She laughed.

"I figured it's a nice way to put things...I probably should've told you that babies run large in our family."

She looked, giving him a playful eye-roll and him smirking lovingly before she went back to the baby she was holding.

"You know, now that the hard part is over, we need to name these miracles." They both thought that maybe they'd figure it out when they saw the babies. But right now, they were staring at their precious little ones, and still, they didn't have a clue.

She started to say something when the baby she was holding started to fuss and the baby Nick was holding started doing the same.

"Aw, guys..." she said after they checked the babies diapers. "I'm so sore it's unbelievable. She undid her gown and spent a moment getting the baby latched on, and wincing as he did.

"The doc said on demand until they get more accustomed, but mami, you know you can still choose to bottle feed, nobody will judge you," Nick reassured as he handed her the other baby and helped her latch him.

"I'll judge me," she said as she stared at them, watching as they ate and smiled. This was her reality now and she had never felt more in tune to the universe, never felt happier than she did at this very moment. "Am I being selfish that I just want to take them, and you and our little girl and hide away from the world in our own tiny bubble?"

* * *

It had been four months since their boys were born and every day was pure joy. Even in the beginning when they were both sleep deprived and she didn't have even a moment to shower, they still counted themselves blessed beyond measure. Olivia caught a fever and ended up spending four days in the hospital with the babies. And on the third day, they finally decided on names for the babies.

The oldest would be Jackson Tomas Amaro. Tomas for the son Caesarea lost before he could be born, and, after serious debating (during which Olivia may have used tears to get her way) they agreed that they would name the other after his father, though Nick dreaded it. He just didn't want his son to bear a name that _his_ father had, but Olivia wasn't letting it go. Nicolas senior may have been a disappointment, but his junior was an exceptional man and she wanted that to be a legacy that her son would carry. Nicolas Fiorello Amaro III.

The boys were even more beautiful now. Both of them fat and gorgeous with hair that had filled in and was now thick and wavy and stood up in a million directions. They would laugh thinking that Caesarea had been so right with saying that they looked like Nick; they were exact copies of him, which Olivia loved but didn't love their blue eyes in the beginning. She and Nick were both sure that they would change, and when it appeared that they weren't, she didn't like it at first. She knew the coloring came from her father; he and Simon had the same blues, only lighter. But that didn't make any difference to her. She was so in love with her boys, and when she looked at them, that's all that mattered.

Today after some serious compromising on both their parts, the babies were finally being Christened. This was a big deal in the Amaro family, so it was no surprise to Olivia that Caesarea had family coming from every direction to witness it, but still, a shock when she saw how she'd actually filled up a rather large church. Olivia had only a handful of people there, but Caesarea...she wanted to argue with Nick for not reining her in but figured it was one day. And she couldn't tell her _no,_ she was so proud of her grandsons.

"I can't believe this blew up into an affair that's bigger than most weddings," Casey said to Olivia over facetime while she finished putting on her outfit while Olivia sat in the bed, in her robe, nursing the boys.

"It's certainly bigger than _my_ wedding, and I thank God every day since this thing started that Nick and I didn't give up control of that. But hopefully, today will pass quickly."

"Mommy, can you wear these shoes?" Zara asked as she came out of the closet with Olivia's Christian Louboutin, glass slippers on. Olivia had bought them for her wedding last year and hadn't worn them since. While they were beautiful with their stiletto heel and rhinestones studded about, Olivia wasn't sure if they were right for today, but oh, Zara was so cute as she walked in them.

"Oh honey, I don't know. Remember I bought the really pretty white pumps to wear today?" You picked them out," Olivia said of her new Manolo Blahnik pumps. Though looking at the other ones now, they really were a great pair of shoes.

"But I like these,"

Olivia asked Casey. "...too much for a Christening?" she said as she turned the phone to Zara's feet so that Casey could get a look.

"...couldn't hurt,"

"told you, mommy"

"I don't know; I'm already worried about my dress,"

"Don't be. Even though you've lost a ton of weight, you look amazing! How are my godsons doing?"

"They're busy feeding, they eat like ravenous wolves," she said as the boys suckled away, grunting and each holding a breast as they did.

"Wow, I remember in the beginning when you were scared to death of those little guys."

"...couldn't be alone with them, I was so terrified that I'd do something wrong. I'm just glad I had so much love around me when I needed it. I just wish that Amanda…"

"Hey, no sadness today"

"Yeah, I know." she reminded herself as she pulled it together. "So, any chance on you two coming out out any time soon?"

"Oh God, no! We don't wanna put a name on it yet."

"Case, it's been four months,"

"And it's been drama free, stress-free and we'd like to keep it that way. Anyway, I'd better go and get the gifts in the car, I'll see you at the circus."

"Don't remind me," she laughed and hung up.

"Mommy, will I have babies one day?" Zara asked as she wrapped herself in one of Olivia's scarves.

"One day, if you want them...a very, very, very, very, VERY long time from now. But you're only six years old, we have a long, long, long..."

*Mommyyy..."

Olivia laughed just as Jackson stopped sucking and let go of her nipple, milk running down his chin and Nicolas following as they stretched out on the nursing pillow, holding hands as she dabbed at their chins with the burp cloth and they both belched in unison.

They were happy and full in their red, Thing 1 and Thing 2 onesies.

...

Out in the hall…

"Yeah Mami...yes...yes, I know. She's feeding them right now... What? No! Mami, I'm hanging up. Yes, I will see you at the church." He said and hung up. He loved his mom but she had become a pain since their sons were born. He and Olivia letting her run wild with the Christening just to keep her out of their house. They both understood that the babies were her only male grandchildren, but you'd think she gave birth to them with how much time she spent with them. Olivia didn't have to lift a finger with them after they were born except to nurse them and if his mom had gotten her way and convinced Olivia to start pumping sooner… But it was all in love, that they knew.

"We decent?" Nick said as he came in the room. Olivia was busy laughing as she was playing with the twins on her lap and Zara was still in the closet.

"Hardly," Olivia said, playing peek-a-boo with the boys and them laughing hysterically.

"My mom says to tell you-"

"No. I don't want to hear it," she said as she hid her face behind her hands and opened them to the boys' delight sending them into another fit of laughter.

"Thank God, cuz, to be honest, I feel weird repeating it. How are my dudes?" He said to the babies who abandoned peek-a-boo and were now looking up at him and kicking their legs in excitement. He picked up Jackson just as Zara came from Olivia's closet.

"Daddy, can we go for ice cream before we leave for the christmassing?" Zara asked, coming from the closet.

" _Christening,_ " he said with a laugh and kissed her. "...and I don't see why not. How about you go and put your shoes on?"

"Yayyy!" She screamed as she ran to her room.

"I love to see you two spending time together," Olivia said as she passed Nicolas to Nick and got up, her robe undone.

"I could take them with us," he said proudly as he kissed them both and they giggled happily.

"They'll be alright. Besides, you and Zara need some bonding time."

"You sure?"

"Baby, they have each other. They'll be fine."

* * *

"A half hour later, Nick and Zara were walking through the little shopping area of the town with their cones in hand and they stopped at a bench and sat down.

"I love ice cream so much!"

"You do?"

"Uh huh, I only love my brothers more." She said and lay her head against his arm as she licked her ice cream, getting vanilla all over her face and nose.

"Just your brothers? What about mommy and me?"

Zara thought about it "Yeah, you and mommy too. Daddy, can we have another baby; a girl this time?"

"I don't know princess, that's kind of up to mommy, not me,"

"Why?"

"Why? Well, because a mommy has to carry the baby in her body for nine months, and then give birth to it, so it's her decision if we have more."

"I'll ask her then. Mommy would love another baby!"

"Oh yeah?" he grinned at her assumption. "and how do you know that, mi amor?"

"Because, she loves me so much, and she loves Nicky and Jackie so much, so she would love another baby so much too."

"Good point. But, your brothers are barely four months old and it wouldn't be fair if we had another one right now."

"But I want a sister. Jackie and Nicky have each other; I need a partner, Daddy."

Nick laughed as he hugged her and kissed her. Could he have told her that with Olivia's condition, it would be next to impossible to get pregnant again? He could have, but even if they did have the option of getting pregnant again, Olivia probably wasn't interested in having more children; at least he thought.

"Tell you what, how about we talk about it later? Right now we have to get home and get ready to leave for the Christening."

"Can we take some ice cream to Jackie and Nicky?"

"I'm afraid they're not old enough for ice cream yet, sweetie. But I bet mommy would like some,"

"Chocolate!"

"Chocolate it is. Come, let's get that ice cream and head home." He said as he and Zara got up and walked off with her skipping as he held her hand.

* * *

The Christening went perfectly. Pretty much, but the issue came when they got to the church and Caesarea told them outside that in addition to inviting Vida, she had invited Nicolas Sr. Nick half expected her to but hadn't counted on her actually doing it. Caesarea didn't know if Nicolas would actually show up and figured that she would keep it quiet until she was sure. Today, just before Nick and Olivia arrived with the kids, she was sure!

"Zara, por qué no vas adentro con la abuela? Estaré dentro de un minuto."

When Caesarea had gotten inside with Zara, Olivia turned o Nick, holding Nicolas.

"Baby. I know you probably wanna go, but-"

Nick was just quiet for a minute while he looked down at his sons babbling quietly to one another in their christening gowns. It was as if Jackson were saying to his brother, _Dude, they put us in dresses!_ and Nick smiled.

"Honey?" Olivia called to him, her hand resting on his cheek.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. Today, we're gonna celebrate these two and I won't let him spoil that. Let's go and get our babies christened." She was beyond happy when he said those words; because although she wasn't sure how _she_ felt about meeting Nick's father for the first time, especially since all the mess with Emmanuel; Nick gave her strength in that he was willing to face him. And if he could do it, then so could she.

"You look amazing, by the way." He said, loving the slim-fitting, silvery-white dress that she wore. Sleeveless and high above the neck, it was just above the knee and had an opening in the back that tied at the neck and gave just a peek of skin. Paired with the shoes she wore, those glass slippers that Zara picked out, she looked amazing, as did Nick in his white suit.

"Maybe if I'm not too tired, you can take it off me later,"

"I'd like that very much. You ready to go in and meet the asshole?"

"Stop. You said it yourself, today is _their_ day," she said and looked down at the twins who were babbling quietly. "Come on, let's get this over with so we can get them out of these dresses.

* * *

Later that night, Nick and Olivia had finally gotten home with the kids, all of whom were asleep but the twins woke up for a feeding as soon as Olivia got ready to grab a bath and was in her robe.

"You've got to be kidding me!" She whined. Thinking for sure that they'd sleep just a little longer to give her time to enjoy a bath.

"Hey, you relax and enjoy the bath, I'll get some breast milk from the fridge," Nick said and kissed her.

"You're a godsend, you know that?"

"I know" he smiled.

...

Later, after feeding and burping the twins, they thankfully went right back to sleep in his arms after their diapers were changed and Nick rocked them. He put them down in the same crib, as they couldn't yet stand to be apart from each other and he set their nightlight to cast stars and clouds on the ceiling before he went, leaving the door to their nursery ajar. On his way back to his room, he looked in on Zara once more.

When he finally got to their bedroom, he started to undress, throwing his pants and shirt on the chair where his jacket had been sitting from earlier. Now in just his boxer briefs, he decided to go check on Olivia, knowing how she would fall asleep in the bath. But when he turned around, there she was, over by the bathroom door and she was breathtaking, standing there in a black silk nightie and went down to the floor but left nothing to the imagination as it was sheer all over! He couldn't believe she was real as she came toward him, God, she looked amazing!

"Is this all for me?"

"If you like it,"

"If I like it...if? Mami, do you have any idea…?"

"I know I said earlier that maybe you could take my dress off me, but I thought you'd have more fun with this," she said as he walked a circle around her. There were no panties beneath the gown. It was thin and there were no panties and just that fast he began to get hard he was so excited. She looked beautiful and hot, her body looked incredible, the smell of her skin, the feel of it. Her hair which had grown even longer than before she'd cut it fell down in waves...this was just too much for him and he now had the worlds most painful hard-on.

"...I'll take that as a yes?" she laughed.

"I'll...yes, you can...Goddammit, yes!"

"Then why aren't you touching me?"

"Because I don't know what the rules are; I mean, what's the protocol? Twins came out of your body four months ago; does it still hurt? How should I touch you now? And what about your breasts, are they off limits? Do I need to be gen-"

She shushed him with a finger to his mouth. "It doesn't hurt, you should touch me like you always have; everywhere, however you want. I'll tell you if something doesn't feel good. But you're right, being that it's been a while, why don't you start gentle and we'll take it from there." She kissed his lips, "okay?"

"Very much okay!" He said as he lifted her, her legs up around his waist as his lips and tongue sensually kissed and licked her mouth, face and neck before he lay her down and climbed on top of her running his fingers along the curve of her neck, down to the swell of her breasts. "God, I love you, my wife!" he said as he planted kisses to the swell of her breasts and kissed his way down until his face was at that most special place between her thighs.

He slowly drew her gown up around her hips until he could worship it with kisses and his hands, and finally with his tongue as she writhed, moaning hard into her hands as she tried to keep it quiet. She knew she had gotten more sensitive since the twins were born, but…

" _Shiiiit!"_ She suppressed her urge to scream, her eyes wet with tears at the feel of him and she was going to cum just that fast.

She would never stop loving this man!

 **The end.**


End file.
